It has been a while since this story was updated. I needed a break from my other fanfics and write something funny. Hopefully, this will get me back up and running for next week, because I plan on taking a break from writing as a whole the week after.

Without further ado, let's get on with the chapter! :)

5
Spiky Human

Natsu was eating like a pig in the guildhall. It was the first time in the past three weeks that he hasn't woken up to something cursing him in his house. He thought maybe Zeref decided that he needed a break, but then this happened:

"I have a delivery for a Natsu Dragneel," said a mailman, who was holding a small box in his arms.

Natsu looks up with his cheeks puffed out full of food. "Wef(Yes)?" said Natsu before he swallowed his food.

The mailman walked over to Natsu and laid the box down on top of the bar counter where the dragon slayer was sitting. After that, the man handed Natsu a clipboard. "I need you to sign this, and then I'll be on my way."

Natsu grabbed the pen and scribbled his name on the line with a look of confusion on his face. He didn't remember ordering a package. After he was done signing, the mailman left him and the package behind.

Natsu's team and the rest of the guild walked up and surrounded Natsu. "What's inside, flame breath?" Gray asked while staring at the box with a wary look.

"I don't know, ice queen, why don't you open it?" Natsu growled back, irritated at the nickname, but also not trusting of what could be inside.

"Not happening. It is around that time for you to be cursed again," said Gray with a small grin. He may have hated Zeref, but he found his pranks on Natsu funny.

Natsu glared at his icy friend but decided to not say anything in return in favor of sniffing at the box. Besides the smell of cardboard and seeing small holes in it, Natsu smelt a lizard inside. He guessed it was safe to open, so he lifted the lid. Inside the box was indeed a lizard, a horned lizard to be exact.

'Why would someone send a lizard to me?' Natsu questioningly thought. He carefully picked up the animal to take a better look at it. Its whole body was covered in spikes. They weren't sharp like he thought they were.

He looked back in the box to see a small folded piece of paper. Now he had a bad feeling. Before he could grab the paper and read it, he heard gasps from behind him. He turns around to see what was wrong, only to see that they were staring at him.

'Okay, now I'm worried,' thought Natsu as he quickly turned around again to pick up the note and read it.

When you touch the lizard, you'll grow horns all over your body. –Zeref :)

After Natsu finished reading the note he looked down at his body. All over his chest, shoulders, stomach, and back, he could see spikes and horns growing. He can even see them still growing like weeds on his arms and legs. He reaches up for his neck to feel if there were spikes there too – there were – and there were some on his head too.

"Why is this happening to me…?" Natsu said softly and with a whine.

"Well, it can't be helped," Erza sighed, making Natsu turned to her with a raised, spiky eyebrow. "We still have a job to do, and just because you're covered in spikes doesn't mean you're getting out of this, Natsu."

"Our job has something to do with a stolen horned lizard, doesn't it? Do you think that this is the one the zoo is looking for?" asked Lucy.

"It's possible. After all, Zeref was the one who sent flame head the lizard," said Gray, who then grinned a second later. "Oh, sorry, I meant horn head."

"Then let's bring it back," said Erza. "Natsu, you're carrying it."

Natsu sighed but picked the lizard up anyway. He knows they don't want to touch it in case the curse is still active. Once he had the lizard firmly in hand, he and his team leave the guild to go to the zoo.

It took the team a while to get to the zoo, but when they got there they got the news from the owner that they have the wrong lizard.

"What do you mean it's the wrong lizard?!" Natsu cried out in disbelief.

"I mean that the lizard you brought me is male. The one that was stolen was female," said the owner, with a small glare thrown at Natsu for his outburst.

Erza sighed, "Well you heard the man. Natsu, give the owner the lizard we have. We'll go and look for the female afterward."

It was Natsu's turn to sigh. He gave the zoo owner the horned lizard Zeref sent him, and then he and his team go looking for the missing female.

"Where are we going to find a stolen female lizard?" asked Lucy.

Erza thought for a moment and then an idea popped into her head. "We could check the security footage and see who stole it," she said.

"But wouldn't the owner have told us that?" asked Gray, thinking that the owner would have checked the footage himself and then show them a picture of the culprit when they got there.

"Maybe it isn't stolen?" suggested Natsu. "Huh?" He paused in his walking when he felt something on his leg. Everyone else noticed him stopping so turned back to look at him. Natsu looked down to see what touched him, only to see a different horned lizard. "Where did you come from?" Natsu asked the lizard.

Lucy went to grab the lizard, but when she got close the lizard snapped at her and started growling. Lucy had to pull back or else she wouldn't have been bitten. "That was close," she said.

"Natsu, it seems that this horned lizard has taken a liking to you. Pick it up and we'll see if this is the one we were meant to find," said Erza.

"What if it isn't?" asked Gray.

"Then we'll look at the videos."

Natsu sighed again and picked up the lizard. It was hard to bend down with all the spikes all over his body, because he didn't want to poke himself. He was able to grab the lizard, which was making some strange noise, but Natsu decided to ignore it.

Natsu, Gray, Lucy, and Erza go back to the owner to see if they had found the right lizard.

"That was fast," said the owner. "Did you find anything?"

"We're not sure if this is the right one or not, so we thought you would know and brought it here," said Erza.

The owner took the lizard from Natsu's hand, or at least tried to. The horned lizard tried to bite him too. The owner gained a thoughtful expression. "Hmm…"

"Is there something wrong?" asked Lucy.

"No, this is the right one," said the owner. "You see when this one goes into heat it gets a little snappy with everyone except for its potential mate. It must have to do with your friend here being cursed for touching that male horned lizard you told me about, which gave him some of the male characteristics. This little girl here must think your spiky friend is her possible mate."

Natsu's eyes widened in horror. 'This had to be planned!' There was no way Zeref didn't come up with this. It was too perfect. A lizard got 'stolen' and was in heat, while Natsu got cursed by a male lizard of the same breed. "Do you have a…picture of the one who stole the female lizard?" asked Natsu.

"Huh? Oh yeah, give me a second to get it. I guess I should have given this to you in the first place," said the owner as he bent down to his desk drawer and pulled out a picture. "Here you go, it was him."

Natsu took the photo and looked to see who it was that took the lizard. What he saw didn't surprise him, but he was no less horrified. In the picture was exactly who Natsu thought it would be. It was Zeref. He took the female lizard and let it wander the zoo while he gave Natsu a cursed male.

Natsu let his hand drop, and then he took in a deep breath. "ZEREF!" he shouted as loud as he could. "When I find you I'm going to put you in a bright pink, frilly dress! It was bad enough you turned me into a girl that one time, but now you confused this poor lizard into thinking I could be her mate! I may have been raised by a dragon but that does NOT mean I'm looking for a lizard to be my girlfriend!"

Gray grinned at that. "Does that mean even he thinks you need a girl? You're how old and you have never had a girlfriend?"

"What about you, Gray? I've never seen you date either!" said Natsu.

"Yes, I have. I asked Juvia out a week and a half ago. Don't you remember? She was all excited she turned into a puddle," said Gray. "Even Erza and Lucy have dated, what's your excuse?"

"Well… um…" Natsu didn't have an answer to that one. He had never really thought about dating before. He saw everyone in the guild as family. Makarov was like the grandfather, Gildarts was the father figure, and the rest of the guild were like brothers and sisters to Natsu. "I just hadn't found the right one, I guess. I'm waiting for when I feel a click. Dragons only mate once, so I'm waiting for the right one for me before going on a date," said Natsu after thinking for a few silent moments.

"Sure…whatever helps you sleep at night," said Gray teasingly, earning him a glare from the dragon slayer.

"That's enough, you two," said Erza. "Natsu put the lizard on the desk so we can leave."

Natsu placed the lizard on the desk, but she grabbed hold of him and wouldn't let go. "Let go…" Natsu whined. He just wished that this day would end already.

"Hmm… I have an idea," the owner said as he grabbed the lizard Natsu's team brought with them earlier. The man placed the male horned lizard on the desk, which caught the female's attention. She must have realized that this male looked a lot more like her, and so let go of Natsu and went over to the other of her kind.

"Thank you," Natsu said in relief.

"Here is your reward," said the owner as he handed out a bag of money.

Erza took the money. "Thank you, I hope everything goes well for you and those two," she said while pointing at the two new lovebirds.

With that, Natsu leaves the zoo with the rest of his team. He planned on going back to the guild to eat and then head on home.

Zeref was up in a tree on the zoo grounds. He heard what Natsu threatened him with, but he couldn't help but laugh about it. He does not believe Natsu would be able to succeed when Zeref would be safe in his palace. He would like to see him try though.

'He does need someone who will make him happy. However, if he does, she is going to have to pass my Big Brother Test. If she does, she'll have my blessing,' thought Zeref.

Zeref looked down at the camera he brought with him to record Natsu's day as a spiky human. He thought that maybe he should do this for the rest of the time and make it into a movie. He was sure he would get rich off of it. Sadly he might miss a few of his curses, like he already did. Luckily he did record the other times too already.

With an evil smirk and that plan in mind, Zeref left to return home.

The idea of Zeref recording Natsu and making them into a movie makes me want to animate it. I'm not really good at drawing people though…So I would have to make it simple. When I get a new computer, I'll try animating the first chapter and see how it goes.

Natsu: You're planning what now?! D=

Enj/Dark: What? I think it would be funny.

Zeref: Same here. :)

Natsu: This is torture, you know that?

Zeref: Not really. They are harmless pranks. Torture is if you are in pain, be it physical or emotional.

Enj/Dark: Not only that, but I'm sure a lot of people would like to see something like this animated. Warning though, I'm still a beginner. It won't be that smooth, but I will try my best.

Natsu: *sigh* Please review…