Before we start, I want you all to know this is one of my mom's ideas. She can come up with some crazy ideas, so the more out there chapters are likely from her.

This chapter also has a warning in it. This may seem gross to some of you, but I promise, it is funny as heck! XD

21

Natsu washed his hands after using the bathroom. He lit his hands on fire to dry them off, but he made the fire too big and almost hit his frienemy with them.

"Hey! Watch what you're doing, flame brain!" Gray shouted in annoyance, fist raised and clenched tight.

Natsu turned his narrowed eyes toward the ice-make mage before rolling his orbs. He didn't want to pick a fight in the bathroom because it was far too cramped. He didn't know why they had only one bathroom with a single toilet and sink, but they did, and he wasn't planning on damaging it just to get back at the ice princess.

"Whatever," Natsu said as he turned to leave, but Gray refused to move out of his way. This annoyed Natsu, but he tried to keep his temper in check. The dragon slayer felt it rise steadily after each week Zeref pranked him. It had gotten to the point he began looking for jobs involving curses.

"What is with you?" asked Gray, sounding annoyed, but a light in his eyes that said something else, but Natsu didn't care to understand it. "You have been acting strange since last week. Don't tell me these silly little pranks are too much for you that you can't take the pressure."

Natsu felt his eyebrow twitch. "I can handle these stupid pranks just fine. What I need is a way to get back at that jerk," he growled.

Gray rolled his eyes. "Just put him in a rainbow dress and stick it to him for a year. Honestly, it's not that hard."

Natsu felt pressure build up in his head while it heated up. "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" he shouted furiously. "He's been pranking me for weeks, and each one has been humiliating! Only one of his pranks involved you, causing everyone to go to the hospital! So to you, a rainbow dress is enough, BUT NOT TO ME!" The last shout made Natsu's body explode in a blaze, burning the walls and breaking the toilet sitting behind him.

The sound of shattering porcelain caused Natsu to freeze and turn to see shards on the tiled floor where the toilet used to be. His pale face became ghostly white when he heard armored feet rush toward him. Natsu snapped his pink head around to see Erza punch Gray on the top of his head, earning a shout of pain, and then she aimed another punch at Natsu. Her fist was too fast to dodge, so he accepted his painful fate with a cry.

"What are you two doing fighting in the bathroom?!" Erza demanded.

"It's not like that!" Natsu claimed, but he knew he wasn't getting out of any punishment.

"Really? Then why is the toilet destroyed and burn marks covering the walls? Natsu, I know Gray can cause your temper to rise, but wait until after you both are in a much more open space," the red-haired mage said and sighed. "As punishment, you will replace the toilet, Natsu. As for you, Gray, you will clean this up." Erza's eyes darken as a shadow obscures her face. "Get moving…"

"RIGHT AWAY!" Natsu and Gray ran out of the bathroom, but only Natsu left the guild hall to buy a new toilet. Gray ran for the cleaning supply to collect the broom and dustpan.

Erza closed the now-empty bathroom door and waited for the two troublemakers to return. But the bathroom may not be as void as she thought because a young man with dark hair and clothes appeared in the room.

Zeref looked around, noting the destruction his little brother caused. Surprisingly, the toilet paper wasn't damaged. It was perfect for his new prank. He gently laid the tips of his fingers on the toilet paper roll and cast a curse. He also added his note at the end of the paper roll so the last user could read it.

An evil smirk stretched across Zeref's face as he thought of a girl being the last to read the note. Oh, his brother will be in so much trouble, even if it was Natsu's older brother's fault.

With his prank set up and the sound of Gray returning, Zeref vanished without a trace.

()()()

Natsu returned with a new toilet, earning some chuckles from his guildmates. He entered the bathroom with a scowl firmly in place, ignoring those he saw as family. He paused when he saw the bathroom had been cleaned to perfection. The walls and floor shined glossily, allowing Natsu to see his reflection faintly. The mirror showed zero damage, making the dragon slayer wonder how the ice mage managed that.

It looked like there hadn't been a fight here at all. The only proof of Natsu's outburst was the hole in the floor where the old toilet used to be.

Natsu sighed as he got to work putting in the new toilet. He set it over the hole and began hooking it up to the tubes to allow the water to run. Once the water was turned on, the dragon slayer flushed to test if there were any leaks. When he saw none, he nodded, washed his hands, and turned to rip some toilet paper off to dry them.

As he finished drying his hands, Natsu felt a tugging sensation. It got more powerful by the second until it was almost painful. Natsu blacked out for a second as the tug did one final pull. The dragon slayer was confused, wondering what happened. He saw he was still in the bathroom but wasn't standing where he used to be. He was next to the new, snow-white toilet, where the toilet paper was.

Natsu was lower to the ground than usual. He thought he may have fallen, so he tried to stand, but confusion entered the pink-haired teen's mind when he couldn't move. He tried to feel his body, but it felt softer and smaller. He didn't understand what was going on. He couldn't move and felt different. Natsu could look around with his eyes, but he noticed a weird outer film. It was like he was looking through a window on a winter day.

The dragon slayer tried calling for help, but no sound was made. He attempted to set himself on fire, but no sparks or smoke appeared. Before panic could take root in his mind, Natsu heard faint footsteps approaching.

Someone knocked on the wooden door once and waited for an answer, one Natsu tried and failed to give.

"Natsu, are you in there?" Happy's voice filtered through the door, causing excitement in the dragon slayer. The door opened to reveal the blue exceed. Happy looked side to side, confusion shining in his large eyes. "When did Natsu leave the bathroom? I didn't see him leave, and there is no window for him to sneak out of," Happy questioned aloud but shrugged off the mystery and turned to leave.

Natsu watched as his best friend left the room in fear. Why couldn't Happy see him, and why did his blue friend have to have a short attention span?

Suspicion leaked from a dark corner of Natsu's mind as he thought about what Zeref could have done to him this time. He knew it had to be the dark mage's doing. That man never missed a week without fail. But Natsu's mind told him that Zeref may have cursed him into the toilet paper roll. It made sense; he was where the paper roll sat, he was low enough, and he couldn't move.

A burning light of hope allowed him to pray he was wrong, but the shadows of doubt drowned that spark little by little as people continued to enter the bathroom.

Most people came in to see the new toilet and criticized Natsu for buying a cheap one. It sat lower than the previous toilet and had a longer bowl, but Natsu didn't think it would be such a problem. If the thing works, then who cares?

'Apparently, my guildmates,' Natsu thought, annoyed. If he had eyebrows, he knew one of them would be twitching.

"Hey Gray, have you seen Natsu?" Natsu heard Lucy ask the ice mage from outside the room.

"I saw him enter the bathroom with the cheap toilet, but I don't remember seeing him exit," replied Gray.

"What about any of you?"

"Aye! When I went in to look for him earlier, the bathroom was empty."

"Surely Natsu couldn't have gotten far. I'm sure someone saw him."

"Maybe…he left for a job?"

"I'll go ask Mira. In the meantime, you five search the area and question the townspeople if they've seen him leave the guildhall again."

The voices drifted off after that. Natsu couldn't see them, but he recognized the voices of Gray, Lucy, Happy, Carla, Wendy, and Erza.

The dragon slayer didn't know how to feel. He wanted to feel loved because his friends were worried enough to look for him, but he was frustrated that he was right there and no one could see him. It annoyed him more when he couldn't inform them of his well-being.

"ACHOO!" Natsu was startled when he heard the loud sneeze. The bathroom door opened to show Elfman rubbing his nose shortly after. The big man approached Natsu, who was beginning to worry. What were Elfman's intentions? He got his answer when Elfman's large hand grasped the tail of loose paper. Natsu could feel the rough skin gripping the toilet paper gently as Elfman unraveled it. Natsu watched the world spin as the paper roll turned. He was getting dizzy, but thankfully the spinning ended after three seconds.

Elfman started to pull on the paper, making Natsu panic, fearing it would hurt. He pictured a limb coming off and imagined the pain would match. The toilet paper ripped, but it wasn't painful. Natsu was surprised but grateful. The ripping felt more similar to how he roughly removed his shirt.

Natsu was relieved, but the emotion was replaced a second later as he watched Elfman blow his nose into the bunched-up toilet paper. The dragon slayer shuttered in disgust - that used to be a part of him, but now it was being used as a snot trap. Natsu couldn't feel it, thank god, but that didn't stop him from feeling gross and wanting a shower ASAP!

The situation only got worse from there. Not only did members from the guild use him as a snot rag, but Juvia came in to pop a pimple and clean it out. But the worst thing that had happened to him was when people needed to wipe their butts. It was absolute horror. It was so sickening that Natsu began making a hit list.

The list went as thus:

Makarova (Who blew up the toilet.)

Bickslow (Who also blew it up.)

Gray (Who missed the bowl and used toilet paper to clean the floor.)

Juvia

Levy

Erza (Natsu knew he would be unsuccessful in enacting his revenge.)

Happy (Who cleaned his face from slimy, scally fish parts.)

Gajeel

Cana

Elfman

He already knew what he was going to do to Gray. That ice block mentioned a rainbow dress. He may not use it on Zeref, but he will use it on that ice queen. The others will take some musing, but by tomorrow, Natsu will have plans for everyone.

()()()

Natsu wished he couldn't see anything. Lucy came in to use the toilet. He tried to think of something else, like how much time he had left before turning back into a human.

"It's almost midnight, and we still haven't found Natsu," Lucy muttered, using the last bit of toilet paper roll.

Natsu shuttered when he realized what Lucy said. He might return to normal while she's here, but she was about to get up and leave, giving him hope.

Lucy paused, looking down at the ground. Natsu panicked, wanting her to leave before she got the wrong idea, but when he saw her pick up a note, Natsu knew he was already doomed.

'I guess the note fell out when Lucy used the last bit of toilet paper,' Natsu thought as he listened to Lucy read.

"I placed a curse on the toilet paper. So when you touch it, you will be transported into the roll and be trapped there until midnight. Don't worry. You won't feel it when someone wipes themselves. -Zeref"

Yup, Natsu was going to die tonight. He could feel his body leave the blank roll and join Lucy, who slowly turned scorching brown eyes toward him.

Natsu wanted to run away when he saw how red Lucy's face was. She looked torn, but Natsu only had time to dwell on that thought for a second because Lucy punched him in the face with all her might. The world spun for a second before turning black.

()()()

Erza found Natsu and the note the following day. She read it and showed it to everyone in the guild with a terrifying expression on her face. Natsu gulped as he saw everyone turn to him with stormy eyes. They stared for a few seconds in pure silence before sighing, "Sorry, Natsu," all of them said as they took turns punching his lights out.

I hope you all found this funny. The crazier the chapter, the more likely both my mom and I brainstormed. I thought of mentioning what Natsu did as revenge against everyone on his hit list, so I'm open to suggestions. I'd also like to hear what you'd like to see Zeref do to Natsu next. ;)

Natsu: This was by far the worst one. *shaking in trauma.*

Zeref: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Rolling on the floor, failing to get air into his lungs.*

Enj/Dark: The next one won't be too bad. Please review! ^-^