Chapter Six
Beauty Does Exist in This World
A/N: There are spoilers ahead, so if you haven't seen the OVA Episode 3.25 "The Sudden Visitor: The Tortuous Curse of Youth," you have been warned. There's a small part of the episode at the end, but the majority of the episode will occur in the next chapter.
Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me. I only own Emalina and any other OC's.
~ oOo ~
"Alright Bertholdt, you got it this time, I'm positive!"
"They usually say third times the charm, but you'll definitely make it on the seventh."
"Jean! Ugh, ignore him, Bertholdt. Just do exactly what we've been practicing and you'll be fine. Just believe in yourself."
Standing in the open training grounds, Jean and I were the only ones around, as the others were training elsewhere or doing whatever they wanted. Shadis finished our training early and, as we have the day off tomorrow, said we could do whatever we wished for the remainder of the day. Right after we were dismissed, that's when Bertholdt suddenly asked if I could help with something e's ben struggling with. I wasn't one to turn someone down, and we had been working together since mid-afternoon, the sun soon to set off in the distance. We had spent the entire time correcting his riding techniques and gradually incorporated his gear to use both at once. He had been doing a splendid job and was a fast learner, but the last part he couldn't seem to grasp was standing on the horse when needing to utilize his gear.
The poor cadet fell each time he struggled to stand on the saddle.
Groaning, the tall cadet tiredly said, "Fine. But if I didn't succeed on the last six attempts, who's to say I will this time?"
"Because I said so," was my firm reply. Hands on both hips, I wasn't allowing Bertholdt to leave until he could manage to do the technique successfully at least once.
Standing in the orange glow of the evening, I reflected on the last few months as I watched Bertholdt ready his gear, as it had released from his body when he fell from the last attempt. It had been a few months since the end of the year exam; six months since my unanticipated accident that could've led to my death. Thankfully, my injuries healed without any complications, other than some scars across my frame, including the one on my arm that was roughly three inches long. Everyone was happy I recovered and returned to training not much longer. Hell, even I was ecstatic there was nothing to hinder my ability in becoming a capable soldier.
With that said, other cadets that I either didn't know, or didn't associate with, suddenly asked me to assist with their training as soon as I was healed, and when we began combining our swords with the ODM gear, the requests were pouring in. I did what I could to help, but couldn't work with everybody.
Mounting Freyja, as I allowed Bertholdt to use my horse, the male looked concerned and feared he would fail. Poor Bertholdt...he holds a negative view of what he's able to achieve, and sometimes I wondered if that had anything to do with the village he and Reiner were raised being attacked by the titans several years ago. Nevertheless, I still pushed him because I wanted him to succeed, and a little push does go a long way.
"Alright, do you remember what we've discussed?"
He nodded. "Trust the horse and focus on the task at hand."
"Yes," I replied, nodding my head. At my side, Jean crossed his arms and gave me a look. Nudging his side with my elbow, I gave Bertholdt the signal and he spurred Freyja on.
His instructions were simple: maneuver Freyja around the training grounds until she was galloping towards the forest edge and attempt to use the ODM to fly towards one of the trees. Watching from the side, Bertholdt's face held concentration, but the male focused a bit too much.
Bursting with a rush of endurance, Freyja sped forward; Bertholdt gripped the reins tightly, eyes focused on the sight ahead of him. Clasping both hands to my mouth, I bit my fingernails in anticipation and watched as he maneuvered both feet from the stirrups and jumped upon the saddle. I instantly cheered and watched as he flew towards the trees, zigzagging between several trees before retrieving Freyja and making his way back towards the two of us. Walking in our direction, both Jean and I met him halfway and I jumped for joy, giving the cadet a high-five and a side hug.
"I told you!" The smile on my face was large, but I was really happy I could help. Poor Bertholdt seemed embarrassed as his cheeks turned red.
"And what was it I said? He'd get it correct on the seventh try?" Jean smirked at my side and I shoved him again.
"Oh, hush you! So what if it takes three, seven or twenty times? If you practice hard enough, you'll achieve whatever it is you're wanting. How did it feel, Bertholdt?"
Scratching his head, the male looked down in my direction as he was a whole foot taller than me. "Just as you said, Emalina. I trusted Freyja this time and just...did what I needed to do. You think I was thinking too much?"
"It's very possible, you tend to overthink certain situations."
He nodded in agreement. "How can you not? We're expected to master riding a horse, the ODM gear and put them together?"
"That's why you need to trust your strength and your horse. Heh, then again, Freyja's an amazing horse regardless, aren't you sweetie?" I scratched along her nose and she whinnied in response."
"I thank you, Emalina. You went out of your way when you could've done something relaxing." Still with cheeks red, Bertholdt rubbed the back of his head.
Gleaming, I couldn't but feel proud, not only or my friend, but for me. Hey, I have to give myself some credit when it is due, right? "I'm awesome, I know."
Both Jean and Bertholdt chuckled, the taller of the two stating, "You are correct on that one. I... thank you again for today Emalina, I appreciate it. What can I do to help you?"
Stunned, I blinked several times. "Huh? Oh, nothing Bertholdt! I didn't help to get something in return!"
"A-Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?" I shook my head, not wanting any form of payment. "Well...if you think of something, let me know. You've done a lot for us cadets."
"I try..." Meekly laughing, I was a little embarrassed, but smiled.
"I think I'm going to get dinner, you coming?"
Shaking my head, I said, "Not just yet, but we will."
Thanking me one last time, Jean turned, arms still crossed. "He's right you know."
"About what?"
"You do help a lot of the cadets when they ask for it. And... you don't really get something for it."
"I help because I want to. Is there something wrong with that?" My eyes widened as I considered the possibility that people could be using me, but, if so, why?
Noticing my expression, Jean's cheeks turned pink. "N-No, no! I think it's great you go out of your way for others. Just...don't forget about you, ok?" Gently knocking his fist against my head, I swatted his hand away and smoothed my hair.
"I won't because you'll be there to remind me, Jean."
"Ema, Jean!"
Noticing our names being called, we turned our heads and saw Marco walking in our direction, smiling as he usually did. "Hey, you've been out here awhile. Either of you hungry? I'm headed to the Mess Hall now."
"I could eat!" Jean exclaimed and I nodded. If we waiting any longer, we probably wouldn't get anything until breakfast. Walking into the Mess Hall, we grabbed our plates and drinks, heading towards our usual table. Sasha waved as I passed her, as she was sitting with Connie and Christa, along with Ymir, of course. Sitting, I consumed several bites of the potato soup, desperately wishing I could get my hands on some meat. We sat in silence, all three of us taking our time to eat before it grew cold, and, as usual, Marco was the one to instigate our conversation.
"So, what'd you guys think of training today?"
Marco was speaking about Shadis readying us for the trial we had in two days. We would travel to Trost in the morning and be tested on what we'd been training on since the exam the day after, putting our strength, knowledge and stamina into a planned titan attack. We would be broken into teams and were assigned a specific segment of the district, directed to eliminate as many titans as we could in an allotted timeframe, while protecting the citizens. The Cadet Corps, it's administrators that is, had been working with the Garrison Regiment in planning this strategy as an evacuation drill.
"It'll be different, that's for sure," I answered, sipping more soup.
"Very true," Marco mumbled. "We're used to training here. Who knows what it'll be like within the city?"
"No difference, really. A changed environment, sure, but the goals the same."
"But we'll have to worry about the citizens, as this is a drill."
"We're being prepared for the possibility of another titan attack."
"You think there'll be another attack?"
I shrugged my shoulders, pushing the possibility into the depths of my mind. "Who knows? We're more prepared than three years ago, but...it's different when you're in front of the real thing."
Marco and I continued to converse about the upcoming drill; it would be a unique experience for us cadets but something caught my attention. I noticed Jean hadn't mentioned a comment, not once joining the discussion. We both looked in his direction, a stern frown growing on his face as he stirred his bowl. Touching his shoulder, Jean narrowed his glare in my direction as I recoiled my hand. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he muttered.
"Jean," Marco said. "Come on, what's going on?"
"...I don't want to go home," he breathed, ripping apart his bread and shoving the pieces in his mouth.
"Is that what this is?" Marco asked and I blinked. That's it? He didn't want to go home? What the hell?
"Jean?" I asked timidly, not sure what was rolling through his mind.
"Ema."
"What's...if I may, what's wrong with going back home, to Trost?"
Tearing more bread, I could see his anger boiling underneath his fingers. "My mother..."
Marco glanced at me from across the table, neither of us understanding. Sure, Jean had complained about his mother since training began, but why would that anger him in such a way? "Umm..." Trying to think of what to say, I decided to keep quiet, remembering such a time when I didn't want to speak on personal matters. "I mean no disrespect, I just...didn't understand. But we're there for a drill, so we'll be busy the entire time, right?" Glancing at Marco, I asked again, "Right?"
"R-Right!" Marco mumbled, spooning more soup into his mouth. Biting his lip, Jean shook his head and ruffled his already messed up hair before disheveling mine. Groaning, I smoothed my hair and watched as Jean's smile slowly returned, but it wasn't the same. But I knew the one he wore.
Jean was agitated.
I didn't understand why; what transpired between earlier and now? It was only once Marco mentioned our drill in Trost when Jean just...shut down, much how I used to do – well, sometimes still do. Sitting there, slowly rotating my spoon around the remainder of my dinner, I couldn't help but wonder: Jean was born and raised in Trost, but stated he didn't want to go home, where I assume his mother is. Pondering on the small amount of info my friend has shared, I couldn't pinpoint a connection. That is, until the light switched brightly on within my brain, igniting a multitude of questions I hadn't considered previously.
Has Jean ever mentioned his father? I wondered.
No, I'm fairly certain he hasn't.
Thinking of all the times I mentioned my own father, Jean never seemed to react in a negative manner. Then again, I've well versed in hiding my true thoughts while providing the opposite façade to please society.
DING, DING, DING!
Raising my head, the other cadets surrounding our table stood to their feet and returned their plates before leaving. Following Jean and Marco, we exited into the cool night and I stretched my limbs. The three of us chatted for a few minutes, but my yawning proved to be too much before I found myself wishing my boys a good night's sleep. Returning the gesture, I could feel one set of golden eyes follow my trail, making my way towards the female dorm I resided in; my gaze lingered on the back of Jean's head just as he'd turned towards the male dorm. There were other females inside as well and I quickly changed into something comfortable before climbing into my top bunk, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders. I wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep.
But sleep continued to evade me.
Listening to the other female cadet's converse between each other was something I grew accustomed too, but the only conversation I paid any attention to was the one raging in my head.
Why hasn't Jean every mentioned his father?
Why doesn't he want to return to Trost?
Why doesn't he want to see his mother?
Why, why, why?
It took some time with the same thoughts circling around each other inside my mind, but I was finally able to feel my eyes droop. Rolling onto my side and holding the pillow close, there was one remaining thought which lingered. One single thought instantly pulled a tear from within, trailing down my cheek and sealed my eyes shut for the rest of the night.
Must be nice to have a place to call home.
~ oOo ~
The following morning was spent rising bright and early, watching the other female cadets within my dorm try to gain a few more minutes of sleep while others were drowsy as they dressed. As someone used to early mornings, I was already dressed and packed with the required necessities we were to bring. From my peripherals, I could see Sasha throw the sheet over her head and I gently shook her shoulder, promising my friend half my bread if she would wake up. Sasha's eyes shot open as she hurriedly stretched, our uniform thrown over her body as she perfected the leather straps across her legs.
"You'll seriously give me your bread?!" Her excitement in the morning caused others to glare but I chuckled.
"I said I'd give you half, Sasha."
"That's better than nothing!" As we were the first to be ready, we left our bags and headed towards the Mess Hall. Surprisingly, Jean and Marco were waiting outside the doors for us and we all ate the morning meal, waiting patiently for our orders to leave.
It was an uneventful morning as the directors, Commander Shadis and all the cadets trekked from the training grounds towards Trost. I saddled Freyja but walked with my friends, my horse occasionally nudging my shoulder, wanting to play an prance around. Humoring her, I jumped on her back and strode around the path to Trost; others stared and others scorned, but my focus ignored their whispers insinuating I was lazy, refusing to walk while the others were forced to.
Hell, my steed needed her exercise too.
My ears ignored what they wanted to say. There hadn't been any physical assaults in the last several months as the females who bullied me had been discharged, but some cadets still avoided me altogether. Jean and Marco thought it was because they were threatened by me, thereby separated themselves without having to deal with me, either as a soldier-in-training, or me personally. Whatever the reasoning, I let it go. Originally, I joined the Cadet Corps to grow stronger, to save humanity, not to make friends.
But here I was, nearly halfway through our training and my three best friends surrounded me each and every day, trying to protect me from those who thought I was a threat in their ability to strive for the Top Ten.
Though there were cadets who ignored me, but since my accident, cadets who I hadn't spoken with came forth and we began conversing, my circle of friends growing day by day. Some were friendly and sought advice while others wanted a friendship, and I was finally confident in my ability to bond with other individuals.
One especially was Eren Jaeger.
It wasn't a strong friendship, but since I trained, ate meals, and spoke with Mikasa and Armin almost daily, Eren was there and we became as "friendly" as could be. There were others I was surprised who wanted to know me and spend time outside of training. Who were they?
Reiner Braun;
Bertholdt Hoover;
Mikasa Ackerman;
Armin Arlert;
Eren Jaeger;
Connie Springer;
Christa Lenz – and with Christa came Ymir;
Thomas Wagner and Mina Carolina.
Even as I switched between walking and riding my horse, I was happy thinking of those becoming close to me on friendly terms; there was relief growing from my ability to reach outward towards others, and a comfort I'd nearly forgotten. Jean, Marco and Sasha were the only three I could truly confide in. My trust was expanding, I wanted to be around others, something I'd lost when my parents passed.
When I was rescued by the Scouts, I had grown close to those within the Regiment, but they were older, experienced, and in a different league. I wasn't around those my age; even living in my village, I wasn't close to any children. I didn't know how to be social, not wanting anything to do outside of taking care of the horses.
All my thoughts were put on hold when Commander Shadis ordered us to attention. Standing in proper formation, our hands in salute, Shadis addressed us as he walked back and forth, his intense gaze sweeping over every individual. Moving my head when I had a chance, my sight acknowledged we were near Wall Rose, roughly a quarter mile from the gate leading into Trost District.
"Cadets! We are nearing Trost District, to which the evacuation drill will commence tomorrow morning. We have arrived here one day early because I have been most gracious to provide you with one day to relax and traverse the district before the drill. But let this be a warning: just because you are soldiers-in-training, do NOT disrespect me, yourselves or the Military. Curfew will remain the same, but I suggest remaining with Headquarters as not to pull yourselves into any sort of trouble. Any questions?!"
"No questions, sir!"
Satisfied, we were lead the remaining way towards the gate, and once we passed through, we were met with crowds looking in our direction, obviously aware what was to take place the following morning. I couldn't help but glance from person to person. Growing up within a small village, the aspect of a city held a different perspective that my experiences. A different change, Trost District was where I had lived for two years before joining the Cadet Corps, but I still preferred the country. The open plains, grassy hills, and a clear, blue sky that wasn't obstructed by the frightening height of the walls structured to keep its residents alive.
But what did obstruct my view was the stone superstructure that was the Headquarters for the Southern Garrison Regiment and the Scouts. Smiling at the building, I knew I wouldn't see my friends from the Scouts as they were conducting their own training elsewhere. Those who had never been to Trost gawked at the view, the Headquarters from the other Districts were smaller, as the titans drew from the south, pinpointing the area around Trost to be the point of interest.
Boots clanking against the cobblestone pathways, it took some time for almost two-hundred cadets to trek their way towards our destination, but also be checked and taken towards their room. One floor was set aside for females and two floors down was for males, with the directors and Commander on the floor in between.
Very smart, Shadis, I thought, snickering.
Once all cadets were checked in, dropped their belongings to their room, I secured Freyja in her pen at the stables before making way towards my room. I had changed from the uniform into something comfortable as we had the rest of the day to ourselves. Removing the straps and outer jacket, I donned dark pants, my military boots, with a basic shirt that was a bit too big, the cloth falling over my shoulders if I wasn't careful. Wondering around, I found Sasha and we made our way towards the Mess Hall, finding Jean and Marco along the way. Guiding them where to go, we eventually found the other cadets enjoying their lunch as we obtained ours, sitting at the table with Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie. The three nodded in our direction and I smiled, enjoying the company I was with; Connie soon joined not long after, taking the seat opposite of Sasha.
Grabbing a spoonful, Connie asked, "Did you guys look at the drill packet?" Sasha and I shook our heads; I wanted to wait until later, but apparently, our male friends had already done so.
"I did," Jean answered, his tone slightly dismal.
"Me too," was Marco's answer. "I guess you girls don't know which team you're on."
"And you do?" I snickered, taking a bite as the three males nodded, looking at each other.
"Sasha, you're on my team, as well as Marco," Connie stated.
"Yahoo!" The girl yelled, throwing her arms into the air.
"Which leaves Emalina..." Connie started, but was interrupted by Jean.
"On my team," Jean finished, his golden eyes seeking hers.
Eyebrows raised, I smiled and leaned across the table to high-five Jean, who, surprisingly, met me with the same enthusiasm, the chin eating grin plastered on his face. There's the smile I know, Jean.
"Ya know, you and Jean are always on the same team, Emalina. Have you noticed?"
Nodding, I shrugged, not caring one way or the other. "Yeah, so?"
"It's just strange!" The short male stated, flinging food into his mouth.
"Maybe the Commander places us together because we work well with one another," I answered, smiling at the comment. Did Shadis really placed us on the same team every time?
"I second that," Jean agreed, knocking our cups together as if we were giving a toast.
"Me three!" Marco exclaimed.
"Me fourth!" Sasha filled in, mouth filled with bread and potatoes.
All heads turned to Connie who rolled his eyes. "I actually have to agree. You both do work really well together."
"Hehe, told you. So! Who else is on our teams?"
"You're lookin' at em, Emalina." Came a voice from down the table. Reiner waved his hand with a bright smile while Annie stared nonchalantly towards the rest of us.
"Wait, which team?" I asked.
"Ours," Marco answered. "At least Reiner is, Annie and Armin are on yours."
"Oh nice! It'll be good to work with you, Annie," I smiled, but she rolled her eyes.
"Sure, whatever."
"Oh, come on now. Show a little more excitement," Connie said.
"Excitement for what? An evacuation drill for something that may, or may not, happen again. So what's the point?"
"But that's why it's a drill, Annie." Biting into my bread, I wasn't surprised the rest of the table turned their eyes on me.
Bertholdt, at the far end, was the only one to speak as he questioned me with, "You seem confident there will be another attack."
Chuckling, my head shook, a low voice escaped my lips when I looked at the tall cadet through the corner of my eye. "When you witness the death of loved ones, you begin to question what caused the attack. I've had three years to look back and wonder what happened, why did the titans suddenly attack?" The table grew quiet, my three close friends new my story, but the others didn't know what to say.
"Emalina, did you..." Reiner couldn't finish his statement, but I knew what he wanted to ask
"You just get to thinking. It took one-hundred years for the titans to breach the wall. And it wasn't just one but two, so we had to completely abandon the area between Wall Maria and Wall Rose. Coincidences like that don't just happen; they're planned." With the table still silent, I regretted even bringing the topic up, but it needed to be mentioned; someone needed to state there was a reason for the drill. I didn't know Annie's story nor the reason for her passive attitude, but the girl needed to face the truth.
"Cadet Varlen!"
Craning my neck around, the others did the same, wondering who and where my name was being called from. Other cadets within the hall whispered back and forth, some searching for me while I continued eating.
"EMALINA VARLEN!"
"Oh dear god..." I whispered. "What the hell is going on?!"
The doors leading into the hall burst open, bashing against the stone, causing an echo and reverberated against the entire Mess Hall. Several individuals gasped but the entire cadets fell silent as Dita Ness clutched the door handle, gasping, his face beat red, eyes searching across the wooden tables. Dropping the utensils, I leapt from my seat at the table, my voice now echoing across the hall. "Dita!"
Running to his side, I touched his shoulder and bent down, watching as the man breathed in deeply before standing straight. "Emalina! Thank god I found you!"
"Dita, what's going on?!" At this point, all the cadets stopped eating, their focus on the two of us, questioning the commotion. The people at my table stood, watching as my focus was on Annamarie's assistant, the Team Leader for his own squad, but focused on working with the stables.
"I need your help! Annamarie is away with the other Scouts out on their training, but...but...!" Holding a finger, the man took a few more seconds to catch his breath, the redness visibly decreasing in his cheeks. "Midnight's in labor!"
"WHAT?!" My screech echoed across the stone hall, several individuals covering her ears. At hearing the tone of my voice, Jean and Marco quickly moved from the table to my side, watching my frantic expression. Taking a deep breath, I shrieked, "How?! She's not due for another few weeks!"
"As if I know! I thought she was showing signs of labor earlier, but it was nothing! I've checked on her throughout the day, and over the last hour she's been restless and has been counting. You know she doesn't do that. We need you, Emalina! Annamarie's the one who assists with the births, but she's not here!"
"DITA! Calm down, take a deep breath, everything will be alright. Now, are you calm?" I asked slowly and the man nodded. "Good, this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna help Midnight give birth and make sure the foal is healthy. Alright?"
"A-Alright."
"Now, you know I have the experience so this is what we're going to do: I'm going to assist with the birth and you're going to get what we need. Capiche?" Dita nodded in agreement, his shoulders losing tension as they sagged in relief. "Now, let's go help birth a foal." Running off ahead of me, I looked towards Jean and Marco, finally noticing there was a larger crowd around me, all staring intently, wondering what my actions would be next.
"Emalina, are you really going to assist with a birth?" Christa peered around Ymir, her eyes glistening with wonder, and as her first question was asked, I was bombarded by others.
"You've helped to birth a horse before?!"
"You can really do that?"
"That just sounds nasty."
"Ymir!"
Groaning, I stepped up and quickly said, "Guys look, this is really serious so I'll answer any questions later. You're welcome to watch but we need to go!" Following closely behind, we maneuvered through the winding hallways until we found ourselves outside and I rushed towards the stables, Jean the only one able to keep up with my speed. Moving through the stalls, I found Dita at the end, stall open as he petted Midnight along her snout.
"Dita? How is she?"
"She seems pretty calm now, but was restless when I got here."
"Ok. Let's see..." Looking around her current pen, I decided a change needed to happen. "First thing's first we need to move her, this pen's way too small." Opening the birthing stall across from the pen Midnight was already in, I inspected and determined it was clean enough, as we were possibly running out of time. "Dita, I need you to get as much hay as you can. The floor needs to be covered and there needs to be enough protection for the foal against the stone." Looking towards my friends, they were watching me intently as I asked, "Does anyone want to help? If so, please go with Dita and grab as much hay, please!" Reiner, Bertholdt, Christa and Ymir nodded before following the Team Leader. Walking towards the storage, I grabbed two clean buckets, handing them to Mina and Thomas. "Both of you, please take these around the stable to the well. Rinse the bucket first and fill it with as much water as you can."
"Of course!" Mina said as she and Thomas left.
Glancing back into the birthing stall, I felt a hand on my shoulder as Jean's voice soothed my hair. "Ema, is everything gonna be alright?"
"I'm hoping so, that's why I'm taking extra precautions. Horses obviously give birth in the wild on their own, but Midnight...she's a tough one." Dita and the others brought in several wheelbarrows and we all packed the floor with hay. When Mina and Thomas came back, I clipped a bucket against the wall, tall enough for Midnight and then one on the floor just in case.
My chest heaved to and fro, watching my friends assist with the unexpected situation; hell, even Annie was there, hands full of hay as she passed some between Jean and Reiner. The tapping of boots caught my attention and I saw Eren, Mikasa and Armin making their way towards me. "Emalina, we heard the commotion from the other cadets. What's going on?" Armin asked as they neared.
"One of the mares has gone into early labor and I'm the only one who can help." With the floor covered in every inch, I asked the cadets to take a few steps back and grabbed a lead rope, walking into Midnight's pen, speaking softly. "Hey they Midnight. Goodness, you're so pretty, aren't you?" Leveling my hand with her nose, I allowed to horse to remember my scent as her ears perked forward, her memory of me coming back. Tackling the rope to her harness, I gently pulled the mare out of her stall and into the much larger one, her hooves clanking against the cobblestone.
Music to my ears, I thought happily.
Removing the rope and harness, I placed the items on a hook outside the door, which was left open, peering eyes observing my moves. Grabbing her tail, I turned to Dita. "Hey, hand me the cloth wraps from the storage." Once he did so, I began braiding the tail when Marco's voice filled the silence.
"What're you doing that for, Ema?"
"I'm braiding her tail and will wrap it in cloth. This helps so her tail won't cause any possible complications." With the tail braided, I tenderly folded it in half and wrapped it in cloth, tying it firmly, but not too tightly. Walking around Midnight, I backed away when she moved around, her hooves scratching at the hay before walking around some more. As she stopped, I raised her tail and inspected her vulva. "Yep, she should be going into labor pretty soon."
"How can you tell? Isn't it the same when women give birth?" Reiner asked.
I couldn't help but chuckle at his innocent ignorance. "No, not really Reiner. Birth in general comes in several stages for most mammals. For horses, it begins several days prior. Her utter begins filling with milk, her teats begin to secrete liquid to prepare so the foal can drink, and the mare's vulva will loosen and become relaxed, allowing room for the baby to move through." Seeing the redness appear on all the male faces, even Dita's, Emalina couldn't help but shake her head. "Seriously? What're you guys gonna do once you marry and your wives goes into labor?"
None answered, which I didn't expect them to. Behind me, Midnight whinnied and neighed, her nose pushing against me as I petted her face, moving down towards her belly. Beneath my fingers, the foal thumped against my hand, just like a baby kicking within its mother's tummy. Looking at my friends, I couldn't help but smile. "You guys wanna feel? The baby is kicking."
Most shook their heads, even the females, but Jean, much to my surprise, took a tentative step forward, moving closer to my body. Grabbing his hand, I placed it where mine was, eyes watching his fingers, waiting, and waiting.
Thump.
Eyes widening, Jean smiled, wanting to feel more.
Thump, thump.
"Oh my god," he whispered. Looking at me he smiled even more. "Ema...this is...incredible."
Before I could reply, Midnight kicked her back legs and moved rapidly. I pulled Jean back towards the door; the mare knew what she needed and I wasn't going to prevent her from doing what was most comfortable. She rolled on the ground, quickly stood, nipped at her pregnant belly and rolled on the ground once more. Laying still, Midnight whinnied, her eyes seeking mine as I moved closer, kneeling and placed her head upon my lap, gently brushing the thick mane away from her face; I could feel all eyes on me, glancing through the open door or the feeding window, but I was where I was meant to be.
I was meant to be surrounded by horses.
"Ema...? Earlier you stated Midnight's a tough one. What'd you mean?"
Without glancing in his direction, I answered Jean's question with moisture collecting behind my eyes. "Midnight's...had two pregnancies before this one. Her first was a miscarriage and her second was a stillborn."
"A stillborn?" Eren's voice rang through when I finally glanced up.
"Yes, a stillborn is when a baby dies any time after twenty weeks but before birth. In Midnight's case, she carried her foal full term, but it was born dead. I'm...hoping she has a chance with this one."
When the last word left my lips, both ears perked when the sound of fluid popped, Ymir quickly making note. "Ohh, gross! There's liquid dripping from her...thingy!" The others sought what she was looking at as they made the same noise of protest. Midnight rose once more, pawing the floor with her hoof, the tone of distress releasing from her lips. Rushing towards the storage, I grabbed elbow length gloves, wiggling my hands and arms through each one, attempting to avoid touching anything other than Midnight and her baby.
"Not much longer!" I stated excitedly, as Dita stood close by the door, observing my techniques.
"I really owe you one, Emalina.," he said, his voice shuttering as he noticed the amount of liquid dripping from the back of Midnight's legs.
"You owe me nothing, Dita. This is what I was raised to do. Hey Sasha? Can you grab the hair tie from my back pocket and pull my hair up?"
"Sure thing!" Finding what she needed, I stood still as my friend pulled my hair tight and away from my face as the long locks were placed into a ponytail. I muttered a thanks as I walked towards Midnight.
"But...what're the gloves for...?" Bertholdt asked, his eyes somewhat sunken and concerned.
I smiled; it was sweet my friends were curious and asking questions. "There's always a chance the baby could be stuck in the womb, which I come into play. If needed, I'll reposition the foal so it can move through the birthing canal."
"You mean...you're gonna stick your hands up her...?" Sasha paled and I simply nodded.
"You are brave, Emalina," Connie stated, trying to avert his eyes, but curiosity still grabbed his attention. Armin and Eren agreed whereas Annie and Mikasa remained quiet, eyes speaking in lieu of their voices.
"It's not about being brave, Connie." Grabbing the mare's tail, I checked her vulva, seeing it more relaxed, a small tuff of black hair visible. "Think about it, I'm doing exactly what a doctor would be doing if a woman was delivering a human baby. Which I've done too, by the way."
"What?!" everyone exclaimed. A rampage of questions blew in my face but I raised a hand, not wanting to deal with that memory in my current situation.
"Nope, that's a separate story, leave it be."
Crying, Midnight tightened her legs, dropping down and rolled onto her side. Assuming correct that position was how she was going to give birth, I knelt to my knees as well, gently rubbing her flank, whispering soft words of encouragement, regardless that Midnight didn't understand my language. Muscles contracting, pushing and pulling, I could see the tuff of black hair being pushed forth and I smiled.
"Come on Midnight! That's a good girl!" But she stopped pushing, her cries growing louder as the beat of drums pounded in my head. Squeezing my eyes, I lowered my hand to her stomach, feeling the foal inside and I released a sigh when I could still sense it move. Sucking in as much air as my lungs allowed, I let it all go, muttering, "I'm sorry sweetie, but this is for your own good."
Easing my hand through the vulva, my friends squealed, disproving my actions as they muttered amongst themselves. For obvious reasons, it was a tight squeeze and I was able to push my arm in until I felt the issue.
"What's going on Emalina?!" Dita hollered in a nervous racket.
"It'll be ok guys. One of the front legs was bent, preventing Midnight was pushing her foal through." As gentle as I could, I unbent the baby leg and pulled it forward, so the foal was fully straight. Holding onto the baby, I guided Midnight to push the baby as she contracted her muscles with everything she had. "Come on Midnight!"
The others began chanting her name as well, their voices soft, but echoed throughout the stall. When the foal was close enough, I removed my arm just as the legs and snout nudged forward. Hands caged around the front legs just in case as Midnight was contracting and pressing with all her might to bring the foal she deserved into this world, the world we were frightened of, but was brightened by occasions such as this.
Gradually being released, the foal finally entered this world with a final gush of energy and liquid from its mother; falling into my arms, I softly placed the baby against the hay. Encased in the thick membrane, I tore through the lining, removing it from the foal's face down towards its back legs. Both my male and female friends gasped when the baby was released into its new world, their vision seeing a beautiful black and white foal lying upon the straw, blood covering its tiny body. All I could see was a tiny horse I needed to save, needing to give Midnight a chance to raise an offspring that was hers.
But the foal wasn't breathing.
"Dita! Give me a cloth!"
Hearing the urgency of my voice, I was given what I need as the cheering behind me died down. Whipping away any blood and liquid, my fingers focused on removing possible blockage from the nostrils. No visible traces could be seen before laying the foal completely on its stomach, legs stretched and head flat against the floor.
"Breathe!" I yelled, my anger taken against the air my lungs refused to accept. Refusing to accept the possible fate, I slammed my fist against the ground before subsiding any fury as my hand going against the feeble ribcage, gently pressing and rubbing in circles, craving its lungs to work, to give it life!
"Please..." I said weakly, voice wobbly, losing its strength. Midnight whinnied, her cry evident as she tried to turn her body around, the umbilical cord still connected, the afterbirth having not been shed. Not knowing what else to do, I raised my head, finding Jean's eyes through the crowd, his fingers tightened around the door when he noted my tears. Not knowing what else to do as the seconds ticked by, there was only one technique I could do.
It was something my father had done.
Sitting, I brushed my knuckles over the foal's cheek, my mouth twitching, unable to accept the visible truth. "Emalina..." Dita called from behind, but I ignored him. His voice reverberated, he knew the likelihood was low, but I would not allow Midnight to suffer.
And so, I sang.
"You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skies are gray.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you.
So please don't take,
My sunshine away."
I repeated the same verse several times, even when my knee was being nudged. Whatever was happening, I didn't want to cause a commotion with excitement or loud noises. I slowed my voice, allowing the silence of the room to intensify. I held my breath, fingers stilling against its ribcage, that was rising up and down. Gasping, I held some fingers close to its nose, the fresh wave of newborn breath fell across my skin.
"It's breathing..." I whispered. "It's breathing!"
Hoots and hollers erupted from my friends as the foal head began to move, her dark, black eyes blinking as she looked up at me and I smiled at the beautiful creature on my lap. Neighing, Midnight stood, breaking off the umbilical cord from her foal, kneeling her head down and licked her baby's face.
"Ema, what's the gender?"
Looking up at Jean, I smiled so wide my cheeks burned. Leaning down, I inspected the foal and said, "It's a girl." My friends cooed and awed as they cheered, giving different compliments one by one.
Reiner said, "You're unbelievably awesome Emalina!"
"None of us could've done that!" was Bertholdt's voice.
"That was so cool" cried Mina.
"There's so much more we didn't know about you!" stated Thomas.
"You really were meant to work with horses, huh?" said Christa.
"I guess you did do good," came Ymir.
Armin and Eren cheered as Mikasa actually spoke. "Beauty does exist in this world."
"My best friend's so cool!" Sasha jumped up and down as she and Connie hopped around. I could see Jean and Marco look at one another behind glancing at me. They already knew what I could do, but I guess I had never stated I've assisted with live births. People sure do learn something new every day.
Dita walked towards me and placed his hand on my shoulder, gripping it tightly. "Emalina Varlen, you are...a lifesaver. Be proud of where you came from." His words quieted my friends down, they knew about my village and how it was terrorized by the titans.
"I'm very proud, Dita. Thank you."
"I think...you should be the one to name the foal." Everyone behind the Team Leader agreed as I stared wide-eyed.
"Oh no sir, I couldn't possibly...!"
"Yes, Emalina, you deserve it. Though this is how you were raised, not many people can do what you have done today." Dita smiled and I knew the man would not take no for an answer.
"Oh goodness, a name?" Watching the sweet girl attempting to stand, she wobbled several times before standing to her full height. Midnight, stood close by, gently nudging her little girl here and there, cleaning off her face of any remaining mess from the birth. The foal was a beautiful ebony color, just like her mother, with spots of white across her body, occasional small tuffs of white brushed over her body, immediately making me think of the starry sky. "Galaxy," was whispered from my mouth. Looking at Dita, I stated the name again. "I want to name her Galaxy."
~ oOo ~
Point of View
Jean
What a day it has been, I thought. Running my hands through my hair, a groan released from my throat; the agitation was back despite the happiness I held earlier.
Staring emptily at my meal, my fingers twirled around the bowl of soup before moving my line of sight around the Mess Hall. It was fairly packed with the other cadets, some out in the training grounds some already in their rooms for the night. Annie and Armin sat across as we had discussed the drill that would begin the following morning; Emalina had been with us but was speaking with others as they continued to question about earlier that afternoon.
Having the opportunity to observe Emalina assist with the pregnant horse this afternoon was...unbelievable. From the moment the Scout Team leader stated the situation, she remained calm, cool and collected, knowing exactly what needed to be done. Hell, I had the chance to touch the horse's stomach and feel the baby before it was born. And then to see Emalina act and ensure the foal was breathing and lived? And some people have said that Christa is a goddess.
My gaze moved to find Emalina speaking with Eren and his friends.
Ema's more than a goddess. She's...the embodiment of perfection.
Marco and I remained by her side, helping where we could while the others left after some time. Emalina was adamant that it was better for the foal, Galaxy, to be exposed to less people until she was a few days old. There was more that needed to be done to ensure the birth for Midnight was safe and we waited patiently, following her back to her personal quarters to be given the chance to shower and change.
By the time we were all gathered in the Mess Hall, it was dinner, and this is where we had been for the last hour.
Ema, Armin, Annie and myself spent some time conversing about the drill, formation and other strategies we thought would benefit ourselves. When we reached a point all of us were confident, we finished our meal in silence; and here I was, my agitation growing by the second without a distraction to remove my mind from being brought back to this hell hole.
Trost District was my hometown and the place I was raised until leaving for the Military the year prior. Before, this used to be a place I could explore and feel at home, knowing my parents would be home each night as I fell asleep exhausted. Dreams were all I envisioned as a child, convinced I couldn't be touched, that I was indestructible and nothing could shatter my world.
Oh, how wrong I was.
"Son of a..." I mumbled, noticing my elbow knocked over my water mug as its contents dripped from the table and landed on my pants. Cursing, I patted my leg, knowing nothing would dry the material yet and I sighed, inwardly angry at my mistake.
"Is Jean Kirschtein here?"
Glancing at the door opening to the hall, I could see Emalina look at me than the door. Someone wanted her this afternoon and now me? What was going on? Standing, I moved quickly to the Garrison soldier stating my name. "Yes sir! I am he!
"Your mother is here to speak to you." My mother?
Wait...WHAT?!
The Garrison solider was right as my mother walked through the door and down the steps straight towards me. If my eyes could widen even more they would pop right out. "Jeanie-boy!" tentatively I stepped backwards, confusion and irritation wracking my brain as my mother touched my shoulder. "Jeanie-boy, why haven't you come home yet? Mrs. Wagner's little boy has already come home!" She sighed and shook her head. "You really are a problem child. Huh? Did you spill soup on yourself or something? You can be so clumsy at times." I slapped my mother's hand away as she bent to dab the wet material with her handkerchief.
"Stop that!" I yelled, eyes flaring before narrowing in her direction. My poor mother's face contorted in anguish, and for a split second, I already regretted my words.
"But, Jean..." she tried to state, though my head was already shaking. Her face, her voice, I couldn't endure; she needed to leave.
"It's fine! Just go home already!"
Shock crossed her face before her hands pulled several bright apples from her basket, placing them on the table. Seeing her generosity only ignited the irritation boiling my blood. "Then...These are for everyone –" she said cautiously.
My arm swept over the table, tossing the food to the ground, seething at the woman. How dare she barge in here like this! I'm not a fucking child anymore! "You don't need to do that!"
"Jeanie-boy!" Stepping back, my mother's body shook, the sudden realization as he son wanted nothing to do with her. But the woman did not know when to shut up and leave. "I-I know he's a problem child, but can everyone please be friends with him?" Digging through the basket again, she pulled forth a bento box as she muttered, "Oh, I almost forgot, Jeanie-boy, I brought your favorite."
"Just go home!" Pulling her arm to the top of the stairs, I shoved my mother through the hall doors and slammed them shut. Teeth grinding, my fingers were curled into fists so tightly I was fairly certain I would have crescent shaped cuts along my palms later that night. Controlling my breathing to a regular rhythm, the agitation wouldn't subside.
"You should be nicer to your mom, Jeanie-boy – ah, I mean Jean," Eren says calmly, standing straight from picking the apples from the floor. Moving to face the cadet, my eyes still narrowed, I opened my mouth to yell at the suicidal maniac when Emalina appeared in my peripherals, making her way up the stairs in my direction. Just seeing her beauty grace my vision could vanish the ill feelings coursing my being, engulfing my senses until the darkness momentarily vanished.
I closed my lips as she opened hers, a dangerous growl erupted from her mouth as she stated my name, her words laced with rage and a violence Emalina rarely exerted. "Jean Kirschtein!" Approaching my side, my female friend merely stood, her blue eyes darkening to a shade I'd never seen. I wanted to formulate a question, but something scolded my conscious to keep my lips tightly shut; typically, my conscious was right, and this moment was no different. It wasn't until Emalina moved with rapid speed as her hand caressed my cheek in a kiss of skin against skin. The electrical blow of her palm left behind a scorching sting as it reverberated against the stone hall, vibrating my ears, forcing my head to turn without permission.
"YOU...YOU IDIOT!"
~ oOo ~
So, for those who watched Hey Arnold, the episode where he sings to the sick horse is where I got the idea to sing to the foal as the technique Emalina's father used. I take no credit for that.
Please review and let me know what you thought.
Chocobocolina :3