There Is A Reason

by DragonGoddess629

The moment Emalina Varlen loses her parents when Shiganshina fell, she decides to join the military in order to become strong. There she meets Jean Kirschtein and instantly there's a connection between the two. But one wants to join the Military Police while the other the Survey Corps. How will these two fare if they choose different regiments?

9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Remember, I Protect Those I Love

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I was hit by writer's block and decided to take December off from all writing. But I'm back and very excited for this chapter, which took me forever to complete, I swear. I hope ya'll enjoy and please don't forget to comment!

Song for this chapter: "Star Sky" by Two Steps From Hell. Very instrumental.

Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, I only own Emalina and any other OC's. As of this chapter forward, I have changed the profile picture to something I thought really fir the essence of Jean and Emalina. The picture does not belong to me, I take no credit for it and hold no Copyright; I simply found it through Google Images.

~ oOo ~

Point of View

Jean

Almost three-years later and here we were, right before graduation. All the training, blood, sweat and tears – yes, even tears! – was about to come to an end. And yet, one week before the remaining cadets would discover who made the Top Ten, this is where we stood, underneath the burning sun in the last training sessions for hand-to-hand combat.

Except, Emalina and I were on the sidelines watching Eren and Reiner deciding they could kick Annie's butt for slacking off.

We scoffed, knowing that Annie would beat them to a pulp but continued to watch anyways. Three years ago, I would've mocked those taking this particular training seriously, but then the day occurred when Emalina received the thick scar on her temple and how she stated there were other monsters in the world than the titans. Which got me to thinking; if I'll be joining the Military Police, I might need to strengthen my core and fighting techniques, as I would most likely be using those more than my skills to kill any titans.

But taking a break to watch Eren and Reiner have their butts kicked, and to literally be flipped upside down, had me chuckling before Emalina pulled me back to our normal position. Trekking through the other cadets, mainly those who were goofing around, just as Shadis grabbed Connie and Sasha by the head for play fighting, we moved to the back from the other Cadets and resumed. Pulling the wooden dagger from my pocket, I couldn't help but chuckle and grin at seeing Eren Jaeger getting his ass kicked.

"And pray, what're you laughing at now, Jean?" Emalina called from her spot several feet away.

"I just find it hilarious that Eren was defeated by a girl, haha." Glancing up at her, my body tensed at Emalina's crossed arms and narrowed expression. Ohh...shit, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"Oh really now? You find it funny he was beaten by a girl?"

"I-I well...not necessarily a girl, no, m-more that he thought he could fight Annie and win?" Way to go Jean, keep adding fuel to the fire, you're not gonna get burned. Stepping closer, Emalina dropped her arms, this time, laughter fell from her lips as she met my gaze; her eyes were burning with unbridled passion. I was doomed, my death certain.

Except, my death was quicker than I anticipated.

Grasping the dagger from my hand, Emalina suddenly kicked my leg out from underneath, causing my frame to fall backwards against the hard earth. Dust fluttered around my body as I stared in a daze into the blue sky above me. Had that, just happened? Watching as my friend threw the wooden toy in the air several times, she grinned as I moved to stand.

"Oops, sorry Jean. Looks like you just got your ass kicked by a girl," she mocked, an evil smile forming in her lips.

"Heh, alright, you made your point Ema, I shouldn't have said that."

Cocking a hand against her hip, she stopped tossing the blade and began twisting it between her fingers, her devilish appearance doing nothing but causing my heart to race and heat my skin. "Are you sure? Because, heh, I'm not the only female cadet here who could kick your ass," she chuckled, her gentle smile replacing the grin.

Nevertheless, my eyes diverted towards the only other female I felt could truly kick my ass that was on the same level as Emalina – Mikasa Ackerman; well, maybe Annie, but even I knew not to cross her. Standing next to Armin, Mikasa held the same neutral expression as she watched her male friend spar with Mina. "Trust me, Ema, I know you're not – " but was not able to finish my statement. As I glanced towards her, Ema's eyes darkened before she dropped the knife.

And tackled me.

Right back onto the ground, I fell flat as her body landed against mine, her wrists holding my hands above my head. "Why, Jean. Why?" Emalina questioned, face flushed, chest quickly heaving up and down.

"Why what, Ema?" I had no idea what she was asking.

"What you just – ! Where you were just look...!" Sighing, she removed herself and knelt in the dirt, rubbing her chin. "Never mind, just forget it. Sorry," she added, with a small smile. As she did so, Emalina averted her eyes with enough inclination I could assume where, or what, more precisely, grasped her attention: Mikasa.

Oh shit... I couldn't help but think. "So, that's how you wanna play?" I tauntingly asked, with my own grin.

She countered, not understanding as she rolled her gaze back to mine. "Play what?"

So, I tackled her.

Surprisingly, I anticipated a scream, anger in her movements, or, anything other than the beautiful giggle escaping her sculpted lips. Rolling in the dirt, we grasped limbs, forcing our bodies into various angles to gain the upper hand, to claim victory in this fight. Emalina wouldn't succumb, but then again, neither would I. We were training as soldiers, taught every day to fight until the end; whatever the end would be, that is.

Grunting, with beads of sweat dripping from our foreheads, we found ourselves standing back on our feet, fists raised in defense, ready to strike. Smiles on both our faces, we chuckled at the sight of each other. Clothes disheveled and dust covering our clammy skin, I was surprised we were still going. Inhaling, I asked, "Ready to give in?"

"Against you, Jean? Never," she laughed. And then she did something I wasn't expecting. Removing her jacket, Emalina haphazardly threw the item towards the wooden dagger, flexing her arms and stretching the limbs above her head. Normally, Emalina would wear a dark blue, short-sleeved shirt underneath her uniform jacket, but today? Oh no, today, Emalina changed attire and was wearing a black, thin strapped shirt, conveniently fitting the tautness of her muscled frame. My eyes widening on their own accord; I swiftly swallowed, coughing several times as I failed miserably in looking away; Emalina knew what she was doing.

And damn it all, her nasty trick was working.

Heh, two can play this game.

Pulling the jacket from my shoulders, I tossed mine over to hers and enjoyed the change in expression she wore from triumphant to one of bewilderment. Now, I still wore my button-up shirt, yet I firmly held her gaze as I folded the cuffs on my sleeves to the elbow. And I thought she caught me by surprise! I couldn't help but ponder as Emalina shifted on her feet, folding her arms tightly across her chest, heat rising to her cheeks, eyes becoming cloudy and enlarged.

Copying her movements, I folded my arms and waited.

And waited; neither of us moving.

But then Emalina dropped her expression and released a soft laugh. Raising her hands in defeat, she caved. "Alright, alright, you win. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," I answered, following her towards our jackets. Reaching down first, she bent to grasp the collar as I stepped closer. Disregarding the distance between us, Emalina clenched her fist, but then propelled the wooden knife in my direction and I quickly captured the object, lowering my gaze from her in the moment she tackled me once again to the ground. Laughing uncontrollably, we once more rolled around, fighting to win, to prove something we already knew existed. I knew she was testing me, fighting to demonstrate the female cadets were badass and could kick my ass, or any other male, anytime, anywhere.

I also knew she was fighting because my sight happened to glance at Mikasa before being tackled the first time.

Emalina was upset. But I wasn't sure if I should be thrilled with the assumption she was jealous or disappointed in myself in thinking she was.

"You just don't know when to quit, do you, Ema?" Rolling once more, she landed on her back as I grasped her wrists in each hand, pinning them to her side.

Grinning her devilish smile – should I be enjoying that? – Emalina batted her eyelashes as she jolted her knee upwards, ramming me close enough to my dick that I jerked, anticipating to be hit when she used the opportunity to push me aside. Straddling my waist with the wooden knife to my throat, the other hand held my wrists, just as she'd done at the beginning of our little altercation.

Smirking, she'd won. We could still fight, but I knew Emalina bested me, and I needed to honor her victory. "On the contrary, Mr. Kirschtein, I do know when to quit." Leaning forward, she brushed her chest against mine as her heated breath phased my ear, her voice like singing angels, lulling me to a faraway land where it was just us. "But sometimes? I like a challenge." Grinning as she pulled back, my mouth was shut, unable to say a word. Forget that she'd just won, how could I speak with our current position? The close proximity of our bodies?

Or how about the way she ground her pelvis into my ever-growing erection?

Noticing my gaze, Emalina realized that closeness of our faces, how her lips were mere centimeters away from mine, the way her breasts pressed into mine and, let's not forget the way she switched her sight from said lips up towards my eyes. Gulping at the same time as she, I muttered, "I...E-Emalina..." Since the night we were interrupted a few weeks back, we found ourselves in moments such as this; our bodies pulled together and faces inches from the other. But neither one pushed forward to seal the deal.

"O-Oh Jean, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she replied, quickly moving to her feet and grasping my hand, pulling me to mine. Removing as much dirt as we could from our clothing and, once we grabbed the jackets, our fingers grazed the other. Pulling the damned things on, Emalina leaned over and grasped the knife from the ground, studying it then handed it to me. "You're strong..." she said, not looking in my direction as my head lifted at her voice. "You fight well, you're strategic and can anticipate the moves of your appointment." Clasping my shoulder before leaning her head against it, Emalina sighed. Out of contentment? Sadness? "You'll graduate within the Top Ten Jean, I know this."

"What about you thought, Ema? You have those qualities, if not more. If any of the remaining cadets will make the Top Ten, it's definitely you," I said.

"Tch, maybe," she offered, her voice and attention focused elsewhere, I could tell. "Thing is, we both know I don't want to join the MP's." Thrusting hands in her back pockets, Emalina walked off; I could feel her slipping away.

"Why though?" It's true. We'd never discussed this before as we both avoided the subject, yet with only a week left, these were probably the last few days we had left in each other's presence. I needed to uncover what regiment she planned on joining before graduation.

Taking a deep breath, she stopped walking and switched to drawing patterns in the dirt with her boot. "Because..." Exhaling, she finally glanced at me. "Because the MP's don't protect everyone within the walls. They may handle dirtier crimes outside the inner wall, but let's face it, the Military Police solely focus on those who can afford to live within Wall Sina. I can't..." She shook her head. "I can't protect those I care for if I'm in the inner wall. That's not...that's not how I want to protect people..."

"But..." Taking a few steps towards her, I pocketed the wooden toy, gently taking her hands in mine when I grew close. "But Marco will be there, I will be there. You can protect us and we – we can protect you."

"J-Jean..."

"Emalina, please." Only her. Only this woman could have me want to drop to my knees and beg. Didn't she understand? Didn't she realize? "We...there's only one week left before we graduate and choose our regiment. I don't – I can't lose you, Emalina."

Quickly removing the tear from her cheek before it could fall, she sighed, but her fingers tightened around mine. "And I can't lose you either, Jean."

"ALL CADETS! Training's over, bring it in!"

Dropping our hands, I rubbed my neck as she held her fingers close to her mouth. I'd made my decision a few weeks prior, but...there was still a part of me wanting, needing to join the Military Police. Emalina needed to enlist as well. She needed to stay by my side, as well as Marco's; she needed to be kept her safe. I needed to know Emalina would always have a roof over her head, a meal on her table for every meal, and always, always a place to call home. For so long, I'd thought being a member of the MP's meant I could obtain all of that. And as confused as I was, there was a piece of me that would still follow Emalina, be it in the Military Police or not. Even the Scout's.

I would follow that woman to the end of our days, if it meant protecting her and that smile.

~ oOo ~

Point of View

Shadis

"And so it begins." The commander of the Cadet Corp explained, watching over the remaining trainees install their ODM gear, readying themselves for the final exam of their Cadet training.

The other veteran soldiers dedicating their time to train and teach the new recruits surrounded myself and nodded. With the 104th Cadet Corp being the first after Wall Maria was lost, the veterans had no idea what to expect, what the trainees would be after such a tragedy shook their nation. Of the original three-hundred cadets, the two-hundred and eighteen remaining stood before us, and we knew all would pass and graduate in a few days. And yet, each graduating class needs the Top Ten recruits, those exceedingly individuals who have proven they have the dexterity, the aptitude and the mindset to join the Military Police.

Never before had I seen candidates for the Top Ten as diverse as this group, but these individuals have pressed their time for training, and their hearts remain true to become even stronger soldiers after they leave here.

Flipping through the sheets of every cadet, my finger landed on the bulkiest of them all.

Reiner Braun: A muscled cadet who gains the attention of those around him. Has the constitution of a grass-fed ox, and yet, he's respected by his comrades.

Armin Arlert: Soldiers weak as can be, seems to be built like a daffodil. However, academically? The cadet's a genius. He's able to induce several strategic maneuvers with little information as possible.

Annie Leonhart: The girl is gifted with the sword, I'll give her that. Yet she doesn't exactly play well with others. Quiet and reserved, but deadly in a one-on-one combat scenario.

Bertholdt Hoover: Tallest cadet I've seen with heaps of talent, but is too mild mannered. Maneuvers his tall frame with ease when using ODM. Would rather talk a situation down than take action.

Sasha Blouse: The girl is a hunter and uses those skills to her advantage. Unusually fine instincts, leading her to detect the target with ease, though rarely shares the info with her teammates.

Connie Springer: The shrimp has had me on edge since day one, but he is agile on the switchbacks. Can navigate various terrain exceedingly well, but he's a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.

Mikasa Ackerman: A model cadet who excels in everything. In fact, it's not an overstatement to call the girl a genius. But her strength in physical abilities is downgraded when near Eren Jaeger. Overly protective and tends to push all else aside for the boy.

Eren Jaeger: Cadet's a lackluster in the classroom, but is marginally better in the field. Proves he can try and pass any technique or challenge. The boy has potential to be a soldier, but only because he's driven by a sense of purpose that's almost terrifying.

Marco Bodt: A cadet with his head in the clouds, desires to join the MP's in order to serve the King. Fairly adequate in and out of the classroom, but his strength with ODM has increased over his training, most likely from the individuals he's befriended.

Jean Kirschtein: Head of the class regarding the ODM gear, has been since day one. Grasps the key strengths in using the machine effectively to benefit himself in combat. But is also an insufferable smartass with a hair-triggered temper that can only be soothed by one individual.

And finally.

Emalina Varlen: The only other cadet that rivals Jaeger for a sense of purpose. Hers? To protect those around her, in any way she can to prevent further death. The girl is a genius on par with Arlert and Ackerman. Her physical strength is close enough to that of Leonhart, but what she makes up for is stamina; the girl does not give in. She's level-headed, perceptive, views all angles of a situation before executing a decision, a decision she's usually correct on. She's unique in that she can sense what she cannot see, almost as if she has the same intuitional abilities as Braus and is, by far, the most talented individual I have ever witnessed when it comes to equestrians. And if there is anything she cannot see or doesn't know, she seeks the answer, always learning, always desiring to become stronger.

Looking at the other veteran soldiers, they all nodded their heads as I stepped forward, gaining the attention of the cadets ready to begin their exams. Their final exams to prove what they have learned over the past three years. For the most part, we have already decided who would make the Top Ten, but there may be a soldier who might surprise us in the end. All I know is that I have pushed their asses, and regardless, they would become strong soldiers in whichever regiment they decided to join in the coming days.

"Listen up you maggots! The final exam of your cadet training is about to begin!"

~ oOo ~

Point of View

Jean

What a day it had been.

After the Commander gathered us once the final training for hand-to-hand combat was completed – thankfully, considering the situation Emalina and I found ourselves in – we resumed the remaining exams we had left, mainly for the classroom academics we suffered through for three years. And finally, finally, we were done, allowed to relax until dinner, which is where I found myself now, with my best friends by my side.

There was an abundance of chatter surrounding us in the hall as I spoke with a fellow cadet, who was questioning my abilities with the ODM gear. Emalina and Marco sat quietly off to the side, listening in on the discussion whilst holding there own conversation here and there. The male sitting across from me suddenly asked, "But how do you do it Jean? Being swift and efficient with the gear?"

"Oh come on man! It's simple. Instead of blaring the gas when you accelerate, you use short bursts and let your momentum do the work for you."

"Still, that's pretty advanced man," the male stated.

"Duh," I state arrogantly. "That's why it's called a sixth sense, especially for the finer points of your gear. You gotta do the strut if you wanna make the cut. The MP's only recruit the best." Retracting my hand from the table, I quickly glanced at Emalina who smirked as she continued eating her meal. The damn woman slapped me! "Tch, what the hell Ema?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Stop being an arrogant ass, Jean. The attitude doesn't look good on you."

"Yes ma'am," I muttered, biting into my bread, the table erupted into laughter as my cheeks grew pink. Once they quieted down, to my left, Marco opened his mouth to speak.

"Speaking of the MP's...man, that'd be amazing! Working within a stone's throw of the king? No greater honor than that," my male friend sighed.

"Shut up Marco!" I slapped the back of his head, causing my friend to jerk his mug against his chin, water spilling all over his face. "We're not children, you can stop the misty-eyed BS! Honor doesn't have any damn part of it. You just want a nice cushy job in the interior playing glorified sentry!"

"Jean Kirschtein!" Emalina yelled, her amusement and humor from a moment ago now lost. Her tone sharp as our glances met.

"T-That's not true! That's not me at all!" Marco countered, wanting to ensure people saw him as the man he truly was.

Laying a hand over his, Emalina handed him the handkerchief he'd given her long ago, giving him the chance to clean his face. "Marco, sweetie, we don't see you like that. Jean's just...being himself, you know that," she shot me another look. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya Ema, I thought. "You've wanted to serve the King since day one, and nothing's gonna stop you from achieving that." Nodding his head in thanks, Marco cleaned the liquid from his face as I watched their interaction.

Yeah, I knew I was being an ass, but looking at my male friend, we both nodded, knowing everything was alright between us. He knew I never truly meant any of what was said and he understood how difficult I could be. Oh, did he and Emalina know how stubborn and difficult I could most definitely be.

"I wonder how much different the interior is compared to here?" the male cadet asked, eyes lost in the clouds as he wondered and daydreamed.

"Who knows," Emalina stated. "I've never been, but my father was there a few times."

"Oh, really?" Marco questioned.

"Sadly," she replied. "We bred horses for all the regiments, which you know, but he occasionally traveled to the inner wall to discuss business with the Commander of the Military Police. Whenever he came back, he would always tell me to stay outside Wall Sina, that...something about their snooty attitude polluting the people."

"Were they bad people?" the male asked.

"From my understanding, no? I can't say for sure, I never went with him. All I was told was those living within the inner ring held a higher status, and looked down on those living within the other walls. Tch, god knows what they think of those living in Wall Rose since we lost Wall Maria."

"And you're sure you wanna join the MP's Jean?" the cadet asked me one more time.

"Damn straight. That cushy seat in the interior is calling my name," I grinned, but it caused Emalina to laugh into her drink and for Marco to shake his head.

"Tch, listen to you guys. Interior? Five years ago, this was part of it." Turning to our right, fucking Jaeger spoke from his mouth as he drank from his mug.

Our table grew quiet. Emalina muttered my name under her breath while Marco dropped his head, knowing exactly where this was headed. Raising an eyebrow, I didn't care if my tone was ugly. "You got a point to make, friend? I'm right here."

"Poor Jean, so misguided. And besides, I don't think your head will fit in the interior anyway," Eren stated calmly, though their lay a poisonous tint to his words.

The entire Hall erupted into silent laughter; most individuals attempted in withholding what they could, but you could hear their snickers and chuckles. Hell, Reiner was seated next to Armin and spewed his drink onto the boy's hair from his nose, causing the blonde to contest his disgust. Ignoring the entire room, I glared at the suicidal maniac. "Very funny."

"Seems a little backwards, to me. You've spent the past three-years fine-tuning you killing skills just so you'll be station somewhere you'll never see one titan." Turning in his seat, Eren narrowed his glare. "Seems like such a waste."

"You'd rather I was good at getting killed? Thank you, but I'll pass. Better to play the system than get gnawed on."

Standing to his feet, Eren clenched his fists as I met him halfway. "You son of a bitch!"

"Bring it on you little bastard!"

"Eren, please! Stop it!" Armin stated loudly, wanting his friend to stop. As he did, Mikasa stood and grasped Eren's hand while Emalina took hold of my shoulder, slightly pulling me away from the one human I wanted to bet into a pulp.

"Gentlemen, please," Mikasa state eagerly. Turning towards Emalina, the two shared a look, which I could only guess meant they wanted to separate us males, knowing this would happen. My friend pulled me towards my seat, but I'd had enough.

Shoving Emalina's hand away, I reached for Eren and tightly clenched the front of his shirt, holding him within a fist throw of space. "You think you can judge me?!"

"You'll rip my shirt!" fucking Jaeger complained.

"Jean!"

"I don't give a damn about your shirt! You fucking piss me off!"

"What? Are you crazy?!" Moving as if to sock me in the face, Eren held a hand under my chin as he kicked my leg out from under me. Next thing, I'm flat on my back, groaning as I hold the side of my head.

"Ahh, damnit! What – the hell was that move?!" I yelled.

"A little something I picked up this afternoon while you were busy with your thumb up your ass. You honestly believe the Military Police is your ticket to the good life? You're not a soldier, you're a fucking joke."

"That's enough!" Moving to stand between in front of me, Emalina shoved Eren away as he nearly fell onto his ass; she was fuming with anger, and I knew the brawl did nothing but agitate her irritation.

"You can't be serious, Emalina. You're sticking up for Jean, again?" Eren groaned.

"I will always stick up for my friend, Eren Jaeger. But what I don't get is how your mother raised you, because mine raised me to respect others and their opinions. Something you clearly don't comprehend." Emalina muttered lowly, venomously. She was growling, teeth clenched tightly her face was shaking.

The male cadet took a step forward, though Emalina did not back down. "Don't you dare talk about my mother!"

"Make me, I fucking dare you."

"You son of a...!"

"You see, Eren Jaeger, here's the thing," Emalina said calmly, too calm, in fact. "You have your opinion on which regiment to join, and Jean has his. Has he been an ass all night about it?" She shot a glance behind me as I stood to my feet. "Mmm, probably, but that's Jean. You, on the other hand – "

"Because he's wrong, and if you can't see that – " And she slapped him, she fucking slapped Jaeger!

Those in the Hall gasped, the silence falling even quieter than before. Mikasa stared Emalina down, and if looks could truly kill, this would take the prize. But Emalina didn't notice, her attention fixated on Eren, who slowly turned his face back towards her. "I don't care if you think he's wrong, Jaeger. Jean has the right to state his own opinions and if he wants to join the Military Police, then by god, just leave him be!"

"...why do you care, Emalina? You're one to talk, seeing as you still can't admit which regiment you're joining. You're just like him: a joke."

"Ohh ho ho, is that what you think? The only joke I see is you, Eren. You, who always has to put anyone down if they even mention joining a regiment outside the Scouts. You think your path and your decisions are the only correct ones in this world and that infuriates me. Well let me tell you something, Eren Jaeger." Stepping forward, she placed a finger against his chest, poking the man in the same spot, her eyes narrowed in disgust. "You're gonna have a hell of a time in the presence of Commander Erwin or Captain Levi with your righteous egotism and that pathetic attitude, because they're gonna eat you alive."

"At least I don't lie. Stop acting as if you know the Scout members personally."

"Considering I lived with them for two years after Wall Maria fell? Um...yeah, I'd say I know the Scouts fairly well." Turning just as Eren realized Emalina should've been his friend all along, she clutched my sleeve, pulling me towards the door, not before eyeing Marco to follow as well. Turning towards Eren one last time, she smiled wickedly, smugly stating, "Keep this up Eren and you'll die out there." And yet, just as she reached for the door handle to leave the room, the door opened and Shadis appeared on the other side, a concerned and annoyed expression on his face.

"And where do you think you're going, Varlen?"

"Outside, sir. It's a little hot in here and I thought the evening breeze would do some good." She was obviously lying and Shadis knew she was.

"Fine, you may go. Remember your curfew, cadets."

"Yes sir," we replied, leaving through the door just as he asked what the ruckus he heard was about. I'm not sure if I wanted to know what was said as there were muffles of laughter and the Commander seemed fairly repulsed. As the distance grew from our fast pace walking, I could no longer hear what was being said and could only focus on where she was taking me.

"We're going to the lake, aren't we?" I asked.

Looping her arm through mine and Marco's, the scowl she held was replaced with a glorious smile. "Yes, we're going to the lake."

"Whatever for, Ema?" my freckled friend wanted to know, her smile becoming contagious.

"You'll see."

And so, we walked. It was a fair distance to where we were headed, but having trekked the path hundreds of times, we arrived sooner than expected. As the three of us stood on the outcrop overlooking the glistening water in the moonlight, I was struck by the beauty hidden within a world of monstrosity. Though the beauty of this world was magnificent, nothing could compare to the woman by my side, whose arm still looped through mine, her body molding into my frame. This would most likely be the last time we would see this sight, a place where tears had fallen, laughter erupted and trust was formed.

Fuck, this might be the last time the three of us would be together like this.

Marco was determined on joining the MP's, leading me to believe I had as well. But then, Emalina Varlen entered my life, and I realized the Military Police wouldn't be the same. She was my sun in the morning and my star at night, guiding me each day. I was a better person, stronger in more ways than imagined. Without her, my life would be meaningless.

"So," her voice interrupted my thoughts as she continued to gaze into the distance. "In the next few days, we'll learn who made the Top Ten, and then..." her voice grew quiet. "...we'll be given the chance to choose our regiment."

"That we will," Marco answered, he, too, sensing the sadness hidden within her peaceful demeanor.

"I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I'd like one last night of fun. Just a random night of something spontaneous."

"Something random?" he asked and she nodded quickly.

"Assuming we'll be breaking curfew, what'd you have in mind?" I questioned, my curiosity had risen.

Removing herself from my side, Emalina walked to the edge, kneeling down, running her fingers through the silent water, casting ripples across the gentle surface. Standing, she shook her hand of droplets and widened her smile. "Wait right here, I'll show you." Removing herself from our side, she trekked towards the trees, hiding from our view as I shared a look at Marco. Shrugging our shoulders, we waited a few moments as the rustling of trees had our eyes widen. Walking out from the shadows, Emalina carried her clothing and dropped the pile by our feet, with only her underwear and bra covering her near naked body.

Creamy skin with a slight tan and hair that had once been cut to her shoulders, now fell against the gorgeous length of her back. Taking a few steps back, Marco and I wanted to move our eyes away, but we were captivated; Marco from her boldness, and me from the desire to remove the remaining pieces of fabric barely covering what lay hidden. "I said something spontaneous, didn't I? We've never had a night swim, so here we go!"

As if she would wait for us to say anything, Emalina ran right on through, jumping from the edge and cannonballing straight into the water. Surfacing several seconds later, she flipped her hair, running her hands along strands caught against her face. Seeking us out, she motioned for us to join. "The water feels great! Come on!"

Laughing nervously, Marco swallowed and asked, "Are we really going to do this Jean?"

My ears were in his direction but my eyes were on her. Floating in the darkened water, she winked and then bit her lip. God dammit woman, don't temp me! "I don't know if you will, but I am." Stripping from my clothing, not caring who was watching – though the longing gaze from Emalina as I dropped my pants was very much appreciated – I stood in naught but my boxers and jumped in as well, following the girl of my dreams.

Water splashed in my face as soon as I surfaced, my friend giggling uncontrollably as I splashed her back. Rotating to the one dry individual remaining on land, Emalina presented Marco her best puppy-eyes as I smirked. Sighing, Marco stripped as well, finding his way into the water. Just as I, my freckled friend would do anything for Emalina – I mean, who wouldn't?

I couldn't even say how long we stayed past curfew, but who the fuck cares, we were graduating within a few days. Swimming and relaxing was how we spent our time; no worries were found on our faces and I could tell Emalina was forgetting her conversation with Eren. Destroying the memory, it didn't bode well to remember the negativity, but I would not forget Emalina's smile as she put that suicidal maniac in his place. Right now, we were to enjoy the remaining time we were stationed as cadets.

By the time we decided it was time to head back, the moon shone brightly high in the sky. Marco disappeared for a few as he swam laps, saying he wanted to cool off the adrenaline from our activities, leaving Emalina and myself treading water, moving towards the shoreline to stand on our feet against the sand.

She remained in my arms, my muscles pulling her frame closer as her gentle hands fell against my chest. And that's where we remained for several minutes. Hours? Time seemed endless as I dazed into her beauty. The tip of her head grazed my chin, and as I lifted her face towards mine, we were once again lost, forever consumed, but never allowed to divulge in our sin of gluttony. For when Marco returned, we resumed our casual attire and stealthily made our way back towards the appropriate dorms, wishing the other a pleasant evening.

The only way my evening would be pleasant is if Emalina slept peacefully within my arms. Sighing, I feared that at this rate, it would never come true. It seemed I would truly join the Military Police, and she would join another regiment, leaving me behind in the dust.

~ oOo ~

Point of View

Emalina

Several days later...

"Do you have heart?!"

"Sir!"

Having traveled from the training grounds to Headquarters in Trost District, the remaining cadets stood proud and strong, arms laced behind our backs as we waited for the names to be called for those who would graduate, and those who would make the Top Ten. Commander Shadis stood before us, but it was a Veteran soldier who spoke with authority to ensure we, after three long years, still bared our bravery to serve within the military.

"As of this moment, you have three options open to you, choose wisely! The Garrison Regiment, whose job is to reinforce the walls; the Scout Regiment, who rides out into titan territory to take back what was once ours; and finally, the Military Police Regiment, maintaining law and under direct orders from his Royal Majesty."

Murmur escaped across the cadets, excitement running through the crowd like wild fire. This is what most cadets had been waiting for all these years; wanting to graduate, but wanting to ensure they became one of the strongest to gain access inside Wall Sina and join the MP's. From my position, I could see Marco and Jean within several rows ahead of me, their backs straight and firm with hardened muscles as they waited somewhat patiently; Marco more so than Jean.

"And now, the moment I present those who trained the hardest throughout the last three years. These individuals have not only proven their courage, but their determination. Their strength ranks the highest within the entire 104th Cadet Corp, their skills and techniques flawless, their attacks precise, and their blades sharp. Hear me now, for I list the names of those that have been chosen to graduate, to leave as Cadets with honor, as they have been chosen for the Top Ten!"

"Sasha Braus!"

"Connie Springer!"

"Marco Bodt!"

"Jean Kirschtein!"

"Eren Jaeger!"

"Annie Leonhart!"

"Bertholdt Hoover!"

"Reiner Braun!"

"Mikasa Ackerman!"

All those who had been called removed themselves from the group, making their way towards the front, standing in line in the order their names had been stated. Once Mikasa had walked forward and joined the group, the Veteran soldier quieted down, causing the cadets to murmur and speak quietly, wondering why he hadn't stated the name for the cadet who had graduated at the number one. Drawing a breath, the soldier finally accounted for the last remaining soldier.

"Emalina Varlen!"

Gasps and soldiers exclaiming their confusion was what I heard first, but as I made my way towards the front line with wide eyes, the misperception turned into quieted cheer as those I passed congratulated me. Hell, I wasn't even sure how I had placed first in the Top Ten, meaning I was, as the soldier stated, the top of the class! Honestly, I thought I'd score sixth, maybe seventh place, but not first. Why wasn't that Mikasa's placement? Surely, she deserved it more than I did.

Once in place, the soldier raised his hand to quiet the commotion. "These names that I have called are eligible for the MP's. The rest of you, take a look! These are the Top Ten from the 104th Cadet Corp, with Emalina Varlen leading at number one, the top of your class!"

The rest of the ceremony flashed in an instant, for I now stood in the Headquarters Mess Hall, having discarded my uniform and was now wearing something more casual. Except, as this was our graduation, I decided to add a little flare to my outfit. Instead of trousers and a simple shirt, I donned a black, cloth dress that fell above my knee, something I considered fairly short. The sleeves draped over my shoulders, leaving them bare as the cloth fitted my upper-arm to my elbow, where the dress stopped in the center of my arm and billowed, but the fabric on the back of my arm draped towards my fingers. And, arguing with myself before finally deciding to add a bit of an eye-opener, I fashioned a dark red corset situated on my waist as it lifted my chest, appropriately displaying my wondrous curves. Braiding a section of hair on each side of my head, I pulled half into a messy bun, letting the remaining strands slightly curl against my back as my bangs dangled short across my face.

Arriving after, I took a few moments to gather some much-needed courage, not at all expecting the conversations to halt as all eyes fell upon me as I entered. But that was nearly half-an-hour ago, and here I was, drinking from my mug and wandering from group to group, congratulating everyone. Each person I spoke with declared they were happy how I was the top of the class, but I dismissed their compliments, clearly embarrassed, ensuring this night was about everyone, that we all deserve to be proud of ourselves.

From all the people I conversed, I had, sadly, yet to find Jean.

Maneuvering through the numerous tables, I could hear Connie and Sasha exclaim their happiness they were joining the Military Police and how they would have three meals a day for life. Sasha's honesty made me chuckle as I finally spotted a patch of dark undercut hair across the hall, sitting all by his lonesome. Making my way towards the man, Jean was brooding, irritably sipping his mug, lost in thought.

"Tch...how in god's name did I get ranked under Eren?"

"Jean Kirschtein, is this how you're gonna spend your evening?"

Jumping in his seat, Jean swiveled around to find me by his side. Seeking my eyes first, Jean didn't even attempt in hiding his glance as he slowly eyed me up and down. His action caused me to laugh as I sat upon the table, swinging my short legs into the air. "W-Wow, Ema...Emalina you look...oh fuck..." The male rubbed his neck instead of finishing his sentence.

"Yes, Jean?" I need to know what you think. Please tell me...

"Emalina you look...absolutely breathtaking..." Grasping my hand, Jean leaned his head down and kissed my skin, goosebumps and tingles erupting across my body upon impact. Eyes wavering between my face and the dress before he finally let go, seeking his drink as a diversion; I could easily tell I'd caught the man in a corner.

"Thank you, Jean. You look very handsome yourself," I stated firmly, cheeks growing warm. It was the truth. His typically trouser, white button up and black vest is something he'd worn numerous times, but the material clung to his skin, allowing me a visual of the muscles he hid underneath. Clearing my throat, I turned away, the heat becoming too intense. "A-Anyway...I agree with you Jean. I'm surprised you didn't rank higher. Or, at least above Eren."

He growled, rubbing his chin in anger. "I don't fucking understand..."

"Hey. Jean, look at me." When he didn't, I grabbed his chin, forcing the stubborn male to make eye contact. For once, he stared up at me as I was the taller one. "Look, we both have issues with Eren, that's fine, but please, stop moping all night. We fucking graduated, sweetie! Once we choose our regiment in two days, we'll no longer be cadets. So get up off your ass, celebrate and give me a dance later!" Patting my cheek, she smirked. "We placed in the Top Ten, so here's to us! Because in my mind, you're a stronger soldier than Jaeger will ever be!"

Suppressing a laugh, Jean held his mug towards mine and said, "Heh, alright beautiful, here's to us." Clinking our glasses, we downed the remainder of our drinks and stood, walking around the hall together, grabbing food and filling our mugs before heading back to the table. Of course, I was blushing the entire time. Could I set aside and ignore how Jean called me beautiful? Oh hell no.

Sitting there, it was just us while others stopped by, chit-chatted and left before we were alone once again. We didn't need company. That's what I loved about our relationship – ahem, friendship – because we were content with being by the other's side. And that's all we needed.

Marco joined us some time later and we discussed both the ceremony and the evening. Our freckled friend was enjoying himself, and as he talked about being stationed in Trost tomorrow, I noticed Thomas and Mina across the way. Excusing myself, I migrated to their location and was met with large smiles and hugs as they congratulated me.

"Oh stop it, please. Congratulations to you two as well! I'm not the only one who graduated tonight," I said. It was wonderful how everyone I spoke to mentioned my triumph, but the entire ordeal was awkward. I didn't want others to feel inferior only because I was nominated as the top of our class.

"Emalina, you're so humble!" Mina squealed.

"She's right. Soak it in! You were placed first in the Top Ten; that's an amazing achievement and you should be proud!" Thomas stated, patting my back.

"I'm very proud, and equally surprised, trust me. But soak in your victory for graduating! We all survived three years of hell. Please don't look at me as the top of the class; I'm still Emalina, your comrade, your friend." Reaching around my side to hug me, Mina was a sweetheart as she changed the subject to our chosen regiments. Spending a few moments with their conversation, I excused myself, making my way backs towards Jean and Marco. Passing Armin, Eren and Mikasa, I smiled and applauded them in passing as two heads nodded in appreciation.

One, did not.

"I don't know what the hell you did, but you don't deserve the spot for being the top of our class, Emalina." Halting my tracks, I refrained from turning to the prick, curious to see what he desperately needed to say. "That rightful spot belongs to Mikasa, you stole it from her."

"Eren, stop this," Mikasa pleaded, yet made no movements to refrain him.

"Oh goodness..." I moaned and rubbed my face. Was this seriously happening? I merely walked by to commend them and now this? The fuck? "If she wants it, she's more than welcome to take it." Those close enough to eavesdrop lowered their voices, some focused solely on us. "It's just a spot within the Top Ten, nothing more. The Commander and other Veteran soldiers made this decision on their own, I held no part in it. You wanna whine and complain? Go bitch to them." Slowly turning to scowl at Jaeger, my back stiffened in realizing how close in proximity he was to me. Moreover, the numbingly, cold contents of his drink hurled into my face, the liquid steadily dripping down my skin.

And if that wasn't enough, the asshole grabbed Armin's drink and dumped it over my hair, thus leading my head to become completely drenched.

"What the fuck Eren?!" I screamed, using the sleeves of my dress to dry the damage. It was only water, but I was now pissed off. Their stares were penetrating my back; we now had the full audience of the Mess Hall. Wiping the strands from my eyes, I growled at the man. "What the hell was that for? All I wanted to do was commend you guys for completing training, and this is what you do?!"

"Because you don't deserve what's been given to you! All three years you were treated special by Shadis when al you did was sit on your ass. You're not top of the class, Emalina; you're a joke, a worthless soldier, just like Jean," he repeated the same phrase from a few days prior.

"Emalina!" Cutting through the crowd forming around to see the ordeal, Jean rushed to my side, moving soaked hair behind my ear. "What happened?" I blinked at Eren and Jean immediately pieced the puzzles together. "You...fucking bastard! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Admit the truth, Emalina; admit what those girls were saying to you in the beginning. You were screwing Shadis and he gave you everything so easily. You never worked for anything, never pushed yourself as hard as you should've. How can you call yourself a soldier!"

"Can't you hear yourself? What's with the pettiness, Eren?" I asked, the anxiety I used to hold resurfacing. "Stop bothering yourself with what you know nothing about, it doesn't concern you."

"You can never admit the truth, can you?" Eren questioned smugly.

"Eren, stop this!" Armin pulled his friend's arm trying to remove him from the hall, but Eren wasn't have any of it.

"Admit the...? I don't have to admit anything, especially to you! But you want the truth? Here's the truth: I was chosen as the top of the class, so suck it up and move on."

"That's not good enough! I can't stand by and watch you become a soldier when you don't deserve to be one." Eren reached forward and grasp my arm, but Jean caught his wrist, pushing the male away into the table behind him.

"Don't even think of touching her!" Growling, Jean moved in front of me. The gesture was sweet, but I needed to handle this with Eren on my own. Taking his hand, I moved by his side and watched as Eren looked ready to burst.

"You're so pathetic, Emalina – "

"Drop it, Eren, I'm warning you," I threatened, stepping forward as Jean stood still. "I've never wanted to fight you, but you've been an asshole to me for a while now and I don't understand any of it. Why bother, why must you know? Do you want me to prove that I am a full-fledged soldier? Because I'll gladly kick your ass, right here and now."

Stepping forward, Mikasa snarled, eyes narrowing and darkening. "If you touch him Emalina I'll – "

"Mikasa Ackerman, if you so much as say another word and shield Eren, I swear to fucking god I'll burn your scarf."

The crowd gasped.

But it did what I needed my statement to do. Mikasa covered her jawline with the scarf and stepped back, glaring the evil eye at me, but I was tired of her allowing Eren to do and say some of the things he had said to me, and others, throughout training without stepping in.

"Listen up, Eren Jaeger, because I'm only gonna say this once. My past is my past, and there are reasons why I have a different relationship with the Commander than you, but they're my reasons. I worked my ass off just as hard as you – if not harder – every single day for three fucking years. But go ahead and believe what you wanna believe, I don't care, but don't treat me like shit and assume anything when you don't know me or the truth. Are we clear?"

He didn't answer except stare.

"And one more thing." Stepping forward I poked his chest as I had the other day. Man, I'm a real bitch when around Jaeger. I don't like this, I couldn't help but ponder; too late now. "If I hear you mention to anyone else that if they join another regiment besides the Scouts, I will personally tell Captain Levi to make your life a living hell."

"If we're gonna obtain our freedom, everyone needs to join the Scouts and take back what is rightfully ours! That's the only way to live in this world, we have to fight!"

I am so tired of hearing this speech.

"Are you serious?" Jean joined in, rubbing his head in frustration. I was actually surprised he had refrained from speaking and kept quiet. "Tough shit Eren, I'm joining the Military Police, so you can cut your bullshit and let anyone do what they wanna do. I'm gonna lead a cushy life in the interior while you go and get yourself killed!"

"Then you're not a true soldier!" Eren was yelling, and I could only imagine where this would lead.

"For the love of...You little bastard!"

"You son of a bitch!"

I swear, that's all they call each other.

And they began to fight. Most likely I instigated this response when I mentioned the Scouts, but how did Eren and Jean began fighting when he was having an issue with me? They were holding each other at arm's length, trying to physically overpower the other without having to throw a punch. Or, so I thought.

Eren raised his fist first, nearly landing a blow against Jean's cheekbone, but he dodged in the nick of time. Forming a right hook, Jean widened his stance, preparing to sock Jaeger, but Eren held a trick up his sleeve. Able to see what he was planning, I moved forward to grab my friend's arm to hold him upright when he would fall, but Eren's foot was still able to connect with Jean's shin, causing the man to stumble – and then everything became a blur.

Jean's shin buckled beneath his weight from Eren's kick. In response, he formed a fist with the opposite hand in attempt to take Eren down from the momentum of his fall. However, as everything happened within the blink of an eye, my position faltered just as Jean threw his punch. His target?

My cheek.

The force behind the attack threw me off my feet as Armin caught me in his arms, holding me steady as my head swam and eyes blurred for a few moments. Those around us gasped and called my name, the only, silent individuals were Eren and Jean, the latter staring at his fist in pain and regret. Standing on my own feet, I tenderly ran my thumb over the skin before holding the side of my face, the skin and muscles overly tender and stung, wincing each time I tried to move the muscles. I shouldn't be surprised in the strength Jean held.

"Emalina!"

All I could hear was my name over and over, yet I wasn't fazed. Everything was silent.

I was just hit by Jean – my Jean! No, my mind countered. His attack landed on me because Eren decided kick his opponent, throwing both of us off. It's partially my fault for jumping in between them.

"E-Emalina..." Jean's voice broke through the silence fracturing the barrier between me and the rest of the room. "Please...are you alright?" He stepped forward, though my foot stepped back, refraining from his touch, needing a moment to gather my feelings. Mouth falling, Jean pleaded, his face screamed everything he desired to say.

"I-I'm tired..." Swallowing, I gathered my thoughts, knowing I was about to burst in anger and needed to calm the adrenaline pumping my frustration. "I'm tired of the fighting. I'm sick of the threats, the bullying, the accusations. We're supposed to be comrades!" Screaming, I moved in between the two males once again, my feet firm as I stood my ground, blatantly ignoring the pressure in my face. They would hear me, and I would not be interrupted.

"Each of us will be choosing separate regiments two days from now, but we're all soldiers, all comrades! Eren Jaeger," I said clearly, spinning myself around to face him. "I've never done anything to deserve the treatment you've given me. If you've had issues, you should've talked with me, I might've answered any questions you had, but no. You preferred to sit on your ass and make assumptions based on gossip instead of asking for the truth! And for the record: stop being an egotistical prick! You wanna join the Scouts and leave the walls? Search for freedom you feel we all should believe in? That's great, knock yourself out – but don't put someone down for wanting something different, for wanting to live their life differently."

"They're living wrongly then!"

"WHO THE FUCK CARES?!" I screeched before he could finish his sentence. He was repeating the same reasoning over and over and I was truly sick of hearing it. "Everyone is entitled to how they want to live within these walls. Some want to live carefully, some want to discover the world. Jean wants to join the Military Police for safety and security; I may not fully approve, but I support his decision because he just wants to live!"

"Emalina..." Jean voiced my name quietly.

"Don't, Jean, just...don't. I've held this in for far too long, but you seriously need to stop criticizing those who want to save humanity outside the walls. And..." Inhaling a large breath, I prepared myself for the inevitable. This may strain our friendship, but he needed to know; it was now or never. "...if you're gonna keep up that attitude until you join the MP's, then you need to add me to that list of people you dislike, because I'm joining the Scouts too!"

From there, running was all I could do, forcing myself through the crowd, leaving theirs stares ad whispers behind. I couldn't escape fast enough, couldn't leave the shocked expression of Jean as I vacated the Mess Hall, scrambling through Headquarters into the starry night. My legs carried me where my mind knew naught where to go, and thus I found myself outside the stables, searching for Freyja, Midnight and little Galaxy, who wasn't so tiny anymore.

Not in their stables, I assumed Annamarie moved them into the corral outside and when I walked close enough to the wooden fence, Freyja noticed my presence, instantly trotting to my side and nuzzled my face. She accidentally nudged my cheek, still tender from Jean's fist, so I pulled my head away and rubbed her muzzle, my usual smile unable to form.

With all the quarrels and fights throughout training, I wasn't all that shocked there was one this evening. But did it really have to occur? Did Eren really need to protest his issue with my placement in the Top Ten? Did he – did he – ?

"Eren Jaeger," I growled his name through clenched teeth. Wincing, I held my cheek again, gently rubbing the skin, wishing the stinging would go away. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if there was already a bruise forming. And then the reality of the situation crashed through me.

Not only had I been humiliated in front of all my friends and comrades with my still wet hair, but I had been verbally attacked and then received a punch straight to the face. The night of graduation I'd imagined was obviously nothing as it had evidently played out, and needless to say, I was hurt. For so long, I envisioned this night to be full of laughter, conversation and an evening of enjoyment with my friends. We would eat as much food as possible, dance, drink and just celebrate our achievement, that we survived and were now soldiers.

I sighed, one lone tear escaping, trailing down the side I wasn't touching, as if my inner emotions wanted to heal the external injury.

"E-Emalina...?"

Turning the side of my face that wasn't bursting with flares of pain, I angled my head behind me, noticing Jean standing outside one of the stables. The Jean I was used to, and the one I had seen tonight, weren't even comparable to the Jean Kirschtein who was seeking me now. The man looked defeated, eyes wide in discomfort as his body sagged against himself. Gingerly closing the gap between us, my friend deliberately strode to my right, the side he had hit as he held onto the wooden planks of the fence. Freyja happily greeted the man she'd come to recognize as he stroked her snout. I expected there to be tension between us, but the air was clean, free of any toxicity from my spat with Eren.

Then again, who knew what Jean was thinking about my outburst regarding the Scouts.

"I'm sorry," was what he said first. I didn't turn my head, didn't want the man to see my face. His voice was quiet when I remained silence, not sure how to respond. Of course I was bothered about being punched in the face – who couldn't? – but I wasn't mad at Jean; it's not as if he hit me on purpose. "Emalina I...I'm really sorry," he pleaded. "Please, you know I wasn't trying to hurt you..."

"I know," my voice interjected. There was no need for him to apologize when he had nothing to be sorry for.

Nevertheless, Jean pulled my face towards him, taking hold of my chin as he inspected the infected area. Using his hands as gentle as I'd ever seen, Jean brushed his fingers against the skin. It burned, but I wasn't sure exactly why. "It's...already bruising."

"How bad?"

"It'll be black and blue by morning," Jean answered, wincing as he did.

"Look, it could be worse."

"It shouldn't have happened at all!"

"But it did." Taking his hand, I squeezed my fingers, needing the man to know it was ok, that I held no ill will for this accident. "I got between the two of you because I'm tired of the fighting and we didn't anticipate Eren to use that move on you again."

Searching my eyes, it seemed Jean didn't find what he thought was there and loudly exhaled. "I'm still sorry," his voice pitched slightly higher.

"Jean, I'm not mad at you, not at all."

"...I don't deserve your forgiveness," he muttered quietly, avoiding my gaze as he turned his body. Facing away with his back towards me, I reached forward before he decided to leave, my arms circling around his waist to pull him against my smaller frame my face resting against his muscled back. Holding him there, I was afraid, so very afraid and I couldn't pinpoint why, but I knew the silence on my announcement to join the Scouts was crackled with dangerous energy.

"Don't say that, don't ever say that. You haven't done anything to not deserve my forgiveness."

My words edged the strain from his shoulders as he pulled me around until we were face-to-face. "Yet," he added to my previous statement. Glaring up, Jean managed to chuckle. Letting go, he made way back towards the fence, whistling softly as he called for Freyja. She returned to his side, as well as Midnight and Galaxy, all pushing for his attention, giving each a rub and a smile.

"You know..." he voiced, being quiet for a few moments. Moving to his side, we both stared forward, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts. "This is off topic, but...I was kinda surprised what you told Mikasa."

"That I'd burn her scarf?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not entirely happy with myself for saying that, I was...I was just so tired of her always protecting Eren, rather than those he fights with, the things he says to others. She – She just stood there while he attacked me; I'd had enough and lost it!"

"I get that Ema, but that was a bit much, don't you think?" Blinking, I breathed in and out. My irritation rising within me once more; but more to the point, was Jean on Mikasa's side for what I said?

"Um, forgive me, but...are you...are you defending her?" I stated lowly, raising an eyebrow.

"What? No!"

"That's not what it sounds like. You just said my words 'were a bit much'. If that's not taking her side for what I said, then what did you mean?"

"That's not...! Ugh," he growled, rubbing his face, staring off into the distance. "All I'm saying is that what you said didn't sound like you at all. Your words were a bit dark, not something the Emalina I know would normally say."

"Then why are you out here with me then?" That got his attention, I thought, as Jean slowly narrowed his eyes. "If what I said was too dark, why aren't you inside with Mikasa, telling her you're sorry on my behalf? Because I don't regret any of it and wouldn't change my words."

"Ema..."

"And since we're on this topic..." Turning, I crossed my arms, glaring at him, my voice continuing to rise. "Why on earth would you argue with Eren for me, but not against Mikasa? She's just as guilty by not stopping Eren for pouring not one, but two, drinks on me and verbally harassing me in front of everyone."

"Emalina...!"

"So why aren't you with her, Jean?!" I could feel myself rambling, beginning to pace back and forth as the poor male stood there, watching my every move. "You've had your eyes on her since Initiation. Her hair, her strength, her attachment to Eren. Mikasa this, Mikasa that," I mimicked. "Seriously! Why be out here with me? You could be inside next to her! She's always what you wanted, it's always been Mikasa!"

Nearly screaming my anger, the echo through the night fell silent, halting my steps. Lowering my head into my hands, I desperately held back the tears. Tears of anger, tears of pain. What kind of person had I been today? Jean was right. I wouldn't normally say such a thing to anyone, and even though my reasoning of being fed up was the truth, it felt as an excuse all the same.

Nonetheless, one could now say my jealously was out in the open. Maybe Jean had known, maybe he hadn't. Didn't matter, for now he knew I knew Mikasa was the one he wanted – and that I wasn't.

"...is that what you think?" His footsteps crunched heavily against the ground. Feeling his presence behind me, I dropped both arms against my sides, simply standing there as my head fell back, staring high into the starry night sky.

"Emalina...Mikasa is not my best friend; you are. And I won't apologize to her because I agree with you. Mikasa was out of line when she didn't step forward. She always seems to let Eren's antics slide, but never lets anyone attack him when he deserves it." Covering my shoulders with his large hands, Jean rubbed up and down against the covered skin of my arms. The sensation was soothing and I bit my lip, refraining myself from releasing a hefty moan. Sadly, the fear of losing him overwhelmed my senses, blocking Jean's words and the hidden meaning.

"She's...she's the one you've fallen for since Initiation," I rephrased my sentence, the quietness of my voice barely audible.

"No, she isn't," he replied quickly. Stepping closer, I could feel the heat of his breath against my neck, one hand moving my drying hair over the shoulder. His fingers brushed my neck, tracing designs, causing the skin to tingle and bring forth electrifying goosebumps. "Emalina..." he whispered into my ear, leaning his head down against my shoulder. "Mikasa is nothing more than a comrade..."

"But you..."

"Her hair is plain; yours shimmers. She is strong, but that's her only good quality as a soldier; you're stronger, in more ways than her. Mikasa only thinks of Eren whereas you have a huge heart, always considering others and helping whenever you can." Each word escaping his mouth, Jean moved closer to facing me head on. "Mikasa has nothing compared to you, Emalina. Yes, I was infatuated with her when we started training, but the more we spent together, the less I thought of her."

I remained quiet, happiness pulsing my blood, needing to hear what else he had to say.

"You, Emalina Varlen, are so beautiful, so goddamn incredible. Every day I have woken up and questioned why me. Why would a person like you be my friend and deal with my shit? I know I'm stubborn and that I can be an ass. But you? You're...in my eyes, you're a goddess. When you hug me, I never want to let go. When you cry, my heart breaks because I can't stand to see you upset. When you're happy, I'm the first person you tell and that gives me joy." Clearing his throat, Jean was struggling with locking gazes with mine.

"I want to make you happy, to see your smile that always brightens my day. The way you laugh, the way you treat others so fairly, your kindness and how..." Cupping my cheek, Jean leaned forward, his lips landing against my temple. Leaning into his frame, I raised my head, desiring more pressure from his kiss against my flesh. "How you've given me a chance. A chance to prove myself as a friend, a chance to become..." He grew quiet as his forehead fell against mine.

My voice was frail as I meekly called his name. "...Jean?"

"You made me the soldier I am today. From day one, you believed in my wanting to join the MP's and never gave me shit for it. You laughed at my stupid jokes and played along with my antics. You're..." Pulling away, his palms found my cheeks, pulling our faces closer, noses touching until his voice was just as quiet as mine. "...you're perfect, simply perfect and I've only wanted you. Emalina Varlen I...I love you. I love you so very much..."

That was all I needed to hear.

Jean was not given the chance to see my expression as I threw myself at the man, tightening my arms around his neck, fists forming in his hair. Our lips formed together, earning an instant moan from me and a deep-throated growl from him. Nudging me against the corral fence, Jean trapped me within his arms, hands gripping my hips, our bodies pressed tightly together. Leaning downwards, he tenderly licked my bottom lip and I gave him everything. His tongue darted towards mine, and all we could comprehend was consuming each other. Here stood the man I loved, and consequently, the man who loved me as well.

We flowed together like two pieces needed to complete the puzzle. Jean's body holding mine was warm and the moment our lips met, the flood gates consumed my senses. There had been several instances over the last few weeks where we found ourselves in a similar situation, but something, or someone, always broke the spell, and we were never able to discover the magic. And now? All I could ascertain was Jean; his fingers digging into my skin, one hand circling around my back, pulling me ever closer against his taller frame, and his tongue. The muscle currently intertwining mine as we shared our kiss, the first of what I was hoping would be many, many more.

And yet, I was still lost. What was happening? How long had we been kissing? Better yet, was this all a dream, or true reality? This couldn't happen, it would never work. Opening my eyes to see his closed, I whimpered, knowing Jean and I would never truly work as a couple.

Gently shoving the man on his chest, Jean tore his lips away as I traced mine, arms circling around me, protecting myself from false hope.

"Ema..." he voiced my nickname, reaching forward to grasp my cheek, but I turned my head, his hand falling, eyes crushed by my action.

"Jean this...this can't happen..."

"What, what do you mean?" he stumbled with his words.

"This," I emphasized, waving my hand back and forth between us. "It would never work and you know that," I cried. Tears I forbade from shedding earlier were overflowing down my cheeks. My statement was a lie, and it was killing me to even speak. "Y-You're joining the MP's and I...I'm joining the Scouts. We would never see each other..."

"So I'll join the Scouts." My head short forward. Jean's face was stern and I knew this was the face he held when the man was serious and had already made up his mind. "Or you can join the Military Police. Either way, I will make this work because I want it to work. I've told you so many times, Emalina. I cannot, and will not, lose you."

"There's no other way, Jean..." I whispered, hugging my arms against myself, needing some form of comfort, knowing I was all alone.

"How so? Is it set in stone you're joining the Scouts?" He was taken aback when I slowly nodded. "Wait, are you telling me you've known you were gonna join the Scouts?" When I nodded again, his face fell into a scowl. "What the hell, how long have you known?!"

Are you ready to admit the last truth you've hidden from him, Emalina?

"I – I considered the Scouts when I was living with them before training, and then Erwin and Levi made me an offer that edged me closer to join. But I hadn't come to a conclusion until our first year was done."

"That...that long?" I nodded once more, not trusting my voice, not with the increase of water covering my cheeks. With a pained voice, Jean dared to ask, "Why haven't you said anything to me?"

"How could I?" was my immediate rebuttal. "For three years you've condemned anyone who wanted to join the Scouts, always stating it was their death wish. I sat by your side for three years, withholding in telling you where I wanted to join because I was afraid you would treat me the same way!"

"I would never Emalina and you know that!" he growled, body shaking in anger.

"Really? What about now?"

"I'm more frustrated at the fact you never told me!"

"This is my choice, Jean," I calmly stated. Relaxing my gaze, I didn't want to be mad, couldn't truly be mad at him; I loved Jean too damn much to become pitiful. "Trust me when I say this, Jean. I've battled myself thinking of joining the MP's because I want to stay with you and Marco. I can't lose you either. But the more I considered switching regiments, the more disrespect I held against myself. Becoming a Scout means I can attempt, with everything in my power, to protect those I love." With more tears falling, I softly added. "I'm joining the Scouts to protect you. Outside the walls, I plan to fight with all my strength and willpower, safeguarding the titans will never break through the wall and find you. Out there, I can keep those bastards at bay, knowing you are safe and alive inside the inner wall."

"Emalina that's..." Swallowing, he returned to his position in front of me. "I still believe that's suicide...but you're not like Eren, and you've never been like him. But I can't...I can't just accept you in joining!"

"You're gonna have to, Jean," my tone was sharp, but he needed to know my mind had been made up, and there was no backing down. "My mind is set – "

"No!" He yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders as my gaze widened. "You cannot do this and I won't allow it."

"You won't allow it? Excuse me Jean, but you don't own me, you do not get to make my decisions." Lower his head until we were eye level, I recoiled, suddenly needing to move away. Jean's eyes held a fire I'd never seen. Scorching hot, they burned with such intensity and conviction, I had to question myself this:

Was this anger from my simply joining the Scouts, or was this because I wouldn't remain by his side?

"Please Emalina...I understand why you want to join and I've accepted you're reasoning, but I can't simply let you go out there to die!"

"If you truly accepted my reasoning, then you'll let me go. This is something I'm set on doing and I cannot change it!"

Huffing, Jean released my shoulders and stepped back. The fire I witnessed in his eyes was now extinguished, having been replaced with a bitter stare of indifference, as if he was looking at an acquaintance, and not me, his best friend, the person he said he loved. "Heh...you say you can't let me go Emalina, but you're so quick to leave me for the Scouts. Are you wanting to die? Are you wanting to be eaten by a titan?!"

"What...? No! Jean!"

"I should've known...all this time I wished you felt the same. I was hopeful these last few weeks as I thought maybe, just maybe, you held something for me as I do. But...it looks like I was sorely mistaken." Stepping back, Jean removed himself to leave. Rushing after him, I grabbed his arm, deathly afraid what this meant for us.

"Jean!" I cried.

"Leave me alone, Emalina. I don't want to be near you." Quiet and filled with devastation, Jean's demeanor screamed to leave him alone, but as he looked at me one last time, his face was told me differently. I saw anguish, pain, and hope? Why was their hope if he believed I didn't reciprocate the same feelings as him? Slowly, the muscles in my hand relaxed and fell, allowing Jean to advance forward, never looking back as he moved on out of sight, leaving me behind near the corral with an unknown atmosphere choking my very existence.

Jean had said the same thing earlier that I hadn't sounded like myself when I spoke with Mikasa. Well, I knew Jean Kirschtein in and out; what he said did not sound like him at all, at least, not when his words were directed at me specifically. The man was pushing me away, defending his inner self from fear I was rejecting his proclamation. Either way, it hurt worse than the bruise forming on my cheek, and as I ran back to the fence, jumping over the wood, Freyja sensed my change and heartily trotted towards my side. Comforted by my oldest friend, I wept and collapsed into the dirt, allowing the events of the night to crash into my mental state, finally able to perceive everything that transpired and how the evening fell apart.

I hadn't been paying attention to the time, nor how long I'd been outside until Marco went and searched for me. When he found where I was, Marco stated his concern that I'd been out here a few hours. Apparently, he had questioned Jean why I wasn't with him when he returned and gave him no answer before he left to his own room. Not knowing what to say, I decided to stay silent on what happened between Jean and I. Catching the hint, Marco guided me to my personal room, noting the redness of my eyes, never questioning the cause.

He asked if I needed anything before leaving, but all I wanted was my bed and some sleep. Granting me that, I quickly tore my clothing, throwing the items across the room, searching for my night clothes, and when I was finally dressed, I threw myself onto the bed, curling into the blanket. Wanting nothing more than for sleep to curl in my bed along my side, I couldn't help but reimagine the kiss we shared, all before...well, before we had our fall out.

Oh Jean...we choose our regiments the day after tomorrow. If you can hear me, please...I love you, and wherever our paths take us, I will always love you.

~ oOo ~

"Can you guys keep a secret?"

Sasha appeared atop the wall, walking towards us with her arms crossed over the bulge in her military jacket. I was stationed with other cadets to inspect canons and other artillery needed if there was to be another titan attack, so we were placed upon the wall above the Trost District gate, overlooking the distant land between Wall Rose and Wall Maria. Eren had been assigned to this group as well and I'd avoided speaking with him all morning. And yet, there comes my best friend Sasha as she pulled a giant piece of beautiful meat from underneath her jacket.

"Because I totally just helped myself to the officer's pantry!" she silently squealed. The other cadets nearly shit their pants while I laughed my head off. Kneeling against of the canons close by, Sasha grinned at me as I shook my head before getting back to my work of cleaning and oiling the beast of a machine. Not wanting to avoid her gaze, I decided against meting her eye, she would only question the slight redness, including the swell of my cheek. Jean was right, it was definitely black and blue when looking in the mirror this morning.

The other cadets told her she would get in a lot of trouble, but with drool falling from her lips, Sasha was out of her mind. "It's fine, I'm willing to share. Could you...could you imagine the sandwiches?!"

Wanting to see the expressions of the other cadets, I wasn't all surprised when they were drooling as well, imaging what it would be to have a sandwich with meat once again. Mina had stated it, meat was a rare commodity since we lost Wall Maria, yet one by one, each pleaded to have a sandwich, followed by the others while Eren stared at the others. He finally spoke up when he asked, "Ugh, fine. I'd like some meat as well, please."

"No," Sasha stated firmly, placing the meat in a nearby storage box. Kneeling down, she closed the lid, her eyes narrowed when she glanced at Eren. "After the way you treated Emalina last night, you don't deserve any meat."

Back going rigid, I slowly turned to see her giving me a soft smile, all the while Eren stared wide-eyed at her before glaring at me. Shaking my head, I didn't want there to be problems between my friends and Eren at my expense, so I returned to completing my task on the canon. "Sasha please, it's alright. Eren can have my piece."

"But Emalina..." she said.

"It's alright. He was an asshole last night, that's for sure, but I don't want you treating him differently on my behalf, that's not right."

I gave no heed to their expression, but could tell Sasha was conflicted. "You're lucky Emalina's a generous person, Eren." He remained quiet, as did everyone else while they returned to their task, as not to be caught slacking off by another soldier. We worked independently, our silent voices content as we fixed to improve and keep the artillery in perfect condition.

If only, if only.

Igniting the sky with a blast of yellow electricity, we were suddenly engulfed in titan steam; the other cadets and myself strained our attention to face forward towards the open titan territory – and there it stood.

The Colossal Titan.

Blood red and skinless, the stories I'd heard were true. The formidable titan stared down at us like ants, and in the blink of an eye, it exploded an intense vapor of fiery steam, thrashing us until we were thrown off the wall, scrambling with the ODM to save our lives. Connie was screaming towards Samuel when Sasha released her gear and ran down the wall, releasing the wire until it snatched his leg, holding the man in place from an impending death.

Gasping in fear and shock, we all stared down at the gate, mouths open in disbelief. Just like five years ago, the titan smashed its foot into the wall, leaving behind an open space large enough for all titans to enter unprohibited. Frantically searching to see if all the cadets were safe, we clung to the wall for safety, but I knew we needed to move. Any minute there would be titans appearing through the hole, and if we didn't act fast, humanity would surely be doomed.

"This is our chance!" Eren was yelled, quickly bursting his gas to maneuver over the wall. The others made to follow but I held up my hand to stop them.

"Wait!" I screamed, intently watching the Colossal, analyzing and predicting his moves. "Cover your heads!" They followed as we watched the titan's blood red arm slam atop the wall, whisking across the length, breaking and beating until the tracks and canons were no more.

Within in a matter of seconds, it was over. The damn titan no longer loomed over our fears as it disappeared, leaving just as soon as it arrived. Making our way towards the top, I assisted Sasha with Samuel; the poor cadet was unconscious with a nasty slice above his temple, and let's not forget the spike spearing through his ankle. Flabbergasted, I watched the other cadets as they stared down the wall, scared out of their wits what this meant.

No one dared to speak, except for Sasha as she removed the spike from Samuel's leg, carefully wrapping the wound before joining my side. We needed to take action, someone needed to lead these individuals back towards Headquarters. I commend Eren in attempting to take down the Colossal Titan, but with its disappearance and the threat of titans breaching the city, we had to act quickly, needed to be the soldiers we'd just become and prove our worth in saving Trost. Stepping forward, I raised my voice to the heavens, because it was now or never.

"Come on you guys. I know we're all in shock, but we need to get moving! We need to get to Headquarters and report what we saw!"

"She's right guys," Sasha stepped forward as several pairs of eyes turned to us.

"B-But there's titans...!" Connie stumbled, fear clearly written across his face.

"I know Connie, trust me. We have some time, but not long, so we must use it wisely and head back." The others nodded except for Eren, who I briefly passed my sight over. If he was gonna give me shit, I wouldn't deal with it; not now, when my main concern was guaranteeing we made it back to HQ. "Connie, Eren, I need one of you to carry Samuel. Sasha, Mina, Thomas. You guys go on ahead and inform all the Garrison soldiers you can find what has happened. Let them know the gates been breached and all the main canons have been destroyed." No one moved an inch so I stepped forward, raising my voice even more. "Chop chop, guys! We are on a time limit, and the more we dillydally, the more lives will die today. Now move!"

One by one they left, the distant trail of their gas the only evidence I could find once they were out of sight. Standing on the wall for a few moments, I assessed the damage, knowing it was pointless, but was hoping there was something to be salvaged. Growling, I left as well, jumping down the height of the wall before activating my ODM, soaring across the buildings, watching as citizens down below ran from their homes. Children screamed and people ran into each other. It seemed the evacuation drills the Garrison tested was effective as hordes of people moved towards the inner gate, seeking sanctuary within the land buried between Wall Rose and Wall Sina. Gazing upon the people running for their lives, I glanced back at the large, gaping hole; no titans had appeared just yet, giving us a bit more time to prepare.

I was nowhere near Headquarters when I slammed my feet into the ceiling tile of a random house, my boots clinking against the fragile plates. Heart hammering within my ribcage, I glanced once more at the gate and then towards the towering castle-like structure that was the Headquarters for the Military within Trost District. Since the Colossal broke through the gate, I was solely fixated on getting the other cadets moving, but as I stood there, frantically searching the streets and the rooftops, one face entered my memory, one face that I needed to know was safe and sound.

"Jean!"

Screaming into the air, I jumped off the roof and continued flying through the city. Winding through the buildings, I pushed my gas swiftly as possible. Reaching Headquarters within a matter of minutes, I saw the other cadets rushing around, some carrying supply crates, others attaching their gear, filling their tanks or replenishing their blades. Across the open courtyard, I saw Jean run into Eren, the latter shoving my friend into a stone pillar, growling into his face.

"Damnit Jean, we trained for this! What do you think the last three years were about, huh?!" Idly standing by, my curiosity rose at what else Eren had to say, completely forgetting about the danger we were about to face. "We survived, and stared death in this face where some others weren't able to do the same. Some died, but we made it. We powered through for three years, what's one more day. You can do this Jean, alright? If not for yourself..." Craning his neck at me, Jean followed his gaze as they both sought my face. Expression slightly falling, it was just enough I could tell Jean was remembering the previous night's events; he refused to blink the moment he saw me. Gripping Jean's jacket tighter and shoving him further into the pillar, Eren coldly said, "Don't survive this day just so you can join the Military Police. Survive for her!"

Letting my friend go, Eren stalked off as Jean stared blankly ahead yet I still made my way towards him. Raising his head, Jean was shaking. The man was terrified for he truly believed he would never have to encounter a fight with a titan, that he would always be safe within the interior. "Jean" I called softly. He inhaled deeply before saying my name in return while barely a sigh escaped his lips. "I...kinda overheard what Eren said to you. Look," knotting both hands, my stomach felt queasy. "Regardless of what you think, we will get through this, I promise you that."

"There's no way...just, no way we can win."

"Yes, we can!" Grasping his hands, I held them in front for both to see. "Do you see these? Do you see your hands? They have guided you through training, making you a strong soldier and will help for one more day. These hands will carry your blades with courage, cutting down every titan that crosses your breath." Sighing, my thumbs smoothed over his course skin. Simply doing this action had my breathing increase. "Whether we like it or not, Eren was right; we must survive this day."

"Why..." Taking his hands from mine, Jean was struggling, limbs shaking as he pulled me into the shadows, away from any prying eyes. "Why aren't you terrified, Emalina?"

"Oh, sweetie..." What was I supposed to say? Mumbling, I uttered, "I'm horrified, completely and utterly scared today could end horribly. I've seen firsthand what these monsters can do, the horrors they bring so I know what to expect. Besides, you've known all this time why I became a soldier." Grasping his cheek, I brought our faces together, barely touching. "This fear will not restrain me from keeping my promise to those I love, and that includes you, Jean, whether you believe me or not."

"Varlen!" Letting Jean go, I saluted to Ian Dietrich, member of the Elite Squad for the Garrisons located within Trost.

"Sir!"

"You're with me, you've been assigned to the Rear Guard on special orders. Let's get going."

"O-Oh?"

"Yes, you're one of the strongest from your graduating class. We need your skills to assist with evacuating the citizens, so you and Ackerman will join me and my comrades."

"Yes sir, I-I just need a quick minute, please." Ian flashed his eyes towards Jean then back at me.

"Make it quick."

When Ian left, Jean regained his voice, the same tone I knew and loved. "Ema, I need to tell you...about last night..."

"No Jean, now is not the time – "

"Now may be the last time!" Folding me into his frame, Jean kissed my head. Breathing in his wonderful scent, I burned this memory, engraving this special moment in preparation for the worst. "This could be the last time I hold you like this."

Staring up at him with wide eyes, I was reminded where my fear actually lay. Fighting against the titans wasn't what I was scared me. Terrifying, yes, however, I wasn't afraid. No, I was more fearful of losing this man holding me within his arms. Who knew, by this evening, there could be the chance that I would never feel his warmth surround me again.

"We will win this, Jean. You and I will survive to see another sunrise, another day to live our lives, where you will join the Military Police and I the Scouts. Let's fight as soldiers, side-by-side, and win this day back against these horrendous beasts. Let's send them to hell for even thinking of destroying our chance at happiness."

Standing on my tiptoes, my lips fell upon his, firmly molding us together, as one single drop of anguish fell down my cheek, becoming absorbed in our embrace. Sadly, I forced myself to let go, taking a few steps back; otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to leave this man's presence.

"I love you, Jean Kirschtein." I whispered, my eyes locked directly onto his beautiful, golden orbs.

And those were my last words before I turned and ran across Headquarters to join the Elite Squad. My heart hammered and my head was screaming, yet I knew he deserved the truth. One of us might die before the day runs cold, with my only wish for Jean was to be hopeful. I wanted my last words to comfort him, to give him strength in battle with a promise to hold me once more when all this madness was truly over.

~ oOo ~

This chapter was fun to create. Bit hard to develop an angry aura for Emalina, but from the beginning, I knew these events would correspond in such a way. My only wish is for my readers to enjoy what I have presented. Let me know what ya'll think; your words and suggestions – or even constructive criticism! – are very much appreciated and helps with writing the next chapter.

Chocobocolina :3