Chapter Eleven
To Live, You Have to Risk the Chance of Death
A/N: I have been getting a lot of love and awesome comments lately, and I just wanted to say thank you! I'm very happy more and more people are discovering my story and enjoying what I've created. This chapter was fun to write and I'm hoping everyone thinks so too.
Song for this chapter: It's a mix between "Shingeki Vc - Pf 20130218 Kyojin" from the second AoT album (this is the title I pulled from iTunes. If you search for "The Best of Attack on Titan Soundtracks Collection" by Andreea on YouTube, the track is #20), and "Pegasus" by Two Steps From Hell. Love, love, love! 3
Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, I only own Emalina and any other OC's. The new story picture does not belong to me; I hold no Copyright and found the it through Google Images.
~ oOo ~
Point of View
Jean
"Hey Jean! What're we gonna do?!"
"We can't do anything." Groaning, a hand holding the side of my head, I scratched my hair, eyes blankly staring forward. Soaking in Connie's words, my mind could do nothing but accept the demise we all faced. "Ugh...they finally gave us the order to withdraw...and we run all out of gas. I can't believe this is how it's gonna end, because of those damned cowards." I was right...I'll never get to see your face again.
"You mean the supply depot?" Connie questioned, switching his gaze between HQ and me. "What is going on? Where are they?!"
"They all lost their will to fight; tch, I can understand why. But they abandoned their duty to supply us, barricading themselves inside HQ." I could imagine the remaining cadets posted to supply the fighting squads provisions when we ran out. Those fuckers must be sitting nice and comfy inside the castle, knowing we're the ones facing hell out here. "And, of course, the titans have swarmed the place, which means we can't get the gas ourselves."
"Then why are we waiting?!" Eyeing Connie, I had to give it to the shorter male, he was pumped and determined to get our asses of this roof towards safety. "We gotta go! Start thinning their numbers so we have a chance! Sitting here on this roof is totally pointless, eventually the titans are gonna come for us. We don't have much gas left, we'll just waste what little we've got if we try to run. And without our mobility, we're completely screwed!" He tapped the side of his gas tank for emphasis.
"You're using your head for once Connie, nice goin'. But I'm just not sure we've got the numbers needed to pull this thing off." Peering around at the remaining cadets, at least, those who were currently with us, our numbers had thinned. Even if they listened to either of us, they wouldn't follow Connie or myself. I'm no damn leader. If Emalina were here, she'd have them all gathered in a heartbeat; anyone would follow her to their death. I know I would. "The veterans in the Vanguard have all been killed. How exactly do a bunch of rookies pull off a suicide mission like this? I mean, let's assume even half of our forces survive the initial assault. Then what? The supply room's probably crawling with titans in the three to four-meter range; I don't see us accomplishing much inside there."
Connie inhaled deeply, the determined expression he held melted away. "It's hopeless, isn't it?"
"God, what a dull life this turned out to be. And Ema, I...I never even got the chance to say I'm sorry..."
"Sorry for what, man? What'd you do?"
"We...we got into a nasty argument last night..." Arms hanging off my knees, I slumped forward, knowing that if Emalina were to perish today and I lived, this would be something I'd regret for the rest of my life.
My friend sighed, shaking his head as if I knew I hadn't already fucked up. "You haven't seen her yet, have you?"
I nodded. "I last saw her before we began the assault. She was ordered to fight with the Rear Guard and that was...that was it. Last thing she told me was that we would win."
"Shit," Connie said, rubbing his neck. "Jean, have you even told her how you feel?"
Again, I shook my head, not wanting him to know that's what the basis of our fight was about. Were we even angry anymore? I was last night, that's for sure, and yet, this morning? What the fucking hell was that? Seeing her before running into battle settled my anxiety a little, knowing she hadn't been hurt when the Colossal broke through, since she'd been stationed on the wall above the gate. But the kiss – ! And then she...
Emalina said she loved me.
Aching to hold the woman once more, I groaned, finding my attention split between thinking of her and trying to survive. There was no doubt within my mind she was telling the truth, except, was she really casting me aside simply because we were to join different regiments? She was right, it would never work if I was in the MP's and she the Scouts; the decision wouldn't be fair on either of us. Still, I kept my hopes up to hear her say those three words once more.
"Seriously Jean, you've had a thing for her since training started. Now's the time to say something before you both join different regiments!"
"Trust me Connie, if we survive this, I'm gonna scream it to the heavens."
"JEAN!"
Head raised at the call of my name, both Connie and I looked around to see which cadet it was. Upon hearing my name again, we looked towards the sky, noticing a cadet who hadn't been with us, gliding straight in our direction. "Emalina..." I whispered, quickly standing to my feet, her brown hair swaying behind, screaming my name once more. Seeming unharmed, I smiled; in all this blood and death, she was the light of hope I so desperately needed. Landing heavily against the tile, we met halfway as she swung her arms around my neck while I hoisted her into the air, scared I'd never see her again.
"Oh my god, Jean!" Her voice was small, full of raw emotion. Caressing her cheek, I gazed into her blue eyes, more beautiful than the sky on a clear day.
"Emalina..."
"W-Wait here, I wanna check on everyone else, ok?" Nervous to see me or not, I couldn't tell. She walked to the other cadets, making sure they weren't hurt; some were happy to see her, whereas Marco and Sasha nearly crushed her spine, happy to see their friend safe from harm. An individual with a gentle and unbelievably kind soul, Emalina asked everyone if they were okay, seeing if there was anything she could do for those who needed help. Spotting Armin, she kneeled to his level; when he didn't respond, she whispered something only he could hear before leaving the broken soldier alone.
Making her way back towards me, the people she was closest with walked to where I was standing, wanting to hear directly from her what she had to say. Some people questioned if Mikasa had followed her, as they were stationed together, but she didn't have an answer as to where she was. Apparently, Mikasa left to find us on her own, leaving Emalina behind. Tch, but was it to truly find us? Or Eren?
Marco was more concerned about her welfare. Still in disbelief that she was standing in our vision, he asked, "Emalina, I'm so glad you're safe, but why haven't you scaled the wall yet?!"
"Me?" she asked in bewilderment. "Oh no, what about you guys? Why're you even still here?! Surely you heard the withdrawal signal?"
"We can't go anywhere," I knocked on my tank. "We're almost out of gas."
Widening her eyes, she twisted around to glance at everyone then gasped. "All of you?!" Those surrounding us nodded. "Shit...wait! Where the hell is the supply depot? They must have – !"
Taking hold of her shoulders, Connie turned Emalina in the direction of HQ, pointing far off into the distance where the fortress stood, currently being crawled on by titans like ants. "HQ is completely surrounded by titans. There's no way they can get out, or for us to get in."
"Son of a bitch..." she muttered under her breath.
"Emalina, you were with the Rear Guard, right?" Reiner stepped forward, my eyes landing on his as he studied Emalina up and down. "How is it back there?"
"We...we were able to get all the citizens evacuated safely. The withdrawal signal sounded not long after, then I came looking for you guys." Rubbing her face, she held her attention on HQ and I could see the wheels rotating in her head. "What're we gonna do?" she asked herself.
"Ema, why don't you at least take a break? Sit for a few minutes," Sasha offered, causing her best friend to smile. Dear god, I hadn't seen that smile in what seemed like days.
"No, can't risk it. I'm the one who probably has the most...oh no." Tensing, Emalina held a hand up to quiet everyone's voices; eyes flared, she quickly moved towards the center of the roof, head furiously scanning the surrounding area before making her way back towards us. "Everyone, get away from the edge of the building. Now!"
"Ema, what's wrong?" Sasha questioned, hands held over her heart.
"You look like you've seen a titan. Relax!" Swatting her shoulder, Emalina growled at Reiner.
Pulling her away, I seized her shoulders, having turned her attention to focus solely on me. "What do you hear?" During training, I discovered Emalina was just like Sasha; they both shared a deep instinctual awareness of their surroundings, and both were right nearly all the time. However, Emalina's awareness derived from her heightened sense of hearing; the woman could detect most sounds nobody could sense. In a situation like this, with or without her ability, I trusted Ema's word over anyone else's.
"There's titans approaching." Several people gasped, whispering to each other that she couldn't be right. "Two...maybe three."
"That's not funny, Emalina," one cadet blurted.
"We haven't seen one the whole time we've been here, there's no way!"
Growling deep within her throat, she pushed through those who wouldn't listen, removing both blades from their sheaths. "Believe whatever you want, but humor me and just stand in the middle of the fucking roof!" Jumping off the buildings edge, we all stood and watched as she flew through the air, making her way towards the closest lookout tower, ascending towards the peak. Steadily waiting, I could see her eyes move across the cadets scattered among the roofs, but it would only last a few seconds as she peered throughout the entire district.
And then the very silence surrounding us grew muted.
Thump.
Tensing, I wasn't the only cadet to freeze, turning over our shoulders to see a ten-meter titan casually making its way towards us. No one moved; no one spoke.
Thump.
Our heads moved right, only to find another titan staring us down several streets away.
"Oh fuck..." someone whispered.
"Emalina was right!"
"You should've listened," I muttered in anger. Daring to glance back at the female, even from my distance I could see the malicious grin she wore, her blades sharp and ready for the attack.
Whistling as loud as she could, she waved a hand up high screaming at the top of her lungs. "You stupid bastards! Up here!" Exerting her gas, Emalina ran down the side of the tower, a scream escaping her lips. Seconds later, she kicked herself off the wall, diving headfirst towards the ground. Only those who didn't truly know Emalina screamed her name while the rest of us merely watched; we knew what she could accomplish with her gear.
Detaching the wires at the last possible second, she skidded against the cobblestone street, bursting forward towards the closest titan. Its massive, outstretched hand fell directly in her path, yet she easily evaded the limb, maneuvering her way around as she twisted her body with an increase of her agility, a speed even I didn't know she possessed. Maintaining a consistent spiral, she flew across the titan's arm, slicing the limb, twirling around until she zoomed past the shoulder. Connecting the wired spears into its neck, she ignited her ODM and sliced the bastard clear through, killing it in one mark, just as we'd been taught.
With the increased speed, Emalina's momentum dragged her to the closest roof, her feet connecting and sliding against the tile, breaking the pieces one by one until she gradually slowed to a stop.
Taking a breath, I was entranced. Watching Emalina for three years against a dummy titan was one thing. Seeing this woman in person against the real beast? It was...extraordinary. I was terrified of these titans, yet Emalina turned the terror into an art. Her attacks her flawless. Most importantly – where the hell had she been hiding such speed in that small body?!
"Alright fucker, last one." Her voice echoed to our position. The cadets around me were in shock as I glanced around. By my side, Marco was wide-eyed, Connie couldn't close his mouth, and Sasha wouldn't stop chewing on her fingernails. Emalina sure did know how to make an impression.
"Emalina!" Several cadets yelled, with the rest of us locking on her across the street. The titan roared in her direction, slamming its massive fist into the roof, causing tile and dust to filter the air. Emalina barely managed to vault out of the way, zooming around the building to gain the best advantage against the monster. Weaving past the roof we were on, she circled around, making headway for the titan who had its eyes solely on her for its next meal. Opening its giant mouth, the titan aimed to swallow my friend whole. Stretching her entire frame backwards, Emalina threw her arms forward, detaching both blades from the handhelds and watched as they launched straight into the titan's eyes. Howling into the sky as it now suffered momentary blindness, Emalina used this opportunity to slice through the weak spot, killing yet another monster.
Threats eliminated, those around me cheered for her, while I watched her moves. She truly earned her spot as the top of our class. With her moves, Emalina was a titan slayer, and a beautiful one at that.
Thump, thump, thump.
Eyes moving slowly across the street, I froze. Running to the edge of the building, I scolded myself. There was nothing I could do. With practically no gas in either tank, my ability to use ODM was pointless, so I used the only weapon I still had: my voice. So, I screamed. "EMALINA!" Eyes seeking mine, she barely had a second to search the area as her body flew from its position, being flung through the air and crashing into the roof on the building across the way.
An abnormal ran through the streets, running straight into the building Emalina had just occupied, causing her to be thrown hundreds of feet away. We all watched as she collided against the tile, skidding until her body came to a stop, limbs mangled, refusing to move. Crying her name, I didn't care about the abnormal. Sure, my voice would probably attract it, but Emalina was more important; she would always be more important. Surprising us all, she slowly stood, shaking her arms and legs while checking every inch of her gear. Luckily, she had stood that moment just as the abnormal glanced in her direction, bursting with quickened speed to launch another attack. As Emalina jumped off the building to loop around towards its neck, the titan reached out and grabbed the wires, tightening its fist until she was pulled from the lack of movement.
Sasha screamed.
Marco walked towards my side.
Reiner was yelling her name.
Even Bertholdt was muttering to himself about Emalina getting away.
And yet, none of us could've predicted the titan would toss Emalina by the wires into the air, jumping up as it did so with its mouth wide open. Standing here, I was helpless; until I heard Emalina screaming. Except, she was screaming out of rage, not fear. As the titan jumped up, she fell down, blades ready to end the damn things life. With a push of the gas and body, Emalina evaded the titan's widening mouth, falling straight towards the back of its neck, cutting exactly one meter high and ten centimeters across.
In a matter of ten seconds, Emalina had turned a death encounter into a victory, as the titan fell lifeless in a burst of heated steam.
Trekking back towards us, she was instantly swarmed by others who exclaimed her prowess against the titans, wishing they could do what she just did. Smiling and gently nudging past them, she walked towards me and our friends, immediately being squashed by Sasha and Marco. "A-Alright guys, take it easy."
"Take it easy?!" Marco nearly yelled.
"What he said! Emalina, you're...you're a badass!" Sasha smiled.
"Come on, knock it off you two, I only did what we all learned in training."
"Yeah, except Shadis didn't teach any of us those moves. Where the hell did you get them, Emalina?" Reiner walked forward, arms crossed as he, Bertholdt and Annie eyed, curious to know about her hidden abilities.
Winking, Emalina only smiled brightly, clearly avoiding giving Reiner the true answer. "It's a secret."
As the threat of an attack gone, the cadets returned to their original positions; some held rejuvenated hope in their eyes, while some still claimed their death was imminent. Needing a breather, Emalina plopped down with arms over her legs and released a heavy sigh. Sasha kneeled in front and they spoke for a few minutes before she moved on to the others, using her tactics from earlier to raise their spirits into fighting their way towards the wall. Taking the seat beside her, I nudged Emalina's shoulder. Here she was, in the flesh by my side, and all I could do was nudge her shoulder. The woman had been on my mind all day since her kiss and I had nothing to say.
Until she leaned her head against me. "Jean?"
"Yeah, Ema?" I replied softly, my fingers slowly reaching towards hers as they intertwined.
In a choked voice, her words remained quiet, for my ears only. "I'm so glad you're alright..."
Wrapping an arm around her, I pulled the woman close, breathing in the scent of roses as my lips fell into her hair. "Me too, Ema...me too."
Removing the stray tear from her cheek, she smiled in my direction and my head reeled. "There is something you need to know." Eyebrows raised, I had no idea what she was about to say. With all that was going on, what could it be? Wait...is she gonna bring up our conversation from this morning? I questioned, but her words broke through my thoughts. "I ran into my mother during the evacuation."
"My mother?" Eyes widening, I tensed. "My mother! Is she ok? Where is she? Did she make it to the wall?!"
Chuckling, Emalina grabbed my hands and held them steady between our bodies. The gentle smile she wore had a calming effect on me as I exhaled. "Your mother is safe, Jean, I promise. During my rounds I found her running back to your house, so I took her there myself and escorted her to the wall."
"Oh fuck..." I was a terrible son. Being stationed to guard Trost's central district, I wasn't granted time to ensure my mother evacuated. Hell, I hadn't even thought of my mother this entire time; my attentions been solely on Emalina. "Thank you," I whispered, seeking her vision of sight. Cradling her chin, I pulled her face close. "Seriously Emalina, thank you for protecting my mother. I...I cannot..."
"Shhh," she placed a finger against my lips. "Your mother's important to me too, Jean. Your thanks is very much appreciated, but not necessary."
Holding her within my arms was a dream come true. It had been only a few hours, yet those hours could've been the death to either of us, doomed to never see or love each other again. "What...what did she return to the house for? Why did she risk her life?"
"Your mother went back home to get the portrait of you; that's all she grabbed."
Groaning, my head hung low. "My mother, she...risked her life for some stupid portrait?!" Of course, I was angry. Having the time to evacuate, my own mother decided to run back to the house to secure a stupid portrait of me she'd had for years.
"Not just any portrait, Jean. A portrait of you." Grabbing my chin, we stared at one another. As usual, I was mesmerized by the depth of her blue eyes; so deep and pure. How could a human such as her exist? More importantly, how could I be given the chance to fall in love with someone so angelic? "Listen to me, Jean. When I found your mother, she was frantic and determined to retrieve that portrait; she needed a reminder of her son in case something were to happen to you."
Dammit, she was right; Emalina was always right, constantly able to have me see a different perspective. Laying my head on her shoulder, I once more questioned my mother's safety; I had to make sure I would see her after this day. "You sure she's ok?"
"Yes," she answered, her warm breath tickling through my hair. "She made it to the other side of the wall before the Garrison closed the gate. There was, however, something I promised her."
Raising my head, I was curious. "And what was that?"
"I promised your mother that we would find her after this is all over and we would have dinner together again. She loved it and I want to make sure we keep that promise. She loves you very much Jean, I hope you know that."
"...I do." But I love you as well. "I don't know what's gonna happen today, but if we survive this, we will find her." Smiling, Emalina was pleased with my answer; then the corner of her lips fell downward, the silence to follow was loud. She rarely, if ever, fell silent with a frown on her face anymore. The female beside me was the Emalina I met at the beginning of training, who I hadn't seen in some time. "What's wrong?"
Opening and closing her mouth, she turned her head away. From my position, I could see the red growing across her cheeks, the depth floating towards her neck as she moved her whole body to face me. "Jean? I need to...a-about this morning...? W-What I was trying to s-say this morning was..."
"Emalina!" Startled by the sound of her name, my friend looked around to see Reiner called for her as he stepped forward. "You got any ideas about how we're supposed to get outa here?" Others surrounding us caught his words, all looking hopeless at her as she sighed before standing. Glancing between them and Headquarters, she shook her head.
"Honestly? I'm not sure. We're all bait if we stay here, and if we run, everyone would use whatever gas they had left just to escape any attacking titans."
"That's what I said!" Connie intervened. "I think it's pointless to sit around. It's obvious the supply depot isn't gonna show, so we should make our way to the wall."
"You wanna risk getting eaten, Connie?" someone asked, angered tinted their voice.
"I never said we would," the short man answered coolly.
"If we leave, we will die!"
"And if you stay on this roof, there's also the chance you will die." Emalina stepped forward. "If I hadn't been here, what would you guys have done? Huh?" The cadet lowered his gaze, unable to provide a reasonable answer.
"So what do you propose we do then?"
Crossing her arms, Emalina focused her attention on thinking, needing a moment to devise a plan that would save everyone stranded. Glancing over at me, I walked towards them. Watching the titans crawl over Headquarters wasn't a sign of hope; if anything, it was a symbol of our doom. "There's only one thing we can do," she finally said.
"And what's that?" Bertholdt asked, as he and Annie stared in our direction. Opening her mouth to explain her plan, a loud clash against the tile had us all twisting around to see who it was.
"Mikasa! Weren't you with the Rear Guard too?!"
Ignoring the cadet, Mikasa made her way straight towards us, focusing her attention on the blonde cadet. "Annie!" she cried. "I know how bad things have gotten. It's selfish, putting personal matters on the forefront, but have you seen Eren's squad?"
In her usual stoic demeanor, she answered, knowing full well what Mikasa was about to discover. "Some squads made it back, but I don't know about Eren's."
"We found Armin," Reiner pointed across the roof. "He's over there."
We all watched as she ran towards Armin, her mission to find Eren being the top priority on her list. Fury surged through my blood, angry at what the suicidal maniac had said and did to Emalina last night. The fact she was set on searching for him than to check on everyone else demonstrated the difference between her and Emalina. I'd hoped, but couldn't say if I was the person Emalina wanted to see the most when she found our location. Despite what she was feeling, she put side her wants to speak with the other survivors. Emalina deserved to graduate at the top of our class, for more reasons than her strength and abilities alone. Maybe Eren and Mikasa did belong together; their naivete astounded me.
"They were..." Armin's voice was quiet; his voice didn't need to be loud to hear what was tearing his heart to shreds. "The cadets of squad thirty-four...Thomas Wagner...Nack Tierce...Milieus Zeremski...Mina Carolina...Eren Jaeger...These brave five upheld their duties, and they died valiantly on the field of battle!"
Silence.
Could it be true?
"Please, no..." Sasha whispered.
Emalina covered her mouth, disbelief flashed across her face as Connie and I stared at Armin.
"His whole squad was wiped out?"
"Holy shit..." Emalina muttered. Grasping her hand tightly, I refused to let go. She neither turned nor looked at me, but the tightness of her returned grasp meant she knew I was there. Armin's next words were crude against himself; even I couldn't believe what I'd heard. The blonde male believe he should've died in Eren's stead. Why?! Was it all just to make Mikasa happy? What the fuck was so special about Eren Jaeger?! Disregarding my thoughts, even I couldn't bash on Jaeger; the damn fool had died after all. No one in death deserves to be spoken of in an ill manner, regardless of how much I hated his guts.
Speaking once more with Armin, Mikasa raised herself off the tile and spoke to Marco as she walked towards the edge of the building. "Marco, if we eliminate or bypass the titans at HQ, we can refuel our gear, allowing us to get back over the wall. Is that assessment correct?"
"Uhh, well, yeah I guess so, sure. But there's just too many of them out there; even with you and Emalina on point!"
"I can do it." We all eyed her suspiciously. "I'm strong, real strong!" Pulling the blades from their sheaths, Mikasa raised the metal high. "None of you come close! You hear me? I am a warrior! Know this: I have the power to slay all of the titans that block our path. Even if I have to do it alone. As far as I'm concerned, I am surrounded by a bunch of unskilled, cowardly worms." Dropping her hand midair, Mikasa held the sword straight at Emalina, narrowing her eyes in disgust. "You disappoint me, Emalina. How can you just sit here and twiddle your thumbs? I don't need you, I can do this all on my own. Keep sitting on your ass and watch how I do it."
Narrowing her eyes in return, Emalina tensed, her body defensive as neither she nor Mikasa looked away.
"Wait, Mikasa! Are you out of your mind?!" one female cadet yelled. "That's crazy!"
"Come on Mikasa, don't treat Emalina like that!" Sasha hollered in irritation. "Marco's right, there's too may for you alone! You and Emalina are the only ones who can eliminate the titans. You can't beat them by yourself!"
Ignoring Sasha's statement, she nonchalantly answered, "If I can't beat them then I die, but...if I win, then I live. And the only way to win is to fight!" And then she jumped straight off the roof, zooming back and forth across the district, making headway for Headquarters. As her frame disappeared from sight, everyone turned to the woman by my side.
"Ema?" Sasha appeared by her side in a flash. "What should we do?" Blinking, she would never admit it, but Emalina had been attacked once more, and I doubt I'd ever understand why. Withholding her answer, she released my hand and walked to the same spot Mikasa last held. Gaze flowing across the crowd, she smiled, pulling both blades from the sheath.
"You all want to survive, right?" From my view, everyone nodded. "Then we get off of our asses and move! Living doesn't happen by standing on these roofs, it requires action; so if you wanna see the light of day once more, then you have to risk the chance of death. Trying to survive is a more honorable death than giving up, and I was taught to never give in until I die. To have no regrets!" Soaring as Mikasa had, Emalina flew off into the distance, her form headed straight for Headquarters as we all stood silently.
"That's the woman I fell in love with." As the corners of my lips raised gently, I held my blades tightly in both hands, the skin still warm from her blessed touch. Clenching my teeth as I prepared to battle my way through life or death, I screamed at the other cadets, hand held high with my blade. I was ready to chase after Emalina, to follow her lead in order to live. No regrets, huh? Then I better get a move on. "Hey! Don't just stand there! We weren't taught to let our comrades fight alone, and I will not allow Emalina to die because you all are just a bunch of cowards. Unless you're gonna fight like her, stay out my way!"
Running off the building, I could hear the screams from the remaining cadets loud and clear, their boots stomping against tile as they followed. Far off ahead, I could see Mikasa taking down one titan after another. Those she ignored were cut down by Emalina, leaving a clear path for those who were low on blades or had none at all.
"Hurry up!" I screamed, edging my gas just enough that I would keep her within my sight. "Follow Emalina! Avoid fighting if you can! And get to HQ before you run out of gas!"
On foot, Headquarters was a fair distance away. By the power of ODM gear when needed, we were inching our way closer by the second. My attention fixated solely on Emalina, though Connie's statement on Mikasa had my eyes switch targets. "Whoa, Mikasa's a badass too. How is she going so fast?"
"Because she's using too much gas!" Armin yelled over the wind as we watching her speed faster and faster. We managed to move across several streets, observing the fallen bodies of slaughtered titans, continuing to move forward. Armin screamed for her name as her gas finally gave out, Mikasa's body falling towards the building down below, crashing into the street.
"Damn!" I yelled, watching as Connie flew next to me.
"Jean! You lead the rest to HQ! I'm going after Armin! Help the others and protect Emalina!" Watching him fly off, I managed to catch Emalina glancing back at me, her eyes following our friends to save our comrade. With all that had happened between her and Mikasa, I wondered what she was thinking.
~ oOo ~
Point of View
Emalina
Scanning the area to see where Mikasa fell, I debated about following Armin and Connie to assist with the rescue. Yeah, Mikasa currently wasn't my favorite person at the moment, yet she was still a comrade and I would risk my life to save another soldier. Especially one I'd trained with for three damn years. From behind, I could hear Connie yell at Jean to stay with me and the others, that they would meet us all at HQ once they found her. Catching Jean's eye, I'm glad he stayed. Our comrade was in danger and I was more worried about him staying by my side rather than looking for her. Did that make me a bad person?
Vigorously shaking my head, I banished such ill thoughts. No, I can't think like that. I refuse to stoop so low. There are others behind who need my protection. I can grant them that by slaying these monsters!
Slashing through one swiftly, the titans blood evaporated from my skin as I maneuvered my body around corners and over houses. The others ran across the rooftops, avoiding in using their gas as much as possible for they were almost running on fumes. Reaching a point where we were almost halfway to HQ, I lowered myself to the closest building, and looked straight ahead, not even acknowledging Jean as he landed by my side.
"It's no use," he spat. "We're not getting anywhere near Headquarters."
"It'll take some time since most of you are on foot," I said.
He glanced down at the street below, grimacing as several three-meter titans crawled about, clawing at the building to reach us. "Yeah, unless we wanna be eaten."
"HELP!" Running to the opposite side, we noticed Tom on the street, hurriedly pushing his handheld; sadly, he was out of gas and knew his end was near.
"Son of a..." I growled.
"Tom! I'm coming!"
"Wait for us!"
Three individuals jumped after him, just as he was caught in the hands of a smaller titan, though they were too late. One was caught in midair, his entire midsection crushed by the titan's hand; another hung by the hands as they were eaten. Male, female – it didn't matter. The blood curling agony of screams rang across our ears, beating down on our inability to save them.
All I could do was watch. Thick, red blood painted the streets in a terrifying masterpiece. One by one they left, their lifespan expired, consumed by a menacing creature who could do nothing but smile at their prey. At my side, Jean clench his teeth while tightened on his handhelds. Watching him witness the death of his comrades was horrifying. Jean refused to look away, eyes wide at the sight of blood and unmoving limbs.
"I wasn't meant to lead." Jean's voice was so quiet I barely heard his words. Raising my eyes up at him, his face spoke a thousand words he would never state out loud. "I was the last person who should've been given the reins."
"Jean..." In a fixated state, he slowly turned towards me, face wide and fearful of what he was witnessing. "That's not true," I argued.
"Do you trust me?"
"Huh?" I didn't understand. Did he hear me?
"I have a plan; do you trust me?" His expression pleaded for me to, though Jean never had to ask.
"With my life."
Nodding, he glanced back at the others who were scared of the demise before them. "Let's go! Make a break for HQ while they're distracted!" Taking hold of my hand, Jean pulled me alongside him as we raced across the roofs, ignoring the deaths of our comrades below. The others followed and we all continued towards Headquarters. I had my own plan how we were to breach the building still crawling with titans, but Jean apparently had one of his own, so I would follow his.
I would need to speak with him later about what he said. Jean didn't believe he could be a leader? Bullshit, absolute crap. The man was born to lead, whether he could see it or not. As we momentarily used our gas, we dropped to another roof and ran as fast as possible. Marco caught up with us as he appeared by our side. "Jean!" he caught the male's attention. "You really came through for us man, we owe you big time." Jean stared at Marco. It seemed our freckled friend agreed with what I already knew. "I'm serious, we're alive because of you! Like Ema and I have said – you make a great leader!"
"Tch, easy with that crap, we're not out of this yet!"
Shifting from running on tile to zooming through the air, any remaining cadets copied our movements. Headquarters was within sight, and judging from our current position, I estimated it would be mere minutes before we infiltrated the building. Remaining cautious, we were lucky to not have run into any titans while mobilized with ODM. Luck had nothing to do with it as my thoughts raged against those we have lost, and the deaths we witnessed firsthand. This world is vindictive towards humans, as if mere existence was a parasite against the universe. In the process of rounding a sharp corner, my eyes bulged; three titans blocked the street. Weaving around their heads, those in front made it through, neither of the monsters even tried to grab their limbs.
Sadly, we can't all win, can we?
Barely flying past the first two, Jean was grabbed by the last beast, its hand firmly holding his entire leg as the copper-blonde male squirmed and flailed against his attacker "Jean!" I screeched, my voice echoing across the distance between us. Thinking quickly, he struck his blade down against the flesh, slicing clean through the titan's forefinger, giving him the moment to accelerate his gas and escape its clutch. Peering back at me, Jean gave me a thumbs up and I smiled, though it did little to still my beating heart.
Sighing heavily, I swallowed my fear and continued to move. Flying through the street, I noticed a titan appeared from around the upcoming corner. I knew there were too many, but where were they all coming from? Marco narrowly avoided being caught in its grasp as I took down the beast, accelerating my gas to escape the others coming from the same path. Speed increased just enough I was slightly ahead of my male friends, ready to kill any other titan I felt was a threat to those still fighting their way through.
Being tossed by the wires, my body suddenly bobbed, shuddering up and down my gear trembled, being loosened where the metal spikes clasped into the buildings wall. Next thing, I was falling, body heavily weighed down as I plummeted to earth.
"J-Jean...! JEAN!"
Flailing, any gas remaining in my tank finally depleted, my body plunging towards the cobblestone street. I screamed and cried, holding my hand to reach for the man I trusted most. Marco peered back, eyes scared to see me fall. I could hear nothing, only see my freckled friend turn but stopped when Jean altered directions, risking his life to save mine. His voice penetrated deep within my hearing; in that moment, his voice was liquid, going through one ear and out the other. It was just as our first exam during training. This time, there was no one to pinpoint for tampering my gear. This time, I was at fault, having overestimated any remaining gas I had left.
"Emalina!" Skin wrapped around my wrist, eyes blinking against the gray sky just as the sun peeked its way through the clouds. Jean's face came into view as he tugged my body against his, chest against chest. On instinct, my arms wrapped around his neck, and with my legs nowhere to go, they dangled against his. Changing his direction once more, he was swift in catching up to Marco at the front, whose face was thrilled and scared all the same. "Hold on Ema!" Jean yelled as my arms tightened. I would never let go. In life and death, I would always hold onto this man.
"Are you alright?" he asked. Nodding was my only answer, not sure if my voice was strong enough for a verbal answer. "We're close – just hang on a little longer!"
Thrusting forward, Jean activated his spikes, giving him one last jolt of momentum as we closed in on Headquarters. Igniting the wires, one of the spears slashed through my side, driving its sharpened tip into my flesh, leaving me gasping as I jammed teeth into my lip. Clenching, I withheld a scream deep inside my soul. Wave after wave of penetrating pain was nauseating, yet I refused to speak up. The shock hurt the most, I bet it's just a scratch, my mind deceived.
"Ema!" Shaking myself at the sound of his voice, Jean held my tightly. "Do you trust me?" he repeated the same question from earlier.
Gathering as much strength possible, I tried not to stutter, the stinging in my side becoming unbearable, despite managing to give the same reply. "W-With my life, Jean. Always."
"Then hang on, this is gonna be rough!" Holding him tighter, Jean encased my body with his arms. I could feel him stretch his legs forward, leaving me to guess what he was about to do as I couldn't see. Releasing a hearty battle-cry, it took only seconds before his feet penetrated thick glass, our bodies thrown and tossed upon impact, rolling against the wood flooring. Limp against the ground, Jean held my close as he raised to his knees, scanning the room for those who made it. The silence was deafening as I lay on the floor waiting for the others to arrive. Seconds later, the other windows crashed with all remaining survivors breathing heavily at their success.
Slowly moving to stand, I noticed Jean covered with face with a hand, torment written across his expression. He was struggling with his decisions; leaving those who were about to die to save himself and the others. Glancing at my struggle to stand, he took my hand and guided me to my feet; the additional discomfort from crashing through the window allowed me to hide the strain in my side. Luckily, Jean didn't question my slow movements, though still made sure I was alright. Blinking, he looked a few feet ahead where he saw two cadets huddled under an overturned desk.
"Hold on a second," he stated gravely, disbelief coating his tone. "You guys are with the supply team." The male barely muttered a yeah as Jean grabbed the cadet by his jacket collar. Dragging him to his feet, Jean socked the male, his fist connecting with the man's jaw and fell to the ground, blood slightly pooling from his lip. Marco ran up from behind, grabbing Jean underneath the arms to hold him back as he shook in anger.
"Jean, stop!"
"You cowards! You left us out there on our own! People are dead because you didn't have the guts to do your job!"
The female with blood coating one side of her face crawled from underneath the desk, checking the male currently unconscious on the floor. "The titans were coming at us from every angle! They overran the supply room, ok?!" Her whiny voice pierced my ears and as infuriated as I was, my mind couldn't be as furious as Jean. The look she had when we crashed into the room, the blood coating her face; something horrifying must've been seen and the poor woman is probably scarred. Fuck though, we risked our lives to do the job we were given, and they should've as well.
"It's your job to deal with it and back us up anyway! Because of you, she could've died!" Pointing in my direction, I froze as all eyes turned on me. Holding my side, I stared at Jean, limbs shaking at his words. "Did you hear me? She could've fucking died and her blood would've been on your hands!"
As he grew quiet, my ears perked. A sharp, high pitched whistling noise caught my attention as I glanced towards the opposite end of the room. Reiner must've heard it too, his voice echoing across the room a few moments later. "Hit the deck!" Seconds later, the wall exploded, creating a giant hole as a titan's face peered within; it had thrown itself against the building, having sensed our body heat. The blast shoved me off my feet as I was flung against the closest bookcase, both knees collapsing as I fell. Marco released Jean as he ran towards my side, lifting me to my feet.
"Emalina!"
I coughed, having swallowed the dust and dirt floating within the air. "I'm fine," my voice rasped. Around us, cadets screamed and ran towards the inner sections of the building while we remained, too fixated on the faces staring back at us. We were motionless as Jean slightly trembled next to me. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of a way out, something we could do to fucking win. Nothing came to mind and I sighed.
"...what?!"
Snapping my eyes open, I watched as a titan sized fist crashed into the two monsters watching us, their bodies smacked against the ground. A fifteen-meter titan walked across our path, its long, dark brown hair and creepy-ass smile was unnerving. Something was different about this titan though. Most would acknowledge any humans they could sense; this one completely ignored us, for its prey were now the titans still surrounding the building.
"What...in the actual fuck was that...?!" Stepping forward, I held myself against the wall, peering out to see it punching other titans and kicking its feet into their weak spot behind the neck. Jean stood open mouthed, unable to answer as the window beside him suddenly burst, shards of glass raining down upon us.
Mikasa, Connie and Armin were alive!
"W-Whoa, that was a close one!" Connie breathed, tapping his gas tank. Jean and I stared blankly at the three. "I was running on fumes. But we made it!"
Dumbfounded, Jean walked towards them. "I – you – wha'? Am I dreaming this?" he asked himself quietly.
Clapping Armin on the back, Connie held a wide grin on his face. "You're a certified genius! From now on as far as I'm concerned, your word is law!" Smiling up at us, Connie stood, excitedly pointing towards the mysterious titan who was still ignoring us. "Check it out! We found an abnormal that's got a bone to pick with its own kind. And the best part? He couldn't give a crap about us!"
"No way..." I muttered.
"That's right, you heard me!" my bald man continued. "This big, beautiful s.o.b. is our ticket outa here!"
"You mean like fighting fire with fire?" a cadet asked.
"Connie listen to yourself, a titan's not going to help us!" Jean exclaimed, in denial of Connie's statements. "You're out of your mind if you think this could work."
"It is working." Mikasa stepped in, halting Jean's words. "For whatever reason, he's rampaging against them. Stand back and let him do it; trust me, you'll see."
Outside, the titan roared as it slammed its fist into another, sending the sucker flying down the street. Holding onto broken sections of the stone wall, I peered out as far possible, highly intrigued about this creature and why it was demonstrating opposite behavior for a titan. Waiting for another titan to attack, the fifteen-meter stood waiting and I couldn't help but whistle and holler in its direction. Around me, the others screamed my name, some trying to pull me away from the edge but I flung their arms off, curious to see what would happen.
"Emalina, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Turning its massive head in our direction, the cadets behind me gasped and backed away towards the door if they needed to run. I, on the other hand, held my ground. It's large, greenish-blue eyes were familiar in some way, and the narrowed expression was suspicious; I wasn't afraid. If anything, this proved Connie and Mikasa's words, for the titan stared then made way to thrash and kick the other titans still alive.
"That's what I was doing," I emphasized. "He looked straight at us and did nothing. Watch! He prefers to attack the other titans instead of us!"
"Fuck..." Jean said, grasping my arm to pull me away from the broken ledge.
"Still," Mikasa said. "What choice do we have anyways?"
"If everything you've said is true, which, at this point, I believe...then he is our best chance at surviving. We have nothing to lose. We've risked our lives just getting here, let's use the distraction and refuel our equipment."
Agreeing, we all moved into the central part of the building towards the elevator leading into the storage room. Knowing it was overrun with several titans, we hauled the lift up and discussed a plan while Jean and others went to see if there were available weapons lying around. A majority of the cadets lounged around while Marco and Armin kneeled next to outline of the storage room, discussing our options.
"We do have an advantage," my freckled friend pointed out. "With him on a rampage outside, they won't attempt in king this building."
"That's all well and good, but what's to keep him from turning on us once he's done?" Reiner pointed out.
With no other answer, Connie only replied, "Guess we'll worry about that when we're safe."
"Yeah, at least he's buying us a little time."
"Look at it this way," both males and Annie glanced at me. "We can forget about him for the time being to refuel our equipment. If he does turn and attack, at least we'll have a stronger advantage than we do now. We'll be armed and ready, if need be."
Reiner smiled. "She does have a point."
"Good news!" Jean's voice echoed from down the hall as he and several other cadets carried large, rectangular boxes. "Courtesy of the Military Police!" Glancing down at the wood, he frowned. "...and covered with a layer of dust."
Opening each one, we discovered they were full of buckshot rifles and spare ammunition. Passing a gun to the majority of the survivors, we all gathered around the map Armin had been examining. Holding the gun across my shoulders, I wrapped my arms over the device as I watched Jean and Armin talk about what worked versus what we had. Stretching my arms in such a way pulsated in enormous suffering, my side crying out, begging to stop the stinging, the throbbing. It's just a scratch, I repeated in my head. It's not that big a deal. Focusing on the discussion at hand, whatever plan we agreed upon, it would take precision, accuracy and diligence from our comrades if we were to survive.
"Are you absolutely sure buckshot is the way to go? Seems like we might as well throw spit wads at them. I mean, c'mon guys...are guns even effective?"
Considering Jean's answer, Armin sighed. "I don't know, but they're bound to be better than nothing. We're looking at seven titans in the supply room of the four-meters tall variety. If we time this perfectly, this much ammo outa be enough to do the trick." Raising his eyes up to me, Armin asked, "What do you think, Emalina?" Everyone moved their attention to me.
"W-Why ask me?"
"Because you're perceptive, and thorough in analyzing any situation. I've devised a plan, but I want to hear anything thoughts you might have."
"I-I...well..."
"Come on girl!" Reiner slapped me hard on the back, my eyes squinted in pain as I refrained from giving away of my injury. "Tell us what you're thinking!"
Rolling my eyes, I knelt down, fingers tracing over the map. "Considering the supply room is too small to maneuver ODM gear, that is out. However, one disadvantage the titans have is they're more prone to quickly grab someone when it's more chaotic. I believe...we should create a diversion... Here!" Pointing my finger on the map, I could see Armin smile, as if my thoughts matched his. "There's rafters high against the ceiling, we could hide several people up there to strike down the titans; one person per titan."
"Ok sure, but how do we get the titans into place?" Connie questioned, watching us both.
"We have guns, ammo and the elevator to use. Armin? Were you considering having people use guns to distract and blind the titans?"
"Yes," he frowned. "I was thinking those in the elevator are to be the diversion, use the guns to blind – "
"Wait...why blind them?" someone asked.
"Because..." Heat rose to my cheeks as all eyes stayed on me. Why must everyone look at me when I speak? "We all know the titans weak spot is the back of their neck. Strike there and they die. If you hit anywhere else, that spot will regenerate within a matter of seconds or minutes, depending where you struck." Circling my finger around the central square of the room where the elevator would land, I smiled. "Once the elevator drops, all the titans will form around it. Once they get close enough...BANG!"
"Emalina's right. So here's what we're gonna do. Step one: lower a group into the area via lift to get the titans attention." Raising his hand to me, I provided the next part as I stood, needing to walk around as my muscles were beginning to cramp.
"Step two: when the titans get within range, the group will fire in all four directions, momentarily blinding each one. Though their part in blinding the beasts is vital, this last part will either save or murder us all."
"As Emalina stated earlier, there's seven titans, so we'll need seven people to hide up in the rafters. Once the group finishes their ammo rounds, each will jump down and strike their vital point. If this all works, all will go down instantly; we can then fuel our tanks and get over the wall. That's the plan."
"So...who'll be the seven that will make or break this plan?" someone called from the back.
"We need the best of those who have physically mastered their blades. Mikasa, Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, Connie, Sasha, and Jean." My eyes landed on his last, his expression neutral until the same individual asked me another question.
"What about you Emalina? You were the top of our class, why won't you risk your life for us?"
"Huh? I-I..."
"Because she's sitting this one out." Standing, Jean moved to my position, firmly holding his gun upon his shoulders, glaring at everyone who questioned his statement. "She'll be in the lift with the others." Narrowing his eyes, he said quietly, "Anyone got a problem with that?" Soft whispers and mumbles echoed across the room, but no one crossed Jean's answer, leaving the room awkwardly silent as I stood there. I was thankful, to say the least.
"I'm sorry." Armin grabbed our attention. "I wish we could've come up with a better plan with a higher chance of survival."
"Psh, seems like a sound plan," Reiner offered with a smile.
"When you get right down to it the risk is the same for everyone; it doesn't really matter who goes." Even Annie gave her own compliment on Armin's plan.
"Guys, I'm willing to be talked out of this plan if it's too risky," Armin pleaded.
"Armin, don't be so hard on yourself. You and Emalina thought of this plan together, and in the minimal time you two thought it out, the plan sounds strong for being our only option." Marco explained.
"Emalina..." Armin whispered, looking at me.
"This plans on both of us if something goes wrong." Walking over to the blonde, I patted his shoulder with an encouraging smile. "But we did good Armin, this plan is foolproof." Mikasa began speaking with Armin as well when the lift gate suddenly jolted to the ground.
"Alright, the lifts ready to go and guns are loaded to the stocks. Let's go kill some titans."
Watching those who were to enter the lift filed through, Jean grabbed my elbow and pulled me back. He opened his mouth to speak but I jumped the gun before he could. "Why did you say that, Jean?"
"Ema...I dunno, but I have a feeling something's gonna happen. Besides, don't think I haven't noticed." Gulping, I hoped he couldn't see my eyes bulge. Did he know about my side? Fuck, I don't want Jean to blame himself; it's not that big of a deal. "When we crashed through the window, you landed pretty hard, huh?"
"The window? Oh, yeah, the window."
"You're limping slightly, so I thought maybe you hit something when we fell. Are you alright?" His eyes were wide with concern and I could do nothing but love the man more. Who wouldn't?
I smiled appreciatingly. "I will be. I'm tough, remember?"
"How could I not?" he grinned.
"Emalina!" Marco called.
Giving one last look at Jean, I grabbed the gun and made to stand in the center of the lift. The other seven took only their handhelds and blades, walking down the stairs to climb the rafters and wait. We stalled for a few moments before descending. Once in the supply room, we stopped the lift until we were eye level with the titans. Marco counted and noted there were still only seven. We glanced upward to find the others had their place and were lying in wait for us to finish our side of the job. Standing between Marco and Armin, all four sides were covered with guns, aimed directly at the beasts, who casually making their way towards us.
"Alright, nice and easy," Marco whispered.
One cadet squirmed and groaned when the closest titan swiftly moved its head in our direction. "Don't lose your cool!" He snapped. "Fire only when they're all within range!" Marco continued to whisper steady as the titans grew closer. My fingers rested on the trigger, grip firm and calm, ready to blind these bastards and send them to hell. The thumps of their feet grew louder as they edged against the lift, their eyes right at their end of our barrels.
"FIRE!"
Ammunition blasted within the room, my gun jolting against my shoulder while shot after shot went directly through their eyeballs. Some growled and roared; titan steam floating throughout the room as their regenerative powers kicked into action. Those on the rafters quickly moved. Figures flying down from the ceiling, all individuals sliced through the necks on their targets as they fell towards the ground. Five titan bodies fell dead.
"Sasha and Connie missed!" Bertholdt yelled.
From the lift, I watched as the creepy-eyed titan confronted Sasha, hurling itself in her direction. She threw her body away, blades being tossed towards the floor a mere second before the titan slammed into the ground. Shoving my gun into Marco's chest, I hopped over the railing next to my best friend and grasped her blades. Jumping against the stone pillar to grant me height, my body swung down and sliced through its thick skin, blood coating my limbs. One titan remaining, I jumped against the pillar once more, grappled the iron torch and launched myself onto the titan's arm. Echoes of my name screeched against my eardrum, the titan thrashed its other limb towards me, but I was able to dodge by climbing up to its head where I threw myself down, eliminating the titan by mutilating its weak spot.
Crashing dead upon the floor, I fell nimbly to my feet, heavy breaths escaped my lips, enjoying the view of my work. Head shaking side to side, my feet ran towards Sasha as she crawled towards me. "E-Emalina! You saved my life!"
Dropping to my knees, I hugged her tightly. "Sasha are you alright?!"
"Y-Yes! All because of you!" Flinging her arms around me, we chuckled despite the situation. Connie suddenly appeared on his knees and hugged me as well.
"I freaking love you girl! You seriously are a fucking badass!"
Pushing their limbs away, I glanced between the two of them. "There is no need to thank me. That's what comrades and friends do. Next time though, please don't miss, ok?" my voice chuckled, failing in attempt to make light of their slipup. They hastily nodded.
Reiner smirked as he said, "Wow Emalina, by the skin of your teeth; damn lucky you didn't end up worse off."
Holding his hand out for me to take, I slowly stood. Adrenaline coursed within my veins that was gradually fading away. "That's the definition of being a soldier, isn't it?" I smirked back. From my peripheral, Jean moved around the room, examining all the titan's bodies before grabbing everyone's attention.
"They're all dead!" he claimed. "Start loading supplies and make way for the wall!" Smiles erupted across the faces of those in the lift. Marco's began to fade, eyes rolling into his head as his knees gave way, only for Armin to grasp his arm to keep him upright. They lowered the lift to the ground as everyone dispersed in different directions to grab their gear, refuel their gas and restock blades.
Gear perched by my hips, Marco, Jean and I chose to sit on several crates close to the gas tanks, slowly filling one at a time. There was chit chat and excitement in the air. People were happy they had a chance to win. Others thanked the mysterious titan outside, but I was more concerned with Sasha across the room. She was teary-eyed that she failed her attacked and apologized to the titan. By her side, Connie yelled that she could feel sorry after they were safe behind the wall. The entire scene was hilarious, and I made note to speak with her once we were safe. My best friend needed to know that she attempted an attack and lived. There was no shame in what she had done.
"Listen man, what you said earlier about me being a leader and all?" Muttering his words, Jean caught my attention, speaking to Marco while focusing on his tank. "Don't talk to me like that again, alright?"
Ignoring his request, Marco put one tank aside and began filling another. "Please don't take this the wrong way," he started. Sitting beside Jean, I listened, curious what both had to say. "But I don't think you're a good leader because you're strong. I think you're a good leader because you know what it means to be weak. You're one of us, scared out of your mind just like we all are. It makes you alert, sympathetic. Jean," my freckled friend looked at Jean. "You made a damn good call out there, had me running for my life; you're why I can say this."
Aww, this is fucking adorable! I screamed in my head. As the two men stared at each other, I chuckled, hiding my laugh behind a hand. "Marco's right, Jean," I added. With their eyes on me now, I placed both gas tanks, completely full, to my side, swinging my body in their direction, crossing one leg over the other. "Honestly, I think you're more empathetic; you get where the pain of others comes from. You see the value in life. And because you don't want to die, your ability to determine which decision is wise becomes an advantage."
Scoffing away our reasoning, the man still grinned; it was small, but the smile was still there. "Geez, what the hell has gotten into you two?"
"Nothing sweetie, we're only stating the truth." Uncrossing my legs, my palms connected with the wood of the crate as I stared upwards towards the ceiling. "Marco and I believe in you. You know we wouldn't claim something unless it was true." Pushing myself off the crate, I hopped down, boots stomping against the stone floor. The moment my frame stood straight, a choke caught my throat, hands flinging to my side as I crumbled, falling limb to the fall in a mangled ball of agony. Crying out as I fell, I held my side, the clothing of my shirt damp. Only then, did I fear the worst.
"What the...? Ema? Ema!" Crouched by my side in an instant, Jean and Marco glanced over me, not sure what happened. Swallowing my unease, I pried my hand away into the flame of light; dark liquid glistened off my fingers, burning bright red. "Oh shit," he muttered, pulling my hand closer. Not waiting for an answer, Jean rolled me onto my uninjured side, hastily removing my jacket as both my friends gasped. Muttering echoed throughout the room and when Sasha trekked my way, she gasped too.
"Oh my god!" Glancing down, I could barely make out a large, black stain on my blue shirt, right where my injury was. Meeting my eye, Jean tenderly pulled my shirt up as I hissed, the fabric caught in areas where the blood had dried onto the skin.
"Jean...that's not good," Marco stated fingers holding my shirt up as Jean inspected the wound.
"Someone get me water and a cloth, now!" he screeched. Connie and Sasha scrambled around, pulling Reiner and Bertholdt with them. Probing fingers gently pulled at skin. Trying to see better within the dimmed light, my friends cursed. When the items were brought, Jean slowly poured water over the wound to clean best as he could before wiping the blood away. I suddenly screamed and whimpered when a rough edge of the cloth pulled against torn skin, causing my body to lurch away.
"No, don't do that Ema! We need to get this cleaned up! Sasha." Grabbing her attention, he gave her and Connie instructions to retrieve any medical supplies they could; gauze, wrappings, some alcohol if there was any. Jolting away in search of the materials, my eyes fell closed. Mortification falling upon my skin with all the prying eyes. Wiping my forehead of stray hair, Marco moved to sit behind me and laid my head in his lap as a pillow. Taking measures into his own hands, Jean turned to everyone else and instructed them to go across the room for privacy. Silently, they listened and I was thankful.
"Ema...what happened?" Marco asked softly, tenderly playing with my hair as I whimpered. Avoiding their gaze, I cried, finally surrendering to the pain. I shook my head as an answer.
"Please, Emalina. Where did this come from? When?" Looking at Jean, he held the cloth against my side to stop the bleeding. "Please," he begged.
Breathing sharply, I slightly bent forward to see the damage, having not inspected the injury at all since it happened. Mouth falling open in shock, the skin was cut from back to front, almost wrapping the entire left side of my body. The incision was thick and seemed fairly deep, the torn skin jagged in some areas as blood leaked through. "Don't," I mustered to speak. "Don't be mad or hate me."
"Never!" Marco cried. "We just want to help, Ema."
Crying out again as the copper-blonde slowly poured more water over the wound I stared at the male. "Your wire," I answered looking at Jean, his eyebrow quirked in confusion. "When you used it last before we crashed through the window, it speared my side."
Grimacing, Jean expression tuned dark. Eyes moving back and forth, he was looking back on the last hour. "That's why you were limping," he stated.
"Yes. I didn't want to say anything..."
"No, you're injured Emalina, you can't hide something like this from us," he growled. Angry at himself, the gentleness of his touch spoke differently.
I winced again. "I'm so sorry..."
Marco sighed. "How bad is it, Jean?"
"It's hard to tell. All the movement she's done combined with her clothing and harnesses has irritated the skin, that's why it keeps bleeding. She's definitely going to needs stitches."
"Jean, we got it!" Sasha called. Running up to him, the two returned with the supplies. "Oh, Emalina..." she said, dropping to my level and grabbed my hand. Examining the wound, she said, "Will you guys please go over there? I'll take care of this."
"I'm not leaving her!" Jean yelled.
"Me neither!" Marco added.
Sighing, Sasha took hold of Jean's elbow, dragging him aside. Only a few steps away, I could hear their hushed whispers loud and clear. "Look," she whispered. "I know how you feel about Ema, we all do. But right now, I think it'd be best if I took over from here."
"What, why?!"
"Jean, tell me this. How did she get the injury?" Quickly, he recounted what I told him. "See, I just got back and didn't know, but judging by her expression, and the fact she is avoiding eye contact with you, Ema is feeling guilty. My guess is she didn't want to say anything in the prospect she might upset you."
"How could I not be upset? It's my fault this happened!"
"But it wasn't intentional. Listen, I'll take care of the wound. Is her gear ready? Gas all full?"
"I'm not sure." Sighing, Sasha compromised; she would finish with my gear and he would bandage my side, knowing Jean wouldn't budge on his decision to take care of me. As she sat on the crates a few feet behind Jean, she kept an eye on me as I smiled at her. The stinging had gradually diminished, but the smolder of the fire continued to ache.
Using the same cloth, Jean carefully removed as much blood from the surrounding skin as possible. "Ema, what're you wanting me to do about the blood that's...l-lower?"
Definitely not looking his way, my cheeks burned. "Um...I-I can take care of that once we're o-over the wall."
"O-Ok," he replied, stumbling over his words with red tinted his entire face. Taking a new cloth, he soaked the linen in the alcohol, breathing deeply as he hovered it over my skin. "No lie, this is gonna fucking hurt, alright?" Marco nodded, his grip tightened somewhat. Biting my lip, I didn't expect the alcohol to hurt that much, but boy was I wrong! I hastily grabbed Marco's hand, crushing his fingers as I was doused with electrifying needles, seeping into my core to cleanse. When he removed the cloth, I released the breath I'd held the entire time, sucking in air to calm the stabbing sensation wrapping around my side.
"It's looking better," he said, leaning closer to inspect the edging since it was now clean of any blood. "It will be easier to dress the wound if you stand. Is that ok?"
"Mhm." Grabbing my hands, both males helped me up, my legs slightly wobbly. Once my bearings were straight, Marco held onto my arms while I held onto my shirt, lifting it for all to see what was wrong. I could see stares from across the room; now that the skin was clean, I didn't care as much. Guiding me to press the gauze down, Jean wrapped long pieces of cloth around my stomach. Standing close enough that our chests barely touched, I held my breath as he moved his fingers delicately. Once the bandages were tight enough, he tied the ends off, nodding at me so I could drop my shirt. The material was still fairly damp; my skin crawled upon contact. Examining the bandage by touch, I was proud of Jean's handiwork.
"Thank you, both of you." Smiling at my friends. Taking tentative steps around the room, my wound was bound tight enough to keep my side protected but not enough to hinder my mobility. Quickly, the others noticed me up and about, running towards my side asking me question after question. Sasha and Connie were glad it wasn't serious; Reiner and Bertholdt scolded me for not speaking up sooner – mainly the bulkier one of the two; Annie patted my shoulder and walked off; the others simply told me to be careful in the future, that I would be dearly missed if something were to happen to me.
Satisfied now that everyone was taken care of and their gear was fuel to the max, everyone ran outside and flew off towards the wall. Lingering behind, I took my time in placing the gear upon my hips, ensuring it wouldn't agitate the bandages, at least until I could see a doctor. If Jean suggested I needed stitches, then I believed him, despite not looking forwards to that kind of pain. Watching the others happily disappear, my fist banged against both fuel tanks as I moved towards the open door, Marco having left a few minutes prior. Barely taking a few steps, someone caught my arm as I halted, noticing it was Jean, his grim expression making me nervous.
Pulling me against his muscled chest, I melted, his natural scent bringing a warm smile to my lips. We were quiet, simply enjoying the warmth of each other. I tightened the grip I had on his jacket then stepped back, wondering what the man was thinking. "...Jean?"
"Please...don't scare me like that again." Cupping my cheek, I realized he was touching the bruise from last night. I had completely forgotten it was there. "First there was this and now your side? I've hurt you, Emalina...I'm so sorry." Dropping a kiss into my hair, Jean leaned our foreheads together.
"No Jean, no, please don't apologize. I should've said something earlier I know...I just couldn't. It's not your fault."
"Yes it is – "
"No," my voice was stern. "The only reason I was hurt is because I overestimated the gas I had left. When you caught me, my body was too close to one side of your gear. That's why your wire caught me, that's why my side is injured."
Knowing I wouldn't allow himself to feel guilty, Jean surrendered, slowing his breathing as he rubbed his thumb across the bruise on my cheek. "Then what about this? I'm still the one who hit you."
"Neither were intentional." Grabbing his hands tightly, I held them between us. "Jean, I am ok. Look at me; my bruise will heal and so will my side. It'll probably take longer, but it's nothing too serious."
"Why're you able to easily let go of my wrongdoings?"
"Simple. Because I know when you truly mean something and when you don't."
"And..." Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he pulled his hands free, placing each on the base of my neck, openly holding my face in his palms. "What about last night?" his voice whispered. "Because the things I said, the way I spoke to you...Emalina, I said those things out of anger."
"I know, sweetie, it's alright."
"No, stop it! See? That's what I'm saying! Why're you able to let that go?"
"Because I know you, Jean." Dropping his hands to my hips, I played with the rim of his uniform jacket. "Last night was pretty rough and there were...some things said on both sides."
"I'm sorry, Ema," he said quickly, tugging me closer. "I was...angry for what Eren did to you. Angry to suddenly learn you're joining the Scouts and that you'd known for a while...But, I..." Tracing a thumb over my bottom lip, my body shuttered, even the gentle touch of his electrifying. "I was angry and heartbroken when I thought you didn't feel the same as I feel for you...I'm sorry..." Apologizing again and again, Jean leaned forward, kissing the bruised cheek, moving his lips down to my chin. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so damn much..." his voice cried, eyes squinted in pain. He moved to drop his head onto my shoulder but I wouldn't let him. Raising his head by the chin, I grazed my lips over his, eyes watching his as they widened.
"Jean, I..." Mustering the same courage from this morning, I knew this was it. During the middle of a titan attack, this is where all the tension, the looks, glances, smiles, hugs, pecks, dreams, conversations and laughs would finally meet in confession. My breathing hitched when Jean affectionately wiped a stray tear from my eye, his own glistening with shed emotion. "Jean Kirschtein...I love you too. W-What you said last night is exactly how I feel and want to tell you everything...!"
"Shh..." He placed a finger over my lips. "...tell me later." Reuniting our mouths as one, my arms flew around his neck.
All at once, the floodgate of emotions erupted, igniting the passion while releasing the tension between our bodies. Firmly keeping one hand on my hip, Jean weaved the other into my hair while I held him in place with the lock of my arms. It was surreal, the feeling of his lips moving against my own. Mouth widening, Jean slipped in his tongue, playing with mine, causing me to release a hearty groan. Heat flared my cheeks, the moment never ceasing to end, for which, I would never complain. Passion was infused in the kiss; I could feel all the love Jean held.
"Jean..." I moaned his name. Breathing deeply, the man literally stole my breath. "Say it again, please."
Beaming, the man held me close, the warmth of his voice tickling my ear. Whispering so only I could hear, he gave me what I requested. "Emalina Varlen, I love you." Grinning just like him, I stood on my tip toes to kiss his lips when we were called by someone outside the building.
"Jean, Ema! You might want to see this!"
Starring outside then back at each other, my blush remained. Ignoring what needed our attention for the moment, there was still one question I had to ask. "Where does this leave us, Jean? What are we?"
"I know. As much as I want to talk this through, we need to get moving. Remember this," he grabbed my chin, pecking my forehead quickly. "I will stay by your side forever, if you'll have me."
"Yes!" I cried softly. Refusing to leave without one more kiss, we trekked outside, noting several individuals on the roof. Using our gear to reach their level, we noticed their attention focused the mysterious titan across the street. Both smiles we wore fell instantly. "Oh my...! Are they...eating him?!" Four titans were devouring different sections of the titan's body, its weakened cry resonating throughout the sky; from pain or torture, I knew naught.
"This may sound stupid, but I was hoping he'd be the key for us. The key to ending this maddening cycle of titans crushing mankind." Mikasa stared, hypnotized by the sight. I couldn't blame her.
"She's right," Reiner agreed. "He's too valuable to just let die, there's too much we can learn from him. I think it's perfectly clear our priority should be to ward the scavengers; he's no good to us picked apart."
"Are you out of your mind?!" cried Jean. Even I was flabbergasted by their words. Considering how the titan stared me down and ignored me earlier, however, gave me some inclination to consider the possibility. "We finally have a way to escape this nightmare and you wanna stay?!"
"Think about it," Annie stated coolly. "Having an abnormal as an ally would be an incredible advantage, right?"
"Y-You, you can't be serious?"
"Their reasoning is sound and logical," I pointed out, watching the larger titan being succumbed to cannibalism.
"Ohhh, not you too, Ema!" His cheeks were still red from only a few minutes prior, and I had to do everything in my power to not stare at his beautiful lips I so desperately wanted to kiss.
"It's fucking crazy, I know. Remember earlier? He ignored me and attacked the others. In the past hundred years we've been fighting the titans behind these walls, has there been one single report of a titan fighting another?" All were silent, knowing there hadn't been such an occurrence. "Learning about this titan might be risky, but you have to takes risks within your life to survive." Looking at Jean, I pointed my thumb backwards towards the titans. "Compared to the weapons and machines we have; this titan alone took down more beasts within an hour than a single soldier could in days!"
"Oh no!" Following Armin's sight, we noticed another titan coming from the opposite corner. "It's the one that ate Thomas!"
An unexpected screech erupted from the titan. Thrashing against those biting its flesh, it still pushed forward, both arms having been chewed off as it sank its teeth deep within the one that murdered our comrade. It seemed to have analyzed those surrounding it, using the titan in its mouth as a weapon to thrash upon the others. Six titans had still been alive, only to be beaten to death with mere seconds. Shrieking one last time, the beast crashed to its knees, forever to lie dead on the ground, its titan steam floating into the air, disintegrating the body.
"What was that you were saying? Because I think it's a moot point now," argued Jean, turning to leave. Grabbing my hand, he dragged me away, wanting to be safe on the other side of the wall. "Alright, enough of this. Let's leave while we can. We're just lucky the bastard didn't get bored; we might've been the next on its menu." When I refused to budge along with the others, Jean noted our attention still on the fallen titan. Bracing myself on the edge, I narrowed my vision closer to see something fidgeting along the monster's neck. Beside us, Mikasa jumped to the ground, running as if her life depended on it. Crawling onto the neck she grasped something and held it close. That's when I realized what it was.
"Oh my god...that's Eren!" I cried. Upon hearing Mikasa's cries of agony, I joined her on the ground. The others followed, no one mustering a word of how this came to be. It took some maneuvering, but we were able to drag Eren to the top of Headquarters, Mikasa still clinging to him as if he was dead. We all watched in confusion. Armin examined his arm and leg, stating over and over that it wasn't possible. He witnessed Eren being eaten, his leg having been bitten off by a previous titan and his arm when he was swallowed. Holding me close, Jean peered around, assessing the damage to the littered bodies of dead titans that once posed a threat. Now, they were more of a memory no longer able to haunt our dreams.
As no one could mutter a word, Jean spoke in their stead, voicing the one thought that was running within all of our minds. "O-Ok, so, uh...Eren, did all this...?"
~ oOo ~
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