Chapter Twelve
Reckless Is Your Middle Name
A/N: Not a lot of lovey-dovey interaction between Jean and Emalina. If you were looking for that, I'm sorry, but there won't be for another chapter or two. Trost and the titans are kinda taking over! And there are no specific songs for this chapter; while writing I was listening to the AoT anime soundtracks so I leave it up to you :)
Also, please read my notes at the end because it's about the next chapter! Otherwise, please enjoy and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, I only own Emalina and any other OC's. The new story picture does not belong to me; I hold no Copyright and found the it through Google Images.
~ oOo ~
Point of View
Jean
"Damn, what a fucking mess..." Emalina groaned beside me.
Cadets and Garrison soldiers lingered throughout the street, defeat etched in their voices, in the way they walked. Pacing through the streets, numerous soldiers provided our orders, notifying us of what to do until we were needed once more, yelling that we were to be on standby. Only twenty minutes had passed since we had traversed the wall, being the last of everyone to do so. We had been stuck in a problematic situation, with discovering Eren had been inside the mysterious titan. He was the one to cause all deaths to the titans crawling over HQ.
Emalina's right, this is a fucking mess.
The two of us were sitting at a spare table we found after being harassed by the Garrisons. Emalina had been struggling the entire time in finding a comfortable position within her seat; she stood, sat cross-legged on the ground, even tried laying on the table. Not once did she complain; nevertheless, I knew her side was causing pain. There had been medics passing by every so often, but also followed by a cart full of soldiers with life-threatening injuries. She still needed medical attention, and she would get it with the next medic I saw.
"Oh goodness! So that's why you didn't go over when they called the withdrawal?" Christa and Ymir were speaking with Connie. I guess he was explaining everything we went through just to refuel our gas so we could go over the wall.
"Shit...We wanted to run supplies but things got kinda crazy here after they gave the signal to withdraw."
"What happened to the others? Mikasa? Armin?" Christa asked.
"Oh no, they're fine," Connie reassured. "Once we refueled, some of us got separated, but I know Jean was with them. Hey Jean!" Glancing at the bald soldier, I chugged some water, wiping the excess from my mouth. "What happened to the others?"
"Can't say," I took another swig. "Soon as we were over the wall, the Garrisons slapped a Gag Order on us."
"...are you serious? No, E-Emalina, is he...?" Connie was baffled, mouth falling open as she nodded.
"We're serious. Gag Order along with the threat of death if we spoke on the matter." Moving to stand, her leg gave way as she fell into me, my hands holding her up at the waist. My whole body tensed at the thought of her falling.
"Whoa, you ok?!"
She smiled at my worrisome tone. "I'm fine; all the running around then being forced to sit has made me tired."
"How's your side?" Connie asked, gaining the attention of the other females.
"Your side? Did you get hurt, Ema?" Christa frantically asked.
"It's no big deal – "
"It's my fault," I interrupted, Ymir's attention turning towards me.
With narrowed eyes, she asked, "What're you talking about?"
"My gear pierced her side when we were running towards Headquarters – OW!" Rubbing the back of my head, I glared at Ymir. "What the hell?!"
"That's for hurting Emalina, asshole. She didn't deserve it."
"Why would you do such a thing, Jean?!" Christa cried, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.
"None of that!" Emalina barked, silence following from her tone. "It WAS an accident! My gas gave out and Jean saved me when I was falling, holding me the rest of the way towards HQ, with his ODM spear hitting my side. He saved me when we crashed through the window." She bent forward, her lips connecting with my cheek, brightening my mood instantly. Before she could move away, I grabbed her chin, pulling her mouth against mine. Fuck if the others were watching, I didn't give a damn. The others, however, apparently did, their mouths falling to the floor in disbelief and bafflement.
"W-What the hell?!" said Connie.
Reiner and Bertholdt chuckled. "Looks like someone finally had the balls to say something," the larger one spoke.
Needing to avoid the conversation, Emalina, face covered in a deep blush, excused herself and quickly made way towards Marco across the street. He witnessed everything and I could tell he was thinking the same as Reiner as he gave me a thumbs-up. "S-Shut up guys!" Throwing both legs upon the table, my arms crossed, wanting to become invisible to their stares and questions.
"Don't think you're getting off that easily, Jean. You finally said something, didn't you?" Moving closer, Connie occupied a spare seat; I questioned the amount of curiosity he held at times, for it could be quite annoying. This was one of those times.
"Yeah," I eyed him, unable to keep the smile off my face. Because that's the effect Emalina had on me; I could momentarily forget any problems, having the ability to focus on the happiness she surrounded me in. Happiness I had every day. "So, what if I did?"
My bald friend couldn't contain his bright smile as he smacked my shoulder. "It's about damn time, man!"
"Tch, seriously. You've been a lovestruck puppy all throughout training," Ymir snickered.
"Come on, Ymir, they're so cute together!" Hugging my side, Christa's face was bright and joyful. "I'm so happy for you two!"
"Jean." Peeking at Bertholdt, I was brought back to the night a few weeks prior where my tall friend told me to explain to Emalina about my feelings before we chose our different regiments. And then he brought me back to reality. "What about the Military Police?"
Silence. He was right; what was I to say?
"That's...complicated," I admitted, for it was the truth. My plan was to still join the MP's whereas Emalina was dead set on joining the Scouts. Having already admitting I'd join the Scouts as long as I could remain by her side, I still didn't know.
"Come on Marco, I'm fine!" From my position, I could see my male friend trying to get Emalina to take a seat; she held her side, leaning against the wall. Now was a time to find her a doctor. Excusing myself, the others watched while I crossed the street, checking to see if she was alright. She told me the same thing she as she did to Marco, but I knew better. Gaining her permission, I lifted her shirt, not surprised to see her bandages slightly stained red.
And as if on cue, I heard a voice call from down the street. "Is there anyone in need of medical assistance?" A woman dressed in a white medical gown maneuvered her way through the other cadets, checking on all soldiers she moved closer in our direction. Perfect timing, I thought. Making the executive decision, I hurried towards her, my voice raised to gain her attention.
"Excuse me!" My voice gained her attention. "My friend is injured and needs help!"
Making her way towards me, the woman asked, "Where is she?"
"Over here," I pointed behind as we moved towards Emalina.
Friend...friend? I don't think she's my friend anymore. Wait – no, that's not right. Emalina's still my best friend, only she's become something more. Girlfriend didn't quite settle what she meant to me. Then what?
"Miss?" Approaching Emalina and Marco, I rushed to her side to find her leaning against the wall, nearly falling over. Beside me, the doctor held her shoulder, straightening her form to examine her body. "I'm Carolyn, a doctor. This young man says you have been hurt?"
Whimpering, Emalina sought me, eyes bright and scared. Sighing, she nodded, knowing it was time to get help from someone who could actually care for a wound other than a quick fix. "I-I do. My side, I have a nasty gash." Gently, the doctor edged her fingers down her side to assess the level of pain; to see where and how big. Wincing, Emalina pushed her body into the wall for more support, the pain seemed to becoming unbearable.
"Our tent is just around the corner, I'm gonna need to examine the wound."
"Jean, Marco...please..." Reaching for our hands, we grabbed hers, helping to half-carry, half-walk Emalina down the street. The doctor was right, they had erected several tents along the road, with cadets sitting along the buildings edge. There were soldiers with minor scrapes and others covered in bandages. Walking past, we were led into one of the smaller tents, the doctor asking Emalina to remove her ODM gear and lay on the table. Jacket and gear taken from her body, she did as asked, waiting patiently as the doctor prepared with gloves and anything she would possibly need.
"Alright," Carolyn said as another nurse walking in. "Explain in detail what happened." Retelling the event once more, I also informed the doctor how we cleaned and bandaged her side with the materials used. "That is good to hear. Let's roll your shirt up and see what's going on." Marco and I stayed right by her side, pulling spare chairs next to the bed. I held her hand, my thumb smoothing over her skin while Marco ran his fingers through her hair. We could hear the doctor mumble every now and then, though I ignored her. Emalina was scared and I would do anything to keep her calm.
"She's going to need stitches." Looking to the nurse, she said, "Prepare the items while I clean the wound."
"Yes ma'am."
Emalina groaned, pushing her face further into the bedding. "Why did you have to be right about the stitches, Jean?"
"Heh, because I'm smart, that's why."
"You wish," Marco laughed, causing Emalina to stifle a chuckle as well.
"Emalina?" the doctor called her name. "This will take a bit of time to efficiently close the wound. It will be painful. I have something that may numb the area, but there isn't a guarantee it will work completely. There is...something else." Lifting her head higher, Emalina raised an eyebrow. "Whoever cleaned the wound did a decent job, but I still need to clean the surrounding area where the blood has leaked past your garments. In order to do so, I must lower your pants a bit."
Cheeks reddening, she slowly nodded. "T-That's f-fine," she whimpered. "I understand."
"Ok. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, please let know. Boys," she turned to us. "I would kindly ask you to step outside until the procedure is over."
"No!" Emalina cried, her grip tightening on my hand. "Please let them stay, they're my best friends and are important to me. Can they stay?"
Carolyn instantly smiled. "Of course," she said. "As long as you're comfortable." The nurse returned a few moments later, tray in hand containing the necessary equipment needed. Having Emalina's permission, the doctor removed the leather wrap required for our uniform. She then unbuttoned her pants, lowering the left side until the material was bunched against her lower hip.
Marco and I reposition our chairs to sit side-by-side, our eyes fixed on our closest and dearest friend. My dreams and thoughts of late were consumed of Emalina, filled with the desire to do nothing but love her. Physically, mentally, emotionally – my longing to prove the depth of my feelings was uncontrollable. But not like this. Despite the rush of arousal I held whenever the woman was near me, I would not use her in a moment of vulnerability.
"Alright my dear, I've rubbed the best numbing cream we have stocked; as I said before, there is no guarantee you won't feel anything. Are you ready?"
"Yes," she stated strongly, darting her eyes between Marco and I. And so, the doctor began.
Not once did I look past Emalina's face. I gave no attention to the doctor literally sewing her side back together. In the time I'd known her, Emalina had always been a strong individual. In receiving the stitches, every now and then she cried out or winced, the doctor sewing medical thread through her skin. Witnessing her suffering from the torture caused me physical pain. My hand holding hers could do nothing to eliminate the agony. A loud scream tore past her lips, with my pulling her hand to my lips, kissing each finger. Glancing at Marco, a random thought crossed my mind, realizing it was something that would, hopefully, bring a smile to her beautiful face. Something that could momentarily help her to ignore what the doctor was doing.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." The words fell from my lips, her grip instantly relaxing. Marco seemed to catch on what I was doing as we began to sing together. "You make me happy...when skies are gray...You'll never know dear...how much I love you...so please don't take...my sunshine, away."
Through my peripherals, both nurse and doctor were smiling. The scene would've been embarrassing if I had been singing for someone other than Emalina. I'd heard her sing only a handful of times. The first I'd heard her sing this tune was when she delivered Galaxy during our stay in Trost. Since then, I had noticed this was a tune she sang whenever she was working with horses; the other song, however, she still sang whenever she had a nightmare about her parents. Even then, she hummed the tune whenever she was feeling down.
Which is why I decided to choose the tune I did, considering I thought it was more appropriate; the other song was more personal, and I knew she wouldn't want others to hear it unless she was the one to sing the song.
Marco and I continued to song through the verse two more times, before the doctor informed us that they were all done. Carolyn was pleased, claiming Emalina would make a full recovery. Knowing we were all cadets, the doctor packed extra gauze against her side, in case she decided to fight further, if needed. She also explained her wish to Emalina to refrain from fighting or using her ODM gear, but understood, as a soldier, she had a desire to fight. As the nurse and doctor gathered their items to leave, the doctor had Emalina promise that if she were to fight, she would seek her out to examine the wound the moment she was free to ensure the stitches remained intact. Of course, Emalina agreed, standing from the table as we were left alone.
We turned our backs as Emalina readjusted her clothing, strapping on the leather wrap around her waist. She tapped our shoulders when she was done; turning around, she held the side of her shirt upwards. "I survived!" she squealed.
"You did!" Marco gently pulled her into a hug as I kneeled down, examining her side and the way the doctor bandaged the area, mentally taking notes if this was needed in the future. It was definitely better than my patch job, that's for sure. Her side was thickly packed down to apply necessary pressure, with the doctor having wrapped several layers around her waist. Hopefully, we were done with any fighting, but Emalina was ready to tackle any titan if need be. Knowing Emalina, she would sacrifice her fresh stitches if it meant saving one person.
Standing to my feet, I could see her energy returning. "How're you feeling?"
"Better," she replied quickly. "My side is stiff, but nothing like before; it feels good."
"That's what I like to hear. Here," I grabbed her gear from the side of the tent. "Let's get this on and head back. Knowing everyone else, they'll be asking about you."
And I was right. Once back where we were originally seated, Emalina was swarmed by others who knew she had been hurt. However, what caught my eye first were the two who ran her way before anyone else could: Reiner and Bertholdt. The moment their eyes found her walking down the street, they bounced from their seats, making headway straight towards her. Hugs soon followed along with their questions, though I paid it no heed, for I knew they were only friends. Once Emalina explained she would be alright and how her side was taken care of, she reclaimed her spot at the table from earlier. As we sat together, she leaned against my shoulder and sighed.
In a comfortable silence, we watched soldiers come and go. The time since climbing over the wall seemed to have been forever ago. In all reality? It had only been about an hour and I was dreading what was to come. From the stories of five years ago, the Colossal Titan broke through the outer wall, while the Armored Titan crashed into the inner wall separating Shiganshina District from the open area before Wall Rose. With several hours since the first attack, where was the second? This question and more rampaged my mind, my curiosity stimming from the need to know what would happen in the days to come.
"I miss my brother."
Pulled from my thoughts, Emalina snuggled into my side, arm sneaking through mine. Kissing her head, I couldn't help but sigh. "I know, Emalina. Levi will come back, he always does, remember?"
"Mhm, he always promises me he'll come back."
"And has he always returned?"
"Mhm," she mumbled. I knew she and Levi weren't blood related, though the bond they shared was real enough. She told me everything when healing from her fall during our first exam; how he saved her, the training he taught, and how he was always there when she needed him after she first lost her parents. To be honest, I was jealous when learning of this; how could I not? She spoke left and right of 'Humanity's Strongest'. But, after having a long discussion with Marco, he pounded the idea into me that Emalina was not obsessing over Levi due to romantic feelings, as I first believed.
Thank god for that, I pondered.
"I'm just worried, Jean. Something seems off with this...ordeal."
"Are you wondering why there hasn't been a second attack?"
"Yes!" Quickly sitting straight, Emalina's eyes were wide and very blue. She seemed surprised I was thinking the same as her. "The fact it hasn't happened is concerning..." Dropping her voice, she leaned in closer. "These attacks were planned; I know they were!"
Her answer stunned me. "Where would we find any proof for that?" I kept my voice quite too; with everything going on, you never knew who was listening in.
"Oh, come on! We survived a hundred years behind the walls and then suddenly we're attacked by two titans that have never been documented before? And then there's another attack five years later? Seems kinda fishy to me."
I sighed, wrapping my arm around the woman. "This situation is beyond strange; all we can do right now is protect one another. I'm not saying you're about what's happening, but I wouldn't speak loudly on the matter. If you're correct and people find out this was a planned attack, I think hell would break loose."
She nodded in understanding, then fell quiet for some time. "Jean? Levi promises me this and, I don't think I have to ask, but..." She returned to the previous topic. "Since things are different between us now...will you...always be there to protect me?" Emalina was hesitant and bashful in asking, but fuck if she wasn't adorable with a light blush covering her freckled cheeks.
Grasping her chin, I stared deeply into her eyes. "What this is between us has not changed my want to keep you safe, Ema. I will do whatever is necessary to ensure you will always be protected." Laying my lips softly against hers, Emalina fell into the kiss, stroking my chin in the process.
"I'll protect you too, Jean, whatever it takes."
"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
Across the street, Marco was in the process of calming Daz, the older cadet freaking out, yelling at the top of his lungs. Jumping in her seat, Emalina was curious, closely watching as one tried to help while the other fought back.
"Calm down, Daz!" Marco attempted in keeping his voice low.
"No! Do you even know what I saw out there?! My entire team was eaten and I barely made it outealive!"
"You're not the only one Daz! We're all fighting back our fear. Look at Sasha! Even after everything she's seen, she remains a proper soldier!" Both sets of eyes glanced at Sasha to the side, sitting high upon a wooden crate. She remained impassive; even I was impressed how well she was holding herself.
"Ohhhh, my stomach aches!" she cried, keeling over while holding her abdomen. "Please carry me away with the wounded..."
For fucks sake, Sasha...
Daz screamed again. Everyone within a close proximity could hear what was happening. Pulling a sword from the sheath at his side, Marco knew what the male had planned as he moved to halt Daz's movements. "Agh...! I'm gonna do it!"
"DAZ!"
The man glanced up the moment Emalina's palm connect with his face, practically sending him flying. Blinking in shock, I hadn't even noticed Emalina left my side. With her arms crossed, she glared down at Daz who was cowering in slight fear. Emalina could be a frightening individual, but only when provoked is when she'd bestow her wrath onto others. Even then, it was very rare.
"Daz, you really need to knock this off!"
I decided to watch as the male tried removing the blade once more, only for Emalina to shove the weapon back onto its slot. "Did you witness what I did, Emalina?! So much DEATH! There was too much, you don't even know – "
"KNOCK IT OFF!"
Utter silence.
"Daz...listen to me. I'm sorry for slapping you, but you gotta understand something. You are not the only person here; you are not the only one who has witnessed death today. We ALL have! Right now, you are being selfish and inconsiderate to everyone round you. Are you hurt? Have you lost a limb? Better yet, have you died?!"
"Damn," Reiner grunted. "Emalina can be fucking brutal." I only nodded in agreement; she was brutal to teach a point.
Muttering very quietly, Daz did everything he could to avoid her direct gaze. "N-No..."
"Then don't even consider the thought of taking your own life so easily! You decided to become a soldier for a reason, did you not? What regiment are you planning to join?"
"T-The Garrisons."
"Why?"
"To p-protect my family."
This is where Emalina softened as she smiled, pulling Daz's hands into hers. "That is fantastic to hear, Daz. But you're going about protecting your family in a very poor way."
Ouch Ema.
"Let me ask you this: your willing to end your life here and now after everything that's happened, after surviving. How would your family feel if they discovered you gave up without even trying?" Her words seemed to knock some sense into the man, his face shooting upward in attention. "Listen to me...I know everything you've seen today has been hard...I've witnessed it too, even before today. But you can't protect your family from the grave, Daz, they need you here."
"Oh my god," he muttered, after having a few moments of silence. "You're right. How, Emalina? Why haven't I seen it like that before?" Sliding down against the wall, Daz's body crumbled into himself, hands cradling his face.
"Because that's what fear does to us." Taking her time in crouching to her knees, Emalina touched the man's shoulder. "Fear is an all-consuming emotion that can render even the strongest incapable of performing their duties. It throws us off course, leading us to believe there's no escape when there truly is." Wavering her gaze across to me, she blinked before asking another question. "Daz...what do you think the opposite of fear is?"
Lowering his hands, he said, "...bravery?"
Shaking her head, Emalina smiled. "No, at least, I don't think so. To me, the opposite of fear is determination and self-confidence. Because...if you believe in yourself and strive for your reason to exist, fear cannot claim you, it cannot stop whatever it is you want to achieve."
"Is that...how you're so brave, so unafraid?"
She shook her head. "On the contrary, Daz. Trust me, I'm not fearless. I push through and fight to protect my friends; everyone I care for. I never give in to my fear, because if I did, more people would die, and I can't let that happen again. Promise me this, Daz: no matter how scary this life becomes, never give in, never quit living your life. Can you do that for me?"
"W-Well I guess I...I guess I can try, Emalina..."
"That makes me happy." Smiling, the male threw himself at Emalina, hugging her as she steadied upon her knees. In the last few years, we have known Daz, I don't think I had seen him smile the way he was now. And it was all because of the brunette with bright blue eyes. Have I said this before? Then I'll say it again: Emalina Varlen is the most spectacular woman I have met. And I am so blessed to not only be given the chance to love her, but to have her love me in return.
Lost in thought, my entire body suddenly shook as I stood to my feet. The ground vibrated as all those around me turned left and right, confusion written across all our features. That's when he heard it – a massive explosion which trembled the buildings around us and our inner core.
"Cannon fire?" Reiner called from behind as we moved into the street, away from the building wall.
"But why only one shot?!" my voice cried.
"Look! It's smoke!"
"It's inside the wall!"
Cries and screams echoed as we all watched in shock as steam filled the late afternoon sky. Running to my side, Emalina tried to say something; her voice faltered when Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie used their ODM gear to climb the buildings. Curious to see what the hell was happening – and what grabbed their attention – we followed the trio, our footsteps heavy against the tile as we moved towards the steam.
~ oOo ~
Point of View
Emalina
Following closely behind, the five of us forced our tired bodies to keep moving forward. While the other three were ahead, Jean slowed his pace to match mine, for I was still a tad slow with my stitches being so fresh. The pain was still there, causing me to be slower than the others, though I wouldn't say anything to him just yet. In regards to the sound we heard, I couldn't voice my concern, but there was a gnawing voice attacking my head that this had to do with Eren. The moment we caught up with Reiner confirmed my suspicion.
"Oh...my god..." I whispered.
Reiner had the same thought. "...what the hell is that?"
As the steam cleared, I couldn't look away. Speechless, no one spoke. Emitting from the cloud, the top half of a titan form erupted from the cobblestone street, its body already deteriorating. Half of the titan was only bones while the other half was covered with its muscle tissue. The sight was unnerving because what we saw earlier at Headquarters was vastly different Though as the smoke slowly cleared, Armin and Mikasa came into view, held within the belly of the beast. We all watched in horror and confusion, not knowing what caused this titan to appear.
"All squads maintain distance! It can strike at any moment!"
Captain Woermann.
I'd heard enough from the Scouts about the Captain and the type of person he was. With this situation at hand, I wouldn't be surprised if he cowered behind his fear than to use logic to override the situation. "Halt, halt!" Woermann's voice lulled me away from my thoughts. "Is this supposed to be your true form, monster?! I don't buy it; I'll give the signal to fire, I will!"
"Eren is not a foe of humanity! We're willing to cooperate with the military to share everything we've learned about his powers!"
Armin? What's he doing?!
"Your plea falls on deaf ears! He already revealed his true form, so he will not leave here alive! Show me proof if you claim he's not a threat!"
"You don't need any proof! The fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter what we perceive him to be! The reports say hundreds of soldiers saw him and those who were there say they saw him fighting other titans. To put it plainly, the titans saw him the same way they see us humans – as prey, their enemy! And it doesn't matter how else you look at it, that is an irrefutable fact!" Almost all the Garrisons dropped their weapons, deeply considering Armin's words. There were murmurs of those agreeing with our friend.
"PREPARE TO ATTACK!" Woermann's voice echoed across the stone, leaving some solders to stare at him in bewilderment. "Do not believe his cunning lies! The titan's behavior has always been beyond our comprehension! I wouldn't put it past them to hide in human form! They're s-speaking our language to deceive us, and I won't sit here and allow them to infiltrate our homes!"
"I am a soldier!" Armin's screech rang louder than the Captains, gaining our attention as he threw all his might into the military salute. "And I have dedicated my life to the restoration of humanity, sir! Nothing could make me prouder than dying for such a noble cause! If we were to use his titan ability and combine it with the manpower we have left, I believe we can retake this city. For humanity's glory, and what little time I have left, I will advocate his strategic value!"
From our position on the rooftop, I could see Woermann consider his options, though I knew ultimately what he would decide. Again, several soldiers insisted on considering Armin's words. Nothing would sway the Captains agitation. Raising his hand, the Captain was about to call for another attack when one more voice cut through the silence.
My voice.
"STOP!"
Running against the tiled roof, my friends called out to me as I flew over the soldiers, landing directly in front of my blonde friend. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Jean roared. Ignoring him, I knew deep down this was something I had to do. Armin couldn't fend off the wrath of Woermann when the man allowed his shot nerves to take over.
"Stand down cadet!" the Captain screamed.
"I will not! Captain Woermann, what you're doing is wrong, and I will not stand idle and watch you attack these cadets – my friends!"
"These cadets are a threat to humanity!" he argued.
"Says who?! Did you not hear Armin? Hundreds of soldiers witnessed Eren kill nearly thirty titans all on his own! And I am one of those witnesses!"
"It's a trick just to get inside the wall! He turned himself into a titan to attack us!"
"No!" I screamed, taking a few steps forward. Several guns raised towards me but I promptly ignored them; I held no concern at all. "From what I've seen and heard, Eren transformed to protect his friends because you had a cannon shoot at them! Where's your sense of logic? Why determine Eren a threat before understanding the situation?"
"I don't need to listen to you! I'll fire the cannon on you if it comes to it."
His words had me chuckling, but Ian spoke the same words that were on my own tongue. "That's not a good idea Captain. Do you know who she is?"
"Who cares? She's a brat in my way that needs to be taught a lesson."
"That's Emalina Varlen, sir, she graduated at the top of her class last night. Not only that, but she's extremely close to the Scouts, and Levi Ackerman."
That caught his attention. "L-L-Levi...?"
You sound afraid, Woermann; you should be. "Levi's my older brother, you wouldn't want to make him angry, would you?"
"Tch," the Captain growled through his clenched teeth. "This is your last warning – step aside!"
"If I did, I'd be abandoning my comrades – and I swore to never abandon anyone! Like Armin, I became a soldier to protect humanity, to save our people from the titans! Eren isn't a threat, he's no traitor. And if it wasn't for him, me and my friends wouldn't be here right now! So let go of your fear and consider the advantage we have. If you kill him, you're murdering the only chance we have to take back what the titans have stolen from us! Don't let your nerves dictate what could be the answer to saving mankind!"
Beside Woermann, Rico voiced her opinion for the first time. "Captain, we should consider their statements."
"Never! I will not allow these kids to make my decisions! Prepare to fire!" Raising his hand once more, Woermann was willing to go through another attack. Removing both blades, I took a defensive stance, ready to protect my friends – even Eren. Everything that'd happened revolving the suicidal maniac was a mystery; I was willing to risk a chance to uncover if he could save us all. Any chance to save us, to save my friends, to save Jean, was a risk I'd gladly sacrifice.
"Captain Woermann." From behind, a hand shot out, grabbing the Captain's wrist, halting his movement to order a second attack. "You might want to do something about that worrisome disposition."
"C-Commander Pyxis!" the Captain stumbled over his superior's title. Regardless of the Garrison Commander gracing us with his presence, I did not lower my weapons.
"I've only just arrived, but I'm quite aware of the situation. Now Captain, tell me. Were you about to lay canon fire to these fine cadets here?"
"Y-You see sir, the thing is –"
"Can't you see these two standing bravely? This one is saluting with his heart while she seems ready to protect what she believes."
"Of course sir, but we've determined – "
"Certainly you know who this young woman is, hm?" Pyxis stated, making headway towards me. Sheathing my weapons, I made sure to maintain eye contact as my limbs proudly saluted. "Cadet Emalina Varlen."
"Commander Pyxis," I nodded. "It is good to see you again, sir."
"And it is good to see you, cadet. Tell me, when you were protecting the citizens as they evacuated, whose squad were you assigned to?"
"Ian Dietrich, sir."
"Ah yes, of course. Ian!" The soldier in question straightened his form from being called on so suddenly. "Please inform me. How well did Emalina prove herself out there?"
"Commander, I cannot express with mere words the talent she possesses. She's cunning and meticulous; efficient with her kills; and is an overall brilliant soldier."
"Thank you, Ian. Now Captain, I – "
"Wait! Commander, please..." Having interrupted one of the more powerful men in the military, even I was hesitant to continue speaking. "Sir, I apologize for interrupting, but I'm not the only strong, cunning soldier here. My friends, Cadets Arlert and Ackerman are two individuals who would be a beneficial asset to the military."
The Commander was not at all phased by me speaking over him. "Oh? Please continue."
"Thank you, sir. I understand the Captain's fear regarding the...situation at hand. But his attack would've annihilated the most intelligent cadet you have on hand and the only other cadet who matches my abilities. Spare them, please! Not just them – Eren as well! I can only provide you a witness testimony in his power of defeating the titans. Whereas Armin and Mikasa can provide more in-depth knowledge pertaining to his titan abilities. We have an opportunity to retake this city; our first victory against the titans. Nevertheless, it all begins with Eren remaining alive."
"Hm, you make an excellent point, Cadet."
"Commander! Y-You cannot be serious! She's protecting a titan in disguise, a heathen!" Captain Woermann was infuriated, seething how the Commander would consider our words when he was about to exterminate our existence.
"Captain Woermann, that may be. However, until we know for certain, we must assume these cadets are stating the truth and believe in what they have witnessed. Gather our reinforcements; I will hear what these cadets have to say." Falling in a heap of himself, Armin had finally released his salute as he landed on the ground. He exhaled a heavy sigh as I patted his arm, a grateful smile being my answer.
"Thank you, Emalina," he whispered.
"You're welcome," I said. Commander Pyxis removed himself from Woermann, waving his hand for Mikasa and Eren to join us as well. "It would seem we have a discussion needed to be held. Shall we make way for the wall? We'll have privacy up there for our conversation." They nodded as I remained still. I didn't think my presence was needed; Armin and Mikasa were the ones to find Eren in his transformed state the first time where as I only stood witness to his raw power afterward.
"Commander, I must rejoin the remaining troops if we are needed."
"Hmm, do you not consider your presence important, Emalina?"
"N-No sir, I don't. Mikasa and Armin and the two you need to speak with, and Eren as well. I was only a bystander, worried about another situation at the time."
Taking a swig of alcohol from his canteen, the Commander still smiled on. "I forget how humble you can be, Emalina. Very well. I believe you have made some remarkable statements such as your friend, but be prepared for me to call on you. We will need your assistance if we are to return beyond the wall. Return to the troops until otherwise needed."
"Yes sir, thank you." Glancing at the three, they were shocked to see me leave. Sorry guys, but I have a feeling there's something you know that I have no knowledge of. Pyxis will require your information; I cannot provide what he needs. Nodding, I turned to ignite my ODM, when I heard an expectant voice from behind.
"Thank you, Emalina."
Moving my head to glance at Eren, his expression was earnest. He was the one to voice the appreciation for me having stepped in. Waving off his thanks, though I was indeed shocked he had actually done said so, it caused me to chuckle. "I stand by what I said Eren." Staring him straight in the eye, he needed to know the seriousness, the truth of my own words. "I wasn't about to let you, Armin or Mikasa die because someone was afraid of the unknown. What I saw leads me to believe you can save us and retake the city. Fight hard and survive to tell me how it goes."
Leaping into the air, I made my way over the Garrison soldiers running through the streets trying to reconvene any and all able troops to be placed on standby. Flying to where I had left my friends, I was surprised to still see them standing in the same position; three were shocked by my actions while the other didn't seem so happy.
"What the hell were you planning, Ema?!"
Stumbling at Jean's words, I couldn't help but stumble upon the tile, barely able to stand before his voice breeched my ears. "I..."
"Jean, calm down and think what she just did."
"Huh?" Jean looked at Reiner, his bulky frame walking to me, arm around my shoulder in comfort. Was I guilty? Yeah, sort of. I didn't mean to freak Jean out the way I had, but someone had to step in and stop the Captain.
"She saved Mikasa, Armin and Eren from certain death," Annie replied coolly, acting as if she still didn't have a care at all.
"Jean, Ema even got the Commander to consider her and Armin's arguments," Bertholdt pointed out, walking by my side as well, clapping my shoulder with a hand. Seeing as he was outnumbered against who was for and against my actions, Jean exhaled, shaking his head in frustration.
"You know what you did was fucking stupid, right?"
Quickly nodding my head in agreement, I moved from under the male's hands, standing in front of Jean, clasping his own hands. "I'm sorry...but I can't stand in the background and watch someone die, especially when they're in the right."
"Still! You couldn't just stop and think...?!" Seeing my slight recoil, he faltered on his words, leaving the rest of his sentence to remain in silence. Some part of me should've expected such a reaction from the man, though not as agitated by my decision. Acknowledging me slightly whimpering, Jean forced me into his chest, holding my close as I clung onto his jacket. "I'm sorry," he muttered for my ears only. "I just...I was worried they were gonna fire at you too."
"I know...but it was something I had to do. I can't promise I won't be so reckless in the future."
He sighed once more. "Of course you wouldn't...reckless is your middle name."
"Hehe, no it's not, but my middle name does start with an 'r'." Raising an eyebrow, Jean was to say something more when we were cut off by Ian as he landed on the tile next to us.
"Cadets, we're gathering all the eligible troops in case we're required to move back inside the wall; please join the others below and wait for further instructions." Then he was gone, in search of other soldiers who weren't to injured to serve. Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie left, leaving the two of us still encased in each other's arms. The day had been catastrophic, and even the moment we had taken a seat once we climbed over the wall, I still hadn't had a second to really think about what had transpired. This, right here, between me and Jean, was real. Still, there was something we hadn't discussed. Just what the hell was this?
There's no time for that, Emalina! You and Jean agreed to speak on this later. There are more important matters at hand, all will be explained...I hope. If anything, I now knew he loved me, and he knew I loved him.
"J-Jean, before we head down there...can you tell me, one more time?"
I didn't even need to speak my meaning; the man simply knew me inside and out. Cupping my face, Jean leaned our foreheads together, his breath warm on my lips as he smiled his flawless smile. Oh, how I wish to kiss those lips again and again. "Emalina, forever will I love you."
Grinning, a lone tear managed to escape from the corner of my eye. Is this what we were? Something that would last forever? "Forever will I love you, Jean." Kissing my nose, he grabbed my hand, leading me down off the building and into the growing horde of soldiers. The same expression plastered on every face: neither wanted to prepare for another attack.
Winding through the crowds, we eventually found Marco and stood next to him; Reiner and Bertholdt joining shortly as they peered throughout the crowd. All around, people were scared, their expressions bleak at the thought they would be required to face the titans once more. Several rows ahead, I could see Daz was still scared. As if he sensed I was watching him, the man looked behind me as he found my gaze and nodded, giving me a thumbs up to prove he remembered our conversation from earlier. His was one of the surprisingly scarce expressions who seemed determined to stay and fight if needed. The others? Well, their whimpers and tears proved they were too frightened to consider the possibility of returning to the other side where the titans lay.
I didn't blame them.
Still, we patiently waited for someone to give us an order. Here and there cadets stated their desire to leave, only to be stopped by veteran Garrison soldiers. Anger rolled off their tongues for those who were so willing to abandon their posts, to not strive for humanity's victory. Two such cadets stood before us as they glanced at each other. The cries and statements of those willing to leave pushing them over the edge to find their families.
"S-So, uh...who d-do you thinks gonna have a breakdown next?" one female asked her friend.
"I d-dunno..." The friend was on the verge of tears as she spoke. "But Trost isn't the way I wanna go."
"Come again?!" The male Garrison beside her burst with his voice, causing the girl to jump as I observed from behind.
"Agh! I'm sorry, I was only kidding around sir!"
"Speak up," his whispered hoarsely, leaning forward until he was her height; the girl was confused. "At the top of your lungs, make as much noise as you can, cadet! You think everyone else doesn't feel the same way about you? Stir up a damn distraction so I can get outa here!"
"And where exactly do you think 'outa here' is?" Jean questioned the male, whose wide eyes turned towards him. I watched the two, both silent for a few seconds before Jean received a reply.
"Look man, I just wanna see my daughter. We're all dead anyway, right?"
"That's not true." I voiced, glancing at the man and both girls. "Your daughter, sir, how old is she?"
"M-My daughter? She just turned nine."
That's why his eyes were different than the females. This male was just as frightened, that much was sure, though he didn't want to save his skin, he simply wanted to see his daughter one last time, thinking all was lost. "I can't stop you from leaving. You wanna see your daughter? I think that's great. But if you leave, then that's one less soldier to help take back this city and beat the titans. One less soldier to protect your daughter if the titans were to break through."
"Are you crazy? We're all dead, what's to stop the titans from breaking through this gate and kill us all anyway? I should be granted to see my daughter before that happens!" Giving up, this man was beyond hearing any reason so I let him be. He and the two girls ignored each other as they went back to their own thoughts, all trying to think of a way to escape back to their families.
"Emalina." Bertholdt was the one to call my name as I leaned closer.
"Hm?"
"What do you think they're talking about up there?" Pointing to our three friends and the Commander atop the wall, Bertholdt glanced at me, hoping I could provide some insight.
"Fuck, who knows. Pyxis is probably considering what me and Armin said, asking Eren if he can control his powers. If they're discussing a possible plan, maybe that's why their discussion is taking so long."
"But what kind of plan? What else can we do?" Reiner chimed in.
"My best guess is that Pyxis is considering plugging up the hole with the giant boulder in town."
"There's no way, Ema. The Garrisons worked throughout the last five years to devise a plan in moving it but they couldn't think of anything," Jean pointed out.
"Why would Pyxis all of a sudden consider using the boulder?" Damn, why was Bertholdt talkative today?
"Again, I can only speculate, but we've never had an opportunity like this to reclaim what the titans have stolen. Pyxis will probably put everything he can into ensuring this plan works; if this is what he's concocting."
"AAATTTTEEEEENNNNNTTTTTIIIIIIIOOOOOONNNNN!"
"Fuck, I didn't think Pyxis could yell so loudly; or so clearly," I muttered beneath my breath as all others froze. Everyone stood motionless, acknowledging the Commander and the younger individual by his side.
"Take note! The blueprint of the Trost Recovery Operation stands as this: our primary objective is to seal the hole! Yes, you heard right; what's more, it will be done manually."
Could the Commander have stated anything crazier? I mean, if he was considering using Eren as the weapon to move the boulder, that's fantastic. How in the hell would he be able to convince rookie cadets and those in the Garrisons to follow through with such a plan? None of these individuals surrounding me would go for such an idea; they would fight to escape rather than reenter Trost.
That's when the murmuring began.
"T-That's impossible...we just don't have the tech," I could hear Marco mutter beside me.
"As for how the task will be done, that's where this fellow comes in." Stepping forward to the walls edge, I could finally make out who the other individual was. "Allow me to introduce Cadet Eren Jaeger."
"What, what the hell?!" mumbled Connie. Jean tensed, angrily watching his rival salute all the survivors before him.
"Don't let appearances deceive you," Pyxis called. "This young man is in fact the successful product of cutting-edge science. Fantastic as this may sound, Cadet Jaeger possesses the ability to fabricate and control a titan body at will."
"For the love of..." Groaning, I rubbed the edge of my temple. "So that's how he's gonna play this off, that's Eren's been a science project all this time."
"There's no other way he can play around it," Jean offered. "If he told the truth, there would be more panic that what they're all feeling now."
"Mmm, that's true." Leaving my answer at that, we remained fixated on hearing out the remainder of the Commander's speech. In the simplest terms possible, he stated how such a plan would work, what Eren would do once in titan form, and the purpose of the other soldiers. As he stated, the plan was simple enough. There were numerous variables we couldn't account for; namely, if Eren would be able to lift the boulder. This plan was risky beyond measure and I only hoped the Commander was willing to risk the amount of bodies that would accumulate once this plan was finished – if it could even be accomplished.
And just like that, one by one soldiers turned and left. Their voices were cold and angry, filled to the brim with confusion for what the Commander was asking. I understood. Such a mission was clouded in mystery, and those who decided to abandon themselves as soldiers couldn't see the certainty of their survival.
"So help me god I'll execute you myself for desertion!" One Garrison strode behind several cadets leaving, grabbing their shoulders to prove his power of authority and for following military regulations.
"Traitors!" Screaming, it was now Captain Woermann to halt those who preferred desertion. "I'll kill you where you stand!" Frown in place and blade in hand, he made way towards two individuals just turning to leave. "Desertion is answered by death!" Screams were followed by his proclamation and all I could do was stare forward. Wanting to stop them all, in reality, there was nothing I could do. My decision was to stay and fight, even though I thought the plan was skeptical. So, I reached for Jean's hand to hold me in place, his grip tight enough to understand my plight.
"Anyone wishing to leave," Pyxis' voice echoed across the entire district. "Will be, by my personal order, not be charged with treason!" His words halted those wishing to flee "Those who have seen a titan firsthand will not be expected to revisit such horror again. Whomever this applies to, you may leave with my blessing. Additionally, anyone with family or loved ones they would spare from the same trauma may also leave; the crown will continue to recognize your service. Thank you and good luck!"
His words had done the trick. As those wishing to leave returned to their original positions. They were still scared, but the Commander's words urged them to continue fighting. If they didn't stand and fight, someone else would. Mainly, they would not be there to stand and protect their families from the same horrors they've already seen.
When he noticed those returning to defend their district, the Commander once again raised his voice to speak. He brought up the reconnaissance mission several months after the walls were breached, reminding all how we were informed it was to reclaim the lands we had lost. In reality, it was to eliminate a certain percentage of the population, a way to control the districts numbers based on available food and all other natural resources as we were severely limited.
"If we're wiped off the face of the earth, the culprits will not have been the titans, let me assure you. No, no; we'll have done it to ourselves. If the line isn't drawn now, it won't be drawn at all. If we must die, let us die here!"
It was quiet when Pyxis finally ended his speech. He allowed his words to sink in for a few moments as the silence gradually faded. People all around us gossiped and still cried, fearing the worst because they decided to stick around and fight as a soldier. I clung to Jean's hand, leaning into his arm as my fingers raised to grip his bicep. We had been separated that morning to fight in different squads and regions, I wasn't about to leave his side now.
"Cadet Emalina Varlen! Please report to me atop the wall!" Friends casting me looks, all I did was blink upon hearing the Commander's voice. Had I just been summoned? Forcing me to release his arm, Jean cupped my cheek, having my eyes face him. Not wanting to keep the Commander waiting, I could only nod as I moved to leave. Telling Jean I would see him again, the man leaned down to kiss the top of my head, leaving me a blushing mess. Shaking off the sudden need to cry, I quickly shoved through the crowd, making way towards an empty area to use my ODM. Once free, I flew over the crowd, sensing their gazes on me as I made record time to the top of the wall, landing right in front of the Garrison Commander.
Saluting, the man waved away the formalities as he addressed me directly. "Emalina, I'm to assume you were in the crowd and know of the proposal, correct?"
"Yes sir."
"Good. As such, there's a part of the plan still in development. Please, follow me." Doing so, the Commander led me the short walk across the wall's width to find Mikasa and Armin, the blonde speaking with Pyxis' personal assistants about the situation at hand. Hearing our footsteps, all turned in our direction and nodded, Armin being the one to greet me by name.
"Emalina, I'm glad you're here."
"I'm just gonna agree with you Armin, since I don't understand why I was called."
Clapping my male friend's shoulder, Pyxis gave light into me being present. "Armin here has been the main soldier calculating and creating our plan to plug the hole. Part of that plan includes keeping all remaining soldiers atop this wall to distract the titans."
Eyeing those before me and glancing at the opposite corner from where the boulder lay, my thoughts immediately grasped Armin's strategy. "Ah, I think I get it. Having more soldiers on the wall means the more body heat the titans can sense. You're wanting to use them as bait to lure all titans away from the boulder so Eren can acquire it with little to no complications."
"Precisely. Armin did mention you were perceptive, which is why he suggested you would be perfect for the role, thus why I have called you here, my dear."
"Hm?" Watching Pyxis, the man stood with such poise. He was one of the rare individuals who never demanded respect, but you admired the man regardless. "Perfect for what role, sir?"
"Emalina," the Commander said. "While the squad moves with Eren to retrieve the boulder, we need an exceptional individual back here to manage the soldiers. Not necessarily to keep them in line, but to keep them motivated until we can secure our victory." Taking a few steps forward until the man was in front of me, Commander Pyxis grasped my shoulders and smiled proudly.
"Cadet Varlen, you will be the one in charge, to command the cadets as you see fit in order to keep these titans at bay; it will be your duty to protect these soldiers. Thus, I am naming you Squad Leader."
~ oOo ~
I hope everyone enjoyed and can't wait for the next chapter!
However, I will be taking a short break from Silence Has Been My Only Friend. I've been so caught up with this story I've neglected my others, for which I feel bad. Trust me, I will be back, I'm having so much fun creating this story. So until then, please read, review and love, love, love!
Chocobocolina :3