There Is A Reason

by DragonGoddess629

The moment Emalina Varlen loses her parents when Shiganshina fell, she decides to join the military in order to become strong. There she meets Jean Kirschtein and instantly there's a connection between the two. But one wants to join the Military Police while the other the Survey Corps. How will these two fare if they choose different regiments?

21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

The Female Titan's Identity

A/N: Tada! A second chapter, well how about that?

This is one of the reason I've been gone for so long. I have something important that needs to stated, so please read the endnotes for more information.

Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me, I only own Emalina and any other OC's. The new story picture does not belong to me; I hold no Copyright and found the picture through Google Images.

~ oOo ~

EMALINA

Come morning, all remaining Scouts rose bright and early, fearing the trek back to our Headquarters outside Trost as it would symbolize the failure in our recent reconnaissance mission. There remained a strong headcount when we left Karanes District yet it was easy to tell those who were missing: Annamarie, Ness, Darius, Oruo, Petra, Gunther, Eld, and many…many more. Though we were ordered to depart come sunrise, myself, my friends and all others trudged our feet, ever slowly guiding our horses home. No one was prepared to face more backlash from the citizens, even those from the government.

Word had spread fast this morning how high ranking government officials heard of the Scouts failure, and were expecting to see Commander Erwin to explain the situation. No one knew if this was true. Considering this mission was one of the worst in regards to death count within a mere few hours. From speculation, if all goes against our plea in continuation to fight for humanity, this could be the end of the Scout Regiment. There was already enough turmoil from the community who didn't want their tax dollars going to such a hopeless cause.

I disagree.

Then again, my reasoning is completely biased.

Regardless, we trekked on. Some were deep in conversation, others remained quiet, as the majority were lost in their own thoughts. I could see Levi up ahead, securing himself between Eren and Mikasa as he was kept in the middle of the formation while she, off to the side. Before leaving, Armin stopped by my room that morning to discuss my injuries. He questioned if I knew what was with Mikasa and how she was avoiding Eren. I gave him the truth; even stating as much that it was my decision, approved by the Commander.

Surprisingly, he wasn't angry. In fact, he was quite surprised, agreeing to an extent, going so far to state he didn't approve of Mikasa's actions towards me. Thankful, I hugged him, as I was worried this could hinder our friendship, considering he's been friends with Mikasa longer than we have.

Oh, sweet, sweet, Armin. He smiled, explaining how I was just as important to him as Eren and Mikasa were. Who knew those words could mean so much to someone? I sure didn't, simply because I was still growing accustomed to having friends who stood by my side. Even with three years now behind me and the ever-growing list of those I could call my friends; sometimes old habits are truly hard to break.

By the time we reached the Scout Headquarters, it was late-afternoon, seeing how we weren't on a strict time schedule, Erwin allowed the slowed pace of his subordinates. Surrounding me the entire journey was Jean, of course, Sasha, Connie Reiner and Bertholdt. The latter two who extremely overbearing, always checking on my injuries, making sure I was ok or if I needed them. Very appreciative, it had grown tiresome, as everyone else was already checking in on me as well. Jean, I could tell, was fuming. We hadn't had time to discuss it, but I had a feeling he was bothered by the attention both males bestowed upon me.

I wasn't blind. They were overprotective, always checking to see how I was. But, was it wrong I appreciated it? They had been there during training, stepping up more so this last month after Marco died. I'd been wondering if Jean saw them as a threat. I couldn't see why. There was no way either one could feel that way about me. Could they? And even if they did, I only saw them as my best friends who were like brothers to me nothing more.

But it wasn't like that, I was sure.

~ oOo ~

By the time we arrived at Headquarters with barely any time to ourselves, Erwin had stopped by my room, requesting Jean and I meet him at his office. Confused, we obliged. Walking through the halls of our own Headquarters was wonderful; not seeing the faces of those we lost was miserable. Those who remained were in mourning; all of us were. This was a difficult time. Hell, any time after a mission was horrendous as there was always death. That one variable was a common theme within the Scouts. We would sacrifice our lives to better those we fought for.

And sometimes, it was all for nought.

Having arrived at Erwin's office, Jean knocked. The Commander's voice allowed and we were surprised to find Mikasa and Armin there as well. Going to stand beside them in from of the Commander's desk, Jean stood between me and Mikasa, to which I thanked him under my breath.

"Thank you for coming here today, I know with yesterday we are all tired and would like nothing more than to rest. However, there is a matter at hand I would like to speak to you four about, which cannot wait; thus, why I have called you here." Standing from his position, Erwin moved to lean against the front of his desk, leaning against its wooden frame. "I'm aware there are other individuals who had contact with the Female Titan. However, you four have had extensive contact, from what I've heard."

"Yes sir," I responded, keeping my arms crossed for comfort.

"Good," he commented. "I'd like to hear from each of you and your opinions in determining what we can make of the Female Titan."

"Our…opinions, sir?" Armin asked cautiously.

"Yes," he uttered. "The Female Titan must be taken down, meaning, we need to uncover her identity."

"And how do you propose we do that?" asked Mikasa.

"Your four spent time with her. What were her characteristics, her traits?"

Grappling his chin in consideration, Armin opened then closed his mouth. "Sir, with all due respect, do you mean to go after this individual if we can correctly identify her?"

"Of course I do. She is a threat to us all and needs to be removed. In a discussion I've previously had with Emalina, she may be the missing link between the Colossal and Armored Titans as well." The other two peered over at me, however, Armin was quick to begin his deduction.

"Well, Jean, Ema, Reiner and I encountered the Female out in the field before we all stopped at the forest. By the time we were free and could escape, I had already come to the conclusion she was someone who had graduated with us from the 104th Cadet Corp."

Eyes wides at her best friend, Mikasa didn't seem convinced. "Wait a minute. They graduated with us? How're you so sure?"

"From one simple fact," Armin held a finger up. "The Female was about to attack Jean, so I yelled Eren's nickname 'suicidal maniac,' something from only our group would know. She instantly stopped her attack because I yelled that she had already killed him."

Stroking his chin, Erwin watched our interactions, listening intently to our words. "That is interesting, and definitely the type of evidentiary support we need. If that is the truth, then we can deduce a group of people who could be the culprit. The question is, who is it?"

"I know who it is."

All eyes turned to me, even Jean, as he had no idea I knew.

"What the…you knew this whole time? Why haven't you said anything, Emalina?!"

Waving his hand, Erwin intervened. "Calm down Mikasa. Please, explain who you think it could be, Emalina."

Swallowing, I peered over at Jean. He may not know who I considered to be the culprit, but he still supported me regardless. "I have my reasons to believe the Female Titan is indeed a member of our graduating class, and that person is…Annie Leonhart."

Collective gasps escaped my friends, while Erwin merely waited for me to explain.

Grasping the side of my head, I exhaled loudly. "Look, I know this could potentially be a huge mistake to misidentify who the real Female is, but I'm certain it's Annie. And my reasons are thus:

While in pursuit of her, Armin had us cover our heads with the hood to hide our identity as he discovered she was looking for someone specific. It wasn't until he mentioned the nickname did I realize she was after Eren. This fact we already know. It was also conspicuous how she altered her path and headed straight towards Eren's location.

Secondly, I doubted this individual was part of the Scouts. It would've taken someone with skills in stealth to maneuver their way from the assigned post in the field. Someone would've noticed the person gone and reported it for abandoning their post - and we heard nothing of the sort. And also, to me, it seems logical to be a part of a separate regiment than the one containing your target.

Lastly, I witnessed the fight between the Female and Eren. Her fighting technique is the same as Annie's, there's no doubt about that."

"You serious Ema? You mean, she actually fought like this?" Jean gripped his fists, holding his arms rigid in front of his chest, the exact defensive form Annie has.

"That's exactly what she did Jean. Erwin, no one fights like she does."

"I can confirm that," Mikasa added, surprising myself she would even agree with something I said. "No one else could learn her fighting style, no matter how hard they tried. It was unique only to her. She used the shin to fight, only the foot when needed."

"Hmmm, yes this is all very compelling. Levi will definitely want to hear about this."

Taking a breath, Mikasa suggested her own evidence. "There's…also the fact Annie and the Female look similar as well. Chin length cut, same blonde hair. Even the eyes were squinted as Annie's were."

Taken back, I sealed my lips shut. Though I agreed Mikasa was telling the truth, I didn't believe you could use such an example as basis for evidence to incriminate another. She claims they looked alike? Yeah, I could see the resemblance, but that's not something you could make a full judgement on.

Nodding his head, Erwin stood to his full height. "Yes, yes all of what you have claimed should work. However, there is still work to be done and I think you four can assist me in concocting the plan." Moving off to his shelves along the wall, Erwin removed a long piece of paper, only unrolling it once he was place it upon his desk. Inspecting the paper, I was surprised to see a detailed map of the Stohess District.

"I believe Emalina is on to something that whoever the Female Titan is wasn't an individual within the Scouts. So, if the Female is Annie, then she would be in Stohess, as she was the only cadet graduate to accept a placement within the Military Police."

Jean entered the conversation. "So…what, we plan on kidnapping her or something?"

Erwin smirked. "Something along those lines."

"Wait a minute. Isn't Eren due to be in the capital within the next few days? Wouldn't the MP's be placed all along the route inside Stohess to guard the carriage?"

"You are Correct Jean, I am impressed. As part of the MP's, Annie will most likely be on active duty that day, which means we need a plan to divert her attention away from her duties to focus on us."

"I see…we establish a ruse in pretending we need her help," Armin commented, glancing over the map. "Wait…if Eren is to be in the capital…I got it!" Slamming his hand on the table, Armin grinned. "What if we have someone disguised as Eren while he, Mikasa and I search for Annie and plead for her to manage an escape route outside of the district for us? We can lie and claim we're trying to escape the city to avoid possible execution."

"That's not bad. A ruse against her would be the best possible way. But what then, and where? Are we trying to get her to transform into her titan while in the city?" Fingering along the map, I was looking for a tunnel, a specific passageway, something that could keep her within a safe distance of the townspeople.

"If we are to use Armin's plan, the best possible situation would be to have Annie be underground, that way she has a leesslikely chance to transform. Emalina, you have a point as well. I believe the purpose of this is to have Annie pay for her crimes."

"If only it could be that simple," I mumbled.

"Nothing is ever simple, Emalina," the other female commented sharply, her own eyes wandering over the map.

"I'm very aware, Mikasa."

~ oOo ~

JEAN

It had been a long afternoon.

Spending the afternoon in the Commander's office, I wasn't all that prepared to spend another hour or so reiterating the conversation we just had. Myself, Emalina, Armin and Mikasa were all called in to Erwin's office were he spoke with us individually then as a group, trying to gain as much information on the Female Titan he could. Other than when the veterans had contained her inside the forest, Emalina, Armin, Reiner and I had been the ones to intervene the longest with her out in the field; we probably had more knowledge on her skills than the others. Along with Emalina, who had witnessed the titan fight between the Female and Eren.

All in all, it was pretty frightening what we discussed.

Once we were done, Erwin led us down into the Mess Hall. Levi and Eren had patiently been waiting for us - though I couldn't see Eren being patient at all. The plan was to divulge our discovery to Eren, hoping he could shed some light on what he witnessed with the Female. Maybe it could connect the dots of those we already had, or even shine light on new facts.

Emalina was fidgety the entire time. In the walk from Erwin's office to the Mess Hall, I held her hand, her grip tight as she glanced at me from her peripheral. There were probably several more reasons to her nervousness. One in particular was Mikasa. Right now, Emalina was not comfortable being in the same room, let alone within a few feet of the other female. Understandably, considering the pain she was in. Several times throughout the day she'd twisted her neck or leg wrong, leaving a harsh groan to escape her lips. The poor thing was tired. Her adrenaline from the previous door all but shot, and now, she just needed sleep.

Pushing through the door, Erwin called out, "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Sir!" Eren saluted, quickly standing to his feet when he noticed all of us behind the Commander. "Huh? What the…? Why-Why're you all here?"

Not wanting to mince words, Erwin went straight to the point. "We believe we've uncovered the Female Titan's true identity. She won't slip away this time."

Hand held forward for us to sit first, we made it to our seats. Armin sat between Mikasa and Eren, while Emalina sat between me and the Commander. Unfolding the parchment he'd brought from his office, Erwin flopped it upon the table. Eren's face grew confused as I remained solemn. Beside me, Emalina still fidgeted in her seat. I could see her glance every now and then up to Mikasa, whose own vision was dead set on my partner.

"The day after tomorrow, we'll be passing through Stohess District en route to the capital. That's when we'll strike." Sitting at the tables head, Levi nodded, glancing from the paper in hand to the map as if he already understood the plan. " It'll be our first and only chance to do so. Once we set foot in the interior, the government will assume custody of Eren and the Scout's authority to continue operations will be limited. Thus…unless we wish to concede defeat, we must flush out the enemy now. So here's what we do."

Dragging his finger along the red arrow he marked during our meeting earlier, he continued his speech. "While in Stohess, we'll use Eren as bait, luring the target into this underground passage," he tapped the specific marking, circling several times. "The deeper the better. Get her well beneath street level. That done, she should be easily immobilized, even in titan form. If she transforms before reaching the tunnel…well, at that point she'll be your responsibility Eren."

Rigid, it seemed Eren was merely following along with the plan. Tch, as if he could understand or accept what this was all really about. "…right. So…my job is to…"

"Stop her from going awol," the Commander finished for him.

"Wait, you mean she's…?"

"Armin and Emalina are the ones who identified her." Face fallen slightly, titan boy swiveled to his best friend, then shot his attention to Emalina. She simply stared right back, never moving, never blinking. "She's an MP, likely responsible for the death of Hange's test subjects and a fellow trainee in the 104th Cadet Corp"

That's what tipped him over the edge.

He gasped. "You…you can't be serious. I trained with her?!"

"We all trained with her, Eren," Emalina commented quietly. "We've all had interactions with her, not just you."

Mikasa growled. "He's aware of that, Emalina. There's no reason in pointing that out."

"Enough." Thankfully Levi stepped in, hand held outward in front of Mikasa who immediately stopped talking.

I'm the one who should have said something. But here I sat, hand around Emalina's with my lips tied shut. Why couldn't I say anything, is the right question to ask. Simple. Mikasa has scratched my anger to the point I'd most likely bite her head off the moment she says or does something to Emalina again.

Allowing a moment to pass, Erwin then said, "I'm sorry but yes; she's one of us."

"No…it, it can't be."

"Yes. Her name…is Annie Leonhart."

"You…you think it's Annie…? Wh-Where's your evidence? Tell me!"

"Obviously the Female Titan knew what you looked like before she attacked. Plus, she reacted to my use of your 'suicidal maniac' nickname, something only our classmates would know. But the biggest reason I suspect her, is that I have strong reason to believe she's she's the one who killed Sawney and Bean," Armin stated.

"You're kinda goin' out on a limb there."

"Killing two titans at once required a precision ODM strike, and out of everyone in our class, there are only two people capable of such a feat: Annie and Emalina. It only makes sense that the killer would have used the gear they were most familiar with."

"T-Then off your own argument, if there are only two people from our class who could do it, then Emalina could very well be the Female Titan!" Shoving his finger to her face, all other fell silent, except for me.

"Excuse me? Do you have any idea what you're insinuating, Jaeger?!" Slamming my hands onto the table, I stood. Emalina fell silent, confusion etched across her face. "Emalina is NOT the Female Titan!"

"Then where's your proof?!"

"Because she and I fought the damn thing! We tried to give the other Scouts enough of a leeway to outrun her!"

"Eren!" Able to steal her friend's attention, Armin dragged his ass back down by the sleeve. "Your accusation is incorrect and wrongfully place. Jean's right, Emalina's not the culprit because I fought alongside the two of them, as well as Reiner."

"Alright, enough!" Stepping in, Levi shook his head. "Jean's right, do you have any idea how fucking stupid you sound claiming my own sister is the titan? She's the one who went after your ass in the first place."

"Wait…she did?"

"Yes!" I growled. "If it wasn't for her and Levi, you would've been eaten!"

"That's…" Eren glanced around Armin. "Mikasa, that's not what you told me. You said it was only you and the Captain."

My blood boiled. "She…what?!"

"Erwin, please continue." Shaking his head, Levi leaned close to Mikasa, loudly whispering, "We'll talk when this is over."

Silence fell. I stared Eren down; for him to actually accuse Emalina…? The little suicidal fucker!

"Um…so…Annie most likely used her own gear to kill the test subjects."

Groaning, titan boy was still quiet for a moment. In that short silence, Mikasa dared to lift her head, narrowing her eyes to Emalina; she was then met with my own glare. "But, there was that whole equipment inspection; Annie's totally checked out."

"Except…the gear she presented, well, it…it wasn't hers." Hearing the change in Armin's voice, Emalina and I turned to the male, curious as to why he suddenly seemed nervous. Peering at the two of us, he bowed his head again. "…it was Marco's."

Tensing beside me, Emalina moved closer to the edge of her chair. Likewise, I was all ears to hear this story. The two of use were on the other side of Armin who had been right beside Annie during the inspection. Granted, we were still in disbelief by his death, but how in the hell could we have missed that?!

Seemingly just as shocked, titan boy did nothing but gasp. "I-I don't understand. What's Marco got to do with all this?!"

"…it's unclear." He spared another glance at us.

"Then maybe you need to get your eyes checked!"

"Eren, I know what I saw - !"

"Ok, we get it." Dropping his paper, Levi stared upwards at them. "Do you have anything else on her? Any sort of concrete evidence?"

"N-Nothing, sir."

Speaking up for the first time, outside of bullying Emalina, Mikasa was able to offer her own insight. "There's the fact that she looks like the Female Titan, that's - ."

Eren, standing to his feet once more, was yelling at this point. I knew he wouldn't be able to believe what we had to say but this? I thought he'd be able to remember something when he fought the Female on his own. "Really?! What the hell's wrong with you?! What kind of evidence is that!"

Grasping his nose, Levi moaned. "So basically we're going after her without proof."

"Even if the Female Titan does look like Annie, it's not reliable evidence to base our entire claim on."

"You just have an answer for everything, don't you Emalina," Mikasa spat.

Sighing, her shoulders fell. "No I don't. Considering I'm one of the few who had the most contact with her yesterday, I at least have the right to speak." Waiting to be turned down, both Erwin and Levi waved their hand for her to carry on. "Basing a claim on one's appearance is basically the same as one's own bias. It's an opinion, nothing more, because how you see someone physically is an aesthetic that can only be interpreted individually, not by the masses. Besides," Emalina narrowed her words to Mikasa next. "If Annie looks like the Female Titan, why weren't you able to identify Eren when you ran into his titan form, Mikasa?"

"T-That's different! I knew it was him, and - !"

"No you didn't," Emalina interrupted, pointing out the obvious. "Not once in the time you met us at Headquarters until we realized it was Eren inside the titan did you stop and think it could be him just from his titan appearance. You didn't mention it, or even claim it could be him. By that fact, if you couldn't identify Eren in his Titan Form by his similar appearance, then that means we can't do the same with Annie."

She growled. "Then what are we supposed to go off of?"

"Hold up!" Eren gained everyone's attention. "You're kidding me, right? This is insane. What if it's not her? What if she's not the monster you all say she is?!"

"If it's not her, she'll be cleared, end of story." I knew Mikasa could be cold, yet…this heartless? And to think I actually had a crush on her.

"No one wants to condemn her prematurely, least of all me." Face contorted in grievance, Armin was struggling. He knew his words held more meaning that he thought. If we fell through with this plan, he would be condemning someone we had been close to for the last three years. "But, either we make a move on circumstantial evidence or we sit back and let the central government condemn you."

"Do you even hear yourselves? You're talking about Annie!"

"Eren, don't stand there and tell me this conversation isn't ringing any bells. About her techniques that seem familiar?"

"Eren…" Head lifting towards Emalina, the woman sighed. "I was there when you and Annie fought. I saw everything."

"So it appears this fight between the two of them is the deciding factor for our claim. What did you see, Ema?" Levi asked.

"It was a normal brawl to start with," she began. "For titans, both seemed evenly matched. But…when Eren was able to get the upper hand on her, something in the Female snapped, and I think she realized she had to do something outrageous to change the outcome." Staring at Erwin and her brother, Emalina didn't mince her next statement. "Annie's always been cool and calculated, never one to snap or show her true self unless it was needed.

Here, she actually showed her true self, through the unique defensive maneuvers she learned from her father. There's no doubt it's Annie. She has an insanely unique move with her leg where she can kick to high hell. And her go to defensive pose? Is this." Fists held tightly in front, Emalina demonstrated the pose all of us had seen before. Arms locked in straight lines, she was mimicking Annie's signature pose to a tee. "Out of everyone I know who tried to copy Annie, Eren's the only one who was able to succeed, even then it was a weak attempt compared to hers."

"No!" Fists banged on the table. "Stop it Emalina, just stop it! Annie's not the Female Titan, she just isn't!"

"Knock it off Eren!" She copied his volume, raising her voice if not louder. Shakily standing to her feet, Emalina clutched her thigh, holding it in place as she stood. "Everyone here has faced the facts, so it's time for you to do the same. Annie's the Female Titan, and the only reason you can't see the truth is that you can't believe the people you've trusted could betray you in such a way! Because then that would only mean you were friends with the people who tore in through the inner wall. I was there when she defeated you, watched as she sliced your head in two with only her foot!"

"Just stop Emalina!" Mikasa was now the third person to stand. "He doesn't deserve to be yelled at, least of all by you!"

"Oh my goodness…" Emalina rubbed her temple. "Someone needs to lay it out for him. This isn't the time to whine and complain about how he thinks we're wrong despite all that's been seen and reported!"

"He doesn't deserve this! Eren's been through something traumatic, so you need to back off!"

In and instant, Emalina fell quiet. Mouth opening then closing, she was at a loss for words. Hell, we all we at this point. "Something…something traumatic…?" Plopping back onto her seat, she merely sat.

The previous moments of silence from earlier could not compare to this. Armin closed his eyes; Erwin shook his head; Levi nearly tore his paper in half; whereas I simply sat in my chair, fuming beyond belief. A pin could drop and be heard in the next room. The silence was eerie and the tension slithering across our shoulders. Oh no, shit was about to go down. This time, I was ready.

"So…out of everyone…all the Scouts who left the walls at Karanes District…none of them suffered? None of them went through something traumatic? Even if they didn't get hurt, seeing their friends and comrades die, that doesn't count?" When an answer wasn't returned, Emalina chuckled. "Alright, let me ask you this. Eren's trauma…is that from yesterday or are you still using that as an excuse from when you were in Shiganshina?"

Armin gasped. I quickly caught on to her words, curious where she was going with it.

"How dare you speak of what we went through! Were you there? You have no idea what we witnessed that day! Eren and I saw his mom get eaten, along with everyone else around us. We almost died!"

"And have you somehow forgotten where I'm from, Mikasa?! I also watched my mom get eaten, as well as my dad! My aunts, uncles, neighbors…all of them were bitten and swallowed. I am the last survivor from Uma! But at least you had Armin and Eren by your side. How fortunate for you to have almost died with people you care for by your side whereas I was alone. I had nobody to turn to in the time I was able to escape!"

"Oh who cares, Emalina! You pull this same story over and over whenever someone mentions the titans. 'Oh I lost my family' this, or 'I saw them get eaten' that."

"How dare you - !"

"Or the fact you only had your stupid horse with you! I lost my parents the year prior, I watched their murder! But you don't see me talking about it like you do! Geez, you think you're something special? Eren now has to deal with being a titan, and he's already had someone come after him? Can you even imagine?!"

"Mikasa - !"

"You can't, can you? That's right, because Emalina Varlen can do no wrong! Your version of trauma is nothing compared to what Eren's had to go through!"

"Knock it off Mikasa!"

The female's lips clamped shut immediately. Screaming, Emalina's voice echoed across the hall, bouncing within my ears.

"You need to wake up, just like Eren," she huffed, breathing coarse. "You stand there and yell at me. Do you even realize what you're doing? What you have done in the time I've known you?" Somehow, Mikasa remained quiet. "You walk all over others just to ensure Eren stays pure in your eyes. For you, he can do no wrong, and when he does, you blame others for his mistakes. You smother and give him a freebie for everything! Do you not understand?

So why is it ok for Eren to walk away whereas others cannot? Eren's suffered through a traumatic experience in Trost and yesterday. I'll agree to that; but only him, no one else? What about Jean? Armin? Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Christa, Ymir. Or, hell, what about all my friends I lost yesterday?! My mentors Ness and Annamarie! Hell, even me! I've seen the titans up close and personal, just like you, doesn't mean yesterday was a walk in the fucking park!

You sit and worry only about Eren, no one else. Where's your empathy for those who have died? Or are you only content because he didn't die?!" She pointed at Eren, who stared incredulously at the woman. "Whenever he's involved, he's all you focus on. Yesterday, did you help cover any of the dead? Did you carry them to the wagons? You did not, because I watched you! The moment we made it to the rendezvous point you instantly took Eren to a spare wagon and sat with him the whole time. Where's your sense of camaraderie? Hell, where's your duty as a Scout?!"

"Someone had to take care of him! He was almost swallowed by the Female!"

"He was unconscious and would've survived twenty minutes without your constant smothering nature!" Hands falling to the table for support, Emalina grasped her leg, breathing heavily as she forced herself to keep standing. "Mikasa, everyone has the right to feel they went through something traumatic; you, and myself included.

Mikasa narrowed her vision, and I knew exactly where she was staring: Emalina's neck. "It's your own fault you're suffering from those injuries. If you hadn't gotten in my way, I would've been able to save Eren a lot faster had you not tackled me!"

"Stop it! Just stop it already! For three years I've never felt comfortable around you Mikasa. You never allow others to feel their pain, only thinking of yours! You don't allow others to talk about their experiences, or feel their own pain. Fucking shit, I'm barely able to stand right now because of you! I tried saving you from being attacked by the Female. Instead you attacked me and fucking sliced my neck and thigh!"

"Whoa whoa, hold up!" Able to calm the females down for a few seconds, Eren switched his gaze between them. "Mikasa, you told me it was only you and Levi who came to get me! What the hell is going on?"

"You did WHAT?!" My voice rose over all others. Holding Emalina against me, the poor woman was shaking; with rage or heartache, I did not know.

Surprised on my part, Emalina began to silently cry. Noiseless streams poured down her face as she stared Mikasa across the table. "You…you couldn't even tell the truth for what you've done? Have you no shame, Mikasa?" Sniffling, she pushed herself away from the table. "I, um…Erwin?"

"Yes Emalina?" Our Commander peered down to her, hand calmly placed on her shoulder.

"…I'm sorry, but I can't stay here any longer. May I p-please be excused?"

Nodding, the man let go, moving out of the way so she could leave. "Of course."

And then she was gone, quickly making her way out of the room without looking back. I wanted to go after her; I had to go find her. Levi didn't need to stare me down to keep me here as Emalina needed her space. True, she was running away from the situation, but not from her emotions. Compared to the situation yesterday when she fled, this was different.

Or was it? I thought it was. Then again, yesterday she wasn't treated in such a manner.

Turning my attention back to Mikasa, who had a nonchalant facade, I was stern with my words. "You lied to Eren about Ema's injuries?! Tch, of course you would," my voice snarled. "Didn't want Eren to know how Ema up and saved your ass from the Female, or that you freaked out and turned your blade on her!"

"That is enough!" Nearly everybody was on their feet now, Levi included, whose voice was the next to become loud. Sharing a look with the Commander, Levi sighed, maneuvering around the table so he was behind his sister. "At this point, we all understand the plan. You have two days to prepare, in which Jean will go undercover as Eren while he, Armin and Mikasa while the rest of the Scouts will blend in with the district citizens until we can secure Annie. I suggest we all head to our rooms for the evening."

"I agree with Levi," Erwin stepped forward, having finally spoke after remaining silent to watch the spectacle before him. "Everyone is to remain in the castle or close to the grounds tomorrow. I don't want any of you wandering off when the following day is crucial for the Scouts survival." As the four of us moved to leave, Erwin held his hand out one last time. "Everyone except you, Ackerman. We need to have a little talk."

Ignoring the calls from Eren as he closed the door behind us, I only nodded to Armin while ignoring his friend. My main concern right now was Emalina. Fuck Jaeger and what he was experiencing. Saying something along those lines makes me sound petty, but who should I help in the moment? The male who I'd been arguing with for years or the woman I loved and was now my partner?

Tch, at least the answer was easy enough.

Running through Headquarters, I searched through every room Emalina would most likely occupy. She wasn't in her room, nor the library or Mess Hall. The next stop on my list was the stables, as she most likely was taking care of Freyja when my feet suddenly halted. Hiding behind the open archway leading outside, I spotted Emalina with Reiner, sitting against the stone wall. Not one for eavesdropping, I determined this was important, so I kept myself hidden in the shadows, easily able to hear their conversation.

I'd become suspicious of Reiner over the last few weeks. It wasn't until I noticed his interaction with Emalina during the mission did I really consider he might have an ulterior motive than just being her friend. I doubt she even considered the possibility of Reiner having feelings for her. Emalina simply saw him as one of her best friends, one might even say she almost considered him a brother, much like Levi.

"Hold up…" Reiner's deep voice pulled me from my thoughts. "You're telling me she lied to Eren about your injuries? So he had no fucking idea she was the culprit until you mentioned it during the meeting?"

"P-Pretty much," my girl sniffled. Knees pulled closely to her chest, Emalina laid her head down, Reiner rubbing circles into her back. Consumed with rage, my fists tightened. That's supposed to be MY job!

"Damn," he muttered. "Mikasa's already in deep shit with your brother. You have any idea what they're discussing right now?"

She shook her head. "Can't say. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they didn't suggest her being discharged."

"Yeah…I mean, at this point she's basically harassing you." Rubbing his temples, Reiner tugged her against him, Emalina laying her head against his bulky shoulder.

That's supposed to be my shoulder.

Fuck…don't tell me I'm jealous of Reiner?

"There's nothing I can do now, other than my job as a Scout."

"But what in the hell started all this? I mean…she wasn't the nicest to you, but what changed in the last month?"

"You tell me, because I didn't think I did anything!"

"Whoa calm down girl! I know you haven't done anything!" Chuckling, the man ruffled her hair, and from my somewhat distant position, I could see Emalina's frown turn into a small smile. "I dunno what's been up Mikasa's ass lately, and frankly, I don't care. I just want you to know that whatever happens with her, I'll be here to back you up."

She managed a chuckle. "Just you? Whatever happened to my army of friends?"

"Oh, they're still here. And Jean, we can't forget him, now can we?" Lips tightening, I was surprised and caught off guard to see her reaction. Cheek instantly reddened, Emalina had pushed her lips together, as if fighting her own smile.

Moving some strands of hair away from her face, she quickly nodded. "No, we cannot forget about him." This caused Reiner's lips to fall, but only for a moment.

I'm not sure if she was able to see. His facade had faltered, and I saw it all.

"What on earth are you doing?"

Hand clamped over my mouth, I nearly screamed. I jumped in my position, ready to turn and curse whoever had just scared the hell out of me. To my act of being surprised while not-so-surprised, it was Sasha and Connie, both arms crossed as they stared me down. Caught in the act, I rubbed my neck. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"From what I can tell," Sasha craned her neck around the stone edge. "You're eavesdropping on Reiner and Emalina."

"W-Well why wouldn't I?!"

"Man, that's kinda low, even for you." Now it was Connie's turn to guilt me.

"For the love of - !" Taking a deep breath, I lowered my voice. "Reiner's been acting strange around Emalina and…and yes I eavesdropped on them, alright? Fuck, what am I supposed to do? Let him have her?"

"C'mon man!" Connie smacked my arm. "He won't have her because she's with you, ya dumb asshole!"

"Seriously Jean! I didn't think you were this stupid to think Ema would up and leave you for Reiner."

"That's not - ! I Don't - ! Ugh, cut met some slack, will ya?"

Still holding his grip on my arm, Connie gripped his hand harder. "Listen to us. Emalina is head over heels crazy for you; she won't leave, ever. She especially won't up and leave you for Reiner; we know she doesn't see him that way, and we know you do too."

Shoulders slumped, Sasha came over to pat my arm as well. Was this a pity part or something? "How…How can I not think that? He's always there when I couldn't be. And ever since Trost, he's been acting weird around her. I have no idea how to bring it up to Ema."

"I think she already knows, Jean. However, you do have the right to bring it up if you're this concerned," Sasha pointed out.

My eyebrows rose sharply. "You think?"

"Yes," they stated simultaneously.

"Now c'mon, enough of the eavesdropping! We've got our friend to cheer up!" Dragging me outside the archway, Connie and Sasha pulled me away when he realized Bertholdt was there as well, sitting on the opposite side of her. At the crunch of our boots, all three glanced upward to see us making our way over. Shooting up from her seat, Emalina limped the rest of the way, tackling me in a tight hug as I engulfed her against my chest. Narrowing my vision at Reiner, he returned the same look.

"You're here!" Setting the woman back onto her feet, my thumbs whisked away several loose tears trailing down her chin. Sniffling, she added, "Did the meeting last that long after I left?"

"No, not really. But I couldn't find you until I ran into Connie and Sasha who said you were out here." Craning my head towards them, they nodded, knowing to not speak of what I had done. They were right, how I had to speak of my concerns to Emalina; and I would do so, when we were alone later tonight.

"I'm glad you're here now," she smiled as I dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else, kitten," I whispered to her.

"Hey," Bertholdt softly interrupted as he and Reiner stood from their seats. "Emalina, since everyone's here now, why don't you share the idea you had?"

Eye brightening, we all gathered together, listening in on what she had planned. Seeing as she wasn't able to properly say goodbye to her friends, she thought it would be respectful if we lit a bonfire later that evening and simply talked amongst one another. So, that's what we did.

After eating, we all met at the stone courtyard after changing into clothing more appropriate and comfortable; however, we all donned our Scout cloaks in respect. Taking time to gather some wood, we all returned to our designated position, established a decent sized fire pit and set the wood ablaze. We all curled around together, sitting side-by-side to stare into the flames. Out here, it was quiet, more so than being in Trost. At night, there were still people shopping out in the street, drunkards leaving the saloons late to make their way home, along with people who simply rowdy. Here, the silence was the only sound we could here over the crackling of the fire.

I'd never been one to consider living outside a district. Hell, I never thought I'd even live outside Trost, yet here I was. Emalina and I have had the discussion of where we would live if we were to ever marry and own our own house, to which we both agreed somewhere close to a city yet far enough away we were in the countryside would be perfect. I could see why she missed her hometown. The tranquility of such peace is something I've never experienced.

I wanted this to become my norm.

Flames danced upon her features as Emalina leaned into my frame. Arm held over her shoulder, the others were discussing about the time they spent with those who had died. Emalina shared her memories being heading off to training, how she worked with Annamarie during the 103rd Corp group and how she taught Ness to calm his horse. Her stories brought laughter, while some brought tears.

"Emalina?"

"Yes, Sasha?"

"Would it be wrong…if I asked if you could sing again? Remember the song you sang in Trost? I think our comrades would appreciate that very much."

Glancing around everyone else nodded in agreement. Waiting for my response, I whispered, "I'd love to hear you sing again. As long as you're ok with it."

She chuckled. "Alright, because Sasha asked so nicely." She winked at her best friend, the two woman instantly in a fit of giggles. Standing, she asked for all of us to step aside, as she would perform the ritual as they had done in Uma. Facing the fire, she hummed, all of us intently watching, waiting for her magic to spill forth and capture us all. The woman had already done so. There was…something about Emalina that captivated the attention of those surrounding her.

"Du kan om du vil

Ingen kan ta ditt valg

Bare plante tvil

Det er så mange veier å gå

Mange mål som kan nåes om du våger

Å tro på at du har det som skal til"

Speechless at the wonders of her voice, it was a surprise to us all when she started moving slightly. A twist of her hip there, a twirl around the fire there. Everything tied in together; she jumped, spun around the fire, clapped her hands in time with her singing; it was a beautiful sight. And just like that, it was over, the only remembrance of her performance was the echo of the soft blowing of the wind, and the memory we now held.

Clapping sprang through our ears, to which we noticed Erwin, Levi and Hange all stepping forth from the main entrance. They seemed surprised we were all here, asking the purpose of the fire. Connie spoke, admitting it was Emalina's idea to honor those we've lost. Erwin was impressed, Hange seemed overrun with emotion as she snuggled Emalina to her chest. Levi, on the other hand, did something no one had ever seen him do. He yanked Hange off his sister and pulled her into a hug of his very own. Around me, the others gasped as I merely smiled. From my position, I could hear Levi mutter 'thank you' as he walked back inside.

I swore I saw a tear roll down his face.

After that, we were instructed to douse the flame and head inside, as four of our six person group were to leave Headquarters tomorrow for the safe house. Following orders, we covered the fire with sand and dirt, as air causes an extensive creation of smoke. Staring up at the stars one last time, we each bid one another good night, as we would wish our friends safe travels come morning.

~ oOo ~

Morning came all too quickly. Prepped and ready to go by the time the sun was in the midst of the sky, Miche, Nanaba, Gelgar, Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Christa and Ymir were all strapped in their steeds with cases of food and their ODM gear. Instructions were given to the veterans if we were to fail the following day in Stohess, or regarding what to do in the aftermath of our potential success.

Sasha hung onto Emalina far longer than the veterans cared for, eventually dragged off by Levi. We were promised they wouldn't be gone long, as this was a precautionary measure. Though I agreed, it still seemed out of the ordinary to split up the Scouts when a majority of them would be in Stohess regardless. I wasn't wanting to contradict Erwin's orders, so I simply let the matter pass.

As we watched the backs of our friends leave, Emalina and I were scheduled to meet with everyone tasked in the mission tomorrow. Erwin was careful in explaining the plan, ensuring everyone knew their positions, the plan, and several different outcomes depending on when, where and if we elicit Annie from her secret. Everyone seemed comfortable with the plan, knowing their place and duty, who was to remain by the wall and those to follow Eren as undercover citizens.

When it came to discussing my role, Emalina cringed, still hating the aspect I was to disguise myself as Eren. However, Erwin next explained the purpose of Emalina's position, as hers was to be the upmost important. Most were surprised she was allowed to even be involved, considering the state of her injuries. Sure, she could walk around fairly easily, but the placement of each gash and the stitches were cause for concern when it came to her gear. I wasn't sure if Emalina knew of her involvement. I didn't, that's for sure, and the look on my face probably said it all to those who could see me.

Emalina would be the overseer in this mission. Those who weren't sure what to do, or if some unknown variable occurred, she would make the next decision in the field as Hange's Squad would be waiting towards the wall in case the Female escaped. Erwin made it very clear she was not to fight, and allowed the others to stop her if necessary. Her injuries were still fresh, and he was pushing the limit in having her operate the ODM gear. Emalina must've argued long and hard with our Commander to even be allowed in the field, much less to do job she was assigned.

Once the meeting adjourned, Erwin advised everyone to rest as much they could while preparing everything they needed for the following day. Emalina and I had already made a list of tasks we wanted to complete. All the preparation and last minute meetings reminded me of the day leading to our departure to Karanes; everyone tried to remain busy while simultaneously productive. Come sunset, we had bathed Freyja and Trigger; polished their saddles; clean and prepared our gear; folded our clothing for the morning. We even had time to disinfect Emalina's sutures, packing extra gauze and bandages around her thigh, as we didn't want to run the risk of having no time come morning.

And then, lo and behold, the sun had finally set.

Filling our plates and mugs with whatever we wanted for dinner, Emalina and I decided we deserved the night for ourselves. Ignoring the stares and calls from others, we traversed from the Mess Hall on the main floor to my room up on the third. We decided privacy was something we craved, seeing as how the following day could end in tragedy, rather than success. And if that were to happen, we had no knowledge what would be bestowed upon us.

Sitting comfortably on the bed, I first but into my roll, suddenly turning my attention, as I typically wanted for a certain someone to ask for my food. Chuckling, Emalina quirked an eyebrow at my sudden amusement. "Heh, I'm so used to Sasha being here, I expected her to beg us for food."

"Right?!" Emalina squealed happily. She was chuckling too, only for her grin to falter. "I miss her. I know she was just here…but we've had nearly all our meals together since becoming friends."

Gripping her hand, her smile returned. "I do too. She and Connie have become important to me. Though, not as important as you," I added.

"Well, well. Look who's being so sly," she nudged an elbow into my side.

"Someone's gotta be the cool one."

"Then I'll make sure to tell Connie that."

"Ouch, that one hurt."

Finding ourselves in a fit of giggles, I kissed her forehead, glad to see her smile remained. We each had enough on our minds, as this would not only determine Eren's fate, but the Scout's, along with the lives of humanity. If we are unable to capture Annie, who knows what could happen, or where she'll go.

"Jean, will we survive tomorrow?"

"Survive?" I questioned her meaning. "You mean literally?"

"K-Kinda…mainly I'm wondering if we'll make it out from trying to take Annie down; there's so much we don't know. Sure, I think we have a decent amount of evidence against Annie to say it's her, and yet…my gut is saying something else."

"I think you're just worried, and that's ok, I am too."

"True, I am worried…however, I think it's more than that."

Setting our now empty plates aside, I pulled her into my arms. "I know you trust me, and I know you'll still worry. We can do this. If we can go out on our first mission past the walls and survive even with the Female Titan attacking us, I have a good feeling about tomorrow."

Tilting her head upwards, she asked, "Even if you have to disguise yourself as Eren?"

Groaning, I wasn't proud of my decision to partake in that part of the mission. "Trust me, that's the last thing I wanted to do. I'd rather be out there fighting and helping everyone else."

"Oh my, how you've changed since training."

Another kiss dropped to her head. "I'm aware. It's…been a crazy journey since Trost. Regardless, I'm glad of my decision. I'm glad I'm a part for something fighting to make a difference. What the hell was I thinking before?"

Crawling into my lap, I tightened my arms around her lithe, muscular frame. "You were a young boy who had never seen the terrors of a titan, with no knowledge what could happen. When Trost was suddenly upon us, it awakened something in you I think was already there; you just needed a visual to demonstrate the tragedy of the world we live in."

Blinking, I was perplexed by her answer. It was honest and true, but damn if she didn't speak in such a cute manner. "Why'd you have to say it so poetic-y?"

"Dunno, just how it came out." Glancing upwards, her lips fell. "Jean, promise me. No matter what happens tomorrow, you make sure to live and come back to me. That's an order, alright?"

"Oh, I'm being ordered now, is that it?"

"If it's regarding your safety, you better damn believe it."

"Then that's an order I'll gladly listen to. Nothing can take me away from you, even being disguised as fucking Jaeger."

Laughing into my neck, the woman was all giggles now. "I kinda wanna say you'll be cute and adorable, but…wouldn't I then be saying that about Eren as well?"

"Yeah…please don't." She laughed even more. "However, since we're on a similar topic, I'm not to keen on you being part of this, you know. How did you persuade Erwin or your brother to let you participate?"

"They asked me, to be honest."

Eyebrow quirked, I wasn't expecting to hear such an answer. "Really? They asked you?"

"Mhm. Levi said they really needed me to help tomorrow and that I was only allowed if I felt my injuries were alright." Patting her leg lightly, she did wince, to which I fully noted. "My leg is tender, I'm not gonna lie. But what else can I do? Wait here twiddling my thumbs for your return? I can't sit still knowing everyone is sacrificing their lives, you know that, Jean."

Sighing, I curled the woman tighter against my chest. This woman could be troublesome, as she'd proven more than enough times; mainly in Trost with her side. Speaking of… "Look, I can't say don't go, as you'd help regardless of my plea. Remember Trost and how you ignored your injury then? If I find out you did the same tomorrow, I'm gonna have Levi punish you."

"And what'll he do to his sister?"

"No idea, but if he doesn't do something, I will."

"Oh hoho, so you'll punish me then, is that correct?"

Craning my neck slightly, my words faltered. A coat of embarrassment covered my face, Emalina's only response was to laugh as I groaned. I knew - I knew she meant her words differently, and yet, I still interpreted them to mean something sexual. "Yes," I finally answered. "Whatever it takes for you to understand to not push yourself."

"Oh phooey." Removing herself from my lap, Emalina stood. Removing the t-shirt she wore to bed the previous night from my closet, she then tossed me my night clothes. "Seriously," her voice was slow. "I promise, and yet I can't say I will avoid a fight if needed. But what I can promise is that I'll be more conscientious if either injury starts bleeding again…?"

"That's the best I'm gonna get, isn't it?"

"I'm trying to compromise," she noted.

I had to admit, she was. "Alright," I heaved. "I'll compromise with that." Following suite, I stood as well, desiring nothing more than a comfortable night with Emalina in my arms. One last night of peace before hell broke loose. Would it, though? We couldn't say. "At least we have this night to ourselves," I whispered, not even realizing my words had been spoken aloud.

It was then my midsection was suddenly engulfed.

Expelling in any remaining in both lungs, my legs stumbled backwards, awkwardly holding Emalina against my chest as she had tightly wrapped herself around me. "E-Emalina? What the…?"

"We're alive," she mumbled into my chest. Head lifting as mine lowered to meet her gaze, she sniffled, a lonely tear escaping. "We're alive, that's why we can enjoy each other tonight. Somehow we survived the mission. I-I haven't had a spare moment to even think about this, but if I had l-lost you…!"

"But you didn't, I'm right here." I was quick with my sharp reply. Smoothing a hand over her hair, I tried my best to calm Emalina. Her sudden outburst was unexpected, though understandable. My poor kitten…she really hasn't had the time to process what happened two days ago. "Shh, shh…I'm right here," I repeated.

Sniffling again, she rubbed her head closer into my neck. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "This just…there's been so much happening these past few days, I haven't considered the fact we survived! And…and…"

"You don't have to think about it." Tilting her beautiful face upward, my thumb rubbed her cheeks. "Simply let what has happened be. You and I returned with minor injuries; but yes, we are alive. I have no plans to go anywhere, and I'm fairly certain you don't…do you?"

Her head was quick to shake side-to-side. "No," she repeated several times. "I'm not going anywhere, unless you plan to be there right by my side."

"Of course," I smiled. Kissing her hair, I was reminded of the discussion I had with Sasha and Connie yesterday. "Uhh, listen…is there something we can talk about real quick?" Nodding, she cleared her eyes, taking my hand she led us back to sit on the bed's edge. I thought the subject was silly to even bring it up. Seeing the image of her sitting with Reiner yesterday was enough for me to remember that it wasn't, especially if I was bothered by his actions that much.

"What's up?" She tightened her hand around mine.

"It's about yesterday, after you left the meeting; when I arrived with Connie and Sasha? Um…I was already there for a few minutes before they showed up and, well…"

"You were eavesdropping, weren't you."

"…I was."

Surprisingly, she didn't do anything I thought she would. No sigh, no scolding, and no frown. Instead, she was smiling. "Oh Jean, what am I gonna do with you? Alright, just…what about yesterday then?"

Sheepishly, I whisked my hair out of my eyes. "Look, I…" Lip bitten, it was time to be blunt. So, with a quick inhale, my next statement was swift. "I don't Reiner's attitude when he's around you."

"His…attitude? You mean how clingy he can be?"

"Look, I'm sorry! It's not my place to say, I just - hold up." Blinking, Emalina blinked back. "You just said he's clingy. You already know?"

"Know that he's been acting a little weird? Yeah, I've noticed."

"No, not just being weird. He likes you, Ema!"

"Pssh! He does not!"

That's…not the answer I was expecting. At least she's laughing?

"Come on. Surely you've seen the way he acts around you?"

"Of course I have, I'm not blind. But for him to like me? That's absurd. Besides, he knows I'm with you. What a second…" Scooting closer against me, Emalina gently held my face. "Jean, by chance are you…jealous?"

There was no point in hiding the obvious. "…yes."

Softly and tenderly, she kissed my jawline. "Whatever for sweetie? You know I don't see Reiner in such a way."

"I know you don't! It's just that…the things he does around you and how it acts…it just makes my blood boil."

"Oh, sweetie." Wrapping her arms around my neck, she held me close. "What did he do yesterday you were jealous of?"

"He…well, he rubbed your back when you were sad…and, pulled you to lay on his shoulder. Those are all things you're only supposed to do with me." The last part fell into a whisper.

Startled, Emalina managed to chuckle again. "Jean, you know friends can be supportive too, right?"

"I know, I know, it's just…he's been acting different ever since Trost. He's always complimenting you, always asking how or where you are…During the mission before you found us he kept asking how you were, calling you a badass and…I've noticed whenever you say my name around him, his face falls."

She didn't seemed surprised. Maybe she knew all if this, deciding maybe it was better to just ignore it all? "I'll be honest and say I've seen a difference, and if he does have a crush on me, I can't stop him, can I? I don't think he does, but he's allowed to feel what he feels. Right?" I nodded my head. "What if someone came up to you and said you couldn't feel anything towards me?"

"I'd…" Now I was taken back, her reversed logical statement enough to shut my lips tight. "I wouldn't be happy."

"See? It's ok to be jealous of him, just now that - "

"But what if he convinces you to leave me for him?"

The silence was deafening.

Slipping of the bed, Emalina dragged me along to my feet. Taking my hand, she placed it right over her breast, my face heating while watching as she placed her own over my heart. Beneath my fingers, beneath her flesh, I could feel the sensation of her heart, it's rhythmic thump, thump, thump soothing as it meant she was alive and here with me.

"This," she began, glancing down at my hands. "Only beats for you. It beats faster when you're near and hurts when you're gone. I've never felt this way about anyone before, Jean, and it took me a long time while in training to realize I was in love with you. Now, do you honestly think, after everything we've been through, everything we've promised, that I would suddenly decide to up and leave you for one of my friends?"

"W-Well…it's just…"

"No. No justs, and no buts. We feel the same for each other, do we not? I would never," she leaned upward on her toes, touching our noses together. "Never leave you, Jean. Not in a million years for a million different people, especially not someone you consider a close friend or me a brother." Taking hold of my hand, she tightened the limb upon her breast, my fingers digging into the softened flesh. "I've never loved anyone as much as you," she whispered.

"Emalina…" Leaning down to reach her forehead, I dropped a kiss.

"I need…" Blinking quickly, Emalina peered upward. Her adorable freckles donned pink as her cheeks down to her neck grew redder. Tightening my hand more, she lowered her eyes. "I've never wanted someone as much as I want you."

"E-Ema?" Though her statement was clear, confusion racked my brain. She couldn't possible mean what I wanted to assume, could she? "D-Do you mean…?"

"Listen. The day before we left for Karanes, we shared an evening together, and…and I said I wasn't ready to go further. Remember?"

I breathed. "Yeah, I remember."

"W-Well, I…after everything that's happened these last few days, we've claimed to have no regrets for whatever happens." Releasing my hand, she tightly gripped my shirt, leaning her forward into my chest. "Mmm, I can't say it!"

Releasing her breast, my arms wrapped around her, wanting the woman to be comfortable. "It's ok. It's all new to me too. If you're ready, I'm right here, but I'll never push you, kitten. You know that."

She growled. "Except you just had to use my nickname because you know what it does to me!"

"Heh, yeah couldn't resist with that one - ow!" She smacked me, and it was definitely worth the red coating her cheeks; but then she kissed me.

And boy, did she kiss me.

Angling her head upwards, Emalina thrust her lips upon mine, not waiting for me to open my mouth as her tongues slithered inside. More than happy to oblige, my hands moved to capture her cheeks, holding the beautiful woman as my desire to ravish her was bursting with possibilities. Then all too quickly, she stepped away.

"I want you," was all she said.

Breathless from just a mere kiss, I asked, "How? I need to hear you say it, kitten."

Kissing the tip of my nose, she breathed, "I want you to make love to me. Cherish me, and treat me special,"

"Don't I already do that?" I commented cheekily. Having bitten my jaw, Emalina smirked as a gasp left my lips. So she wanted to play?

"Ahh! Jean?!" Lifting her up by the legs, I curled her body into mine, carrying her over to the bed as I deposited her gently as I could. This would be my first time - our first time, and though I wanted to rush and just feel, I had to consider Emalina. She was the upmost important figure in my entire life.

Crawling over her lithe figure, I stared deeply into her blue eyes, the same ones who had watched me get my head beaten by Shadis over three years ago. "Emalina, as much as I've been waiting for this moment, I need you to tell me what it is you want. I will never do anything you don't want to do."

Smiling so sweetly, she said, "I want exactly this. Just us to love each other before hell breaks loose tomorrow, because we don't know what's gonna happen. No regrets…right?"

Beaming, I lowered my face towards hers. "No regrets." And sealed our night with a kiss.

The effect was immediate.

Electrifying, passion, tender, loving. Everything this one kiss could be it most certainly was. Arms tangled in my hair, Emalina sunk her lips against mine, my hands trailing up the length of her sides; today was a day I was thankful we had forgone our uniforms and dressed casually. Lingering at the base of her shirt, I wandered upward, lifting the mere fabric until it stretched to the base of her neck. Finagling the band of her bra, I, somehow, was able to release the strap as the pressure alleviated from her skin.

Pushing against me, Emalina lifted her shoulders from the mattress, hands spread upwards into the air. Taking her cue, I relieved her body of the shirt, throwing it across the room; her bra tumbled slightly off her shoulders so I tossed the damn thing as well. Admiring her beautiful skin, my lips attacked her neck, softly biting, nipping as I lingered only a few seconds. Moving south, a sucked in a puckered nipple into my mouth, enjoying the way Emalina's back curled against me. Her moans so utterly delightful as I twisted the other on my spare hand.

"Jean!" She cried, fingers twisting in my hair. I wanted this to last; it had to for being our first time. Yet with her moans entering my ears and the tent in my pants, I didn't think it was going to be possible. "Please Jean, I…I want more."

Gaze lifting, I noticed her eyes fluttered, struggling to watch as I still fingered her breast. Those blue orbs I loved so dearly were clouded with an emotion I'd been able to see several times, but this was to an extreme. "More? What would you like?"

Reaching downward, she latched onto my trousers, pulling at the button until it released from the pressure. "I want you," she spoke with an elongated moan.

Not one to make my woman wait, my shirt was removed, her hands shakily lowering my pants as they crawled past my hips. Standing, they fell to my ankles, as well as my underwear. Hurriedly, I twisted each foot from the legs, legs bracing myself against the bed as one decided to snatch my foot, causing me to fall into the mattress. Emalina giggled, sitting on her knees to see if I was alright as I tangled my leg out of the annoying material.

"You're just now falling for me?" she questioned. "I thought you did that years ago."

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," I pipped back. Finally free, I nudged Emalina back against the pillows, fingers hooking into the band son her own pants, slowly dragging them down as my eyes watched hers. Lip bitten between her teeth, Emalina was glowing; this was the woman I loved. Foregoing where the moment was headed or merely training out in the yard, she is the most beautiful woman ever around. No one could ever compare to what she has gifted me.

Moving down against the bed, her trousers gone were, as she lay in naught but her underwear. Kissing her ankle, I moved back up, lips forming softly against her skin. Giggles mixed with soft groans, echoed across the room as she sprawled her arms against the pillow behind her. Biting the inside of her thigh, she screeched lightly, voice deepening as I planted a kiss above the fabric of her panties where her delicious pearl would be.

"Jean."

"Not just yet, kitten," I said slowly, still making my way back to her lips. "That'll have to wait; I have plans for you." I should've ripped the last remaining material from her. Instead, fingers locked into the waistband, hastily running them down her thighs as we were both bare as the day we were born.

And what a lovely sight in was.

Four days ago was the first night we'd seen each other naked, and other than her bandages, Emalina's body had only grown more stunning. "You are…so incredibly beautiful, kitten." Kissing her lips, she moaned into my mouth, arms firmly around my neck as I maneuvered between her legs, careful regarding her thigh; thankfully she hadn't had any complaints, but that didn't make a difference.

Hand trailing down her stomach, I dropped a finger into her depths, fascinated at how wet she already was. "Damn babe…I haven't done anything wet and you're ready for me."

"It doesn't take much," she offered sheepishly, face coated in red. Eyebrow raised, I glanced curiously, wondering what she meant. "Lately, I'm always turned on around you."

"Oh, that's definitely good to know." Sucking her lip, we enveloped each other's mouth. Finger teasing her clit, Emalina squealed, waist moving around though it couldn't go far. Lingering my finger further south, I easily slipped it in. She tightened suddenly, gasping at the unexpected intrusion.

"What…?"

Moving between her cheek and jaw, I didn't stop kissing her. "I need to stretch you a bit. It'll hurt, but this'll help just a little. You trust me?"

"I trust you, Jean." Head falling backwards, she allowed herself to feel. I slowly pumped the digit in and out, only adding a second finger when she started meeting my hand halfway. Thumb entering, I simultaneously rubbed her clit, providing just enough pressure she was a moaning mess. "Yes…yes, please!"

And then she was wetter. Tightening even more for me, Emalina suddenly lurched forward, body shaking, her grunts of pleasure music to my ears. Helping in riding out her orgasm, I removed a finger, slowly pump for her to be used to such a sensation, my thumb still circling her clit. She knew it was enough as she brushed my hand to the side, falling into the bed, laying limp as she stared through long lashes.

"Fucking shit…" she mumbled. "Can…" She was still struggling to gain a breath. "Can you get even better at that after only a few days?"

"No idea, but I'll certainly take the compliment." Amazement donned over me as I glanced over my hand. Glistening and coated in her juices, I slipped a finger into my mouth.

"Gah! What're you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sucking her juices off my finger, I was already hooked. "Damn, you taste good babe."

"No!" Cowering behind her palms, Emalina shook her head. "Why would you do such an embarrassing thing like that?"

Leaning against her chest, I pried her defenses away; she still had her eyes closed. "Emalina, look at me." Several seconds past before she pried each eye open. "I wanted to taste you, and I love it."

"W-Why?"

"Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like for me to go down on you down there?"

"You…you'd want to do such a thing?!" Her bewilderment was fucking adorable, and I could do nothing more than to smile and heartily laugh. Eyes narrowing up at me, she frowned. "…why're you laughing at me?"

"No, no I'm not laughing at you, kitten, you are just so adorable!" Kissing the tip of her nose, I moved to lock her arms around my neck. "There are a lot more things I want to try with you Ema, but only if you want to. Remember, I won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"But if it's something you want to do…"

"But if it's something you don't want to do, I won't do it. Except, right now, I think you said you wanted more of me, correct?" Lips slowly turning upward, I received a nod in return. "Now that I can do." Grasping the outside of her calves, I dragged her down the length of the bed, my sprung cock ever waiting to sink itself into her moist depths. "Are…are you ready? This will probably hurt."

"It's…supposed to, isn't it?"

"I think? How should I know I'm not a female - ow! Really? You slap me now?" She nodded happily. With a roll of my eyes, I leaned forward to kiss her, my tip barely touching the outside of her wetness. "Um, b-before…I have to ask. When I finish, where…where would you like…?"

Catching on, she smiled. "Honestly? I'm ok with anywhere; on me, in me, I'd love it either way."

"I-In…you?" Blinking, I hoped Emalina knew what they implied. "A-Are you sure? I mean, come on, we both know…"

"I know," her words were gentle. Cupping a cheek, her thumb traced along my cheekbone. "That's how much I love you, Jean. I-If you were, I'm ready to start a family with you. But I know…that's not a feasible wish right now…"

My lips landed on her forehead. "Probably not," my voice was saddened. This woman was extraordinary, and I don't think I'd ever be able to fully tell her what she meant to me. "So for now…we play safe?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

And with that, only hand grasping her waist, the other her cheek, I slowly moved my way in. Emalina gasped, head falling backwards. Her eyes squinted shut, and nothing pained me more than to see her squirm. Mumbling soft words of encouragement, I thrusted once, lulling myself all the way in, only for my kitten to scream. Shifting her weight forward, she clamped onto my body, teeth sinking into my neck for comfort.

And holy fuck did it hurt!

But I had no reason to complain, for I would never knew what she just experienced!

"P-Please, don't move just yet." Her expression said it all.

"Of course kitten, you tell me when you're ready." Whisking away strands of hair fallen over her face, she slowly lowered herself back against he mattress. Her face, which had contorted in pain, slowly grew calm. Her eyes stopped wincing, slowly blinking open as she nodded her head. It had only been a minute, was she really ready?

"Ok…I think you can move."

"Are you sure?" She only nodded, so I complied.

And holy crap, this was happening!

I was slow at first, as this was utterly new to us both; I wasn't sure how hard I could thrust, and didn't know what Emalina preferred. Her response was to wince, soon replaced by a moan, which was then superseded by a hearty groan. Feeding off her responses, both hands grasped her waist, using the leverage to lightly pound her core.

It was incredible. Her heat, her wetness, her sounds!

"Jean…"

She soon mumbled my name, and I nearly lost it there. My name left her lips again and I had to real myself back slightly, for it would be over far shorter than she deserved. But who wouldn't be able to finish so quickly with a woman like Emalina? Surely she was a granddaughter to the goddesses! Connected in such a way was invigorating, and as sweat gradually sprinkled down my cheeks, surely I was -

"Holy shit!" Emalina cried out. "Right there, r-right there!"

"Yes ma'am!" Whatever I had done, whatever angle I had hit, I worked to pierce it again. We found ourselves growing louder. Arms having dropped from her waist to the bed, I held her cheeks, lips meeting frantically as she clawed into my back. "Emalina!" Her legs tightened around me, pulling me in further as I discovered she liked my thrusts slightly harder.

Grunting, I knew this was it. The tightening in my balls, the warmness creeping up from my abdomen - I wouldn't last long.

Knowing I should slow my pace while only going faster, I was caught in a predicament. "E-Ema, I'm not gonna last much longer…!"

"It's o-ok!" She gasped, clinging to me even more.

"No! You…you haven't yet…?"

Her kiss upon my cheek was sloppily, and I couldn't have loved it more. "I don't…need to," she admitted. "Please…baby, I just need to know you feel good!"

"Feel good?! Ohhhh kitten, you have no idea!" Capturing her lips one last time, it took all my might to remove myself from her heat. Grasping my slick cock, I leered over her abdomen, hastily stroking myself as my orgasm burst inside me. Roaring, I pumped myself until there was nothing left. The white, sticky substance piling in a pool of clear liquid against her stomach. Flopping against the bed, I fell beside Emalina, who curled her body into mine. Breathlessly calling her name, I muttered, "I'm sorry."

Fingers trailing up and down my side, she kissed my nose, curling closer into me. "What for?" She was just as breathless as I was. I did that, I couldn't refrain myself from thinking smugly.

"For not…well…I mean, I finished, but you…you didn't, did you?"

"Is that what this is about?" Rolling her eyes, Emalina gripped my hand, squeezing it so tightly I winced. "You dummy," she articulated the latter word. "I didn't need to finish. You already pleasured me before."

Exasperated, I gulped down my air, trying to calm myself. "But, but your supposed to feel good as well!" She flicked my forehead.

"I do feel good, you dummy! Sometimes woman don't orgasm during sex…or, so I've heard," she mumbled. Shaking her head, she pulled my face close by gripping my chin. "Listen to me. This was utterly amazing, and I'm so glad we waited. What we shared tonight was special, it didn't have to be perfect, or fancy, it just - ummm…" Pointing her finger at my neck, she grimaced. "W-What the hell? Did I do that?"

"Did what?" Following her line of sight, I couldn't see what she was referring to. Tracing fingers up my neck, I winced. There were teeth marks right where she had bit me when we started. "Oh this? Yeah, you bit me."

"I BIT you?! When the hell did I do that?!"

"Hey, hey…relax." Rubbing a cheek, her suddenly accelerated breathing slowly faded away to calm intakes. "You bit when when I pushed in the first time."

"I…? Oh. Ohhhh…" Recalling the moment nearly fifteen minutes earlier, Emalina's face instantly burned red. Such an adorable face, who could mad at her?

"It's an injury I'll bare proudly." Kissing her lips, I pulled the woman towards me. Releasing an elongated groan, I apparently forgot the now cold, sticky mess on her stomach.

"Forgot that was there, didn't you?"

Head hanging low, I stood from the bed. "Shut up," I grumbled, dropping her another kiss. I swear, this woman was indisputably an amazing woman to kiss. Why would I ever stop? Untangling our limbs, I sadly crawled from the bed, heading into the bathroom on shady legs. Returning with a warm, damp cloth, I slowly cleaned my mess, carefully sponging her stomach until it was all clear. Lips meeting the junction of skin right above her navel earned me a squeal in return. Smirking, I tossed the rag towards the bathroom, missing completely but didn't care. Dragging the blanket up ours bodies as I reentered the bed, I held Emalina in my arms.

"No regrets, right, Jean?"

In the falling darkness of our room, I could gently make out her furrowed brows. Smoothing them as I trailed down to her lips, I chose my words carefully. Pressure unlike what we knew for the reconnaissance mission had been placed on our shoulders as tomorrow could slaughter the Scouts. "No regrets," I mimicked.

"Good, good," she breathed, nuzzling my neck. "Because I have no regrets tonight. And…I'm not sleepy yet."

My eyebrows shot straight into my hairline at that. "Ah, is that so?" She nodded, her smirk growing as I crawled over her once more, the sheet trailing down my back to land at my waist. "Then I better get to work. My girl definitely needs her rest for tomorrow."

~ oOo ~

I have some very important information regarding this story. Please read the next chapter for a full disclosure as it is a lot!

Chocobocolina :)