Happy (belated) New Year! I generally don't believe in making resolutions but I'm going to try my damnedest to update my stories more regularly. Hopefully real life cooperates.

Don't hate me for where I ended the chapter. This would've been out days ago if I didn't keep attempting to rewrite and second guess. As always, I got with what feels right in the moment.

Thanks so much for all the comments, as always. And it's great to hear from new readers as well. I tend to worry once a story gets past a certain length people get turned off. Let's face it, I don't write quick reads, lol. Anyway, thanks again. :-)

"So why can't I use your car while you're in New York? You and Rachel are taking the train up there. It's not like you're going to need it."

"The last time I lent you my car you hit a pothole the size of Alaska and wrecked the suspension."

"I got it fixed. Uncle Mike even gave you the family discount."

"Yeah, when are you paying me back for that, by the way?" Normally Jack didn't hold Shawn responsible for money owed. Maybe it was because he grew up privileged while his brother was in the trailer park, but he never expected to be paid back any money loaned out. But this was different. Shawn did serious damage to his car. "Family discount or not, fixing a suspension isn't cheap."

"Is it all about money to you? That's typical. I said I'll pay you back and I will. In fact…" Shawn dug into his pockets and took out any cash and spare change he had and dumped it onto the counter. "Let's see…$19.38 and half a pack of Jolly Ranchers. How far will that get me in your world?"

"Are you seriously throwing a fit because I won't-" Anything else Jack was about to say was cut off when the door opened and Eric walked in. He had a backpack over his shoulder and a duffel bag in hand. "Hey. What's with the luggage?"

"Angela's staying here this weekend. I know wakes and funerals aren't happy, fun things, but this was a disaster."

"Right, her grandmother's service was today. How did it go?"

"Didn't you hear me, Jackie? Disaster. Disasters are bad."

"What does that mean?"

Eric loosened his tie with his free hand and headed for the stairs. "It's Angela's business to share, not mine. I'm going to go check on her…make sure she's all right. You guys haven't seen or heard her, have you?"

"No, man, I didn't even know she was here."

"All right."

"What do you think that's about," he questioned Shawn once Eric was gone.

"I don't know." It had to be big for Eric to be acting as serious as he was. If he had to make a guess, he'd say something happened that was related to her mother. Shawn ran his hands through his hair. "Look, about the car-"

"It's fine. Borrow it. Whatever. We'll work out a payment plan for your previous damage."

He slid the candy across the counter. "Do you accept Jolly Ranchers?"

/

"Angela?" Eric knocked once before he opened the door. "Are you…" He nearly tripped over her heels as he walked further into the room. "…what are you doing?" Instead of curled up and crying, like he expected to find, she was sitting in the middle of his bed and wearing his pajamas. "You're watching TV…bad TV."

"Is that a crime?"

"No, but…Jerry Springer? Seriously?"

"There's nothing like watching exes argue over her not wanting to give him back his prosthetic leg to make you feel better about your life."

"I don't even know…wait a minute, there are enough couples to make a whole episode?"

"All I can say is that there are at least three couples like that out there."

"Okay, my new goal in life is making sure we don't become dysfunctional enough for this show." He stared at the screen for several seconds before it became too much. "I got the stuff from your dorm: your books and notes to study and enough clothes for the weekend."

She hadn't mentioned staying here with him, but the thought of going back to the dorms held no appeal. As long as she stayed in this room nothing bad could happen to her. "Thank you."

"No problem. I scared the hell out of Topanga when she came back from class and found me in the room looking for your stuff."

"What did you tell her?" She shut off the television and shifted around to face him.

"Nothing. I just said you were staying with me and needed your stuff. She's not stupid and guessed that something was wrong, but I didn't say anything."

Angela nodded. That explained the two phone calls from her friend that she let go unanswered.

"She asked me how you were but that was hard to answer because even I don't know. You haven't much of anything since we left the funeral home." He dropped her bags onto a chair and took a seat on the bed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine," he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice. "You're sure?"

"Yeah, you know I've been thinking about it and I've decided to just be okay with this and live my life."

"How the hell does that work?"

"It's like when you first found out about my past and my mother or when you learned that Shawn got drunk and pushed me."

He unconsciously clenched his fists when she mentioned the latter situation. He still hasn't forgiven Shawn for it and it took quite the effort to remain civil. But he did so for Angela's sake. "How?"

"You wanted to do something but I said no, the situations weren't new, they were new to you. That's what my mother's life is. Her marriage and her chil…and her children obviously aren't new. They're just new to me."

"Yeah, but it's a little bit different than me finding out that-"

"No," she interrupted. "It's not different. I'm not going to obsess over something I can't change and has nothing to do with me."

"Angela, it's your mother. Not some random woman. She has a lot to do with you. And you have a little brother and sister out there that you didn't-"

"Will you shut the hell up?! You think I don't know who they are?" She got out of bed and moved to the window. Even from three floors up she could see people going about their daily lives. Did they know what it was like to have the entire world turned upside down on them? "That boy has my eyes. The shape, the color…those are my eyes…my mother's eyes. And-and the little girl…that's me. Right down to my ladybug sweater that she stole. That's me. That's me all over." She wiped furiously at her tears, not wanting to waste a single moment crying over these strangers. "I know exactly who they are. I don't want to talk about or focus on them. It's pointless. It's not as if anything will change."

Eric wasn't sure it was a healthy way of handling things, but he had by now learned if he pressured her to talk about something she wasn't ready to deal with she'd likely shut him out completely. Talking wouldn't happen until she was ready. "I'm trying to fix something that can't be fixed," he realized. "I'm sorry."

Angela walked back to the bed, her arms wrapped around herself. "What have I told you about apologizing for things that aren't your fault?"

"Still…you don't deserve this." He pulled her into his lap. "I'd make it all go away if I could. I would risk your wrath and fix it."

"And I'd let you play hero." She relaxed against him, accepting his embrace. "Do you think this is the important thing Nan wanted to tell me," she asked in a small voice. In the midst of all the chaos she'd almost forgotten the reason she was at the funeral home today. Instead of letting him answer, she continued to speak. "Is it wrong that I'm mad at her? I mean she…Nan's…she's gone. She can't explain or defend herself. It feels wrong to be mad, but I am."

"I don't think there's a wrong way to feel in this situation."

She shook her head. "I can't deal with any of this right now. It hurts too much."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to do anything. I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I pretty much don't want to leave this room. If that's okay with you," she added, remembering that it was, after all, his room.

"You don't even have to ask. Hide out as long as you want."

"Thank you."

"Should I go?"

"What? Why?"

"You don't want to see or talk to any-"

"You are the exception to the rule. You're not just anyone."

"Thanks. Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

"No, no food. I might try to take a nap. I haven't slept much the last few days."

"That's because you've been staying in the dorms instead of here," he teased. "You can't sleep without me."

"You're joking, but that's probably the truth. I do sleep better when I'm with you." She shifted in his arms so she could see him. "And you don't have to say the same is true for you, too. You can sleep anywhere. I've witnessed it and never fail to be amazed by- and a little envious of- your sleeping skills."

"Okay, but I really like falling asleep and waking up with you."

Angela smiled before leaning forward for a kiss. "Me, too."

"Good."

"Speaking of that…would you…could you…never mind," she said.

"What is it?"

"Forget it. It's stupid."

"What?"

"I like to think that I'm strong and independent, but-"

"You are. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met."

He spoke with such conviction Angela almost bought it. However, she didn't feel very strong right now. "I've never been very good at needing someone. I don't like it. I've always tried to tough it out by myself." She found it difficult to look at him and instead focused on their hands, which were intertwined and resting on her lap. "I didn't have a choice. I didn't have people around to lean on." It was a painful truth to admit. Other people were unreliable. They failed to be there no matter what they promised. If she didn't take care of herself no one would. Even on his best days her father was often a long distance dad due to his military career. Having a heart to heart over the phone didn't compare to the times he was around. And so she was left alone to cope and handle things.

"I'm sorry about that. I want to-I mean…I'm not going anywhere. You can need me."

Angela wanted so badly to believe him. She did about 99% of the time. But others have promised to be there only to bail and drop her when the chips were down. Were things really different this time around? They had been so far, but would it last? Could she make that leap of faith? She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Would you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Yes." He wanted to say more, to reassure her in some way, but didn't know how. Maybe this was one of those situations where actions spoke louder than words. He heard that phrase countless times from his parents, Feeny, and other teachers. Telling her he was going to be there was pointless. It was clear she'd heard that line before. He had to prove it. "Just let me change out of this suit and I'm all yours'."

She got out of his lap and closed the blinds. "I stole your pajamas. I had to get out of the funeral clothes."

"That's okay. I like it when you wear my stuff."

"I like wearing your things, too. It's comforting."

"And here I was going to say it's hot." Eric was relieved to get a laugh out of her, even a small one. "Do you want me to read to you?"

"Gee, I'm amazed you're not offering to sing," she teased as she settled under the blanket.

"You want songs? I've got songs."

"Thanks, but I'm not in the mood to listen to you belt out Metallica or Foo Fighters." She could already see him believing Enter Sandman was the perfect tune to soothe her with the rationale that it referenced going to sleep.

"Excuse me, missy, but these are original songs."

"Really?"

"Between high school and college I was bored. My friends were all away at school. I didn't have a job…nothing. It was depressing. I spent a lot of time in my robe sitting in front of the TV with a huge bowl of Cocoa Puffs. And that's when it hit me. All of those detective and spy reruns they show during the day had crimes solved by guys who were fat, old, or in wrinkly rain coats. Sometimes the guy would be all three of those. And that's when it hit me."

She snuggled into his chest and peered up at him. "What hit you?"

"What the world needed was Eric Matthews: Good Looking Detective. I had the whole show idea in my head. I could see it so clearly."

"How many episodes of this show do you have mapped out?"

"About three seasons worth," he figured. "I even planned a clip show."

"For when you get hurt on the job and are in a coma and you dream of all your past missions?" She smiled at the way his eyes lit up. "Please, like I don't know you well enough by now?"

Eric loved being with someone who got him. Most people didn't get him. "But the best part, at least to me, is the kick-ass theme song I invented to go with it."

"I'm guessing the theme song is about to be my lullaby?"

"Absolutely. You may want to take a minute to prepare yourself for my greatness. Ready," he asked a few seconds later.

"Let me have it."

He took a deep breath. "When a crime breaks out all the cute girls shout-"

/

Eric hadn't planned on falling asleep, but one minute he was recounting various episode ideas for Angela and the next there was this annoying tapping sound. It was barely loud enough for him to hear. A few seconds later the tapping became a knock. It was followed by a whisper. He glanced down at Angela and was relieved she was still asleep. However, that wouldn't last if the knocking continued. Slowly, he untangled himself from her embrace and went to the door. There he found Jack in the hall, phone in hand. "What," he asked, stepping out of the room. "It's not a good time."

"Angela's dad is on the phone."

He stood a little straighter at the mere mention of her father. "How did he get our number?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't know, Topanga maybe? He sounds scary so I didn't quiz him. But he said he's been trying to call Angela for hours and she's not answering."

"Okay, thanks. I'll talk to him." He took the phone and stared at Jack when he didn't immediately leave. "Bye."

"What's going on? It has to be bad if her dad is calling you."

"Later, okay?" Eric shoved him down the hall before putting the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Is Angela all right? Lois called me and told me she saw her mother. How is she? Why isn't she answering her phone?"

"She's…all right might be a stretch but she's…hell, how do you think she's doing?"

"If I know my daughter at all I'd say she's bottling it all up inside and not saying a word."

"No, she's saying a few words, not many though."

"I want to talk to her. Put her on the phone."

"You can't right now."

"Excuse me?"

Eric shrunk back a little, almost able to picture the look on Sgt. Moore's face. "Angela's asleep. She hasn't been sleeping very well and I don't want to wake her up." Did he really just tell his girlfriend's military father that said girlfriend was sleeping in his bed and that he knew her recent sleep habits? That wasn't going to help. He may as well have sent the man a bullseye with his picture on it.

"Oh. She does need her rest. You're right. Let her sleep. Tell her to call me when she can. Today, tomorrow, I don't care if it's three in the morning. Please."

"I will." This was too easy. There had to be a catch.

"How was she when she saw Camille?"

"How do you think?"

"Right."

"Although I think it was meeting her little brother and sister that really put her over the edge."

Alvin frowned. He knew about the boy, but he was unaware his ex-wife had another daughter. Lois hadn't mentioned anything about children when she called. The only reason he even knew about Camille's son was because they'd been in the midst of laborious, long-distance divorce proceedings when her lawyer called his lawyer to inform him of her pregnancy. If they'd still been married when the child was born Alvin's name would've automatically gone onto the birth certificate and he would've been obligated to support him financially. It didn't matter that he wasn't the biological father. The way the law was set up he still would've had to pay. The baby arrived less than a month after their divorce was finalized. It never occurred to him to tell Angela about her mother's new child. Why cause her that pain? "Just do one thing for me."

Here was the catch, he was sure of it. "What's that?"

"Take care of my daughter."

That wasn't what Eric had been expecting. "I will, sir. You don't have to worry about that. I swear."

"Thank you."

He stared at the phone in his hand. The entire call felt so surreal he wasn't sure it had actually happened. He popped his head back into his room and saw that Angela was still asleep. She hadn't moved a muscle. Not wanting to wake her, he decided to go out to the living room. Maybe he'd get some studying out of the way. It wouldn't hurt to be a little extra prepared.

/

"I was thinking that Saturday night we could sneak away from my family and I could take you to one of the famed New York restaurants," Jack suggested. It was obvious Rachel still wasn't happy with him springing this trip on her, but he was determined to fix it. "What do you think? We could go to Gray's Papaya if you want some killer hot dogs or if you want something fancier I'll take you to Keen's Steakhouse. My stepdad knows someone so getting a reservation wouldn't be an issue."

"Rach, you make sure he pays. Go big, Tavern on the Green big. Angela and I walked past it on our first date as part of our Ghostbusters theme, but we couldn't afford to go in."

"Maybe." She glanced up from her books when Eric came into the room. "How's Angela?"

"She's sleeping, which is good. She hasn't slept much since she found out about her Nan."

"So what happened? Why all the secrecy? What was so bad that Angela wants to hide out here? I don't have a problem with it, but it's weird. What's up?"

Eric sighed. He hadn't said anything earlier because Shawn was here and he didn't want it getting back to Cory and Topanga until Angela was ready to talk to them. But as much as he could usually trust Jack and Rachel to be discreet, this wasn't his story to tell. "If she wants people to know, you'll find out then."

Angela stood in the hallway, just outside the common area of the apartment. She did eavesdrop for a few moments, curious to see what Eric's explanation would be. It was a relief to reaffirm she could trust him. She wasn't ready to discuss it yet. It would only get her pity and the 'Poor Angela' faces she hated so much. "Hey," she said, finally making her presence known. She immediately joined Eric on the couch. "Guess I actually slept for a few hours, huh?"

"We both did. I thought you'd be out longer."

"Strange dreams," was her only explanation. It wasn't a lie, but she didn't want to admit that the main reason she woke up was because Eric was no longer in bed with her, at least not in front of his roommates. "I might take you up on your offer for food though."

"I'll order a pizza. Pepperoni, right?"

"And green peppers."

"Right, you're a weirdo who likes to add vegetables to perfectly good pizza," he teased and nudged her side with his elbow.

"It balances out the pepperoni."

"Whatever you say."

"Watch it or else I'll trade in the green peppers for mushrooms."

Eric made a gagging noise. "Okay, green peppers for the win." He glanced across the room. For a moment he forgot they weren't alone. "You guys want anything? My treat."

"No thanks. We ate already." Jack couldn't help but watch the couple occupying the red couch. It was hard to look away. They seemed to be in sync and completely focused on the other when together. Did he and Rachel ever give off that vibe of intimacy?

"We've actually got to get going," Rachel said. "We're going to be late." She gathered her books and placed them into her backpack.

"Where are you guys going? Fun date," Eric hoped. Things between his roommates had been tense lately.

"I have study group for linear algebra. It's the only way I'm going to pass this class. We're supposed to meet at the campus library in twenty minutes."

"And I'm filling in for April doing inventory at the coffee house."

"Right. I forgot that was tonight. Have fun."

"Are they okay," Angela asked a few minutes later when it was just the two of them again.

"Pizza will be here in about twenty minutes," he said as he sat back down on the couch. "Rachel's still upset about New York. I don't know what her problem is. Who wouldn't love an expense paid weekend to one of the most famous cities in the world?"

"He didn't ask her first. Plus she has to spend the weekend with his family that she doesn't know. That's a lot of pressure on her."

"But how is that any different than me planning our first date and keeping it a surprise for you? Or the road trip to see your dad? I didn't talk to you about any of that ahead of time."

"You didn't spring our first date on me out of the blue. I may not have known where we were going, but I knew we were doing something. We had established that much. As for taking me to see my dad…it's a different situation."

Eric was skeptical. "He wanted to do a nice thing. He knew Rachel was bummed about not being able to see her mom. He thought spending the weekend with his family would be a fun distraction."

"He dropped this huge relationship milestone on her head that clearly she didn't feel ready for. And he wasn't even the one to tell her. She heard it from his mother."

"All right, yes, that makes it awkward but I still think he was trying to do something nice."

"His heart may have been in the right place but he didn't think it through."

"Does that mean surprises are bad? I can't surprise you anymore? I have to hint around to make sure you'd be okay with whatever I wanted to do?"

"I love your surprises. You know that."

"I'm having trouble seeing the difference between my surprises and what Jack did."

"I think it comes down to knowing your partner and what they're comfortable with."

"The whole communication thing?"

"Basically," she said, reaching for his hand. "That's why it's so important that we keep talking. I want us to be comfortable enough to talk about anything. I haven't always been so good at the talking thing. I'm still not great at it."

"What do you mean? We talk all the time about everything."

"I know, but that's because I'm working hard at it. Talking about feelings and emotions is not something that comes easy for me. But I think we have something special here-"

"So do I."

"-and I don't want to screw it up because of a communication failure."

"It's okay to not be good at talking. I'm great at talking. I even do it in my sleep so it's impossible to shut me up."

"One person doing the talking is just as bad as no one talking."

"You've got writing. You're great at that."

"Thank you, but what does that have to do with this?"

"Writing is communicating, right? If there's something you don't know how to say you can always write it down. I'll read it. I'll even write back if you want."

"Wow."

"What?"

"You're batting a thousand at knowing what to say."

"I'd like to think it will last, but we both know you should enjoy it while you can."

"I hate it when you're so self-deprecating." She wrapped her arms around his midsection and laid her head on his chest. "Give yourself more credit."

"Bad habits die hard." He ran his hands along her back. "Are you falling asleep," he said, feeling her relax under his touch. "We can always reheat the pizza."

"I'm not sleeping. I'm thinking."

"About what?"

"Today was one of the worst days of my life but you've made it bearable. I wouldn't have been able to handle it without you, you know?" She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to be."

"You don't have to thank me. It's just like we say: it's the best part of us, knowing someone's there. Otherwise what's the point?"

She found herself at a loss for words. It was a lot to take in. Instead of trying to find the right thing to say she simply held him tighter.

/

Angela awoke with a start. She sat up and almost immediately recognized she was at Eric's. She felt more at home here than in her dorm lately. After taking a few sips from a water bottle she'd left on the nightstand, she got up and paced, trying to erase the dream from her mind. She was in a room full of people she knew. Only no one seemed to recognize her, the most disturbing one being her father. Unlike everyone else who denied knowing her, he looked right through her. It didn't matter how much she begged and pleaded with him to see her. He didn't. It was as if she didn't exist to him.

She supposed she could blame their conversation this evening. After they ate Eric told her about her dad's call. It seemed like he was hiding something, though she couldn't put her finger on what it was. After the day from hell with her mother the thought that her dad might be keeping a secret was almost too scary to think about.

The only thing that kept it from being a true nightmare was the parrot. Angela wasn't sure what to make of it, but whenever the bird opened his mouth Mr. Feeny's voice came out.

She was on her way back from the bathroom when Eric called out to her. "I'm fine. Go back to sleep." He said something else, but she couldn't make it out. "What?" When he didn't respond she walked to the bed and realized that Eric wasn't talking to her, not really. He was talking in his sleep. That wasn't uncommon. He did it at least a few times a week. Heck, sometimes she'd talk back just to see where the conversation would go. A few weeks ago she heard snippets of how he surfed in a volcano. He, of course, remembered none of this in the morning. She sat on the bed and waited for him to say something else. A few seconds later he said her name again.

'Was it a good dream,' she wondered. Judging by the faint smile on his face and a few other mumbles and noises he was making, she'd say so. Angela laid next him and he seemed to sense her immediately. He turned to face her before he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She grinned to herself. 'Yes, it was a very good dream.'

She was torn between letting him sleep and needing the security of his presence. Here he was dreaming about her while she'd had a nightmare where no one knew her. Angela pondered the significance of that. Surely it meant something, right? It had to.

"Hi."

His whispered greeting startled her. "Hi."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar," he said, running a hand along her cheek.

"Just a bad dream, that's all."

"Was I there?"

"No, actually. You weren't."

"That's why it sucked, huh?"

"That must be it. But I'm okay now. I'm going to try to go back to sleep."

"Good. Sleep is good. You don't gotta be scared because I'm here. I'm like gum on the bottom of your shoe: stuck forever."

She did her best not to laugh. Was he trying to make her smile by saying something silly or was he still half asleep? It was difficult to tell. "I like the sound of that."

"Goodnight kiss? So this way you'll dream of me."

"Sounds good." The kiss was slow at first, chaste even, but it wasn't long before he drew her closer to deepen it. Angela sighed as he boldly ran his hands along her body. They've never been shy with each other, but with his guard down he was even more confident than normal. It was a huge turn-on.

It was her cold hands along his ribcage that alerted Eric to the fact that he wasn't having the most vivid, amazing dream ever. This was real. Angela was in his bed. He was holding her, kissing her, and neither of them seemed in a hurry to stop. He realized she was pressed right against him and tried to shift away. "Sorry. I should go take care of-" He was surprised when she swung a leg across his hips and straddled his lap. "Um…"

"What were you dreaming about?"

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Angela, I really don't want to-"

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing."

She tried not to squirm as he moved beneath her. "Do you remember who you're talking to? We own embarrassing. We embrace it. I already know you were dreaming about me because you were saying my name."

"I was?"

"Over and over," she said with a smile. "So spill."

Eric momentarily covered his eyes. "Okay. It was about us. We were…we were…doing stuff."

"Sex stuff?

"Getting there, yeah."

"That's not so embarrassing."

"We were on the pool table in the Student Union."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Was it hot," she pondered, unable to help herself.

"Duh, it's us." Her body shook with laughter and caused him to inhale sharply. 'Cold shower,' his mind screamed. "Of course it was hot."

"Then what?"

"Then-then this. You. Us. Here. Now."

"Sorry I woke you up?"

"Never." It had become difficult to think. Angela was a very tactile person and if she wasn't peppering kisses to his face and neck she touched wherever she could reach: his arms, his chest, and running her fingers through his hair. It was almost sensory overload. "We have to slow down."

"What if we didn't?"

His eyes popped open at her statement. "What?"

"What if we didn't slow down? What then?"

"Then we'd be-we'd…"

Angela nodded. "Right."

He was sure he'd kick himself later for what he was about to say, but he had to know. "Are you sure? You had a long day, a bad day, and-"

"This isn't about what happened today or me being vulnerable. It's about you and me in the here and now." Yes, today had been a bad day for her, but it also was important for them as a couple. He'd shown yet again that he would be there for her, baggage and all. It didn't scare him. He didn't run away. If anything it seemed he was more committed.

Eric took her hands and held them against his chest. "I just don't want you to regret anything tomorrow."

"Impossible," she whispered. She leaned down and pressed her mouth against his. "I know what I want." She twisted her body to the side and reached for his nightstand, fumbling for the drawer. It wasn't long before she found the box of condoms that was stashed inside. "You."