When dinner was over, and with an hour to go till the meeting, Harry was hurrying back up to the Gryffindor Tower so he could fetch his Marauder's Map when he ran into Zacharius Smith.
At first he simply stared at the other boy, trying to decide whether or not to tell him to shove off and get out of his way, but when Zach spoke, his expression was one of repentance.
"I just wanted you to know that I had nothing to do with Malfoy's antics at the practice drill," he began. Harry squinted at him suspiciously, deciding to see where this went, though he had a pretty good idea. "I didn't know he was trying to get you kicked off the team, and I didn't put that Silencer on Granger. I swear it." Zach looked as if the very act of apologizing caused him physical pain, but he kept at it, telling Harry that he was sorry for what happened and that he still wanted to be a part of the secret defense group. "That Cho girl told me you guys were meeting tonight. I can come…can't I?"
Harry felt a pang of annoyance at Cho but then reasoned that she didn't know any better—she probably didn't have all the details about what happened at the practice. "Er—sure…" he said quietly, despite his still-lingering feelings of resentment towards the Hufflepuff. "It's in an hour. Find Cho and she'll take you to where it'll be held."
Harry turned and walked past Zach, ignoring the boy's muttered "Thanks…"
At half-past seven Harry, Ron, and Hermione left the common room and made their way up to the seventh floor. Harry kept checking the map for signs of teachers but all looked safe: Dumbledore was in his office, Umbridge in hers, and Filch was four floors below them with Mrs. Norris at his side. They found the bit of hall where the image of Barnabas and the trolls presided. Ron made a face at the sight of the poor foolish wizard being clubbed relentlessly by three monstrous things in tutus. "Poor old git," he muttered. "He had that one coming."
Harry stopped them just where he had stood the year before watching Angelina and the twins make fools of themselves. He took a deep breath and tucked his map back into the folds of his robes.
"Okay…Sirius said to walk past this wall three times…"
They set to pacing, the three of them concentrating hard on what they needed. Harry focused his mind singularly on having a place to practice defensive magic; a place no one could find; a place big enough for all of them…
"Harry!" Hermione drew in her breath sharply and grabbed his arm, pointing with her other hand at the door that had just appeared out of nowhere. "Is that…?"
Harry grinned and stepped forward, reaching out to grasp the handle of the door. He pulled it open and the three of them hurried inside. Needless to say, the first thing Hermione spotted when they emerged into the large, fully-stocked room was the shelves full of books. She went straight for them, making delighted noises as she skimmed through the titles of all the books, almost every one of them dedicated to the practice of Defensive Magic. There were a few, Hermione noted to them aloud, that concerned Dark Magic as well, but she sternly observed that perhaps they shouldn't tamper with those. Ron and Harry looked around at the place while Hermione settled down with a copy of Jinxes for the Jinxed. Harry was quite pleased with all the stuff. There was an assortment of Dark Detectors and a familiar-looking Foe-Glass, and lots of soft cushions that Ron noted would be perfect for practicing Stunning spells. The simple magic of a table, four chairs, and some shot glasses paled in comparison to the form the room had taken on for them tonight.
Soon people started arriving. Ginny, Lavender, Dean, Neville, and Michael Corner arrived first, followed shortly after that by Angelina and the twins. Harry and Angelina said hello to each other very quietly and a little too affectionately, Fred observed, much to Harry's embarrassment. Luckily Fred took mind of the other people in the room and only noted this where the three of them could hear, giving Harry a wink as a proud father would his romancing son.
Cho Chang, her friend Marietta, and Zach Smith arrived before Harry could retort to Fred's jibe, causing Ron to sit up straight and stare at them as they emerged. "What's he doing in here?" the youngest Weasley boy said sharply.
"It's okay, he explained himself," Harry offered a bit lamely, truly not knowing exactly why he had allowed Zach to join them, besides the obvious fact that it didn't really matter if he was there or not: he still knew about their club, and that was enough to go snitching to anyone he pleased. Harry was thankful Hermione was so clever; the jinxed parchment they'd all signed had been a brilliant idea and it made him feel better about the whole thing. Ron narrowed his eyes at Zach but said nothing.
The lot of them were settled in and awaiting a word from Harry by five-past eight.
Harry looked around at them all. Angelina and the twins were sitting together, she in the middle. They looked like a funny reverse version of the Muggle biscuits Harry's cousin Dudley gobbled up all the time. Cho and Marietta stared up at him; his heart beat at him through his now too-tight shirt and jumper when he saw the excited expression on his former crush's pretty face. Ginny sat leaned against Michael, her expression hard to read but he hoped she was praying for him not to embarrass himself in front of all of them.
"Uh, well, now we're all here, I just wanted to-" he noticed that Hermione had raised her hand. Frowning, Harry nodded for her to speak. "What, Hermione?"
"I think, before everything gets started officially," she began ceremoniously, "It might be a good idea to elect a leader."
"Harry's the leader." Harry looked to Cho, who had spoken to Hermione as if she were daft. He felt a pang of defensiveness for Hermione's benefit, but competing with that were two other emotions: a slight swell of delight that Cho automatically thought of him as her leader, and some discomfort at being singled out as such.
Hermione paid little mind to Cho's affronted attitude. She explained that it would be better if they all voted and gave him the authority themselves, rather than the rank simply being an assumed thing. He thought that she was perhaps doing this for his own peace of mind, more than theirs…she knew he was nervous and a little self-conscious about being any sort of leader to a bunch of kids (many of whom were older than him) who all had their own opinions on who he was and what he had done.
Harry watched as they all voted, officially electing him leader of their group. Once that was out of the way, they settled on a name. Angelina suggested "The Anti-Umbridge League" somewhat bitterly. Though they all felt the same about the woman, they chose to go a different direction. It was Ginny who came up with "Dumbledore's Army."
They took a vote, and Dumbledore's Army (the D.A. for short) finally began their meeting.
"Okay…" Harry exhaled his nerves, unconsciously wiping his hands on his jeans. He had taken his cloak off and rolled up his sleeves. It had become a slightly warmer temperature now that he was being watched by twenty-something pairs of eyes. "Well, I thought we ought to start with something basic, but really useful. It's only meant to disarm your opponent, but it's come in handy-"
"Expelliarmus?" Zacharius said rather rebelliously. "How is something that simple supposed to help us against You-Know-Who?"
Harry blinked at him, suddenly regretting his decision to allow him to attend tonight. "It saved my life last year when he tried to kill me."
The room was silent, all of them taking in the gravity of Harry's statement. Zacharius opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything else, Angelina's firm voice could be heard declaring: "If you think it's beneath you, you can leave, Smith."
"Yeah, the door's that way…" Ron muttered.
Zach said nothing. There were no more objections on what Harry chose for them to learn.
Harry silently bade Angelina thank you with his eyes and continued. "So, eh…let's pair off. We can practice for a few minutes, and then regroup."
An odd feeling came over him as he watched them all silently obey him. No wonder teachers love their power so much… he thought, smiling a little. It was kind of cool to finally be respected, if only for an hour.
Harry blew his unruly hair out of his face and leaned over to replace another pillow. Their first meeting, for all intents and purposes, had gone really well. As he shoved more pillows back into the places they'd found them earlier, he remembered how excited Neville had been to succeed at disarming him, even though his attention had been elsewhere at the time. Ginny had been very impressive; disarming her boyfriend Michael without much effort once she got the hang of it—and she learned quickly. Angelina impressed him as well, but of course he had to linger with her a bit when he'd been walking around to observe people's progress. She gave him a sly smile as she pretended that she hadn't quite gotten the hang of the necessary wrist movement.
"Like this?" she'd asked innocently. He'd almost chuckled aloud, but chose to nod at her, adopting a serious expression.
"Right. No, wait. Here…" He had walked around behind her, ignoring the somewhat envious look that her partner Lee Jordan was giving at all the personal attention. He took hold of her wrist, his throat a little tight with the sheer audacity of what he was doing in the midst of all the others, and mimed the motion with her. "Like that. Try it." His fingers lingered on her skin some seconds longer than they needed to before he let her go. She performed the charm perfectly, causing Lee's wand to fly out of his grip.
"Thanks."
"No problem." His temples had been throbbing with a foreign swell of warmth that Harry would months later learn was as yet untapped energy of a certain kind.
Cho.
Cho was a natural spell-castor, who seemed to learn quickly and produce results consistently…at least she did when Harry wasn't anywhere near her. It was odd…she seemed to mess up more often when he was watching her than she did when he was helping someone else, or when she didn't know that he was looking. She had muttered something about him making her nervous, but Harry just couldn't grasp that concept. Surely the roles hadn't been reversed?
Now, Harry fluffed the last pillow, hoping that his stalling technique had worked and Angelina had caught on that he wanted to walk back to the common room with her after Ron and Hermione made sure everyone had returned safely. He stood upright as casually as he could; feeling a little ridiculous for fluffing all those cushions; and scratched his neck before turning to check that it was just the two of them. It was. But instead of Angelina, he found himself looking a Cho.
Harry blinked at her, trying to hide the surprise in his eyes. "Cho? Why didn't you go with Ron and Hermione?"
"Oh, um…" the pretty girl shifted awkwardly on her feet and looked away from him at the bookshelf over his shoulder. After a pause in which Harry suspected she was coming up with an answer that seemed believable, she said simply: "I forgot something."
"Oh. Okay. What?"
"Eh…I-I mean I lost it."
Harry was puzzled, but he didn't verbalize the feeling. He looked around at his feet, not really sure what exactly he was looking for. An earring? Cho didn't wear earrings. He knew little things like that about her. He had watched her from a distance all last year. She wasn't making any attempt to search with him, and when he realized this he frowned at her. "Um…Cho? What exactly-?"
"Harry, I didn't really lose anything," she blurted.
"Oh." He really must learn to articulate himself better. Harry waited for her to explain herself, all the while thinking vaguely that he had only wanted to sneak in a kiss or two with Angelina and damned if something like this happened. She seemed unwilling to elaborate—seemed down right harassed by her own reluctance. Harry suddenly remembered Zach's terrible apology to him after dinner and he smiled. "Hey, if this is about Zach…its fine, don't worry about it." Harry gestured to nothing in particular with his hands. "I mean, he is a bit of a prat, but I suppose he's all right."
"Zach? Oh, yeah…I don't really like him that much but I think he and Marietta have a…thing."
"Ahh, I see." Harry was beginning to relax, grateful for some semblance of a casual conversation. He marveled at the fact that if this had been last year, he would not have been able to speak much due to a crippling case of nerves. "They look like they would. No offense to your friend."
Cho looked for a moment as if she didn't understand his statement, but then she sighed and stepped forward slightly, closing off some space between them. He saw her raven-colored hair glint almost bluish in the dim light. "Harry, you know, I really wanted to tell you something."
"What?" His voice cracked.
Her eyes were heavily-lidded; the lashes very delicately blinking up at him. Harry remembered why he liked her. She was quite beautiful but there was sadness to her beauty that she had always possessed. Only now, after what happened to Cedric, it seemed a little more palpable. He always thought that she was like him; sort of cut off from everyone. Sort of…different.
"Last year, when you asked me to the ball, I really would've said yes, except…" she trailed off.
"I know. Cedric asked you first." It was a little hard for him to talk about Cedric aloud, especially to her. He rubbed his chest as a slight stiffness came upon him there. "It-It's okay."
"I really liked you."
Harry felt his stomach do a back flip. He had to think for a minute. She said she liked him. Out loud. But, she had used the past tense. "I-I really liked you too…" was all he could think to say.
She looked relieved and upset at the same time. "Oh, why couldn't you have asked me sooner?"
"Well, it was a little hard to get up the nerve," again, he found she made him unusually honest about his feelings. "I don't think any of us knew what we were doing." He tried to make a joke of it, including the whole of the male population at Hogwarts in his statement.
There was a moment of heavy silence. Cho curled and uncurled her fingers together. Harry shoved his hands in his pockets and wondered what to say next. He thought of Angelina and was sure he felt a pang of guilt seize him but it was gone as quickly as it had come and he assured himself that he and Cho were just talking. Though, truth be told, it was the most words the two of them had ever exchanged. He found this amusing.
"What are you smiling about?" came her soft, small voice.
"Huh? Nothing…"
"You did a good job tonight. You're a natural teacher."
"Oh, thanks." She seemed to have moved closer to him. Or maybe he was imagining it.
"Did you see how everyone just…did what you said?"
"Yeah, that was pretty cool…" he cleared his throat and shifted on his feet, "…yeah."
"Harry?" Harry swallowed back an uncomfortable knot in his throat. She was definitely closer.
"Yes?" Now he could smell the potion she used in her hair. Ever-last lilac scent. All sorts of emotions ran through Harry just then, starting with an absurd yank of excitement that really should've belonged to the past, and ending with that little pang of guilt again.
"I like the way you roll your sleeves up…" She was mere inches from him, now. Despite her rather strange statement, he found himself blushing.
"Uh…thanks."
"Your arms are so…" she reached up and touched cool fingers to his burning skin. The hairs on his arm stood up. Her hands were very delicate. "Strong. Like his were…"
She had closed her eyes and was definitely leaning in to kiss him. He probably would have done the same, but something she said registered a little slowly and when it clicked he frowned and stepped back. Her eyes flew open and she looked confused, but he could see that she realized her mistake.
"You mean…like Cedric's?"
"What?"
"Maybe we should get back. Curfew is over. We'll be in loads of trouble if we're caught."
Harry didn't look at her directly as he turned to walk past her and gather up his cloak and map. He knew that the irritation and disappointment could be read clearly on his face, but he didn't care. He didn't really even know why he was so angry—she was not his girlfriend and he shouldn't have allowed himself to be put in the situation. All the same, a small part of him (all right, a bigger part than he was willing to admit) felt really let down. Cho stood there for a moment, looking at him hopefully as if she wanted him to forget what she said and come back to the moment. He still didn't look at her as he fastened his robe and tucked his map into his back pocket.
"I think the coast is clear for now, but we have to hurry."
"Okay…" Somewhat reluctantly, Cho followed him out of the room. They walked in silence, Harry checking his map every now and again to make sure no one was about. They barely escaped being spotted by Mrs. Norris, but other than that there was no danger. When they were standing outside the entrance to her common room, she tried to say something; perhaps an apology for ruining their first moment alone together since last year; but he cut her off, saying that he really should hurry back to his side of the castle.
"Don't want another week of detention with Umbridge," he muttered, waving slightly and turning to go. "Good night, Cho."
"'Night, Harry…" He left her staring glumly after him.
Harry chided himself silently all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. How could he have been so incredibly sappy and stupid? Fist off, getting caught up in a moment with Cho that he really had no right to be involved in since he already had a girlfriend. And second off, getting so upset over a perfectly innocent comment? After all, he had no idea how hard it had been for Cho after Cedric…left. Harry knew how long it took him to shed the terrible images of the older Hufflepuff's lifeless eyes…he could only imagine how poor Cho must've felt over it.
He decided not to let it matter so much. It was nice to know that she had the same feelings for him as he'd had for her. But the fact was he had to remember that his crush on Cho was all past, now. Too little, too late. Angelina was his girlfriend, and he could not be happier with the way things had turned out. As if he had conjured her up by thinking so fondly of their moments together, Harry found Angelina sitting on the chaise lounge in the common room when he stepped through. He grinned, truly glad that she had waited up for him.
"Hey," he said in a good-natured whisper, not noticing the somewhat sour look on her pretty face. The room was dark, as everyone had already gone up to bed, and the only light was the amber flicker of the fire. "I'm glad you're up. Wanted to say g'night…"
"Did you have fun snogging Cho Chang, then?"
Harry stopped mid-lean—he had been planning to kiss her, but her cold voice destroyed that idea. He furrowed his brow.
"What?"
Angelina stood up and slipped past him, walking around to the other side of the chaise. She glared at him.
"I saw her waiting up for you. It took you an awfully long time to get back, Harry…"
"Hang on a sec-" he said defensively, but she threw up a hand to silence him.
"I know you have a crush on her. And I told you she felt the same, remember?"
"Yeah, you did. And she…well, she does…sort of." She scoffed at him as if he had admitted guilt, causing him to shake his head anxiously. "That doesn't mean anything happened! We just talked for a bit, honest!"
Harry hadn't thought that this would happen. The possibility of actually fighting with Angelina so soon after they'd agreed to be together had been almost nonexistent in his mind before this moment, and he had to admit he was rather thrown for a loop. She stood staring at him, her arms crossed, seemingly waiting for him to explain himself. He suddenly realized that he had no idea what he was doing. Beginning to witness the impossible myriad of girls' emotions was a bit of a shock. He tried to place himself in her shoes. What if the roles were reversed and it had been Angelina lingering behind to talk to Fred? He had always thought the two of them were very, very close. This knowledge was one of the things that had confused him when they first began to like each other—he had simply assumed, like everyone else did, probably, that Fred and Angelina were a couple. If not already, then they were certainly on their way to being one. But, no…Fred had been sitting right there in the little room when Angelina kissed him. So, what if Fred and Angie had stayed behind and been alone for half an hour? What if he had been the one waiting up for her, his mind racing through what in the world those two could've been doing all that while?
Harry thought he understood, now. Angelina was jealous; just like he would've been if things were the other way around.
"Well?" she said impatiently, drawing him out of his contemplation. She looked angry, but also kind of scared. What did she expect him to say to her? That he had decided that he liked Cho and he wanted her to be his girlfriend instead? It looked to Harry like maybe she did expect him to say that. He thought was just plain silly of her. He wasn't that kind of guy.
Harry decided to be honest...sort of. "We talked about Cedric, actually."
When she heard these words, her face slowly melted from angry impatience to sympathy and a little embarrassment. "Oh…" was all she said. Harry watched her rub her forehead with her palms, sighing as if she were suddenly very tired. This gesture really revealed her age to him, he felt. It was funny—he had never really thought of himself like this before—but indeed sometimes she made him feel, with something as simple as a gesture, that he was not fit for her. Was he really so young and inexperienced? Would he become an annoyance to her down the line, when what he wanted to be was…he wanted to be her equal; her boyfriend.
Angelina lowered her hands and smiled apologetically at him. "I'm sorry, Harry. It's all the stress from Quidditch. I'm just…arse over tits about everything, it seems, including you. I was being a paranoid sod, forget about it."
He didn't know what to say to that. "It's my fault," he opted to utter.
She shook her head sternly. "I would have done the same thing you did, so shut up about that."
She was speaking to him that way again—it always drove him crazy but now he realized he kind of liked in some strange way. He didn't know, of course, that this would play a role in the dynamic they shared for a long time to come.
"But you have to know that I feel worse than anybody about it, right?"
"I know. Doesn't change anything, though."
"No. It doesn't."
"So…" Angelina raised a curious eyebrow at him. "Nothing…happened? You guys just…talked about, um…" she hesitated in mentioning Cedric's name.
"Well, she did mostly," Harry sat down and rested his head on the comfortable pillows of the couch. Angelina joined him. "I don't really like talking about him." He didn't explain why, but he knew he didn't need to.
"Sorry I accused you."
"I'd have done the same, actually." He smiled and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling as tired as she had looked moments before. "I still don't understand why you like me."
"You do that all the time," she said almost reproachfully. So do you, he thought, in reference to her way of speaking to him as if he were a first year who had wondered into the wrong lavatory. "Why do you not see what everyone else does? Cho included."
"She told me I was a good teacher." He ignored her first statement, not really wishing to talk to her about his insecurities so early in their relationship: officially four hours, thirty-two minutes, and counting, as a couple.
"You are," she agreed. "Can't wait till our next lesson, Harry..." Her voice took on a mischievous tone that made him slide open his eyes and turn to look at her. Her eyes were sparkling in the amber flicker of the fire. Her mouth looked…he leaned over and kissed her.
"That's Mister Potter to you." Harry whispered hoarsely, smiling against her full lips and putting to use his newly-liberated tongue as he slid it warmly into her mouth and met it with hers.
He couldn't suppress that smirk; he had often wondered what he would sound like saying stuff like that to a girl. Indeed it seemed to excite her and he found himself being pushed down to lie on his back on the couch. The soft cushion of the red velvet pillows sank below him to accommodate their weight as she fell on top of him, taking control of the kiss. Her long limbs seemed to wrap themselves protectively around him and she deepened their embrace, falling slowly into his mouth with her own. Harry closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of her supple body undulating against his. He allowed her to lead him, feeling her bring her leg up slightly so that her knee rested just at his waist. He hesitated, but let his hand slide across her bare skin there. She was wearing shorts and a simple tee-shirt of one her favorite Quidditch teams to sleep in; no bra, he could tell after a moment. Her fingers were in his hair. She opened her mouth wider and her lips took his chin into a warm, damp embrace. Harry felt a heavy sigh of heat swoop through him from navel to crotch and he gasped in surprise.
She pulled herself upward slightly, frowning down at him. "What's wrong?"
He didn't know how to say it. He didn't know how to say that this was the first time he'd ever gone this far with a girl…god and it was a girl like her...
His senses had suddenly become very sensitive and everything he felt—from the smoothness of the skin on her thigh as his hand rested on it, to the soft prickle of the tips of her long hair brushing against his neck from her position over him—caused his nerve endings to quiver with heat-fueled excitement. This sensation was the most intense in his crotch area, to be sure. As she was now; straddling him; if she kept on moving around like that she would feel what he wanted to say and there would be no need for him to part his lips. She didn't move any more, but sat watching him with those intense brown eyes of hers.
"You want to stop?"
Harry considered this. He didn't want to embarrass himself. Oh there was a very large part of Harry that really wanted to keep going but he didn't think he would able to control what would happen if they did. He just loved kissing her—kissing would lead to other things, he knew. Things he had virtually no experience in.
He must've taken too long to weigh his options because she sat up and moved away from him, bringing her knees up to her chin so that she could peer over at him curiously.
"Maybe we should stop."
"We don't have to," he said quietly, his senses still heightened and the warm throb in his groin still not going away. "I was just thinking…"
"It's too soon, right?" she finished for him. "We shouldn't be fooling around so much. And besides, I've got Quidditch and you've got Umbridge to worry about, and if someone saw us like this it might get out that we're together, and rumors would spread like wildfire-!"
"Okay, okay!" he cut her off, a bit annoyed with her anxious chattering. The throbbing began to ebb away a little.
She bit her lip apologetically. "Sorry. But you're right. We should stop."
He wanted to tell her that he hadn't actually said they should stop, but reasoned that she had a point. Ginny's words to him at dinner came back, and he sighed, getting up from the couch and running a hand through his untidy hair. She grinned up at him for a while before standing and taking hold of his face with her soft hands.
"You understand, right?"
Harry nodded breathlessly as they exchanged several swift kisses on the mouth. The sensation of her lips pressing on his and then peeling damply away caused the pulse of arousal to rear up again slightly, and as they embraced Angelina muttered "…you're so cute…it's so hard not to…" He tried to hold her tighter; tried to pull her back into his desire for her. He could feel how much she wanted to stay tangled up with him on the couch, but she pulled her lips away and held him at arm's length again, shaking her head. "Let's just wait a bit, okay Harry?"
"Okay…"
"Goodnight."
"'Night, Angelina." He watched her go, momentarily reminded again of the night of the Yule Ball—that retreating back…arched dark-chocolate, climbing up those stairs.
When she was gone he turned to the fireplace and stared into it for a long time. His mind carried him away from Angelina and he thought of Sirius. This led him to Umbridge, which led him to his being banned…the shower…his scar…Dumbledore. He needed to talk to Dumbledore. Ron was right. Deciding to let Angelina deal with re-peopling her poor Quidditch team and to put aside his awkward exchange with Cho for the time being, Harry carried himself and his unsatisfied loins off to bed.