Sorry I've still been scarce lately. Been working A LOT and experimenting with new migraine medications because my previous one decided to be rude and stop working after being great for years. So...big fun over here, lol. Anyway, thanks so much for all of your comments and feedback. I appreciate it so much. :-)

"And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's dumb because she's just a doll and I'm way too old to be preoccupied with some doll, but Tali wasn't just a doll to me. I wasn't like you. I didn't get to grow up with the same group of friends in the same school year after year. I didn't have that. But I had Tali. She was with me through so many moves and new cities and first days at new schools. When I had trouble sleeping at night in a brand new bedroom I had her to keep me company." Angela absent-mindedly braided the doll's hair, much the way she did as a child. She learned to braid hair by practicing on Tali and her other dolls…usually the other dolls because she didn't care as much if she made a mistake with them. "It feels weird to call a toy my best friend but she really was. Tali was one of the few constants in my life. And then she was just gone with no warning and…" She shook her head and thought back to those first few days when she and her dad tore the house apart and searched every nook and cranny. "…I don't know why I'm rambling. It's dumb."

"I don't think it's dumb."

She twisted around to look at Eric. "You don't?"

"No. I think it's sweet you had something you loved so much and I really hate your mom for stealing her. It makes me want to send my mom over to kick her butt."

She was grateful for a reason to laugh. "Seriously?"

"Well I can't go over there. That would be wrong."

"Be real. Your mom would not go beat up my mom."

"You wanna bet?" He leaned over to grab the phone. While his dad was usually the hot-tempered one, it was usually reserved for discipline at home. He's seen his mom go into hyper-proctective mode more than once over the years. All bets were off with her when she felt her kids were threatened. "I'll call her right now. Not only will she kick butt, but she'll make your favorite cookies before the blood's dried."

Angela scrunched up her face. "Well that's a lovely image, thank you. But seriously, put the phone away." She took the phone out of his hands. "Besides, I doubt she'd beat someone up for me."

"Hey, don't underestimate how many people care about you. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you think that I'd think you wanting your doll was dumb?"

"I don't know. Because it is just a doll? Because I'm nineteen and it shouldn't mean this much? I should be over these childish things by now."

"Angela, you're in bed with a guy who has superheroes on his pillowcases. Why would I think a doll is dumb or childish? I haven't even shown you my action figure collection yet."

"You mean those dolls in the box in your closet? I saw those when I helped you clean and create a study space."

"Action figures," he insisted. "Not dolls. Action figures. They're going to be worth something someday, those and my baseball card collection. I lucked out and have a few error cards in my collection and those are going to be a new car by themselves." He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I know you're trying to change the subject. You can try the truth, you know?"

"I knew you wouldn't think it was stupid. But I suppose I was starting to," Angela admitted, staring at Tali. "It's a child's toy. I'm a grown-up."

"No, you're not."

"I'm grown enough to have to sign my own legal documents. I'm an adult now."

"Hey, watch it with the A word. I became an official adult in February and I resent it every day. Your age still ends with -teen." He grimaced. "And I gotta not think of it because if I do for too long I'll feel like a-"

"Cradle robber?"

"Funny."

"You know this isn't about the doll, right? I mean some of it is, but not all of it. Maybe not even most of it."

"I had a feeling."

"It's dumb. Who says I would've still had her if my mother never stole her?"

"You don't have anything from when you were a kid? I know your dad kept a bunch of stuff."

"I have my poetry books and my sonnets. My dad started giving them to me for my tenth birthday. I think he was afraid of me losing the joy I found in books and writing. He hated that when my mother left my interest in music went with her. I quit writing my dumb little songs. I gave up learning the guitar. You already know I've hardly touched a piano in years."

"I didn't know you played guitar."

"Mom and I were learning together." Forgotten memories came back to her, memories she'd thought buried deep down to never be disturbed. There were times it really felt like her and her mother against the world. The army kept her dad so busy even back then. "We weren't very good, but we had fun. Once we mastered guitar we planned to teach ourselves the drums." She shifted in his arms and laid her head against his chest, one arm wrapped around him, the other still clutching Tali. "My dad wanted me to be passionate about something. He thought art classes would be a good replacement for the music, therapeutic. But we moved so much and art classes were always too rigid for me. I'd rather be left alone to create. Coloring between the lines is dull."

"That's pretty much my motto for life," Eric said, tracing his fingertips along her spine. "So do you draw, paint, what?"

"I draw sometimes, usually when I have writer's block. For whatever reason it clears my head. I'm okay."

"I'm sure you're better than just okay."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly unbiased."

"Can you blame me? You're amazing."

Angela rolled her eyes but did have a hint of a smile on her face. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm already amazing. I thought we both knew that."

"No, I mean do you have any childhood mementos aside from the action figures and baseball cards?" She could sense his hesitation. "I won't laugh even if you think it's silly."

"Okay. Sit up for a second."

Angela sat up and moved near the foot of the bed, turning around to face him. She was puzzled when he moved one of the pillows that had been supporting them against the headboard. He reached inside the pillowcase and pulled out a faded green cloth. "You sleep with a dust rag in your pillowcase?"

"Excuse you, but this is the blankie my mommy made for me before I was born."

"Why is it in your pillow?"

"I had a lot of trouble sleeping after I first moved out and started college. I went to beg my mom to at least let me nap at the house a couple times a week because I was so desperate. She said when I was a toddler the only way I'd sleep for a babysitter was with one of hers' or dad's shirts. I told her it would be too weird for me to steal their laundry now so she dug out what was left of my old blanket and told me to stick it in my pillowcase." He shook his head. "I thought it was stupid, but was willing to try anything at that point. Damned if it didn't work."

"What happened to the rest of the blanket?"

"Disintegrated over time." He handed it over so she could see. "If you look at pictures of me from baby Eric until I started school, I dragged Bucket everywhere like Linus from the Charlie Brown cartoons."

"Bucket?"

"Yeah."

"You named your blanket? Not just named it, but called it Bucket?"

"When I was learning to talk I couldn't say blanket or blankie. When I tried, bucket is what came out. My parents thought it was funny and it's always been either Bucket or Buckie when I was whiny and tired."

She snickered. "Buckie."

"You promised not to laugh," he exclaimed, taking his blanket back.

"I'm not laughing because you still have your baby blanket. But the name, it's-"

"Yeah?"

"Adorable."

"Really?"

"Yes." Angela grabbed onto the sleeve of his t-shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. "Although we're hardly grownups, you with Buckie and me with Tali."

"Being a grownup is overrated."

"Agreed." She lay on the bed, resting her head on his leg. "And lucky me, I get to try to be a grownup and go through this all over again for the next few days with my mother."

"You can't skip it?"

"Aunt Lois said she would understand if I made myself scarce, but I can't. I owe it to Nan after I ignored her when I moved out."

"After everything I've learned about your grandmother, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want you to torture yourself."

"It's either deal with the torture now or have it hanging over my head for the rest of my life and I'd rather rip off the band-aid now. God knows it's been pulled off one hair at a time for long enough."

Eric hated that Angela viewed her family that way. Family shouldn't be something you just deal with. They should be people who loved and supported you unconditionally. It killed him that she didn't have that. He wanted to be that source of love and support- they could be it for each other- if only she didn't resist it. Angela had no problem figuring her way into stuff he tried to shield her from. Why couldn't she let him return the favor? "Is there anything I can do," he asked, running his hand down her back. "I can come hang out after my algebra class. The teacher always lets us leave right after the test. I'll even stay in your room and study: far enough to be out of the way but close enough if you need me."

"No, that's okay. It's my drama. Why put yourself through that?"

"Because I want to be there. Maybe it's your drama, but that doesn't mean you have to go through it alone. We're in a relationship here. What's the point if we desert each other when times get tough?"

She sat up. "It's not deserting me if I ask you to keep your distance. You grew up in a family that belongs in those sickening Hallmark ads that take over around the holidays. You don't get what I'm dealing with."

"But I want to. I want to help. Don't you feel better after we talk things out? I know I do when you help me."

"Sure, because worrying about grades is the same as what I'm dealing with." She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Wow. Nice."

"Eric-"

"No, it's okay. I didn't realize we were comparing traumas here. Where do we start? How about this? One of my earliest memories is being around three and losing track of my mom at the mall. I hid behind a row of gumball machines until I heard her calling for me. I was afraid she was gone forever." He got off the bed and walked over to the window. "Sometimes when I'm really stressed, I still have nightmares about it."

"I'm-"

"And who can forget the time my dad lost me at the amusement park. I was stuck on a ride spinning round and round and round for hours. Huh…both my parents lost me in big public places. They never did that with Cory or Morgan. Hasn't happened with Josh yet. What should I read into that? Am I that easy to forget?"

"Stop it! I don't want to fight with you."

"Then why the hell are you so determined to draw first blood?"

Angela put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry. It-it's not you. You're not the one I'm mad at."

"Then stop taking it out on me. I'll sit here all night and listen to you vent, but this," he paused and gestured between them, "has to stop. I'm not a pinata!"

"What," she asked, dumbfounded.

"You can't poke me with a stick until all your problems fall out."

"Do you remember what you said about your mom's theory about having a safe person to lose your shit with?"

Eric rejoined her on the bed. "Those weren't her exact words, but yeah."

"You're about the safest person I have in my life right now."

"That doesn't mean you get to treat me like crap."

"You're right. There's no excuse. I'll leave if you want me to." She sighed in relief and practically melted into him when he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I spent years thinking about how I'd react if I ever saw my mom again, how strong I'd be. I even knew exactly what I'd say to tell her off. But nothing's gone the way I thought it would. I don't know if I've ever felt this lost and alone."

"You're not, though. That's what I've been trying to tell you." He pulled her into his lap and held her tight. "But it only works if you meet me halfway and don't shove me aside."

Angela wasn't sure she'd ever been this emotionally exhausted. Whenever she thought she reached her limit of what she could handle the universe decided to unleash more chaos, more revelations. Things were so twisted it was hard to tell if her mother was trying to apologize for leaving or digging the knife in deeper. And then there was Eric. She didn't want to make him feel bad. All he ever tried to do was help her. She envied those people who could blindly fall backward and didn't have to wonder if they'd be caught by those they loved. They just knew. He knew. She wanted that. She wanted to be open and honest and dive in- or fall back- with no hesitation, no fear. How was it that whenever she tried something got in the way?

"Cool, there's a duck on her dress."

Her head snapped up to look at him. "Huh?"

"Tali," he said, pointing to the doll, "I didn't notice it before, but she's got a duck on her dress." He realized Angela looked confused. "Please don't tell me we have to go over this again. You should know by now that duckies rule!"

She smiled. She couldn't help it. Eric's ability to find joy in the smallest moments was one of the many things she loved about him.

"Now there's the face I like to see. Not that I don't love all your faces and expressions," he added, "but smiling is definitely one of your best."

Her arms went around his neck and she closed the gap between them. "I love you," she whispered, not giving him the chance to respond before she pressed her mouth against his.

Eric put up no resistance and fell back when she nudged him towards the mattress. It never mattered to him who initiated things, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a huge turn-on when it was her. Her hands wandered under his shirt, fingertips gliding along his sides. His laughter was automatic and broke their kiss. "Mean to use secret knowledge of tickle spots against me."

She braced her hands on his shoulders and peered down and him, smirking. "And what do you plan to do about that?"
He ran his hands up her legs until they came to rest on her waist. "Whatever you want." Any torture she came up with was always the
best kind.
Whatever you want. How like him, looking out for her, following her lead…putting her needs first. She didn't deserve someone so sweet. When Eric reached out and cupped her cheek she leaned into his touch.

"Sorry, but you need to move or-or…something. The game Red Light/Green Light doesn't exactly work for foreplay." He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment when she shifted on his lap. "Not playing fair again," he noted with a laugh. Any further conversation was lost to her kisses, these seemingly more desperate, needy than before. She bit down hard on his bottom lip before breaking away to take off her shirt. She tossed it to the side and before she could remove his he took her hands and held them in his. "You okay?"

Angela pulled on his hands so he was sitting up, flush against her. "Can we pretend we're the only people in the world for tonight? Nothing exists outside that door?"

"Just for tonight? That's what I do every time we're alone." He leaned in and kissed her gently. "Do me a favor though?"

"What?"

"I feel weird doing it with the doll on the bed. Could you move her?"

She laughed quietly and kissed him once more before responding, "Sure."

/

/

"Next weekend, road trip, destination: Yogaville," Cory announced when Shawn opened the door to the trailer. "Are you in?"

He ran his hands through his hair. "Next weekend? I don't know. I have to check my work schedule."

"Seriously? Shawnie, come on! We're talking about me and Topanga. Don't you miss her?"

"Sure I do and I'm rooting for you guys, Cor, but I also like having a paycheck."

"But-"

"Look, worst case scenario I might have to work early Saturday, but I've had Sundays off lately. Would leaving Saturday afternoon work if we needed to?"

He pouted. It was almost a five-hour drive and he'd wanted to get an early start. "I don't know. That would cost me almost an entire day. I promised Jack I'd have his car back to him before he has to be at work Monday morning."

Shawn's eyes went wide. "Jack's lending you his car to go out of state? Man, how much did you have to beg and bargain with him to get him to agree to that?"
"I didn't," he stated. "I asked if I could borrow it and he said sure, provided it was back by Monday."
"Are you kidding me?! I practically have to sign a contract in blood whenever I want to use it but he just hands over the keys to you like it's nothing?"

"Not nothing. I do have to fill the gas tank and not wreck it. I also promised to run it through a car wash."

"Still, I'm his brother. You're just the roommate. I should have dibs on his car."

"Don't you think you're overreacting a little?"

"You wouldn't be mad if Eric let me borrow his car but not you?"

"Who in their right mind would want to borrow Eric's car? It's this close from having to be driven like it belongs to Fred Flintstone."

"I can't believe Jack," he muttered to himself.

"I am a much better driver that you are. Who wouldn't feel more comfortable handing me the keys? In fact," Cory continued, practically gloating, "I think- no, I know I'm the best driver in our group."

"Only one of us has ever been stopped by a cop and taken in for his driving and it sure as hell wasn't me."

"That was a speed trap!"

Shawn shook his head, pissed at Jack and upset with Cory for not getting why he was pissed. "You know what, I will go to Yogaville."

"Yay," he cheered, jumping up and down.

"In fact, I'll drive."

"Um, Shawnie-"

"Now if you don't mind," Shawn began, shoving his friend towards the door, "I have to head to the studio and get someone to cover next Saturday for me. I'm really looking forward to this. It's been too long since our last road trip."

Before Cory could process what happened he was standing outside the trailer with the door being closed in his face. "Crap."

/

/

"Is it okay if I keep her here?"

Eric turned around to look at Angela. It was the next morning and he was getting dressed before heading to school. He was supposed to drop her off on his way, but she's made no move to get out of bed yet. "Who?"

"Tali- can I keep her here until my mom goes back to Atlanta? I don't trust her not to steal her back."

"No problem. How long is your mom supposed to be in town?" She shrugged. "Are you sure you don't want me to come to the house after my classes? Just say the word."

"Well…"

"I'll be there."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Anytime." He glanced at the clock and held in a yawn. He had a hell of a time sleeping last night and it wasn't because he was worried about his test. Angela was restless and moving constantly. It was unusual because normally he slept through anything. She was asleep and not doing it on purpose, but after the third time of being smacked with a random body part- or her doll- he almost moved to the couch. The only thing that stopped him was knowing she'd feel bad, and likely more isolated than she already did. "I'm not trying to rush you, but if you want a ride we have to leave soon."

"Right." She reluctantly got out of bed and shuffled around the room to get ready. She was already wishing today was over.

"Oh, I forget to mention that Morgan called me the other day. She said she called you, but you never got back to her."

"Crap, sorry. I forgot."

"That's okay. I told her you've been busy. But she just wanted to know the next time we were coming to the house because she had a birthday gift for you."

"Really? That's so sweet."

"Yeah, she seemed super excited about it, too, and said it would be memorable for me, which makes me nervous."

"Why?"

"Because that means the gift is probably some embarrassing thing from my past- a picture or something."

She smiled. "I'm intrigued."

"Mean."

"Morgan's your kid sister. How much dirt could she have on you?"

Eric weighed the pros and cons of answering that honestly. "Just promise you'll still love me no matter what?"

"Deal."

/

"Perfect," Angela said under her breath.

"What?"

She gestured to the porch. "I was hoping I would beat her here. Damn."

"I'd offer to stay, but-"

"No, it's okay. Go to class."

"If it was just a regular class and not the last test before we start reviewing for the final I'd skip in a heartbeat."

"I'm fine. Really. It's enough knowing I'll see you in a few hours."

"I'll bring food. Is Little Pete's okay?" She nodded. "Your usual?"

"Sure." She stared straight ahead for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I suppose I have to get out of the car for this, right?"

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face him. "Good luck on your test."

"Good luck with…not killing your mother."

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss, knowing he was already running behind. "Have bail money ready just in case."

"Please, won't be needed. We'd change our names and go on the run."

Angela kissed him once more before getting out of the car. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

She stood on the curb and waited until she could no longer see Eric's car before she approached the house. Her mother was still sitting on the steps. As she unlatched the gate she made a silent plea to whatever universal force there was to give her the strength to survive this. "Where's Aunt Lois?"

"Uncle Manny got a flat tire on his way to work. For some reason his spare was in her car so she had to drive to get it to him."

"Oh."

"She called right as I was leaving the hotel. She said she was going to call you, too, but I guess you didn't get her message."

Angela took her phone out of her purse: two missed calls and one voicemail awaited her. "I forgot to put the ringer back on." She stood on the bottom step and leaned against the railing. "Did she say how long she would be?"

Camille shook her head. "All I know is Uncle Manny was more than halfway to work and-"

"-and he works in New Jersey."

"Right."

"Great."

"On the plus side, this will give you a chance to freshen up."

Her eyebrows approached her hairline. "I feel freshened up enough right now, thanks."

"I understand you love wearing your boyfriend's shirts, but maybe you should find something a little more modest…or at least apply some cover-up."

"I…modest?! It's a guy's t-shirt. It's loose and baggy. Your shorts are shorter than mine!"

"Yes, but my clothes aren't showing off fresh hickeys."

Angela wasn't sure if her cheeks flushed from embarrassment, the heat, or rage. Probably some combination of the three. "Go to hell. And don't ever try to tell me what to do again."

"I was just thinking of how Aunt Lois will react. I spent a lot of time with her and my cousins while growing up when Nan was working. She read my cousin Jeannie the riot act one night when she came home from a date with fewer hickeys than you."

"Yeah, well I don't know about how Aunt Lois was with you, but she bought a bigger bed for my room so it would be more comfortable when Eric spends the night." Okay, maybe that wasn't the real reason Aunt Lois offered to upgrade the bedroom furniture but damned if Angela didn't enjoy the look of shock on her mother's face.

"Oh."

"I'm an adult. I don't have to answer to anybody, least of all you."

"Maybe you don't have to answer to anyone, but you want answers, right?"

"What?"

Camille stood and moved down a couple of stairs. "I know you claim not to care about anything I have to say, but that's a lie."

"Please, you don't know anything about-"

"I'll answer any questions you have. If you want my side of the story, my truth, I'll give it to you."

Angela played with the leather bracelet on her wrist. It was Eric's and he let her borrow it after she admired the clasp being a dragon's head. What was it she said last night about ripping the band-aid off and ending the torture? Turns out it was one thing to say it and another to do it when standing in front of your torturer. "And I'm just supposed to blindly trust what you say?"

"That's up to you I guess." She pushed past her and headed up the stairs. For a minute Camille thought her daughter was going to disappear into the house, but she sat on the wicker couch on the porch instead. She debated joining her but realized this wasn't a sit on the same couch and spill secrets like old girlfriends type of mother/daughter conversation they were having. So she dragged a chair over instead. "Well," she asked, after they had been sitting there for a few minutes in total silence.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Just…all of it. Why?"

She sighed and shoved any loose pieces of hair behind her ears. "When is your father retiring from the army?"

"He claims that after this contract is up, he's done. So about two years. Why?"

"That man's been about two years from retirement since the day before the universe was created."

"So it's all dad's fault you took off?"

"No, but…I wasn't happy. It was great in the beginning. I can't lie. When I met you dad," she chuckled and shook her head, "I fell hard. How could I not? Tall, dark, handsome, that deep voice, dark brown eyes-"

Angela covered her ears. "Okay, ew! When I said everything I didn't mean everything everything."

"We'll just say it was love at first sight for the both of us and leave it at that."

"I'd appreciate that."

"I loved your dad and the first few years were amazing, especially after you were born, but I didn't want to spend my life strictly being a wife and mother. I had dreams, things I wanted to accomplish and your dad knew that. It can feel so isolating, being a military wife. I couldn't make friends. I had a job, but how invested could I get in my students knowing I may not be their teacher very long? And I worried about you being raised without much consistency. I wanted you to have roots."

"Maybe I don't have roots, but I have vines that reach all around the world. I have more stamps in my passport by nineteen than most people will ever have in their lives."

She looked at the ground before meeting Angela's eyes, almost disappointed by how easily she parroted Alvin's lines about raising a kid in a nomadic lifestyle. "Your dad and I had a deal when we got married. He was about to sign a new contract, but he swore if I could hang with him and handle the moves for a few years and support his dreams it would be my turn. I didn't want to teach music. I wanted to make music and he said we'd settle down wherever would be best for my career."

"What happened?"

"They dangled promotions and raises in front of him. I could forgive one contract extension, one additional move, but somewhere along the way he seemed to think what was best for the family was whatever was best for him."

"Did you ever call him out on it?"

"I shouldn't have needed to remind him of promises he made me."

"So you resented him and he was clueless?" She could hardly call her mom out on being upset with dad. How often did she roll her eyes over his promises to retire? "Why didn't you just talk to him?"

"By the time I tried he was shipped off to the Persian Gulf. I was terrified for him because he was in an actual warzone this time. And when he came home hurt…" She covered her face briefly. Despite the way their marriage ended getting that phone call in the middle of the night was still one of the scariest moments of her life. "…I thought maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. I thought he'd take it as a sign to retire and slow down. I wasn't even thinking about my career at that point. I just wanted him to stay alive. But as soon as he could what did he do? He went right back. I fought him so hard on that, but his mind was made up and you know how he gets when his mind is made up. Talk about a Sisyphean Task."

Angela vaguely remembered her parents fighting not long before her mother left. She doesn't remember what the yelling was about, just that her father stormed out of the house and she found her mother in the bathroom. "Is that when you were crying in the bathroom?"

"We tried to save the arguing for when you weren't home, but yes."

"So you were pissed with dad and wanted your own life and decided to leave."

"That's a rather simplistic way to look at it."

"Not really. There's just one thing I don't understand."

"What?"

"Why didn't you take me with you?"