This one is a bit lighter than the past couple of chapters have been- minus the Cory and Topanga stuff. It's also very dialogue heavy which I'm never sure if that's good or bad. Either way, it is what it is, lol.
As always, thanks for your feedback to the previous chapter. I appreciate it. :-)
"So where did Topanga say to go?"
"She said her and Nebula's cabin was near the lake, behind a clearing of trees."
"Have you looked around, Cor? We're surrounded by nothing but trees! I'm telling you right now if we end up locked in some serial killer's basement, I'm gonna kill you."
"Wouldn't the serial killer get me before you have a chance?"
"I'll help him."
"How do you know it would be a him?"
He shook his head and muttered, "This would be the stupid way we die."
Cory looked around, for the first time realizing how isolated the area was. "Oh, I don't know about being here at night. There's that documentary coming out at the end of the month about those student filmmakers who went missing in the woods hunting a witch. I don't want us to be them."
"What the hell are you talking about? Witches? Have you been hanging around with Jack and Eric's neighbors? I'm all for believing whatever you want, but the second you try to sacrifice me-"
"The Blair Witch Project, Shawnie! You haven't seen the commercials or read the articles about it in the newspaper?"
"The TV in the trailer broke and the paper is full of bad news. Why would I read it?"
"Wait, there she is," he exclaimed and leaned out the passenger window, pointing. "There's Topanga!"
"Cory!" He tugged on his friend's shirt. He was practically hanging out the window like an overexcited golden retriever. "Get in here before you hit your head on a branch. I'm sure Jack's not insured for that." He approached the cabin and hadn't even put the car in park before Cory was out and on the porch with Topanga in his arms. Shawn couldn't help but notice that, while she looked happy to see them, she was decidedly not jumping for joy. "Cory, didn't your parents ever teach you not to get out of a moving car?"
But Cory didn't hear his best friend. His senses were on a Topanga overload: the familiar way she fit in his arms, the conditioner she used that made her smell like flowers, and he was sure if he kissed her right now he'd taste her favorite cherry lip balm. "Hi."
She hugged him tight in return. "Hi."
"I missed you so much."
Topanga pulled away from the hug and reached out for his hands. "I missed you, too."
"Sorry we're late. We got a little lost on the way."
"That's okay."
"You look-"
"Yes?"
"Beautiful. You look beautiful."
"Thank you." She looked over his shoulder and saw Shawn leaning against the hood. "Hi."
"Hi." She was different. He could pick that up right away. It wasn't just the clothes, which had a decidedly more hippie vibe, just like when they were kids. There was something else. He wasn't sure what it was, but he got the feeling it didn't mean good things for Cory. "You've got the crinkle-cut French fry thing going again."
"Huh?"
"Your hair."
Topanga picked up the ends of her crimped hair. "Yeah, I decided to try it out occasionally for the summer. It reminds me of simpler times."
"I love it," Cory declared.
"Uh-huh. Let me go see if Nebula is ready to go and then we all can-"
"All? I thought we were going to talk."
"We will, Cory, we will. I just thought it would be nice to get eat something first. You guys must be starving after a five-hour drive."
"But-"
"I know I am," Shawn spoke up.
"Topanga, we really need to-"
"And you will, Cory." Nebula exited their cabin and joined them on the porch. "What's the harm in a little food first?"
Before he could even argue Topanga walked away from him and moved to stand next to her sister. "Hi, Nebula. It's been a long time- a really long time. It's been…I've lost track of how many years long."
"About six years, yeah," she commented and rolled her eyes. "How have you been?"
"No more acne, which…you know…that's a good thing. And uh…I guess that growth spurt I had in '95 that made it possible for me to go on all the rides at the amusement park was pretty cool, too."
"Seriously? Acne and roller coasters?"
"Sorry, didn't know I had to have conversation topics ready to go. I'm here to talk to Topanga, not make pointless conversation."
"Nice thing to say to the person you want to be your sister-in-law."
He sighed, exasperated. Did he really drive five hours for this? "Topanga?"
"Let's eat first."
"And then we'll talk?"
"Yes, I promise."
"Okay," he relented. He was hungry and the smells that wafted out of the cabin when Nebula opened the door were pretty good. "We'll eat."
/
/
"Matthews' Wilderness Outpost. How can I help you?"
"Alan! It's Pete."
"Pete, what's going on? It's been too long."
"Oh, you know, same shit, different day."
"Tell me about it. So what can I do for you?"
"I was returning Eric's call about booking a room for the week after next. What's wrong, you guys getting tired of roughing it outside?"
"No, his girlfriend's never been camping before. They're starting with some hiking during the day and hotels at night."
"Wait a second, you mean the kid you've been bringing up here camping since before he could walk and talk, he's old enough to have a girlfriend?"
"Yep."
"We're talking about the same shaggy-haired little boy who insisted on fishing with gummy worms instead of real worms because the fish like those better? That one?"
"The same one, yeah."
"When the hell did we get so old?"
"I don't know about you, but for me it was around the time Morgan asked if she could invite girls and boys to her birthday party."
"Just wait until she comes home from college with tattoos."
"Molly or Becca?"
"What do you mean or?"
"Ugh. That hasn't happened with the boys. I could see Morgan being the one though."
"Yeah, daughters like to break our hearts and make us go bald a little quicker."
"Speak for yourself," Alan retorted. "Some of us still have all our hair."
"Fine, she'll make you go gray faster then."
"That I'll agree with."
"Anyway, I gotta get back to work. But let Eric know he's got the room."
/
/
"…and some of the relaxation seminars are really amazing. If you stay through the weekend maybe you can sit in on one."
"Sure."
Cory sipped his juice- some sort of pineapple, celery, and ginger concoction Topanga made- and attempted to follow the goings on around him. Though admittedly, he wasn't trying very hard. Topanga, Shawn, and Nebula were engaged in conversation about everything from the food to scenery to meditation to Shawn's job like this was any other Saturday. And maybe in another lifetime, it would be.
"Cory?"
Maybe there's an alternate reality where Nebula never left for parts unknown and abandoned her sister and her life.
"Cor?"
Then maybe Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence don't move to Pittsburgh a few years later. Yeah. Maybe that was the catalyst for everything to fall apart. Their eldest child ran away and threw their lives into chaos.
"Are you still with us?"
They left home and the people, careers, and surroundings they knew and loved. How could that end in anything but disaster? They would stay, remember they love each other, and not get divorced.
"Cory, honey, are you okay?"
And once all was again right in the world he and Topanga could have their happily ever after. It sounded like a good story to him.
"Cory!"
He nearly fell out of his chair and the glass of juice slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. "What the heck, guys?! Why are you yelling at me?"
"Because talking wasn't working."
"Yeah, you were massively spaced out."
"I was?"
"Very much so."
"Oh." He pushed the chair back and helped Nebula clean up the mess he made. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"Are you all right," Topanga asked, concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine. My mind wandered, that's all."
"To where, Pluto," Shawn retorted. He grabbed his arm when she hit him. "Ow, no hitting, Tippy!"
"Call me Tippy one more time and see what happens," she growled.
"Cory, she's doing the scary voice. Make her stop!"
Nebula shook her head. Nothing had changed, really. The three of them were older, but they were very much the same kids they were when she left. She wondered if either Topanga or Shawn realized how competitive they could be for Cory's attention. It was often subtle on both sides, so probably not, but still interesting to observe. "Finish your food, children."
The three of them turn their attention back to their plates with no further whining. Eventually, Cory spoke up. "This is pretty good pulled pork."
The sisters' eyes met and they smiled. "Should we tell them, Nebbie?"
"Tell us what?"
"I don't know, Tippy," she teased.
"You have to tell us now. Is it poison pork? Like…like mad pork?"
"Mad pork, Shawnie?"
"Yeah, you know- cousin to mad cow?"
"Why would they feed us something mad and eat it, too?"
Shawn snapped his fingers. "Because we wouldn't be expecting that, would we?"
"It's not poison!"
"Then what is it?"
"It's vegetarian."
"Huh?"
"Come again?"
"That's right. It's not barbecue pulled pork. You just ate barbecue pulled jackfruit."
"That's not meat?"
"It's fruit?"
The sisters nodded in unison. "We knew you'd never eat it if we told you first."
"Tricky."
"You both liked it though, right?"
"Maybe when I thought it was pork."
"Please, Shawn, that would be more convincing if you weren't two bites away from finishing your second sandwich."
He stared at his plate, not wanting to give the sisters the satisfaction, but the food was too damned good to waste. "Chet always warned me about you vegetarians."
"What about us," Nebula challenged.
"You're sneaky."
"Sneaky how?"
"Hello! Passing off fruit as meat?"
Cory rolled his eyes. He did not want to be dragged into some stupid debate. He wasn't here for that. The future of his and Topanga's relationship hung in the balance and he couldn't let a barbecued sandwich derail that. "Could you guys do this somewhere else?"
"Huh?"
"I really need to talk to my fiancee."
"Cory-"
"Fine, I need to talk and see if I still have a fiancee."
Topanga stared at the table for a few moments before she pushed her chair out and stood. She walked over to him and held out her hand. "Take a walk with me?"
He didn't know if it was good or bad that he didn't feel anticipation nor dread at her question. He simply took her hand. "Okay."
/
/
"…I wish I could've done more last year but they don't really let freshmen do much writing aside from some minor pieces so I was lucky to get the articles I did. But I'm trying out this year and hopefully I can land a more permanent spot."
"That sounds exciting. I remember a couple of the articles from the issues of the college paper Mr. Feeny would give to me. You're very good." Amy had been expecting Angela for dinner. She knew that she and Eric were coming over so Morgan could give whatever birthday gift she had, but she was surprised when the young woman turned up before she even started prepping. Then she remembered Eric mentioned her mother was in town and everything clicked. She wasn't sure if Angela intentionally sought her out, but she wasn't going to ask, and besides, she was happy to have the company. Her own kids certainly didn't come around to talk and help with dinner. "They'd be stupid not to put you on the staff."
"I hope they feel that way, too. And that they trust me enough to give me better stories. Then again anything has to be more interesting than the article I had to write about the new campus recycling bins last spring." Angela cut the top off of the last bell pepper and made there were no seeds left behind before she handed it over to Amy. She wasn't sure she'd ever had stuffed peppers before, but it sounded good. "If nothing else at least it will give me something I can put on a resume when I want to go out and look for a job. I can build my portfolio. I'll already have the experience of working at a paper."
"Is that what you want to do: be a reporter?"
"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I know I want to write. I've wanted to write for as long as I can remember. My major is journalism. But I haven't figured out exactly what I want to do with it yet. I love creative writing, too, but I want to do something that informs and makes a difference."
"I'm sure you'll find a way. But you're only nineteen. Don't rush yourself. You've got time to figure it out. That's what college is for." She started combining the ingredients that were to be stuffed into the peppers. "Just so long as you're prepared for life to throw curveballs at you, you'll be fine."
"That sounds like someone whose life didn't turn out how she thought it would."
Amy laughed and shook her head. "Not in the slightest. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but if teenage me saw my life now, she'd kick my butt."
"Why?"
"I'm not working at the Lourve, curating some important, ancient exhibit."
"Art history major?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"What happened?"
"Love. I met Alan, we fell in love and eloped after knowing each other for maybe a year. He wasn't on great terms with his family at the time and mine didn't think he was good enough for me," she explained. "So we eloped."
"How old were you when you got married?"
"Your age: nineteen."
"Wow."
"We were going to wait to have kids until after I was done with school and Alan's time in the Navy was up, but Eric happened despite all our precautions and planning. He was born a month after I turned twenty-one.
"I took a semester off after he was born and tried to go back part-time the next fall," she continued, "but it was just too much. Alan was away a lot, I was working at an art gallery to help us make ends meet, and Eric was a baby- by definition needy and demanding. Eventually, I burnt out and something had to give. I couldn't stop being a wife or mother and we needed my job for the bills. Unfortunately, school wound up on the chopping block." She went over to the fridge and took out a container of mushrooms. "I got into real estate after Cory was born. I didn't hate it. I made good money, but part of me wonders what would've happened if I would've been able to get my art history degree. I know I still wouldn't be in Paris, but-"
"You're not adding mushrooms to all the peppers, are you?" Angela hated to interrupt, but a mistake was about to be made.
"I was going to, why? You don't like mushrooms?"
"No, I love them, but Eric can't stand them."
"Are you sure? I think I'd remember that."
"He practically gags every time I order something with mushrooms and he told me when he was a kid he used to put them on Cory's plate when you weren't looking. If he didn't get a chance to put them on Cory's plate he'd shove the mushrooms in his pockets."
"Oh," Amy said, a lightbulb going off in her brain, "so those weren't slugs."
"What?"
"He used to tell me they were slugs when we'd clean out his pockets on laundry day. You never know what you're going to find in a little boy's pockets so I believed him. But now I know…mushrooms. That is so bizarre." She shrugged. "It just serves as a reminder to prepare myself to do little boy laundry again with Josh and searching those pockets."
"What's the strangest thing you ever found in one of their pockets?"
"They all had the typical rocks, candy, and bits of crayons. Morgan was usually chunks of Play-Doh, hair stuff, and glitter pens. Glitter everything. Oh, glitter is the absolute worst."
"And Eric and Cory?"
"They both packed toy cars in like they were opening their very own little Hot Wheels garage." She closed her eyes and tried to think back. "Cory always had a lightning bug or two on him."
"Ew. Really? Poor bugs."
"He'd catch them with Shawn and Topanga and bring them home to show me and Alan. Only he'd forget by the time he got home and I'd be the one to make the discovery on laundry day."
"What about Eric?"
"Aside from mushrooms- which was by far the strangest- I was always finding those little plastic rings from milk gallons or soda bottles."
"Why?"
"He didn't have an answer. He just liked them."
"Oh."
Amy finished filling the peppers and placed the tray into the oven. "What about you? What random things were in your pockets?"
"I always had a little notebook and pencil with me so I could write down any story or song idea I thought of. Come to think of it, I still carry a notebook with me everywhere I go," she admitted with a sheepish laugh. "I have one in my purse."
"That's not a bad thing. Better to jot it down while it's fresh in your mind than forget."
She nodded. "As far as weird things go- I picked up rocks and seashells, but I don't remember anything else. Whenever my dad was home I'd take part of his uniform, important parts like rank badges or his tags. Man, did he get mad when I'd take the tags."
"I can only imagine."
"Those are probably the only times he's yelled at me, like really yelled at me."
"Why did you do it if it made him mad?"
"I thought they wouldn't let him go back to work if he didn't have everything and I didn't want him to leave."
Amy came out from behind the counter and wrapped an arm around Angela's shoulders. "I'm sorry, sweetie."
She shrank away from the embrace just a little bit. "There's nothing to be sorry for. It's life. It's my life. It's how it was."
"Just because it's how something was that doesn't mean it was always the best thing."
Angela had barely begun to process everything that had gone down with her mother. She couldn't handle analyzing her father's actions at the moment. "Do we need a salad?"
"Excuse me?"
"For dinner….you guys usually have a salad. I can chop the vegetables if we need one."
Her attempts to change the subject were about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but Amy chose to let it go. "Sure, that would be great. You know where everything is. Go crazy."
/
/
Cory wasn't sure how long they walked for. It felt like hours. But eventually Topanga led him to a quiet area near a small pond and took a seat on a tree stump. "This is…nice."
"I love it here. It's probably my favorite spot in this whole place. I come here a lot to think."
He sat on the stump beside her. "And what do you think about?"
"My parents, you, me, us, my family, our futures…everything."
"And?"
"I keep reliving different parts of my life to try and see if I can pinpoint the moment it all went wrong for my parents. Was there an anniversary where their eyes didn't shine as bright? An I love you they said just because they felt they had to? A kiss that happened out of habit instead of passion."
"Topanga-"
"I keep searching. I've gone over my whole life with a magnifying glass and I just don't see it." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "My parents don't love each other anymore and I don't know why."
He reached for her hands and held on tight, running his thumb over where her engagement ring usually sat. "I'm sorry."
"Nebbie doesn't seem surprised. She's never been surprised. It was like she expected this someday."
"Why?"
"I haven't asked." She watched a goose on the other side of the water, minding its own business, searching for food. "It's been nice to be here with her though. I didn't realize how much I missed my sister until I saw her again."
"Yeah, I suppose I'd miss Eric if he went AWOL for six years, too. Did she at least tell you where she was?"
"She's been on quite the journey."
Cory shifted in his seat, torn between letting Topanga get this out at a snail's pace and ending his misery. "Do you still want to marry me?" Okay, so his mouth didn't always listen to his brain. That was nothing new.
"I don't know."
That was not the answer he had been expecting. "What?"
"I don't know."
"We're engaged." He vacated the stump and fell to his knees in front of her. "We're supposed to be planning our wedding."
She shook her head. "It's complicated."
"It's not. Not really." He cradled her face in his hands and looked her in the eye. "I love you and you love me. There's nothing complicated about that. That's a given. You know how people say there are two certainties in life? For me there are three: death, taxes, and you and I are meant to be together."
"Stop," she whispered. 'Please."
"You do love me right?"
"Don't."
"If we love each other, all the other crap just fades away. It's not important."
She removed his hands from her face and stood to put some distance between them. "Cory, I love you."
He smiled. "See how easy that was?"
"But I can't be in love with you right now."
"What does that mean?"
"I thought my parents had a fairytale life. I thought we did, too, and that we'd continue it onto the next generation."
"We still can."
She shook her head. "If my parents can't make it-"
"We're not them. We're us."
"Maybe we were just kidding ourselves."
"Stop it."
"Look around you. Look at the statistics. Numbers don't lie. Maybe true love…maybe it's not so true. How many couples break up every day? Hundreds? Thousands?"
"They don't matter. They're not important. We're not them. We're Cory and Topanga. We're special. We have been in love since we were two. You remember the sandbox and monkey bars."
"Have we?"
"What?"
"I know we laugh and joke about it, but we didn't really play or hang out together much until sixth grade. If we did before that it was because we were hanging out with other kids in on the block, too. It was never just us."
"Because Eric told me girls had cooties and I believed him."
"We didn't have our first date until high school."
"Slow and steady wins the race. Why rush?"
"We broke up and got back together multiple times. We dated other people."
"Meaningless footnotes in our story. We overcame life's adversity."
"And then Lauren…"
Cory ran his hands over his hair, frustrated. "Never gonna live that down, am I," he muttered. "You told me to go out with her."
"And you did."
"Topanga, what are we doing here? In the end we're stronger than all this garbage life has thrown at us."
"When did you fall in love with me?"
"Is this a trick question? At the park, when we were little."
"No, I mean for real, not in the fantasy life we created because it sounds good. When did you really know?"
He wracked his brain in a desperate attempt to give her what she wanted, but came up empty. "Loving you is like breathing for me. It's essential for living. I can't pick out a single moment because there is none. The moment I fell in love with you my whole world became engulfed in your light. Past, present, and future: you have it all."
"I can't remember when I fell in love with you either. All I know is a fabricated story in a sandbox. And if we have had to create such an elaborate lie to make ourselves special to the point even we don't remember the truth, how strong are we?"
"It's not-"
"My mom always told me when she met daddy it was love at first sight. Sure, they were at a Pink Floyd concert so I'm sure their vision was impaired by other things, but she said when she looked into his eyes she felt the universe shift and she knew she'd die without him. Daddy said the same thing."
"That's a beautiful story."
"It is, except for the fact that the people who swore they'd die without the other can no longer stand to be in the same room together."
"But that's them."
"Right. And I'm saving us from having to live through the same thing."
"What are you saying?"
"If my parents can fall apart then anyone can. I can't be in love, not with you or anyone."
"You're wrong. Hiding from us won't do anything."
She took a deep breath and tried not to get frustrated with him. She's had a while to prepare herself for this moment, he hasn't. "I'll be back at school in a few weeks. I hope we can still be friends."
"Friends," he asked, incredulous. "You want to be my friend?"
"If you'll let me."
"Are you ever going to be able to be in love with me again?" He couldn't believe he was asking the question, but he was clawing for any glimmer of hope he could get his hands on.
"I don't know." She stared at the ground. Despite believing this was the best thing for both of them, it killed her to see how much she was hurting him right now. "I'm sorry, Cory."
He pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, and held on for dear life. "I know."
/
/
"Do you have any idea what this present is that Morgan has for me," Angela asked Amy. "Because she seems super excited about it and that makes Eric nervous."
"She is strangely excited about it. But no, I'm sorry, I don't have any idea. I can try to get it out of her before dinner if you want."
"I still don't see what the big deal was," Alan said to Eric as they came in through the back door. "Pete called to confirm your reservation and I took the message."
"I get that, but I'm an adult. Pete should've called back to talk to me. I don't need my vacation plans to be approved by my daddy."
"You're reading way too much into this. In Pete's eyes, you're always going to be the four-year-old trying to catch fish with gummy worms."
"I'm not four years old anymore. I'm a grown-up," he stated at the same time he slapped his hand down on the counter. "Owie." He held his hand out to Angela. "Kiss?"
She shook her head and smiled before she kissed his palm. "There. Better?"
"As better as I'm going to get with the parents around, but it'll do for now." He slid into a chair next to his girlfriend. "I got the hotel room for our trip so we've got the best of both worlds: the great outdoors during the day and indoor plumbing at night."
"Eric, you have some explaining to do."
"Mommy, I'm twenty-one years old and going on vacation with my girlfriend. I'm paying for it with my own money so there's nothing you can say about it."
"It's not that."
"Then what?"
"Why didn't you ever tell me you hate mushrooms?"
This was it. This was going to be the day that broke his brain. It wasn't going to be algebra or English essays or studying for finals. He was going to be undone by his own parents. The betrayal! "…what?"
"Do you like mushrooms? Because a very reliable source informed me you didn't."
"I…no…can't stand them. Never have."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I don't know."
"I understand putting them on Cory's plate, that's typical sibling stuff. But in your pockets? Why lie and tell me they were slugs?"
He glared at Angela, who seemed very amused. "Gee, I wonder who your source was."
"Hey, I only said something to save you from having to eat mushrooms tonight."
"I don't get it, honey. Why not say something? We were never the parents who made you kids eat what you hated. You had to try it, but that was all we asked."
"Honestly, mom, I don't remember. I was a kid. Kids do dumb stuff. I was probably trying to sneak them up for my ant farm."
"That damn ant farm," Alan grumbled. That supposedly easy hobby had cost a fortune to rid from the house.
"Mom, where's the bouncy chair," Morgan asked when she came into the kitchen holding her baby brother. "Josh is over peek-a-boo. He keeps trying to bite my hand."
"Poor little baby is teething. That's what they do."
"Can I stick him in the bouncy chair in here? I'm sure he'd love to watch you cook."
"Morgan, I don't think a little help with your brother is too much to ask for while I cook your dinner, is it?"
"I guess not. Sorry."
"Thank you. His teething toy is in the freezer. That should help."
Her mood brightened when she spotted Angela and Eric sitting at the table. "Great, you guys are here." She promptly deposited the baby in her older brother's lap. "So, Angela, do you want your present now or after dinner?"
She looked at Eric, who already looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole. "After dinner works for me."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. Patience is a virtue."
"Since when are you running for sainthood?"
"Be nice, Weasel."
"Mom, how long until dinner?"
"Probably twenty minutes. But we have to wait for Mr. Feeny and Dean Bolander. He gave me the excess bell peppers from his garden so it was only right to invite them."
Eric wasn't thrilled with the prospect of more witnesses to whatever plot Morgan was hatching, but he hardly saw Feeny anymore since he got himself a wife and he missed the old guy. "Come on, Josh." He stood and adjusted the baby in his arms. "Let's go watch the Phillies until dinner is ready. They just snapped a four-game losing streak so things are looking up."
"There you go," Alan said, trailing after his sons, "we've got to start this hopeless optimism early."
/
Dinner was over and everyone was finishing up the dessert of strawberry pie when Morgan looked at Angela. "Now?"
"Since you've been dancing in your chair all right, sure."
"Yes!" She jumped up and raced for the stairs. "I'll be right back."
"What's going on," Lila asked. "Am I missing something?"
"It's nothing. Morgan has a belated birthday gift for me, that's all."
"No," Eric said, shaking his head, "that's not all. She's out to get me."
"Eric-"
"No, I'm telling you, that Weasel is up to something."
"You're overreacting."
"But remember our deal: you still love me no matter what dirt she's dug up."
Before Angela could assuage his fears, the sounds of music filled the air. It was angry and the voice that accompanied it was equally aggressive.
Eric's head fell to his plate. "Minor chords," he whined.
"What? What's going on? Who's singing?"
Morgan set her boombox on the table. "You mean Eric never told you about Corinna?"
"Who's Corinna?"
"A psycho," he exclaimed, raising his head from the plate, bits of pie stuck to his face. "Weasel, you're going to pay for this."
She laughed. "Totally worth it."
Angela was still lost. "What does Eric have to do with Corinna and the song?"
"She wrote it about him after he broke her heart. It played on the radio."
"What?!"
"Only because of her uncle! Stupid Uncle David," he muttered.
"She made a whole album." Morgan handed over a copy. She'd been hanging on to extras for just this occasion. "Shallow Boy was the hit, but Loser Freak is my personal favorite."
Angela read the back of the CD case. "Shallow Boy, Loser Freak, Eric Matthews You're So Vain You Probably Didn't Know the Song Before This Was About You, You Oughta Know (But You Probably Don't), Eric Matthews You Give Love a Bad Name, You Left Me Bleeding on Love's Battlefield-" She looked at her boyfriend, bewildered. "How long were you together?"
"We weren't."
"What?"
"I took her out to lunch because she was chasing business away from the store. We literally spent one afternoon together. That's all. She started talking about how we were soulmates and wouldn't stop talking about some dumb goldfish."
"Oh, that girl," Alan exclaimed. "Yeah, her elevator didn't go all the way to the penthouse."
"Alan!" Amy nudged him in the ribs. "That's horrible."
"I'm sorry, would you prefer her hamster fell off the wheel?"
"How did she get so angry with you in one afternoon?"
"That's where the psycho part comes in." He turned to his sister. "Weasel, why are you doing this to me?"
"Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for the day I could show this off to a girlfriend."
"Did I not treat you well? I bought you things when you were little. I let you tag along on my dates. I don't deserve this."
"Like you don't threaten to tell embarrassing stories about me whenever I start dating?"
"Definitely count on that happening now." He was horrified when Angela started to nod along to the melody. "Hey!"
"What? I'm sorry. It-it's catchy."
"Traitor."
She chuckled. "I can't believe got someone to hate you this much."
"Really?"
"Do you like your gift," Morgan asked her.
"I'll get back to you."
"I know your shifty code phrases for yes."
Angela scooted her chair closer, wrapped her arms around him, and laid her head on his shoulder. "Look at it this way: you got someone to hate you this much in one afternoon. That's impressive."
"If this is the feel better portion of tonight's program, you gotta go back to the drawing board."
"What I mean is you brought out this much emotion, this much passion."
"Passionate, vengeful rage, but sure."
"You still inspired it. That just shows how irresistible you are."
Hmmm. He'd never looked at it that way before. "Really?"
"Really." For a few seconds she forgot they were not alone and leaned in for a kiss.
"Gross."
"Sorry, Morgan, I love my Shallow Boy." She picked up and napkin and cleaned the dessert off of his face.
"Could you not call me that? That's not good for my self esteem and might be a worse pet name than Pookie."
"Right. Sorry."
He looked over the CD. "I suppose this is a pretty unique tribute album."
"Eric, have you told Angela about your other venture into pop culture?"
"What are you talking about Feeny?"
"That dating game show you went on?"
Angela stared at him, eyes wide. "You were on TV?"
"What was it called," Mr. Feeny continued, "Shut Out?"
"Wait, you mean Singled Out? You were on Singled Out?"
Oh, yes, when he was feeling low and desperate he lied to countless people. Why wouldn't he want to relive that? "E tu, Feeny?"
"It's nice to see you were paying attention at some points during history class."
"Yeah, to the betrayal! Me and Little Caesar are in the same boat: two guys with no friends. And nobody had better expect us to share our pizza."
*I know used the whole Corinna/Shallow Boy/Singled Out reveals in Where You Least Expect It, but they're simply too good not to use against Eric again, lol. (And obviously I added a few titles to round out Corinna's album...just because. ;-) )