Like usual, Yamada-sensei's absence is felt the moment he leaves.
What I don't expect is the strange hole from Aizawa-sensei's as well.
Without his calming presence, I don't… I don't immediately know what to do.
I try to pretend like he's in his room, but it doesn't quite work. The knowledge that he isn't feels like a physical weight, like a pressure in my chest that builds and…
And what if he doesn't come back?
That's stupid. He lives here. Of course, he'll come back.
I twist at my fingers and try to pretend I don't care.
Instead, I distract myself on the couch, sprawling out with my phone in hand and opening up my contacts. I text Shinsou first, sending him a hello almost automatically and waiting for a reply.
I frown when nothing comes.
Shinsou-kun?
I message Kirishima instead.
Hi. How are you today?
Rin-chan! Hey! I'm so pumped for school! My Mom and I are going out this afternoon to buy furniture for my dorm room. Are you excited to move in?
I relax a little at his near-immediate response, flipping back to Shinsou to check again that he didn't send anything.
He didn't.
I guess?
I pause and wonder what to add. When I can't think of anything, I just press send, shrugging it off and trying to ignore the tight feeling still knotting in my stomach.
You're already there, aren't you? Comes his quick response. I flush guiltily.
Yeah.
Dude, that's gotta be so weird having Sensei be your parent! I mean, it's super manly of him to adopt you when he didn't have to, but like, he was your teacher first right?
I smile and relax a little, hearing his voice in my head as I read the text.
He was, but he's not my parent. He's my guardian, so it's not weird. Sensei is really nice.
Oh? Yeah? That's awesome! I bet you two get to train a lot too! I'm so jealous! I get Bakugou to train with me sometimes, but I couldn't imagine getting to work with Sensei one-on-one every day. It's no wonder you kick ass!
I flush and scratch my cheek, embarrassed and amused by the praise.
I guess? I message him giggling slightly. Not that Sensei did that much training with me. He hadn't even really worked with me at all on my quirk until after the whole beach fiasco. He makes me do math worksheets most of the time.
Math! Kirishima writes, along with a crying emoji.
I'm really bad at it..., I type out rolling my eyes.
I blink when a meme appears a few moments later, a guy in casual clothes with his mouth dropping comedically wide. I snort, letting our conversation continue for a few more minutes before sighing broadly. It's probably not right, but I just stop replying, not really sure how else to end it.
Kirishima doesn't seem to mind, another meme appearing on my screen of a ridiculously muscled man saluting a goodbye.
I hope he doesn't think that's him…
With Kirishima, it's always kind of hard to tell.
I huff and cross my arms, flicking back over to Shinsou's message.
Still no reply. I stare at it worriedly.
Are… Are you okay? I type out.
I close my eyes and breathe when he still doesn't type back, uncomfortable with the thoughts slowly crowding to the surface.
Is he okay?
Could something have happened?
Should I call?
I don't, not wanting to interrupt him if he's busy.
Busy doing what?
I have no idea. I climb to my feet, dislocating Miska from my back with a muffled groan. I wander the apartment, pacing in my room, giving up, returning to the living room, and then moving to the kitchen. I take the time to go through each and every cabinet, looking curiously for something and nothing all at the same time.
If Sensei were here, he'd have a fit.
Go entertain yourself. Quietly.
I open the freezer and wrinkle my nose, glowering at all the stupid frozen vegetables filling the space. I've never met anyone that could eat the same bland food every day with no seasoning. Did his parents not ever cook?
They're also both dead. They passed away when I was twenty.
I close the freezer door gently and scratch at my arm, even more uncomfortable than before my conversation with Kirishima.
Maybe I should text someone?
I glance at my phone again, pulling up Shinsou's message, and trying not to fret at the fact that it isn't even read. He always reads it. Always. Sometimes, I've sent him messages at two or three in the morning and he's read them, though he doesn't always text back.
Why isn't he now?
Is he okay?
Could someone have captured him?
What if Asp-
My thoughts grind to an uncomfortable halt as my eyes fill with tears.
Kaito.
I shake, trying to physically dislodge the thought in the silence. It's almost maddening.
"We should do something," I tell Miska, stepping out of the kitchen to stare at the kitten scratching herself in the open space between the kitchen, living room, and dining space.
She looks up and meows.
Like what?
I glance around again, pacing towards my room, and pause. Sensei's door, like usual, remains shut and I freeze at the sight of it.
I want to see what's inside it.
The thought feels so naughty, I instantly shiver in excitement. While I'd been close enough to catch glimpses before, I'd never actually been in it.
That is not a good idea.
He won't even notice.
I smile mischievously, thankful to feel anything besides that prickling, knotting emotion creeping through my chest.
Even knowing he's not here, I still creep towards the door. It wasn't like he'd ever told me explicitly I couldn't go in.
He's never suggested you couldn't either.
I bury the thought, twisting the door handle. It opens easily, slipping open, and I pause at the emptiness beyond.
You've gotta be kidding me…
It looks like an empty room with the same wooden floors as the rest of the house, the same simple walls, and a large window with the dorm blinds already hanging from them. Except, unlike the rest of the apartment, his room looks stark in comparison. There's no dresser, no lamp, no anything really except a simple bed in the corner, an empty desk with nothing on it, and a closet that looks barely filled.
I scowl and step further in, eyes narrowing at the blandness.
This is ridiculous.
It has even less than my room at the foster homes! It has less than we did at Mama's!
Shouta can afford everything we've collected. His house is bare because he doesn't want stuff, not because he can't buy it.
I palm my face and shake my head.
He's so boring.
His room looks like his vegetables.
I turn, completely disappointed by the space before I notice a slight gleam in his partially opened closet. Curious, I step forward again, pushing the folding doors open. I still. Built into the closet is a simple dresser, and on the smooth surface is a stack of manilla folders and the thing that caught my eye.
A picture frame.
I lean forward, unable to stop myself, and pick it up, surprised at the weight. It's heavier than I expected, with a simple silver frame and a wooden peg in the back to keep it upright. The thing is barely as long as my hand, but what surprises me isn't the strange fact that the only personalized thing he owns is hidden away in his closet.
It's the picture inside.
Because… Because it's me.
The day after the final exam, the picture Shinsou took on his phone when I showed him my glowing cat ears and did that silly pose. His phone could barely capture the glow, making look more like a haloed effect on my head, but…
But why is it in his closet?
Why is it in a frame?
I set it down and glance over, curious to find anything else important.
I do.
A second capture weapon sits curled towards the back.
I can't help myself.
I reach out and touch it, fingers brushing across the smooth fabric strong enough to stop villains. It's thicker than I expect and heavier. I pull it closer and, acting on a whim, pick it up.
I nearly drop it in surprise.
"Jeez Sensei," I grouch, lugging it up to inspect. The thing weighs a ton! If I, maybe put it around my neck, it's only because trying to keep it anywhere else would be insane!
I dash from Sensei's room and grin at myself in the mirror, giggling when my skin lights up brightly and cat ears pop out from beneath my hair,
You look ridiculous.
I make a face, expression twisting to annoyance and trying to make my eyes droop like Sensei's. It doesn't quite work, especially when fireflies start flickering across my cheeks.
"Meow?"
I glance down at Miska and giggle.
"Not quite right, huh?"
Squinting at the mirror, I scratch at my chin before pausing.
What if I drew a mustache and beard…
"No," I interrupt myself, crossing my arms. "I won't have time to take it off…"
I check my reflection again, liking the way capture weapon bundles across my neck, the way it hides the scars that freckle that area, and this time I pause at my hair.
What if…
I pull the tie from the end of my braid and scatter the dark strands messily, musing it all until it cascades in waves and pulling a few pieces fall between my eyes.
Better, but….
I purse my lips and breathe deeply. Sensei could make his float.
I consider it before, hesitantly, dragging my shadows to the surface. They move sluggishly, almost as if confused, and twitch into thick black tentacles around my arms. It doesn't take much to have them move towards my neck instead.
It takes a couple of tries, but on the fifth or sixth attempt, I scowl at the mirror and nearly grin when my hair floats up above me.
I only just manage to snap a picture before the shadows completely disperse, drowned out by my joy and-
My phone rings loudly.
I squeak in alarm, scrambling to the living room.
Guardian crosses the main screen, a grumpy cat picture flashing with a green button at the bottom.
Oh no.
I hesitate, guilt and confusion stirring in my stomach, before Sensei's rule repeat in my head. Answer if I call or text.
Oh no, oh no, oh no…
Did he know?
How could he? The baby monitor? I hadn't checked it before he left… was it on? Was I caught?
Probably not!
It's fine, answer it!
I hesitate again and then remember that it won't keep ringing and hurriedly press the phone at the bottom and slide it across. Sucking in a breath, partially terrified I'm too late, I pause for a long moment.
"Rin?"
I let out another squeak.
Get it together!
"Sensei! Oh, uh, hi! What's um… what's… yes?"
There's a pause again, except this time on his side, and I wince.
Crap. Act natural!
"I mean, um, hi Sensei!"
"What are you doing?" he asks, his voice dropping and I can already imagine the scowl.
"I… I was just busy. Entertaining myself! Hi Sensei, are you coming home now?"
"Do I need to?" he asks sourly.
"No!" I whine. "I'm fine! You can, uh… do whatever. Cause you're an adult, and uh… yeah."
"She sounds super guilty," laughs Yamada-sensei's familiar voice in the background.
"Rin," my guardian repeats again, nearly growling. "What have you done?"
"Nothing! I was just bored! I'm being good, I promise!" I pause and frown. "Why are you calling? Are you okay? Is it Shinsou? Have you heard from him? Is he okay? He wasn't answering his phone when I texted him and I did get kind of worried—but not enough to need you! I just entertained myself! You don't think it's-"
Asp?
I break off and swallow.
Kaito.
"He's fine, he's taking a test. Our meeting is supervisory, and the students aren't allowed their phones. Rin, I am trusting you to follow directions and make good decisions. If I find out you've broken any of the rules, you will be grounded. Do you understand?"
I twitch.
"I-I haven't broken a rule!"
From the length of the pause, I can tell Sensei does not believe that. I sigh noisily.
"I haven't!"
"I'm about to return. I will check on you again. I suggest whatever you've done, you go undo it."
"Yes, sir," I grumble moodily.
He snorts and hangs up and I glower at the phone before putting it down.
I'm so grounded.
Thumbing the smooth fabric of Sensei's capture weapon, I reluctantly pull it from my head, dropping it on the couch.
.
.
.
Three hours is a long time with no one but Miska and my thoughts.
After returning Sensei's things I sleep for a while, only to be woken by Sensei's second call. I think he felt bad for waking me, 'cause he doesn't call again.
I sigh and text him a picture of Miska on the couch.
We're all still alive.
His response, while not immediate, comes several seconds later.
I would prefer you be a little better than just alive.
Part of me wants to ask him if that's why he keeps a picture of me in a frame, but I don't. Instead, I send a quick yes sir and stare up at the ceiling of our new home, mind wandering.
Everyone's going to move in soon.
Everyone but Mineta.
I wonder if anyone else knows.
I wonder if Kaito knows. I wonder if he even cares about what he did.
"What happened to you?" I whisper out loud, eyes filling with tears. His face flashes in my mind's eye again, dark eyes the same color as my own, dark hair long and loose against his head, and discolored skin creeping up from his jaw. That and the flash of the knife feels so at odds with the boy of my memories, cross-legged on the floor with a book open and pointing out pictures.
He wore glasses back then, thick round ones that were often smudged with fingerprints and that made his eyes appear that much larger.
I remember the way he sat behind me and braided my hair, whispering silly stories about the silly quirks in his class.
I remember when he'd fuss at Sora for being mean, arms crossed and eyes narrow. Ryu would shove him sideways, growl out something about stop being a baby, and everything would devolve into a wrestling match with both of them rolling on the ground.
But mostly, I remember that he always tried to be good.
"One day they'll like me because of me," Kaito admitted quietly, fingers twisting deftly through my hair the way they did every night. "I don't wanna ruin it like Ryu."
"But I like you."
"You like everyone stupid," Sora huffed, glaring. "Ryu's got the right idea! I'm gonna be so strong one day no one will ever mess with me!"
I remember turning, remember taking in my older brother's tight expression and pressing small hands to his face. I couldn't have been more than seven or eight and even then, he looked worn. Worn like Mama, with sad eyes and a thin face.
Did I get it all wrong?
Did… Did I misremember?
But his face… The mask… Why?
Why did he hate me?
I pull myself from the bed and shuffle to my desk, pulling out paper and pen and sitting down.
Both of your brothers were detained to answer questions. Neither were determined to have any knowledge or involvement in Kaito's criminal activities, though your youngest brother, Sora, was determined to need medical attention after everything. We learned that Kaito was involved with dangerous people to the last of their knowledge, but none of them have been in touch for the past three years.
Dangerous people, like where he got the drug?
I drag the pen across the paper, watching the blackness bleed against the white.
Kaito. Dangerous people.
Underneath I write the simple kanji for Ryu and Sora's names.
I stare at it for a long moment.
What are you doing?
I crumple the sheet angrily and hold my head.
"You killed them," I snarl to no one, suddenly furious. "You had my address when I wrote you and you came and you tried to kill them! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I throw back my chair and throw the papers to the floor, watching them scatter and wanting nothing more than to burn them. I want to burn him. How dare he! I haven't seen him in years, haven't heard from him since he told me to fuck off and now he thinks he can come back and blame me?
"You stupid fucking asshole-"
I go off for as long as I can, offering up as many curses as I can as I pace my room. Without Sensei there, I don't hold back. I snarl and kick at everything, calling him every horrid name I know and making some up just to satisfy the vicious anger in my chest.
"I'm gonna find you," I growl suddenly, the flame beneath my skin burning so hot my skin smokes. I snatch a paper from the floor, spread the crumpled page across my desk, and seize my pen. I write Asshole at the top and beneath it drag the ink in a vicious line that nearly tears the paper. "I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna make you stop and get you help and you're never gonna hurt my guardian or my friends ever again."
I jerk my pen down and start a list of questions.
"First, when did part of your stupid face get melted off?" I ask as I write.
No one answers, but it's fine. I make a tick mark underneath it and keep going.
Who were the dangerous people you joined?
Who gave you the liquid to take away quirks?
Where did you get the poison candles?
As I write, it's almost like a weight slips from my shoulders. The questions spill out faster and faster.
How do you know the doctor from the beach?
How were you able to fly?
Who taught you how to fight like that?
Why are you with the League of Villains?
Why are you after me?
How did I ruin your life?
I pause at the last one and glare. I cross it out.
Who broke your stupid brain?
My list covers the front and back of the paper before it devolves into me just writing insults across it. I glare, look at my floor and the large amount of paper scattered across it, and then glare at that too.
Sensei's gonna have a fit if he sees that.
I sigh noisily and start picking them up, my mind still on my brother and his stupidity. Why did it have to be Kaito though? Ryu I could understand. Sora would even make sense, but Kaito?
Why?
It only takes a few minutes to clean the mess. I don't stand afterward, instead stretching out across the floor and staring up at the ceiling. The millions of little bumps that cover it blur as I do. Tears seeping out the corner of my eyes.
I wish I could ask.
I wish Sensei were back.
I want a hug.
I pull the phone from my pocket and click on his contact, the grumpy cat that glowers back as his profile pic making me smile a little. I hit the message button and type out a short, I miss you.
The little checkmark that says "read" appears near instantly. It takes a few minutes longer before he responds though.
I'll be home in an hour. If you want, you can make dinner. Be sure to set out three plates.
I still as I read the message and frown.
The guest?
I… I thought that was Aunt Nemuri and Yamada-sensei.
Yes sir, I type back, pulling myself to my feet.
Sensei's extra capture weapon is still on the couch. I pull it on, breathing in the familiar smell of Sensei as I wrap it around my neck.
"Guess it's time to put you up," I sigh, patting the weighty fabric fondly.
Pushing open Sensei's door, I rewind the capture weapon neatly and place it back on his built-in dresser. I glance again at the picture, pausing for a moment to stare. Only for my eyes to follow to the stack of folders beside it.
Curiously, I reach out.
A stranger's face peers back. Strangely mutated, with a rock-shaped head and overly large eyes. His skin, despite the deformity, is pasty pale, without any eyebrows or hair at all that I can see. Beneath it, the words Kouji Koda are written clearly. Quirk: Anivoice.
It takes a moment to realize what it is.
Mineta's potential replacements.
I scowl and grab another, opening to a green-haired girl, and another, a boy with cheetah skin, another with a mutation quirk, a boy with all-black eyes. I glare down at them all angrily, furious when I notice the highlighted material. This is what Sensei was working on?
Replacements?
I want to snarl.
It hadn't even been a week!
Reaching for the bottom of the stack, I grab for the last file, barely noticing its thickness as opposed to the others. Except... Except it's not a potential replacement at all. I blink down at a list, handwritten and marked over in Sensei's quick scrawl. Update the quirk database. Locate the birth certificate. Interview potential therapists. Several are crossed and even more are in written in different colored inks, like he'd written it all out and had to update recently.
I flip past it to the next page.
My breath catches in my throat.
Covered in a laminate seal is an adoption record. I recognize it instantly, Sensei's signature at the bottom along with mine and Yamada-sensei's.
Revenant, I press my thumb across my name.
He did all that for me?
Kid, Shouta has done that and more for you.
I stare. Then, with physical effort, turn the page. There's another laminated sheet behind it, this one I hadn't seen before. My name is featured across the top, Hoki Rin, with the name of my parents and what looks like a date of birth on the bottom.
I turn the page again, eyes lingering on Kanji I hadn't seen for years.
Mama. Daddy.
The next document, strangely, has Mama's name again.
Except...
Except it doesn't make any sense.
I snap the folder close, shaking.
Staring blankly at the pile of folders, I hurriedly stuff them away. Unable to stop the chatter of my teeth or the horrid emotions rising in my throat. I shove them all back where I found them, knocking over Sensei's picture and roughly righting it back.
Hoki Ishi.
Mama.
I slam the door as I leave.
Pronounced dead February 23
Probable cause: heart attack