A/N: another chapter already?! I know, I know, I'm spoiling you all! But honestly, I'm on a roll, I cannot wait to write the next chapter!
-oOo-
It had been one week since Hermione stood up for Reggie, Severus Snape, and a few other Slytherins to the Marauders, and in that week not one day went by that she didn't yell at them.
She wasn't even just defending the Slytherin's anymore. No, she was arguing with them every time she saw them, because every time she saw them, they were pulling some stupid prank. Lily Evans was there with her yelling at the boys, using her prefect status to try and punish them, but for the most part, she and Lily just argued with the boys.
Lily's favourite insult was 'toe-rag', she wasn't sure what it meant but she recalled hearing muggle children using it when arguing with each other. Hermione preferred to just refer to them as immature arseholes, which they were. Sirius Black would always smirk and flirt with Hermione when she would argue with him, but she would just scoff at him, tell him to shove off and find one of his fangirls.
Hermione told herself she was arguing with them because they were being immature, which they were, that she was standing up for the other students, but really, she was just wanting human interaction. Barty had been avoiding her, he wouldn't admit to it, told her she was being ridiculous when she called him out on it, and then he ran off not to be seen again until the next day in class. She was confused, lonely, and missed her friends.
She only had two friends, two people she interacted with and spoke with daily. Without them she was only speaking in class or when she yelled at the Marauders. While she stood by Lily Evan's side, the older witch never spoke to Hermione, she would smile and walk away. It was to the point Hermione was speaking to her cat each morning just to use her voice before he lessons so it wouldn't crack from being used for the first time while in front of everyone.
Hermione McCallister was lonely and frustrated, letting out a deep sigh she began packing up her books in the library. She felt the angry tears building in her eyes as she put her books in her bag and clenched her teeth in hope of stopping them. It was no use, she was lonely and alone, abandoned by her friends, one 'for her good' and one without reason. Why was she being punished? Why did she have to be born in a different world and constantly suffering for it? Why couldn't she have friends that stood by each other no matter what?
The Marauders were best friends, and nothing seemed to change that. Not even Lupin's condition. If three boys could accept him for being a werewolf and stick beside him in a time of war when they were being recruited, why were her friends leaving her alone for her status?
They want to protect her? How can they protect her from afar? Wouldn't they be better beside her? Closer and able to protect her when she needed it?
Hermione knew she wasn't being fair to her friends with her thoughts, but she was a teenage girl experiencing changing hormones and emotions, with a brain constantly developing and maturing. Not that she was thinking that rationally, no she was just feeling the emotions that were rushing through her. The loneliness and darkness that would cloud her mind back in her parent's home, locked in her room, ignored for being alive.
Hermione finished packing her bag with trembling fingers and left the library, intending to run to Ravenclaw tower and curl up in a ball on her bed. She didn't often let the sadness consume her, she would push through and continue but today she felt nine years old again, when her parents stopped speaking to her. Stopped loving her.
Hermione ran down the corridors, her eyes down towards the ground, still trying to contain her tears. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the laughing boys walking towards her, not until she was walking straight into the chest of one of them.
An overwhelming scent of leather, sandalwood, and smoke surrounded her after crashing into the body. She looked up into the molten silver eyes of Sirius Black.
'Of course, it's Sirius Black, who else would it be now of all times?' she thought to herself.
"Black," she said as she stepped back and tried to step around Sirius and his friends. However, Sirius hands were on her shoulders, holding her gently at arms length.
"All right there, McCallister?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. She looked up at him and saw his features pulled into a frown as he looked her over and saw the tears in her eyes, and her dejected posture.
"Just dandy, now if you don't mind," she said tightly, trying to hold in the tears. Him just asking if she was okay nearly broke her, it was almost like he cared. However, Sirius Black did not care about girls. No, he enjoyed them.
"If you're sure," he said slowly, sounding reluctant to let her go. He wanted to make her stay and talk to him, but who was he to demand that? He wasn't her friend, as much as he would like to be.
"Quite," she said evasively, reverting to some of the lessons her mother taught her. Her tone made Sirius frown further, he knew that tone, it was the one pureblood women used when they were angry but didn't want to talk about it, did muggle women do the same or did Reggie teach her some pureblood lessons?
Hermione dashed off quickly away from the boys and spent her evening in her bed with Crookshanks. She thought about how to talk to Barty, her interactions with the Marauders and Lily Evans, the Slytherins, and most of all the concern on Sirius Black's face. She didn't want to delude herself into the thought he even thought about her as anything but the annoying witch that bothered him and his friends, however that interaction seemed to say otherwise.
She went to sleep that night determined to talk to Barty and to send Reggie a note in the journal demanding they speak once more, or she would take drastic measures to gain his attention. Her last thought was that she would not overthink her interaction with Sirius Black, he was simply the boy she yelled at.
-oOo-
The next morning Hermione woke up determined. She was going to confront Barty today and she was going to get answers. Getting dressed she stood in the Common room staring at the boy's stairwell until every boy, but the one she was searching for, came down. She sat there for another thirty minutes and was finally rewarded by the appearance of her friend.
"Barty," she said without emotion. He looked up at her, surprise flickering in his eyes. He looked down at his watch and gulped.
"What are you doing up here at this time, Mione?" he asked, pretending that he wasn't avoiding her.
"Don't you Mione me, Barty. What. The. Fuck. Is going on?!" she growled at him. His eyes widened at her swearing, he knew she didn't do it often, and she rarely got mad at him. He should have guessed this would happen; he should have planned this differently. It wasn't fair on her, he knew, but he felt he had no other choice. He let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping in defeat. He walked over to the couch and dropped on it dejectedly. Hermione watched him, her eyes narrowed, and lips pursed in frustration.
"Barty-" she tried, but he cut her off asking her to place her privacy wards. Frowning, yet granting him his request she made the space around the couch completely private for them.
"Mione, I'm sorry, I should have talked to you, b-but I w-was, we-well," he stuttered. Hermione's heart thumped in her chest as she heard her friends stutter return, the stutter he had gotten rid of. Something had scared him so much, hurt him so much that he was the terrified little boy that she and Reggie had first met.
"Barty, please, what is wrong?" she asked, the pain and panic obvious in her voice. She would never point out his stutter, never ask him why it had returned, he knew it was there, he didn't need her voicing it.
"M-Mione, I, I'm so-so-sorry," he whispered, tears falling down his cheeks. He took a deep breath, balled his hands into fists and let out the breath, before starting again, with more control of his voice, "Mione, I told you Reggie was removing your messages. I lied."
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly, why would Barty lie to her and remove her messages? She knew how much she wanted to talk to Reggie, was he replying, and she just never saw?
"He never replied to you," he promised her, he could see the emotions on her face, the betrayal as she considered he would take away her chance to talk to Reggie, "He never did, until one day I sent him a message. We made a promise to each other we would always look out for you, we would always have your back, so I made him talk to me based on that promise. We sent messages to and from each other until we determined a day to meet. I would remove all traces of our conversation before you could see the book again.
"We finally met, and he admitted to me why he was so adamant about not speaking to you through the journal, why wouldn't he meet in secret with us? Why wouldn't he let us help him? Mione, it is so much worse than we could have imagined. He was forced to go to that village, forced to witness, forced to take part," Barty spat out the words, staring at the ground, refusing to look into Hermione's tearful eyes, "He thought he could protect us by distancing from us before Yule. However, after the revel, after he was Marked, he was asked some questions, specifically, about you and me. Mione, Reggie told me that they want to recruit me because of my father."
Hermione gasped and collapsed down onto the couch, the tears finally falling down her cheeks.
"I don't want to, I met with Reggie, and he told me how to try and stay out of their recruitment list," Barty whispered, finally looking up at his friend through his lashed. His heart pounding as he saw the shock and sadness in her expression.
"How?" she whispered.
"If I act like a stupid teenage boy, basically. Show no interest in my father's work, be open about my disinterest in anything after Hogwarts," he shrugged, he wasn't convinced it would work, and from the look on Hermione's face, she too was skeptical, "And, if that doesn't work, that's why I haven't been around you."
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione demanded, finally getting to the answer she was originally after.
"Mione, if I don't get the target off my back and I'm forced to choose between death and Death Eater, I'm not taking you with me!" he yelled, "If I'm close to you then they will be paying attention to you. I do not need you hurt because of me or your power discovered because they were watching me."
Hermione listened to his reasoning, just like Reggie, to protect her.
Why couldn't she just protect herself? She had proven she was advanced with magic, she could stand up for herself.
"Mione, I know you aren't a weak woman; I know you can fight your own battles. However, please, don't let me be the reason you have to defend yourself!" Barty pleaded.
Hermione's resolve broke at his tone, he rarely asked her for anything, and the desperation in his voice scared her a bit. What could Reggie have told him that made him so afraid of these people? Surely his father had shared stories.
'He only saw the aftermath though,' her inner voice argued.
"Barty, I miss you and Reggie," Hermione finally whispered, her voice as small as the little girl he met back in the summer before Hogwarts. Barty opened his arms, inviting her in for a big hug. She jumped into his arms and snuggled onto his lap, hugging him around the waist and lifting her knees to her chest, as his arms enveloped her entire body. He placed a kiss to the top of her head, reassuring her that this was temporary. In the grand scheme of their lives this would hopefully be a blip, brothers and sisters are siblings for all of eternity and no matter what happened he would always be her brother and she would always be his sister. She fell asleep in his arms, smiling at their bond and thoughts of when they could be like this again.
A few hours later, Hermione awoke alone on the couch. Barty was long gone, but he had placed her on the couch with a soft blanket that smelled just like him. She folded the blanket and placed it in her room with a stasis charm to keep his scent, it would calm her down on bad nights before bed.
-oOo-
Hermione's long days, turned into long weeks, and eventually into long months. She spent her time studying for OWLs, she would forget to eat and sleep, losing herself in the work. The only times that she was remotely herself was when she would argue with the Marauders, well Sirius Black, but it was always the Marauders taking part, she just directed her ire at him particularly. Lily Evans was similar with James Potter, always managing to pop up just as the Marauders were up to something or Hermione had already begun yelling at them.
She kept telling herself that she just yelled at Sirius Black because he was a frustrating boy that was just searching for attention through bullying and stupid pranks. However, she couldn't hide the blush or erratic beating of her heart when he would wink or smirk at her. Especially when they were arguing, he would throw in a comment that would cause her to sputter and lose her train of thought.
There was always this darkening of his eyes when she would stalk up to him and point her wand at him. He would look her up and down with a smirk and make a comment to rile her up. Just that day she had found them playing with the lock into Filch's office.
"Black, doubt Filch uses a lock pick to enter his office. Have you tried knocking?" she asked, her voice sickly sweet.
"Alright McCallister, I know you came by just to watch my arse as I bend over this lock," he said as he straightened up and sauntered over to her, "Have you finally decided to give into this spark between us?"
"Spark? Oh, you mean this?" she asked innocently, Sirius unaware she had slipped her wand down her sleeve, throwing a stinging hex at his leg.
"Ow! Fuck!" he swore, leaning over and rubbing his leg, scowling up at the witch.
It frustrated him to no end that the younger Muggleborn didn't show any sign of attraction to him, she didn't falter once when he used his charms. She just continued with arguing with him, the fire burning in her eyes, hands on her hips or her wand threatening him to back down. He would always back down if he saw he was pushing her too far, but he loved riling her up. It had become his new favourite game.
"While I don't agree with bothering poor Filch, I have better things to be doing," Hermione smiled down at the boy.
"Poor Filch? Princess, I think you're mistaken, poor Sirius. Why don't you kiss it better?" he asked, looking up at her through his lashes. Hermione's heart stuttered in her chest; her voice caught in her throat as the attractive man looked up at her. She felt her face darken, the blush overtaking her features. Huffing she stormed off, hearing the boy chuckling behind her.
Apparently, she was attracted to him, just very, very good at hiding it.
Hermione stormed off, walking past Lily Evans who was likely on her way to stop the boys from their plan. It seemed the red-headed witch found a lot of time to interact with the Marauders, perhaps she enjoyed the attention James gave her and just wouldn't admit it. Hermione would admit she interacted with the Marauders – no Sirius – for her source of socialization.
That was all it was. Socialization.
She wasn't attracted to the grey-eyed Marauder. Not the older brother of her best friend. No, she wasn't that cliché. She was not attracted to him. Full stop.
-oOo-
Sirius watched Hermione at the Ravenclaw table, it was only a few weeks until the end of years exams, which would be her OWLs. He had noticed that this year she wasn't with her two bodyguard boy friends, both had stopped spending time with her. He understood Reggie, bastard was off killing Muggleborns and blood traitors, likely, how could he consort with one at school?
What confused him was Barty Crouch Jr. He knew that he was the son of Head Auror, James' dad talked about him a lot, being Head of the Department, Charlus Potter was Barty Crouch Sr.'s boss. He didn't think that the son of an auror would be prejudice, so that likely wasn't why they stopped talking. The younger boy appeared to have grown up and realized what a woman was, yet ignored the very girl sitting in front of him, choosing instead to drop her and spend time with various others. Sirius had spotted a few of his previous conquests draping their arms all over Barty at different meals, all sitting far from the younger Muggleborn witch.
Sirius just didn't understand, he thought they were dating one another but appeared that they were only friends. That or the bastard broke up with her and was now flaunting his new relationships in her face. He saw her look up at the other end of the table where her old friend sat frequently, a sad expression overtaking her features, sometimes looking at Slytherin too. She was always alone though, not a single Ravenclaw spoke to her. They all appeared to keep their distance, some even sending her nasty looks. He sometimes even noticed Professor McGonagall watching her with a sad look, Sirius may even describe it as pity.
He didn't believe McCallister needed pity though, she needed friends, someone to understand her. He saw the passion and emotion hiding under the surface, he could rile her up like no other girl, and that kind of girl didn't deserve to be a lonely, dismissed, pitied girl.
Sirius wanted to know more about her, but how would he go about that? He had already learned all he could from just observing her. Maybe Evans had spoken to her? They yelled at him and his friends enough.
"Hey, Evans," he called for Lily's attention, his friends looking at him curiously. He didn't generally interact with Lily, normally when he did it was for James' sake.
"What is it Black?" she asked in a tone that stated she would rather not talk to him.
"You ever talk to McCallister? You both seem to enjoy screaming at Prongs and I?" he asked casually, throwing a grape into his mouth.
"No, I've never spoken to her," Lily replied, looking a bit uncomfortable.
"Not even after you both get a good dig in at us?" he was honestly surprised, she had never, ever spoken to the other witch? The more he looked at Lily, he saw a flash of an emotion over her face. Was it guilt? Remorse?
"Um, I just haven't," she said evasively, trying to turn back to her friends.
"Evans," Sirius said slowly, his tone giving off a sense of warning.
"Okay, fine," she huffed, sliding over so she was closer to the boys, closer to James, leaving him almost hyperventilating in excitement, completely unaware of the conversation, "Um, I have deliberately never spoken to her."
Lily held her chin up as if she was trying to remain prideful over her admission, but Sirius was even more confused.
"Why?" his eyes narrowing, he knew Lily could be bitchy, he had heard her talk about her own sister, however, he had never known her to bully another student. She hated others bullying Snivellus, so why would she be so cruel?
"Well, you see, I have always been proud of my grades," she started.
"Oh Merlin, you don't like her because she's smarter?" he hissed.
"No!" she yelled, but then her shoulders slumped, "okay, fine, yes. I didn't like her because she was better than me! Then well, just none of her housemates liked her, and then she was friends with your brother, a Slytherin."
"So, you're saying that a smart Muggleborn, friends with a Slytherin, was a threat to you?" Sirius demanded. Remus was frowning at Lily, he had never thought she would stoop so low, although he did recall being a bit resentful when Lily got better marks than him in the exams, and then he remembered hearing about McCallister beating Lily. He never thought much of it after that, he learned to live with Lily beating him, so it was of no concern to him when another Muggleborn beat him. It didn't seem that way for Lily. It was fortunate that James was too busy handling Lily's proximity than listening to her confession, he wasn't sure how James would react to seeing one of Lily's flaws up close.
"When you put it that way, it sounds horrible," admitted Lily sadly, she never thought about it from that perspective. She had come to Hogwarts set on proving herself, then she found out that there were house rivalries and the one her best friend was part of hated her simply for her blood status. When she started second year and another girl came to the school, another Muggleborn, that not only was friends with a Slytherin, but he sat at her table, enjoyed meals with her every single day, none of his Slytherin friends bothered him for sitting at Ravenclaw. Severus didn't sit with her, he sat at his table and never stood up for her when his housemates made comments about her. She was jealous of the other Muggleborn, and it only grew when she learned that the younger witch beat all her grades. After that she just decided to pretend the girl didn't exist, she would laugh along with any jokes made at her expense, she would walk past and continue with her day if she saw them hitting her with a tripping jinx. She really was horrible, and Sirius was right to look at her the way he was.
"Does she talk to anyone?" Sirius finally asked. Lily shook her head, explaining to the boys, James finally coming out of his trance, that all Ravenclaw hated her. They spoke often of how she was disliked for thinking she was better and smarter than all of them, she would refuse to join study groups or tutoring sessions. Many referred to her as an ice witch, no emotions, closed off, unable to have feelings. Lily never believed those rumours; she just believed the girl was exceedingly smart so didn't socialize the same way. Looking back on her own actions, Lily started to wonder if perhaps Hermione McCallister was cold and closed off because of how she was treated. Did the mistreatment cause her to turn into herself and give up on reaching out to others?
The Marauders and Lily glanced over to Hermione at Ravenclaw table. She was sitting alone at the end, with her head in the palms of her hands, elbows on the table, as she read from one of her textbooks, he meal forgotten beside her. To everyone else she was simply reading her book, interested in nothing but the written word, however, the Gryffindors watching her started to notice some of her tells.
Hermione's back was ramrod straight, tension holding her posture, the tenseness of the fight or flight, ready for comments from other students. Her fingers were pressed into her cheeks; however, Lupin's keen eyes noticed the bulge in her sleeve; her wand. Her wand was sitting at the ready in her sleeve in case it was needed in moments notice. Her eyes were reading the words, but every few moments her eyes would dart up and down the table and towards the Slytherins, always aware and observing her surroundings. Her mouth was straight, her lips pinched, an obvious tell that she was tense, exhausted, and overthinking.
Remus Lupin was curious about the girl, she seemed to be as internally conflicted as himself. He knew she wasn't a werewolf; he would be able to smell that, however, she had her own haunted inner thoughts. He didn't wish that pain on anyone, knowing firsthand how self-loathing can tire the mind and body. He was a monster, he deserved that pain, not that his friends believed that, but she wasn't a monster. Looking at his friend Sirius, he was sure Sirius had feelings for the witch but just hadn't admitted it to himself yet, so maybe his friend could help her out.
James Potter watched the girl for a moment before turning back to his best mate, Sirius loved riling her up, just like he loved riling up Lily. Padfoot was adamant that he just enjoyed the laugh, but James knew, he knew the wizard liked the hot-tempered Muggleborn. They were the best kind, he thought, looking dreamily at Lily Evans again.
Peter Pettigrew looked at the witch for a minute before shrugging his shoulders and turning back to his meal. What did she matter to him?
Lily Evans felt terrible as she watched the girl, she had been so set on proving herself. Proving her muggle blood didn't set her back, so busy proving to her family that Petunia was wrong about magic. However, in doing that she had become almost as bad as her sister. She may not have called Hermione McCallister a freak, or a filthy witch, but she had giggled as others laughed about her appearance. She had kept her head down when she heard Slytherins call her the M-word that she ended her friendship with Severus over. She had perpetuated the hatred and loneliness that Hermione experienced. As a prefect and fellow Muggleborn she had acted terribly.
Sirius Black watched Hermione and he felt something heat up in his chest. He felt a warmth grow around his heart, warming as he watched the actions of the younger witch. He couldn't see the fire in her eyes that she had when they interacted, her hair was smooth and shiny now, as if she had found something to fix the frizz, but it was falling flat. When they argued, it sparked up, as if the magic itself was bursting to come out of each strand of hair. Her nose would scrunch up and her eyes would squint as she stared him down, and now her face and eyes were blank. He wanted to bring that fire back, he wanted to put a smile on her face and remove that sad expression.
Sirius Black felt it in his heart when he realized the truth, he fancied Hermione McCallister.
-oOo-
Hermione was sitting in the library, again, working on her notes for Transfiguration, her first OWL exam in the morning. She had studied every day leading up to the exams, she decided to take three days off before the exam where she wouldn't look at a single book. She spent those days down by the lake, reminiscing on the events of the year. She couldn't believe that just last summer she had told Barty this would be the most exciting year, she would pass her exams and then she would never have her wand taken. She would always have magic after this, no matter what her parents said.
Now, looking back, she knew this was her worst year. She had lost her two best friends and was reliving the loneliness times of her childhood. The only upside had been Crookshanks, cuddling with her every night since Barty had stopped spending time with her.
'It's not only Crooks,' her traitorous brain supplied.
Sirius Black had been popping up more and more, and not just for her to yell at. Often, he would come across her alone, he would say hello, compliment her, smile at her.
It confused her, he wasn't smirking at her quite so much. Sure, he still smirked and winked at her, especially when she met his eyes across the Great Hall now that she was facing towards Gryffindor table. Not that she did that because she wanted to look at him, no not at all, she just couldn't look towards Reggie anymore, that's all.
She also noticed that he wasn't spending time with the various witches that followed him, she used to see him flirting with them, sometimes witnessed him entering or existing a broom cupboard, yet in the last few weeks she hadn't seen one. Many of the girls were watching him, glaring at any girls that approached him, but not one of them approached him. It was the smile that was throwing her off the most, though. She was used to the sinful smirk, the confident, attractive half smile that set her blood pumping, that is until she saw the smile. The smile directed at her.
It was a warm, welcoming smile. Perfect, white teeth in his mouth, a smile that could stop anyone's heart. She wished it meant more than it probably did, it was likely a friendly smile, they had interacted enough that a friendly interaction wasn't impossible. When he did smile at her his eyes would light up and his molten silver eyes would become even more entrancing. Hermione wanted to kick herself for finally falling for his charms, she had developed feelings for the stupid wizard. Feelings that would never be reciprocated.
Forcing herself to think of something else, that wasn't the grey eyed Marauder, she thought about Lily Evans. The girl had actually started speaking to her, it wasn't much but she said hello and asked her how her day was. She once even made a joke at the boys' expense after they finished another shouting match with the boys.
While Sirius had started being friendlier and acting a bit more genuine than just flirting, he had not stopped his attempts at riling her up. Which she was thankful, as much as she enjoyed the nicer, almost caring side of the wizard, she loved when he provoked her, she loved provoking him. She could pretend that the frustration was sexual tension, all building up to a moment. Also, it made her feel alive, something she rarely felt these days.
Shaking her head of her thoughts, frustrated she had once again turned them to Sirius Black. She started to think about the summer, she wasn't sure what she would do this year. While yes, she would be allowed to keep her wand no matter what after these OWLs, she still could not perform magic outside of school until she was seventeen. Not only that, but she would also be completely alone this summer.
No friends would visit her in Diagon Alley.
No friends would ask her how her stay with her parents was.
No friends would know what she was going through. No friends to talk to and share her suffering.
She was completely alone and in that one week with her parents, she would have nothing to look forward to.
Sighing and falling back on the grass she looked up at the clouds. She would just have to power through as usual, just survive the one week at home and then go to Diagon Alley. Enjoy the books, observe witches and wizards shopping, listen to the news of the wizarding world, and prepare herself for sixth year. Maybe she could find a job this summer, start making connections with the adults in wizarding society. She would basically be spending the summer just waiting for Auror Moody to check on her every few weeks, maybe he could offer her some knowledge into the workings of the justice department considering she wanted to be a lawyer.
She heard footfalls that stopped near her head, she looked up and spotted Sirius Black staring down at her, his head blocking the sun.
"Black," she greeted, trying to keep her tone even. She would hate for him to realize just how much she enjoyed when he came over to her.
"McCallister, is that you? I thought you would be merged to your chair in the library for OWLs," he joked, dropping himself to sit beside her. She remained lying down beside her, not wanting to appear flustered around him, if she stayed laying down, further from him, maybe he would hear her heartbeat so fast.
"Even I need to feel the sun," she said quietly. She was feeling self-conscious, she and Sirius had never had an actual conversation, it was them yelling at each other, or a friendly smile, wave, and hello.
"From what I hear, McCallister, you don't need to spend another moment in that library," he smiled, a genuine smile. She was caught up by that smile, but his words finally sunk in.
"Oh. Yes, the Ravenclaw mudblood isn't wanted anywhere else," she sneered, standing up. She knew what the others said about her, was hard not to when they said it right to her face. She just never thought that Sirius would be one of those people to laugh at her in the library, especially with Lupin being a bookworm himself, and even Lily, who Sirius' best friend was supposedly in love with.
Sirius was taken aback at her reaction, not only had she gotten angry, but she had called herself that despicable word. He was just trying to compliment her on how smart she was, but she took it entirely wrong. He quickly jumped up and grabbed her wrist before she could storm away.
"McCallister, wait!" he gasped.
"What?" she demanded, ripping her arm out of his grasp, her expression hard and closed off. She was angry and hurt, Sirius felt awful.
"Look, I didn't mean it like that, alright? Please, don't think I was laughing at you, it's just from what I hear from the professors, you don't need to study as much as you do," he said quietly, he wasn't used to apologizing, "Also, please, don't call yourself that."
"What? Mudblood?" she asked, her head tilting as she looked at him curiously. He flinched when she said it again, causing her to frown again. She knew the word was bad, she knew it was derogatory, but she didn't understand his physical reaction. It was a word she heard every day.
Barty and Reggie had never said it to her, but they had used it in conversation. Reggie would use it when he was telling one of his stories about his parents, he would quote his parents and make sarcastic comments about following in their footsteps to rid the world of those pesky Mudbloods. Even Barty would use it when he explained his father and his apparent fight for the good and light but the belief that laws for Mudbloods would protect their culture. Hermione knew that not all wizards believed Muggleborns were magic-stealing imposters, but most did believe that she was of a lower class.
"Yes," Sirius hissed, "That is a horrible word and doesn't describe you at all."
"It's just a word," she replied.
"It isn't though, it is a word that stems from the belief that you don't belong here. You do, McCallister, you are the farthest one could be from that word," Sirius said honestly, staring into her eyes trying to convey how serious he was.
"Most don't believe I do, Black. Not many have been welcoming," she said honestly, not sure why she was being so open with the wizard in front of her.
"Fuck 'em. You belong here, McCallister. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just jealous of your abilities," Sirius smirked, she loved that smirk of his. It made her weak in the knees, yet his words made her panic.
"My abilities?" she squeaked. Did he know she was naturally good with magic? She promised Reggie she wouldn't let anyone know!
"You pick up magic easily, McCallister. Purebloods come here every year, raised on magic, and none of them pass their exams with the grades you do," Sirius replied, curious about her response, he left it for now though.
"Oh, yeah, I just read a lot," she answered looking down at her feet awkwardly. Sirius watched her, not fully believing her answer but decided not to push her.
"Are you ready for these big, bad, scary exams?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. It worked as she looked up at him with a smile that reached her eyes.
"Big, bad, scary exams? You make it sound like they might eat me," she teased, smirking back at him. Sirius' breath caught in his throat staring at the girl, he had seen her angry, frustrated, sad, but never amused, never teasing. And Merlin did he love that look in her eyes!
"Well, my charms exam did give me a paper cut! I literally bled for the OWLs! Look there's a scar and everything!" he said dramatically, holding his index finger up close to her eyes to look at the non-existent scar.
"Oh, poor Black, taken down by parchment!" she said, throwing her head back in laughter. Sirius was mesmerized by her new attitude. Her laughter was like music, her smile was warm, bright and could make a dying man cling to life. Her auburn curls bounced in the sun, the rays allowing the different shades of red to dance in the light. He had a sudden urge to reach forward and tuck a curl behind her ear, allowing his hand to trace down her cheek, but he restrained himself. He didn't want to scare her off.
"It may have tried to take me down McCallister. However, as you can see me standing before you, I came out victorious in the end! For my troubles I was named Sir Sirius Black, noble gentlewizard," he announced pompously, dropping into an extravagant bow. Hermione couldn't stop laughing, this wizard was ridiculous! She hadn't laughed this hard in months, probably since she and Barty had ridden in the Hogwarts Express back in September.
Sirius smirked as he watched the girl laugh at his antics. He loved to make people laugh, Reggie would follow him everywhere asking for him to tell jokes, that is until he grew up and started listening to mummy and daddy. It was why he played so many pranks and flirted with so many girls, he loved to spread happy emotions, whether that was laughter or desire, if it was a happy emotion that could make him forget the negative emotions of his childhood, it was worth it.
A lot of them were temporary fixes, made him feel good for a minute. But this witch in front of him, her interactions left him feeling good for days after. He couldn't wait to come across her again and he found he wasn't chasing those old fixes anymore. He still pranked, obviously, but he wasn't needing to take every girls offer to make him feel a little better anymore.
Having Hermione laugh this hard with him, let her true self out if only for a moment would keep him alive for days. Weeks. Months.
"Black, you are something else," Hermione said when she finally stopped laughing. Her sides hurt, her eyes had tears in them, and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It was a foreign feeling.
With that truth hitting her, she felt the happiness start to seep from her. Sirius, too, noticed the mood change, and cursed himself for allowing her to sink back into herself. One day he would see her uninhibited without fear of others seeing it.
"I feel the same about you, Princess," he smiled, his eyes quickly roving her body again. Damn, she was a beautiful witch.
"Well, Black, as you said, the big, bad, scary exams are coming up, so I better get back to my studying," Hermione said, bringing an end to their latest meeting. Sirius nodded and offered to walk her up to the castle.
Together, they walked up to the castle quietly. It was a comfortable silence, Hermione felt no need to fill the space, and neither did Sirius. They were both just observing each other through the corner of their eyes. Hermione knew Sirius was tall yet having him beside her made her feel so much shorter and smaller than him. She saw his hand swinging beside her and she just knew his hand could wrap around hers easily.
Sirius knew that Hermione was shorter than him, but now he noticed that she came up to his mid chest. If she was to rest her head against him, it would be just above his heart. He also noticed that her hands were tiny, her one hand could fit perfectly in his larger hand, he could encase it and keep her safe in his hold.
He had never been a romantic, had never thought of witches as vulnerable or requiring protection, however all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and protect her from the world that hates her for what she can't control. He wants to be the one she comes to when she needs someone.
However, he wasn't any of those things. He was the wizard that she yelled at, the older brother of the boy who abandoned her. The wizard who ignored her for five years and only paid attention when Reggie made him.
He hoped he could change that.
Maybe this summer he would send her an owl, try, and talk to her outside of Hogwarts. Maybe she would be willing to meet him in Diagon Alley, she was there every summer he was there.
-oOo-
A/N: Hope you liked it! Stay tuned for Chapter 7 soon!