A/N: New chapter and it's the longest one yet!
I just wanted to address a review I received about this Hermione not being strong. I actually disagree, she has endured so much hatred, loneliness, and neglect from those who should care for her. Through all that she has maintained her own sense of self, she has kept her head held high and powered through, and she has endured without breaking. Just because she has self-deprecation in private, internal doubts and moments of self-hate, doesn't make her weak. Mental illness is extremely hard to overcome and is most of the time a life-long battle. Hermione in JK Rowling's HP was strong yes, but you never saw her alone in her room, you never saw her crumble from the stress of her life or bullying, it was a story told from a teenage boys life, he wouldn't recognize a females struggles. Teenager years are hard enough for a lot of people, women especially because our bodies are changing and we don't look like what the world says we should and the boys our age are looking at women in magazines that are much older, more developed, and most of the time edited.
Hermione is a very strong character, her intelligence is inspiring, her ability to persevere through prejudice and discrimination based on her parentage and then parents that do not understand her world.
Hermione McCallister withstood her torture same as Hermione Granger, she did not break.
She is extremely powerful but has hidden her talents so as not to draw the attention of the Death Eaters and Voldemort, which Regulus warned her about in her first year. She may not show off her power physically, but she has shown her intelligence at school which caught their eyes enough.
I'm sorry for the long author's note but I felt the need to defend my Hermione.
-oOo-
Professor McGonagall made her daily walk towards the Hospital Wing before breakfast. She thought back onto her summer when she had received word from Alastor Moody that Hermione McCallister had not returned from an outing into the muggle world, according to Tom the Innkeeper.
Immediately Flooing to the Leaky, she and Moody had spoken to Tom and learned that she had completed most of her school shopping and had ventured out to retrieve some new muggle clothes. He had explained that over the years he had come to care for the young girl like a daughter and he was terrified on what could have possibly happened to her. Knowing the current climate in the wizarding world, Moody was concerned that wizards had attacked her, but he didn't understand why she would be targeted. He had inquired into asked McGonagall about Hermione's school interactions, even having McGonagall take him to Flitwick.
McGonagall sighed remembering the conversation with her colleague, he hadn't even realized she was taken out of her home to protect her wellbeing. Her Head of House simply knew that she was his best student that mostly kept to herself. McGonagall had been shocked that he didn't learn more about his wards, he was to ensure their care but was not even aware that Hermione was ostracized by her own classmates. She was aware, she saw it all, she saw the deterioration of the girls' best friends and eventual split. But she could do nothing. Albus ensured that.
A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she thought of the headmaster. Albus had tried to prevent her from stepping in for Hermione back in her second year, which was why it took her an entire week to leave the school. He had tried to reason with her that she was a Ravenclaw, thus not her concern. He had then tried to reason that involving themselves in the personal life of a student was inappropriate.
Pish posh.
Their duty was to protect the student in all aspects of their lives, and Hermione McCallister needed that before it became detrimental to her health. She knew how obscurus were born, and Albus of all people should understand that! No matter how much he had tried, McGonagall had disregarded him and gone ahead with her plan.
Then, when the girl was missing! Missing! He had appeared sad, and admitted he believed the girl may have been targeted for her blood status. She was friends with the Black scion-now-heir after all he had reasoned. Then had had walked off and given no advise on how to find the girl, just wrote her off there and then.
'The audacity of the man!' McGonagall thought to herself. She was beginning to question her old friend, he was making very questionable decisions in this war. He was running Hogwarts, while also being the Senior Mugwump of the ICW, and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and she was sure he was putting together his own group to fight Voldemort. He had too much on his plate and because of that he was not considering the care of his wards, McGonagall would have to take that role.
When Hermione had appeared at the gates of Hogwarts, found by Hagrid, she had come running as soon as she heard. Thankfully she had had long talks with Poppy over the young girl, she had been aware of the relationship McGonagall had with the young witch. So, when Hagrid came barging into the Hospital Wing, the mediwitch had sent a Patronus to her dear friend and neglected to inform the headmaster, something that Hagrid took care of.
McGonagall arrived within five minutes of Hermione's appearance, and she staggered back with a sob when she saw the condition of the girl. She had watched her from afar, unable to keep her close and give her the love she so wished to give her. Hermione was pale, her hair was stuck to her face from blood, dirt, and sweat, there were dark circles around her eyes which were also sunken in. She looked like nothing but skin and bones, like she had been malnourished for months, but she had only been missing for less than two weeks. Her body spasmed and twitched, giving McGonagall a very good idea of what happened to the girl. However, when her eyes landed on the girl's arm, the desire to evacuate her stomach nearly overcame her. MUDBLOOD. The girl had been tortured by magical and muggle means.
Taking a deep breath and steadying herself, the Transfiguration professor offered herself to the mediwitch for assistance. It took them four hours to stabilize the girl, her heart giving out twice from the repeated and overextended use of the Cruciatus curse combined with the blood loss and shock. Tears that refused to drop from both witches' eyes as they looked down on the girl, the strongest witch they knew for overcoming her torture and surviving. Not many escaped the capture and torture of these monsters roaming the wizarding world today.
Moody had come in to see her, as had Dumbledore after hearing from Hagrid. Moody had taken report of all her injuries and from Hagrid on where he found her. Dumbledore had tried to intervene, attempting to send Hermione to St Mungo's, something that McGonagall had very strong feelings against. She had told the old man that the girl had been targeted, captured, tortured, and somehow survived, she would not be sent to a hospital where her attackers could find her. The safest place for her was at Hogwarts, where she could look over the girl like she had been doing for the past five years. Dumbledore tried to remind her of the policies of interacting with students, and she had reminded him that as Deputy Headmistress she knew exactly what her limitations were, and he could sod off and get back to his own neglected duties.
Needless to say, she and Dumbledore were not seeing as eye to eye anymore, the man had become senile in his older years. She would watch all his moves within this school in the coming years and if he invited her into this group he was forming, she would most definitely keeping a watchful eye on him in that too.
She finally reached the Hospital Wing, her frustration starting to seep from her as she thought of seeing the young witch. It had been months and she still had not woken from her coma, however, every day she looked healthier. While her cheeks were still sunken in, her skin was still pale, and she still bled out from her scarred arm, she had gained weight from the emaciated look she had at first arrival, her leg had healed, no longer broken and displaced. However, the convulsions were still a concern, the bleeding arm still worrying them, the psychological state of the girl when she awoke was still unknown. But the Transfiguration professor was hopeful, Hermione would make a full recovery and continue being the brightest witch of her generation. McGonagall would never admit this to anyone, but she was sure Hermione could give her Marauders and Lily Evans a run for their Galleons if she had put her mind towards pranks.
As if her thoughts of the Marauders materialized him, McGonagall was startled when she opened Hermione's curtain to find Sirius Black at her bedside, holding her hand.
"Black?" she asked, surprised.
"Oh, Professor!" he jumped, his grey eyes wide in his own surprise.
"What on Earth are you doing here?" she asked, her eyes narrowing down at the wizard.
"Um, I heard from Remus that she was here," Sirius replied looking a bit embarrassed, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck. McGonagall looked down and took in the entire scene, while he used his left to rub his neck in nervousness, his right was holding Hermione's hand tightly. Her eyebrows rose to her hairline, she didn't even realize the older Black was aware of his younger brother's old best friend.
"While that explains how you knew she was here, it does not answer why," she prodded. While she was supportive of Hermione finding new friends, especially with her loyal Gryffindors, she knew Sirius Black's reputation with witches, and she would not subject Hermione to that hurt.
"Well, you see, um," he stuttered. McGonagall had never seen the boy so flustered; he always had a witty retort on the tip of his tongue. Her narrowed gaze softened as she watched him try and answer her, he cared for Hermione, she could see that.
"I was not aware you and Miss McCallister were on speaking terms," McGonagall smiled at him, taking a seat on the chair opposite him, on Hermione's other side. She raised her hand and held Hermione's, squeezing it twice to let Hermione know she was there, she wasn't alone.
"Maybe not speaking, more like she screams at me," Sirius chuckled, looking at Hermione with a warm smile, "I may deliberately try and rile her up sometimes."
"Black," McGonagall started slowly, "Sirius, I am sure you are aware that she was best friends with two boys up until last year, one of them being-"
"Reggie, yeah, I noticed it back in his first year. I tried to warn her that he was just like my parents, she never listened. Then, he proved it last year. I heard the things he said to her, called her that word," his eyes darted to her arm before looking back up at her face.
"Then you are aware she has a difficult life here in Hogwarts," McGonagall explained, cutting him off before he could ask anything, "I will not speak of her life, Sirius, whatever she wishes to share with you is her prerogative, I will not break her trust. However, I ask, if- when she wakes up, I would like you to watch out for her. I am not sure how she will be when she wakes, but you seem to care for her, she needs that."
"Can you tell me what happened to her at least?" he asked. While he knew she didn't have many friends, and Lily had told him that not many Ravenclaws liked her, or any of the females, he hadn't realized just how difficult that could have been entering a new world.
"I am sure you are very aware of what happened to her Mr. Black" McGonagall replied flatly.
"I just meant; do you know who?" he asked quietly. He hoped it wasn't his family, he couldn't cope if his own blood did this, his own brother?
"We are unsure of who did this, where they took her, or why she was targeted, however, a reputable auror is looking into it. I do not see there being any answers Mr. Black, she was taken on the muggle side of London, thus no one would have seen anything. As for who, I am assuming you know the climate outside Hogwarts currently?" McGonagall asked, at Sirius' nod she continued, "There is a war brewing, sides are being chosen and unfortunately for Miss McCallister, her side was chosen when she was born to muggles and gifted with magic." Sirius went quiet as he stared down at the girl he had come to fall for. She was so strong to withstand everything she had been dealt so far, somehow keeping her head held high every day at school.
McGonagall and Sirius sat together in silence for a while longer, the professor leaving after an hour. Sirius continued to sit and stare at the girl, he just wanted Hermione to wake up. He wanted to see the fire that burned in her eyes when she looked at him. As it was a Sunday, Sirius decided he was going to spend his day here with her. No one should be alone in the hospital wing, and she had already been alone since she arrived. He should have asked McGonagall when she arrived, how long had she been sleeping? When would she wake up? McGonagall had originally said if but quickly corrected it to when she woke up. Was there a chance he would never see the fire in her eyes again?
This was how his best friends Remus, James, and Peter found him. His thoughts spiralling as he stared down desperately at the girl.
"Alright Pads?" James said quietly. Remus wanted to hit the wizard in he back of the head for his tactless words, but that would be just as tactless.
"No," was the short answer they received.
"Mate, what happened to her?" James asked, sitting down on the chair McGonagall had sat in. James looked down at the witch and finally took her appearance in, his breath sucking in as he realized what had happened. He didn't need to be told, the constant twitches, the arm bandage that was already bleeding through again.
"Sirius," Remus said, "Do you want us to bring you any breakfast or lunch?" The werewolf knew that Sirius wouldn't want to leave her side, when he cared for someone, he gave them his everything. Back when they discovered his condition, Sirius had sat at his bedside after the full moon, refusing to leave his side until Remus had explained why he never told them. Only to be called an idiot and not a monster, what monster reads books on poetry, folds his socks, and cries that the animals don't like to sit near him in Care of Magical Creatures.
"Thanks, Moony," Sirius gave him a small smile and nod in thanks.
"Pads, what can we do for you?" James asked seriously. The wizard may be immature, he may not know what to say at the right time, he may put his foot in his mouth a lot, but when it came down to it and James realized the seriousness of the situation, he stepped up. Having grown up as an only child with older parents and carefree childhood, James was the most outgoing and untroubled wizard with his greatest concern and struggle being gaining the love of one Lily Evans.
Sirius looked up at his best friend, James was his balance. While he had a dark childhood with bigoted parents that threw cutting curses and crucio's like tickling charms, he could fall into an abyss that would be hard to escape from. James was always there to balance him, if he felt Sirius spiralling, he would lighten the mood, find a way to distract Sirius from the destructive thinking and together they would tackle it when he was in a better mindset. However, James seemed to realize that that was not what Sirius needed right now, and for that the disowned Black was grateful.
"Can you reach out to your dad? McGonagall mentioned that Moody is looking into what happened, and I know your dad works with him," explained Sirius.
"Yeah, dad talks about him all the time. Could McGonagall-" James had started before being interrupted by Madame Pomphrey coming in. She had immediately kicked out the new additions, allowing only Sirius to stay.
"While I may allow you Black, I will not allow my patient to become an attraction to view!" she had hissed at him before storming out.
That evening Lily Evans had noted the absence of Sirius from the Great Hall during each meal and the somber attitudes of the other Marauders. She had cornered Remus in the Common Room demanding to know what they were up to. Remus tried to avoid telling her, McCallister wasn't friends with any of them so why did they deserve to know. However, Remus gave in after Lily stared him down with those vibrant green eyes.
"What are you up to?!" she had asked again through gritted teeth.
"Honestly Lily, nothing! We have no plans! Sirius is in the hospital wing!" he had surrendered, arms up in defeat.
"What on Earth did you try and do then that failed so miserably?" she sighed. Being Head Girl was not what she was expecting, and it didn't help that stupid Potter wasn't taking his role seriously except to spend time with her. She wouldn't admit it, but over the summer James Potter had gotten very attractive.
"Nothing! He's visiting someone," Remus mumbled back.
"Who?" she asked curiously, her head tilting to the side as she observed the wizard in front of her.
"McCallister," Remus said after a moment of silence. Lily's eyebrows drew together in confusion. First, why would Sirius be visiting McCallister? Secondly, why was McCallister there? She hadn't seen her since school started and had heard no whispers of astounding marks from other professors. She recalled Sirius asking after the younger Muggleborn; however, she knew nothing of her muggle life. Thirdly, why would McCallister and Sirius in the Hospital Wing result in the other three Marauders being so somber? It was as if someone had died, well at least Potter and Remus appeared sad, Peter was quiet but continued stuffing his face as usual.
Remus watched the thoughts spin in Lily's head, he was sure she had a hundred questions, most of which he couldn't answer.
"Why is she in there?" Lily finally asked, concern lacing her voice. While they hadn't been friends, Lily had spoken to her a few times after they sparred with the Marauders. She had begun to like the girl after seeing her stand toe-to-toe with Sirius, while she stood against James – no Potter, not James!
"It's not my place to share Lily," admitted Remus, his hand running through his hair. Lily nodded in understanding.
"If you go and visit her, I want to come with," she told him. Remus was surprised and it must have shown on his face, "I know I have never been the kindest to her or taken the time to get to know her, but I was hoping to change that this year. Until I noticed she hadn't arrived, I thought I had missed my chance to know her."
"Lily," Remus sighed, "Fine, Sirius will be back at some point. I'll talk to him and see if you can go with him or us tomorrow."
Satisfied with Remus' answer, Lily left, and James had launched himself at Remus to find out what Lily wanted. James was ecstatic that Lily would be spending time with them to visit Hermione, while he realized the callousness of using Hermione's condition to get close to Lily, he was taking whatever he could get.
Sirius had returned to the common room later that night, tired and unwilling to talk. He crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
-oOo-
Days turned into weeks and the Marauders visited Hermione's bedside every day. Lily had joined them the morning after she had cornered Remus and had shed a few tears when she saw Hermione's state. None of the others knew about her scarred arm, only the professors and Sirius being aware to provide her privacy in her coma. Sirius visited every day, before and after class, he would tell her stories of his childhood with Reggie, stories he thought she would appreciate if she could hear them. She someone saw something good in Reggie for so many years, he wanted her to remember Reggie's goodness, not what their parents turned him into. He told her about his best pranks and what he wanted to do in his future. He told her about what he missed about her, how he loved riling her up and seeing the spark of fire in her eyes when she yelled at him. He told her how he knew she liked it; she enjoyed yelling at him as much as he enjoyed causing it.
As requested, James had sent a letter to his father, Charlus Potter, asking about Alastor Moody and his investigation into what happened to Hermione. Charlus had replied that while he did know Moody, and that he was one of the best aurors available, he could not disclose information on current investigations. However, as a father he had told James that they were doing everything they could to learn anything they could, yet there wasn't much no matter how hard they tried.
Sirius watched his brother and Barty Crouch Jr. during meals he was in the Great Hall. His brother still had a sickly look about him, barely eating anything off his plate, and would occasionally glance at Hermione's usual spot at Ravenclaw with a pained expression. Barty was still avoiding the female population he had attracted the year before. Sirius had noticed that a twitch had developed on the boy's face, a nervous tick where his tongue would stick out twice against the corner of his mouth. The tick would happen every time Barty made eye contact with certain Slytherins or Hermione's old spot. When he heard the younger wizard speak, he had a stutter and his voice had a pained scratch to it, like he had lost his voice.
From watching his brother and Barty, Sirius became quite observant. He noticed the Slytherins that provoked Barty's tick were all older and due to graduate soon, all with parents that were the same as his bigoted dark parents. Sirius also noted that the frustrated scowls that McGonagall gave Dumbledore that first week of school continued and were also directed at Flitwick. The few times that he had caught her eye she had shook her head so slightly he could have imagined it. He would have to ask her about that sometime and find out what was going on.
Sirius also noticed that while he was hurting from Hermione's condition and continued coma, James seemed to be benefiting from the situation, something that irked Sirius. While he understood James had been chasing Lily since first year, he did not appreciate that both of them appeared to be using their visits to Hermione to spend time together. Sirius was close to just screaming at both to just leave and go have their date in Hogsmeade like a normal couple! However, he had a feeling that it would leave him feeling worse as he would ruin James' shot with his dream witch, even if Sirius was justified.
It had been one month since he had first walked into the hospital wing and found her, and still he had no answers. Sirius determined he would get them himself.
He watched his brother eat the little food that he did and when he stood to leave the hall, Sirius too stood and followed Regulus out of the Great Hall. Sirius followed behind quietly from a distance, using his Animagus skills to follow and catch up to his brother at the perfect moment. He used a hidden shortcut to get ahead of his brother and as if he had planned it perfectly, Sirius wrapped his fingers around his brother's wrist and pulled him into an unused classroom.
Before Regulus was even aware of what was happening, Sirius had him pressed against the door with his wand under Regulus' chin. His silver eyes boring into his brothers terrified grey ones.
"Sirius," whispered Regulus.
"Hello, Regulus," Sirius replied through gritted teeth.
"What has you so angry with me brother?" Regulus spoke, trying to act like the arrogant pureblood he always portrayed. Sirius stared at his brother, he wasn't sure what he had expected when he confronted him, but it certainly wasn't the defeat in his brother's demeanor. It was almost like he accepted the punishment, deserved it.
"What happened to you?" Sirius asked quietly, his wand loosening on his neck, "To her?" Regulus had evaded his eyes when he asked about him, but at the mention of his best friend his eyes darted to Sirius'.
"She's here?!" demanded Regulus, grasping onto Sirius' robes.
"In the hospital wing, she hasn't woken up yet," Sirius replied honestly. Regulus' desperation, Sirius knew could not be faked, his brother truly had not known where she was or if she was okay.
"Hasn't woken up…no…." Regulus' voice cracked at the news. Hermione was alive, but not conscious. It was the best, yet worst, news simultaneously. If she survived but lost her brilliant mind, Regulus didn't know if he would have the will to fight anymore.
"Regulus," Sirius tried to get his brothers attention; however, his eyes had glazed over thinking the worst for Hermione, "Reggie," he tried again, his voice softer, and it worked, Regulus' eyes cleared and bore into Sirius', begging his older brother to fix it. Fix it like he did when they were children and Sirius took the blame if he broke something as a child. "Tell me what happened, please."
Regulus took a deep breathe, 'anything but that, please, don't make me remember', he chanted in his head. He remembered it every night, every time he let his mind drift, he didn't want to have to replay it, speak it out loud. He looked up into his older brother's face, asking to please not make him, but Sirius couldn't not know. He had to know what happened. Regulus closed his eyes and took deep breaths, sinking to the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs and rocked slowly. He opened his eyes and stared at a spot over Sirius' head, he couldn't look at his brothers face as he recounted the memory, the most horrific day of his life.
"After you left, mother and father were furious. They were desperate to make a grand impression on the Dark Lord. When you refused to take the Mark, you embarrassed them in their eyes," Sirius scoffed but Regulus continued, he couldn't stop, or he wouldn't be able to finish. "Due to your embarrassment, they went full force with their plans for me, I was to take your place as soon as possible."
"But you, you believe that tosh," whispered Sirius weakly, if his brother hadn't believed it then Sirius would feel like shit. He would have sacrificed his brother and not even considered taking him when he escaped.
"My best friend was a Muggleborn, Sirius," Regulus replied coldly.
"You always told Walburga that she was nothing but a pawn you used, you called her that disgusting word," Sirius said harshly.
"What would you have me do? Walk into Slytherin and tell all the future Death Eaters with parents that are current Death Eaters, that I have a best friend I care for deeply who is Muggleborn. That I believe there is no difference in our blood? No superiority in purebloods? Tell mother and father that they are wrong? I am a Slytherin, Sirius, self-preservation! I said everything I did so I could keep my friends!" Regulus stared coldly at his brother, "You are a true Gryffindor. You are reckless, wear your emotions on your sleeve, brave enough to stand up to them. I am not you, Sirius!"
"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered, he had never realized that his brother could have been pretending for his own survival. He should have asked the Potters if they could have taken Reggie too.
"As soon as mother and father informed me of my future, I pulled away from my friends. I usually visited Hermione and Barty in Diagon Alley every summer, since before first year. We would go nearly every day, and I didn't visit once. I didn't see them until that day you saw me yell at her, trying to get her away from my mother. I wanted to protect them, if they were not close to me then no one would watch them. I was given my Mark at Yule," whispered Regulus.
The little colour Sirius had left, completely left his face at his brother's words.
"No…" he whispered, his expression crumpling into agony.
"I was given no choice, brother. Please believe me," his little brother pleaded, the small voice reminded Sirius so much of Reggie when he was still waddling around on unpracticed little legs.
"I believe you," replied Sirius with a small smile. He truly did, his brother's eyes were filled with sincerity, the Slytherin mask dropped for this conversation.
"I thought, I thought staying away from them had kept them safe. But," Reggie's voice trembled, "I was wrong, so wrong. Barty had caught their attention; his father was making a lot of decisions that they didn't like so they wanted to turn his son. I warned him, which is why he started spending time with all the girls, he wanted to appear like a teenager with nothing else on his mind but women. It worked, for a time." Regulus took a deep breath and found it hard to take in full gulps of air, he started taking short shallow breaths just to get enough oxygen, but it wasn't enough.
Sirius recognized the panic that was settling over Reggie and quickly put his hands on his brother's shoulders and instructed him to listen to his breathing and copy him. Regulus grasped onto Sirius' voice and listened to his words to ground him, following his instructions and breathe with him. After a few minutes Regulus was able to breathe properly again and thanked his brother with a smile.
"I was called to a meeting this summer, a week after school. Barty was brought in before everyone, I had been given no warning. He was told he would take the Mark and defy his father and be granted a huge honour. Sirius, he refused, he actually refused!" Regulus looked at his brother, pride for his best friend for being able to defy the dark wizard. "It angered the Dark Lord, and Barty was taken away. I visited and apologized for not knowing, for not finding out and warning him. He told me he didn't blame me. The next day we were called yet again, and then, then she was brought in," Regulus whispered.
Sirius had been hanging onto every word Regulus shared with him, but this was what he had been waiting for. He had been waiting to hear about Hermione, why they had her.
Regulus didn't tell Sirius about Hermione's parents; they didn't need to be spoken about right now. This was about Hermione; Sirius wouldn't understand the apathy he had for their death. He would simply assume it was because they were muggles, not because they were the ones that gave up her location, they were the reason she had no trust in outsiders and held up a wall around herself.
"The Dark Lord brought Barty out and asked him again, once again Barty refused. His punishment was then explained, Hermione was to suffer. Malfoy held Barty while, while," Regulus couldn't push the words out, how could he tell Sirius that their cousin did it? "Bellatrix…"
"No," gasped Sirius, his own panic building. His family, his blood had done it. Had sliced her open, tortured her so brutally.
"Bellatrix cursed her, it felt like hours listening to those screams," whispered Regulus, "I still hear them every time I close my eyes. They won't stop. I couldn't do anything; how could I rush forward and save her? There were dozens of Death Eaters, the Dark Lord. If I even got to her, they would have killed both of us before we even escaped. I wish I could have done anything, but all I did was stare forward wishing she was anywhere but there. She caught my eyes during it, and there was acceptance. How could she accept me just standing there doing nothing?!" Regulus sobbed, the emotion finally breaking through.
"Hermione fought for so long, and it drove Bellatrix barmy," smiled Regulus slightly, his friend was stubborn and drove them barmy sometimes, the smile fell when he remembered Bellatrix's response. "That was when she pulled out her knife, her cursed one. There was so much blood, so much red spilling, and pooling around her. I could smell the blood in the air, I could see it soaking into her clothes and getting all over Bellatrix. I thought I was going to be sick; I couldn't see what she carved but all I knew was that I remember wishing it would be over for her soon. I thought death had to be better than what she was going through. I wanted her to live so badly but not if this is what she had to endure. I hate myself for even thinking it.
"Miraculously, the Dark Lord put an end to it. He didn't want her dead, he told Bellatrix to back off and I let out a breath of relief. Then, he called for Fenrir," Regulus said quietly, Sirius tensing at the name of the werewolf that turned his best mate. "When he asked after the full moon for a taste of her, Barty begged for anything to protect her. He gave in for her, he didn't want to, but he did to save her. Both of us did it for her, brother."
"You're both Marked and part of his Death Eaters, to protect yourselves and her?" clarified Sirius when he finally gathered his thoughts and gained his voice again.
"Yes," replied Regulus shortly.
"Why didn't you go to Dumbledore?" asked Sirius. He had heard rumours that the headmaster had been building a group to fight against the so-called Dark Lord.
"You are joking right?" sneered Regulus, at Sirius' look of indignation, Regulus continued, "He already knew! Your precious headmaster cares not what happens to the children of Death Eaters or Slytherins."
"What do you mean he already knew?" Sirius asked suspiciously, the headmaster would not allow students to be Marked while underage. He would protect them, that was what the good side did, they fought to protect those that needed it.
"After our brawl, he kept me behind, yeah? He looked into my mind, spoke to me as if he knew what I had done, and he did nothing. He neither offered help or protection. He left me to my fate, and they haven't exactly been quiet about their new friendliness with Barty. Your headmaster is not blind, brother, he knows what happens in his school!"
Sirius didn't want to believe it, the headmaster fought against Grindelwald and won. Had defeated the dark evil and was at it once again. He couldn't abandon people that needed help just because they were born on the wrong side. Shaking his head of the thoughts, that wasn't important right now. Hermione was.
"So, Hermione was tortured for hours with Crucio and then carved up with that sadistic knife of Bella's?" Sirius asked, he had to know if there was anything that could help them wake her.
"It lasted almost two hours and yes that knife," Regulus confirmed. Sirius recalled the curses that Bellatrix used to boast she had added to the already dark weapon. He remembered one of them being a curse that made you recall your memories and nightmares constantly until you could fight through them. It explained why she hadn't woken yet; she was still reliving her life and nightmares.
"I hate to ask, but has she had many hardships in her life besides the capture and the isolation from her House and loss of you and Barty?" Sirius asked awkwardly. He didn't like asking personal questions about her that she couldn't answer herself, private information that only she should choose to share if she wanted. However, he had to know, would it be dangerous to attempt a potion to speed up the process or would that be dangerous because she had more bad memories that just what he knew.
"You're asking because of the nightmare curse, aren't you?" asked Regulus, at Sirius' nod, Regulus sighed, "I met her first at Flourish and Blotts, I didn't know she was Muggleborn at first. She didn't share her last name and she was so informed on magical things we talked about. We met Barty shortly after we met and at the end of the summer, she told us the truth. She lived at the Leaky, had her own room all summer."
Sirius wanted to ask so many questions, but he let Regulus proceed with what he felt comfortable sharing about his best friend.
"Her parents are very proper, strict like our parents, but about being normal and respectful muggles. Women aren't allowed to do anything, and they already disliked her choices at being an outspoken girl, and then her magic appeared. They deemed her a freak and stopped speaking and caring for her. After first year she went home, hoping perhaps they missed her while she was at school. It was a week of not hearing from her that Barty and I sent a letter to the school, asking to check on her. After a month McGonagall finally got her out, they were keeping her locked in a room and weren't going to let her go to school again. She would return to her parents for a week and then stay at the Leaky for the summer.
"Hogwarts is unkind to her; her own house despises her and bullies her. Slytherin curses and hexes her while also muttering insults to her. Hufflepuff and Gryffindor never step in, even if they witness it. Your mate Potter's precious Evans would snicker whenever she was around. Then you have the fact Barty and I, the two people she learned to trust and be herself with, abandoned her just like her parents. Therefore, yes, Sirius, I believe that she has quite a few nightmares to endure."
Sirius stared ahead at his brother at a loss for words. How could she have gone through all that? She always kept her head up, her eyes sparking with fight and fire, intelligence radiating from her. How could she be so composed, he was a reckless mess and he had three best friends that never abandoned him, friends throughout three houses, and pseudo-parents that told him they loved him like another son.
"Do you visit her?" Regulus finally asked the question he had been dying to ask since he heard she was here.
"Every day," answered Sirius truthfully.
"Why?" Regulus cocked his head to the side, observing his brother. Sirius felt his cheeks heat up, the blush forming as he tried to think of the right words.
"I like her," he mumbled, the toe of his shoe kicking the floor.
"What was that?" smirked Regulus.
"I like her alright? She caught my attention last year when she kept standing up for you, and everybody else, I pranked-"
"Bullied" coughed Regulus.
"Whatever," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I wrote her over the summer with no reply. I thought she just didn't want to give me the time of day, but then I didn't see her at the feast or the days following. I never noticed how much I observed her in the Great Hall because when she was gone, I noticed, and it didn't sit right. Remus was in the Hospital Wing and noticed her, he came and told me, and I immediately went to visit. I knew what happened immediately, but I had to know why," Sirius explained.
"Did you see her arm?" Regulus asked reluctantly, he wanted to know, yet he didn't. Sirius nodded and grimaced, "What did she carve?"
"You don't want to know, Reggie," whispered Sirius, he knew his brother would taste ash in his mouth knowing he had called her the word, had screamed it in her face.
"She, she wrote that word…" Regulus trailed off, the look of pain in Sirius' face being all the confirmation he needed. "Oh Merlin. I need to go; I need to talk to Barty. He's been distraught, he's completely losing himself."
Sirius didn't say anything to Regulus' mutterings, he could tell his brother was just talking to himself and hadn't meant to share so much about Barty. It was a miracle that he even shared that Barty was Marked, but he had to, in order to explain what happened to Hermione. He understood though, he had been watching Barty and losing himself was a bit of an understatement. The boy was delving into madness.
Regulus glanced at his brother one last time, thanked him for telling him about Hermione and ran from the room. Sirius sat there for a few minutes longer trying to process everything. Hermione had been captured as punishment and enticement for gaining a new Death Eater. Regulus was forced into it as well. If they were both coerced, how many others had been? Why was Dumbledore not protecting the students in his school? He didn't like Slytherins, and he would admit it was because he resented his own family, not because they were all evil.
The conversation also made Sirius realize that he had treated his brother terribly since he was sorted into Slytherin. He had turned on him the moment he was sorted because it was another thing pointing towards his little brother turning into his other family members. However, in doing that he had forced Regulus to pretend to believe it for self-preservation and he had never even considered that. Had just assumed that being in Slytherin like his other family, made him like his other family. Sirius had been so very wrong.
He was so stupid. He didn't even reconsider it when Andromeda had shown her true colours herself and ran off with a Muggleborn Hufflepuff after acting like the perfect Slytherin pureblood princess for the last seven years. How could he not even consider that to survive Slytherin and the Black family you had to pretend to believe their nonsense? Because Sirius couldn't. He couldn't pretend thus he had assumed that everyone else just believed what they said because he did. He spoke very honestly about how they were bigoted morons, and he didn't believe in their nonsense. Andromeda, and now Regulus, were proving that they didn't believe what they said to their family.
Sirius walked out of the room towards the Hospital Wing once more. He sat in his usual seat and pulled Hermione's small hand into his once again.
"Come on, Hermione. Fight through those dreams. We can't give you a potion to speed it up, it's too dangerous with everything you endured," Sirius whispered to the unconscious witch, he hoped she could hear him. "You're a fighter, such a strong witch and I know you will pull through. I will never leave you, never abandon you. Marauders are for life, and you are now an honourary Marauder. We will never abandon you; you can always count on me."
-oOo-
Hermione had experienced her entire life again; she had had to watch her parents love deteriorate for her again. She had to endure the bullying from muggle school, the loss of Mrs. Anderson, watching her father press the cigar to her book again. She relived getting her letter and the chance at starting again, only to be discouraged by the prejudice of Muggleborns. The bright side had been reliving finding Regulus and Barty, gaining best friends, and spending every day together at school and over the summer. Receiving gifts for the first time and every year following with thoughtful gifts from her friends. It was the love and happiness that made it so much harder to relive them leaving her.
Abandoned again.
She never thought she would lose them but they both left.
And that memory lead into the worst of all of them. She remembered the pain of the man that captured her, hitting her with the torture curse twice. She recalled the fear standing before the dark wizard, Voldemort, but she refused to show it. Reliving the cruelty of the female Death Eater witch, that was brutal. She had never felt such pain, it lasted hours and hours. She remembered her memories slipping, confusion clouding her brain as she tried to decipher what she was remembering, feeling her sanity slipping by her. When she finally thought she was free, the pain was amplified by that sharp blade. Seeing the word in her skin sent her into a panic but she was locked in the memory. Was she going insane? She remembered living this, why was she enduring it all again? Was she dead and this was what happened after death? Just reliving your entire life over and over with no escape? No ability to wake up or change the dream or memory?
Hermione watched as the darkness clouded her vision and the life she remembered ended. Would she wake up now or would she need to endure all of it again?
She felt the darkness receding again and a bright light overtaking her vision. When she could finally take in her surroundings, they were completely different than anything she remembered. She was in a home that looked nothing like hers but was obviously still muggle. There was a television, but it looked much bigger than she recalled, there was no wood panelling and small screen, it was a large screen with some smaller box beside it. A cartoon was playing with a red-haired girl using a fork as a hairbrush and a singing Frenchman trying to catch a lobster. What was this? Hermione looked around and noticed she was sitting on a couch snuggled between two people. Her parents had never held her this close.
"Mummy is there a book about this?" she asked the woman beside her.
"Yes, my honey-bunny but it isn't very child-friendly," replied the woman that was apparently her mother. Hermione huffed and the memory changed. Memory after memory showed her two parents that cared greatly for her. They were dentists, even the mother! They taught her lessons about showing kindness to everyone and encouraging her to constantly learn and educate herself on anything she wanted because she could be anything she wanted. It was overwhelming how much care these parents showed her, was this a form of hell to show her something that she never had?
She watched as she experienced muggle school in this life, they were just as cruel but didn't physically bully her as much as her life as Hermione McCallister so that was nice. This Hermione also received a Hogwarts letter, yet these parents were excited for her! They encouraged her and told her she was special, and this proved it. She was completely shocked when Professor McGonagall came and introduced her to the wizarding world again.
While this Hermione's world was very different, films that could be played on something called a VHS at home, she loved the music that this life offered her, rock and roll was huge, and she loved dancing with this Hermione's father. She learned that this life she was called Hermione Granger and was born in 1979 rather than 1959. She didn't understand how she was seeing a decade she had never lived but she was enjoying it, this Granger girl had so much she wished she had.
However, as much as the muggle life and her parents were different. Hogwarts and the wizarding world weren't much different. Muggleborns were still viewed as inferior, dirty, filthy. There had been no advancement, while the technology for wizards had advanced, not even the fashion or uniforms had changed in her lives. This Hermione though, didn't have her friends. Barty and Regulus were nowhere. She was alone and no one liked her here either. Somehow, she was a Gryffindor, even though she read as much as she did as a Ravenclaw.
Hermione experienced a lot in Hogwarts as Granger. She escaped a mountain troll, became best friends with boys named Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Harry Potter of course being James Potter's son that somehow got Lily Evans to finally fall in love with him. Not only that, in this world, Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort and she couldn't be more relieved. He was a monster that deserved to be exterminated. Yet, he wasn't completely gone. Throughout her years at Hogwarts, she watched her, and her two friends overcome challenges and protect the Philosophers stone. She was petrified by a Basilisk, while Harry killed it with a sword. She used a Time Turner and learned about Sirius Black.
Hermione was shocked. The boy that she had come to care for, to think of in inappropriate ways, betrayed his best friend. She wondered where Regulus was, did he not become a Death Eater because in this world Sirius did what his parents wanted of him all along? Was he tricking James Potter the entire time at Hogwarts?
Hermione hated where her thoughts had taken her, she had doubted Sirius when he was still the true, loyal friend he was in her world. He never betrayed James Potter; they had both been betrayed by Pettigrew.
The world of Hermione Granger only grew darker as her fourth year saw the resurrection of the man that had her tortured. She gasped when Barty was mentioned, he had become a Death Eater without her torture in this world, he had turned into one of them and enjoyed it. He was who brought Voldemort back. She couldn't allow him to spiral into that in her world. Barty was such a kind, carefree boy, she didn't want him to lose that.
She had to endure a professor treating her as inferior because of her blood. The pain she felt from her torture was nothing in comparison to the pain she felt when she watched Sirius Black fall through a death veil at the hands of Bellatrix. She would take her torture a thousand times over if it meant Sirius never fell through that veil in her world.
She witnessed the Malfoy boy deteriorate in health like her Regulus. Was he pressured and coerced the same as Regulus and Barty? The forest in a tent following Dumbledore's death was bleak, hunting for horcruxes. Voldemort must have done that in her world too, there was no conceivable way that madman wouldn't search for immortality in every life he lived. She watched the experiences of the hunt with keen eyes, she had to remember every detail.
Diary, created from killing Moaning Myrtle, given to the Malfoys.
The depressed ghost was part of her world, perhaps this was a potential future timeline and all these horcruxes were in her world too, the exact same objects and designated Death Eaters.
Locket, created from an unknown, untraced murder, hidden in a cave.
A cave where her dear sweet Regulus sacrificed himself to retrieve. She always knew he had a good heart, even without meeting a Muggleborn girl he had recognized that his family's beliefs were ridiculous. She would ensure that he did not sacrifice himself to prove he was good. She would prevent that with everything inside her.
Hufflepuff's Cup, created from killing Hepzibah Smith, given to Bellatrix Lestrange to store in Gringotts.
Ravenclaw's Diadem, unknown who was killed to create it, stored in the Room of Hidden Things.
She would need to look for the Room and Requirement and investigate if it was there in her world if she ever woke up again.
The Gaunt Ring, created from killing his own muggle father, and hidden in the old Gaunt shack.
The last horcrux, Nagini, was not turned until after he was resurrected.
As her life continued, Hermione Granger experienced the same agony Hermione McCallister felt, from the same tormentor. Bellatrix Lestrange used the same curses, the same blade, with the same word carved.
'Not very imaginative,' Hermione thought dryly.
Hermione watched as her Granger life took her to Gringotts, onto a dragon's back for a daring escape. This was why Granger was a Gryffindor. The next memory she relived was a battle, screaming and smoke, flashed of curses, hexes, spells, every colour flying. Hermione was impressed with Granger's dueling ability, with every spell leaving her lips Hermione McCallister recognized something.
The familiar feeling, it was there. It was constantly there for every spell leaving her lips, the power leaving her wand. That familiar feeling and ability to perform magic so easily was because Hermione Granger had done it before.
This wasn't just a different world she was watching, this was a past life.
She had lived this.
It was all confirmed when she watched Harry Potter's reaction to the wall falling on her. The heartbreak in his face and the need to make him better, protect him at all costs.
When the darkness overcame her vision again, a darkness she didn't want at all.
"No! NO, Harry!" she screamed. Harry Potter was just as important to her as Regulus Black and Barty Crouch Jr. They were her brothers, all three of them and she would die for them all. "Don't make me leave him!"
The darkness overcame her, and she thought of taking his place, protecting him.
"Would you?" an ethereal voice spoke into the darkness.
"Would I what?" she answered.
"Would you take the place of the Chosen One if you could?"
"Absolutely, Harry didn't deserve any of that, especially an orphan raised by the Dursley's. I would always protect him," Hermione spoke honestly.
"You would forfeit your own life?" it asked curiously.
"I already have," snarked Hermione, "I have always put him first."
"As you wish."
Hermione remembered this happening before but this time the memories didn't disappear, they stayed in place along with her memories of Hermione McCallister.
The darkness closed in on her, squeezing her tightly to the point she couldn't breathe. She began panicking and took the biggest breath she could. Suddenly her breath returned to her in a whoosh of air that entered her so quickly, her eyes shot open, and she sat up clutching at her throat dragging in air to her lungs.
"Hermione?" a voice said in the dark Hospital Wing. Hermione clenching her neck looked over into the silver eyes of an alive Sirius Black.
"Sirius," she croaked, her eyes filling with tears falling into his chest wrapping her arms around him tightly, holding him as if he would vanish any moment.
A/N: Hope you liked that one! Please read and review, favourite and follow would be great too!