A/N: As I'm sure you have figured out by now, this whole episode is a little heavy. I'm trying to balance it, but…well, sometimes life is heavy. Hang with me, more shenanigans will show their face at the appropriate time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"Casey thinks you could be a help to me," Chuck blurted, feeling nervous. He didn't know why he felt nervous. He thought over the last three years he and Carina had a good relationship. He wouldn't call them best friends, but he did think of her as one.

"I'm not touching that," she muttered, trying not to chuckle. She was silent a moment, then shook her head. "That big oaf thinks a lot of things. Come on, let me drop you off at the agency."

"Why does Casey think that you could help me on this case?" Chuck asked.

"Leave this alone, Chuckles," Carina said plainly, turning and heading toward her car. Chuck followed her. "Casey worries about me, and by bringing you down here under the guise of helping you with a case, he has someone else besides him looking out for me." She got in the car, and Chuck hurried to the passenger side, worried he'd be left. He shut the door, and she started the car.

"I get it, he worries, and he doesn't like worrying about people," Carina went on. "He seems to forget that I'm pretty handy with a knife as well." She was silent for a bit as Chuck processed all of that. "That's what I like about you, Chuckles. Sure, you worry about Blondie, but you know she can take care of herself. You'd help her, but you respect her."

"When you love someone, you don't always think clearly, Carina," Chuck said softly. Her features softened as he said that. "You know things, but the fear of losing that which you love…"

"You sayin' John loves me?"

"You know damn well he does," Chuck told her. "And you know what losing his friend did to him."

"I do," Carina admitted.

"Maybe you should try talking to him," Chuck offered. She scoffed. "Funny, seems both of you have some ideas about the other that are incorrect, and both of you are too stubborn to actually have a conversation." Carina pulled up to the agency, and turned to face Chuck. Chuck reached for the door handle. "I know, it's not my place, but I do hate it when two people love each other and can't get past petty bullshit."

"You know most guys wouldn't have the sack to say these things to me," Carina pointed out.

"I'm not most guys, Carina."

"I know," she said softly, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I know."

Chuck got out of the car, pausing before shutting the door. "I also know you deflected something with what you told me. A family lost their husband, and father. Anything you can tell me will let that family get some justice. It won't make up for losing him, but it would be some small bit of closure."

Carina was silent for a second. "I gotta go write a column," she said. "See you later."

"Bye, Carina," Chuck said. She waved and took off. He straightened and watched her drive away. He wasn't sure what just happened, but he was sure it was something.

He started up the stairs to the office, opened the door, and paused. Sarah stood there, leaning against the door frame to her office with arms crossed, and an amused smile on her face. "What did I do?"

"I don't know, what did you do?" Sarah asked. Chuck looked to Anna for help. Anna shrugged.

Chuck looked back at Sarah and tried a different approach. "Say you were the doctor that was attacked, and you had the skills that you have from your previous employer." Sarah straightened, intrigued. "What would have happened if that person would have attacked you?"

"I mean, I can only tell you what I think would happen, but when I felt that pressure on my neck and shoulders, I would have already been twisting and attacking," Sarah said. "That was something we did a lot when I was with the CATS. We would practice noticing the pressure against our bodies that came right before an attack. I'm not saying he wouldn't have stabbed me, but I don't think it would have been fatal. And I question if that person would have walked away."

"Carina was part of CATS, right?"

"Yes," Sarah replied.

"And Casey knows all of this?"

"I assume," Sarah responded. "Where is this going?"

"I'm not sure I should say," Chuck said, not wanting to betray confidences.

"Is this about Carina always checking on people in that homeless encampment near the hospital where the doctor was murdered?" Anna asked. Both Chuck and Sarah gave her a look. "What? Part of me proving to Casey that I could work here was me trailing Carina without her knowing."

"You trailed Carina without her knowing?" Chuck asked, a little stunned.

"Oh, no," Anna said. "One night after I trailed her, I was going home when I found myself pressed up against the door with a knife to my throat. I wasn't sure if she was going to kill me or kiss me." The look on Anna's face seemed to be one of… fervor.

"Well?" Sarah asked. "She obviously didn't kill you."

"Eh," Chuck said with a shrug. "I'm not entirely certain that Carina's not a necromancer."

"Medieval practitioners believed they could accomplish three things with necromancy; will manipulation, illusions, and knowledge," Anna agreed.

"And most describe Necromancers are quick-witted," Chuck added. "It's also believed that Necromancers value moments in life rather than objects." He paused and gave Sarah a significant look. "And we know how she feels about certain moments in life."

"What the hell is going on?" Sarah asked, feeling lost.

"Also, the positive qualities of Necromancers are that they are daring, polished, and stern," Anna added. "Whereas the negative qualities are that they are often over-critical, extreme, and erratic."

"You two have done this for everyone we work with, haven't you?" Sarah asked.

"No," Chuck said, turning to Sarah. "I haven't figured out yet if you're an angel or a goddess." Anna made a gagging noise, with a motion like she was vomiting. Chuck realized he may have gone a bit too far, turned, and headed into his office. Sarah stood there, grinning and shaking her head at him, and wondering how to show him how much she appreciated what he had said when they got home tonight.

}o{

He walked into his apartment that evening, confused. Confused about Casey, confused about Carina, and honestly… confused about Sarah. They were together, he knew that, but the looks Anna had given them… had he messed up? He dropped his messenger bag by the door and walked over to the couch. Putting his feet up as he laid back, he shut his eyes. Last night had been tiring… in a good way. He couldn't help but grin as he fell asleep.

}o{

Sarah walked up to Chuck's door and paused. She didn't know why. She had done this hundreds of times. When she needed someone to talk to, it was Chuck she came to. When she felt alone, it was always Chuck she had come to see. She had showed up so many times unannounced that no one could find this different from all the times before. She had stayed the night so many times that Carina asked her why she even had her own apartment, she should just be using Chuck's spare bedroom.

She knew why she had never been his roommate… she couldn't trust herself. There were long periods of time where she could resist the call – the attraction – between them, but there were periods of times… she could not. And that was when she had to flee to her safe haven.

She didn't have to resist any more. She needed to be honest with Chuck. One reason she wanted things quiet about them, was that she needed a reason to not be around him every waking moment. They worked together, and if they were to live together… she worried she might smother him.

God, who in the hell was she? She thought she had known who she was as a CIA agent. But over the last three years… talking to Chuck at work, at his apartment, at her apartment, at the beach, at the mall, just wherever… she learned who she was had been buried deep inside her.

She thought being around someone all the time would be the worst thing possible. But with Chuck… she felt like he belonged in her bubble. No one else had ever felt like they belonged like he had. Sarah did not want to be the clingy, possessive girlfriend. She had to apologize to him. He had come back to work today, and she was a little upset.

Not necessarily with him, but that she couldn't go with him to meet Carina. She knew it was silly. She knew once he had his full license, there would be times that it made sense for them to split up. Chuck could do paperwork, but she had years of experience at it at the federal level. Chuck replied that he had years of Buy More paperwork. And while retail paperwork was ridiculous, there was something about government paperwork that was a special slice of hell that made Chuck sweat a bit.

He told her he felt bad. He told her it wasn't right, and it looked like he was pushing the paperwork on her. So as often as he could, he did it. However, they both knew it took him twice if not three times as long to complete it as it did her. And so, when they were in a time crunch, she did it… no questions asked.

They also knew that Chuck had a way of getting things out of people that she didn't. As Chuck said, she could scare water out of a rock. But by the same token, there were those that it was easier to draw flies with honey, or some weird aphorism like that. That… that was where Chuck came in. He had a level of empathy and compassion such that she had never seen. People just opened up to him. She was sure whatever was going with Carina and the homeless encampment…. that was something that needed Chuck more than her. It made absolute sense for the two of them to split up. It was more efficient.

But damn it, she wanted to be with him.

She wanted to roll her eyes at herself. This was so new, and weird… and yet… yet, it wasn't. Because nothing had changed between them, intimacy-wise. And she knew people would think she had lost her damn mind, if she had said that out loud. Yes, they were now having sex; yes, they were making love. But the intimacy between them… it had always been there. She had been a damn fool thinking that she couldn't be with him.

"Sarah!" she heard from across the courtyard. Sarah turned, hoping she hadn't been standing there for a while. She saw Ellie. "Hey, can you come over here for a minute?"

"Sure," Sarah chirped and headed across the courtyard. Ellie greeted her with a hug, and the two went inside. "Something wrong?"

"No, not wrong but…" Ellie trailed off. "Listen, Rene has agreed for you to come by tomorrow, but… she's hurt, Sarah." Ellie paused for a moment, searching for her words. "I love my brother, I do, but we both know that sometimes, he can take things personally."

"She's lashing out," Sarah said, nodding. "Don't worry, I'll protect him." It just came out of her mouth without thinking, because it was true. And she would.

"I know," Ellie said, giving Sarah a smile. "I knew I didn't even have to say anything, and you would. I just worry about him."

"Ellie, I promise you, I will always make sure he's okay." Ellie stood there, trying to contain the smile on her face. She didn't say anything, but simply pulled Sarah in for a huge hug. "He means everything to me."

"When did you finally figure it out?" Ellie asked. Sarah pulled away, her eyes wide. "What? You think none of us know what you two were fighting?"

Sarah had been a spy for a long time, and she caught the most important word in that sentence… were. "I don't know what you mean," she managed to get out. "He's my best friend."

Ellie chuckled. "Sweetie, Devon is my best friend."

Sarah stood there a moment, and suddenly couldn't stop the words coming out of her mouth. "We had been working together for about two weeks. I was having my period, and we were in the conference room when I got a craving for fries. Not just fries, but hot fries. And I just blurted it out… that I really wanted fries. He just looked at me, confused, and I apologized and told him that during my cycle I can sometimes crave food. He was silent for a moment, and then do you know what he said?"

"No," Ellie said, grinning. She didn't know exactly what he said, but she had a general idea.

"He told me, 'Your uterus wall is shredding, so if you want fries, if you'll tell me from where, I will go there and get them." Ellie began to chuckle. "You get it."

"Yeah, he didn't make it weird, he didn't completely understand. But he got that it was as uncomfortable as hell, and he wanted to make your life easier," Ellie replied. Sarah nodded. "But he would do that for anyone."

"I know!" Sarah said. "But it's the thoughtfulness. It was just the last damn straw. I gave up trying to believe that I couldn't fall for him. And by that, I mean by that point I already had."

"And you held out for three years," Ellie said.

"I don't-"

"Sarah, Morgan knows," Ellie told her. "After I saw you two at the hospital, I knew."

"Oh, God," Sarah said, burying her head in her hands.

"And I know why," Ellie said gently. Sarah lifted her head. "We're a lot, we do smother him sometimes."

"Ellie, it's not that, it's me," Sarah admitted. "I'm… I'm afraid I will become that girlfriend that just clings and want to be with him all the time."

"I don't think that's clinging," Ellie said. "Wanting to be with someone, and not letting them live their life, are two totally different things."

Sarah stood there, thinking about that. "I just… I just like him around. It's fine if it's complete silence, or he's playing his video games, or whatever. I just… damn it." She took a deep breath. "He's the first person that has felt like home in a long, long time."

"Then go home, Sarah," Ellie told her. "You have to know how happy I am."

"I knew you'd be fine with it, it's just… I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to screw it up."

Ellie burst out laughing.

Sarah looked at her, puzzled. "What?"

"Sarah, in the three years I've known you, I've learned when you set your mind to something, it happens," Ellie told her with a grin. "You are going to make sure this happens. It may not be easy, but Sarah Walker doesn't quit."

"I am kinda stubborn that way," Sarah admitted, looking at the floor and grinning. She looked back up at Ellie, almost shyly. "He's the best."

"And you're the best," Ellie said, giving her a hug. Sarah felt relief she didn't even know she needed to feel.

}o{

He woke, feeling a pair of lips pressed softly to his. He knew those lips. He had dreamed of those lips on his many times, if he were being honest about the past few years. "Mmmm," he hummed, trying to open his eyes. He felt those lips smile against his. "This is the best way to wake up, ever."

"How do you know it's not Morgan?" Sarah asked

His eyes popped open, shocked. "I thought it was!" She laughed and shook her head at him. "You don't have the facial hair he does."

"I'm also taller," Sarah told him, her face still over his. She was on her knees by the couch. "And blonder."

"I'm not touching that," Chuck muttered, making her laugh. "Am I being too cheesy if I say I enjoyed being woken up that way, and would like that arrangement for every time I wake up?"

"Huh… well, I guess you can have that," Sarah said with a shrug. "I had other ways I could try." She gave him a salacious grin, and his mouth went instantly dry.

"Uhhhh," Chuck managed to get out, but that was all he could say. He was pretty sure his brain had just locked up, and quite possibly imploded.

"What do you think I mean?" Sarah asked, faux shocked.

"Uhhhh," Chuck continued to say. "I have no idea."

"Oh, I think you do," Sarah said, and then tsked at him. "Listen, we can talk about your improper thoughts about me in a minute."

"I've never-" he began, and Sarah quickly raised an eyebrow, all while smirking. He clamped his mouth shut. "I apologize."

"No need," she said softly. "But, we need to have a serious conversation." Chuck nodded. "Ellie knows."

"When you say knows…" Chuck began.

"I think you know what I mean when I say knows," Sarah replied.

He was silent for a second. "I mean, how can either of us be shocked?"

"Also, Morgan knows."

"I'm suspecting the other day didn't fool him," Chuck began.

"I suspect not," Sarah agreed.

"I mean, it's okay. I understand you can't keep your hands off me," Chuck continued.

Sarah mocked gasped, swatting his arm. "Well, you're the one with ideas on how I should wake you up."

"You should see the ideas I have about me waking you up," Chuck countered.

"I think I'd like to see them," Sarah said, bouncing an eyebrow. She giggled at Chuck's eyes crossing. "Hey, focus."

"Imma focusing, Imma focusing," he muttered. "Seriously, what am I supposed to be focusing on."

"What do we do, now that they know?" Sarah asked. Chuck studied her, finding no mask there. Shyness, uncertainty and, dare he say, worry lined her features. He pushed up on his elbow nearest her, reached over and cupped her cheek.

"What do you want to do?" Chuck asked her. "I mean, I have no problem with anyone knowing."

"I don't either," she rushed out. "I was just… I was scared that if I didn't have some kind of… barrier, or something… Chuck." She blew out a breath. "Jesus, I suck at this."

"What, at not knowing how to put your feelings into words?" Chuck asked her. She nodded. "What about having one of your biggest wishes come true, and when it did, it was overwhelming? And-and, I'm saying that. Me, one of my wishes came true and… it's a lot. Sarah-freaking-Walker likes me."

"She more than likes you, Chuck Bartowski," Sarah said softly. She crawled up on the couch beside him. His back was to the couch, their fronts pressed together, his arms wrapped around her ostensibly to prevent her falling. But Chuck knew she had the grace and balance of a cat. He was just holding her, because he wanted to. "You mean so much to me, and I want to be around you, a lot."

"Well, that's a problem, because I want to be around you, a lot," Chuck countered.

"How's that a problem?"

"Well, who gets to be around whom?"

"Is that correct grammar?"

"I have no idea," Chuck admitted. "I don't know if you know this, but when my girlfriend gets close to me, my brain breaks a little, and I have trouble with things."

"Who's this girlfriend you're talking about?" Sarah asked, grinning.

"You," he said softly, rubbing his nose against hers.

"You better watch it, buster," Sarah warned him. "You keep this up, and I'm going to keep you."

"I thought you were better at threats than that."

"Fair warning, you're not going to get rid of me if you continue down this foolish path," Sarah warned.

Chuck blinked. "That is the worst threat I've heard in my life." He paused, then narrowed his eyes at her. "Unlessssss, that's it!" he said, snapping his fingers of his hand behind her back. "You're using reverse psychology on me."

"Oh, rats," she said dramatically, snuggling against him. "You caught me, whatever shall I do?"

"Do you think tonight we could…. kinda have a low key night?" Chuck asked her. She looked up at him. "Today… today was something, and it affected me more than I wanted to admit in front of Anna."

"Of course, baby," Sarah said softly, kissing his forehead. He sighed contently, and Sarah thought she might just melt. "But I have to warn you, we got the okay to talk to our victim's widow."

"She doesn't like me, does she?" Chuck asked.

"No," Sarah admitted.

"I doget it," Chuck replied, blowing out a frustrated breath. "For six weeks that detective told her how he had the man that killed her husband, and then I show up and everything gets thrown out the window."

"They had blamed an innocent man," Sarah reminded him.

"Yeah, but she still lost her husband," Chuck said.

"Okay, up," she said, getting off the couch. "You're going to shower, and then we're getting in bed and watching tv until you fall asleep, as I hold you."

"Promise?"

"I do," she told him.

"Thank you, Sarah."

"It's totally my pleasure."

A/N: Next time:

"I want to be perfectly clear about something, Chuck Bartowski."

"It's never good when you use my full name," he muttered.

"I didn't say Charles Irving Bartowski," she said softly, keeping the serious look on her face, but the corners of her mouth turning into the hint of a smile.

"Wait, that felt like that was hot," Chuck said, shaking his head.

"Me reading a phone book would sound hot to you," Sarah pointed out.

"I really wish they were still around," he muttered.

She grabbed his jaw gently, but firmly between her thumb and forefinger. "Focus," she said softly, but with maximum intensity.

….*Sigh* these two. Come on back next time, yeah, it will have some heavy moments, but it will also have…well…THAT *points toward the part in italics*.