Sorry for the late posting. There was a series of events that just made it hard for me to write this past week. First, the major cold wave hit and I had errands to run and I don't have a car...lol...So, I was out and about in -15 degree weather and ended up getting sick. Then, thanks to the cold, my Seasonal Affective Disorder kicked into high gear and that combined with being sick made me hybernate for three days straight, pretty much. Finally, I ended up with food poisoning. I had one helluva week...XP

"You sure you want to take them out there?" Maggie asked Ani as she helped her pack up the babies' things.

"I don' want ta be 'ere with little ta nah help and I can' take Lou away from 'is daddy. He's grown really attached ta 'im. I jus' know I ain' goin' ta be able ta handle the three a 'em without D, and I'm sick a only gettin' 'im half the time," Ani responded.

"You know, Bertie and Agatha are really good at takin' care of babies. You could leave them-"

"Fuck that! I ain' doin' it!" Ani shouted, louder than she had meant to, waking the babies she had strapped to her chest. After she calmed them down and took a deep breath, she told Maggie, "Sorry. I've been havin' problems sleepin' that don' involve the kids, who jus' add to it."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nah, it's nothin' major. Jus'...thinkin' 'bout leavin' 'em with someone else, it made me start havin' nightmares sometimes. It ain' nothin' new, ya know? Had the same problems with Lou, but with the bridge and everyone out there, that's changed shite. Phia and Merle are out there, and they're the only people I'd be able ta really leave 'em with. They're the only people I have left Lou with for more'n an hour."

"You've left him with Beth."

"But she's out at the bridge with Tara. And it was only for maybe an hour and a half. And 'e likes 'er. And ya know it's hard ta travel back and forth without a horse, and me and D ain' too fond a horses. That's why I had that little wagon built for the ATV. It fits 'em all in there and has propa places ta affix car seats and shite."

"Is that what that's for?" Maggie asked with a face showing both concern and fear. "I don't think I could put Hershel in a vehicle like that. That's why I leave him here when I go out to the bridge. I just can't take him out there."

"I don' blame ya, I jus' can' do it alone. And they're goin' ta need ta get used ta the woods, too."

"So, you're going through with your plan to move to the woods?"

"Not right now, but we're still goin' ta be teachin' 'em ta hunt some day," Ani said with a shrug.

"True."

"Betta ta start now than lata. If they learn it naturally as they grow up, it'll be easia than havin' that kind a life forced on 'em when they're used ta somethin' like this. Look at how few a the kids in Alexandria knew how ta savive. How many a 'em savived the horde? They didn' even know how ta use a gun! At least we were keepin' the kids at the prison in shape and tellin' 'em the way a things. They weren' good with guns yet, but they were gettin' there. It's betta ta get 'em used ta what it means now. I mean, Carl's been teachin' Judy 'bout the stars and how ta navigate 'em, and she's only almost four."

"But the twins are newborns. Are you sure you want them out there? I mean, they might not cry a lot, but they do cry."

"Yeah, normally for butt changes and shite, but they don' cry a lot. Ain' like it was with Judy as a baby. They get their food from me, so it ain' like they're goin' ta go hungry for howeva long it takes ta find 'em some formula or somethin'."

"That's true. It really did make it easier and Hershel didn't cry as much as Judith did, either. What are you gonna do with Lou, though? He's still gonna need milk."

"Oh, Cars is takin' care a that. They've got some goats at the Kingdom, so she gave one ta us and had Zeke bring it out a day or two ago. We've got it cova'd."

"You're always thinking ahead, aren't you?"

"Ya can' say that ya ain' always thinkin' ahead, eitha. Ya already plannin' for how ta manage winta with the amount a food ya sendin' ta the bridge and Sanctuary. Face it, Mags, this is jus' how our brains work."

The door swung open, causing them both to stop and look at Daryl as he entered the room, asking, "You almost done?"

"Yeah, jus' got ta finish packin' the diapas and bottles," Ani answered him.

"You sure you want to take the-" he started only for Ani to cut him off.

"Ya ask me 'bout the ATV again, I'm rippin' ya balls off," she shot at him before sighing. "Both ya and Merle wasted 'nough gas testin' that thing's stability sturdiness. The car seat bases are literally bolted, bolted, ta the damn wood. Merle went twenny miles out a the way jus' ta find the damn car seats to begin with! The roof is reinforced with sheet steel. It's as safe as a car, prolly. And it's fasta than a horse. We can get away a hell a a lot fasta with it than without."

"How are you gonna get out fast with the kids?" Maggie asked.

"I'll prolly have the twins strapped ta me most a the time and I can grab Lou and tell 'im ta sit in 'is seat. Won' have time ta get 'im strapped in, prolly, but damn if I won' be able ta get a good 'nough head start ta where I can stop afta only a couple minutes and get 'em all strapped in and safely situated 'fore the walkas catch up. Then we can truly get the fuck out a dodge," Ani said with a shrug. "Like ya said, I think 'bout a lot a shite and make sure I have a plan ta get out."

Their conversation ended there as the three adults finished getting the babies' things ready and started taking them outside. Bowie and Hunter were already fastened into their car seats, which Merle had ended up getting in trouble with several individuals for. It wasn't just the fact that he had gone so far out of his way just to find them, but the fact that he had been gone for just over a week without anyone knowing where he'd went. Daryl had wanted to go out looking for him, but considering he'd taken a horse and buggy and hadn't given them a heading, the man had no way of finding his brother. It wasn't like when Ani and Merle had disappeared at the prison to go toe to toe with the Governor in a place Daryl had been to before. Ani had done her best to reassure him that Merle would be back soon enough, but when he'd finally come back and admitted that the seats were the reason for his delay, she threw her hands up in surrender. The man hadn't even brought back any meat, just the damn car seats, and that had made any concern of hers dissipate as soon as she noticed. She was still absolutely sick of eating eggs, chicken, or rabbits and had been really looking forward to whatever the man brought back. Not until after Daryl had finished berating his brother and both Rick and Maggie had chastised him for spending so much time without a relay was the man thanked for the safety seats.

Ani and Daryl were heading out to the bridge before lunchtime with the expectation that they'd get there right about the time the babies would need feeding. They had it planned out that Daryl would pull things out of the supply wagon and set them up while Ani fed the twins. After that, they intended on walking their small campsite to show Lou the traps Merle had set up and check on the progress of the bridge. Ani also wanted to double check the supplies of the medical tent, at least as far as the herbs, tonics, and such went, before they really settled in. It wouldn't be until the day after the next that they would officially start back to work with Daryl working on the bridge and Ani once again helping to settle disputes. Sophia and Beth had been doing decent jobs at managing the small tensions that built between some individuals, but that wasn't their official jobs. Sophia was hunting and gathering for the camp while also keeping a lookout and Beth was in charge of rations and scheduling. Ani's only job, outside of being a mother, was to make sure that everyone got along to the best of their abilities and try to keep fights from breaking out. That wasn't going to be easy when the latest report came back saying that there was even more tension at the worksite due to a push for them all to work harder. On top of that, the walk offs were still being talked about and used as an excuse, at least to Ani, to keep tensions high.

Many of the Saviors with families would travel back on the weekends and switch shifts with those working on fuel production back at the factory. That had been one of the things that had been negotiated when it came to work, but that was no longer enough for the Saviors. Ever since people had started walking away from the bridge, they had started to make demands rather than just complaints. They were no longer satisfied with being guarded or having to rely on others to ensure their safety. They wanted guns and either a wagon or more horses to travel back to the Sanctuary easier rather than only having one wagon a week that changed people out. However, the group as a whole didn't have the horses or wagons to spare with the need to cart lumber back and forth and there was no way the Saviors were being given guns. It sucked for everyone, and Carl and Sophia had started vouching for some of the Saviors, like Laura and DJ, saying that they'd proven they could be trusted. No one else would hear them out, however, and Rick told them both that it was simply impossible with how complicated the situation was. Even nearly two years after the war had ended, some on both sides simply refused to move on and he wasn't willing to risk reigniting the war over a handful of walk-offs.

"Are ya ready ta go ta our new home?" Ani asked Lou, who kicked and clapped his hands in response. "Ya goin' ta have ta be careful. Can' run off or go too far away, okay?"

"Mama!"

"Yeah, ya stay close ta mama," she chuckled while smiling down at him as Daryl walked back into the room.

"You ready to go?" he asked her.

"Ya sure ya can take both a 'em down tagetha?" she retorted.

"Ain't that damn hard."

"Then, yeah, I'm ready ta go. Get there and get settled 'fore the boys wake up."

"Think they'll wake up when we start headin' out?"

"Huh," Ani said, standing up and looking off into space before continuing, "Ya know, I didn' think 'bout that. The ATV ain' ovaly loud, though, so, it should be fine."

"You know you can come back here whenever you want," Maggie stated as she came in and grabbed the last big bag.

"I know. And I appreciate it. But," she replied, "I jus' want my family tagetha for once. Feels like, eva since spring, we've all been stretched so thin. It's goin' ta be nice, bein' with Merle and Phia again. Hell," Ani chuckled, "might be the last time we get ta be a family. Who knows when Phia'll decide she wants ta move in with Carl."

"You really think that's gonna happen?"

"I think there's a reason she can' look me in the eyes anymore when Carl is standin' next ta 'er."

~x~

The ride out to the bridge site was uneventful as far as walkers went, but it was peaceful and freeing and something Ani hadn't realized she'd missed so much. She hadn't so much as been on the back of the motorcycle in over a year and the last time she'd been on her ATV was the trip into DC roughly six months ago. Even though a part of her mind was filled with tension over the fact that she was hauling their children in the wagon behind her, the rest of it simply enjoyed the ride. It was easier to do when she could hear Lou laugh when they first started going and all the boys fell asleep sometime between the Hilltop and the halfway point. That was when Daryl and Ani had stopped to check on them and decided to take it a little slower until they got out to the camp. They'd needed to wait for the wagon with their things, but during that time, she'd been able to feed the twins while Daryl and Merle showed Lou where he was allowed to go. When their things finally arrived, they'd spent the rest of the day setting everything up and then took a stroll in the woods with the twins for the first time. They'd mainly slept against Ani's chest in their slings, but the fact that they were all in the woods had made Ani feel light-hearted as she watched Daryl teaching Lou about trails. While the young boy wouldn't understand it for a little while longer, it was an endearing moment she knew she'd treasure forever.

It wasn't too long before they put the boys down for the night and settled around a small campfire with Merle, Sophia, and Carl. They all caught up on what had happened over the last two weeks since the three had left the Hilltop and found out that another person had gone missing. Ani wasn't overly worried about it for the same reason Daryl wasn't; many of the Saviors were still not entirely trustworthy and still hated the new regime. Some were, she could admit that, but the vast majority of the group she could see trying to make things like they had been. Not enough of the Saviors had changed enough to make anyone feel safe with giving into the demands of the group and no one was surprised by the walk-offs because of it. Besides that, at least three of the Saviors that had walked off had simply decided the bridge wasn't worth it and just gone back to the Sanctuary to work on the ethanol. Another group had left to travel the roads rather than settle down because they were sick of being bossed around. It was difficult to believe that anything nefarious was happening when so many of those that walked off had been accounted for. Sure, there had been a few that had simply disappeared and the Saviors were up in arms about their missing companions, but it didn't bother the rest of the camp at all. Even Ani had a hard time really caring about a few missing Saviors when at least half of them had just gone home.

They moved on to talking about the bridge itself and how the work was going, though Merle gave them some bad news. According to Eugene, they were even further behind than they thought and it was going to take a rather large push to get back on schedule. Daryl wouldn't have as long to get used to being back in the camp before they needed him working again. Neither he nor Ani were overly thrilled about that prospect as they had been hoping they'd be able to go on a hunting trip for a day before he started back up. That wasn't possible, though, with the amount of work they needed to get done on the bridge. They needed to get more supports up, prepare more lumber, and fell more trees just to try to get things up to where they should have been. It was an unfortunate truth that there were several times that the work simply didn't get done because of fighting between the groups, usually the more unruly Saviors and individuals they'd harmed the most. Every time the Hilltop brought out a delivery, for example, Saviors like Justin and his ilk would make snide remarks or lament about 'the good ole days' when they weren't working for their food. It was almost always the old soldiers from the Saviors that stirred up the most trouble and picked the most fights. All of the Dixons knew that it was only a matter of time before the switch was ignited and an all-out brawl happened. There was no way the soldier-Saviors were going to keep being worked to the bone with limited resources to spare when they still wanted Negan's way back.

"Do you think the bridge is gonna fail?" Sophia asked as they were talking about everything.

"I don' know, love," Ani responded truthfully. "I can honestly say I hope it don', but if the people haven' worked tagetha smoothly even afta seven months, it ain' eva goin' ta happen. And, even if on the surface level it's lookin' like everyone's gettin' along, the restrictions on the Saviors prove they ain'. What's goin' on now ain' much differen' than what went on with Negan in charge. It's jus' that the roles are reversed. The Saviors don' got shite and are workin' for what they get while the rest a us are still grapplin' with the past, tryin' ta get ova it."

"But Laura, DJ, and a lot of the others, they want it to work," the young girl stated.

"Yeah, and people in hell want slurpees," Merle told her.

"There's a Hell, Michigan up north," Ani retorted. "They had slurpees."

"You know what the fuck I mean, bitch," he shot back. "Just 'cause a handful want things to work don't mean all of 'em do. We need all of 'em to want it if the work's gonna get done. A handful workin' with us don't mean shit."

"They can help us get more on our side," Carl chimed in.

"Really? Do ya really think that?" Ani deadpanned before explaining, "If the othas wanted ta work with us, ta get ova their grievances and get the shite done, they'd be doin' it already. That they ain', that they're still wantin' ta, tryin' ta, and causin' problems...I hate ta say it kiddos, but if this bridge doesn' get done quick, it ain' goin' ta get done. And if too many more Saviors walk off without knowin' the when, where, and why, the rest ain' goin' ta stay. Humans are creatures a habit and self-presavation. If the Saviors don' think they're safe, if they decide that the bridge ain' worth the risk ta their lives, they're goin' ta leave. They will choose themselves ova the communities every time. That's jus' a fact."

"Some might not," Sophia tried to argue. "Some might stick around. Alden did!"

"Alden was a worka, Phia," she pointed out. "He wasn' one a the ones benefittin' from keepin' the otha settlements tied down. He was one a the people who had ta work for 'is meals and wait in lines and earn points ta trade like currency for what 'e needed. Most a the workas aren' so gung-ho on gettin' back ta Negan's status quo. It's the soldiers like Justin, Michael, and Regina that keep the trouble brewin'."

"Regina hasn't done much to start anything, though."

"What's she done ta stop it, though?" Ani countered. "She used ta be one a their head-haunchos, in charge a 'er own outpost and with enough authority ta make a difference. Yet, what has she done, huh? Nothin'. If anythin', she eggs it on! I heard 'er when I was 'ere last, talkin' 'bout how shite ain' fair and how they should get guns, too. And ya eva notice that that's what it always boils down ta with 'em? Gettin' guns. I don' know if they really do think havin' guns are goin' ta keep 'em safe or if they're plannin' on tryin' somethin' once they get 'em. What I do know is that, as a collective all 'round, the settlements as a whole cannot trust the Saviors as a whole. Sure, we've all got a couple in the group we get along with and trust on a personal level. But do ya really think the vast majority a the Saviors are really trustworthy?"

Both kids fell silent as Ani watched them carefully, trying to figure out why they were so concerned with getting everyone to get along. She wasn't sure when it had really started, whether it had begun right after the war or slowly changed over the course of the last year, but they had changed their stances. Once upon a time, Sophia was angry at the Saviors and would barely talk to any of them with the exception of Laura, and that was because Ani did. Now, she was actively trying to find a way to bring all the communities together and make the Saviors feel like a part of that. Carl was doing the same thing, and it really made her think about her own beliefs when it came to the Saviors. For her, though, she simply could not erase everything from the past nor look away from the damage the past was still causing to people in the present. While she firmly believed that people could change for the better, that change was usually done on the individual level, not the group. The Saviors as a group needed to change everything that they had come to know under Negan and simply weren't letting their guards down to do it. Not enough of them to matter were changing, anyway, and that had put a huge strain on the relationships that could be built with other communities. Ani could applaud Carl and Sophia's wish for things to work out for the best, but her realistic point of view wouldn't let her believe it would. There just wasn't enough being done on any front to mend the rifts created by Negan's reign of terror.

"Do you think the bridge is going to fail?" Sophia asked in a small voice, making Ani breath deeply before sighing.

"Honestly? I couldn' tell ya," she said. "What do ya guys think?"

"I think it's just a matter of time 'fore it all implodes," Merle said with a shrug. "Only got so long 'fore the fall storms start hittin' and the hordes are gettin' closer every time they pass by. 'Fore too long, they're gonna be right on top of us."

"If we don't change their direction," Carl corrected. "That's why we have the stations set up. So if a herd gets too close we can redirect. We have an airhorn or siren every five miles with solar walkies at each station. They're not gonna get anywhere near the camp without us knowing. I mean, we've got the eye in the sky, too."

"Which I will neva, eva, eva go on watch for," Ani interjected. "How the fuck did ya guys manage ta find such a tall fuckin' cherry picka?"

"It's the one from the shopping center near Alexandria," he told her. "We were using one to help with putting the wall up and the other one was just sitting there because it was a lot bigger than we needed. So, now we're using it to keep watch out here. Smart, huh?"

"I'll give ya that. But ta stay up in that damn thing all night takes the kind a balls a steel I jus' don' have."

"You've climbed trees and stood watch in the guard towers at the prison, though," Sophia pointed out. "And you were at Terminus, and that was way higher up."

"It was, but I wasn' jus' sittin' and waitin' on potentially nothin', that's why I could do it then," Ani admitted. "I was watchin' the people there and learnin' their routines. I was waitin' for the right moment ta strike. I wasn' jus' up there doin' nothin'. I also tied myself ta the post. I can handle heights ta a certain extent. I can go up high as long as there's somethin' else keepin' my mind off'n it. But if there ain'. If all I'm doin' is sittin' and waitin' and lookin' at nothin' with nothin' ta do? Nuh-uh. Ya ain' gettin' me any higha off the ground than I can climb in a tree."