Logain's whimper echoed in the cave, while the Aes Sedai were catching their breaths. Logain had been a strong channeler, and the women had already been exhausted.
Moiraine's eyes fell on the crying Stepin, who was holding Kerene's dead body in his arms. Kerene, who had saved Liandrin and Moiraine's life.
The woman of the Blue Ajah felt Lan's worrying presence in her mind and her head moved to her Warder. He was sitting now with Nynaeve by his side, but Moiraine had only eyes for her Warder. Her BREATHING Warder. She saw the blood on his throat, where the fatal cut had been. The cut, which had almost killed him.
Moiraine's hands started to tremble when she remembered how quickly Lan had drifted away from her. Their bond had turned numb and she had felt him dying. It was a feeling she never wanted to experience ever again. When her eyes started to burn, she fought the tears back and focused on Nynaeve. `Don't think about it. Lan is alive and well. We have other stuff to do. Besides, Liandrin would love to see you cry. Don't give her this satisfaction.´
Moiraine kneeled down beside Nynaeve, who looked lost. The poor woman had used the One Power and was overwhelmed by the aftermath. The Aes Sedai whispered: "Lan, take the Wisdom back to the camp. She needs to rest."
There was an angry spark in Nynaeve's eyes when she looked at Moiraine. Her voice was cold when she hissed: "Don't tell me what to do, Aes Sedai!"
Moiraine thought about saying something, but then she shook her head. "Lan." She knew that he would do what needed to be done. From the corner of her eyes, she saw how Lan reached out his hand to her. He was still worried about her. Quickly, Moiraine got back on her feet and moved away from him. She couldn't touch him. Not now. If she would give in to that, she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears. "Go."
Lan was hurt when she distanced herself from him, but she couldn't deal with that right now. He would still do what she had told him.
The red sisters were gathering around Liandrin, who was the most exhausted sister. But she was already giving orders, on how they should deal with Logain.
Carefully, Moiraine approached Stepin and kneeled down beside him. The poor man was devastated. The woman of the Blue Ajah couldn't imagine the feeling of losing a bonded person, although since she had almost experienced the same thing when Lan had been dying, she had a very good assumption of how he must be feeling.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Stepin." The Warder wasn't able to talk. Silent tears were running down his cheeks, while he gently stroked Kerene's cheek as if she was just sleeping. "She was a strong and kind woman."
Alanna kneeled down beside Moiraine. The green sister was covered with dirt and leaves. It must have been a hard fight against Logain's army. Tears were shimmering in her eyes when she looked at Kerene and she grabbed Moiraine's hand for support. But when she spoke to Stepin, her voice was strong: "Get her back to the camp, Stepin. We take care of the rest."
Slowly, the Warder stood up with his Aes Sedai in his arms and left the cave. As soon as he was out of sight, Alanna laid her head on Moiraine's shoulder and her tears started to fall. Moiraine wasn't good at comforting people. Usually, she tried to keep herself busy. This way, the people had to look for someone else. But Alanna was a friend. She couldn't get it over herself to push the grieving woman away. Softly, she stroked over Alanna's hair and hoped that it would be the right gesture.
"This is not the time to cry." Liandrin appeared beside them, but Moiraine needed just one look to see that the woman was in a bad shape. The red sister was breathing heavily and was very pale. Because of Stepin's interaction, she hadn't burned out, but she was still exhausted.
Alanna lifted her head and glared angrily at Liandrin, who didn't care. "We need to bury the dead. Tell your Warders to start digging." Then she left the cave with her red sisters.
The woman of the Green Ajah squeezed Moiraine's hand in anger. Quickly, Moiraine laid her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Breathe, Alanna. Now that Kerene is… Liandrin has to take care of everything. We should help them."
"She is a heartless…!"
"Focus on the work. It will help to suppress the grief."
"What happened here, Moiraine? How was Logain able to… to…?" Alanna couldn't form the words without new tears running down her cheeks.
Moiraine sighed. "I don't know how he escaped from the cage. When I arrived, he was free and Kerene and Liandrin were unconscious."
"Did you see how he…?"
"We tried to shield him again, but he was stronger than us. Kerene saved Liandrin and me from his attack. Without her, we would be dead too."
A sad smile appeared on Alanna's lips. "I'm glad that she protected you. Although I wished she would have protected herself rather than Liandrin."
A soft chuckle escaped from Moiraine's throat. She knew that Alanna didn't mean it that way. No Aes Sedai wished for another sister to die. Not even when this sister was Liandrin.
The two friends exchanged a sad smile then they got back on their feet. It was time to get to work.
The Warders quickly found a place, where they were able to bury the dead. With the One Power, the Aes Sedai helped to dig the graves, while the Warders carried the dead. They even buried the men of Logain's army and covered their bodies with white sheets. Stepin didn't appear, but no one was complaining. The poor man was in grief, and no one wanted to disturb him.
Lan returned, while Moiraine was moving the earth to dig a new grave. He waited until she was done then he stepped closer, but Moiraine brought some distance between them again.
"The Wisdom?"
"Resting. Moiraine…"
"Good, you can help the other Warders to carry the dead, while we take care of the graves." Her voice sounded cold and dismissive, and she couldn't look at him. Her eyes were focused on a Warder, who approached them. In his arms, he carried a dead soldier. "Put him here."
But Lan didn't want to focus on those soldiers. He wanted to talk to his Aes Sedai, who was ignoring him since Nynaeve had saved him. On the outside, she wore the calm mask, which was common for an Aes Sedai. But her feelings were a mess. Lan tried to figure them out, but he couldn't grasp them.
"Moiraine…"
The Aes Sedai grabbed a sheet, while the other Warder placed the dead body in the grave. "Lan, we have a lot of work to do."
The muscles in Lan's face moved, while he tried to hide how much her words hurt him, but Moiraine felt it anyway through the bond. She felt terrible for pushing him away like that but she still couldn't face him. She couldn't say how she would react if she would allow Lan to comfort her.
"An honor to serve, Moiraine Sedai." Now it was Lan, whose voice sounded as cold as ice.
Moiraine felt as if she was stabbed by the handle of Stepin's axe all over again. But this time, it was aimed at her heart. Lan hadn't used her title in a very long time, and she knew that he was just reacting to her own distant behavior.
With tears in her eyes, she watched how Lan followed the other Warder to get more bodies. `Forgive me, Lan. But I can't think about what had happened earlier. Not now.´
She could only hope that Lan would give her the chance to explain when she was finally ready to face that she had almost lost her Warder. Her confidant. Her friend. A sob escaped her lips then she focused on the bloody face of the fallen soldier. She had to be strong. She was Moiraine Damodred, and Moiraine Damodred had learned how to blend in years ago.
Suddenly, the Aes Sedai heard a dull sound nearby and when she looked up, she saw Liandrin lying on the ground. Her red sister had collapsed. Moiraine dropped the sheet on the dead man then she ran to Liandrin like the rest of their sisters.
"She is exhausted.", a woman of the Red Ajah said "She needs a break."
Alanna, who was also exhausted, sighed and offered: "Maksim can carry her back to the camp."
"No!", the sister hissed angrily "The Red Ajah will never allow a man to touch them!"
"Don't be stubborn. It's freezing cold up here." The woman of the Green Ajah furrowed her forehead in confusion. She couldn't understand why those Reds couldn't accept help when it was offered. Even when it was the help of a man.
But Moiraine saw that their red sisters wouldn't change their minds. She laid her hand on Alanna's shoulder and shook her head slightly. This was useless. Together they watched side by side how two women of the Red Ajah laid Liandrin's arms over their shoulders and carried her to the trees, while the others followed them.
"Insufferable.", Alanna mumbled angrily then her eyes fell on Moiraine, and her face softened. Gently, she squeezed Moiraine's arm. "Are you alright?"
Surprised, the woman of the Blue Ajah tore her gaze away from the sisters of the Red Ajah and looked at her friend. "Why do you ask?"
A sad smile appeared on Alanna's lips then she reached up her hand to cup Moiraine's cheek and wiped away a tear. Moiraine shrugged and took a step back. She hadn't noticed that tears had spilled from her eyes. `You're a fool, Moiraine Damodred! You don't have your emotions under control!´
"I'm just glad when we are done here. I don't like this cold." The knowing look in Alanna's eyes stayed. She couldn't fool her friend. "We should keep going."
Quickly, she turned around and almost bumped into her Warder, who was carrying a dead man. Lan's eyes narrowed slightly when their eyes connected. He saw the tears as well. Before he could stop her, she lowered her head and returned to her previous grave.
Of course, Alanna noticed their little encounter. She gave Lan an encouraging smile when he finally realized that she was watching him before she returned to dig a new grave.