Chapter Nine: A Very Damp Detention

The end of October brought Halloween - and the annual feast which was every bit as good as one at the beginning of term, but came with live bats flitting about the hall, carved pumpkins large enough for a man to sit in lining the walls and a head jousting tournament from the Headless Hunt as the entertainment. Nearly Headless Nick - the Gryffindor ghost - sat at the House table and looked very sour throughout the whole thing.

But then the beginning of November brought another full moon - and once again Remus had to make his excuses, and then make his way down to the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey was waiting to lead him out to the Whomping Willow.

Sunset was much earlier now it was later in the year, and winter was drawing in - and sunrise would be later as well the following morning. The longer nights meant longer transformations … Remus hated the winter.

He had to go to the infirmary almost immediately after tea was finished. He told Peter he had left his school bag in the library and would meet him up in Gryffindor tower … He didn't know what Peter would think when he never turned up. Maybe he wouldn't notice - maybe he would have so much fun with James and Sirius he wouldn't stop to remember that Remus was missing. And if Remus could just have an easy night - then he could be back in class tomorrow. He'd tell Peter he'd stopped to do his work in the library and had fallen asleep.

But there was no such thing as an easy night when it was the full moon. And he woke up on the cold floor the next morning, freezing and naked and covered in bites and scratches … and every inch of him aching. And though he was reluctant to give up on his already planned excuse - he was deeply grateful when Madam Pomfrey took one look at him and declared he would need to spend the day under her care once again.

He returned to classes on Thursday - to find that, once again, James and Severus seemed very interested in where he had been. Fortunately, he and Severus were not on speaking terms - things between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins had not improved since the Quidditch match. And James was attempting to be less of an intrusive pillock since the fiasco of his exposing Remus's scars - so neither of them could say much. But Remus could feel them giving him funny glances all day long, and he wondered what he could possibly say if someone asked where he had ended up.

It was all very good, the adults putting the tree and the shack and all those protections in place … But someone should have thought up a cover story for him, for all the lessons he missed. It seemed a bit much to expect him to come up with his own - when he was only eleven and feeling under the weather.

And some of the teachers were less than useful. True enough, Professor McGonagall barked a well timed 'quiet at the back' when they took their seats in Transfiguration and James asked how he, Remus, was feeling - in a voice that sounded very much like that was not the real question he wanted to ask. But on the other hand, Professor Slughorn actually came to a stop right in front of his cauldron and boomed out - so the whole class could hear him - 'you missed yet another lesson, my boy.'

Remus had flushed, 'yes - I - er …'

'You're not much of a potion maker, as it is. You can't afford to keep skipping classes…' and then he had wandered off, with a jovial grin hitched to his face to inspect what James and Sirius were brewing.

Remus felt both James' and Severus's eyes on him - and had flushed again. He stirred his solution that was supposed to cause forgetfulness rather viciously. Slughorn must know there was a werewolf in the year group, he thought to himself, all the other teachers did - and Slughorn was a head of house. They must have got a heads up - because Remus could have been sorted into any one of them and become their responsibility. But it seemed like Slughorn was oblivious to the fact that the werewolf was Remus. It was like, because Remus was not rich or well connected or unusually talented, Slughorn could not be bothered to pay enough attention to put two and two together and realise that the boy who always missed class immediately after a full moon was the same boy who spent that full moon transforming into a monster.

Unfortunately for Remus, James and Severus were much more interested in putting two and two together than Slughorn was. They weren't getting four yet - at least - but they did know there was an equation to be puzzled out, and they were trying to find it's answer.

If only he was a better potion maker, he thought miserably, he could force feed them this forgetfulness potion and his problems would be solved. He stirred the solution again … it was the wrong colour. He'd just have to wait for them to forget the old fashioned way. But with a full moon every month, it seemed like a fat chance that would ever happen.

'I'll just ask him politely,' he heard James say, as the bell rang - and Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and stumped from the potions classroom.

'No you won't,' Sirius said - and Remus felt a stab of gratitude towards him.

'I don't see what the big deal is.'

'If it's not a big deal, why do you need to know?'

And James didn't have an answer to that, so Remus never found himself being asked questions he didn't want to answer. Though Peter seemed a little hurt that Remus had just upped and disappeared on him. He was being colder and more standoffish - and following James and Sirius more closely - leaving Remus alone more often. Peter was the closest thing Remus had to a friend at Hogwarts, and he would have to find a way to put it right - or else be alone forever - but he didn't see how he could offer up explanations without James overhearing and demanding to know more.

He wished once again that the adults had thought to think up some form of alibi for him. Now he was living in such close quarters with other children, and disappearing every month, it seemed like a massive oversight.

However - much to Remus's relief - all thought of his mysterious absences was pushed from his fellow Gryffindors' minds a couple of days later, when the older children were allowed to visit the village of Hogsmeade for the day - and returned to the common room that evening with excited talk about a newly haunted house which had just appeared in the village.

'It's more like a shack than a house,' Alice, the prefect, told the boys. 'It's sitting up on a hill just away from the main road. This is my fourth year I've been visiting Hogsmeade - and I've never seen it before. It's strange - all the doors and windows are boarded up - there's no way inside.'

Sitting close to the fire, Remus frowned to himself … The doors and windows in the house he transformed in were all boarded up. He had no idea whereabouts it was, though the passage that led from the tree to the house itself was quite long. It could lead to the village … And if the house was new...

'They've started calling it the "Shrieking Shack",' Alice was saying.

'How come?' James asked.

'Because every so often they hear absolutely inhuman screams coming from in there - really awful, Madam Rosmerta says. She's the landlady of The Three Broomsticks - she says the caterwauling keeps her up at night.'

'But I thought nothing could get inside,' Sirius said - he was frowning, but it was a very handsome frown. 'So what's causing the noise?'

'No one knows,' she shrugged, 'down in the village they think they might have somehow attracted some really disturbed ghosts - a really rough crowd. No one else could get in - only someone who can get through walls.'

'Unless there's another way in,' Peter suggested.

James snorted impatiently, 'what? A secret tunnel under the floorboards? Don't be thick, Peter.'

Peter flushed … but Remus felt his heart sink in his chest. 'Is the screaming every night?' He asked, trying to keep his voice casual. 'How do they all sleep if the sounds keep them awake all the time?'

'She says it's only every few weeks or so,' Alice said. Remus felt his heart sink even further. The prefect shuddered. 'But it's a really creepy place, made me shiver just looking at it from the road.'

...

The mystery of the Shrieking Shack was enough to keep James distracted for the next few days - and though Remus felt like he was walking on eggshells hoping the other boy would not connect the two mysteries, he never did. And by the time James was bored of the Shrieking Shack, he had forgotten about Remus's missed lessons - and November continued without further incident.

By now, their classes were becoming more interesting, as they had mastered basic spells and were ready to start on more complicated magic. Professor Tenebris had long since announced they were done with doxies and imps and now brought in a baby Runespoor to their Defence class - a three headed snake, which could grow to be six feet in length.

'What we know about these creatures we know from parselmouths,' she told them, holding the snake so it could slither in and out of her hands. 'Each head provides the creature with a different function - the left head is the planner, the middle is the dreamer and the right head is the critic. Oftentimes one comes across a Runespoor missing it's right head - the other two band together to bite it off when it criticises them overly much.'

She gave a laugh, 'how wonderful it would be if we humans could simply bite out our own inner critic - however, once the head is bitten away - the creature does not last long. Perhaps the ability to criticise oneself is an important survival tool. Although the Runespoor is not inherently dark,' she told them, 'they have long been associated with the darkest of wizards - and therefore it does to be able to recognise them, and know how to deal with them.'

...

In Transfiguration they had all now successfully mastered matches into needles and feathers into flowers and had started on switching spells, and in Charms they were now practising conjuring flames … which could have some alarming results if careful attention was not paid at all times.

Their flying lessons were becoming more exciting as they got to grips with the basics and were allowed to fly higher and faster - they would start playing Quidditch after Christmas, Madam Hooch told them - once they all had their balance right.

Astronomy was held once a week, at midnight, at the top of the tallest tower - and being out of bed so late was still exciting, even if Remus did find the study of the night skies a depressing reminder of how close or distant the next full moon was. History of Magic was still interminable - and Potions was more to be endured than enjoyed … but the work across their subjects was coming so thick and so fast that November flew by, and before Remus knew it - it was the beginning of December and the night of the next full moon.

…

When he woke up, face down on the splintery floorboards, that morning - it was so cold he could see his breath, even inside the house. And - although every muscle screamed in agony - he wrapped his arms across his bare chest and scurried as fast as he could to find his discarded robes. Once he was dressed again, he got under the covers of the four poster to await Madam Pomfrey's arrival.

When she turned up she was wearing a pair of earmuffs and mittens - and carried a pair of Wellington boots and an extra thick cloak. 'Why do you have - ' Remus started to ask.

'You'll see - put them on.'

Mystified, he did as he was told and then followed her back down the passage and up out of the gap at the base of the Whomping Willow - where he found the whole world had turned white overnight. Snow had fallen - and now lay three feet deep on the ground in a shining, crystal powder.

'Wow,' Remus breathed looking around. It hardly ever snowed where he lived, and certainly never like this. Though struggling through the deep snow - in his heavy boots, when his legs ached and his bones felt like they were on fire, and his chest hurt on the outside from the cuts and on the inside from the cold freezing his lungs - proved to be an experience he was not anxious to replicate.

But still, once safely ensconced in the Hospital Wing, wrapped up in bed in his pajamas and with a mug of hot chocolate, he couldn't help but peer wistfully out of the window - where he could see the other students on their break, throwing snowballs at each other. 'Do I have to sleep all day?' he asked the matron, as she handed him the thick, treacly potion that knocked him out. 'I don't want to miss the snow - I don't want it to melt before I can leave here.'

Madam Pomfrey sniffed in disapproval, as if he had no inkling of just how dangerous snow could be. 'It's not going anywhere,' she told him. 'That amount of snow is not going to melt any time soon - and the sky is still grey, threatening more to come. It'll be six feet deep before it's done.'

'Wow,' Remus said again - and knelt up on his bed to get a better look.

The matron tutted. 'Come on - now - drink up, let's get you rested and healed.' And reluctantly, Remus took the sleeping draught and drank it all down … his eyelids grew heavy and before he knew it, he was out like a light.

…

Down in the grounds, the other three Gryffindor boys were rolling as many snow balls as they could - and then piling them up - like stocks of cannonballs. 'What are you doing?' Lily asked them. She and Mary McDonald were huddled around a small portable fire that they had conjured in a jam jar - and did not seem very impressed with the snow.

'You'll see,' James told her.

'Look out - here they come,' Sirius said - and sure enough, Snape and Avery and Mulciber came walking out of the castle. Lily waved to Snape - who looked embarrassedly at his Slytherin friends before waving back.

'Do you remember the charm?' James muttered in an undertone.

'Yep…' Sirius pointed his wand at the snowballs - and then flicked it towards the Slytherins. 'Oppugno!' he cried. And suddenly all the snowballs rose up in the air and pelted themselves right at the Slytherin boys, bombarding them with white powder and exploding in their faces. The Slytherins turned tail and fled - and the Gryffindors roared with laughter.

'Oh, really ,' Lily said crossly. 'There was no need for that - you really are very childish.'

'That was an OWL level spell I just cast!' Sirius protested. 'Took me ages to learn - show a bit of respect.'

'Well, why did you learn something that hard?'

'Because one of those nasty buggers knows real curses - and we need to up our game if we want to protect ourselves.'

She sniffed. 'This rivalry is so needless. I don't see why you can't just get along.'

'Because they're slimy gits and they started it,' James told her.

'Really! ' she sniffed again and stalked off. The boys did not feel the need to stop her from going.

'You know what I've noticed?' James said conversationally, once it was just the three of them.

'What?'

'Remus is missing lessons again.'

...

When Remus awoke, hours later, it was to find his bed surrounded by curtains blocking the Infirmary from view - which was unusual - and to hear the sounds of many moanings and groanings and what sounded like a person clucking like a chicken from just beyond those curtains.

'What's going on?' he asked Madam Pomfrey, as she appeared at his bedside with a small boulder of chocolate and began to chip away at it with a chisel and hammer.

'The snow,' she told him darkly, 'it's made everyone thoroughly excitable and reckless - I've got injuries of all sorts to contend with. I thought it best to hide you from view; you're the only person in here who's not here for doing something stupid or dangerous. I didn't want to draw attention to you.'

Remus nodded, taking a bite of the chocolate and feeling the warmth spread all the way down to his toes. 'Can I go back to the common room now?'

'Stick your tongue out.'

He complied.

'Hmmm,' she peered into his eyes, and then held a soft hand to his forehead. 'Hmmm,' she said again. 'Are you sure you're up to it? - You can stay overnight.'

'I'm fine - I've got homework to catch up on.'

'Well, alright, you can get dressed and go - but listen here, Mr. Lupin, you might feel better now than you did yesterday but you're still not a hundred percent. I don't want you going out in that snow for at least two days.'

'But Madam Pomfrey…!'

'That's my final word, or I'll keep you in here over the weekend.'

And so he had no choice but to agree…

...

… Lying on a bed just the other side of the curtains though, with a large snowball shoved roughly up his left nostril, Severus Snape listened into this conversation with interest. So - Lupin had missed yet more classes and wound up in the Hospital Wing again, had he? There was definitely something mysterious going on with this boy … When he went home for the holidays he would ask his mum if she had remembered what the unpleasantness between Lupin's dad and the wizengamot had been - there was something fishy about the whole family.

…

Remus spent most of his weekend in the library. He had now missed four days worth of school over the course of the term and it was beginning to show … He was worried about how badly behind he would be lagging by the end of the year, and the end of the next one. He thought of Ludo Bagman, forced to return for an 8th year after failing his NEWTS, and wondered how old he would himself be before he became fully qualified. He liked it at Hogwarts, but he didn't still want to be trapped here as a grown man.

Madam Pince chased him out of the library just as the sun was setting on Sunday evening. The corridors were quiet as he tiptoed down them, most people were already safely inside their common rooms … But, as he passed the head of the marble staircase, he saw that the castle doors had not yet been closed for the evening. The light from the chandelier was spilling out onto the white of the snow - and it looked so crisp and clean that suddenly he couldn't resist it any longer.

With a hasty glance around to check that no one was watching, he hoisted his bag further onto his shoulder, hurried down the stairs and then dashed across the entrance hall and out through the doors.

The snow crunched underfoot. He closed his eyes so he could hear it better. The cold was making his nose and fingers tingle, and his breath came out like puffs of smoke - he watched it, pretending to be a dragon for a little while. And then he heard the sound of a distant giggle - and went to investigate.

He rounded the corner of the Astronomy tower - passing a snowman with coal for eyes, a Slytherin scarf tied around his neck - though it looked more like it was being strangled than anything else, a twig plunged into its chest like a dagger in its heart and a large carrot nose which had been carved into a hook shape … he began to suspect who it was he was about to find still out in the grounds.

Sure enough: 'you be lookout, Pete,' he heard James whisper - far too loudly. 'Ready, Sirius? Three, two, one…' and then there was the sound of water flowing. Remus frowned - not understanding what was happening and went in for a closer look.

Peter heard his footsteps and turned around, crying out - only to look relieved, 'oh - it's just you, Remus, where have you been?'

'Library. What's going on?'

'I'm the lookout.'

'For what?'

Peter only pointed - to where James and Sirius were standing, their backs to the other boys, facing the wall - a stream of yellow liquid was flowing from both of them and hitting up the castle wall.

Remus wrinkled his nose in disgust, ' errrr - are they…?'

'Trying to see who can go the highest.'

'Errrr - that's disgusting! '

'That's what I said, that's why I'm lookout…'

Remus watched the boys. James' stream managed to hit a few inches higher than Sirius's and he cheered in delight. Remus wrinkled his nose again. 'You couldn't have stuck to building SnowSnapes?' he asked Peter.

Over by the wall, James was declaring victory. Sirius was not having it. 'No way - let's go again - best of three.'

'I don't need to go any more.'

'Tough luck - best of three.'

Remus wandered over to them, 'you know,' he said - it was gratifying watching them jump, they hadn't realised they were no longer just the three of them. 'This really is a new low for you two.'

'I think you'll find that's a new high for me,' James said - pointing to the wet mark high above his head.

Remus wrinkled his nose again. 'Disgusting - and pathetic. I'd expect a five year old to hit that high. I bet there are girls that can get that high.'

'You think you can go higher?'

'I know I can.'

'Come on then.'

'No - I'm not an animal.'

James shrugged. 'Then you're all talk. You can't beat that.'

'Yes I can.'

'Prove it.'

'Fine … but I'm not going alone - you two have to do it too.'

'Agreed,' James grinned. 'Pete,' he craned his neck around, 'stay as lookout. Do a better job of warning us this time.'

The three boys lined up in front of the castle wall - measuring carefully so they were all the same distance away. Then they fiddled with their flies. 'Alright - on your marks, get set - go!'

All three of them aimed as high as they could … Remus leaned back slightly and hit well above James' previous attempt.

'How are you doing that?' the other boy asked, sounding envious - he leaned back as well, copying Remus's tactic - but still couldn't get the same height on it.

And then they heard Peter shriek - and the sound of stumbling footsteps. They turned to look in alarm … but not quite everything got put away in time … drops of yellow sprinkled out onto the snow, right by a pair of boots. Remus stared at the boots - and then looked up in horror to see the stern - and utterly disgusted - face of Professor McGonagall.

Her lips had all but disappeared. 'Detention!' she barked - as the three boys fiddled desperately with their flies. 'I have never - in all my years at this school - seen such a revolting display of behaviour. Mr. Lupin, I am surprised at you! '

All buttoned up and safely tucked away at last, Remus cringed. His face was bright, beetroot red - and James and Sirius were the same.

'The three of you will be cleaning these walls tomorrow night - and twenty points from Gryffindor. Each . Now get inside.'

Shamefaced and burning with humiliation, the boys stumbled their way back through the snow - and once they got inside the castle fled back to the common room, without daring to look back to see if McGonagall was following them.

Once through the portrait, they collapsed in front of the fire - panting. Remus buried his head in his hands. 'That is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone, ever .'

'I don't think I want to live anymore,' Sirius sounded strained - and when Remus finally came up for air, it was to see the other boy looking pale and wan.

'I'm not going to Transfiguration tomorrow,' James said.

'I'm not going back to Transfiguration ever ,' Remus said. 'She'll never forget. Not tomorrow, not next term … when we're in seventh year … we could bump into her when we're … we're ... thirty four - and she'll still know that she's seen our ... thingumajigs .'

Peter suddenly appeared beside them from wherever he had been hiding. 'I'm sorry I left you to it,' he said. He saw their ashen faces, 'what happened?'

'Big Macca saw our todgers,' Remus groaned.

'Remus weed on her shoes,' Sirius said.

'I did not! It was … shoe adjacent .'

'And we got detention tomorrow night - and lost sixty house points between us,' James said glumly.

'I think i might just leave school,' Sirius said. 'Honestly, I think I'd rather go home and live with my horrible mother than face McGonagall tomorrow.'

'Maybe we could injure ourselves,' James said hopefully, 'do something really horrible to ourselves and end up in the Hospital Wing.'

'McGonagall still won't forget she's seen your willy,' Remus told him darkly. 'No matter what you do.'

…

Somehow - and how none of them ever quite knew - the three of them made it through their Transfiguration lesson the next day. They kept their heads down, didn't look the Professor in the face and meekly got on with switching their guinea pigs into piggy banks.

As this was the first ever lesson they had not messed around in - Sirius and James managed to finish the class with perfectly crafted piggy banks - they had the money slot and the stopper in and everything. Sirius's even had a fetching pattern of polka dots on the side … They still couldn't look McGonagall in the face though, and she didn't praise them. And she tutted at Remus's attempt (his piggy bank was still furry and squeaked) even though his was by no means the worst effort in the class.

It was a relief when the class was over - although there was the excruciating moment where she called them back at the end to give them their detention slips. And then, greatly relieved, they fled as fast as they could, running all the way to History of Magic. No one had ever run to a History of Magic lesson before.

Unfortunately, the class proved to be so boring (even though they were learning about the vampire attacks of 1775 which led to the angry mobs of 1779 and in turn gave rise to the vampire-wizard truce of 1800) that Remus could not stop remembering the evening before, replaying it in his mind and burning with humiliation. And although Professor Binns paid no more attention to the students than he ever did, Remus couldn't help but notice that all the other teachers around the school seemed to follow the three of them with their eyes, just the faintest traces of a smirk on their faces … and he had a terrible sinking feeling that Prof M had been talking in the staff room.

After tea, they said goodbye to Peter and made their way back out of the castle - where Filch was waiting for them with mops and buckets of soapy water. 'Disgusting,' he sniffed at them, 'foul, little bleeders - in the old days I'd have had you in chains … I keep asking the headmaster to bring back the old punishments. Right - pick up a bucket and a mop each…'

They did as they were told and followed him back around the Astronomy tower, past the melting SnowSnape, and back to the scene of their crime. 'Right - get it clean,' Filch leered. 'Someone will be back for you in two hours.'

With a sigh, they dunked their mops in the water and then lifted them above their heads to start scrubbing at the walls. It was hard going - and even though the snow lay thick on the ground, they were soon sweaty. It was a nasty job as well - every time they swooshed the water above their heads it would drip right back down on them - and the fronts of their robes were soaked through.

'This is ridiculous,' Sirius complained, as he got a face full of soapy water. 'It doesn't take two hours to clean a bit of wee off a wall. Come on, we're done.'

'Well what should we do? We can't leave.'

Sirius looked down at the mop in his hand, at the long wooden pole. 'Let's have a jousting tournament.'

'You're mental,' Remus shook his head - refusing to have anything to do with it.

James - on the other hand - thought it was a great idea. The two boys marched away from each other, gripped their mops like lances - and then charged, smacking each other as they ran past.

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You'll get us into worse trouble.'

'There's no one here…' and they ran again. Remus watched anxiously - peering around to make sure they were unnoticed.

On the third run, Sirius smacked James' mop so hard that the handle snapped in two. 'Yesss!' Sirius celebrated his victory. But James was blinking at his broken mop.

'Bugger - we'll get in trouble for that, what do we do now?'

'Snowball fight?'

Remus backed away, as both boys scooped up handfuls of snow and flung it at each other. 'You should stop - we could get into …' he was cut off by a faceful of snow hitting him square in the mouth. 'Mmmpf!' he spluttered. Both boys had taken aim at once. He squatted down, scooped up his own snowball and threw it as hard as he could at James - and then another at Sirius.

James fell over - and Remus pressed home his advantage, dived on him and rubbed his face in the snow. It was James' turn to splutter - but from then on Remus was in the thick of it, and the three of them flung snowballs and chased each other round and rugby tackled each other to the ground until it was almost completely dark.

In the end they were breathless, gasping and soaked through - and utterly exhausted.

'No one's come for us yet,' Sirius said, frowning down at his watch. 'Do you think they've forgotten us?'

'We could just head on in.'

But Remus imagined what Filch or Professor McGonagall would say if they took it upon themselves to end their detention in their own time, and shuddered. 'No thanks - let's wait.'

'Well - what shall we do then?' James asked.

Remus stared at the ground. 'We could … write our names … you know, in the snow .'

'What - with sticks?' Sirius frowned.

'No - with…' he raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Sirius's flies.

'Ohh … Yeah, alright.' He started fumbling.

'Wait wait wait - it has to be a competition,' Remus said, slowing both the other boys down. 'Speed writing - but points for calligraphy. Sirius gets a head start.'

'Why?' James asked.

'His name has more letters than ours. He gets the first S free … but hurry up on it, Sirius, I don't want to get frostbite on my thingumajig.'

'Alright,' Srius grinned. They all spread out and then Sirius took aim, and drew an S into the snow.

'Alright, James - go,' Remus said, once the S was drawn - and all three of them were now speed-writing as fast as their aim could allow them.

It was just as Remus was starting the S on his own name that he heard the crunch of footsteps in snow … and then he heard a strangled yelp come from James … and just as he finished the final curve, he looked up to see none other than Professor McGonagall glowering down at them again. He had never seen her lips so thin.

He closed his eyes … he could still see her behind his eyelids - could still feel her expression of disgust. ' Detention ,' she barked at them again. 'Get up to the castle,' and then she turned on her heel and marched away.

Feeling like he was about to die, Remus tucked himself away. The other two were looking faint with horror. 'That's it,' Remus said to them, 'we need to leave the school.' They stumped their way back to the castle, wishing the earth would swallow them up.

...

However - it was not all bad. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other. And it turns out that getting caught with your todger out by your very strict head of house - twice - is one of them.