Chapter Thirteen: Secrets, Passageways and Missing Persons

'Full moon tonight,' James said, the night after the midnight feast, peering up out of the dormitory window at the round, silvery disc hovering in the sky.

'What's your point?' Sirius asked him rather tersely. Though he knew exactly what James' point was. The moon was full - and Remus's bed was empty. In fact - Remus was missing. He had just disappeared after tea. They had no idea where he had gone … or at least, Sirius wasn't willing to admit he had gone to the Infirmary.

'No point,' James said - with a pointed glance at Peter, who was sitting reading a comic on his bed. 'I was just … observing.'

'Yeah? … Well - observe something else.'

'What? Like the fact that you're a right grouchy git?'

Sirius threw his pillow at him - and then grumbled as he got up to retrieve it. He clambered back onto his bed, pulled his curtains shut and then glared up at his canopy. He had so wanted Remus to stick around tonight - to prove James wrong. But … he had gone, wherever it was he always went every full moon … and Sirius had to admit that James' theory was not looking so shonky now.

But it wasn't fair! He punched his pillow. Remus was so nice - way nicer than Sirius knew himself to be. And being a werewolf was supposed to be awful - and painful … and Remus did not deserve that. And if it was true … then Sirius knew enough about the Wizarding World to know that there was no hope for Remus. He had no future. No one would ever accept him, he would be shunned and spat at at every turn. Hated and feared just for existing.

He punched his pillow again. Well - if people wanted to treat Remus like a pariah just for who he was, then they would have to come through Sirius first. He was the heir to the Noble and most Ancient House of Black. What was the point of being so important you had your name scribed onto page 394 of Ponce's Peerage if you couldn't use it to protect the people who were less fortunate than you?

As long as Remus had Sirius - then Remus would be OK. And he would always have James too. Together, the two of them would always be there to look out for him. He would never have to live alone and unloved.

… If it turned out he was a werewolf that was. Which Sirius was not yet fully ready to accept. He frowned up at the canopy again as he turned a new consideration over in his mind. If Remus was transforming - even as he, Sirius, lay here - and he would spend the day in the Hospital Wing tomorrow recovering from his ordeal … would he feel better if his friends came to visit him? Sirius remembered only too well Remus explaining to him that no matter how poorly you felt, being surrounded by people who loved you made it better. And if Remus was suffering tonight, then Sirius wanted to make things better for him - any way he could. But then, if he was a werewolf, he clearly didn't want them to know - he didn't like talking about where he disappeared to, so would it only embarrass him and make him uncomfortable if his friends came to visit?

Sirius didn't want that either.

He flung himself over on the bed rather heavily and snorted. He wished they could just know one way or the other. He wished James had never come up with his stupid theory and he remained in blissful ignorance. He wished they could just ask Remus outright - and that it wouldn't be as mortifying and awful for Remus as he knew it would be. He wished poor Remus had never been bitten by a werewolf … if he had been bitten by a werewolf.

He just wished that everything could be simpler - and Remus could just be well. But as this was not the case, he wished there was something he could do to help.

It took him a long time to get to sleep that night. And when he woke up in the morning, Remus was still missing.

...

Remus had had an unusually rough night - and Madam Pomfrey did not release him from the Infirmary until the evening of the first of February. He had missed two full days of school - and there was still another full moon to go before the Easter holidays.

As he walked back to Gryffindor common room, he saw the door to McGonagall's office open and Petra Linehan come out. She was wiping her eyes - and sniffing - as if she had been crying. He wondered what was wrong … But she wasn't talking to him after the feast fiasco the other night, and he didn't want to upset her further by reminding her he existed - so he didn't ask.

He gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered the common room - hesitating slightly when he saw his friends sitting in front of the fire … they couldn't have failed to notice his absence. And this was the first full moon at school since he had properly joined their group … surely they would ask…?

'Alright?' he said awkwardly, sitting down next to them. James was fiddling with the knobs on the common room wireless trying to get it to work, Peter was reading a comic. Sirius appeared to be reading the newspaper.

'Alright, Remus,' James said, he squinted his eyes and fiddled a bit harder. 'You feeling OK?'

'I'm fine - why wouldn't I be?' He felt the heat rise inside of him, and knew his face must be flushing. But neither Sirius or James looked at him or seemed to notice.

'You're just late back this month. We were worried.'

Molten panic flooded into his tummy. 'I - er - I had to go home. My mum was taken ill. You know how she is … I had to go and see her.'

Sirius and James glanced at each other then - but not at Remus. 'I'm sorry,' James said. 'I hope she's better? If you're back now?'

'Yes - yes - she's fine.'

'Anyway,' Sirius didn't raise his eyes from his paper, 'I wrote the Transfiguration essay Big Macca set us for you - you just need to sign your name. And I wrote out a copy of my notes for a History of Magic so you have your own set.'

Remus stared at him, 'th - thanks.'

Sirius only shrugged - and still didn't look up from his paper. 'No biggie. You don't want to fall behind.'

Peter looked up from his comic. 'How come you wouldn't help me with my Transfiguration essay when you wrote Remus's for him?'

'Because your mum isn't poorly - and you'll never learn, if I do it all for you.'

Peter pulled a face. 'I wish my mum was poorly.'

Sirius finally looked up, slapped Peter across the head with his newspaper, and then buried his nose back in it.

Remus watched them both in bemusement for a while. 'What - what are you doing with that thing anyway?' he asked Sirius, nodding to the copy of the Prophet that was so engrossing his friend. It seemed as good a way as any to change the subject from himself and his mysterious absence.

'I'm attempting the crossword.'

'Oh - how's it going?'

'Badly. What's a ten letter word for a parasite that is attracted to magic but has been known to attack muggle electrical goods? Used in potions.'

'Chizpurfle,' Remus told him.

'Cool - thanks… er - how are we spelling that?' Remus spelled it out for him and he scribbled the word down. 'Come and help with the rest. I've been stuck on 9 across for hours.'

With a grin, Remus went to balance himself on the arm of Sirius's chair so he could see the crossword. But as they muddled their way through nine across together, something on the next page caught Remus's eye.

It was only a little article, but the headline read:

Ciaran Linehan - Missing, Presumed Dead.

He remembered Petra coming out of McGonagall's office, crying - and leaned in for a closer look.

Ministry employee and Gobstones enthusiast, Ciaran Linehan, 36, has been missing since before Christmas - and it is now believed that he must be dead. Mr. Linehan was last seen leaving the Galway Gobstones Annual Gala in late November. He never returned to work at the Ministry - where he has been an employee in the Department of Magical Catastrophes for the past 18 years - and his brother and sister in law reported that he did not come to their house for Christmas as expected, though they had baked some of his favourite crumpled cream-horn snorsnacks especially for the occasion. Now that yet another month has passed, hope is fast fading that he will be found alive. 'It just isn't like him to miss a Gobstones meeting,' Maud Purkiss, 52, the chairwitch of the Gobstones club told the Prophet. 'But now he's missed four meetings without a word - it's hard not to think something dreadful has happened.'

Though it is hard to know what could have happened to Mr. Linehan. According to all who knew him, he was a quiet, considerate wizard and well liked. No known enemies and who liked nothing more dangerous than a firewhisky during a game of Gobstones.

Mr. Linehan is the third such unusual disappearance that has happened within the past year. Though at this time there is no known link between the three missing people - and the aurors office have refused to comment on whether they are currently looking into the cases and whether or not they have any leads.

Remus glanced around the common room - and saw the other three girls working quietly at a table together. He got up and went over to them. 'You need to go and check on Petra,' he said.

Lily sniffed, and didn't look up. 'Mary - can you hear something?'

'Nope - not a sound.'

'Me neither.'

Remus sighed. 'Look - I know you're not talking to me - and that's fair. But McGonagall just called Petra into her office. I think her uncle has died - she seemed pretty upset. You need to check on her.'

Lily went bright red, muttered, 'thanks, Remus,' without looking at him, pushed her chair back and hurried off up to the dormitory. The other two girls followed more slowly - their expressions suggested that they still weren't forgiving Remus any time soon, no matter how many favours he might do for them.

He shrugged and headed back to Sirius and the crossword. He didn't think again about Mr. Linehan - other than to wonder if Petra was OK. He didn't wonder what had happened to him, or to those other missing people - and if their disappearances really were linked. He didn't stop to consider for a moment what any of it might mean and if there would be more missing persons - and more deaths - and if any of it might one day personally affect him. Instead, he just sat back down next to Sirius, helped him work out the answer to nine across (mandrake root) and forgot all about it.

For now. Though being able to ignore missing persons was not a luxury that would last forever.

...

As Sirius was still attempting to keep his head down and behave himself (not always successfully - he managed to get two detentions in one day even when he was trying to be good) and they still considered it safest to keep a distance from the Slytherins, and because they were vaguely worried Lily might hex them into oblivion if they continued to bother the girls, the four of them decided the safest way for them to cause mayhem and mischief was to search for all of the secret passages Filch used to get around the school.

They followed the passage behind the Charms corridor all the way from end to end one break time, running their hands along the walls to make sure they didn't miss any more exit points along the way, and found themselves inside a small, round tower they had never been in before. But there was only one door - and it was locked - and 'alohomora' wouldn't open it … so reluctantly they headed back.

'You know I've heard of knives that can be enchanted to open any lock,' Sirius mused, as they later discussed their frustration at going all that way to hit a dead end.

'Brilliant!' James said. 'It's my Birthday in the Easter hols - I'll ask for one.'

…

They discovered another inside a boy's bathroom on the second floor which then led down a dark spiral staircase and opened out onto the lawns just behind the greenhouses. Once the door closed behind them, it was impossible to see against the stone of the castle.

'Blimey - I wonder what secrets they're hiding in the girls' bathrooms, if we get our own hidden way out of the castle?' James said.

…

Much to their delight, they found that a portrait of Urqhart the Unusual - a wizard who, if his painting was to be believed, had worn socks on his ears - swung open and revealed a stone chute which - when they slid down it - landed them in a circular basement room. Unlike the dungeons, this place was warm - the light was golden and the stones seemed dry and sandy. Though it had the air of somewhere that had not been visited in a very very long time.

There wasn't much to see - a desk, a chair and shelves of parchment that were rotting and falling apart.

'So - er- how do we get out?' Sirius asked, peering back up the chute and realising it was unlikely they would be able to scramble their way back up to the top.

With nothing else for it, they took out their wands and started tapping bricks in the hope of finding the passageway out. Eventually, Remus twisted a candle holder on the wall that was carved into the shape of a badger and an entire wall slid back, revealing the exit.

They followed it along and came out in an underground corridor by a great pile of barrels. The corridor was warm, and smelled delicious, and was lined with paintings of food. 'Do you think we're near the kitchens?' Peter asked hopefully.

But just then - the bell went and they had no time to stop and look. Although they hurried, they were still late to Transfiguration - and McGonagall docked points from Gryffindor.

…

They found a staircase behind a tapestry with a trick step in it which provided them with a shortcut to Gryffindor tower, a low tunnel they had to crawl through which led from the east wing to the south wing of the castle. They found a hidden door which opened up to reveal a ladder inside, affixed to the wall and which - after they had finally scrambled to the top (though Peter had got halfway up and decided to go back down again … and Remus was sorely tempted to join him) led to another hidden door which opened up in the Astronomy tower. Then there was one secret passage, behind a large mirror on the fourth floor, which twisted and turned for such a long time and went so far that they had to give up and turn back or else risk missing Charms class. Though they all agreed they would definitely follow it all the way to the end one day.

…

'Do you think we should write all these down?' Remus asked, one evening - lying on his bed, his hands behind his head. 'We're finding so many - we might start to forget some.'

'Good idea,' James grabbed parchment and quill and - with his tongue sticking out between his teeth - he started to scribble down all the secrets they had uncovered, in his untidy scrawl. When he was done he stuck it up on the wall next to his bed.

'They won't stay a secret very long if you just display them like that,' Peter said.

'Yeah - but if I put it somewhere safe then you just know I'll forget where the somewhere safe is.'

'You mean you'll lose it?'

'Yes.'

'Here.' Sirius got to his feet and did something very complicated with his wand, waving it over the piece of parchment. Nothing happened.

'Er - mate? Whatever that was … it didn't work.'

'Yes it did,' he slapped James around the back of the head for doubting him. 'At least I think it did … I put an enchantment on it so only we four can read it. Anyone else sees a blank piece of parchment … I think.'

'You mean like you thought you cast a tripping jinx?'

'Well … if I have made a mistake this time, it at least shouldn't rip anyone's leg off.'

'Snape never lost a leg,' Remus said calmly from down on his bed. He closed his eyes. 'Slimy git,' he added.

'Have you seen how much he loves it now Evans isn't talking to us?' James asked. 'He glows, like someone has shoved a firecracker up his arse, all through Potions lessons.'

'God - we should do that!' Sirius's eyes lit up. 'When we're back to pranking the Slytherins.'

But James shook his head and pulled a disgusted face. 'I'm not going anywhere near Snivellus's arse.'

'Oh yeah…'

…

February passed quickly. There were two more Quidditch matches (Ravenclaw vs Slytherin and Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor) and Remus enjoyed these two much more than the first - now he was watching them with his friends. Although … Slytherin did drive Ravenclaw into the ground thanks to Ludo Bagman's beating, and Hufflepuff caught the snitch and snatched a last minute victory.

'We're going to finish bottom of the table, aren't we?' James said glumly.

Sirius nodded. 'Looks like it, mate.'

And it seemed Alex Wood thought so too - as the rumour mill the night of the Hufflepuff match reported that he was attempting to drown himself in the showers. Remus at least knew he hadn't been successful - as he had seen the Quidditch captain emerge from the boys' showers onto the staircase just as he was headed up to the dorm to get his Transfiguration textbook.

Alex had been wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist - and Remus stared in surprise at all his rippling, Quidditch honed muscles ...he'd never seen someone who looked like that before. The water droplets from the shower were dribbling slowly down Wood's chiseled torso … though Remus suspected the water dribbling down his face was in fact tears.

He waited until Wood had disappeared into his dormitory and darted up to his own. In a sudden fit of curiosity, he closed the door - pulled his robes over his head - and then examined his own chest in the mirror, wondering if he would ever look like Wood. But then he sighed. Even if got the glistening abs and pectorals - which he didn't know how he would go about getting those - he would always have the scars. Wood had been smooth and perfect. Remus would never look like him.

He sighed again, and put his robes back on before the others caught him looking at himself - and got a second look at just how awful his body was.

The weeks continued to fly by and then - far too soon - it was time for the full moon again.

Remus wasn't sure - but he thought Sirius and James kept whispering behind his back when the day itself arrived. And he kept catching them staring at him ...though they always smiled and pretended nothing was wrong when they saw him looking back at them.

It made him feel very nervous - and he decided to preempt any questions. The time had come to lie before the fact - not after it. 'I need to go to McGonagall's office after tea,' he said - in a would-be casual voice - as they sat down to their evening meal.

'Why's that?' James asked him … also sounding like he was trying very hard to sound casual.

'My - er - my mum's been taken ill again. Big Macca spoke to me after class, I need to go home to visit.'

'I hope she feels better soon,' Sirius said - his tone extremely neutral, spearing spuds on the end of his fork and deliberately not looking anywhere except his plate.

Peter looked between the three of them, chewing but still managing to look confused. 'What's going on?' he asked once he had swallowed.

'Nothing - I just need to go home … to see my mum.'

'Well, we'll go with you to Big Macca's office. Won't we?' He looked at the other two, who very deliberately looked the other way and didn't answer.

'There's no need,' Remus said, quickly. 'I can find my way to the prof's office all right.'

'But -'

'He said there was no need, Pete.'

Peter glowered at Sirius. 'I was just trying to be supportive. If Remus's mum is sick…'

'And I appreciate it, Peter - but honestly, don't trouble yourself. Get on with your homework. We've got loads to do. I'll be fine.'

'I'll sort your Charms essay out for Flitwick,' Sirius told him ...or more accurately told his roast potatoes. 'Don't worry about it.'

'Thanks.'

'Will you help me with my Charms essay?' Peter asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes, 'if you get stuck, I'll give it the once over. But you should try and get it done yourself first, Pete.'

'I'm not good at this stuff like you!'

'And you won't ever get good if you don't try.'

And much to Remus's relief, Peter and Sirius spent the rest of the meal bickering and he was forgotten. When they were done, he waved cheerily to them once they reached the top of the marble staircase and pretended to head to McGonagall's office - and then doubled back and made his way to the Hospital Wing.

…

James hopped onto Sirius's bed while Peter was off taking a bath. 'That's the second one then,' he said.

'I know.'

'Looks like I'm right.'

'Maybe.'

'So - we speak to him next month?

'Can't.' Sirius pointed to the calendar on the wall. 'Next full moon is during the holidays. He'll be at home. We'll have to wait 'til April.'

' What? But you said…'

'I said we needed three full moons worth of evidence before we spoke to him. We won't have it. We wait until we do.'

James made a sound of frustration - somewhere between a sigh and a snort. 'We need to tell him we know. We need to let him know he can stop lying. You know he's afraid that if we find out we'll hate him? You know that's why he lies?'

'I know.'

'We need to put him straight.'

'No we don't.'

'But -'

'We need to wait until there isn't any doubt left. It's not going to be an easy conversation to have. He's going to get upset. When we do this - we need to do it right.'

They were interrupted then by the sound of Peter's footsteps making their way back up to the dorm - and with a fierce look at James, Sirius bid him to drop the subject. By the time Peter pushed the door open, they were avidly discussing Quidditch. They did not mention Remus again until he turned back up late the next evening.

…

But the two of them were not the only ones who had noted Remus's absence - or been watching out for it. When Lily slipped from the common room and made her cautious way down to the alcove behind Frederica the Fearsome, Severus was waiting for her … and his pallid face was flushed.

'He missed class again today.'

'Hello to you too.'

Severus tutted and gave her a look, 'do we really have to bother with the niceties? I saw you only a few hours ago. Lupin missed class again today.'

'So you said.'

'And he did last month as well - right after your birthday.'

'You mean the birthday where you didn't even get me a present?' she teased.

'I didn't know what you would want.'

'You could have asked.'

'Alright, I should have asked. Sorry - can we talk about Lupin now?' he asked impatiently.

She rolled her eyes. 'Honestly - if you love Lupin so much, why is it me that you're meeting up with in secret?'

His sallow face flushed a dark burgundy. 'He's up to something - and I want to know what. It was them that cut my leg open, you know? I know it was.'

'Don't be silly - a first year couldn't possibly work a lacerating hex.'

'I've learned how to do it.'

'Why?'

He ignored that. 'And didn't you say Black had learned an OWL level charm just to attack me? Of course it was them. And Slughorn said whoever did it would get expelled. But before they go - I want to know where Lupin is disappearing to. So when he turns up again - you're going to ask him.'

She flushed with annoyance and folded her arms. 'Oh am I now? Any more orders, Your Highness?'

'Don't be like that. Just talk to him for me. Don't you want to know where he goes?'

'No - I don't want to know anything about him - or any of them. They're all awful. And anyway - I can't ask him, I'm not talking to him. I'm not breaking coventry.'

Severus tutted again. 'Silly muggle rules from those ridiculous muggle books - you're not a muggle, Lily - and you shouldn't act like one.'

If she had flushed bright red before, it was nothing compared to now. 'And what is that supposed to mean?' Her tone was icy and dangerous … and clearly Severus realised he had strayed onto treacherous ground.

'I just mean … the Wizarding World has different ways to the muggle one. And you need to learn them if you want to fit in. This is your world now, Lily, you have to be able to live in it.'

'And part of living in the Wizarding World is me demanding of a boy I don't even talk to where it is he goes to every month - as if it were any of my business - is it?' She snorted. 'I don't think much of the ways of the Wizarding World if it is. I'll stick with the muggle rules, thanks.'

'Come on, Lily - let's not argue. Especially not over Lupin.'

'Well - stop talking about him then.'

'Just - say you'll speak to him, if you get the chance. Come on, I need you to do this for me, Lily.'

She hesitated - and bit her lip - and then nodded her agreement. 'But only if I get a chance,' she warned.