Chapter Three: Saturday

The next day was a Saturday and so - rather than have to rise early and hot foot it down to the Great Hall ready for breakfast and their first class of the year, the boys enjoyed a more leisurely start to their day.

'It's not right, though, you know,' James grumbled as they ambled their way breakfastwards. 'Last year we got here and - boom - Herbology first thing. This year's lot get two days of mucking around and getting to know the castle before they have to go to class.'

'Well - last year it was a Wednesday … This year is a leap year, so it was a Friday. It's just how the week works,' Remus said reasonably. 'What do you want - for us to not come back until the 3rd just so the first years are straight into lessons to prove a point?'

'Yeah - that would be better.'

'Not for me!' Sirius said. 'I don't want an extra two days at home, thanks.'

'He's right - wouldn't you rather be here for the weekend than at home?'

'Well … maybe,' James conceded. 'But the first years should have had to go to class today. To make it even.'

'I hate to break it to you - but next year, we'll arrive on a Saturday and the first years will get Sunday off. We'll be fourth years before any first years get chucked straight in, like we did.'

'See - totally unfair. They should be in class right now. We should get the day off - but they should be learning.'

'You are a heartless boy, James Fleamont Potter,' Remus smiled.

They entered the Great Hall and took their seats just as the owl post arrived. They were far too used to the hundreds of owls swooping overhead by now that they didn't even slow down to look, and just grabbed themselves toast and kippers and porridge (though further down the table, Lily was - as ever - sheltering her breakfast with her arms: 'I don't care what you say - it's against basic rules of hygiene,' she hissed through gritted teeth at Petra Linehan).

A flash of green overhead caught Sirius's eye - and he watched as his family's elegant eagle owl flew overhead, its green collar marking it out among the other birds. It ignored the Gryffindor table entirely, fluttered its wings, circled the hall and swooped down low over the Slytherin table, where it deposited a letter in front of Regulus and then flew off again.

Sirius kneeled up on his bench and craned his neck to get a good look. Unlike the letter that had arrived for him on his very first morning at school, Regulus's envelope was not red. He had not been sent a howler. Which was only to be expected - he had lived up to his name and done what his parents had expected of him. His letter no doubt would be warm and congratulatory - the way James had joked Walburga's howler had been.

'What a pillock ,' he muttered, sitting back down - and pretending he didn't care.

'Oh come on,' Remus gave him a gentle shoulder barge. 'You know you'd rather be here at this table getting howlers than over with the Slytherins making your mum proud.'

''Course I would! My mum's a bigger pillock than Reg is. The last thing I want is to make her proud. But it would be nice - when it came to the whole "being the shame of the family" thing - to not have to be such a total lone wolf … I mean ... hippogriff.' He blushed bright red.

Remus frowned. 'Is "lone hippogriff" even a saying?'

Sirius turned fully crimson. 'It is now.' He coughed uncomfortably, looked away and caught James' eye. James shook his head and gave him a "what on earth are you doing?" sort of look. Sirius ignored him - and stuck his spoon into his porridge.

…

As the sun was shining and they had no homework - classes having not started yet - they headed straight outside after breakfast. 'So what on earth was that all about?' James muttered to Sirius as the four of them wandered down towards the lake. He pulled the other boy back - letting Peter and Remus go on ahead so they wouldn't hear.

Sirius blushed again. 'I panicked, OK? We don't know how sensitive he is about the …"w" word… you know … if he is the "w" word.'

'He is.'

'I know.'

'Do you reckon it's time to tell him - that we know? That it doesn't matter to us.'

'How do we bring it up? "Hey, Remus - we know you're a monster - it's cool, you don't have to keep lying about it"?'

'We could maybe try for something a bit more subtle that that.'

'Subtle? Us? '

James laughed. 'Well - alright - but we could… build up to it … gradually.'

'What? Like start dropping hints?'

'It's worth a shot.'

'Alright - we each drop a hint once a week from now until he gets it. Agreed?'

'Agreed.'

'Oi!' Remus had turned around and was walking backwards down the path so he was facing them.'What are you two doing back there? keep up!' And they abandoned their conversation and hurried after him.

They reached the lake, where they had a very enjoyable half an hour skimming stones - and then they found a deserted wall, double and triple checked for Big Macca - and then, in time honoured tradition, undid their flies and had a competition to see who could go the highest. (Remus won - as usual.)

When they were done, they went back to the Beech tree by the lake and flopped down in the shade. They stretched out and lazed around and talked about the various hexes they would use on the Slytherins if ever the chance arose.

'And I had an idea that we could flush Snivellus's head down a toilet,' Sirius told them.

'Excellent!' James' eyes lit up. 'You know, sometimes the simple pranks are the most effective.'

'Alright but - we will at least try not to get expelled won't we?' Remus said worriedly.

…

'Look - this is them.' The Gryffindor girls sat right the way across the lake from the boys, also stretched out in the sunshine, while Mandy Thomas showed them an article she had pulled out of her mum's Witch Weekly Magazine. 'I've been listening to them all summer.'

'That one looks a bit like your David Cassidy poster, Lily,' Petra said - pointing to one of the four young men in the photograph.

Lily looked at him and sniffed. 'He's nowhere near as handsome as my David … what's he called?' She asked Mandy.

'That one's Bobby Darrow - he sings. Then there's Roger Smith, Richard Clarke - I like him, he's the drummer, and Kenny Green.'

'And they're all muggleborn?' Mary asked, squinting to get a good look at them, and wrinkling her beautifully retrousse nose as she tried to decide which one she liked the look of the most.

'Yeah - they were all in the same year at Hogwarts a few years ago.'

'Bet none of them were Slytherins,' Petra snorted. '...Speaking of - looks like your "special friend" wants you, Lily.' She pointed to where Severus could be seen walking along the path towards them. He hung back a bit when he saw Lily with all her friends.

'There's nothing between me and Severus,' Lily said, getting to her feet. 'We're just friends from home is all - we come from the same place - we understand each other.'

'Is that what you tell yourself?'

'It's the truth.'

'Maybe for you…'

'You're being silly - don't you think boys and girls can just be friends?'

'No,' the other three Gryffindor girls all said at once.

'Well,' she sniffed. 'I'm just going to go ahead and prove you wrong.' And she ran off down the path towards Severus, ignoring the sounds of the other girls laughing at her.

…

'Alright, Sev?' she called as she got a bit closer to him. He was still hanging back, looking awkward and holding himself stiffly.

'What are they laughing at?' he asked, sharply.

'Me.' She gave him a smile. 'Let's go for a walk… I suppose you're glad to be back.'

'I wish I could stay here over the summer. I think I might sign up to stay for Christmas this year. And Easter. I don't ever want to go home if I can help it. Not that that place is home. Not really.'

'Yes … it isn't always easy going back, is it? With the constant talk of them closing the factory - and the power shortages. This place seems like a world away from all that.'

'It is a world away. A better world.'

'It's funny - when I was in Cokeworth, this place didn't seem real. But now I'm here - I can't get my head around those smoky chimneys and cramped little houses still being there. It does make me feel bad for Tuney - even if she won't be in the same room as me now - it mustn't be nice to have no escape. Especially when she knows I get to - escape, I mean.'

'She doesn't need to escape,' Severus said dismissively. 'She's a muggle - that's where she belongs.'

Lily frowned. 'Even muggles want to live somewhere better than Cokeworth , Severus. Petunia will escape as soon as she can in whatever way she can. But it must be hard for her being stuck there when I get to come here… At least I suppose she has never seen Hogwarts. She doesn't actually know what she's missing. That would be unbearable.'

'I don't know why you worry about her.'

'She's my sister!'

'She's just a muggle.'

'All my family are muggles.'

'Yes ... well...' He didn't quite seem to know how to reply to that. A dark expression flitted across his face … and then he decided to change the subject. 'There is one bad thing about being back though.' He nodded across the lake to where the shadow of the four boys could be seen lounging beneath the tree.

Lily snorted in disgust. 'Oh - them .'

'I hate them.'

'Me too.' She nodded her head vehemently. 'That Potter is an insufferable, arrogant arse. He thinks he's so clever. Always sticking his nose in where he isn't wanted. Sometimes I just stare at him in class thinking about how much I hate him. I can lose hours that way.'

'In Potions it's a real struggle not to just pick up my cauldron, run across the dungeon and dump it on his head,' Severus said. 'Especially when we're making something really nasty.'

'After what happened last year, I'd hope that he'd dial it back a bit, tone it down … but you know he won't. He'll go around still being a great, bullying git and somehow just always manage to stay this side of getting expelled.'

'I wish they'd all get expelled. Black and Lupin too - and Pettigrew just for good measure; though the fat, little lump would be useless without his boyfriends there to protect him.'

'I dunno,' Lily shook her head. 'I think if we could just get rid of Potter the other three might turn out OK. He's the worst. He's the leader. But if you cut off the head of the hideous four part boy monster, then the other appendages might just pipe down and let us all get on with our lives.'

'Well - I'll settle for getting Potter expelled. But ideally I want Black and Lupin gone too. And if they don't manage it themselves, then I might start lending a hand and make it happen.'

…

'Oh - ey up,' James said, sitting up and nodding his head in the direction of the two people walking along the lakeside path. 'Here they come - Hogwarts' number one power couple: Snivellus and FlatuLily. So cute I might puke.'

Sirius gave his bark of a laugh. 'Can't help but notice you don't call her FlatuLily to her face, mate.'

'Well - of course not; she's mental. She'd hex me into next Tuesday. Anyway - we have to pretend to get along now, don't we? After last year - otherwise Big Macca'll have us out on our ears.'

'The girls aren't really so bad,' Remus said lazily. He stifled a yawn. It was very comfortable lying out here under the sun.

But James shook his head. 'Anyone who hangs out with Snivellus is an irredeemable monster,' he muttered darkly.

…

They didn't move until it was time for lunch - when they were done eating, they planned to head back to the common room. There was a Quidditch Match on the WWN that evening, and James wanted to listen in. 'Well - we need to keep up to date if we're betting on the outcome,' he said. 'Me and Pete need to think up something really awful to make you do.'

Peter grinned. 'I've got some ideas.'

But Sirius only snorted dismissively. 'Get lost. The Falcons are rubbish. It's me and Remus that need to be coming up with creative and humiliating forfeits.'

'Yeah right.'

'Is too.'

'You wish.'

'I know .'

'Can we at least argue in sentences longer than two words?' Remus interrupted them, though he was grinning.

'Alright,' James said. 'You two are gonna lose so bad your grandchildren are still going to be doing the forfeit.'

Sirius snorted again. 'Please - I have neither the time, the patience, nor the crayons to explain to you just how wrong you have it, little Potter.'

'I was wrong - can we go back to two word sentences please?'

James flicked his peas at him. Remus flicked some right back. Sirius flicked a forkful of mashed potato. Peter had just picked up a fistful of Brussels sprouts to lob when there came the sound of a throat clearing from the staff table. With a guilty glance towards it, they all clocked just how thin Prof M's lips were … and meekly went back to eating.

Pudding passed without further incident and they headed back to the common room once they were done, avoiding the crowds by taking one of their shortcuts. (Although it had been so long, Remus forgot to jump the trick step and sunk in knee deep, getting well and truly stuck. James and Sirius were no help - they just fell about laughing at him - and so it was up to Peter, alone, to haul him out by his armpits.)

Once they reached the Fat Lady (James and Sirius still chuckling) they scrambled through the portrait hole and grabbed themselves the squashiest armchairs that were positioned closest to the wireless.

'The trouble with this stupid thing,' James said, twiddling with the knobs - his tongue sticking out between his teeth, 'is that it never works.'

He finished with his fiddling. There was a crackle of static air, a loud bang and then … nothing.

'See?' '

'Well, maybe we can get it working,' Sirius said, taking out his wand and starting to tap the radio.

'Well we better had. It's the first match of the season. Broom up is at four - and I want to listen to the pre-match analysis.'

'We'll manage - there's hours yet,' and before they could stop him - Sirius had tapped the wireless three times with his wand and removed the back. They were now faced with an intricate web of dragon heartstrings and copper valves.

'Right,' Sirius said, peering inside, 'let's see what the problem appears to be.' He reached in and, rather enthusiastically, started pulling out handfuls of the magical wires.

The others stared at him - half incredulous, half horrified. 'What do you think you're doing?' Remus asked him.

'Wow - he's gone mental.' James sounded quite impressed by this turn of events … and then remembered what it would mean for his chances of listening to the Quidditch match. 'Oi!'

'Relax! I know what I'm doing.' And while that was debatable, his face was practically glowing as he pulled out wire after valve after cog and examined them each in turn.

'Er - do you really know what you're doing?' Remus asked him after a while. 'Have you ever done this before?'

'No. But I can work it out.' He sounded so supremely confident that they backed away slightly and left him to get on with it.

But Sirius seemed to think that fixing the wireless was so enjoyable it should be a full group activity - and the others found themselves roped into disentangling heartstrings, and holding valves while Sirius fiddled with them, and Peter found himself getting shouted at when one of the cogs got misplaced. ('But I didn't touch it!' he protested. 'Well somebody did,' Sirius barked at him. 'Yeah, you - you nutter,' he muttered back - but under his breath so Sirius wouldn't hear.)

They continued on for ages and ages. No matter how much they pulled out of the back of the wireless, there always seemed to be more to come. Sirius spread it all out on the floor so he could keep track of it, and threatened to thump people who came too close.

Time ticked on. The other three boys were sweaty, exhausted and bored. But Sirius was having the time of his life. His face was lit up like someone had cast 'lumos' inside of him. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, his hands were steady and the tip of his tongue was sticking out from between his teeth. 'Alright, pass me that little valve,' he said, sticking his hand out behind him.

Remus picked up a copper valve and handed it across.

Sirius stared down at it - and then up at Remus, like he was an idiot. 'Not that one, you blinkering moron! The other one!'

'Which one? There's about fifty.'

'Merlin! Do I have to do it all myself?' He tutted and started to rummage.

The others just stared at him like he was mad. James checked his watch. 'Only an hour to go.'

'I'll get it ready. Don't fuss.'

But James checked his watch again.

Sirius was now using the sleeve of his robe to dust down the insides of the wireless. Then he buffed the valves to a high polish. 'That ought to do it.'

'You look like Filch, doing that,' Peter told him darkly. But Sirius chose to ignore him.

'Right, if I hook this up here…' He examined a couple of the dragon heartstrings, chose one and then wound it into place inside the wireless casing. 'And then this…' he wrapped another heartstring around, added a cog and then inserted a valve and tapped the whole thing with his wand.

A spark of green magic fizzed down the wire. 'Aha! Did you see that?' He looked very pleased with himself. 'So, then it's this one.' He started to whistle as he worked.

Heartstring by heartstring, valve by valve, he rebuilt the delicate web of wires; tapping it with his wand every so often and sending those same green sparks shooting through the magical circuitry.

'How are you doing that?' James asked him.

He looked up in surprise. 'Well - it's obvious isn't it? Where everything goes?' He saw their blank faces and looked back towards his handiwork, frowning. 'Doesn't this make sense to you? Can't you see how it's supposed to be?'

'No!' They all replied at once. Indeed, far from it all making sense - the sight of all the wires forming a curling circuit was making Remus feel a bit queasy … he had never looked inside something to see how it worked before. He was just happy whenever it did work and that was enough for him. Apparently not so for Sirius.

'Oh,' Sirius gave a haughty shrug of his shoulders. 'Well, it makes sense to me.'

More time passed - slowly, and one by one, everything that Sirius had taken out of the wireless was found a new place back inside. James checked his watch a couple more times.

With just fifteen minutes to go to broom up, Sirius twiddled one last valve, bent one last heartstring into shape and then put the back back on the casing . 'Done,' he announced proudly. 'Go on, James - switch it on.'

James began to fiddle with the knobs - the three of them watched on breathlessly - there was more crackling static, a squeaking, squawking noise as it searched for a station and then.

'Enchant, enchant me do, Please say I enchant you...'

An upbeat and catchy pop song suddenly floated out over the airwaves. Sirius cheered. Remus and Peter broke out into a round of applause and he took a bow. 'I'm here until Thursday.'

'You know our spell will never be through - so enchant, enchant me do…'

The song finished and the voice of the announcer came on.

'And that was The Kneazles with their summer hit "Enchant Me, Do". These boys have really taken the airwaves by storm these past few months and here they are opening up the first Quidditch match of the new season - and just listen to the crowd roar…'

Sirius sank down in a chair, looking very pleased with himself. James curled up next to the wireless, his ear practically glued to the speaker and settled in for the match - hoping it would be a long one. (It was the Ballycastle Bats vs the Chudley Cannons - so there wasn't much riding on it for any of the boys ...but Quidditch was Quidditch.)

Peter pulled a piece of parchment over to himself and began to draw … his sketch depicted four boys flushing a very greasy head down a toilet. Remus picked up his book and - with one ear still on the wireless - started to read about the red cap infested battlefields of Britain.

They passed a very pleasant evening together. The match went on for over two and a half hours … and once it was done they headed down to tea - talking about it the whole way.

'I can't wait to take that wireless apart again, though,' Sirius said, as they took their seats.

'Are you mental? You just got it working!' James protested. 'Don't take it apart again - we're gonna need it for the whole season.'

'But it was so much fun. I wanna take it apart again.'

'I'll hex you if you try.'

'I'll hex you if you hex me.'

'Boys - boys -' Remus interrupted them. 'We'll find something else for Sirius to take apart.'

After tea they headed back to the common room. James badgered them all until Peter agreed to play a game of Wizard's Chess with him. Remus read his book. Sirius did the crossword.

Peter won the game - and he went back to his drawing, while James sat frowning over the board trying to work out where Peter had outfoxed him. They sat up together late into the night - and the common room had emptied out … when suddenly there was a tapping on the window.

They all turned to look - and saw the elegant eagle owl with the green collar had returned, this time bearing a missive from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black addressed to its heir.

'Oh here we go - ' James said, grinning. 'Another howler - what have you done now, you filthy blood traitor?'

'Dunno,' Sirius shrugged and went to open the window to let the bird inside. Peter looked up from his sketch and Remus put down his book to watch the fun.

But the envelope was a creamy yellow, rather than an angry red. Whatever reason Walburga Black had for contacting her disappointment of an eldest son - she was not doing so by howler.

'Rubbish,' James muttered. 'I wanted to hear.'

'I'll tell you what she says - miserable, old cow.' He slit the envelope open and shook out the letter. Then he whistled. 'Blimey!'

'What is it?' they all asked at once.

'My cousin, Andromeda, has been kicked out of the family. Blasted off the tapestry and everything. My mum says I need to let that be a warning to me.'

'That's friendly,' Remus smiled sympathetically. 'What did Andromeda do?'

'Eloped with Ted Tonks. He's a muggleborn - so now we can't speak her name. Blimey!' his eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead.

'What?' They all chorused again.

'The reason she got married is …' he looked around as if to see if anyone was listening in, and then lowered his voice despite their being alone. 'She was going to have a baby. I mean - she is going to have a baby.'

'That's nice,' Remus said.

Though he was the only one who seemed to think so. Everyone else was frowning. 'What?' Peter asked, sounding confused. 'She was going to have a baby before she was married? I thought you had to be married to have a baby?'

'Well - er - ' James was looking as perplexed as Peter was.

'You don't actually have to be married to have a baby though,' Remus said. 'Most people get married first but you only have to, you know … you know …' He saw their blank faces. 'You … do... know? ' he said uncertainly.

'Know what?'

'How to have a baby.'

The other three boys looked at each other. 'Well - you have to be married … ' Sirius said. 'We're not married. So we don't know.'

Remus rolled his eyes in disbelief. Purebloods! 'Well - you don't have to be married. To have a baby you …' and he leaned forward, lowered his voice, and filled them in on the in and outs of it all.

The boys' faces were a picture - going from embarrassed, to scandalised, to horrified in quick succession. And then came the loud exclamations of disgust. 'That's hideous! I don't believe it!' James said.

'Well it's true.'

'Who told you?'

'My mum - obviously.'

'Why would your mum tell you that?'

'It's … an important thing to know?'

'So you're saying your mum and dad…?'

'Well not just mine. Yours too. Everyone's…'

'Errrrr !'

Remus shook his head. 'Well - that's how it's done. I don't know what to tell you.'

But Peter still looked confused. 'Alright let's say … you know - is how you make a baby. How did Andromeda end up expecting before she was married?'

'That's a good point,' Sirius nodded - and they all turned and looked expectantly at Remus, who sighed.

'Grown ups do it for fun as well,' he said, '… I think .' His mum hadn't told him that part. But he had figured it out; he had heard his parents talking about how he would never get married, because of what he was, and that this was a terrible tragedy … And he started to figure out that they meant he would never get to … you know - and they felt sorry for him … but it was inevitable because no one would ever want a werewolf.

He looked up to see Sirius staring at him intently. 'What?'

'Are you sure about all this?'

'I'm pretty sure, yeah.'

'Well I don't like the sound of it.'

James snorted. 'I think it's fair to say none of us are ever going to want to do that with a girl .'

'I definitely won't!'

'Ted Tonks might have said that once,' Remus said to them mildly. 'He changed his mind - and now he has a baby on the way.'

'And another name has been blasted off our family tree,' Sirius said. He looked gloomy. 'I quite liked Andromeda. I know she was a Slytherin, but she was the least bad of the lot of them. I wonder how many names will get blasted off before it's my turn.'

'Oh - you'll be next for sure, don't sweat it, mate,' James assured him.

Sirius grinned and - balling his mother's letter up and throwing it on the fire, he yawned - stretched - and announced he was going to bed. The others followed him up … Though the three pure bloods were still shuddering at the thought of … well - you know .