Chapter Twenty: Thinking of Forfeits

Silence descended on the room once again. The Minister was white as a sheet, even McGonagall had flinched. The boys all looked at each other, not knowing who this wizard was - or what that name meant.

'Dumbledore,' the Minister said at last, 'you cannot really believe that he is behind this? … Vampirism, cannibalism, murder and mutilation. I know people who know this "Voldemort". Why, Black's own parents… respectable people. Upstanding and important members of our community. And you say this is what they are following?'

'I can only hope - we can all only hope - that they do not know the truth of what it is they are following. That when they realise, they will be as disgusted, as horrified, as the rest of us. But the fact remains - someone murdered that poor person last night. And it was not Remus.'

'It must have been - must have been a wolf…'

'How simple a world we would live in if we could merely blame the evil among us on the works of the "other". I am afraid we do not live in that world, Eugenia. We live in this one - where we must accept that evil walks among us, and can wear a respectable face. That is what makes it so frightening. That is what makes it so dangerous.'

'I cannot accept that a human did this.'

'Well it wasn't a werewolf either,' Sirius interrupted crossly. 'It was a lunar eclipse last night - this person was dead and found before Remus even transformed.'

Everyone turned to stare at Remus. He blushed. 'I did - I did transform really late last night. I'd fallen asleep and everything.'

'And if that is true of Remus, then it will be true of all the other wolves up and down the country,' Dumbledore said. 'Voldemort miscalculated last night - and now he cannot hide what he is doing in the light of the full moon. Eugenia - you must take this seriously. You must take steps to prevent this happening again. To prevent anything else like it happening again. The peace and prosperity of our world hangs in the balance, it is in your hands - and we are all depending on you to protect us.'

'I …' she trembled. 'I still think the wolf should come in for questioning.'

But there was a great cry of outrage, and she found herself staring down the barrel of Lyall's, Sirius's, James' and McGonagall's wands.

'Remus is not going anywhere,' Dumbledore said, definitely. 'Except perhaps the Hospital Wing.'

'Very well,' she gave him one last, lingering look. 'But if darkness is headed our way, Dumbledore - you need to think about the dark creatures living in your midst … and what they might choose to do.'

'Believe me - the protection of my students is, as ever, my number one priority. And protecting them from what is out there - there is no lengths I will not go to keep a child under my care and out of his grasp.'

'I hope you know what you are doing.'

'With respect, Minister, I hope you know what you are doing.'

She took a deep breath, her nostrils flared - and then she turned on her heel and swept out of the office. As the door closed behind her, the three boys broke out cheering, while Remus swayed and nearly collapsed. His father grabbed hold of him and ushered him into a chair.

'Dumbledore - thank you,' Lyall said. '- And Sirius! I don't know where we would be without you.' He looked rather pale and on the verge of collapse himself. He took out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. 'That was … too close.'

Dumbledore smiled sympathetically. 'But all is well that ends we-'

He was cut off by the door banging open once again - and this time Madam Pince came careening inside, looking more like an overgrown vulture than ever. 'Headmaster,' she cried, 'I am here because…' her eyes fell on Sirius and she pointed a trembling, claw-like finger. 'That hooligan!' she said. 'I am here to report him. He has blasted down the library door, he has assaulted me, he has stolen one of my books, he …'

'Madam Pince,' Dumbledore interrupted her. His lips were twitching. 'Though I have no doubt Mr. Black has acted rashly, he has done so in a valiant attempt to prevent a terrible miscarriage of justice. An attempt, I am glad to say, that was wholly successful. He is a hero - and your book played no small part in his heroism.'

She clutched at her bosom and breathed deeply. 'My book? Professor - he has damaged castle property, he pushed me into the stacks…'

'And he will receive detention for that.'

'I'm already in detention until the end of term,' Sirius pointed out.

'Well - he shall receive detention in September for that.'

Sirius looked glum. Dumbledore was still fighting his twitching lips. 'However - praise as well as punishment is due. I think he has quite earned himself two hundred points for Gryffindor for his work today, don't you agree, Minerva?'

'But that only cancels out the points I lost for trying to kill Morgana Murrows.'

'Then you should have thought of that before you tried to kill Morgana Murrows, Black,' McGonagall barked at him - though for all the bite in her voice, her eyes were shining with a fierce pride as she looked at him.

'Quite - now, Minerva - perhaps you would be so good as to take Mr. Lupin to your office for a cup of tea - or possibly something stronger is in order. Boys, please escort young Mr. Lupin to the Hospital Wing - tell Madam Pomfrey I have said you may stay with him. Madam Pince, if you would be so good as to let me keep this stolen book a while longer…' The librarian looked like she wanted to argue. 'I believe it will prove most helpful with a problem I have been trying to work out,' he said - and though his voice was genial, it was clear he was not handing the book over.

'Very well,' she sniffed. 'But I want your word that he will be in detention the first day back.' She pointed at Sirius and then left the room.

Mr. Lupin hugged Remus and shook Sirius by the hand, and then followed McGonagall from the office. And then - with their arms wrapped around each other like some hideous, four part boy monster, the boys headed towards the Hospital Wing.

Left alone, Dumbledore stared down at the book. The frown line was back, his brow was furrowed - and his eyes focused on one line in particular:

Before he created his first horcrux (a form of magic so dark we will not discuss it here) Herpo the Foul tried many things so that he might live forever…

…

The castle was only just starting to wake up, as the boys made their way towards the Infirmary. It seemed impossible that so little time had passed. That while they had lived what seemed like an eternity of anxiety and terror, the rest of the school had been enjoying a Saturday morning snooze.

Madam Pomfrey was overjoyed and inordinately relieved to see Remus walk into her Hospital Wing - though she tried to hide it and pretend nothing was amiss. Still, she didn't insist the others should leave - even before they had told her Dumbledore had said they could stay. Instead she had conjured them each a chair and then found some curtains so Remus could get changed and healed without his friends seeing the worst of his old scars and new injuries.

Once he was in fresh pajamas and snuggled under the covers, with Hippworth's Healing Tincture and some chocolate, the others came round the curtains and sat beside him; they were all beaming. James was sitting next to Sirius, and Remus realised they must have put their fight to one side for him - and their group was now back together. And that thought made him feel even warmer than the tincture and the chocolate combined.

'Thanks, Sirius,' he said. He reached out and squeezed Sirius's hand. 'I thought I was done for.'

'Nah - I told you I'd fix it; you were never in any danger. We weren't worried at all, were we, boys?'

'No way!'

'As if!'

'See - we knew you'd be fine. You just worry too much.' And he squeezed Remus's hand right back.

Remus bit his lip and felt a grin spread across his face. 'Thank you,' he said again.

'Alright,' James cleared his throat a little uncomfortably. 'What about this Lord Volderwhatsit then? What do we think about him?'

Peter shuddered. 'I don't ever want to meet him. That's what I think.'

Sirius let go of Remus's hand, and turned to the others. 'He must be this Dark Lord that everyone was talking about back in the Easter hols.' He whistled. 'I wonder if my mum knows he's a cannibal - or if she's too busy pissing her knickers in fear of not impressing him that she hasn't noticed that he's - er - seriously evil. I mean - my mum is evil. But she's not "eat your heart, drink your blood" evil. You know?'

'It sounds like a lot of high society types are trying to suck up to him,' Remus said thoughtfully. He snapped off a piece of chocolate and handed it to Sirius before he took a bite himself. 'If what the Minister said is true -'

'Er - can I have some chocolate?'

Remus grinned and broke off a piece for James and then one for Peter. 'If what the Minister said is true - then a lot of people are following him. But they don't really understand what he stands for. He isn't just bringing back the old ways; he's bringing in something else entirely.'

'Well, it serves them right if they all end up in hot water up to their necks,' Sirius said. 'Honestly - what's the point in having Ponce's Peerage, if just anybody can declare themselves a Lord and get themselves a following? It's like all the posho purebloods aren't even playing by their own rules.'

'Rules are for other people, not for poshos,' Remus said sagely. 'You should know that, Sirius - when was the last time you thought a rule applied to you?... Ow.' He had just been hit around the back of the head.

'I'm not posh.'

'Oh, mate.' James shook his head. 'The only world where you're not posh is the world where Remus doesn't snore.' And they all laughed for so long that Madam Pomfrey came to tell them off, and then handed Remus a beaker full of sleeping potion.

'You can stay while he sleeps,' she told the others. 'But you need to be quieter than that. He's got a lot to recover from.'

…

Remus slept through the whole of Saturday. And while the rest of the school enjoyed their first day of freedom after the exams, the three boys stayed beside him the whole day - waiting for him to wake up.

Once he was conscious again - Madam Pomfrey let them eat in the Hospital Wing and then sent them back up to the common room. 'How long until your detention starts?' Remus asked Sirius.

'I've got an hour or so yet - I can afford to be late. I'm in Big Macca's good books again.'

They climbed through the portrait hole and were immediately hit by the sound of The Kneazles…

You know I use my wand all day, casting spells to get you things

Making magic for you, gifts of clothes and diamond rings

But I'll never complain, whether sunshine or rain

'Cause you make everything alright

It's been a hard spell to learn…

'Oh for Merlin's sake,' James tutted. 'Why won't this fad die? Yes - I called it a "fad" - and I meant it.'

'Come on, James,' Remus said. 'Today is a good day - you can afford to give them a break.'

'They're fighting back against pureblood mania,' Sirius pointed out. 'They've got a whole load of girly types desperately interested in muggles. That's got to be worth something.'

'And as far as we know, they don't cannibalise people,' Peter said. 'Or if they do - they're keeping it really quiet.'

Sirius and Remus laughed. James still looked mutinous. 'If they just wouldn't clash with the Quidditch. It's the final tomorrow night …'

'We'll listen on our own wireless.'

But James still stuck out his lower lip, flung himself down in an armchair, folded his arms and glowered at everyone in the room. Sirius and Remus shrugged at each other and settled down to the crossword and Peter began to draw. Sitting there all together, even with James sulking, was the happiest Remus had felt in over a month.

When "Hard Spell to Learn" had finished, and the girls had stopped screaming, Bobby Darrow started to speak over the airwaves. ('What? Did he know just how long they'd all scream for?' James muttered to himself - while no one paid attention to him, not even Peter. 'Slick git.')

'Thanks everyone - I hope you all enjoyed that. Now we know our fans will have been running themselves ragged, doing their exams recently. And now they're over and it's time to cut back and enjoy the summer. So we're releasing a new song tonight - just for our Hogwarts fans…'

The girls all screamed. James rolled his eyes and tutted.

'And this song is about an icon - a legend - of Hogwarts. So here it is, folks - for the first time ever. Our new summer song:'

The girls screamed again. The guitars started to strum. And then…

The giant squid, yeah yeah yeah

The giant squid yeah yeah yeah

The giant squid yeah yeah yeah yeah

'Oh for goodness sake!' James roared in exasperation - while all the girls shot him dirty looks, and Peter tried to shush him. 'Well come on, Pete - did someone get paid to write those lyrics? They're a joke! They're even worse than the Christmas one…'

Sirius smirked and pointed to the clue for 19 down for Remus to look at:

Famous street immortalised in song by singing sensations The Kneazles (11 letters)

'Don't tell James,' he whispered, while Remus laughed and filled out the answer.

Well we we've seen he's big

He lives within the black lake

And he pulls the boats

And then he takes a year long break!

Yeah he lives there

And we don't know where he came from

Yeah he lives there

And we don't know if it's right or wrong!

The giant squid, yeah yeah yeah …

The song lasted for over two minutes, and came to a close amid the screaming of the girls - and, with that, Kneazles hour was over, and it was time for the Witching Hour with Singing Sorceress Celestina Warbeck. The wireless was switched off and James breathed a sigh of relief.

Once the crossword was done, Sirius headed for his detention. Remus picked up his latest book ( "The Riddle of The Sphinx: The Lion, The Woman, The Legend " by Empedocles Enigma) and James and Peter settled down to a game of exploding snap.

But the Kneazles fans in the room were still singing. And eventually James could not face another rendition of "The Giant Squid" and ordered the other two boys upstairs.

'So - is everything alright with you and Sirius now?' Remus asked, as they got ready for bed.

'Well - he's still a complete idiot,' James said. 'A bit of a nutter, and I won't be forgetting that any time soon. But he really came through for us all today - so I suppose I can get over it.'

Remus smiled. 'Good.'

'Er - is he alright though? Is he still a bit … mental?'

And the smile slid from Remus's face. 'I think he's calmer. He told me what was bothering him - he didn't mean to - he just sort of blurted it out. And he's been a bit less angry since then. I think keeping it bottled up inside was hurting him.'

'What happened?'

But Remus shook his head. 'I can't tell you. It's not my secret to tell. And I promised … but we can't let him go home for the whole summer, James. He has to go to yours or come to mine or something. If he goes back to them … I don't know what he'll be like in September. What they'll have done to him.'

'He can come to mine. You all can. We'll have a great time.'

'We just need to keep him safe. I owe him that.'

'We will. Er - will he be getting into bed with you tonight?'

'Dunno. But if he does - don't be weird about it, James. Don't make jokes.'

'I won't say a word.'

Peter and James had fallen asleep by the time the dormitory door opened and Sirius returned from his detention. He got into his nightshirt and then scrambled into bed with Remus.

'How was it?'

'Not bad - Big Macca let me have a biscuit.'

'Wow - you must be back in her good books.'

He gave his bark of laughter. 'Yeah right … So - how are you doing?'

'Oh - you know - I'm still here.' He gave Sirius a gentle shoulder barge. 'Thanks to you.'

…

As the next day was Sunday, Sirius had a respite from his constant detentions - which could only be a good thing, as that evening was the final match of the season for the British and Irish Quidditch League. It was the long awaited second leg of the Falcons vs the Harpies and tension was high and literal wand sparks were flying in the second year boys' dorm.

Both teams had continued their downward trajectory, their run of bad luck and their general trend towards disaster. That, coupled with a sudden hot streak for the Chudley Cannons, had left them both right at the bottom of the table. The Harpies were currently dead last - in thirteenth place. The Falcons only pipped them to twelfth by virtue of their snitch win back in January. That meant that not only did the Harpies have to win the match in order to snatch twelfth place, but they had to win by more than 150 points.

'It's Gryffindor vs Slytherin all over again,' Remus groaned. 'I don't think I can take it.'

But he had no choice. The bet had been made long ago - and now was the time to see it through.

Broom up was at four. The two pairs spent the whole day beforehand muttering in corners and making jibes at the other couple, threatening them with humiliations yet to come. They used the invisibility cloak to sneak down to the kitchens and steal flasks of pumpkin juice, sandwiches and cream cakes to see them through the match (not that they needed to do much in the way of stealing, the house elves gladly handed over everything they asked for) and then settled down, switched on the wireless and listened in to the pre-match analysis.

'I think we can do this,' Sirius said confidently.

'No way - you're going down, Black.'

'Get lost, Potter - and get ready to snog the giant squid.'

'Yeah? Get ready to snog Snivellus .'

'You wouldn't dare!' He threw his pillow as hard as he could at James - and knocked his glasses off.

'Git!'

'Speccy twerp.'

On the wireless, the referee's whistle blew - and the commentator announced that the teams had flown into the air. The quaffle was thrown, the snitch released - the game was on …

What followed was three hours of screaming, and jumping on the bed and thumping the pillows and firing wandsparks in victory and groaning in defeat. After Myfanwy Jones scored the tenth goal, Sirius grabbed Remus and shook him so hard his teeth rattled. But when David Acomb scored the equaliser for the Falcons, James seized Peter around the head and danced around the room with the other boy locked in a half nelson and scrabbling to get free.

The bludgers rocketed around, the quaffle moved so fast the commentator couldn't keep up and the snitch was notable only by its absence. The teams were neck and neck - for every goal scored an equaliser was just around the corner. For every penalty awarded to one team, another one would be given to the other just a moment later. The boys yelled until they were hoarse, until their throats hurt and their voices were croaky.

And then - at just past seven o'clock - as the shadows began to lengthen over the Quidditch pitch and dusk was drawing in, the commentator suddenly shouted:

'Wait! Was that the Snitch?'

The crowd at the match began to roar, the commentator was yelling wildly as the two seekers zoomed towards their goal … and up in the dorm in Gryffindor Tower, the boys could not hear a word as all four of them yelled and screamed and jumped and clung onto each other.

'Of course the score was bang on 120-120 so this is the decider…'

The boys were red in the face from yelling. Sirius was leaping from bed to bed and bouncing on the pillows. Remus had covered his face and was digging his nails so deeply into his skin that it was starting to hurt. James had picked up a pillow and was relentlessly beating his bed with it as he yelled: 'come on now, come on!' And Peter was hopping from foot to foot - as if the floor was burning his feet - and squealing with every jump.

'It's closing in - it's getting there. It's neck and neck. Who will get there? There's less than an inch in it. It all comes down to this - who wants it the most … aaannnd…. Lilah Lingrass grabs the snitch. The Harpies have won the match…'

Remus and Sirius screamed and shook each other rather violently - while James collapsed on the bed, groaning.

'But what's this? I'm looking at the league table now… and … Ladies and gentlemen, I don't believe it. The Falcons were ahead by a full 150 points. Both teams were on equal goals when Lingrass caught the snitch … so the Harpies win the match but both teams finish out the season on the same number of points. They both finish joint twelfth…'

Sirius and Remus stopped screaming and stared at the wireless. James sat back up.

'Of course another way of looking at joint twelfth is that both teams finish dead bottom. What a terrible season this has been for the Falcons and the Harpies. Truly one to remember - and for all the wrong reasons. The fans of both teams must be feeling very bitter right about now…'

'Well,' said Sirius, after a long while of shocked silence. 'I suppose if we both finished bottom then at least none of us have to do the forfeit.'

'Oh no,' James said, shaking his head. 'You don't get out of it that easily. We made a bet. We both lost. All four of us have to do a forfeit .'

…

Up in their own dormitory, away from the melodrama and heartache, the girls were lying on their beds on their fronts, their legs kicking in the air, reading through their copies of " Jackie" magazine - looking for any tips to be hip that they might have missed first time around. They were humming The Kneazles new song - and every so often singing a brief snatch of the words. 'The giant squid, yeah yeah yeah…'

'You know,' Mary said, all of a sudden, looking up from her magazine. 'That awful Rita Skeeter is leaving at the end of term.'

'So?' said Lily.

'So … that'll mean no more School News Scoops. '

'And good riddance - it was a vile rag.'

'Yeah but … don't you think it might leave a gap in the market?'

Petra wrinkled her nose in confusion. 'Are you saying you want to take over writing the newspaper?'

But Mary shook her head. 'Not a newspaper - no. But …' She lifted up her magazine. 'I think people would really go for a witching one of these. Think about it; Mandy could do fashion tips. And I'd write about boys and beauty tips. Lils, you could do the problem page - and handy spells for the modern teen witch. And Petra could do the Gobstones and Quidditch news. We'd make it just like "Jackie" - but magical. I bet the girls here would eat it up. You know how crazy everyone is for muggle stuff these days.'

'It sounds like a lot of work,' Mandy said doubtfully.

'Well we wouldn't do it every week. Just every month. All decent magazines are only monthly. And it would be split between the four of us. Rita managed to get out a newspaper a week all by herself - and it was her NEWT year … I bet we could manage this.'

'I don't know,' Lily shook her head. 'I want to keep up working hard. I think Black beat me in at least the Charms exam - and I wanted to be top in everything. I certainly didn't want a pureblood coming top. I've got a point to prove … And we have all those new subjects to take in third year.'

'Oh come on - you have a massive brain - you can study and still do this. And anyway - it will really raise our profile. Everyone will know who we are. That proves your point too. If everyone's talking about you … Hellraiser.'

Lily's lips twitched. 'Well - alright - I'll think about it .'

'I was thinking of something else we could do as well - prove that we all live up to the name. Make ourselves really famous. So we'd be able to write to Roger and the rest and tell them about it.'

'What?' the other three asked, incredulously.

'Well - you know how The Kneazles just wrote a song about the giant squid?'

They all nodded.

'I think we should go swimming with it.'

They all screamed.

'I'm serious - we'll go at night. Go swimming with the squid. Take a picture - so we can send it to the boys in the band. I'm going to pad the front of my bathing suit ,' she whispered the last bit - and the other three girls squealed in gleeful shock. 'But the important thing is - we want everyone talking about it. So we need Professor McGonagall to catch us in the act. Next Transfiguration lesson - I'll say something so she overhears - and then we'll go swimming that night. Agreed?'

And looking nervously mischievous, the other three girls nodded their heads.

…

With both teams finishing dead last, the four boys found themselves in the position of both winning and losing the bet. And so they were in the position of both having to come up with the most humiliating forfeit they could think of - and having to perform another such forfeit themselves. It was agreed both pairs would perform their forfeit on the same day - and now, James said, they just had to finalise the details. By which - of course - he meant they had to come up with ideas so embarrassing that the memory of this would haunt them for the rest of their time at Hogwarts… and maybe beyond.

'Why did we agree to this?' Sirius asked, scowling - as he watched James and Peter whisper to each other. They kept laughing - and Remus had to admit their chuckles were making him deeply nervous.

'Because back in September this seemed like a very long way away.'

'Well - that's the trouble with time, it sneaks up on you - and then you're stuck doing the thing you thought would never actually happen.'

'What's the matter, Black?' James called across to him. Once again, his face was shining like a sweaty but delighted cheese. 'Chicken?'

'You wish.' He glowered, as James and Peter made clucking noises at him, and flapped their arms like chicken wings. 'Come on, Remus, what are we gonna make them do?'

'Alright - how about…' And he leaned in close, whispering directly into Sirius's ear. Sirius looked across at where Peter and James were sitting - and his face lit up in an evil grin.

…

They had to stop off at the boys toilets on the way to Transfiguration that week, so James and Peter could get ready for their forfeit. Sirius and Remus kept snorting and stuffing their knuckles into their mouths to try and stop themselves laughing, not wanting any teachers to realise they were up to something before it could all come to fruition.

Peter and James were not laughing. Far from it. But - though he had a scowl on his face that rivalled anything Sirius ever wore - James was still determined to see this through. Though Peter would have much rather welched, and lived with the shame of his cowardice. Better the shame of cowardice than the shame of …

'Alright, put on the invisibility cloak,' Remus said through the cubicle door. 'You have to be able to get into Big Macca's lesson.'

'Yeah yeah…'

And Remus and Sirius snorted with laughter again.

The door opened - and nothing came out. 'Are you there, mate?' Sirius asked - patting thin air and feeling the shape of two people. 'You can change your mind, you know? We can call the whole thing off.'

'You wish - just you wait 'til we get our own back.'

It was Sirius's turn to say 'yeah yeah.' And then he lowered his voice. 'Have you got the camera?' he whispered to Remus.

Remus nodded. They grinned at each other - and then started ushering the invisible boys out of the bogs and towards the Transfiguration classroom.

When they arrived, Mary and Lily were whispering loudly about something they were planning to do that night - and Big Macca was frowning at them, but not saying anything. Sirius and Remus, however, were too giggly to listen.

'You're late,' McGonagall barked at them, as they arrived. 'Where are the other two?'

'They're around here somewhere,' Remus said.

'Well - we'll make a start without them. Wands out. Now the exams are over, but that doesn't mean it is time to slack off. Who can demonstrate for me something we have learned this year?'

Lily started things off by changing her textbook into a teapot and then back again.

'Very good. Black?'

'Alright - this is one I remember. It's pretty impressive magic.' He raised his wand - as if about to cast a spell, and wrapped his other fist around the hem of the invisibility cloak. He waited until all eyes were on him … 'Revelio' he cried and pulled the cloak clean off the two boys … exposing them, all of a sudden, like he had just conjured them from thin air - and leaving them standing there, blinking in front of the whole class, wearing nothing but their Y fronts and wizards hats.

Everyone stared at them for a moment. There was the world's longest silence as they took in the two almost naked boys. And the two boys stared back out at them from beneath their hats.

And then the class exploded into giggles. Remus took his photograph. Peter and James blushed bright red from the tips of their toes to the brims of their hats. Lily had taken one look at James and was now laughing so hard she was crying. Mary had fallen off her chair. Petra was clutching at her side like she had a stitch. Even Professor McGonagall looked like she was only making her lips go thin to avoid being seen to smile.

Peter stared down at his bare toes, wiggling them forlornly and wishing the earth would open up and swallow him whole.

James was now the approximate colour of a quaffle.

Remus took another photograph.

'I think that is enough,' Professor McGonagall finally managed to get her smirking mouth under enough control to speak. 'Detention, boys - for coming to class out of uniform…'

That made everyone choke with laughter. Peter and James had long since left red behind and were now purple.

'Now I suggest you head back to Gryffindor Tower and find something more appropriate to wear.'

James reached out for the invisibility cloak. But Sirius shoved it behind his back and shook his head. And - with no other choice - the two of them turned and stumbled from the classroom, fleeing through the castle to find some clothes before the rest of the school saw them.

Remus took one final photograph.

…

'Skinny dipping,' James announced at tea.

'What?' Sirius and Remus asked aghast.

'Yep - you did that to us. You're going full nude - and I don't care who sees you. Today.'

'Yeah - alright.' Sirius suddenly didn't sound too bothered. Remus stared at him like he was mad. But Sirius only shrugged. 'Well - it's got to be today, hasn't it, we agreed - we do the forfeits on the same day.'

'Too right.' James nodded rather sanctimoniously. 'That's an unbreakable rule.'

'I agree … only,' he hissed through his teeth and looked at his watch. 'I've got detention starting right after this … and I don't know how long it'll last so … by the time me and Remus go to the lake … ' he shrugged again. 'Everyone else will be in bed and no one will see us. Sorry James. But those are the rules. Remus - fancy a bit of an after dark swim?'

Remus grinned, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

James looked outraged. No - that's not … you have to go now !'

'I can't. I can't be in two places at once, mate.'

'But that's cheating!'

'If you say so. But my hands are tied.'

'Then you have to do another forfeit.'

'No - you've chosen. You can't change your mind now.'

James made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat and folded his arms grumpily. Sirius looked supremely smug. But he still pulled James back and began to whisper to him, once they were walking down the hallway.

'You mustn't look at Remus when he takes his T-shirt off,' he hissed.

'What part of "public nudity" do you think isn't public?'

'You can stare at his todger all you want…'

'Why on earth would I want…'

'But promise me you won't look at his scars.'

'Oh … right … of course we won't.'

Sirius nodded - and went off to do his detention.

…

It was dark by the time Sirius came back (and James was convinced he had lingered in detention on purpose - though Sirius pointed out that he had hardly begged to spend extra time with Filch). The four of them ducked under the invisibility cloak and made their way out of the castle.

The front doors were still open, just a crack, when they got there - and they saw the tail of a tabby cat whisk around it and vanish from view … presumably someone's pet heading out into the night to hunt for mice.

They made their way down the lakeside path and came to a stop underneath the sprawling Beech tree.

'It's such a shame there's no one here to see us,' Sirius said, mock wistfully.

'It's alright - I've got Remus's camera - everyone can see the pictures. You know they say a picture speaks a thousand words?'

'Git.' He and Remus eyed up the water rather nervously. 'Alright - right to the edge. Keks off - straight in. Before he can take the picture. You ready?'

'As I'll ever be.'

They inched forward, so their toes were dangling over the bank. 'Alright - one, two three, strip…' and they both began to remove their clothes at top speed; pulling off their robes, kicking off their shoes, yanking off their socks, and ragging off their underwear. Sirius divested himself of his underpants last of all - whereas Remus kept his T-shirt on until the last second - and then they both tumbled headfirst into the black waters of the lake and disappeared from view with a splash.

They both resurfaced, spitting out water and laughing. It wasn't half bad now they were in - and the dark and the water protected their modesty. They swam around and splashed each other. And though James took a photo - the flash blinding them for a moment - all he got was their heads bobbing up and down.

'This was a rubbish idea for a forfeit,' Sirius called back to the bank. He lay on his back and skulled along towards the middle of the lake. 'This is great, you should come in and join us.' He disappeared under the water, swam back to Remus and then pulled on his legs - so he went under.

They resurfaced again, choking and spluttering, and Remus dived on him and pushed him beneath the surface. They mucked around, splashing each other and fighting each other and racing each other and laughing the whole time.

James stood on the lake's edge, pouting. 'Gits,' he muttered sulkily …and thought maybe he should join in … it did look fun… And then he heard the distant sound of singing:

'The giant squid, yeah yeah, yeah. The giant squid yeah, yeah, yeah…'

'Is that…?'

'That sounds like the girls,' Peter said.

In the lake, the two boys had heard it too - and frozen up; their splashing stopped as they twisted this way and that looking for …

And then Lily Evans popped upright beside them. And then Mary and Mandy and Petra.

The boys screamed and splashed backwards and then hunkered down as low in the water as they could, and put their hands protectively between their legs.

'What are you doing here?' Lily asked.

'What are you doing here?'

'We came to swim with the squid… Why are you so low in the water?'

'No reason… where did you come from?'

'Over there,' she pointed to the other side of the lake.

'Right well - you go back over there and we'll just …'

'Why are you so twitchy?'

'No reason.'

'Well - you better get out of here if you don't want to get in trouble. McGonagall knows we're going to be here. She's going to catch us.'

'What?' Sirius barked, splashing even further back and wondering if he could make it to the bank before his Head of House caught him with his todger out … again .

'Why?' Remus was utterly appalled.

Lily just shrugged and continued to tread water serenely. 'We wanted to get caught - to get into trouble … so people would talk about us again. Like with the cigarettes.'

' Women, ' Sirius hissed under his breath in disgust.

'What's the big deal?' Petra asked him, 'you're always in trouble - oh, look sharp, here she is…'

Both boys swivelled in the water and stared in horror - as a dark shadow billowed out from beneath the Beech tree - and suddenly there was Big Macca, standing by an absolutely delighted looking James.

'That tabby cat ,' Sirius breathed to himself, remembering and cursing himself for being so stupid. 'Bollocks.'

'All of you - out this minute!' McGonagall called to them. 'Detention - fifty points from Gryffindor. Each.'

The girls started to swim to shore. Remus and Sirius stayed where they were, neck deep in the water and staring at each other in horror. James was practically dancing.

'Aren't you coming?' Lily asked, turning back to them.

They blushed so deeply it was visible in the silvery light of the waning gibbous moon. 'We can't,' Remus said from between gritted teeth.

'All of you out,' McGonagall yelled. 'Unless you want to lose even more points.'

Lily turned back to stare at them, 'why are you…?' And then her eyes widened as she realised what the matter was. 'You're skinny dipping!' she cried. And she burst into peels of laughter. 'Professor! They can't get out of the lake because they haven't any clothes on.'

McGongall stared at them. The boys burned bright red … and then the night was lit up in a brilliant flash of light, as James took a photograph of them.