Chapter Six: Bribery and Corruption

It was not often that the four Gryffindor boys were delighted to be given homework. But on this occasion they were only too happy to go to the library after their lessons had finished and get a start on the essay Big Macca had set them about the history of animagi. Remus was still a little reticent about the whole idea, but the others were positively gleeful about their big breakthrough and overruled all his objections.

James was disgusted to discover the girls were in the library as well - though at least they did not seem to be doing their Transfiguration homework (in fact they did not seem to be doing schoolwork of any kind) and the boys gave them a wide berth; they selected a range of likely looking books, chased some first years out of the cosiest spot in library and started combing through the texts to find what they needed to know.

'This is interesting,' James said, pointing to the section he was reading. 'On the uses of being an animagi. This says some bird called Lysette de Lapin was arrested for witchcraft in 1422, only to vanish from her prison cell without trace. Later a white rabbit was seen crossing the channel in a cauldron with a sail attached - and a while later Henry VI took on a white rabbit as a trusted advisor.'

'Wasn't he mad, though?' asked Remus.

'That's not the point. The point is Lysette was an early animagus, very probably she was the inspiration for Babbity Rabbit in "The Tales of Beedle the Bard". And - more importantly - she used her powers for sneaking around, which is what we want to do.'

'Yeah - this book says most animagi use their animal forms for illegal activities,' Peter turned his book around to show them all the pertinent passage. 'That's why they have the register at the Ministry. They record the unique markings so they can spot wizards up to no good in their animal form. In fact …' he traced a finger along the next line. 'It says here that some wizards have even disappeared forever and lived in their animagus form, if they commit some terrible crime, and there is an international wizardhunt for just - poof - turn into a hamster, or whatever, and live the rest of their life like that.'

'It'd be good if Big Macca committed a terrible crime and she had to stay hidden as a tabby for eternity. Get her off our backs.'

'Never going to happen, mate,' Sirius said absently, still reading his own book.

'It's not just to catch criminals, though,' Remus chewed on his lower lip in worry. 'They keep tabs on those trying to become animagi because it's so dangerous, look -' and he pushed his own book towards the other three, showing them diagrams of witches and wizards who had become trapped halfway between human and animal and were horribly mutated. 'It can go badly wrong.'

'We'll be fine,' Sirius said, not even bothering to look.

'You don't even get to choose what you become.'

'I don't need to choose - I know I'll become something awesome.'

'You might be a naked mole rat.'

'I won't be a naked mole rat.' He slammed his own book shut. 'This isn't enough. It's telling us what an animagus is but it's still not telling us how to become one.'

'Well it's very dangerous magic,' Remus told him. 'Dumbledore's not just going to leave books with stuff like that in them lying around where any Tom, Dick and first year can get their grubby mitts on it.'

'No,' James agreed. His eyes narrowed and he stared past the table where the girls were sitting, and towards the bookshelves beyond. 'He'll have put those books in the Restricted Section.'

…

Over near the Restricted Section, and ignoring the boys completely, the girls had spread piles of parchment across their own table - and were busy poring over them, cross referencing facts and writing little notes in the margins.

'I think I've worked out the charm to seal envelopes so only I can open them,' Lily said. She frowned, a small wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows. 'I just need to work out how to get the delivery owls to work out that "Dear Dianella" is me, and bring the letters to the right person.'

'If anyone writes,' Mary pointed out.

Lily only shrugged. 'Someone will … eventually. Until then, I'll just have to make them up. Like I'm doing for our first edition.'

Petra scratched her nose with her quill, and bent over a copy of the Daily Prophet, which she had open on the Quidditch listings. 'There's not much I can do until after the weekend. I'm going to do a write up of the matches but… they haven't played yet.'

'It will mean having to listen in … with Potter .'

But Petra only smiled. 'Some of us like Quidditch, Lils. I can stand James' presence for an hour or so …it's not like I have to talk to him. Although … What are you writing Mary, in your "Mastery of the Male Mind" column? … Something about what it means when you protest too much about hating someone?'

Lily blushed a bright red, which clashed horribly with her hair. 'And what in Merlin's name is that supposed to mean?'

'Oh, it's a well documented fact,' Mary told her, with some authority. 'That when you fancy someone you…'

'She means general "you" not just you, Lils … though also you.'

'... go way over the top about pretending not to like them. I'm doing a whole exposé on the infatuated mind - and a breakdown on how you can tell if a boy likes you based on how much he tells you he doesn't like you.'

Lily tutted. 'Well I've never heard such nonsense. I don't go around pretending not to like Bobby … Mandy, tell me you're writing something a bit less airy fairy?'

'I'm doing a piece on where you can buy robes that look like they're made from Hag-made fabrics.'

The furrow in Lily's brow deepened. 'Come again?'

'You know - Hag-made silk, Hag-made lace…'

Lily and Mary still looked nonplussed.

Mandy sighed. 'Look - you know how the Goblins run Gringotts? And the Dementors guard Azkaban?' The two muggleborn girls nodded. 'Well - Hags make fabric for robes. It's a whole cottage industry. That's what Hags do.'

'So … does that mean there's a Hag in the back of Madam Malkins, making all her material?' Lily asked.

'No - there's a Spinning Jenny with an enchantment on it churning out mass produced fabric, in the back of Madam Malkin's… But she will get in Hag-made stuff for her really expensive dress robes. Only the best clothes are made from Hag-made materials, and only poshos like the Blacks can afford it. That's why I'm writing an article on how to find cheap stuff that looks like the real deal. The girls will all go mad for it.'

…

'This just isn't good enough.'

'You need to be patient, Sirius.'

'I'm always patient.'

The other three boys all snorted.

'You can laugh,' Sirius said to them haughtily. 'But we're this close,' (he held his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart) 'and I don't want to waste my time on researching whether or not Babbity Rabbit is a true story.'

'But that's what the homework is,' Peter said, '... sort of. Not quite.'

'Then the homework is stupid! Who cares about who became the first animagus? I want to know how they did it.' His eyes searched out the Restricted Section, and a hungry expression crossed his face.

'We'll go in there, mate,' James said. 'Just … not when Madam Pince is lurking about. There's no rush.'

'The full moon is next Wednesday! Of course there's a rush!'

Remus bit back a smile. 'I don't think you're going to be an animagus by next Wednesday, Sirius. It's going to take time. And you need to get this right; how am I supposed to live with the guilt, if you have to live the rest of your life stuck with the head of a naked mole rat? Let's just do the actual homework - and worry about the extracurricular stuff in our extracurricular time.'

'Fine - I'll write my silly little essay now, like a good boy. But I want you researching this properly while we're in Care of Magical Creatures tomorrow.'

Remus shook his head. He was going to write his boggart essay while they were in Care of Magical Creatures tomorrow … but he wasn't going to tell Sirius that.

…

They did a better job of getting up on time the next morning, and managed to get into the Great Hall before the owl post arrived (although they were still yawning widely, and their eyes were sleep encrusted). A flash of green collar among the mass of brown feathers circling the ceiling jolted Sirius into a more alert state. His eyes narrowed as he watched his family's handsome eagle owl swoop down and drop a letter next to Regulus. Needless to say, there was not something for Sirius as well (though the lack of a Howler was certainly welcome).

'What are they writing to him for, already?' he wondered, kneeling up on the bench to get a better look. Across the Hall, Regulus sliced open the envelope and pulled out the parchment. A smug smirk of satisfaction spread across his face as he read, and he showed the letter to his best friend, Tristram Rowle, who looked equally delighted.

'Well that doesn't bode well,' Sirius said, sitting back down. 'Git.'

'Speaking of - double Charms with the Slytherins this morning,' James told him.

'Double gits.'

Remus was quite looking forward to today - as it promised to be an easy one. After double Charms he had prep up on the fourth floor, while the others were in Care of Magical Creatures, and then he had another session of prep after break, while Sirius and James were in Arithmancy. He didn't have another lesson until after lunch - his first Ancient Runes class, and then they had an early finish because it was double Astronomy later that night. With any luck, he would get most of his homework out of the way and have time for a quick nap before he was due in the Astronomy Tower.

Once Charms was out of the way, he waved cheerfully to his friends and headed upstairs, while they made their way out into the grounds.

…

Care of Magical Creatures was taught by a rather gnarly old wizard, called Professor Kettleburn. He had a tanned and weatherbeaten face, and sparse white hair which grew in tufts behind his ears. He looked rather like a gummy walnut - and was conspicuously missing the lower part of his left leg. And that was not all…

'What happened to his fingers?' Peter asked rather nervously. 'He's missing some fingers…'

Professor Kettleburn must have heard. 'Bitten off by a rather irate snapping turtle,' he told them cheerfully. '- The magical kind, not the common kind. We have a flotilla of them living in the Black Lake.'

Peter cast a nervous glance towards the lake. The giant squid chose that moment to raise a tentacle and slap it down on the water, causing a small tidal wave …but of the snapping turtles there was no sign.

'Not to worry, not to worry - we're not doing snapping turtles today. We're starting rather smaller - with Flobberworms.'

'Do Flobberworms bite off fingers?' Peter squeaked, sounding terrified.

'Not usually. No teeth see?' And Professor Kettleburn smacked his own gums and started talking the class through the finer points of Flobberworm care.

'What an utterly pointless hour that was,' Sirius complained at breaktime. 'Honestly, what's the point of looking after a Flobberworm? Who cares if they live or die? We better get something better than that next lesson.'

'Just not anything that might lose us a finger,' Peter said quietly.

…

After break, James and Sirius went off to Arithmancy - hopeful this would prove more exciting than the Flobberworms - and Remus returned to prep, this time accompanied by Peter. 'Are we going to start looking up how to become animagi?' Peter whispered to him.

But Remus shook his head. 'Get your boggart essay done, Pete - and start looking up those dates of Goblin rebellions for Binns.' He picked up his Potions textbook and began to flick through it (they hadn't been given Potions homework - but Remus had made such a mess of the lesson, that Slughorn had told him he needed to look over the recipe again).

But Peter was looking doubtful. 'But Sirius said to…'

'We don't have to do what Sirius tells us, Peter.'

'Well, maybe you don't. He loves you.' (Remus dropped his textbook). 'But me…' he shuddered, and then noticed Remus scrabbling down on the floor. 'What are you doing?'

'Nothing,' he emerged, clutching his Potions book. 'Alright then - you get on with your homework, I've already done mine. I'll make a start on the animagus books - to keep Sirius quiet.'

'Alright …but if he asks, say I helped.'

…

Meanwhile, up in Professor Vector's classroom, Sirius and James were being introduced to the ancient (and rather mystifying) art of Arithmancy.

'Our entire universe, even the magical aspects of it, runs off scientific and mathematic principles,' she told them. 'The building blocks of reality can be broken down into numbers, and those numbers can, in turn, tell us about the world they make up. In this classroom we examine reality, investigate truth and search for meaning and patterns in the chaos. It is not for the faint hearted and certainly not for the weak of mind…'

James took out his quill and scrawled a note, which he then pushed across to Sirius:

Maybe I should have taken muggle studies

'... But for those canny enough to tap into this noble art, to truly master it, then the past present and future can be revealed; all its complexity made simple and laid out to be read, for those discerning enough to read it. For everything you will ever need to know is hidden in plain sight - in the numbers.'

Sirius scribbled his own note back:

Look at Snivellus. He's lapping this up.

James craned his neck and peered over to where Severus was sitting beside the loathsome FlatuLily, both of them taking avid notes.

Greasy git. Watch this!

And he took out his wand, held it under his desk, pointed it at Snape's face and whispered 'Engorgio!' Immediately Snape's (already large) nose began to swell to enormous size. He cried out in alarm as the weight of it dragged his head down, and he smashed face first into the desk. Blood spurted everywhere.

Lily also cried out. Heads turned to look, chairs scraped back and people scrambled out of the way. Severus overbalanced and toppled off his stool. Sirius and James shoved their knuckles into their mouths to try and prevent themselves from howling with laughter. Severus was now lying curled up on the floor, crying out, his neck unable to support his head now that his nose was so massively outsized.

'Finite!' With a wave of her wand, Professor Vector stopped Snape's nose from growing any more and then returned it to normal size. Her eyes flashed dangerously. 'Mr. Snape - go to the hospital wing.' He fled (Sirius and James were now in pain from having to keep their laughter silent) and she turned on the class, breathing heavily. 'Who is responsible for this?'

…

'So then we both got detention!' James told the others indignantly over lunch. 'Tomorrow night - helping Filch restock every chandelier in the school with fresh candles! It'll take forever!'

'It was worth it though,' Sirius said, the tears now streaming down his face. 'You should have seen it - his nose was bigger than he was.'

Peter grinned. But Remus only managed a weak smile. 'Had he done anything to deserve it?' he asked.

'You mean besides existing?'

'Ideally - yes.'

'Well then - no. But - come on, Remus,' he wheedled, when he saw Remus's disapproving expression. 'He's evil. He thinks evil things - he'd do them too, if he was old enough. He deserves to be hexed.'

'Too right he deserves it. We're the good guys,' James agreed earnestly.

But Remus did not look convinced.

Obviously Madam Pomfrey had given Severus the all clear, as he was in Ancient Runes after lunch, once again sitting beside Lily.

This time it was Sirius who had gone to prep, and James, Remus and Peter were in the lesson ('can't help but notice I'm the only one who's had a full day of lessons,' James grumbled.'How is that fair? And they've shortened lunch by fifteen minutes!')

Much as Professor Vector had done, Professor Babbling started out the class by outlining the course and explaining to them what the study of Ancient Runes required. 'Dedication, motivation, blood, sweat and tears,' she told them, 'but very little in the way of wand waving. This is the learning of a new language. The study of ancient texts. This class is quite unlike any other you will undertake during your time at Hogwarts. But, by the end of it, you will be proficient in the translation and transcribing of all our oldest magical texts. It will open new doors to you - or should I say old doors - ancient magic, knowledge and understanding, which remains closed off to others, will be revealed to you.'

They then spent the next hour wrestling with Spellman's Syllabary, trying to commit to memory the letters of the runic alphabet.

'I want everyone to have written their name in runes by the end of the lesson,' Professor Babbling said. Remus was glad his own name was relatively short and simple, but over by the window, Octavian Ogden of Ravenclaw groaned out loud.

…

The week wore on. They started work on shrinking solutions in Potions; learned about the theory of memory charms in Charms, continued to investigate the properties of Puffapods in Herbology and were (as always) mired elbow deep in Goblin rebellions in A History of Magic. Remus and Sirius started Muggle Studies - and Sirius made a name for himself as being rather peculiar, when he earnestly told Professor Humdrum that he owned his own toaster.

Despite the fact that Snape was no doubt itching for vengeance (and who could blame him if he was?) the rest of the week passed without incident. The weekend flew by too quickly and, by Monday, Remus was starting to feel all the usual aches and pains that he associated with the fattening moon. It was just two nights away, and he felt like his skin was prickling, his bones were on fire and that he could sleep for a hundred years. But the work did not stop. And, though it was now a week since they had learned the word "Animagus", they were no further along in finding out how to become them.

Between homework, detentions, hexing Snivellus and Remus feeling under the weather (to put it mildly) they had not found time to use the cloak and sneak into the Restricted Section. And, though they had pored over every book on the subject that was on the easily accessible shelves, they had not found anything useful.

The girls were forever in the library too - always whispering and giggling and seeming to do something that was decidedly not homework. James insisted that they ignore them. And - as the days passed by, he found something else to take up his time.

The Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were to be held on Wednesday, and - following on from the disastrous consequences of his debut, the previous term - he had to put in a good show if he wanted to make the team.

'You all have to come and cheer me on,' he told the others. 'I need the moral support.'

'I'll be there, mate, but - Wednesday - it's the full moon. Maybe let Remus take the night off, yeah?'

'No it's fine,' Remus shook his head (though it hurt even to do that). 'Don't fuss, Sirius. I'm not an invalid. I'll be there, James - of course I will.'

Though by the time Wednesday evening rolled around, he rather regretted his promise. Their last lesson of the day was Herbology and achy, sweaty and covered in soil, they traipsed back to Gryffindor Tower so James could get his broom, and then trailed back out to the Quidditch pitch without rest. Remus wondered if anyone would notice if he sneaked a nap in the stands.

Sixth year Chaser, Bethany Elshaw was the Gryffindor Captain this year and, with seeker Jennifer Price standing beside her, she gathered the group of hopefuls around and outlined what they needed.

'We were a tight team last year - but we've lost Henry and Morgana and I need two chasers to replace them. I'm looking for team players - I'm not interested in glory hunting showboaters.' She gave James a rather stern look. He returned it with a wide eyed innocent and offended look of his own. She snorted. 'We still have Johnson in goal and Levey as beater. But Spratt has left. So I need a new beater as well. What we really need is people who can pull together and work as a seamless unit, that's the only way we're going to finally win that cup.'

Up in the stands, Remus began to doze. Sirius tapped his feet and wished he'd brought his toaster with him; only Peter was paying attention and - when the players kicked off, and James rose into the air - he whooped and applauded. Remus snorted in his sleep, 'I'm watching -' he murmured - and then began to snore again. Sirius cast him an amused glance, and then went back to running through all the different parts of a toaster, in his mind.

'Alright - chasers - let's start with passing…' Beth blew her whistle, and all the would-be chasers formed a circle and began to pass the quaffle between them. 'Good good - now - let's keep passing while flying in a circle, clockwise please… Now flying widdershins, I want you to pass to the next but one player - over the head of your neighbour. Neighbours - I want you to try and intercept.'

Harvey Kingston tried to throw it to Alice Law, but James intercepted it effortlessly and threw it to Petra Linehan (down in the stands, Peter cheered and whooped some more - while Remus snored and Sirius wondered what was for tea). The quaffle sailed over Alice's head and Petra caught it and threw it on to Esme Wiggans.

The whistle blew again. 'Now team - we're going to try some plays, I'm going to separate you out into two teams and I want you to show me the Hawkshead Formation…'

Over the other side of the pitch, Jenny, Belvedere Johnson and Max Levey were putting the hopeful beaters through their paces. Meanwhile, James, Harvey and Esme all formed into an arrow shape and flew together at the other chasers in tight formation, forcing them to scatter (and, when Beth wasn't looking, James dive bombed Petra - who screamed and had to swerve out of his way).

'Right - now let's see a Porskoff Ploy…' Beth trailed off - staring downward at the pitch, and then blew her whistle sharply. Everyone stopped and looked. Down in the stands, Peter sat up straight and then elbowed the other two in the ribs.

Ow!'

''M awake…'

'There's a pitch invasion,' he told them. 'Look - Slytherins!'

And sure enough, seven boys in emerald green robes and clutching broomsticks were making their way through the stadium to the centre of the pitch.

The three boys glanced at each other, and then clambered over the barrier and ran across the grass to see what was going on. The Gryffindor players landed around them.

'What's going on?' Beth asked, 'we booked the pitch - why are you here?' She gave Elijah Smeeks, the Slytherin captain, a look of deepest loathing.

He leered at her. 'I'm afraid we've overridden Gryffindor's booking - I have a specially signed note … here,' and he handed across a scrap of parchment.

The Gryffindors all gathered around to read it:

I, Professor H. Slughorn, give the Slytherin team permission to practise this evening on the Quidditch pitch owing to the need to train their new seeker.

'New seeker?' Jenny frowned. 'What happened to your last one?'

'He has been replaced.'

'By who?' James asked.

And from behind the six large figures, emerged a seventh smaller one - smirking triumphantly all over his handsome, haughty face … It was Regulus Black.

'Reg!' Sirius said in surprise. He twitched and - though Remus ached all over - he just managed to reach out and catch hold of Sirius's wrist before he jumped forward and did something stupid. 'Since when have you played Quidditch?'

'Since mother bought me the right equipment,' Regulus said smoothly, and he held out a gleaming broomstick with a shiny wood handle and very precise bristles.

'Mum bought you a broomstick?'

'Just last week.'

'You mother has been very generous indeed, Black,' Smeeks told him. 'She is the new benefactress of our entire team,' and the other six players all held out brand new , top of the range broomsticks, identical to the one Regulus held.

'It's the new Silver Arrow 2.1,' Smeeks told them smugly. 'Only came out last Monday…' he cast a dismissive eye on James' broom. 'It outstrips the old 2.0 model by a considerable margin. Mrs. Black was kind enough to go straight to Quality Quidditch Supplies and buy seven.'

'She - she bought you all a broomstick?... She hasn't bought me one.' There was a definite tremble in Sirius's voice - though he sought to hide it.

Regulus sneered at him. 'Well she puts rather a lot of value on those of us who are not filthy blood traitors. She wouldn't waste the money on a muggle lover that disgraces the family name, like you…'

Several things happened rather fast. James whipped his wand out, and Smeeks had to dive in front of Regulus to stop him from being cursed. Sirius forgot all about wands and made to dive on his brother, and Peter and Remus only just managed to pounce on him and haul him back before he did something that would get him into (even more) trouble, and the whole Gryffindor team broke out swearing at and haranguing the Slytherin team, who swore right back.

'Enough enough,' Smeeks blew on his own whistle and it cut through the melee. 'Now - we need to be getting on with practice. Are you going to leave with dignity? Or do I need to get Professor Slughorn to remove you?'

Grumbling and complaining the whole way, and with many a dirty backwards glance, the Gryffindors left the pitch. 'I'll speak to Professor McGongagall,' Bethany said, her voice shaking with anger. 'Two can play at that game - if Smeeks wants to play silly beggars…'

Remus and Peter kept a firm hold of Sirius as they walked away, lest he change his mind - run back- and start beating the snot out of his younger brother. He seemed to vibrate with rage beneath their hands, his whole body quivering. 'This is what she wrote to him about last week - remember? Remember how smug he was? This is what she wrote.'

'I remember.'

'She must really hate me … to buy six expensive broomsticks for perfect strangers but not one for me - not even a cheap one … she must really hate me … Not that I care. I hate her just as much. More.'

Peter cast Remus a terrified glance. 'She did it to make you angry,' Remus said. 'To get a reaction - don't give her the satisfaction. Not letting her see she is getting to you is the only power you have.'

'She's not getting to me!'

'Well - that's good then,' though he could tell from how stiff Sirius was beneath his fingers that his friend was lying. 'Because she's not worth it - and neither is Regulus. They're against you because you don't stand with their precious Dark Lord - it was silly and spiteful of her to do it - you're better than them.'

'I know I am.'

But he was still wound tighter than a violin's top string, a coiled spring ready to explode and - when they sat down for tea in the Great Hall - he did not bother to eat anything and, instead, just cast dark glances in the direction of the Slytherin table.

Remus checked his watch, the sun would be setting soon and moonrise would be not far behind it. 'I need to leave,' he said regretfully. Both Peter and James looked alarmed at this news. 'I'm sorry, Sirius. I wish I could stay but…'

'It's fine. You need to be safe. Get out of here.' But he didn't look up from where he was stabbing his fork into his mashed potatoes.

'Sirius- '

'Go!'

And, with a rueful glance at the others, Remus hurried, as fast as his aching bones would allow him, out of the Hall.

The three of them remained in oppressive silence for the rest of the meal. Sirius did not eat a single bite - and James watched him worriedly, while trying to pretend that he was not doing so.

They returned to the common room, Sirius still glowering - and snarling at anyone who came too close. He snapped at a first year who bumped into his arm chair - and the first year squealed and ran away.

'Sirius, mate,' James said after a long moment of silence, in which Sirius internally fought with himself over whether or not he was ashamed of frightening the first year - shadows of regret and anger chased each other across his face. 'Do me a favour - go and get the invisibility cloak from my trunk and bring it down.'

'What's going on?' Peter asked, once Sirius had vanished up the stairs to the dorms.

'We're going to distract him, before he can do something mental.' James rubbed his brow and frowned. 'It's proper embarrassing for Regulus, buying his way onto the team like that - getting mummy to bribe the other Slytherins to play with him nicely… but it's still a slap in the face to Sirius. You know how he gets. And I don't know that we can handle him - not without Moony being here. It's Remus he wants when he gets like this - not us… But tonight's a full moon, and we're on our own - and it's up to us to stop him from killing anyone.'

'So what are we going to do?'

…

James' plan was a simple one; he was going to distract Sirius from his bad temper with a bit of safe, well managed rule breaking. 'Tonight's the night,' he told Sirius, when he returned with the cloak, 'we're going into the Restricted Section and looking at those animagus books. We'll know how to help Remus before he's human again.'

Sirius's eyes lit up and - for just a moment - the dark scowl lifted from his face.

'This is perfect,' James had told Peter when they were still alone. 'It gives him something useful to do to take his mind off things, and comes with the risk of him getting into trouble, to satisfy his whole "burn the world down" mood … but not so much trouble that he'll get expelled.'

'That's brilliant!'

James did not say anything to agree, but he was rather pleased with himself for coming up with the idea. He did not think Remus himself could have come up with such a good way of keeping Sirius calm.

Once the common room was quiet, they slipped out of the portrait hole and then covered themselves in the cloak. They were so used to night time walks now that they moved quickly, and managed to second guess where Peeves, Filch and Mrs. Norris would be at this hour, and avoid them entirely.

They arrived at the library in no time and eased their way inside. Once in the Restricted Section, they dropped the cloak, lit a lamp and started pulling out all the books on animagi they could find. They leafed feverishly through the pages until: 'Aha!' James cried, turning round his copy of "The Art of The Animagi, by Bruno Bjornson,". 'It's all right here … blimey, it looks difficult though.'

'It's a good job Remus isn't going to have to do this,' Sirius said, pointing to a passage in the book. 'It says here you have to be at least competent at Potions to achieve an animagus state.'

They all stifled a giggle.

'It's going to be difficult - even for those of us who aren't a walking catastrophe with a cauldron,' James said, scribbling down the instructions from the book. 'Look at all the things we'll need - mandrake leaves, death's head moths, dew which hasn't been touched by the sun…' he whistled. 'I don't know where we'll find it all.'

'And even once we've found it all - we still then have to do the …doing it part.' Peter looked worried. 'Do you think we can?'

Sirius looked up and stared out of the window, where the large, yellow, harvest moon hung in the black sky, winking in at them. He shrugged. 'We have to.'

…

James and Sirius were triumphant the next morning, though Peter was still reticent and nervous. They had copied out everything from the book that they would need to know and taken it back up to the dorm, where they had pored over it for hours - talking about how they could turn all this theory into a reality. They now thought they had some good ideas, and couldn't wait to show it to Remus, when they went to visit him in the Hospital Wing at break time.

But all thoughts of becoming Animagi were driven out of their heads when they arrived in the hall to find gaggles of girls giggling and queuing up near the door, where Lily and her friends were handing something out.

'Why don't the teachers put a stop to this sort of thing?' James tutted impatiently, before elbowing his way to the front of the line to see what Lily was up to.

She was standing beside a large pile of brightly coloured magazines, copies of which she was handing to all the girls surrounding her.

'What's this?' He picked one up.

She snatched it off him. 'It's our teen witch magazine, Potter… for girls . Not for you.'

He ignored her, swiped another copy and bustled off to show his friends. 'This is what they've been getting up to in the library,' he told them, waving it under their noses. '...Just when you think they can't get any more irritating - they start to publish.' He perused the cover - which was a lurid pink and bore the title:

Sabrina13!

The Monthly Mag for the Modern, Magic Miss

'What utter nonsense,' he said - leafing through the pages and snorting at all it had to offer. 'Do they honestly not have anything better to do?'

'Like what - become illegal animagi?' Sirius asked.

'Merlin, no - the last thing we want is them hanging around our part of the Restricted Section …but if they could just stay quiet and out of everybody's way, I think the whole school would be a lot happier…'

But, for all his words, he did not stop reading the magazine, and all around the Hall girls (and a fair few boys) likewise had their noses buried in the pages, or were avidly discussing what they had just read with their neighbours, and there was a very definite whisper going around that Hellraiser Evans and her friends had just pulled another blinder.

…

Remus's night had been a lot less productive than his friends', but it had been a whole lot more painful. He had returned to the Hospital Wing at sunrise, with Madam Pomfrey, and been given his normal healing tinctures and sleeping draughts to help him heal. It had not been his worst night ever (he knew that, as winter drew in and the nights grew longer, the full moons would get a lot harder than this one had been) but he was still tired and out of sorts.

He woke up mid morning, still twinging and aching in places, and sat forlornly in his bed - staring out of the window. Eventually, Madam Pomfrey took pity on him and gave him the paper to read and, while this proved a distraction, it did not prove to be a happy one.

There was an opinion piece in there by someone called Cygnus Black (Remus assumed he must be Sirius's uncle or second cousin or something) and he was railing against the infiltration of muggleborns at the Ministry and how their pro muggle-rights agenda was corrupting everything the magical community held dear.

They are not of our blood,

Cygnus wrote.

They are not of our world. And yet these interlopers to magical Britain are given unfettered access to our Halls of Power. We have no less than three muggleborn Heads of Department, we have seventeen muggleborns with seats on the Wizengamot and we have recently even had a muggleborn Minister for Magic.

The damage that Minister Nobby Leach did to our traditions and our laws goes deep; rewriting ancient legislation to give those like him a foot on the ladder, and to give rights to those unworthy to hold them, and incapable of handling the responsibilities that come with those rights.

It is thanks to his ill thought through reign of "progress" that there is no limit to the number of muggleborns that may hold high ranking office within the Ministry, that there are no longer seats reserved on the Wizengamot for the Ancient 28, and that purebloods no longer hold a majority within that noble institution.

Currently - as it stands - halfbloods hold the most seats, but the balance of power is decidedly with those seventeen aforementioned magical immigrants, those trespassers in our ancient parliament. And - just as Minister Leach raised them beyond their station - so too do they seek to continue this "progress". And rest assured, as more muggleborns infiltrate our government, those of us with older blood will find it harder to gain and hold high ranking positions, to gain promotions, to make our own mark on our own world. These muggleborns seek to block us - and future generations of magical blood - from proper advancement and proper influence.

Theirs is a pernicious ideology - a malign principle which seeks to overthrow everything we hold dear and corrupt our own lofty ideals; a disease which destroys our magical body politic and aims to subvert our way of life. They will not be content, they will not rest until they have torn down the traditions and statutes which have ruled our world for centuries, and built their own, baser ones in their place. They will not be content, they will not rest, until they have the society they have always secretly desired - a society in the thrall of mindless "progress", where the muggleborn can always rise to the top, an inverted pyramid with the pure at the very bottom- scorned and abused by those who invaded our magical community and made it their own. They will not be content, they will not rest, until the whole wizarding world is run in their own - muggle - image.

Well I say enough. I say it is is we who will not be content, will not rest until we have thrown back those who do not belong; will not be content, will not rest until we have secured what is rightfully ours and will not be content, will not rest until is our ideals and credo which inform our laws and our traditions.

In short, we will not be content, will not rest until this corruption at the heart of power is rooted out - and purity is restored to our government. There is a better world out there, a better future for your children - but we can only achieve it if we stand united against the malfeasance of the Ministry muggleborns. We ignore their perversion of our ways at our peril. We are at crossroads in history, and - rest assured - any failure to act is actively embracing failure.

Remus's nose crinkled in disgust as he read, and he felt more than a little bit sick. He was vaguely aware of the bell ringing for break and it was just as he finished the last sentence that the door to the Hospital Wing was thrown open, and his friends came bounding inside. He hastily stashed the paper down the side of the bed, so Sirius would not see what his family were up to.

'You'll never believe what's happened,' James proclaimed loudly, brandishing what looked like a glossy magazine in the air.

'We found out how to become animagi!' Sirius told Remus, though he kept his voice low so Madam Pomfrey wouldn't overhear.

James looked confused for a moment, 'oh - yes - we did that too. But look!' and he thrust the magazine into Remus's hands. 'I honestly don't think FlatuLily Evans can get more irritating. Though I've thought that for a long time and yet she always manages to do it.'

Remus's brow had furrowed in confusion, and he stared down at the magazine in his hands. 'What's Lily got to do with this?'

'It's her magazine! She wrote it - her and her friends - and they seem to think they're writing one every month! Oh just read it, Remus - see how annoying she is.'

Suppressing a smile, Remus began to leaf through the pages. 'Is it really that bad?'

James threw his hands up in disgust. 'It's worse! I've read every word and I can't stand to read another sentence more.'

'No one forced you to read it, mate,' Sirius pointed out. 'How was last night?' he asked.

'As awful as ever - what do you mean you found out how to become…' he lowered his voice, 'animagi?'

So Sirius and Peter filled him in on everything they had got up to last night, while James (who had wrestled the magazine from Remus once more) flicked through it and snorted in derision. They all ignored him.

The bell for next lesson went, and the boys trooped back out again. 'See you later,' Sirius whispered.

'Here - you can read this,' James tossed the magazine back on the bed, 'though it'll probably make you want to tear your own eyes out.'

The door slammed shut, and quiet reigned in the infirmary once again. Remus picked up the copy of Sabrina13 and proceeded to while away a pleasant enough afternoon reading articles on how the robes at Gladrags WizardWear in Hogsmeade could pass for being Hagmade in the right light, and how the Quidditch league was hotting up this season, and - much to his bemusement - about mastering the male mind, and in particular the reverse psychology boys used when they liked someone. Near the back there was a problem page - where angsty teen witches had written in to ask for help:

Dear Dianella,

I've had to start second year without my own racing broom …

Dear Dianella,

My skin is really bad - I have spots all over and I don't know what to do.

Dear Dianella,

My parents won't let me listen to The Kneazles at home …

And were then treated to Dianella's (whoever she was) sage advice on how to fix what ailed them. He was so engrossed in the whole thing that it came as a surprise when Madam Pomfrey told him he was ready to leave. He looked up - and saw the sun had set without him even noticing. 'You look more cheerful than normal,' Madam Pomfrey told him. 'That little magazine seems to have done you the world of good.'

'It's just a daft thing - for girls.'

'And yet it's kept you absorbed for hours. Off you go then - see you next month.'

He arrived at the Gryffindor common room feeling much healthier, and clutching both The Daily Prophet and Sabrina13 in his hand.

As he clambered through the portrait hole, he was pounced on by a very over-excited James. 'I made the team!' he announced, jumping around. 'I made the team! Look!' and Remus was dragged over to the noticeboard where the new Quidditch team was posted. 'I knew I would but - still - it's nice to have my brilliance recognised by someone other than me.'

Remus chuckled. 'I don't know how you get the broomstick off the ground with that enormously swollen head of yours!'

James cuffed him round the ear. 'Petra made the team too,' he said - sounding rather glum about this. 'I'll have to see her every practice - speak to her… This better not lead to me having to talk to FlatuLily. Honestly, did you read that rag they wrote? Have you ever been so annoyed in your life?'

'I dunno…' he thought of what else he had read that afternoon. 'I'd rather read what the girls have to say, than the ugly stuff they keep on writing in the paper.'