AN: This is my holiday surprise and present to everybody. A bonus chapter published this week, so for those of you just tuning in for this chapter, know that I did do my normal post yesterday, so read that one first. Hopefully you all enjoy my gift to you!
LadyKitai - Thanks! Hopefully you enjoy a chapter a week early.
Quill will 1981 - Oof, I've disappointed you my avid reviewer. For that, I apologize dearly for my egregious error. Sirius, of course, did recognize Harry, but like canonically, he did not reveal himself, and Harry simply thought he was meeting another grim and did what he should, which was pet the dog. You are very good at guessing how the scolding would have gone, and hopefuly you'll enjoy some of my future interactions with them. Also, sorry I didn't have Harry mess with Mrs. Norris. I probably should have, but I didn't think of it. Shame on me.
Arctic Wolf Fury - I'm not sure they're my style either, but it is at least something to consider. Might be a fun experiment. Astra is of course the goodest of girls and deserves all the pressies they can give. While I can admit getting Astra robes and a cap would be adorable, I suspect the fearsome servant of Hades would hate wearing them, even if she would be absolutely adorable in them. Could be a fun interactiont o write though. Thanks for the idea.
Alexandramay - Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying the mythology part of my story, and yes, I can't stand Harry taking divination, since it seems so useless and is really only useful in canon to help bring prophecies into play . . . and well, I don't particularly care for prophecies, as I'll delve into later. I'm glad you approve of Harry's new patronus. Astra is his familiar and his patronus should reflect that. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.
Jet22345 - The wait is over . . . at least until you finish this and then you have to wait the rest of the week again. Hopefully it's still worth it. Thanks for the support!
scrappy8 - Thanks! Yep, Sirius couldn't help but meet Harry, and Harry just assumed it was a grim.
Mewpagano - Thanks!
Chapter 20
It was the middle of the last week of term when things finally came to a head. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been hanging around out in the grounds, intermittently playing fetch with Astra when they decided to visit Hagrid late in the afternoon. They probably should have been heading back already, but with exams over, and nothing on their schedules, visiting Hagrid seemed like the thing to do.
They reached Hagrid's cabin and knocked. He was a minute in answering, and he frowned, staring at the three of them.
"It's nice ter see yeh three, but yeh shouldn't be out here, least of all you, Harry," Hagrid said reproachfully, even if there was a slight smile on his face.
"I've got Astra here," Harry said, gesturing to the adolescent grim who wagged her tail. "Besides, I'm safer in the dark than I am in the light, so if we're out here too late, then we're actually safer."
Hagrid had smiled at Astra, but then frowned at Harry's words. "Astra's all fine and good, but she's jus' one creature, and there's no need ter get overconfident. Black's a madman, Harry, and yeh shouldn' underestimate him."
Harry nodded wearily, rather tired of this conversation which was always the same with whomever he had it with.
"Still, it's a good thing the three o' yeh came to visit," Hagrid said with a broad smile. "I have somethin' for you, Ron. Found him in my milk jug."
Hagrid moved over to where he had a small cage, removed something from it and came back holding a very familiar rat.
"SCABBERS!" Ron exclaimed in shock, grabbing the struggling rat from Hagrid. "Scabbers, what are you doing here?"
Scabbers looked dreadful. He was thinner than ever, large tufts of hair had fallen out leaving wide bald patches, and he writhed in Ron's hands as though desperate to free himself
"It's okay, Scabbers!" said Ron. "No cats! There's nothing here to hurt you!"
"Listen, let's put em back in this cage," Hagrid said. "He's seemed mighty anxious the whole time I 'ad him. He can't get out of the cage. It's got a charm on it, which helps me keep the smaller creatures that need some carin'."
Ron nodded and happily put Scabbers back into the cage Hagrid had been keeping him in, where the rat continued to panic and screech.
"I think you owe somebody an apology," Hermione said hotly, and Harry sighed, and stepped in between them.
"Can we not do this," Harry said, heading off Ron's heated response. "Ron, you do owe Hermione an apology for how you reacted, since it's now apparent that Scabbers wasn't eaten and you've treated her wrongly and treated her pet wrongly. Hermione, you owe Ron an apology because you never really did take his claims seriously, and admittedly Crookshanks did have an unusual interest in Scabbers. Now, if you both could just apologize and move on, it would do wonders for my sanity."
Ron and Hermione stared at him in surprise, while Hagrid chortled, before they both blushed slightly and then apologized to each other and then each slapped Harry on the back of his head, which Harry thought was a fair trade off all things considering.
Conversation was pleasant, and while Hagrid's cooking was not always the safest, they ended up staying for dinner, enjoying the company and freedom that came from knowing there weren't any pressing deadlines or exams ahead. It wasn't long before the sun was setting and Hagrid finally noticed how late it was getting.
"You three really need to be goin'," Hagrid said a bit worriedly. "It's not safe out here, and I'm not worth the trouble yer going to get in."
"Don't worry, Hagrid," Harry said. "We won't get caught."
"If yer sure," Hagrid said, looking unsure. "Ron, you can keep that cage until you can get Scabbers back into his own."
"Thanks, Hagrid," Ron said gratefully, since the rat still seemed to be going crazy.
Ron grabbed a struggling Scabbers and they bade Hagrid farewell as they made their way out onto the darkening grounds, moving quickly towards the castle.
"When we get close, I'll conceal our presence," Harry said, and Hermione looked at him curiously, knowing he was talking about his elemental magic, but unsure how he would do it. "We might have to silence Scabbers though."
"I don't know what he's freaking out about," Ron said, looking at the rat with worry.
"Maybe we should just petrify him," Harry mused.
"That's probably for the best," Hermione agreed, hearing Scabbers squeak.
"That's a good idea, mate," Ron agreed.
Harry drew his wand, when Astra started growling. Harry turned to see his familiar jumping right in front of him in a defensive posture as the larger black grim or dog that Harry had seen a while back bounded towards them.
However, Astra's protective move proved fruitless as the black dog didn't go for Harry, but instead jumped and smashed into Ron, causing Harry's mate to drop the cage. Astra bounded forward, snarling, but the black dog quickly grabbed the cage and took off, fleeing from the angry grim.
"Harry, we can't let that thing eat Scabbers!" Ron said in worry, a wince etched on his face from the large bruise he probably had on his chest, not including the possibly broken ribs.
"Why did it take Scabbers cage though?" Harry wondered before he shook his head. "We'll get Scabbers back, mate. Let's go."
"Harry, shouldn't we get someone?" Hermione asked with worry.
"We might not have time," Harry said, as he and Ron started running after the black dog which was heading for the Whomping Willow.
Astra bounded ahead of them, and then disappeared before their eyes, appearing in front of the other black dog, who tried to evade the adolescent grim, but failed as Astra slammed into the dog, forcing it to drop Scabbers cage.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione rushed forward as the two black animals thrashed about with each other, clawing, and biting at each other. The black dog/grim was bigger and seemed to have a weight advantage, but Astra was more savage and faster.
It didn't matter that Astra seemed to have the upper hand, Harry wasn't going to stand by and not help his familiar. Harry's aid wasn't needed though, nor was he able to assist as suddenly the black dog through Astra off of him and then he lunged at Ron again, but mid lunge, he transformed, and Harry, Hermione, and Ron could all only stare in disbelief as Ron was pounced on by Sirius Black.
Harry and Hermione both pointed their wands at Black, who was on top of Ron, but Black was faster, and with a flick of his wand, Harry and Hermione were both disarmed.
Harry could only feel shock and self-disdain at having been so easily disarmed, after all the work he'd put in with Mad-Eye, and with his confidence in his abilities. However, he was right about one thing. Astra would protect him.
Black tried to fire a spell at Astra, but she flickered in the darkness, the spell going through where she had been before she reappeared and slammed into Black, knocking him back, and removing Ron's wand from Black's hand.
Harry lunged for his wand, grabbing it as Astra retrieved Ron's wand, and moved away, before dropping it, and looking ready to attack again. Black stared at Harry's wand leveled at him, and then glanced at the snarling Astra, his thin chest rising and falling rapidly.
"Going to kill me, Harry?" he whispered.
Harry moved closer, his wand pointing straight at Black's chest. Black's body was scratched from his fight with Astra, and he looked the worse for wear, which was saying something with his already weakened body.
"You killed my parents," said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady.
Black stared up at him out of those sunken eyes.
"I don't deny it," he said very quietly. "But if you knew the whole story."
"The whole story?" Harry repeated, a furious pounding in his ears. "You sold them to Voldemort. That's all I need to know."
"You've got to listen to me," Black said, and there was a note of urgency in his voice now. "You'll regret it if you don't. . . You don't understand . . ."
"I understand a lot better than you think," said Harry, and his voice shook more than ever. "You never heard her, did you? My mum. . . trying to stop Voldemort killing me. . . and you did that. . . you did it. . . . "
"I didn't attack you when I met you a few weeks ago!" Black pleaded.
Harry froze at that because Black was right.
"You met him a few weeks ago?" Hermione asked, breathlessly.
"He was in his animagus form," Harry said. "I thought he was a grim, like Astra."
"You never mentioned seeing another grim!" Hermione said shrilly. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Harry shrugged. "I didn't think much of it," he admitted. "First, I didn't want to give the divination people food for their whole stupid seeing a grim means death thing. Second, grims are social animals. Generally, if Astra wasn't with me, she'd have a pack to be with. It's why she's so social around Hogwarts, and especially with those close to me. Essentially we're her pack, but I'm sure she still loves seeing others of her kind. I honestly just figured that Astra having marked Hogwarts as her territory signaled to other grims that it's a safe place for them. He didn't attack. He just let me pet him before he moved on."
"Oh," Hermione said, surprised by his logical reasoning. "I guess that makes sense."
"I should have at least looked into it," Harry said grimly, staring down at Black. "Mad-Eye would be disappointed. So, why didn't you do it then? Why didn't you kill me then?"
"I'm not here to kill you," Black said quietly. "I'd never kill you!"
Astra stopped growling, and Harry glanced at her, feeling her confusion. It wasn't possible to outright lie to a hellhound, which meant Black was telling the truth, but then, why was he here?
"Why then?" Harry demanded. "Why are you here, if it's not to kill me? What, you just wanted to make life miserable for the last Potter, after you robbed me of my parents?"
"I'm sorry, Harry," Black said brokenly. "I don't want to cause you any more harm. I'm here to protect you and right my wrong."
Harry's eyes widened in disbelief, a feeling which was only compounded by feeling the truthness of the man's words through his familiar. Black truly believed he was here to protect Harry . . . but what did that mean?
A nudge from Astra caused Harry to glance towards the castle, seeing a man running towards them, not too far away. With everything going on, they hadn't been paying attention to their surroundings, and Remus Lupin was almost to them. If Harry wanted to kill Black, he had to do it now . . . but he couldn't anymore. Not with so much confusion.
Black's eyes widened in surprise at their approaching savior, and soon Harry's window was over as Lupin reached them, his face bloodless, his wand ready. He glanced at Black, crumpled and bleeding at Harry's feet, and then at Ron and Hermione, wandless and cowering, at Astra, growling and ready to pounce, and then lastly at Harry, his wand firmly pointed at Black's heart.
"Expelliarmus!" Lupin shouted.
Harry's wand flew once more out of his hand and Lupin caught it deftly before he stared at Black with a look of pure determination, while Harry felt unsure with his decision. Black would go back to the dementors . . . but did he deserve that?
Then Lupin spoke, in a very tense voice.
"Where is he, Sirius?"
Harry looked quickly at Lupin. He didn't understand what Lupin meant. Who was Lupin talking about? He turned to look at Black again.
Black's face was quite expressionless. For a few seconds, he didn't move at all. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand and pointed straight at Scabbers, still squeaking in panic in Hagrid's cage, bewildering the three teenagers.
"But then. . . " Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind. ". . . why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless" - Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Black, something none of the rest could see, "- unless he was the one . . . unless you switched . . . without telling me?"
Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin's face, Black nodded.
"Professor," Harry said, eyes narrowing. "What am I missing?"
Instead of answering, Lupin lowered his wand, moved forward, seized Black's hand and pulled him to his feet and embraced him like a brother.
Astra started growling, while Harry felt a stake go through his heart at the betrayal. That feeling of betrayal soon gave way to anger.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed.
Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She had finally stopped cowering from where she and Ron were behind Harry, and was pointing at Lupin wild-eyed. "You - you -"
"Hermione -"
"You and him!"
"Hermione, calm down -"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you -"
"Hermione, listen to me, please" Lupin shouted. "I can explain -"
Harry could feel himself shaking, not with fear, but with a fresh wave of fury. It didn't matter that he had doubts about Black. What mattered is that things were still uncertain, and now that included a man he'd trusted, respected, and liked for a whole year.
"I trusted you! I never brought up your secret!" he shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering, out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!"
"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now - Let me explain . . ."
"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too - he's a werewolf!"
"I know," Harry responded, glaring at Lupin in the ringing silence, everyone's eyes on Lupin, who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale.
"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione," he said. "Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead. An odd shiver passed over his face. "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf. How long have you known?"
"Ages," Hermione whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay. . . "
"He'll be delighted," said Lupin coolly. "He assigned that essay hoping someone would realize what my symptoms meant . . . Did you check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realize that the Boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?"
"Both," Hermione said quietly.
Lupin forced a laugh.
"You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione."
"I'm not," Hermione whispered. "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!"
"But they already know," said Lupin. "At least, the staff do. "
"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf," Ron gasped. "Is he mad?"
"Some of the staff thought so," said Lupin. "He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy – what about you, Harry?"
"Since Christmas," Harry responded coldly. "I put the pieces together between Snape's assignment, Mad-Eye's assignment for me to study creatures of the night, and how Mad-Eye reacted after I mentioned Snape assigning the werewolf assignment while subbing for you."
Siris gave a look of shock at Mad-Eye being named.
"Your Shadow Mage studies," Lupin said quietly, and nodded approvingly, further confusing Black. "I'm sure Mad-Eye would be delighted and approving of your observation and deductive skills, and would be glad that you're taking your studies seriously. Now, I have not been helping Sirius, and you'll give me a chance, I'll explain."
Harry glanced at Astra who's head tilted curiously and she sat down. Harry's jaw dropped slightly, but if Astra wanted him to give them a chance, he would.
"Here," Lupin said, and he tossed Harry's wand back to him, further confusing Harry. "Now, you're armed just like I am. Will you please listen?"
Harry gripped his wand, but finally nodded and backed up slightly, putting some distance between himself and the two men, lest they try something.
"How did you know we were out here?" Harry asked first, wanting to figure out how Lupin knew to come to their aid . . . or to come to Black's.
"The map," said Lupin. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it -"
"You know how to work it?" Harry said suspiciously.
"Of course I know how to work it," said Lupin, waving his hand impatiently. "I helped write it. I'm Moony - that was my friends' nickname for me at school. "
"You wrote -?"
"The important this is, I've been watching it carefully, watching you specifically to make sure you were safe from Sirius here. The map was the perfect tool from which to watch out for your safety while giving you space, and I knew Sirius couldn't hide from the map, even if he is also a co-creator of the map."
Lupin started to pace.
"Tonight though, there was something different when I saw you visiting Hagrid's. When you left, you were accompanied by somebody else, a name I hadn't seen hidden among all of the names in Hagrid's hut."
"What?" said Harry. "No, we weren't!"
"I couldn't believe my eyes," said Lupin, still pacing, and ignoring Harry's interruption. "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?"
Harry glanced at Astra, who hadn't reacted, which further confused Harry. He was certain nobody else had been with them, and certainly Astra hadn't noticed anyone, but yet Lupin was supposedly telling the truth . . . or he was saying what he believed was the truth.
"And then I saw Sirius's dot, so I quickly set out to come try and intervene, keeping my eye on what was going on," Lupin said, pulling the map out of his pocket. "I saw Sirius and you guys fight before he tried to run off with one of you."
"No, he ran off with -" Harry paused, looking at the Scabbers, his mind racing.
"I gave up on watching the map, once I saw you guys fighting Sirius again, figuring I had to get to you as soon as I could. I hadn't counted on Astra or yourself overpowering Sirius. Your parents really would be proud, as would Mad-Eye and Tonks."
"What are you bloody talking about?!" Ron demanded. "That nutter didn't take off with anybody except my rat."
"Exactly," Lupin said evenly. "Do you mind if I have a look at the rat?"
"What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"
"Everything," said Lupin. "Could I see him, please?"
"You won't hurt him?" Harry asked.
"You have my word that I won't do anything until we've explained."
Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione, and Ron finally nodded nervously, so Harry nodded at Lupin, his wand still ready. Lupin moved over to the cage, and leaned down, looking at it intently.
"What?" Ron said again, looking scared. "What's my rat got to do with anything?"
"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius Black suddenly.
"What d'you mean - of course he's a rat -"
"No, he's not," said Lupin quietly. "He's a wizard. "
"An Animagus," said Black, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew. "
It took a few seconds for the absurdity of this statement to sink in. Then Ron voiced what Harry was thinking.
"You're both mental."
"Ridiculous!" said Hermione faintly.
"Peter Pettigrew's dead!" said Harry. "He killed him twelve years ago!" He pointed at Black, whose face twitched convulsively.
"I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Peter got the better of me. . . not this time, though!"
Black lunged at the cage, but before Black could get close, Astra bounded forward and smashed Black back down to the ground again, and started growling viciously. Black stared at her with a hint of apprehension, the first one Harry had seen on his face, and Harry couldn't help but feel vindicated by it.
"Sirius," Lupin said, moving in front of Black, to stop him from trying that again. "You can't do it just like that - they need to understand - we've got to explain!"
"We can explain afterwards!" snarled Black, standing back up.
"They've got a right to know everything!" Lupin responded firmly. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand, and Harry - you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"
Black stopped looking ready to jump forward, regardless of Astra, though his hollowed eyes were still fixed on Scabbers in the cage.
"All right, then," Black said, without taking his eyes off the rat. "Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for. . ."
"You're nutters, both of you," said Ron shakily, looking round at Harry and Hermione for support. "I've had enough of this. I'm off."
Before he could move towards Scabbers cage though, Lupin raised his wand, pointing it at Scabbers. Harry leveled his wand on Lupin as Astra growled, but Lupin ignored them both.
"You're going to hear me out, Ron," he said quietly. "We need to make sure Peter doesn't get out of that cage."
"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled, but Harry put a hand on his mate's arm, causing Ron to look at him with fear, exhaustion, and anger. Then, ignoring Black, Harry turned to Lupin.
"There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die," he said. "A whole street full of them. . . "
"They didn't see what they thought they saw!" said Black savagely, still watching Scabbers squeaking in the cage.
"Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter," said Lupin, nodding. "I believed it myself - until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's map never lies. . . Peter's alive. He's in that cage, Harry."
Harry looked down at Ron, and as their eyes met, they agreed, silently: Black and Lupin were both out of their minds. Their story made no sense whatsoever. How could Scabbers be Peter Pettigrew? Azkaban must have unhinged Black after all - but why was Lupin playing along with him?
Harry glanced at Astra, and felt the same assurance from his familiar though. They were telling the truth . . . or at least what they thought was the truth. Truth was subjective. If they were insane, they could be telling what they perceived as the truth even if it wasn't.
Then Hermione spoke, in a trembling, would-be calm sort of voice, as though trying to will Professor Lupin to talk sensibly.
"But Professor Lupin. . . Scabbers can't be Pettigrew. . . it just can't be true, you know it can't. . . "
"Why can't it be true?" Lupin said calmly, as though they were in class, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with Grindylows.
"Because. . . because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework - the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things. . . and I went and looked Professor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been only seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list. "
Harry had barely had time to marvel inwardly at the effort Hermione put into her homework, when Lupin started to laugh.
"Right again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that there used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts. "
"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus," said Black, who was still watching Scabbers's every desperate move. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer. "
"All right. . . but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Lupin, "I only know how it began. You see, this all starts with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitter . . . and if I hadn't been so foolhardy."
He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione said, "Shh!" She was watching Lupin very intently.
"I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but just as it is today, there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week, preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform. . . I'm able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again."
"Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me."
"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school."
Lupin sighed, and looked directly at Harry.
"I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. There's a tunnel underneath it that leads to the Shrieking Shack, and that was where I was smuggled once a month for my transformation. The tree would stop anyone from coming across me while I was dangerous, and Dumbledore encouraged the rumors of dangerous spirits to keep the villagers away from the house."
Harry couldn't see where this story was going, but he was listening raptly all the same. The only sound apart from Lupin's voice was Scabbers's frightened squeaking.
"My transformations in those days were - were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead, but apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends . . . three great friends. Sirius Black . . . Peter Pettigrew . . . and, of course, your father, Harry - James Potter. "
"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her. . . I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, Harry, worked out the truth. . . ."
"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi. "
"My dad too?" said Harry, astounded.
"Yes, indeed," said Lupin. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong - one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will. "
"But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled.
"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," said Lupin. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak, which I assume you have, Harry. They transformed. . . Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them. "
"Hurry up, Remus," snarled Black, who was still watching Scabbers with a horrible sort of hunger on his face.
"I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there. . . well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did. . . And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs. "
"What sort of animal -?" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off.
"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"
"A thought that still haunts me," said Lupin heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless - carried away with our own cleverness. "
"I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course. . . he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed. . . "
Lupin's face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice. "All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me. . . and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it . . . so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along. "
"Snape?" said Black harshly, taking his eyes off Scabbers; for the first time in minutes and looking up at Lupin. "What's Snape got to do with it?"
"He's here, Sirius," said Lupin heavily. "He's teaching here as well. " He looked up at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
"Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons. . . you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me -"
Black made a derisive noise.
"It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to. . . hoping he could get us expelled. . . . "
"Severus was very interested in where I went every month. " Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we - er - didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field. . . anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it - if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf - but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life. . . Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was. . . . "
"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"
"Among other reasons," Lupin said. "Like I said . . . we - er - didn't like each other, and he didn't like James or Sirius here either."
"That doesn't tell me what's going on," Harry said. "It answers some history questions I had, but nothing about why I shouldn't curse you both right here and now."
"Then it's time we offered you some proof," said Lupin. "If you'll just let me get Peter out of the cage."
Ron whimpered.
"Come off it," he said weakly. "Are you trying to say he broke out of Azkaban just to get his hands on Scabbers? I mean. . . " He looked at Harry and Hermione for support, "Okay, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat - there are millions of rats - how's he supposed to know which one he is after if he was locked up in Azkaban?"
"You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," said Lupin, turning to Black and frowning slightly. "How did you find out where he was?"
Black put one of his claw-like hands inside his robes and took out a crumpled piece of paper, which he smoothed flat and held out to show the others.
It was the photograph of Ron and his family that had appeared in the Daily Prophet the previous summer, and there, on Ron's shoulder, was Scabbers.
"How did you get this?" Lupin asked Black, thunderstruck.
"Fudge," said Black. "When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page on this boy's shoulder. . . I knew him at once. . . how many times had I seen him transform? And the caption said the boy would be going back to Hogwarts. . . to where Harry was. . . "
"My God," said Lupin softly, staring from Scabbers to the picture in the paper and back again. "His front paw. . . "
"What about it?" said Ron defiantly.
"He's got a toe missing," said Black.
"Of course," Lupin breathed. "So simple . . . so brilliant . . . he cut it off himself?"
"Just before he transformed," said Black. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself – and sped down into the sewer with the other rats. . . . "
"Didn't you ever hear, Ron?" said Lupin. "The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger. "
"Look, Scabbers probably had a fight with another rat or something! He's been in my family for ages, right -"
"Twelve years, in fact," said Lupin. "Didn't you ever wonder why he was living so long?"
"We - we've been taking good care of him!" said Ron.
"Not looking too good at the moment, though, is he?" said Lupin. "I'd guess he's been losing weight ever since he heard Sirius was on the loose again. . . . "
"He's been scared of Hermione's mad cat!" exclaimed Ron.
But that wasn't right, Harry thought suddenly . . . Scabbers had been looking ill before he met Crookshanks . . . ever since Ron's return from Egypt . . . since he likely would have learned that Black had escaped . . .
Harry frowned, thinking it through. Why would Black say that he'd killed Harry's parents when he was now claiming that Pettigrew was the traitor? Were they both traitors?
"But you were their Secret Keeper," Harry said pointedly, anger rising up thinking about that. "You said you killed my parents!"
"Harry," said Lupin hurriedly, "don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down - but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father - Sirius tracked Peter down -"
"Harry . . . I as good as killed them," Black croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me . . . I'm to blame, I know it . . . The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies . . . I realized what Peter must've done . . . what I'd done . . . . "
His voice broke. He turned away. Harry glanced at Astra, and once again, his familiar's inner lie detector wasn't going off.
"Enough of this," said Lupin, and there was a steely note in his voice Harry had never heard before. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. May I open the cage?"
"What are you going to do to Scabbers?" Ron asked Lupin tensely.
"Force him to show himself," said Lupin. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him. "
Ron hesitated. Then at long last, he nodded. Lupin moved to the cage and opened it up. Scabbers tried to bolt for it, but Lupin seized Scabbers by the scruff of his neck, and the rat began squeaking even louder, twisting and turning, his tiny black eyes bulging in his head.
"Ready, Sirius?" said Lupin.
Black had already retrieved Hermione's wand from the ground where it landed after he disarmed her. He approached Lupin and the struggling rat, and his wet eyes suddenly seemed to be burning in his face.
"Together?" he said quietly.
"I think so", said Lupin, holding Scabbers tightly in one hand and his wand in the other. "On the count of three. One - two - THREE!"
A flash of blue-white light erupted from both wands; for a moment, Scabbers was frozen in midair, his small gray form twisting madly - Ron yelled - the rat fell and hit the grass. There was another blinding flash of light and then –
It was like watching a speeded-up film of a growing tree. A head was shooting upward from the ground; limbs were sprouting; a moment later, a man was standing where Scabbers had been, cringing and wringing his hands.
He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry and Hermione. His thin, colorless hair was unkempt and there was a large bald patch on top. He had the shrunken appearance of a plump man who has lost a lot of weight in a short time. His skin looked grubby, almost like Scabbers's fur, and something of the rat lingered around his pointed nose and his very small, watery eyes. He looked around at them all, his breathing fast and shallow. Harry saw his eyes dart towards the forest in the distance and then back again.
"Well, hello, Peter," said Lupin pleasantly, as though rats frequently erupted into old school friends around him. "Long time, no see."
"S-Sirius . . . R-Remus . . . " Even Pettigrew's voice was squeaky. Again, his eyes darted towards the forest. "My friends . . . my old friends . . . "
Black's wand arm rose, but Lupin seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, then turned again to Pettigrew, his voice light and casual.
"We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died. You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there in the cage -"
"Remus," gasped Pettigrew, and Harry could see beads of sweat breaking out over his pasty face, "you don't believe him, do you . . . ? He tried to kill me, Remus . . ."
"So we've heard," said Lupin, more coldly. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'll be so -"
"He's come to try and kill me again!" Pettigrew squeaked suddenly, pointing at Black, and Harry saw that he used his middle finger, because his index was missing. "He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too. . . You've got to help me, Remus. . . . "
Astra started growling, and Harry glanced at her, almost fearing that sound, knowing what it meant. Black's face looked more skull-like than ever as he stared at Pettigrew with his fathomless eyes.
"No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out," said Lupin.
"Sorted things out?" squealed Pettigrew, looking wildly about him once more, eyes taking in the boarded windows and, again, the only door. "I knew he'd come after me! I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"
"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" said Lupin, his brow furrowed. "When nobody has ever done it before?"
"He's got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!" Pettigrew shouted shrilly. "How else did he get out of there? I suppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named taught him a few tricks!"
Harry narrowed his eyes at that and Astra's growl deepened. What sort of powers would take thirteen years to use? Why didn't dark wizards escape Azkaban all the time if dark magic and power was enough to do it? Everyone said, nobody had ever escaped Azkaban, and Mad-Eye had mentioned to Harry how the worst offenders and dark witches and wizards were in Azkaban. It was meant to hold them.
Black started to laugh, a horrible, mirthless laugh that filled the whole room.
"Voldemort, teach me tricks?" he said, and Harry's eyes widened. Not many were willing to say Voldemort's name, and he had learned from Mad-Eye that Voldemort's supporters certainly didn't say the name.
Pettigrew flinched as though Black had brandished a whip at him.
"What, scared to hear your old master's name?" said Black. "I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"
"Don't know what you mean, Sirius -" muttered Pettigrew, his breathing faster than ever. His whole face was shining with sweat now.
"You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years," said Black. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter. . . They all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them . . . I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them. Voldemort went to the Potters' on your information . . . and Voldemort met his downfall there. And not all Voldemort's supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? There are still plenty out here, biding their time, pretending they've seen the error of their ways. If they ever got wind that you were still alive, Peter -"
"Don't know . . . what you're talking about . . . " said Pettigrew again, more shrill than ever. He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked up at Lupin. "You don't believe this - this madness, Remus -"
"I must admit, Peter, I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat," said Lupin evenly.
"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Pettigrew. "If Voldemort's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban - the spy, Sirius Black!"
Black's face contorted.
"How dare you," he growled, sounding suddenly like the bear sized dog he had been. "I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter - I'll never understand why I didn't see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who'd look after you, didn't you? It used to be us . . . me and Remus . . . and James . . . and then Lily."
Pettigrew wiped his face again; he was almost panting for breath.
"Me, a spy . . . must be out of your mind . . . never . . . don't know how you can say such a -"
"Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it," Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backward. "I thought it was the perfect plan . . . a bluff . . . Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you . . . It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters."
Pettigrew was muttering distractedly; Harry caught words like "far-fetched" and "lunacy," but he couldn't help paying more attention to the ashen color of Pettigrew's face and the way his eyes continued to dart toward the forest.
"Professor Lupin?" said Hermione timidly. "Can - can I say something?"
"Certainly, Hermione," said Lupin courteously.
"Well - Scabbers - I mean, this - this man - he's been sleeping in Harry's dormitory for three years. If he's working for You-Know-Who, how come he never tried to hurt Harry before now?"
"There!" said Pettigrew shrilly, pointing at Ron with his maimed hand. "Thank you! You see, Remus? I have never hurt a hair of Harry's head! Why should I?"
"I'll tell you why," said Black. "Because you never did anything for anyone unless you could see what was in it for you. Voldemort's been in hiding for fifteen years, they say he's half dead. You weren't about to commit murder right under Albus Dumbledore's nose, for a wreck of a wizard who'd lost all of his power, were you? You'd want to be quite sure he was the biggest bully in the playground before you went back to him, wouldn't you? Why else did you find a wizard family to take you in? Keeping an ear out for news, weren't you, Peter? Just in case your old protector regained strength, and it was safe to rejoin him. . . . "
Pettigrew opened his mouth and closed it several times. He seemed to have lost the ability to talk.
"Er - Mr. Black - Sirius?" said Hermione.
Black jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her.
"If you don't mind me asking, how - how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?"
"Thank you!" gasped Pettigrew, nodding frantically at her. "Exactly! Precisely what I -"
But Lupin silenced him with a look. Black was frowning slightly at Hermione, but not as though he were annoyed with her. He seemed to be pondering his answer.
"I don't know how I did it," he said slowly. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn't suck it out of me. . . but it kept me sane and knowing who I am . . . helped me keep my powers . . . so when it all became . . . too much . . . I could transform in my cell . . . become a dog. Dementors can't see, you know . . ." He swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions . . . They could tell that my feelings were less - less human, less complex when I was a dog . . . but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand . . ."
"But then I saw Peter in that picture . . . I realized he was at Hogwarts with Harry. . . perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again . . ."
Pettigrew was shaking his head, mouthing noiselessly, but staring all the while at Black as though hypnotized.
". . . ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies . . . and to deliver the last Potter to them. if he gave them Harry, who'd dare say he'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with honors . . ."
"So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive. It was as if someone had lit a fire In my head, and the Dementors couldn't destroy it . . . It wasn't a happy feeling . . . it was an obsession . . . but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog . . . It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused . . . I was thin, very thin . . . thin enough to slip through the bars . . . I swam as a dog back to the mainland . . . I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when I came to watch the Quidditch, of course. You fly as well as your father did, Harry . . . . and then whenever I'd wander the castle trying to find Peter, like when I ran into you, Harry. I was so amazed to see you, and I just couldn't help but approach."
He looked at Harry, who did not look away.
"Believe me," croaked Black. "Believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them. "
And at long last, Harry believed him. Throat too tight to speak, he nodded.
"No!"
Pettigrew had fallen to his knees as though Harry's nod had been his own death sentence. He shuffled forward on his knees, groveling, his hands clasped in front of him as though praying.
"Sirius - it's me . . . it's Peter . . . your friend . . . you wouldn't -"
Black kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled.
"There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them," said Black.
"Remus!" Pettigrew squeaked, turning to Lupin instead, writhing imploringly in front of him. "You don't believe this - wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"
"Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter," said Lupin. "I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?" he said casually over Pettigrew's head.
"Forgive me, Remus," said Black.
"Not at all, Padfoot, old friend," said Lupin, who was now rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?"
"Of course," said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. "Shall we kill him together?"
"Yes, I think so," said Lupin grimly.
"You wouldn't . . . you won't . . . " gasped Pettigrew. And he scrambled around to Ron.
"Ron . . . haven't I been a good friend . . . a good pet? You won't let them kill me, Ron, will you . . . you're on my side, aren't you?"
But Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
"I let you sleep in my bed!" he said.
"Kind boy . . . kind master . . . " Pettigrew crawled toward Ron. "You won't let them do it . . . I was your rat . . . I was a good pet . . . . "
"If you made a better rat than a human, it's not much to boast about, Peter," said Black harshly. Ron wrenched himself away from Pettigrew. Pettigrew turned on his knees, staggered forward, and seized the hem of Hermione's robes.
"Sweet girl . . . clever girl . . . you - you won't let them . . . Help me . . . ."
Hermione pulled her robes out of Pettigrew's clutching hands and backed away against the wall, looking horrified.
Pettigrew knelt, trembling uncontrollably, and turned his head slowly toward Harry.
"Harry . . . Harry . . . you look just like your father . . . just like him . . . "
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY?" roared Black. "HOW DARE YOU FACE HIM? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"
"Harry," whispered Pettigrew, shuffling toward him, hands outstretched. "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed . . James would have understood, Harry . . . he would have shown me mercy . . . "
Harry scowled, leveling his wand at Pettigrew, pushing out with his element like Astra had taught him, causing fear to sprout in the man's mind, and hissed, "You speak of mercy to me? You must know who my patron is. Does the Underworld show mercy? I am not my father, and because of you, I don't know what he would have done."
Pettigrew whimpered as Lupin and Black strode forward, seized Pettigrew's shoulders, and threw him backward onto the floor. He sat there, twitching with terror.
"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," said Black, who was shaking too. "Do you deny it?"
Pettigrew burst into tears. It was horrible to watch, like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.
"Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord . . . you have no idea . . . he has weapons you can't imagine . . . I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James and Lily. I never meant it to happen . . . He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me -"
"DON'T LIE!" bellowed Black. "YOU'D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!"
"He - he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Pettigrew. "Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?"
"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Black, with a terrible fury in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter!"
"You don't understand!" whined Pettigrew. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"
Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.
"You should have realized," said Lupin quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter. "
Hermione covered her face with her hands and turned to the wall.
"Enough," Harry said firmly, but with power, and everyone around felt a hint of fear, as Harry used some more of what Astra had taught him to project his power, and Astra moved forward growling at Pettigrew, but in the way of Lupin and Black. "You can't kill him."
Black and Lupin both looked up and staggered.
"Harry, this piece of vermin is the reason you have no parents," Black snarled. "This cringing bit of filth would have seen you die too, without turning a hair. You heard him. His own stinking skin meant more to him than your whole family. "
"I'm aware," Harry said, staring at Pettigrew with distaste, "but if you kill him, his soul will find justice, but yours won't. You'll still be hunted. We'll take him up to the castle, and hand him over to the Dementors."
"Harry!" gasped Pettigrew, and he flung his arms around Harry's knees. "You - thank you - it's more than I deserve - thank you -"
"Get off me," Harry spat, throwing Pettigrew's hands off him in disgust. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for my family. Hear my words. Death will find you eventually, and if I'm lucky, I'll be his tool, and then, I will be praying to my patron to make sure you face eternal punishment for your cowardice and betrayal."
Pettigrew whimpered while Black and Lupin looked at each other before they lowered their wands.
"You're the only person who has the right to decide, Harry," said Black. "But think . . . think what he did . . ."
"He can go to Azkaban," Harry repeated. "If anyone deserves that place, he does . . ."
Pettigrew was still wheezing behind him.
"Very well," said Lupin. "Stand aside, Harry. "
Harry hesitated.
"I'm going to tie him up," said Lupin. "That's all, I swear. "
Harry stepped out of the way. Thin cords shot from Lupin's wand this time, and next moment, Pettigrew was wriggling on the floor, bound and gagged.
"But if you transform, Peter," growled Black, his own wand pointing at Pettigrew too, "we will kill you. You agree, Harry?"
"If he tries to run," Harry said coldly, "Astra will take care of him, and nobody can escape a hellhound."
Pettigrew shuddered, glancing at the still grownup looking Grim.
"Right," said Lupin, suddenly businesslike. "I believe we should take this straight to the headmaster's office."
"And two of us should be chained to this," said Black, nudging Pettigrew with his toe. "Just to make sure. "
"No need," Harry said, and pointed his wand at Pettigrew. "Umbra imperium!"
Harry's shadow sprung forward and connected to Pettigrew who whimpered as Harry used his shadow to force Pettigrew to move.
"I've got control of him now," Harry said, glancing at a stunned Black and Lupin. "Now, let's go."