She awoke in a strange yet familiar place. She stood up as she found herself in a narrow hallway, the Alliance logo plastered on its metal slabs, these halls, it reminded her of that ship she was on when she was eight; one of ships she was on with her mother.
Why was she here?
The air was still, disquieting. It was metallic in scent, in feel. Its claustrophobic halls empty. She could barely see the other end of the hall; a white, opaque fog limited her view. The light was dim, yet their usual crystal white colour. Darkness enveloped the horizon and the place felt so…cold. It was cold. Just like…space.
"Hehehehehe."
Kacey turned quickly to look behind her, the sound of laughter chilled her to the bone. It sounded like a little girl. Maybe seven or eight years old if she had to guess. She couldn't see anyone behind her but when she turned back around, she got the fright of her life as, in the distance just in sight, she saw a silhouette of a young human girl.
"Hehehehehe."
She giggled again before turning on her heel and running down the dark hallway. Kacey looked behind her before pursuing the young girl.
"Hey! Wait!" Kacey called after the young girl as she ran down the hallway.
She ran down the hallway, chasing after the little girl, but she never closed to gap between them. The little girl was always so far ahead, no matter how much Kacey pushed herself to run down the narrow, claustrophobic halls.
After a couple of minutes, she felt something in the air shift. It made her uncomfortable in a way that only one place had ever made her feel like that before. As she ran, she could hear a clicking noise, the noises of insects scuttling around, clicking. It made her feel sick. She continued forward, pushing herself harder and harder to catch up. The air changed again; the metallic smell disappeared, and the smell of rot and decay swept through the area. The smell of dead bodies.
What the hell was going on?
It was subtle; the metal plating on the walls of the ship started to rot. Rot, rot, and decay. The silver turned to black, and Kacey was left wondering what was going on as the child ahead of her goaded her to keep following her. Black turned to a dark, dirty brown, the crystal white lights dimmed, swallowed whole by an eerie, sickening orange hue that barely lit the path in front of her.
This was so familiar to her; she couldn't breathe. This place didn't have an atmosphere. The Collector ship never had any oxygen. Kacey stopped, "What the…?"
The young girl giggled; seemingly taking pleasure at Kacey's confusion. The little girl kept running, Kacey kept following until something hit her arm. Some type of…fluid.
Kacey looked at her arm, staggering back as she saw the familiar sight of blood. She looked up; red blood dripped from the ceiling and trickled down the organic walls. Kacey's stomach turned; why this? Why now?
She pressed on, and as she did, blue blood dripped from the walls, then green blood. Every colour that blood could be flowed from the walls, some dripped from the ceiling and stained Kacey's clothes. She kept running through the raindrops of blood that coated the environment.
The sound of a Reaper echoed loudly through the hall; its deafening horn sent shivers down Kacey's spine. She was without her weapons, armour, and allies. The moment the horn sounded off; the young girl froze in place. Kacey drew closer to the young girl, who was not covered in blood. She was dressed smartly; she was in an Alliance uniform that was worn by the children of active-duty Alliance soldiers: a navy-blue blazer with a single horizontal gold bar on the shoulders, a white shirt, a navy-blue skirt with black tights and small black shoes with gold buckles. But it was only when Kacey got a good look at the child's face, did she realise who it was she was chasing.
"Don't you recognise your own face?" The young girl giggled.
The girl's scarlet red hair was tied back into a plait, a few strands of hair that curved around the side of her face. The plait was sat on her right shoulder, and her bright sapphire blue eyes looked at her with…amusement?
"You're…me?" Kacey said confused.
"And you're too late."
"Too late?"
"Too late to save him."
Loud banging noises ripped throughout the hall; Kacey's younger self giggled again as Kacey ran off in the direction of the noise. It sounded exactly like the noise the synthetic made when it had attacked Kaidan. As she ran, she saw the silhouette of the synthetic hitting someone against the wall. the blue armour…it couldn't be…
"Kaidan!" Kacey shouted as the synthetic tossed Kaidan's body towards Kacey.
Kacey kneeled down, but it was in vain. No matter what she did, whether she shook him, called him, he did not wake up. He was…dead.
"YOUR FORM IS WEAK AND FRAGILE."
…
Kacey shot up, gasping for air. She found herself in the Captain's Cabin, drenched in sweat. She took a few deep breaths, before pulling herself out of the bed. It was then that she noticed something sitting on the coffee table nearby that wasn't there when she went to sleep. She stepped over the pieces of her armour that she left all over the floor and headed over towards the coffee table where a clean Alliance military uniform was sitting, neatly folded with a sticky note on top. Kacey picked up the note, reading its contents:
Hey Commander,
Liara and I managed to get a clean military uniform for you. Figured you wanted to wear something other than that prison outfit. I just came up and dropped it off, nothing else. I didn't want to wake you.
James.
Kacey gave a small laugh as she looked at the uniform. It didn't feel right for her to have it. After what she did, she didn't deserve it. She needed to earn it. Earn it back. It was the only way her conscience would let her wear it.
She locked the door to the Captain's Cabin before taking the clean clothes into the bathroom and sitting it on the counter next to the sink. She took off her clothes, tossing them aside without a care in the world as she stepped into the shower to get washed. After spending six months in a pretty comfortable yet claustrophobic enviorment, it was almost comforting to Kacey to be back on the Normandy, circumstances aside. It had been her home for over three years now.
She took the bar of soap and began to scrub her body with it; her mind drifting to another place entirely. She was so worried about Kaidan; worry that she didn't know the source of. Of course, she still cared for him, it is hard to stop loving someone after all, but after all of those tense arguments and spats…maybe a part of her hadn't or rather didn't want to get over it. That night…the night before Ilos kept replaying in her head, never stopping, never ending.
"If things don't go well, I want you to know…well, I've enjoyed serving under you."
"Kaidan, you stopped being a subordinate a long time ago. Don't you think it's time to act like it?"
"Battlefield flirting is one thing, Kacey. There are regs against fraternisation."
"Funny, you just broke one now. And lucky for you, I've never heard the term, 'battlefield flirting'."
"Well, I suppose breech of protocol will be pretty far down the list of charges at our court-martial."
"You make sound like a date."
"You know what? You're right. About everything. I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything, even the Reapers, will come around again. But you and I, we are more important right now. And this is what will never happen again. Us. Kacey, you make me feel…human."
"Bunk here tonight, Kaidan. With me."
"Is that an order, Commander?"
"Damn right, now get over here."
It was weird to think about now, after everything between them had now fallen apart. It wasn't as if he hadn't tried to warn her before. They both knew they had to be careful not to mix their personal relationship with their work. But it was too late for that now.
One of them was dead for two years and other is on the brink of it. Hell of a romantic story.
She shook the thoughts from her head, as she moved to wash her hair. The dream she had, it flashed before her eyes again. It was harrowing and it certainly didn't make much sense to her. If it was karma for what happened to Kaidan, then fine. She could accept that. But if it was anything else, she had no idea. Kacey rarely understood herself much less her subconscious.
She turned the shower off and promptly grabbed a towel to dry herself. It was in these situations that she was happy to have short hair; granted it was a bit longer now than it was before but nothing she couldn't manage. She dried herself quickly before getting dressed, starting with her underwear, and moving towards the trousers, then the shirt before finally putting the boots on.
She looked in the mirror; she suited it. Really well. And that bothered her. She didn't deserve it. Her conscience wouldn't let her accept it. No matter how much Kacey wanted to.
…
They were only a few minutes out from the Citadel by the time Kacey headed down to the CIC, avoiding the looks of the Alliance crew on the deck. The scowl on her face helped to keep people away from her; presumably Joker had mentioned something about her sour mood as well.
But it seemed that her sour mood was not a good enough deterrent for James, who approached from seemingly nowhere. Granted, her sour mood had nothing to do with James himself; he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Looking good, Commander." James said with a small smile.
Kacey looked away, a smirk creeping across her face, "Thanks, but I don't think I deserve this right now."
"What? The uniform?"
"Yeah." Kacey replied, avoiding the looks of the crew, "And clearly I'm not the only one who thinks so."
James looked around the CIC, noticing the nasty glares Kacey was receiving. Kacey started to head towards Joker as James followed her and continued, "Just ignore them, Commander. They're just salty over what happened on Mars."
"I bet." Kacey said without so much as a backward glance, "I'm expecting to be accused of attempted murder any minute now."
"Only an idiot would think that what happened to Kaidan was your fault."
"Then I must be a very big idiot then."
"It wasn't your fault." James said firmly, "It was that Eva synthetic that's to blame, not you."
"Maybe." Kacey replied, stopping just outside the airlock, "Speaking of Kaidan, I'm sorry you had to hear us arguing like that."
"Its fine, Commander." James replied, "I didn't think much of it if I'm being honest."
"Probably for the best." Kacey said, "I don't particularly want to talk about the details."
"I can tell. That is a nasty scowl you've got across your face."
"I'm just not in the best of moods, that's all."
"I can tell." Joker jumped in, "Hopefully, you won't put another dent in the wall."
"Nice to see you too." Kacey replied, her tone sour, "We there yet?"
"Just pulling us into port." Joker replied, "Medic's already at the port ready to take Kaidan to the hospital as soon as we land."
"Just make sure he gets there as soon as possible." Kacey said, "We don't know how much time he'll have."
…
"Barely got a pulse here."
"Move 'em out!"
"Where are you taking him?" Kacey asked the medics as they rushed Kaidan to the hospital.
"Huerta Memorial." The turian medic said, "Best care on the Citadel."
Kacey stopped, both relieved and anxious. She ran her hand through her scarlet hair as James and Liara caught up with her.
"We're not going with?" James asked, sounding a bit pissed off.
"We need to see the Council." Liara replied firmly.
"Right." James said, before his expression changed, "Looks like they might be coming to see you."
Kacey rolled her eyes; she didn't want to talk to the Council. It was a waste of precious time, not to mention that she was not a diplomat or politician. This wasn't something that she was remotely qualified to do.
"Commander Shepard. Got word you were arriving."
She turned around and saw Bailey standing behind her. Bailey was an okay sort of person. A blunt individual who wasn't as squeaky clean as other C-Sec officers, but more willing to get the job done without the bullshit politics getting in the way.
"Captain Bailey." Kacey said, putting on her composed 'Commander' face and shook his hand, "Good to see you again."
"You too, though it's 'Commander' now."
His expression didn't convey any sense of pride or happiness at the title. Kacey tilted her head to the side slightly as she replied, "Congratulations?"
Bailey groaned, "Thanks. Now half my job is dealing with political bullshit and escorting dignitaries around. No offence."
"None taken. Though I am offended by the person that considered me a dignitary." Kacey quipped, "So, you're here to take us to the Council?"
Bailey led the group towards the docking bay exit, "I'm here to tell you that the Council is expecting you, but they are dealing with their own…problems. With the war and everything."
"How convenient." Kacey muttered.
"They apologise for the inconvenience and blah, blah, blah…meet them here, at Udina's office. They'll be ready soon enough." Bailey said with the most boring and uninterested voice imaginable.
"Wouldn't it have been easier to put that in an email?" Kacey mused, "Rather than send you down here?"
"That would be the smart thing to do, Commander." Bailey replied, "Apparently, that's not how the Council works. You might have time to go by the medical centre, if you want check on progress over there."
"Thanks, I'll go do that first." Kacey said.
"You go on ahead." Liara said, "I'll head up to Udina's office."
"One of my men can show you the way." Bailey added, before turning his attention to James, "You?"
"I'm just a tourist today." James replied, "I'll try not to get into any trouble."
As James left, Bailey had seemingly got a message through the comms, as his expression became more aggravated, "I'll be right there." He said flatly, "The other half of my job. I'll see you around, Shepard."
"You bet."
…
Hospitals didn't sit right with Kacey. Something about them unnerved her since she was a kid. She didn't know what it was, but between the highly sterile nature of the environment and the ample amounts of equipment that Kacey didn't understand the function of, and she found herself a little bit uncomfortable with being here. She wasn't scared of hospitals, but they just made her a little bit anxious.
Made sense, really.
Kacey was never critically injured or ill enough to land herself in hospital; usually she was treated in a med-bay or a small clinic. Huerta Memorial was a large hospital, so she just wasn't used to the enviorment.
After checking up with the receptionist as to where in the massive sterile building she was supposed to go, she found herself wandering that direction until she heard someone call her name, or more specifically her rank and last name.
"Commander Shepard!"
She turned around to find Doctor Chakwas and Doctor Michel calling her over. She hadn't seen Doctor Chakwas since the Normandy was impounded and as for Doctor Michel, Kacey hadn't seen her in nearly three years. The thought reminded her of something; in a few months, it would've been four years since the Battle of the Citadel. How time flies.
"Shepard. There you are." Doctor Chakwas said relieved.
"Doctor Chakwas. You're here?" Kacey looked at the doctor, confused.
"I'm working at an Alliance R&D lab down in the Shalta Wards." Chakwas replied, "Coordinating closely with Admiral Hackett. I heard you had escaped Earth in the Normandy and that someone was critically injured. I came as fast as I could."
"We had a run in with a Cerberus synthetic on Mars." Kacey replied, "Kaidan took the worst of it. How is he doing?"
"Very well, all things considered." Chakwas confirmed, reassuring Kacey, "I'm impressed with Major Alenko's resilience, as well as Doctor Michel's expertise."
"I did what I could considering the circumstances." Michel added, "The head trauma was severe, but we reduced the swelling quickly. These types of injures can go either way. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, but his vitals are strong so I'm optimistic."
"Still, I wish I could've been there on Mars." Chakwas said.
"Well your place is in the Normandy's med-bay, not some lab." Kacey said.
"I couldn't agree more. Say the word and I'm with you."
"Welcome aboard, Doctor."
"Yes, Commander and thank you."
"Don't thank me so soon." Kacey smirked, "Remember, Joker is still aboard."
"And I'll be surprised if he's been remembering his medication."