The fact that Damian was putting some pieces together was a problem. Anya chewed her lip, and tapped her pen against the desk in her room.
The day had dragged on, and Anya had done her best to try to recover from what had happened earlier in the day, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was the start of something that she had very little control over.
Who was that doctor with the needle? Would she ever gain those memories back, or even find out what had really happened?
Her memories of her time in the lab were so vague, that even as a teenager it felt like blurred pictures in her mind. She knew the memories existed (somewhere), but it was hard to fully parse the images in her mind, and understand what her gut was trying to tell her.
And as for Damian, clearly he had started to piece together something that was a little too close to the truth. Too close for Anya's comfort anyway.
Sure, there were some things she said that she had wanted to tell him, but Anya still didn't know for sure what she was ready to share, and what she needed to take to the grave. But one thing was certain - she wouldn't let Damian get any closer to the truth than he already was. It would jeopardise everything she had worked towards so far.
It could destroy Operation Strix. What if he decided to report her? What if he never wanted to see her again?
It would destroy their friendship. He would realise that everything she had ever said was a lie. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Anya wanted to try to pretend that everything was normal, but she couldn't shake his comment (even though he hadn't said it out loud), and when she saw him in class the next day, Anya strained to be normal.
"Sy-on boy!" she squeaked. "Good to see you," she said awkwardly when he picked her up again at the bus stop.
"Hey," said Damian coolly, and offered her his elbow without even a second thought.
As she placed her hand on his elbow, Anya distantly realised that they had come a long way together. Here they were, touching casually, when only a few months ago, something like this would have sent sparks of electricity through her skin. It seemed like being around Damian was just a bit more normal than it had been before, and Anya wondered if he felt the same way. She wondered if he still got flustered around her like he used to, or if he had learned to settle around her the same way that she could feel comfortable around him.
"Everything alright?" asked Damian after a particularly big sigh on her part.
"Oh, uh, yeah," stammered Anya. "It's just, I've got a lot on my mind."
He nodded in understanding, and then after a short pause he blurted: "Well, uh, if you want to talk about it, I would be fine with that, I guess."
She giggled in response. He could be really cute when he acted awkward.
Anya's mind snagged on that last thought and she caught herself mid-smile.
She thought he was cute? But what did that mean? Why did she think that way about him? Not like a dog was cute, but just in a human way. A human-that-she-liked kind of way.
Anya felt her mind spiral into Becky territory, so she decided to abandon that line of thought. Thinking about Damian as 'cute' was too much for her to handle.
In any case, Anya still didn't really know what her feelings even were, and a part of her wondered if she would still want to hang out with him outside of Operation Strix. What would happen once it was over, and Damian's father was taken down? What then? Would she still be able to look him in the eyes knowing that she had destroyed his family and everything he cared about?
A good spy didn't make emotional connections with their targets, but something in Anya just knew this was different. These were her friends. In many ways they had grown up together, and experienced so many things together.
But, she still had a job to do, and a mission to complete. She couldn't afford to get caught by him. As for Damian…
She would have to think about it later.
Ice pricked on her skin, right at the back of her neck, and she felt like she was being watched again. Why was this feeling coming back? She glanced up to the top balconies of the academy where she saw a small figure standing up straight, eyes on her.
Adrian, Anya realised immediately. The boy who eluded her and her mind reading skills. She still had no answers about him, and was no closer than the week before in figuring out what his whole deal was.
As if sensing her own gaze on him, Adrian turned away from her and walked back into the school behind him.
"Did I miss something?" said Damian questioningly, and nodded his head to where Adrian had just been standing. "You two seemed to share a moment."
Anya shrugged off the tingle in her skin and turned to Damian. "No need to be jealous," she joked, and Damian turned scarlet.
"Oh, so you are jealous!" Anya smirked.
"I just don't know what you see in him, that's all," said Damian with a pout.
He sounded so ridiculous that Anya laughed. "Trust me, it's not like that. He just..." she gazed towards the balconies with a twist of thoughtfulness in her voice. "He gives me a weird feeling."
Damian's nerves shot upwards. "What kind of feeling?"
She rolled her eyes playfully. "Not what you're thinking, I can tell you that much."
"And how do you know what I'm thinking?" Damian meant it as a joke, to tease her, but he didn't miss her eyes widen in what looked like alarm, but it was gone in less than a second.
"Uhh, I don't! Obviously!" she stammered, and Anya cursed herself for sounding so high-pitched and on-edge.
Damian raised a solitary eyebrow as he stared at her, with a tense smile frozen on his face. "I know, duh. It was just a joke."
Anya exhaled with a forced laugh. "Yes. Yes, of course. A joke." If she laughed then, it would definitely sound forced, so she decided to quickly change tracks. "He just gives me the creeps!"
Damian's shoulders sagged with relief, and Anya realised just how much tension he was holding. "The creeps! Yes, that is a weird feeling. I mean, that would certainly be weird."
Then it was Anya's own turn to look at him questioningly. "Are you okay Damian? You sound a bit on edge."
"Well, so do you," Damian huffed. "So is there something you're not telling me? Some other secret maybe, that's weighing you down?"
Go on, give me something to tell me that it's all in my head. Tell me you're not a spy.
Anya gulped. She knew she was in dangerous territory with Damian, but staying away from him was not an option. Not for Operation Strix, and not for her.
But she had to say something to Damian. She needed to keep up the facade, and if she could draw his attention to something else, then maybe he could forget all about the spy thing.
Anya tried to calculate a response in her head that would distract Damian from his question.
"He's just…" She bit her lip. "Doesn't he give you a weird feeling? Like something bad could happen?"
Damian shrugged. "Just seems like your everyday arrogant rich kid to be honest."
Anya raised her eyebrow with a smirk. "And you would know because…?"
"Fine," Damian sighed, but Anya caught a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "I happen to know another arrogant rich kid very well."
"Oh yeah?" Anya teased and sidled in closer to his side. "And does his name begin with a D?"
"Actually it does," said Damian brightening up. "Demetrius, my older brother, very arrogant-"
"You hypocrite!" she nudged him with her elbow.
"Hey!" exclaimed Damian, laughing. "I know, I know. I'm still a bit arrogant."
Anya tried to hide her laugh behind her other hand, but failed, and laughed even louder. "More like a lot."
"Hey!" Damian responded, and he opened his mouth to say something else when the bell went, signalling the start of class.
"Oh shit, we're already late!" he exclaimed. "Let's go!"
They ran to the class together, and arrived at the doors at the same time, panting heavily just as the professor reached Damian's name on the roll call.
"Here!" he wheezed, and Anya followed him to their seats.
"That was a close one," whispered Anya. She knew the general rule for being late was that if they got there in time for their names being called, then they wouldn't get a Tonitrus Bolt. She was already so close to getting expelled. The final Tonitrus Bolt would be the nail in the coffin for her.
Anya slid into her seat next to Becky, who eyed the two with interest. "Oh? And what were you doing with Damian so late into the morning?"
"Becky! It's not like that," Anya hissed under her breath, and instinctively added: "We're just friends."
"Oh shut up!" Becky whispered forcefully as she slammed her books on her desk. "When are you going to admit you have feelings for each other? I can't take this suspense any more!"
"Silence please!" called Professor Henderson, and the girls straightened up in their chairs. "Today we're going to start a new project, and you will be working in assigned pairs. When I call your names, please move to sit with your new partner."
Under the desk, Anya crossed her fingers, and hoped that she would stay with one of her friends.
"Emile Egeburg and Ewen Egeburg," he called, and the two hi-fived each other.
"Becky Blackbell and Damian Desmond."
"What!" cried Becky at the same time that Damian shouted. "Hell no!"
"You will sit in your pairs as stated! Now settle down while I continue," Professor Henderson said sharply, and then took a moment to adjust his monocle.
Anya gulped. If all her friends were suddenly taken, who would she be put with?
"Anya Forger and Adrian Kuning," called Professor Henderson, and Anya's stomach dropped. She turned around to see him jolt at her sudden movement, and he waved shyly at her, then quickly dropped his hand and pretended to read his own notes.
Anya's skin prickled when she went to sit down next to him. Together they looked over their project briefs that Professor Henderson handed out, and Anya felt the nausea rise in her stomach.
They were supposed to work on a political brief - something about writing a draft policy? Anya's eyebrows knitted together as she looked over the brief. This looked like something that politicians did, not something that a normal high school student would have to do.
Anya looked around the class carefully.
But then again, none of them were normal high school students. They were children of the most powerful elite in Berlint, perhaps in all of Ostania. She was looking at future politicians, leaders and CEOs.
So they really are trained through school, then? Anya thought sadly, and realised with a pang that this really did set them apart from the other students in Ostania (perhaps globally). The school expected them to do well, so it set them tasks that aligned with their potential future goals, and gave them a taste of the work of a successful adult before they even graduated, so they could enter the workforce more prepared than any other student their age.
The political brief looked boring to Anya, but she could see several other kids in the class whose eyes lit up when they read over it.
"My father has told me all about this," drawled Damian. "He let me look through their policy briefs that they drafted for the prime minister to set out new laws. This will be easy."
Anya glanced again at her own sheet. She wasn't so sure that it would really be that easy. She looked sidelong at her own project partner Adrian, who avoided eye contact with her, instead staring resolutely out of the window, even though there was nothing there. Her eyes scanned his posture; completely rigid and upright, it was as if he was trying so hard to look relaxed that it actually had the opposite effect.
If she was going to get a good grade with Adrian as her partner, then she would really have to pull her weight and take on the majority of the planning. She didn't trust that he would do very well with his part of the assignment at all.
And she definitely couldn't afford another Tonitrus Bolt…
Anya brought out her pens and set them in front of Adrian. "Let's brainstorm some ideas together, and then we can decide what area we want to make a policy brief in and draft up a plan."
Adrian didn't move, and kept his head turned completely away from her.
Anya resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but started talking anyway, and noted down her ideas as she brainstormed out loud. It would be better just to get it over and done with.
"We can start with something that matters to everybody, like education, or parenting. I think education would be better since it's got a potentially wider impact, so if we have a look at how the average kid experiences education, we can start to draft up policies on how to make it more equal to the richer kids. Or something like that. I haven't looked at policies before so we would have to do a lot of research…"
Anya continued talking to the sullen Adrian until the bell signalled the end of class. He got up and left without a word, while she packed the papers away in her bag.
"Oh my god! He just infuriates me," said Becky, coming to link her arms with Anya. "I swear Anya, I don't know how you put up with him."
"Damian's not that bad," said Anya quickly. "You just need to get to know him and-"
"Oh no, I meant Adrian!" Becky exclaimed with an embarrassed smile. "You were so patient with him the whole day, I honestly don't know how you do it. I have so much admiration for you! Who knew my best friend could actually be so patient with a sad little boy!"
Anya forced out a laugh, but suddenly speaking about Adrian made her feel entirely uncomfortable. "Thanks Becky, it's hard to get a conversation going with him, and I still don't know-"
She cut herself off with a start, releasing with horror that she was about to say something to the effect of "I still don't know why I can't read his mind like everyone else". Anya quickly changed tracks, when she saw Becky's look of confusion.
"I still don't know why he even bothers," she settled on saying, which sounded closer to the lines of something she had heard in Berlint in Love.
Becky laughed. "Damn right! Come on, let's go and sit with the boys in the library."
As Becky and Anya walked to the library, arms linked, they passed Bill Watkins standing by the lockers.
"Oh hey Bill!" said Anya, and gave him a little smile. "It's been a while! How ya doing?"
Bill's eyes flickered warily to Becky, who gave an almost imperceptible nod.
He pulled at his collar. "It has been a while, Forger. I hope you are doing well."
Anya frowned, then looked between him and Becky. "Why are you speaking so formally? That's really weird for you."
"I always speak like this," Bill rumbled.
"Anya," Becky interjected. "Remember when a lady declines the date of a man, he has to redeem himself for her."
"Huh?" Anya blinked. She stared up at Bill, who towered over her. "That makes no sense. And I'm friends with Bill, so he doesn't have to do that."
Bill sweated nervously. "Well, A-Anya, it's good to know that we're still friends. I'll leave you both to it then…"
He walked away, and his Imperial Scholar cape swung tightly behind him. Anya turned to Becky, about to mention the strangeness of Bill's behaviour, when she caught a glance in Becky's eyes. Something warm, and sparkly and…
Was Becky smiling after Bill?
She had that same look on her face as when she used to look at Loid…
"Becky!" gasped Anya, as it clicked into place. "You have a crush on Bill?"
"What?" Becky whipped round to Anya with her eyes wide with alarm. "No I don't! Don't say crazy things!"
"Ah! You do!" Anya squealed. For once, she didn't have to read her best friend's thoughts to read her true feelings - it was all over her bright red face. "You have a crush on Bill Watkins!"
"Ssh! Don't say that so loud!" Becky put her hands over Anya's mouth, and looked around surreptitiously. "Don't let anyone hear you say that!"
"Why not?" said Anya, which under Becky's hand sounded a bit muffled and more like: "Wob wob?"
Becky removed her hand from Anya's mouth and threw them up in the air. "Because! It's not good for my reputation, so don't even start!"
"But Bill is really nice! And he looks older, and he's a son of someone important. So he's probably your type!"
"That's not-" Becky started, and then she huffed with resignation. "It's not like that."
Anya folded her arms in front of her and raised her eyebrows. "You're my best friend. I can tell when you like someone, so what's really going on?"
Becky sighed, and pulled Anya around the corner into a small, empty classroom, then shut the door behind her.
"Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret! Do you promise?" And just to show how serious she was, Becky held out her pinky.
Anya hesitated. When they were kids a pinky promise meant something sacred, but now that they were in their last year at Eden, it was something that fell away with their childhood. For Becky to bring it back at that point meant something really serious.
And was Anya really ready to hold another secret within her?
…But it was for her best friend, and sometimes best friends had duties that they had to keep.
Anya took Becky's pinky in her own and gave it a squeeze. "Promise."
Becky breathed a real sigh of relief. "Okay. So. You're right. I do really like Bill, and we're currently dating!" At her confession, Becky did allow herself to smile tentatively.
"Ah! I knew it! I'm so happy for you!" Anya jumped up and down, genuinely excited for her best friend.
"But!" Becky took both of Anya's hands in hers and squeezed them together in a desperate plea. "We can not go public! So you have to keep it a secret!"
"I still don't understand," said Anya cautiously. "Why not?"
"No offence Anya," Becky sighed, "but there are some things that you just don't understand even after I explain it. I can try, but even if you don't agree, you have to keep it a secret for me."
Anya nodded sagely, not taking offence, and Becky breathed in deeply before continuing. "I'm the Blackbell heir, so who I choose as my partner really matters. It even matters at school, because a lot of high school sweethearts get together as adults!"
Anya privately thought that might just be something that happened on Berlint in Love, but she didn't say it out loud.
"And while Bill isn't necessarily in the same position as me, his father is also a really important figure in the military, so he has to consider his future wife really carefully as well. Something as simple as a high school relationship isn't as simple for us. If this kind of thing became public, or if other people started to figure it out, our parents would find out, and then they'd force us to be apart, and then everything goes downhill from there and I will never be happy again! Understood?"
Anya nodded mutely, still not understanding. "Understood."
Becky sighed. "You are such a bad liar Anya." But she gave a wan smile all the same. "Just please don't tell. Not even Desmond, okay?"
"Okay," said Anya. "I promise."
They embraced in a hug to seal the secret.
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Anya got to fit in a lot of interactions in this one - we had Damian, Adrian, Bill, AND Becky! Damianya interactions are my favourite (and this chapter really was fun) but it's great to see that anya hasn't forgotten about her other friends too!
I seriously cannot wait for the next one, the promised plot picks up AND we will see another side to Adrian O.O