Thursday afternoon Teddy answered the door surprised to find Michelle on the other side.
"Hi," Teddy greeted.
"I was just dropping some meals off for you," Michelle said, "a few families in our church made some things."
"Thank you," Teddy replied, "come in."
Michelle stepped inside, "how are they doing?"
"Ev was up most of the night and they're all napping," Teddy said, "I can go wake Allie and Asher."
"Where are they," Michelle asked expecting to see the sleeping teens in the living room.
"Their room," Teddy said, "the door was open and their both passed out on top of the bed. Allison sleeping is good. She doesn't sleep when she's stressed or anxious."
"Asher can't sleep if something bothers him," Michelle said.
"This looks like they just passed out," Teddy admitted, "they haven't slept in 3 nights."
"You and Owen," Michelle asked.
"We're worried," Teddy said, "Allison is close to breaking which means she'll need me."
"Asher called Mark last night," Michelle said.
"They're done," Teddy admitted, "have a seat. I'm sure they'll be up soon. Ev isn't sleeping for very long right now."
Upstairs Everly began to fuss.
"She ate an hour ago," Allison said startling awake.
"I think she's in pain," Asher said.
"Moms home," Allison said, "we can't. I can't."
"I know," Asher said.
"I can't do this," Allison sobbed.
"I have her," Asher said, "I'm going to take her down to see your mom. I thought I heard the mixer, she's stress baking."
Asher took Everly out of her bed and carried her downstairs.
"Teddy," Asher asked from half way down the stairs.
"Down here with your mom," Teddy replied, "why is Ev crying?"
"We don't know," Asher said, "she went down for a nap 45 minutes ago and was just fed and changed before that. We can't give her more Tylenol for another hour."
"When did you give it to her," Teddy asked.
"10am," Asher said.
"It's 3 that's 5 hours," Teddy said, "give it to her and see."
"Can I see if Nana can soothe her," Michelle offered.
"You can try," Asher agreed, "she has a couple incisions so be really gentle."
"Asher can I check them," Teddy asked, "and why does she have a hat on?"
"She was rubbing the back of her head on the bed we put the hat on to keep the gauze in place," Asher replied.
"Good thinking," Teddy praised, "you hold her like that I want to check her incisions and change the gauze."
"Is it okay," Michelle asked.
"For me to do yes Allison and Asher no," Teddy said, "I'm a surgeon Michelle."
"I know that," Michelle said, "I just didn't think at home."
"I'm going to go up and get a med kit," Teddy said.
"Of course," Asher said, "mom, do you want to hold her until Teddy gets back."
Michelle gently took the baby, "we've watched you the last few days. Ash, I'm proud of you. You're a man. I know your dad and I have been harsh. You've stepped up. I can see you and Allie are partners. You love her. I see that now. What you're doing isn't easy. Your making me proud. You're the man I always dreamed you would be. Sooner than we expected but you've done it. "
"Will dad be okay with Ev being special needs," Asher asked.
"He's worried but doesn't know how to reconnect with you and get to know Allie." Michelle said, "he loves you. Your dad is a proud man, he likes control and things going according to this plan."
"I know," Asher said, "we let you guys down."
"You could have taken a much easier route " Michelle said, "the two of you chose the harder route."
"Mom I love them," Asher said, "Allison and I will be together but we're 18. Things are hard right now."
"What do you need," Michelle asked.
"Money is tight," Asher admitted, "we're lucky Teddy and Owen are paying for Allison's school. They got us in a program through the Fox Foundation that will cover Everlys medical care."
"What do you need, what do they need," Michelle asked.
"We're good on essentials," Asher said.
"Christmas is coming," Michelle said, "what does Allie like?"
"She loves to read in English ans French. She's nearly fluent in French and speaks to Ev or sings to Ev in it," Asher said.
"Where did she learn," Michelle asked.
"Annie has dual American and Canadian citizenship," Asher explained, "Annie grew up speaking it and uses it with her kids and Allison. Chris Annie's brother uses it as well. I took Spanish but they all do French. I'm starting to follow more. Until Annie, Chris or Dan get excited and then it's too fast for me. Allie got the highest mark possible on her AP French exam last spring a week before Ev was born."
She wrote AP exams 9 months pregnant," Michelle gasped.
"She wrote her history one when Ev was three weeks," Asher said, "she took Ev with her to school and they let Allie write in the guidance counselors office just her with Ev in the stroller."
"She's dedicated," Michelle said, "most girls would have dropped out."
"She wanted to a few times," Asher said, "but her parents wouldn't sign. She did he courses online and if she didn't feel up to it one day she didn't do it. She went to French in person every day but if she needed time the rest of the day she took it. She said if she was focused she could do each of her courses in about 3 hours a week."
"You're okay here," Michelle asked.
"Now," Asher said, "it took a while to adjust. It's quieter. And weird things like I got hurt at football last fall and Owen had to check it before I could have Advil. But we can help ourselves to the fridge and eat what we want whenever."
"If I let you and your brothers do that we'd never have groceries," Michelle said.
"I know," Asher said.
"I know it's a couple weeks away but I bought fabric to make Everly a Halloween costume," Michelle said, "this morning. I always made all of yours."
"What," Asher asked.
"We heard you both call her princess," Michelle said, "so a princess dress."
"Allie will love it," Asher said, "she was trying to see if Annie had something we could borrow."
Upstairs Teddy had found Allison sobbing on her bed.
"Okay baby girl," Teddy said, "you've had enough haven't you."
Allison nodded into her pillow.
"Can you sit up and tell me what's going on," Teddy coaxed.
Allison shook her head.
"I'll lay with you then," Teddy replied, "Michelle is downstairs with Ev and Ash. They're okay. It's just you and I."
Allison continued to sob her whole body shaking.
Teddy laid on the bed beside Allison, "I'm here. I'm here, you're at home, you're safe. I'm not going to go anywhere until you're ready for me to. I'm here and I love you."
Allison kept crying.
"I know you're crushed," Teddy whispered, "you're devastated and that's okay. She's your baby. Every time she hurts you're going to hurt that's being a mom. Allison, you are a good mom."
"It's too hard," Allison bawled.
"It feels impossible sometimes," Teddy agreed, "you are not alone."
"Mommy," Allison whimpered.
"I'm here," Teddy said stroking Allison's hair, "I'm here Allie."
"I hurt her," Allison whimpered.
"No baby girl," Teddy assured, "Allie it just happened the chances of this are so small."
"Her brain and her legs," Allison cried.
"Even Jenna didn't know about the hydrocephalus until she did an MRI," Teddy said, "we have all the information."
"I don't know how to do this," Allison sobbed.
"I don't either," Teddy admitted, "we can figure it out together."
"How do I fix it," Allison asked.
"You hold her and love her now and then you do all of her physio with her, you help her be as strong and independent as possible," Teddy said, "just like dad and I are doing with you."
"Asher," Allison sniffed, "he's going to hate me."
"I think he's really worried about Everly and about you," Teddy said.
"I let him down," Allison sobbed.
"No," Teddy assured, "Allison this just happens we don't fully know why. Everly will be amazing. Your daughter will be good."
"I don't know how to help her," Allison cried.
"None of us do," Teddy said, "dad and I are here to help, Michelle is here, her and Mark want to help. Meg will, Annie and Josh. Your family will do this with you. You will ever be alone."
"I feel alone," Allison said, "I'm alone and I'm mad."
"What do you want to do," Teddy asked.
"I need to move," Allison said, "I need to run or to dance."
"Saturday go to drop in class," Teddy said, "tonight go for a run."
"I haven't run in a year," Allison said.
"I know," Teddy said, "you don't have to be fast. Just move."
"I want to scream and cry and get mad," Allison said, "I feel like I did a year ago."
"Okay," Teddy said, "do you want to go back to Dr Carlson?"
Allison nodded.
"You have to call," Teddy said, "do you still have the number?"
Allison nodded, "I don't know if my medication is working right."
"The last few days have been very very stressful," Teddy said, "you were doing really well last week. I don't want to change a medication that has been working until now. You're the only one that is safe for you to breastfeed with. That medication was chosen because of how safe it is. We could adjust the dose but thats up to Dr Carlson. Or if you want to change medications you'll have to wean Everly."
"Can you call," Allison sniffed.
"You're 18," Teddy said, "you have to call, I can't do it for you anymore."
"I can't do it," Allison sobbed, "I can't do this."
"Lets make a list," Teddy said, "what has to be done today?"
Allison shrugged.
"I'm getting a sheet of paper," Teddy said grabbing a sheet of loose leaf paper and a pen off the desk, "tell me three things that you need to do for you before you go to bed, things that will help you feel calm. I'm
Adding call Dr Carlson."
"A run, bubble bath and hot cocoa," Allison said.
Teddy wrote them down, "now 3 things you have to do for Ev."
"She needs fresh air, a bath and tummy time," Allison said.
"Something for you and Asher," Teddy prompted.
"A game," Allison said.
"Okay," Teddy said, "here's your list. Do that first. Michelle brought dinners for us for a few days. Their church ladies made us meals and sent some treats and things for Everly."
"Is Michelle still here," Allison asked.
"I think she is. She wants to check in with you," Teddy said.
"I'm not ready," Allison whined.
"We can have a couple more minutes," Teddy assured.
"She's going to hate me," Allison complained.
"No," Teddy said, "we're all here to hold you up. This is hard. You can say it's hard. Today is hard, this week will be hard, next week will get a little better."
"I have to go to school next week," Allison complained.
"You do," Teddy said, "if she's still clingy take her to classes if you can."
"Do you think Dad, Annie and Auntie Meg would come to school with us and walk her around campus when I'm in class so she's close but not right in class," Allison asked.
"Ask," Teddy said.
"Where's my baby," Allison asked.
"Asher has her down stairs," Teddy said, "I was coming up to get a kit and change her dressings."
"I'll help," Allison said.
"Wash your face, bush your hair and put on a clean shirt first," Teddy said, "you'll feel better."
"Michelle," Allison asked.
"I'll tell her you're having a hard day," Teddy said, "take your time."
"Can I have a hug first," Allison asked.
"Always," Teddy said, holding Allison tight.
A few minutes later Teddy came down with the medical kit.
"That's quite the first aid kit," Michelle commented.
"Two field surgeons," Teddy replied, "unless it's broken or surgical we deal with the kids' injuries at home."
"Is Allie okay," Asher asked.
"Your mom and I can do this she needs you," Teddy said, "she's devastated."
"I know," Asher said, "she's blaming herself for all of it. We know it's random and it just happens."
"Please make sure she knows you're not blaming her," Teddy said.
"Is she in our room," Asher asked.
"She is," Teddy said.
"How do I help you," Michelle asked.
"Can you hold her so I can scrub and glove," Teddy asked.
"I always want to snuggle her," Michelle said, "I'm jealous of all your baby cuddles."
"When I can get her from Owen," Teddy laughed as she washed her hands.
"Your husband," Michelle asked.
"Ev is grandpa's girl," Teddy smiled, "if she's really fussy and won't settle for Allie and Ash Owen can calm her. Okay lay her on the counter on the blanket."
Michelle laid Everly on the blanket on the counter. Teddy removed the baby's hat and took wet gauze to the edge of the tape holding the gauze over the incision.
"You don't just pull it," Michelle asked.
"Warm water will loosen the adhesive," Teddy said, "she's so little and it's her head. In March Asher got hurt at work at the end of his shift and Owen did stitches so yes helping him change the gauze we ripped the tape off. But Asher was 18, Everly is 4 months."
"Do you see many kids," Michelle asked.
"No," Teddy said, "our own. My oldest and her husband are peds specialists. Annie is cardio and Josh is trauma."
"Our son Mitchell has been hanging out with a girl from school who's parents are doctors at Grey Sloan," Michelle said, "do you know anything about the Altman-Riggs family."
"Ellie Altman-Riggs," Teddy smiled, "my oldest granddaughter. You know Annie as Grace Altman."
"I don't get Annie from Grace," Michelle said.
"Grace was my choice and Annabeth her middle name was her dad's," Teddy said, "Dan and his ex-wife raised Annie because I was in training or the army. It was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone being away from their child like I was. But Dan and Leslie preferred Annabeth but it was too long for a little kid so she became Annie."
"How long were you separated," Michelle asked.
"19 years," Teddy said, "I actually gave Annie up for adoption at birth. Dan isn't her biological father. Annie was Annabeth Grace McKellar until she was 22 and changed it for her own reasons. "
"But you chose part of her name," Michelle asked.
"Yes," Teddy said, "they wanted that connection to me. It was 1990, we wrote letters and emails, sent photos I called when I could. Annie knew I loved her and cared. She had to be 19 before I could actually see her. Her birthday is tomorrow. We met a month afterwards. She needed time to skype with me and talk openly. Until then she had been supervised talking to me."
Teddy turned her attention back to Everly and gently pulled the gauze away.
"Good girl," Teddy praised, "that looks clean and is healing well. The sutures are sitting right there's no blood or puss Jenna did a good job. It is a bit red and swollen but that's typical 48 hours post op."
"Is she okay," Michelle asked.
"They keep giving her the antibiotics and tylnol until the redness goes away," Teddy said.
"Mom, you were going to wait for me to do that," Allison grumbelled.
"It had to be done Allie," Teddy replied, "look at this with me thought. What do you see?"
"It's red and a little swollen," Allison said.
"It is," Teddy answered, "look at the sutures."
"They're in a perfect line," Allison said.
"Do you see anything else," Teddy asked.
"A scab," Allison said.
"Any blood or pus," Teddy asked.
"No," Allison replied.
"It's healing well," Teddy said, "48 hours post op she should have some swelling but the stitches aren't pulling."
"Is it infected," Asher asked.
"No," Teddy said, "we'd see puss and more swelling."
"How do we keep it from getting infected," Asher asked.
"Her antibiotic and give her more tylenol to keep her comfortable," Teddy said, "write it down when you give it to her please."
"The sheet on the fridge," Allison clarified.
"Yes," Teddy replied, "anytime either of you gives her anything chart it."
"We will," Asher assured.
"I'll put gauze on it later I want it to breathe a bit," Teddy said.
Allison lifted the baby up.
"Hi princess," Allison cooed, "is your head feeling better today?"
Everly cuddled into her mom.
"I know baby," Allison said, 'we've had a hard couple days but Nana came to see you today."
"Allison I know you have a ton on your plate right now," Michelle said, "would it be alright with you if I made her Halloween costume?"
"You want to make her one," Allison said, "I was going to borrow something from Annie's bin."
"She needs her own," Michelle said, "I bought pink fabric and silver trims today to make a princess dress is that okay with you?"
Allison smiled, "it's perfect for our princess."
"What size clothes is she wearing," Michelle asked.
"3-6 months," Allison said.
"I'll make it 6-9 month size so you can still put a onesie under to keep her warm if you go out," Michelle said.
"We were going to go with Annie's kids," Allison said, "just take her for the walk."
"Walk," Asher said, "I don't know about you but I'm taking her to the doors. I want Snickers."
"The kit kats are mine," Allison teased.
"I can just buy a box of each," Teddy laughed.
"That's less fun," Allison replied.
"You take her door to door you have to dress up," Teddy said.
"With a princess," Allison said, "what are we?"
"Her royal court," Michelle said, "can I do it?"
"Allie," Asher asked.
"I guess," Allison said.
"Favourite colour Allie," Michelle asked.
"Purple," Allison said, "and pink."
"Girly," Michelle asked.
"Yes," Allison smiled.
"Ash," Michelle asked.
"I'll match them," Asher said, "we'll trust you."
"Is it okay," Michelle asked, "make princess Everly her royal court?"
"Please," Allison said, "if you don't mind."
"I have an idea," Michelle said, "I'm going to have fun with it."
Allison kept pacing the room.
"Allie," Teddy asked.
"She's happier when were moving," Allison replied.
"Tea anyone," Teddy asked.
"Decaf," Allison replied.
"I should get going to get my younger ones from school," Michelle said.
"Can we come visit soon," Asher asked tentatively, "I'd like Allie and Ev to meet everyone."
"Soon," Michelle agreed, "maybe when Everly feels a bit better? Come for lunch on a weekend?"
"Sure," Asher said, "what do the others know?"
"They know that Allison and Everly exist," Michelle said, "and that the baby has been sick."
"I miss them," Asher said.
"I know and they miss you," Michelle agreed, "come next weekend."
"We will," Asher said, "thanks for coming today mom."
"Any time, anything you need let me know," Michelle said, "can I give her one more hug before I have to go?"
"Yes," Allison said, "thank you for everything Michelle."
"We're family Allie," Michelle said, "and nana will see you very soon Princess Everly."