TW: Suicide. This chapter might affect some people in a negative way. I in no way mean to offend, and I'm sorry if I do. And if this chapter upsets people, then please, talk to someone for help. There is always someone there for you, and always someone who cares for you, even if you don't always feel like it.
Leliana's person watched from the shadows as Kildarn walked off, back straight, mixed emotions showing on his face. Smug, but angry. Furious might be a better description for it. There was also some kind of sadness there. Understandable. Siara had killed his child. Once he was out of sight, the spy slipped down into the dungeons to get a better look at Siara. The elf looked almost comfortable to be there, from what little there was that could be seen of her from the hiding spot the spy had found. The guard shifted slightly, looking around the place, then shrugging before settling into a more comfortable position. It was only a matter of time before he was asleep, his head hanging slightly. Siara obviously knew that he was asleep, moving forward but not doing anything to the guard. The spy crept forward so Siara could see him, her eyes locking with his.
"Leliana?" she asked. The spy nodded.
"Varric told the Commander about the history you and Kildarn have."
"That dwarf never could keep his mouth shut, could he," siara sighed. "Guess in this case I should be grateful."
"We're doing everything we can to get you out of here," the spy told her, "you just sit tight."
"Like I have any other choice?"
"We know about you, Siara. We know that you could easily escape this cell if you so desired."
"It would just lead to more problems."
"Indeed. We'll have you out of here soon, though. You needn't worry."
"Yay, a knight in shining armour," her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Hurry the hell up, would you? At the very least have the trial sped up. Or find proof that I'm innocent. I'm only here because of the arson. They have nothing on me for the murder of Kildarn's kid. Or dig some dirt up on Kildarn. There's bound to be some. Pretty sure he had a mistress. Doubt he'd want his wife to find out about that."
"How much do you know about this man?" the spy frowned. "Are you certain he has a mistress?"
"I'm certain he at least had a mistress. Much younger woman. Decent looking, as far as human women go. Eyes are a bit big. Missing a couple of teeth. Think her name is Brianna… something like that, anyway."
"You know a lot about Kildarn."
"I was paid to kill his son, remember? My brother and I researched his whole family. The more you know about a guy, the more you can do to bring him and his family to their knees," she shrugged, turning and heading to the back of her cell, leaning lazily against the stone wall. The spy stood watching her for a second as she crossed her arms, then turned and slunk back into the shadows. There wasn't much left for Siara to do now but to wait.
The spy returned to Haven not long after, heading straight to Leliana to report in. The spy master listened closely, a calculating look in her eyes. This information about the mistress wasn't exactly new, but it was interesting. Leliana hadn't known about it, that was for certain. Siara was looking to be a bit of a catch. If they could get her out of Kildarn's grasp. An idea started forming as she listened to the spy's report.
"Send for Commander Cullen," she said once he was done. "I might have an idea for getting this mess under control."
"Yes, Messere," the spy bowed and hurried off, Leliana leaning over the table, hands resting either side of the map. She was still thinking of other things on top of the plans to break Siara out. It wasn't long later that Cullen approached, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword, as usual.
"You wanted me?" he asked, leaning casually against the pole in the middle of the tent. Leliana nodded.
"Yes," she said. "I believe that, since Siara was sent as a representative of the Inquisition, we should have authority over what happens to her as punishment."
"That could work," Cullen agreed, "but that would depend on Kildarn as much as anything. I highly doubt that he'd want to let the Blade slip through his fingers again. He'll want to kill her himself, which I can understand. She is seeming to be a bit of a thorn in the side." Leliana shook her head, standing straight and looking at the commander. She didn't say what she was thinking, instead weighing her words carefully.
"If you bring up a certain woman, Kildarn might be more willing to hear you out. And you'll want to get Siara back, she's got promise."
"Promise for what? Being a pain in proverbial rear end?" Cullen asked, though it was obvious he was still going to hear Leliana out. "Tell me your plan," he said, moving over to the map, Leliana smirking slightly as she turned and began to tell Cullen her idea.
It was a few days later that Siara was dragged into the main room of the castle, yanking her arm from the guard's grasp as he pushed her forwards slightly, scowling, glaring around at him.
"Fucking son of a Broodmother," she mumbled, rubbing her still burnt arm, turning to face Kildarn, a now extremely bored expression on her face. She paused when she spotted Cullen standing next to him. Kildarn looked less than pleased, but Cullen just looked professional. Siara sighed, then put a taunting smirk on her face.
"Smile, Kildarn. Or the wind will change and your face would stick, though I shouldn't imagine many would see much of a difference."
"Silence!" Kildarn boomed, his face growing red. "The only reason I don't kill you here and now is because the Commander here tells me the bloody Inquisition has jurisdiction over what happens to you."
"Does it, now?" Siara raised an eyebrow, walking up to stop just in front of the rise before Kildarn's throne. "Isn't that interesting. Know who has jurisdiction over arson?"
"Siara, as your commanding officer I command you to be silent," Cullen ordered, Siara looking around at him in offended surprise. For a moment she debated arguing with him, but she decided against it. Saying something now would just get her in trouble with Kildarn all over again.
"Take her from my sight," Kildarn spat, "and if I ever see her again, she will be killed on sight." Cullen half bowed, hand over his chest.
"Thank you, Lord Kildarn. Your mercy will not be forgotten."
"It better not be," he growled. "That bitch killed my son."
Siara didn't look at Cullen as he motioned for her to follow him out of the room, didn't move, just stood there looking at the floor, lost in thought.
"Siara," Cullen called back, stopping and turning to look at her. "Let's go." Siara shook her head, looking up at Kildarn.
"I didn't kill your son," she admitted finally, Kildarn's face going even redder, if that was even possible.
"Yes you did! Of course you did! Don't try to deny it! Filthy harlot!" Siara shook her head, ignoring the insult.
"He was dead when I got there. I looked around to see if someone'd gotten to him before I had, but there was no one. His wrists were slit. Clean cuts, inner elbow to palm. I'm sorry, Kildarn. I thought that keeping this from you would be kinder. But since I recently lost someone myself, I now believe that the truth is kinder. I believed that if I gave you someone to hate, you might cope better. Now I can see that all that did was destroy you even more," she half bowed, then stepped back. "I'm sorry for your loss."
She then turned and walked calmly from the room, Cullen staring after her for a moment before following, Kildarn screaming insults after her. Once she was gone, however, he collapsed back in his chair, tears streaming down his face.
They left as soon as Siara had collected her stuff, riding in silence for much of the journey back to Haven. It was the Blade that broke the silence when they were sitting around the camp fire for the night, eating army rations.
"You didn't have to get me out of there, ya know," she told him.
"Believe me, I tried making an argument that leaving you there to face Kildarn on your own was a better choice. Leliana, Josephine, and the Herald were all adamant that getting you out of there was smarter."
Siara looked up from picking at the bread in her hands, a mildly amused look on her face.
"The Herald, huh?" she asked. "Lady Jacquelyn Trevelyan herself stuck up for me? If there weren't holes in the sky already, I'd think the world was about to end."
"What have you got against her?" Cullen asked, suddenly on high alert, half glaring at Siara, who just shrugged.
"She's got everything. Always has, always will. Not to mention she's an ass."
"She's never done anything to you, and she just stood up for you!"
"Only because that's in keeping with her appearance of the perfect heroine. She couldn't give two tosses about me, not someone with a past as dodgy as mine. As far as she could care, I could get mugged and thrown in a ditch with a broken neck. The only reason she'd send a hunting party out would be if someone pointed out I hadn't been seen for a while."
"You underestimate the Herald."
"And you're clearly smitten with her," Cullen froze, taken by surprise. "I'm not wrong, am I? You hardly know her, and she has you wrapped around her little finger. Just another dog to lick at her feet." Cullen stood up abruptly, drawing his blade and pointing it at Siara.
"Take that back."
Siara popped a bit of bread calmly into her mouth before slowly looking up at him, blinking lazily. She shook her head, stretching.
"No, I won't," she told him. "There's no point. I wouldn't mean it. Jacquelyn is a manipulative bitch. Maybe I'm wrong. But from what experience I've got, the youngest siblings in successful families usually end up being manipulative. Cunning. Doing anything they can to get some recognition. The first example that comes to mind is Carver Hawke. Garrett got all the recognition, and what did Carver get? The Blight."
Cullen calmed slightly, realising that he'd overreacted, returning his sword to its sheath, once again sitting down, now feeling slightly awkward. He knew that it was probably just part of his withdrawals, but that didn't change anything.
"You knew Hawke?" he asked. Siara shrugged.
"I met him," she admitted.
"So you were in Kirkwall?"
She nodded. Cullen wanted to ask her more, but she was obviously not going to say anything else. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to find something to break the now rather uncomfortable silence.
"I'm sorry I… uh…" he cleared his throat and Siara shrugged.
"You're not on lyrium anymore and I insulted your girl. Forget about it."
Cullen nodded, though he was frowning slightly.
"How do you know I don't take it anymore?"
"Smell."
Cullen was confused about this, though he didn't say anything else. She was clearly not wanting to talk more on the matter. Still the silence felt awkward and uncomfortable, the only sound the horses snorting quietly and the fire crackling in the background.
"Did you mean what you said about Kildarn's son?"
Siara nodded.
"Left out the part that he wasn't quite dead yet, though. Figured he didn't need to know that part. That's why the people who saw me said I had blood all over me. For some stupid reason I tried to save him. Knew it wouldn't work. Still tried."
"You're not what people think you are, are you?"
"Depends who you ask. Some people think I'm a fucking hero," she scoffed. "Others think I'm an Abomination. I'll let you make your own judgement, though. I couldn't give a flying toss about what people think I am."
"What do you think you are?"
She looked up at Cullen, her mildly unsettling eyes meeting his own amber ones. She didn't respond, just watched him for a bit before pulling out her blades and a whet stone and proceeding to sharpen them. It was perfectly clear that the conversation was over.
Jacen sighed, head in his hands. This was hopeless. Siara was hopeless. How could someone be as hopeless as this girl was? It was beyond him. The commander was looking rather uncomfortable in the silence, and Siara didn't seem to care in the least.
"If I wasn't incorporeal, I'd be kicking your ass right now," Jacen told his sister through clenched teeth, despite knowing perfectly well that she couldn't hear anything that he was saying. Siara was a damned nuisance. He knew that she'd had troubles with templars in the past, but everyone was having trouble with them now. And Cullen wasn't a templar anymore. So why didn't she just get over it? She'd probably get along with him quite well if it weren't for the fact he used to be a templar. He wasn't too bad to look at, either, though Jacen highly doubted that the commander would swing his way, even if Jacen wasn't… well… dead.
The commander got up from his spot near the fire and walked over to check on the horses, Jacen watching him for a moment. Then his eyes flicked back to Siara. She was watching the commander closely, but not for long before she returned to paying attention to what her hands were doing. Jacen half smirked. So, she had noticed how good looking he was, even if she was going to pretend that she hadn't. True, it could just have been that she noticed movement and was watching him, but Jacen knew his twin too well by now. It was at that moment that something clicked in him. And it was in that moment that his fate was sealed.