Jacquelyn's eyelids felt heavy, her mind still just a thick fog. The events of the last few days still haunted her, keeping her up at night from the fear that she'd see what she had been shown by Envy, fear that the memories would come back to haunt her dreams, or that somehow Envy could still reach her. She was, after all, connected to the Fade in a way that wasn't properly understood. If dreams connected you to the Fade, then who knew what sort of effects that could have on Jacquelyn's dreams? Who knew what kinds of horrors could find her? She just wanted to forget, but she couldn't. And it was beginning to take its toll.

They'd fought off Envy once Jacquelyn had managed to escape from the hell it had put her in, thanks to Cole. For some reason, no one seemed to remember the boy or what he looked like. Jacquelyn, on the other hand, couldn't seem to forget. He'd helped her, though she still questioned his motives. If she hadn't been suspicious of everyone and everything before, then she certainly was now. Envy had messed up everything, had shown her things that no one should have to see. Being distrustful just seemed like the right course of action after an encounter like that one. Of everyone.

Then her eyes landed on a solitary person waiting at the entrance to Haven, the way he always seemed to when Jacquelyn was returning.

Cullen.

So maybe she didn't distrust everyone, after all. Seeing him there, alive and well, seemed to lift a weight off her shoulders. She slid from her horse when they were close enough, making straight for the commander.

"Herald, welcome back. I'm afraid that –" Jacquelyn wrapped her arms around his neck, cutting off his thought process and what he was saying. Cullen froze, and she could feel him stiffen ever so slightly, could imagine the look of confusion on his face as he looked to Varric, Cassandra, and Bull. Nothing was said, but she knew there would be some sort of communication occurring.

But she didn't care. Cullen was all right. That was all that mattered at that moment. Her grip tightened, something that she hardly noticed until Cullen hesitantly returned the gesture, not saying anything. It took a moment longer of breathing in his scent and the feel of his arms around her before she felt calm and composed enough to release him and take a step back.

"What are you afraid of?" she asked, as if nothing had just happened. Cullen took a moment longer to regain composure.

"Uh… right. Yes. I'm afraid that the Blade has not returned from dealings with the Redcliffe mages and Alexius yet," this brought another frown to Jacquelyn's face.

"Has there been any word?"

"Not yet."

"That does not sound promising. Not even from Leliana's people?"

"Not since the Blade went in to see Alexius."

"Do we have enough people to spare to conduct a rescue attempt?"

"We don't know what we would be sending our people in to. I don't know if sending a rescue party would be the wisest course of action, though I hate to admit it."

"If Spooks has gotten into trouble, we need to get her out of it," Varric sounded surprisingly protective. On second consideration, though, Jacquelyn didn't find it particularly strange at all. The mercenary and the dwarf seemed quite close, from what she could tell.

"There is no need for a rescue mission," all heads turned to where the voice had come from, surprise evident on their faces. Siara and the group she had led were approaching them, followed by a handful of mages. And something was wrong. It was obvious by Siara's expression.

"You're back," Cullen muttered, stating the obvious. "Why did you not send any word?"

"Slipped my mind," Siara dismounted, rudely shoving her way past Jacquelyn and Cullen. "And I'm done. You lot can fix this shit on your own."

She didn't say anything else, just continued on her way to wherever it was she was headed, most likely to the hut she'd seemingly taken over. Part of Jacquelyn was pleased to hear that she was planning on leaving. She couldn't help it, not after what she'd seen when dealing with Envy. The image of the Blade decapitating Cullen. Part of her couldn't help but feel like that was a warning, something telling her that she couldn't trust Siara. But she had an image to maintain. She turned to face Solas.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"I believe this is something that Lady Montilyet and Leliana should hear," he said, perfectly calmly, though there was a hint of urgency written on his face. Jacquelyn nodded.

"Cullen, Cassandra, Solas, and Dorian, with me, if you would. Varric, Blackwall, if you would be so kind as to find Leliana? We shall get Josephine on our way to the War Table, but if you would find Leliana and tell her to meet us there, it would be much appreciated."

Varric and Blackwall seemingly grudgingly agreed, Varric casting a look after where Siara had disappeared to, then they walked off to look for the spy master as Jacquelyn led everyone she'd named to the war table. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and forget her troubles for an hour or two, but, as usual, that wasn't much of an option. There were other, more important things to attend to.

Siara threw another thing in her bag. She needed out. She was done, thoughts swirling around in her head. There was too much she didn't understand, too many things she didn't know.

Too many things that left her feeling like her existence as she knew it was a lie, too many things leaving her to feel like no one she had trusted and sacrificed for was worth it.

Betrayal. That's all caring got you. Lies, deceit, and eventually death; the things that were standard in life.

There was a knock on her door, and before she could say anything, Leliana had let herself in, carrying a bow with her, not her usual one.

"What do you want?" the greeting was harsh, snapped, an edge to it saying that Siara wanted to be left alone, and anyone not leaving her alone was walking over broken glass.

"Solas and Dorian told us everything," Leliana told her, her voice soft, gentle even. "I'm sorry you had to find out about your sister that way. She was a good woman."

"She was a liar. And she left me to a fate damn near worse than death."

"She did what she had to in order to keep you safe."

"She turned her back on me!" Siara snapped around, her eyes colder than was imaginable. "She left Jacen and me, let us believe she was dead."

"Mara had no idea about what happened to you. She believed that the templars would have let you go since you're not a mage."

"I was her family! She should have looked for me, should have let her family know that she was safe, that she was alive!"

"She knew that if she did that, you and Jacen would drop everything to help her."

"Damn right, we would have."

"She didn't want to pull you into more danger."

"It was the middle of a fucking Blight! We were always in danger! At the very least we should have stayed together to look out for each other, because that's what families do."

"She wanted to tell you, wanted to contact you. But she was a warden, and with Loghain outlawing them, she wanted to keep you as safe as she could. And that meant allowing you to believe she was dead."

"Yeah, well… she's dead now, ain't she? Only Jacen and I were never told that she was the fucking Hero of Fereldan. And I only found out a few days ago from her fucking boyfriend, who just so happens to be the bloody Grey Warden King of Fereldan. You wonder why I'm so pissed?" Siara shook her head. "I need out," her voice was barely a whisper now. "It's like she's died twice. Like I only just got let in on a secret that the rest of the world knew. I'm done. I don't care what happens anymore."

She turned around, her hair falling in waves down her back and over her shoulders. Leliana watched her movements closely before walking over to the bed, placing the bow down, unstrung, next to the pack. Siara's movements stopped, her eyes resting on the weapon.

"Mara did what she had to, and she gave her life for this world, and for you and your brother. Jacen may be gone, but you're not, and this world isn't. Not yet. They would both want you to carry on, and both would want you to stay and help."

"They're both dead," Siara muttered, running her hand over the carvings on the bow before grabbing it and her pack. "They don't want anything anymore. And I'm gone."

She pushed past Leliana and left the hut, not looking back. Leliana followed her out, but then just watched her as she left Haven. Siara was more stubborn that her sister had been, and she was hurting. There was nothing that Leliana could do or say to get Siara to stay, she knew that. She doubted that anyone that was still alive could persuade the Blade to stay and help. Not when everything she knew and had known was falling to bits.