"Allie," Ava asked as Allison followed a resident into the peds cardio ward at Grey Sloan, it was her first rotation at Grey Sloan and she was unsure about it.
"Ava," Allison greeted.
"Ms Blouin," her resident scolded, "med students don't talk."
"Sorry," Allison replied.
"Dr Petrik do you know who Allison is," Ava asked, she was not a fan of the arrogant resident.
"A med student," Dr Petrik replied.
"Her maiden name is Altman-Hunt," Ava said,
"Don't you have orders to follow," Dr Petrik asked.
"Dr Petrik," Annie scolded.
"Dr Altman," Dr Petrik replied.
"Bean good day so far," Annie asked Allison.
"Bean," Dr Petrik asked.
"She's my sister," Allison replied.
"So you're on my service today," Annie said, "Allison I want you to speak up, use your voice tell me. You are coming into the OR today. Dr Petrik, are you prepared to do the valve replacement this time?"
"Yes Dr Altman," Dr Petrik replied.
"Allison take the chart and get up to speed," Annie directed, "Ava is your go to for this patient she's been incredible."
"Thank you Dr Altman," Ava smiled.
"Ava I rely on good nurses to be my eyes and ears with my patients and their families. You're efficient and good at the technical aspects but you have such a huge heart for your patients and connect well with them. I'm recommending to Dr Hayes and Dr Robbins that we send you for advanced cardiac care training and advanced peds critical care, you have the skills and the aptitude," Annie replied.
"Thank you," Ava blushed.
"Ava this is your skills," Annie replied, "not you being my baby sister's best friend. Ava you have a gift. I'm going to push you because you're good but you could be phenomenal. I want you to be phenomenal. I'm requesting you all the time. When you get moved or your patients are shuffled it's because I've gone to your supervisor and asked for you."
"I don't know what to say," Ava replied.
"Thanks Annie," Annie smiled.
"Annie," Ava asked.
"You know what my legal name is here and use it but you're Allie's best friend, Ev's godmother," Annie said, "we share a niece you can call me by my preferred nickname. Just not in front of patients."
They all went to the door of the room, "Ava, Allison I need your help."
"Dr Altman," Dr Petrik asked.
"Dr Petrik I want you to observe how to interact with little ones," Annie replied.
Annie turned into the room, "Ms Kavanagh, how's Max today."
"He's okay," Olivia replied.
"How are you doing," Annie asked, "what do you need?"
"For us to get through tomorrow," Olivia said.
"It's the third stage," Annie replied, "last one until he's 4 or 5 we'll watch him as he grows. Olivia, I do have Allie observing with me today. It is totally your call and I want you to think about it before you reply."
Olivia nodded.
"May I have Allie scrub in today," Annie asked, "can I bring her into the OR to observe Max's surgery."
Olivia paused.
"Yes," Olivia said, "Allie can go in, she's so good with him and loves him."
"Allison is just going to be observing," Annie assured, "she will not be touching Max. Dr Petrik is my resident and will be assisting."
"Can she talk to him so he doesn't feel alone," Olivia asked, "he knows her and likes her."
"We will all talk to and sing to Max," Annie assured, "Olivia I will treat him like my own. I promise we will do our very best and give him all the love we can. Do you have any questions before Ava preps him?"
"No, we went through it in your office," Olivia said.
"He's in good hands," Ava added.
"Ava can you start prepping him," Annie asked.
"Yes Dr Altman," Ava replied.
"Willson," Annie directed an intern, "you'll make sure Max is ready as well."
Allison and Dr Petrik followed Annie out of the room and Olivia asked, "how did you two get here and I'm praying to find a way to pay for the surgery?"
"I don't know," Ava said as she worked, "Mighty Max we're going to get you ready to go for surgery. I need to take your onesie off."
"What if he," Olivia started.
"We will be here," Ava said, "but I know Annie. She wouldn't go in if she wasn't confident he will come off the table."
"Why do you work with her so much," Olivia asked.
"I got hired to the peds building and placed in cardio," Ava said, "and the hospital is going to pay for my cardio advance practice certification in a year. Annie wants me on her patients she keeps having me moved. She believes in me, Liv. more than my mom or anyone else. Annie is pushing me and I take it and her pushing me and teaching me. She's mentioned me becoming a nurse practitioner one day in this field. So I can work here now and get the skills then do the courses."
"My baby," Olivia complained.
"He will do great," Ava said, "and I'm off tomorrow so I'll stay here with you tonight. Where's your mom?"
"We're fighting," Olivia said.
"Call her," Allison said, slipping back into the room, "Liv you need her. Your mom should be here. When Ev had surgeries I needed my mom. Yes Ash is amazing but I need my mom. I'm here in cardio for 2 weeks so I'll be around."
"I'm here," Ava said.
"She is the best when they're sick and fussy," Allison assured, "when Ev is really sick auntie Ava makes it better."
"I can't see him hurt," Oliva cried.
Allison hugged her friend, "I know it's hard. It sucks. It really really sucks."
"You'll stay tonight," Olivia asked.
"I can't,'' Allison replied, "I'm on my rotation until 4 then home for Ev's swimming lesson, dinner and bed time then I'm tutoring at 8:30 for an hour."
"You don't tutor," Olivia said.
"I have to," Allison replied, "I have to work somewhat. Ash is doing insane overtime, we have Ev in day camp at the rec centre for the summer, my parents are helping with drop off and pick up. I drop her off at 7 when they open and most days she's there till 4:30 or 5 when some one can pick her up. I'm lucky to get two hours a day with her right now and I hate it. But I have to work, it's not a choice."
"Why not," Ava asked.
"Because if I don't tutor and do two shifts a week Ash has to go out of town," Allison replied, "and we can't keep doing that."
"I thought," Ava said.
"But we missed the deadline for summer applications so not until September," Allison explained, "and I'm not eligible for much but it's food."
"You guys okay," Ava asked.
"We knew medical school would be hard," Allison said.
"You okay," Ava asked.
"Fine," Allison shrugged, "but I have to go find Annie."
Allison joined Annie outside the OR.
"Ready bean," Annie asked.
"I am," Allison replied, "worried about Max."
"It will go well " Annie assured, "you personally?"
"Ash and I have been having the same old argument," Allison admitted.
"Money," Annie asked.
Allison nodded.
"You're half way through medical school," Annie said, "how bad are the loans?"
"Nothing for tuition or books," Allison said, "I've used mom and dads credit card a couple times."
"Do you know how often I used her visa for groceries in med school " Annie said, "Allie what do you need? Can Josh and I help with anything?"
"We're finding food hard," Allison said, "time and money."
"I've got lots of time this weekend," Annie said, "would it help if I did a few meals for you? I wanted to do tourtiere and jambalaya this weekend. I'll bring you some. And I'm going to a conference next week so was doing some freezer meals for Josh and the kids why don't I do double batches and bring you some."
"That would help," Allison agreed, she liked Annie making them meals more then when her parents slipped her grocery money or bought food.
"Allie you don't need to be embarrassed," Annie assured, "the amount of times mama and Owen bought me food in med school."
"But I have a husband and my daughter," Allison answered.
"But you are still a med student," Annie said, "we have to remember that. We all struggled through it. There was one time in med school Stephanie Mitchell and I lived off eggs, rice and canned beans for two weeks. Then Owen came to visit and arrived with a lot of food once he figured it out that we weren't eating well. He showed up with an entire kitchen worth of food and his gift cards to the grocery store around our kitchen."
"But it's not independent," Allison complained.
"It's not and I remember it feels like crap," Annie said, "Allie I've been there, Josh and he struggled more than I did. I had more parental support."
"Where are his parents," Allison asked.
"Ian his dad passed when Ellie was 3 or 4," Annie said, "I was expecting Matt. Then Gloria is alive but we're no contact. They had no money Allie. Nathan helped where and when he could. And mama helped me out so I didn't starve. She fed me when times were tight. Accept it. Then one day you'll be in a position to help someone else and pay it forward. It's what we do for family. I hated accepting it and got embarrassed but looking back it's what I needed."
"It's harder for me than Leo," Allison said, "I feel like because I'm married and have Everly I have to be more independent."
"I understand that," Annie replied, "but you are still a med student. Is Asher pressuring you?"
"A little," Allison admitted, "he's tired of our suite and feeling dependent on mom and dad."
"I understand that," Annie agreed, "You're 24. You want to be out on your own and independent. You'll finish med school at 26 you're on track."
"You were 24," Allison pointed out.
"But it was the year I turned 25," Annie replied, "you and Leo were smarter than I was and did undergrad in 4 instead of killing yourselves to do it in 3."
"You were hiding from your mom," Allison said.
"And Jessica," Annie replied, "more Jessica. Leo took 5."
"So I'm the average sibling," Allison groaned.
"No comparing," Annie replied, "what I did would never be allowed now. But we should scrub. Bean let us help. Josh and I have had help as adults?"
"Like this," Allison asked.
"Not the same way but we've had lots of family support in other ways," Annie replied, "with our kids when I was really struggling and nearly needed to be hospitalised, when they threatened me with a feeding tube."
"When," Allison asked.
"When did my kids live with you for a month," Annie asked.
"Henry was about 2," Allison said.
"Ya," Annie replied, "I was starving myself."
"Why do you do it," Allison asked.
"I have a very strong physical reaction to psychological stress," Annie said, "it's a trauma response. I have it under control right now. When I am under a lot of stress it doesn't help if people bug me to eat. I physically can't. I want to but I can't because my stomach gets really upset and it's painful. I am aware of it and have support in place."
"So this," Allison asked, "your job?"
"No my work doesn't affect me like that," Annie said, "sometimes it gets to me when I lose a patient and there was know way to foresee it."
"Today," Allison asked.
"Max will do well," Annie assured, "I pushed it back because he wasn't but I'm positive."
Annie finished scrubbing and lead the way into the OR.
"Hey Max," Annie smiled, "you ready little man."
The anesthesiologist began the medications and Annie began to sing to him Allison joined in with her sister.
Teddy sat in the gallery looking into the OR.
"Hey," Megan smiled, taking a seat beside Teddy, "what are you watching?"
"My girls," Teddy smiled, "look at them."
"Teddy we've watched Annie operate for 24 years," Megan replied.
"But together," Teddy sighed, "Allie as Annie's student."
"I know," Megan agreed.
"Meg I never could have imagined this," Teddy said.
"Feeling nostalgic today," Megan asked.
"A bit," Teddy admitted.
"It was 25 years ago I found out I was pregnant with Allison," Teddy said, "Annie had just graduated from Harvard."
"Tell me Teddy," Megan said.
"I've told you," Teddy said, "I had been home from a whirlwind trip to see Annie for a week or so and felt just awful. I was nauseous and nothing I did helped, I was slow and things hurt that hadn't hurt in 25 years. I remember sitting in my living room and thinking it was one of two things. Either I was getting old or I was pregnant. But it was so similar to when I had Annie."
"Then," Megan asked.
"I took the test alone again," Teddy said, "and I froze. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. I knew I had to tell him but we had fought and I was scared it would be like Annie."
"What got you moving," Megan asked.
"You," Teddy admitted, "as soon as I knew you were on your way to Seattle I booked a flight to land 24 hours after you did."
"How did you," Megan asked.
"My daughter," Teddy replied, "I could go to Annie, they wouldn't question it if I said she needed me, they knew I was a single mom at the time. So I said Annie needed me urgently."
"You lied," Megan asked.
"No I knew she would need me," Teddy said, "I knew she would get assigned to you that Owen would demand it. I knew she had been working with him and in the pit a lot. I knew he sat through her intern appy and texted me the play by play of her surgery. And then she called me after crying because she made a mistake."
"And," Megan said.
"I calmed her down told her what Owen told me," Teddy said, "he sent me pictures of her in there for the first time like that. And I knew I told Allison what her big sister was doing."
"You told the baby," Megan said.
"I talked to both girls when I was alone," Teddy said, "I would play with them and talk to them."
"I wish I could have," Megan said, "I wish I could have. I wanted to. We tried."
"Megan," Teddy sighed, "you never said."
"We tried for about 3 years before we decided to adopt," Megan said, "we gave up about a week before Annie let us all find that ultrasound of Ellie."
"Megan," Teddy sighed, "why didn't you tell me then?"
"You were so happy," Megan said, "you were going to be a grandma and were over the moon about it. I didn't want to take away your joy."
"I still would have been there for you," Teddy said.
"But your girls," Megan said, 'do you think we'll ever see my two?"
"Is Cat," Teddy asked.
"She's started prepping for her MCAT,' Megan said, "she's brilliant and is on the Annie path. She'll catch up to Ellie."
"I'd rather she wait," Teddy replied, "I saw Annie rush and miss out and it really contributed to her eating disorder."
"We'll watch but Cat wants it she's got a full load of online summer classes," Megan said, "she wants it and I can't stand in her way,"
"I know," Teddy said, "but caution."
"I will," Megan assured, "I want to see mine work together. She wants medicine but isn't sure what speciality. She'll pick when she's ready."
"I tell mine the same," Teddy replied, "go try it all but there's a bias."
"Ya," Megan agreed, "are you okay?"
"I like seeing this," Teddy said, "I wish Leo was here with them that they could be together."
Scrubbing out Annie met with Ava quietly.
"I know we usually don't have the families on watch," Annie said, "but I think we need to watch Olivia Kavanagh. Anything comes up anything that looks unstable or concerning I want psych called for her."
"Dr Altman," Ava asked.
"Ava you know her and you care about her," Annie said, "I'm asking you to monitor her as much as you monitor him. I'm asking the whole team but I know this is personal for you. Your biggest gift is how intune you are with your patients and their family. I'm asking you to be a friend here. To love Olivia the way you always show up for Allie and Ev. she's lost and alone. She pushed everyone away and she's alone. Her mom isn't even here."
"Amanda is," Ava said, "I overstepped and called. I know it crossed the line and I know it violates protocol and I'm willing to take the consequences of that."
"Before I escalate it," Annie said, 'two questions."
"Okay," Ava said.
"What did you use to call Amanda," Annie asked.
"I used my own phone not a hospital one," Ava said.
"How did you get the number," Annie questioned.
"I used the house number I've had since middle school," Ava replied.
"Was it done on hospital time," Annie pressed.
"On my lunch break," Ava assured, "my 45 I was off the clock and walked across the street to call. It was fully on my own time."
"Okay," Annie said, "I can't escalate it. You did it as a friend and on your own time. Ava you made the right call. Is Amanda here?"
"She's coming," Ava assured, "I haven't seen her yet."
"Keep an eye on her and use any and all of our wrap around supports for families," Annie pushed, "Ava she's on the edge and I worry she might do something rash."
"I saw self harm scars," Ava said.
"Keep an eye on her," Annie said, "thank you. Ava I know it's a lot to ask."
"No I can't leave her," Ava said, "the parents are my patients as much as the child."
"I know," Annie said, "I feel the same. You have to love the family. Ava you are good at this. I know you can do it."
"Thank you," Ava blushed.
"Ava you've got this," Annie smiled.
That night Allison walked slowly into the basement suite.
"Long day," Asher asked.
"Max," Allison said, "Annie had his heart open and I watched. And my heart broke for him and Liv. she was all alone."
"Thats tough," Asher agreed, "Allie is that what you want?"
"I want to be a surgeon," Allison assured, "I don't know if I want peds after seeing it like that today. I don't know how to tell another parent bad news about their baby."
"She'll be okay," Asher said, "is Max doing okay?"
"So far so good," Allison replied, "he's stable."
"What do you need," Asher asked.
"Can you just hold me," Allison asked.
"I can," Asher replied, wrapping her in a hug.
"Mommy," Everly smiled.
"Hi baby," Allison said going to hug her daughter.
"Are you sad," Everly asked.
"Just tired baby," Allison said hugging Everly again.
"You're squishing me," Everly whined.
"Sorry baby," Allison said, "what are you playing?"
"Can we have playdough," Everly asked.
"We can get the playdough out," Allison agreed, "clean up your Polly Pockets and I'll get the playdough."
"Pizza," Asher suggested.
"Sure," Allison shrugged.
"Please," Everly said, "pepperoni?"
"We can have pepperoni," Asher agreed, "Allie?"
"No olives and no mushrooms," Allison said, "small pepperoni for Ev and then what ever for us."
"Not hungry," Allison said.
"Stressed or tired," Asher asked.
"Both," Allison replied, "and I'm not tutoring the kid wants to go out instead. But at least going through the tutoring service they have to pay me because it was less than 24 hours notice."
"So you still get paid," Asher asked.
"I do," Allison replied, "free money."
"Yep," Asher agreed, "tonight?"
"Family night," Allison smiled, "pizza, go for a swim and a movie."
"Sounds perfect," Asher agreed, "what about you Ev? Pizza, swimming and a movie?"
"Can we have popcorn," Everly asked.
"You can," Allison agreed.
"Okay I'm ordering pizza," Asher said, "all meat Allie?"
"Sure," Allison agreed, "I'll cut up some veggies."
"Okay," Asher agreed.
"What veggies do you want Ev," Allison asked.
"Peppers and cucumber," Everly said.
"Come help me," Allison said.
"Playdough," Everly whined.
"A few minutes," Allison agreed continuing to roll balls of playdough. She realised she had made the red playdough into a model of the human heart.
"Mommy what is that," Everly asked.
"It's a heart," Allison replied, "like the one in your chest. The blood comes into the heart from the body here, and this part pushes it out to the lungs. Then it comes back from the lungs here and this big part here pushes all the blood to your whole body."
"Wow," Everly said.
"It's pretty cool," Allison said, "I'm still learning about it. Grandma and auntie Annie are the experts."
"Can we show grandma," Everly asked.
"She's not home," Allison said, "her car and grandpa's truck are gone."
"Where did they go," Everly asked.
"I don't know," Allison replied, "out I guess she left the hospital before I did."
"Can we say good night," Everly asked.
"If they're home we will we always do," Allison assured, "they like saying good night to you."
"It would be weird not to," Everly said.
"I know we have almost every night of your life," Allison said, "they love you."
"I love you," Everly smiled at Allison.
"I love you too," Allison beamed at her daughter.