A/N: Hello again, everyone! I'm still taking it one day at a time, but I'm hanging in there again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds (but I wished I did). No copyright infringement is intended.

I've decided to skip Anonymous (it'll still be mentioned) and go straight to Nelson's Sparrow, meaning…

Reader's discretion (and spoiler alert): mentions of death (of a major (former) character)...

Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote, "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." Yes, death is a part of life. Experience loss is a part of life. It can be overwhelming, maybe riddled with guilt and regret. There are some things one wishes to be said or things one wants to have done. Among them are unfulfilled promises. This is one of them.

Spencer felt like this mindless zombie having an inside-out experience or this unfeeling ghost outside its body overlooking its cadaver. A dark wave of dread came upon him. He was at home when he was woken up (sleeping, of course) to possibly the worst phone call he'd ever got—it was right up there with Élise leaving that voicemail message. He couldn't even get a word out to Élise and instead just started crying to her before she finally got the truth out of him.

He's been driving for the past few hours. He didn't really care to know how long he'd been going. It's been snowing lightly, but yesterday's light rain made the roads slushy and slippery. It's been a while since he drove his Volvo Amazon P130. People don't really see those kinds of cars much these days. It was the same; it had the same grille but a different license plate and made more of a "pearl white" color instead of blue.

Turning off his car's headlights, he really didn't want to have to believe it. That sickness came to him again. Every step he took until he got inside the wooden cabin crushed him. And reality struck him; it stood over him in the face. The team had the same expression he was having—somber, surprise. Sadness.

Garcia's quiet, rasped words broke the silence. "Are you sure?"

"It's Gideon." Hotch declared to everyone.

Spencer sniffled again. He turned around and walked away. He didn't care if Morgan followed after him, nor did he care for his comfort.

He just couldn't believe that his mentor was gone.

Rose got the kids' and Opal their breakfast while Élise silently poured herself a cup of freshly brewed Brazilian coffee. After Spencer told her, Jason Gideon, his mentor, who acted more of a fatherly figure to him, was dead. Worse than that—murdered.

Élise heard her work phone chime on the granite countertops. She picked it up after the third chime and answered him, having it pressed to her ear. "Director."

The FBI Director Logan McAllen was on the line; Jack Fickler retired in early September of 2013. "Have you heard?"

"Yes, Director, I am aware," she excused herself out of the room so the children wouldn't hear her. "In a few hours, I'll be holding a press conference about Jason Gideon's passing."

"The team is already at the crime scene, yes?" asked the Director.

Élise finished up her coffee. "From my understanding, yes, Director. And it's a top-level priority case. I'll be at headquarters in a few hours." She hung up and massaged her temple. When she returned to the nook, Opal whimpered and cuddled her legs.

Morgan finally caught up with Spencer and allowed him to wallow in his grief, comforting him with his words and brotherly hugs. He may not have been as close to Gideon as Spencer was, but he knew how much the late profiler meant to him.

Morgan (along with Hotch and Rossi outside the porch) watched how the medical techs led Gideon's covered corpse into the black van before the two followed them back to headquarters in the black Suburban. It was still so much to marinate and process.

Spencer stayed silent for the entire ride back, even when they got to Dr. Weiss, and she gave them the details of his death.

Gideon suffered from hypovolemic shock due to the ballistic trauma of being shot three times. It was seemingly good news that he didn't suffer, but now Spencer was still suffering. But Morgan knew it was now to never find the son of a bitch who murdered Gideon and bring him to justice.

He and Morgan made it back to his cabin. When they got out of the Suburban, they saw more techs, police officers, and Hotch and Rossi talking to a Caucasian male with neat brown hair, dark brown eyes, a short boxed beard, and dressed in a wool field jacket, dark straight pants, and lace boots.

"Stephen…"

Morgan made a slightly confused grimace. "Who...?" Spencer cocked his head in the direction he was looking at when Morgan finally made the connection. "Gideon's son…you wanna…?"

"No," Spencer answered bluntly. "After we find his father's murderer."

Morgan agreed, and they headed back inside the cabin, but not before making a quick acknowledgment to Stephen. Kate, JJ, and Garcia were inside, as well. This was one of those times Garcia was working slower than usual. Even just being in his cabin felt like a bad nightmare, yet Spencer was wide awake. Something caught his eye, and it was a small journal. He peaked inside, and there was a picture of a Caucasian woman with dark brown hair and eyes. Sarah Jacobs—Gideon's first love. Blue ink inscribed May 14th, 2007.

Spencer recognized that date as the date of Sarah's murder. The letter Gideon left him before he left. His eidetic memory could never let him forget the words.

"…I just don't understand any of it anymore. I'm just looking for it again, for the belief I had back in college, the belief I had when I first met Sarah, and it all seemed so right."

Her murder was one of the main factors in Gideon leaving the BAU behind.

Spencer went back outside again; he needed some time again to clear his head.

"That's enough TV for now, Isaac," Rose turned off the television in the living room, making Isaac groan a bit. Opal was in the corner, still taking a nap. "How about we read a little bit, and then we make lunch for the three of us, yeah?"

"Cool-y!" Isaac was scooped off from the couch by Rose when her phone peeled. She guided him to the kids' size bookshelf for him to pick out a book to read before she answered.

"Hello?" she spoke in hush tones.

"Rose? It's me," Élise was on the phone. "Have you heard from Spencer?"

Rose answered truthfully. "Nothing yet, sorry. And I'm sorry to hear about Gideon. I worked with him a few times, and I'll admit, he was eccentric in his own way, but he was very much such a passionate man."

"Yeah, that's what I heard about him," Élise huffed a small blow of air. "It's not easy on Spencer right now."

Spencer sat in the front passenger seat. Still numbed about Gideon. Now, it was bringing back the memories he had with him. If only he had seen him again. Or at least check up on him and maybe see if he wanted to play a great game of chess with him. He was one of those people who really wanted and got Spencer to "think outside the box", even outside profiling. Now, those hopes and dreams were empty to Spencer.

"I'm sorry about Harrison," Spencer knew Rossi had suffered a recent loss in his personal life.

Rossi sighed. "Time will pass, and slowly, you'll forget how much it hurts. Then maybe you'll find something else to…fill that empty space."

Spencer silently agreed.

They found themselves in the building where it all started. According to Rossi, it still had that same smell, the same 1970s-80s computer equipment, and the earliest case files from that same era. Rossi and Spencer talked to the mother of the victim and discovered Gideon still had the picture of her daughter. The team realized that Gideon conducted his own independent investigation when he realized the killer from 1978 was back and hoped to lure him out.

"Mommy!" Séraphine saw her mother waiting to pick her up.

Élise snuggled her daughter. "How was Sparkle Science?"

"It went great," Séraphine said as she massaged her beaded braids. "Where's Daddy?"

Élise stroked a part of her face. "Daddy's still at work. He has a lot going on with him right now, so… let's go easy on him, okay?"

Donald Allen "Donnie" Mallick. A name that will now never be forgotten by the BAU team. All this time…all these years…the one from Gideon and Rossi never caught from their earliest cases…was the one who was the killer this whole time.

And Gideon's murderer.

At least Rossi was able to avenge himself and his victims and save his last victim. Deep down, no one was interested in taking him alive. But still, even the victory left a poignant taste in everyone's mouth.

Already early morning, Gideon's son Stephen was still at the cabin when the team arrived back. Spencer wanted to do the honors of handing him his father's rings, which Donnie Mallick took as trophies. Stephen wordlessly appreciated the gesture, and the two had a manly hug.

Stephen took an interest in Spencer's own rings on his finger. "You married?"

"It'll be five years this year," Spencer replied. "And we have two small kids."

Stephen squinted. "You all were lucky you got to spend so much time with my dad. He even said you were his family. And yet, growing up, he was gone so much, sometimes I wondered if he regretted having me. At least I got to reconcile with him as much as I could now."

"Give us a call if you need anything, okay?"

Stephen gave him another smirk before the two parted ways; Spencer went back inside the cabin. He saw his younger self finding Gideon's letter on his desk and reading it. Spencer felt something slap his back.

"Ready to go?" asked Morgan.

"Yeah," Spencer was more than ever ready to go. "At least now Gideon can rest in peace."

Morgan slapped his shoulders twice, agreeing with him.

The team agreed to return to headquarters. No one spoke the entire ride back—it still hasn't felt the same. Stepping off the elevator and walking straight into the bullpen, the team was greeted by familiar faces from over the years in the bullpen. Among them were former profiler Katherine Cole from the FBI's Crimes Against Children Unit, a teenage Tracy Belle, and Wally Brisbane from the Eddie Mays case. In front of them was a distinguished Caucasian man in his mid-sixties with graying hair and gray eyes.

"Get outta here," Rossi couldn't believe it. "Max Ryan…"

Max opened his arms out. "The one and only. I heard about Gideon." He first hugged Rossi and whispered in his ears. "Please tell me you took out that son of a bitch."

"You bet I did…" Rossi pulled out and smacked his old friend's upper arms. Max had his eyes set on Spencer, up and downing him. "Ahh, look at you. Last time I saw you ten years ago, you looked from a prep school boy to an upstanding G-man."

"That's exactly what I say all the time," Morgan pinched Spencer's cheek before the latter slapped it away.

Spencer politely corrected him. "Nine years ago, actually, sir."

"Still got that eidetic memory, I see…"

Everyone turned their heads when they heard the double glass doors open.

"Elle…"

"Prentiss…"

Garcia was the first to give them hugs. She was in desperate need of more hugs. "Ooh, you came. The angels have called us nonstop…"

"We wanted to pay our respects to Gideon," Prentiss mentioned and sniffled.

Elle folded her arms. "I can't believe he's gone…"

"At least now he can rest in peace." Spencer breathed; everyone agreed.

Gideon's death reminded Spencer and Élise that anything could happen at any moment. He and Élise knew this was the time to have one of these kinds of talks to prepare their children. While Rose prepared dinner, Spencer and Élise got the children to sit at the dining room table.

"Hey, uh…" Spencer wiped his red eyes. "So…Mommy and I wanted to talk to you two about something very important."

Isaac innocently shrugged his shoulders. "Like what?"

"Death."

"What's that?"

Élise inhaled and exhaled a small puff of air. No sugar-coating, but be gentle, she reminded herself. "Death is when someone is…when someone is…dead...meaning they are no longer alive...like we are alive right now."

"Like we are breathing and moving now?" Séraphine raised her hand and asked; Élise silently nodded, 'Yes.'

"You mean they can't wake up ever again?" Isaac asked simply.

Spencer shook his head. "No, little man. No kiss can wake them up…nor can any magic ever wake them up…nor can they be fixed."

"So, they're asleep forever?"

Spencer and Élise had their hands over each other on the table and shook their heads again.

"Is that why you've been crying, Daddy?" Séraphine asked as she watched Spencer dusting his eyes from more tears. "Mommy told me you're going through something."

"Yeah," Spencer swallowed a gulp. "Someone I used to work with…died. And he was important to him. Help made me who I am now."

Séraphine was the first to hop from her seat and hug him, followed by Isaac, Élise, and Opal, who strolled in and cuddled his leg.