This is the 8th chapter. I don't own the series of Helluva Boss.
Warning: This story contains violence, strong language, sexual themes, blood and gore, horny demons...and yes, it's for mature audiences. Viewer discretion advised.
C.H.E.R.U.B.
This scene opens up to a shot of Heaven's golden gates. The gates open and 'Cherub Towne' is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.
Cletus has an angelic glow and wings with his outlines being purple. He looks most human though, not having fur or hooves for feet. He has circles as his blush. His eyes are large, and light purple in color. He possesses a halo. His overalls, matching his light ginger hair, are an orange with a mix of pinkish red with two silver buttons. Under the overalls he wears a light baby yellow shirt with a white collar. His eyebrows are darker purple, but still light.
"Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven!" Cletus announces. "Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!"
The Cherubs begin singing the C.H.E.R.U.B. Jingle.
Cuts to a man jumping out of an airplane. He pulls the ripcord to release his parachute, only for it to snap off instead. He splats into a rock while a censoring cloud bubble reads 'OWIE!'
Collin (Sings):
Does it make you want to cry?
Cuts to another person getting run over by a speeding train from a tunnel as 'OH NO!' appears in a censor cloud.
Keenie (Sings):
When your loved one has to die?
Scene goes to another man who accidentally shoot himself in the face with a double-barrel shotgun. 'OOPSIE!' is seen in another censor cloud.
Cletus (Sings):
Does it hurt you through and through?
Clip shows a struggling man's face turning blue in a hangman's noose. A stylized version of Cletus's head fades into view with a sad face and a tear running down his cheek.
C.H.E.R.U.B. (Sings):
When you face is turnin' bluuuuue?
Collin (Sings):
Well, luckily for you...
Collin resembles an anthropomorphic sheep. He has a white halo that hovers over his head and has wings on his back. His skin and eyes are periwinkle, and he wears a white bow tie around his neck.
Keenie (Sings):
There's something we can do!
Keenie has the form of a small anthropomorphic sheep with light yellow fur, along with a white halo, pale yellow wings, and a two pink hearts for her hooves. Her eyes have purple pupils with pink irises, and she wears a yellow dress with a pink hem and a bow. She also wears some white gloves and frilly leggings.
Cletus (Sings):
We can keep them alive
C.H.E.R.U.B. (Sings):
So, you can watch them thrive!
All three pose together.
The orange C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears with a registered trademark symbol. The letters appear as they sung.
C.H.E.R.U.B. (Sings):
'Cause here at C.H.E...R.U.B.!
Cletus rescues a woman from a pack of wild animals. Keenie pushes a scared Collin in front of them, as he holds a plank of wood with a nail on it.
Collin (Sings):
We'll save your honeybun from dying violently
The C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears again.
C.H.E.R.U.B. (Sings):
'Cause here at C.H.E...R.U.B.!
Cletus is shown waving a dismissive hand at a person handing him a handful of dollar bills.
Keenie (Sings):
No, we never ask a fee!
Collin and Keenie give each other a hug in a yellow heart background.
Collin (Sings):
Because good people spread the love
Small hearts of light spread out around a spinning Earth in space.
Keenie (Sings):
And we're here for all above!
A stressed Collin rapidly writes on piles of paperwork in an office.
Collin (Sings):
We do the paperwork for you
Keenie lifts a boulder from a woman trapped under and flattened by a boulder, who gives her thumbs up.
Collin (Sings):
And the heavy liftin', too!
The three Cherubs comfort a horribly wounded man after the car crash. He is bleeding profusely from a neck wound.
Cletus (Sings):
So sit right back
The three Cherubs appear back on the screen and sing in harmony. They pose some more.
C.H.E.R.U.B. (Sings):
And let us bless a soooul for you!
Oh, we...are the C.H.E.R.U.B!
The Cherubs appear on a small, old-fashioned TV screen which zooms out onto the I.M.P. HQ. Blitzo blasts the TV with his flintlock pistol, and it explodes.
"Nice one, B!" Millie praises him.
"Gimme another, Mox." Blitzo said in a bored tone.
Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears. Blitzo pours gunpowder into his flintlock.
"Eh, nah. Not feelin' it." Blitzo told him. "Next!"
Moxxie switches a channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black in white, dancing erotically with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Moxxie flinches in anticipation. Blitzo look bored while Millie covered Antauri's eyes.
"Hey! What gives?" Antauri complains.
"Sorry, sweetie, that show isn't for you to watch." Millie told him sweetly.
"Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'..." Blitzo said.
Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.
"I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?" Wally Wackford questions with a smirk.
Wally whacks his cane on the wall at either side of him, producing the graphics for 'CRAZY CONTRAPTIONS' and 'GOOFY GADGETS' as he speaks.
"WELL, call me a Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory." Wally Wackford announces.
The 'Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory' title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons. The panel with the title then falls over forwards.
"Where you make the things and I make the money!" Wally Wackford continues as he moves close to the screen with a pleading look. "Please! I'm very desperate!"
"Bingo!" Blitzo said with a smirk as he shoots and explodes the TV again, scattering debris.
"WOO! You're on a roll, sir!" Millie cheered.
"How many TV's do we have?" Antauri asks.
"Don't ask." Blitzo answered quickly.
The scene pans over to Loona, who snores and drools while sleeping in a chair. She has one foot up on the table that twitches in her sleep. A plastic cup with her name written on it and filled with water sits on the table next to her foot. She is awoken by a rumbling which also knocks her cup over, spilling its contents.
"Guys...do you feel that?" Loona asks with worry.
"Oh shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blizto questions with a glare, stood up from his chair.
"That's possible?" Moxxie guessed.
"Could be." Antauri adds.
"Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie shouts.
Moxxie's tail stiffens from being startled by Millie's sudden outburst. She then grabs his arms in an attempt to 'calm' him.
"I'm not panicking." Moxxie told her with a blank expression, holds up finger quotes. "Because hellquakes don't happen."
Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him.
"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL FATTY!?" Loona yelled as she slaps Moxxie in the face.
Moxxie was sent flying against the wall and slightly dazed. He is then knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball made of black tubes. Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie, crushing him. As dust clears, the wrecking ball untangles into multiple robotic tentacles and a supervillain-esque demon uses two of them to hoist himself into the room through the hole, covering himself with his cape. Both Loona and Antauri growls while on all fours.
A demon named Loopty Goopty is a fairly tall demon that primarily has a red color scheme, with lighter red face, along with darker red horns and nose, which is prominently long, and a black handlebar mustache. He wears a black top hat with neon green band on his head and a pair of acid green goggles with dark green swirls in the lenses and a black strap on his face. His outfit consists of a black jumpsuit with a bright green neck piece, along with a bright green curve shape on his chest and stomach that reaches the groin, resembling that of a question mark. He also wears red gloves on his hands, bright green boots, and a blood-red cape. He also has several black mechanical tentacles with red outlines that can extend and retract out of his back.
"Do not be afraid!" Loopty Goopty said with a grin, extends his robotic tentacles.
"Please tell me you got that insurance thing." Blitzo said.
"Do you even know what insurance is?" Antauri inquires, raise his eyebrow.
"No." Blitzo quickly answers as Millie takes out her black axe.
"Who are you, and what do you want?!" Millie demands with a scowl.
Loopty Goopty extends a tentacle into a loop-de-loop and slides along it to the other side of the room.
"I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loop and loopiiiiiish!" Loopty Goopty introduces himself with a singing voice.
"Coulda just used the door, dude." Loona told him.
"Yeah, this doesn't need to be this whole thing." Antauri agrees.
"I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!" Loopty Goopty points out, does a wavy dance.
Blitzo sniffs him and flinches.
"Ugh! this old fuck reeks of the living world." Blitzo grunts, earned his attention. "Did you just die?"
"YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact!" Loopty Goopty answered with a grin, but shrugs. "Which is what brought me HEEEERE!"
"Just sayin'...the front door would've gotten you here fine." Loona said in annoyance, taps on her phone.
"And you better pay the wall you just broke." Antauri adds with a warning.
"Shut up, dear furries." Loopty Goopty remarked, causing both of the hellhounds to growl angrily as he appears in front of the two and turns to Blitzo. "This is the man I'm gonna need you to kiiiill!"
He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Blitzo takes the photo from him.
An old man named Lyle Lipton has a nose and head that underwent rather massive growths easily doubling in size. His mustache is light grey. He wore a pale blue shirt and a diaper.
"Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge." Blitzo muttered, turns to Loopty Goopty with a smile. "I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitz, the 'O' is silent."
Both Loona and Antauri walked away as Blitzo walks over to Loopty and shakes his hand.
"What 'o'?" Loopty Goopty repeats in confusion.
"Aww, thank you." Blitzo thanked him, shakes his hips. "Now, what's the tea, sis?"
"The TEAAAA?!" Loopty Goopty exclaims, even more confused.
Moxxie's arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris.
"Guy, help!" Moxxie grunts in pain.
"Yeah, why are we killin' this guy?" Blitzo asks, elbows Loopty. "I mean, what did he do to you?"
Moxxie's arm inches back and he squeals in pain.
"LOSING...OX-!"
"Hold on, Moxxie, I'll get you." Antauri said as he began try to move as many debris as possible.
"He was...my business partner! You see, I was not always an old man!" Loopty Goopty told him as he began to explain about himself, his partner, and how he died.
An old film montage in brown shades depict Loopty's early life.
"My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, and technological empire!"
Lyle and Loopty pose with capes and spiral glasses on top of a tall building labled 'Lyle-Loopty Robotics'. The building is surrounded by factories and columns spewing smoke. A line of text fades into view at the bottom of the screen reads: 'very dramatic re-enactment from earlier that day', with a question mark at the end joing it seconds after.
"Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop, or reverse, the aging process!"
The scene shows Loopty putting wires together and Lyle tightening a bolt with a wrench. The two stand by a large white machine that labeled 'De-age-ifier'. Loopty is briefly seen slapping Lyle on the ass.
"It could've saved all three trillionaires!"
Cuts to the interior of the De-age-ifier machine. The handle twists and door swings open. Cuts back to Lyle and Loopty. Lyle puts on his goggles and the two step into the machine.
"Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure for our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD!"
The two men stroll into the chamber and close the metal door. A lever next to the door labeled 'YOUNG' and 'OLD' is set to 'OLD' at the bottom.
"By the time we managed to get out...it was too late! At least...for me!"
The two men struggle to open the door, pounding on it. Both of them rapidly shrivel up and age. Loopty stares in horror at his shriveling hands. Lyle grows old and fat and slides to the floor. Loopty clutches his chest as he suffers a heart attack, then fells dead to the ground, his legs twitching. A man opens the door, sees the two men, and motions for doctors to come in. They put a stethoscope over Loopty's heart, and they shake their somberly. A woman puts an oxygen mask over Lyle's nose and mouth. Loopty's body is zipped shut in a body bag.
"Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire...and get ALL the credit!"
Scene cuts to Lyle laughing evilly as piles of money rain down on him.
"Ehhh, that's not really evil." Blitzo told him blankly.
"It's evil towards meeee!" Loopty Goopty remarked, turns to him as he points himself.
Cuts to Moxxie, still stuck under the rubble. He weakly reaches his hand out for help while Antauri uses the sledgehammer to smash the debris.
"Everything...is going...dark-"
Antauri then smash the debris and pulls Moxxie out.
"Thanks." Moxxie thanked him.
"Now, get your crimson asses up above and that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!" Loopty Goopty suggested, points his finger at the living world.
"Eh, y-y-y- You do know, Poopty-"
"Looooptyyyy!" Loopty seethes angrily, corrects him with his eyes glowing as Blitzo holds his hands up defensively.
"Of course!" Blitzo said nervously, sweating bullets. "Of course...If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here...y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever."
"Oh, trust me..."
Loopty Goopty summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and a circular saw blade.
"...I'm counting on it." Loopty Goopty said with a sinister smirk.
"That's kinda hot!" Mozzie said with a thumbs up, leaned by Antauri which everyone glances at him.
Scene cuts to the I.M.P. crew wearing wigs disguises while Antauri is in his human form on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle's mansion.
"Gee! I wonder whose house this is?" Moxxie asks sarcastically.
"And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!" The tour guide informed them.
The crowd 'oohs' and take pictures with their cellphones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig.
"Let's do it, gang!" Blitzo said with a smirk.
All three Imps and a white hellhound pull out their weapons: Blitzo a flintlock pistol, Moxxie an assault rifle, Millie two sharp swords, and Antauri two brass knuckles. The Imps and a white hellhound jumps over a fence and land in poses.
"Let's kill this rich guy!" Millie said with a smirk.
"Glady." Antauri replied with smirk of his own.
The Imps and a white hellhound race over towards the window.
"And here you'll find four tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder!" The tour guide informed them. "Things like this could happen to famous people all the time."
The crowd snap pictures.
Blitzo, Millie, and Antauri dash over to the window while Moxxie slides on his back. Moxxie peers through the window, joined by the sock puppet cat on Blitzo's tail.
"Wow..." Moxxie said as Millie, Blitzo, and Antauri joins him in looking through the window.
Cuts to the interior of the room. Lyle Lipton is lying on his bed, an IV bag attached to him. A heart rate monitor sits on a shelf next to the IV bag. A TV screen and video player sit at the other side of his bed, connected to the bed itself. Lyle is holding a framed picture in his hands, looking at it sadly.
"That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie states.
Zooming in, Lyle kisses the picture, his hands trembling.
"Goodbye...my one true love." Lyle muttered sadly.
Lyle runs a finger down the picture lovingly. The picture in the frame is shown to consist of stock image of dollar bills with a 'FREE STOCK PHOTOS' watermark over it. Lyle then puts the frame down and grabs the tube from the IV bag and begins tying it.
"All the riches in the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything a value." Lyle said to himself.
"Oh, fantastic!" Blitzo said with a smile. "He's gonna do our job for us!"
Lyle finishes making a noose out of the tube, pulling the knot tight.
"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Moxxie asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Nah, he got it covered." Antauri told him.
Lyle is about to put the makeshift noose over his head as the Imps and the white hellhound watch with drinks and popcorn. The noose glows white and a concussive force knocks the imps and the white hellhound back. Blitzo's cat sock is blown away by the blast, making him sad. Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the three Cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light.
"Oh lord, I'm being haunted by ugly orphaned children!" Lyle exclaims.
"Who the fuck are they?" Blitzo questions, turns to the mansion with a scowl.
Antauri shook the daze out of his head, turns to the mansion with an angry glare.
"Oh no!" Moxxie exclaims in shock. "Sir, those are..."
"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" Cletus told him with a smile.
"I hate filthy, stinking orphan children!" Lyle grumbled.
"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir." Collin informed him. "To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven...benefited by your amazing...technological advances."
"Oh, HEEEELL no!" Blitzo snarled angrily.
Blitzo rolls up his sleeve, hoisting his flintlock pistol at the same time. He then marches in through the window, smashing the glass instantly.
"Don't listen-"
Misjudging where the floor is in relation to the window, Blitzo face-plants onto the floor, multiple glass shards sticking out of him. Moxxie and Antauri enters through the door to the side, Millie peeking in. Antauri laughs hysterically.
"Lyle Lipton, it is our-"
Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at Lyle.
"...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die." Moxxie finishes his sentence.
"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old...and gross?" Millie asks in disgust.
"And stink." Antauri adds, stop laughing.
The Cherubs noticed the white hellhound next to the imps.
"You must be Antauri?" Cletus inquires.
"So, what if I am?" Antauri questions back with a glare.
"As you can see, we're Cherubs. I'm Cletus." Cletus introduces himself. "This is Collin."
"Hello, sir." Collin greets him, but Antauri kept his guard.
"And this is Keenie." Cletus said, but turned towards her. "Um, Keenie, are you alright?"
"Um y-yeah...I-I'm ok." Keenie told him, turns to the white hellhound with a blush. 'Oh my gosh, how could he be so cute?!'
"Anyway, we would like to give you a chance to be redeemed to a better place, a place where all good souls are at." Cletus offers. "So, what do you say? Will you forget these monsters and come with us?"
Antauri froze with his eyes widen, didn't like the idea of leaving the three imps and Loona. Of course, they took care of him after his parents death by the hands of the big game hunter. Regaining his composure as he spoke.
"No." Antauri told them, leaving the Cherubs shocked.
"What did you say?!" Cletus questions.
"You heard me." Antauri said.
'How could someone refuse to go to Heaven?' Cletus mentally questions. "But your par-"
"My parents are dead two years ago!" Antauri shouts angrily. "They were killed by the hunter! And those monsters you called them are the ones taking care of me!?"
Millie and Moxxie can tell that the white hellhound would rather stay with the three imps and Loona in Hell than go with the Cherubs in Heaven.
"And besides, what good would that do if I go with you?" Antauri questions.
"Antauri, is that a serious question?" Keenie questions as she adjusts Lyle's bedsheets, revealing his wallet full of dollar bills. Cletus grabs the wallet. "You can help Lyle spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!"
Keenie flies around, grabbing Lyle's wallet from Cletus and happily throws Lyle's dollar bills in the air.
"Fat chance/Nnnno!" Antauri and Lyle said with a glare.
"You two can pay for new hospitals and schools!" Collin said excitedly.
"Not happening." Antauri remarked.
"Why won't you let me die?" Lyle questioned, grips his blanket when Blitzo appeared beside him.
Oh, sounds like ya need help offin' yourself there, buddy." Blitzo states, turns to Moxxie. "Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?"
Moxxie reaches into his coat and tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzo and Lyle. They each catch an assault rifle, Blitzo also catching a crossbow with his tail.
"I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, Tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas-"
(A/N: Which reference of a katana belongs too? Guess right and you earned a cookie.)
"He's classier than that!" Collin said with a glare.
"Is he?" Antauri inquires with his eyebrow raise, points at Lyle.
Lyle points the assault rifle into his mouth, before Collin takes it from him.
"There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!" Collin points out.
"Yeah, right." Millie remarked. "Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!"
Millie sniffs Lyle. She becomes visibly ill, covering her mouth, and holds Moxxie by a shoulder as she vomits on the floor. Moxxie pats her on the back.
"Jeez, old geezer, take a shower!" Antauri told him with disgust.
"Life can be beautiful at any age!" Cletus states.
"And we'll show them." Keenie suggested with a smirk.
"Yeah!" The Cherubs cheers.
"NOOOOO!" The three imps and Antauri yelled.
The three Cherubs roll Lyle in his bed outside to a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.
"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age!" Cletus told him, winks. "Or wealth!"
"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this." Collin adds.
Blitzo appears in a lion costume.
"Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitzo questions with a smirk as he does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.
Keenie covers her mouth and gasps. Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look.
"That is so inappropriate!" Kennie shouts.
Millie and Moxxie appear in a cat costume while Antauri returns to his hellhound form.
"Oh, kiss our ass, prude!" Millie retorted, flips a double bird.
"And if you think I'll go with you three stooges, you got another thing coming!" Antauri adds with a scowl.
Soon as Keenie looked at the white hellhound, she gasps.
'PUPPY! SO CUTE!?' Keenie mentally shouts.
"Keenie, are you sure you're ok?" Collin asks, making Keenie snaps out of her thought.
"W-What? Yeah I'm ok." Keenie answered.
Blitzo shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him.
"Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Blitzo told him.
Blitzo grabs a pair of binoculars out of nowhere. Lyle looks through the binoculars and sees an adorable group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.
"Ohhhh, noooo!" Lyle said in horror.
"S-Stop looking!" Collin said desperately as he tries to tug his binoculars away.
"I CAN'T stop!" Lyle whimpers. "I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"
A bear swipes a wolf to the ground. It raises a paw to attack but is then crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air. The chainsaw comes back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder, before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lightning flashes dramatically.
Everyone freezes in horror, Blitzo faking it before grinning smugly.
"Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!" Cletus suggests nervously.
Millie and Moxxie bump fists, the paws of their cat costumes squeaking.
Cuts to a shopping mall. Lyle in his bed is pushed through the door hard enough to destroy both it and part of the wall surrounding it.
"Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!" Lyle complains.
"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment! Keenie said.
Keenie motions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a 'CRAFT MINE' shirt, while another eats a booger.
"Why...look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin." Lyle said with awe. "Th-Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood...and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this."
"Hey, dipshit!" The voice of Blitzo called out.
Pans over to Blitzo and Millie dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a Rudolph costume and Antauri wears a yeti costume.
"Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?" Blitzo asks with a smirk. "Antauri, fetch!"
Antauri smirks as he grabs Santa's beard and rips off the costume. 'Santa' is revealed to be an ugly, sweaty gnome wearing a '#Cuties' shirt and underwear, making a gnome noise. The kids scream and run in terror. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.
"Santa's EVIL!"
Scene cuts to Lyle in bed in the woods next to a crude wooden sign reading 'LOVERS' LOOKOUT', a cartoon heart replacing the O in 'LOVERS'. A small note underneath it, possibly written after the fact, reads 'I guess...'
"Egh! This places reeks of TEENAGERS!" Lyle complains in annoyance.
"Lovers' Lookout, sir!" Cletus points out. "We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!"
"Money!" Lyle states as he holds up creepy, trembling grabby hands.
"No! Love." Collin remarked.
"I've never been in love before." Lyle states. "I imagine it's quite nice!"
"It's not too late, sir!" Collin told him. "You can still find-"
The Imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses while Antauri is dressed a biker gang.
"HA! Nice try ugly." Blitzo said with a smirk.
"This is embarrassing." Antauri said somberly.
"Aw come on, Antauri, you look handsome." Millie told the white hellhound as he sigh.
Blitzo pulls out a megaphone.
"Hey, horny lovers!" Blitzo called them. "Which one of you would FUCK this old man?!"
All the cars speed away in an instant. Lyle deflates, dejected.
"You know, you four are so utterly c-c-cruel!" Collin said, gets into Blitzo's face. "We're just trying to redeem someone and give hope to someone in need!"
"Oh...and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!" Moxxie retorted as he through his hands out for emphasis.
"You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie!" Blitzo told him.
Blitzo walks up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labeled 'PISS', adjusts the nozzle, then sprays into Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch and hiss.
Cuts to the inside of an auditorium. A woman dressed as a Viking sings opera on stage while wearing a fake unicorn on her lower torso. A well-dressed man plays a grand piano behind her. The cherubs and the audience are also well-dressed, though Lyle only wears a bowtie over his simple, sweat-stained hospital gown.
"Behold! The wonder of art and music!" Cletus said. "Somethin' always there to comfort...entertain...and live for!"
Up above the stage, the three Imps and Antauri, who's back in his hellhound form, look down from a catwalk near the ceiling. Blitzo wags his butt and tail like a cat.
"So...how do we make this bad?" Millie questions.
"We can't." Moxxie answered. "There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact."
"That's debatable." Antauri states.
"Unless we ruin it somehow!" Blitzo points out as he shakes his butt in Moxxie's face.
With a mischievous grin, Blitzo grabs the spotlight and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light, resuming her song. Blitzo moves the spotlight again, and the singer again pauses to follow it.
"She's not very good." Lyle states.
Blitzo chuckles softly and moves the light faster and faster around the stage as Lyle and the Cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. Blitzo wiggles the spotlight around aggressively, then gasps as he accidentally breaks it off entirely. The woman sings a final high note before the light crushes her on stage, smashing her into pieces and splattering blood all over the stage. The audience, Lyle, and the Cherubs scream, while the pianist nervously tries to keep playing, his face drenched in sweat.
"Well, at least we made it bad." Blitzo said with a smirk.
The three Cherubs fly angrily up toward the imps and the white hellhound.
"THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT!" Cletus yelled. "You three monsters have messed with us enough!"
"D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin adds with an angry scowl.
"Well, so are we!" Moxxie argued.
"EEEENOUGH!" Cletus yelled.
The three Cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the Imps and the white hellhound.
"We are savin' Antauri and that shitty old man's life, whether they want it or not!" Cletus continued.
"Oh yeah?! No one is taking our kid, and someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay?" Blitzo retorted. "And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this..."
Blitzo reaches into his coat and pulls out a jewel-encrusted green horse figure wearing sunglasses and a 'MARE-AJUANA' cap.
"...so he's gotta go!" Blitzo continued, points at Lyle. "Also, Antauri belongs to us in Hell and we ain't letting you assholes take him!"
Keenie flies into Blitzo's face.
"You all are disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on!" Keenie snarled. "And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!"
"You know, you Cherubs are really starting to piss me off!" Antauri growled angrily, earned their attention. "You're the ones meddling with human lives, so to me that sounds hypocritical and judgmental! Sometimes humans are good, but most of all they're a twisted mental fucks who want nothing in their lives! Telling that old fucker to come to Heaven is bullshit!"
"Excuse me?!" Keenie demands, feeling offended.
"You heard him?!" Millie retorted, jumps in front of Antauri. "So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH!?"
"...FILTHY DEMON CRAP!" Keenie yelled, tackles Millie.
Intense opera music plays as the fight scene begins. Keenie and Millie roll over in a cat fight. Cletus and Collin shoow golden arrows at Blitzo and Moxxie who stayed still until Antauri threw his throwing knives at the two Cherubs, forcing them to discard their crossbows.
"Antauri!" Moxxie and Blitzo said.
"Moxxie, go help Millie, me and Blitz got these two clowns!" Antauri suggested.
Moxxie jumps off of the catwalk, grabbing and swinging on a rope. He aims his pistol at Keenie, who is still fighting with Millie as they fall. Millie and Keenie exchange punches to the face. Moxxie aims up and fires at a rope which releases a sandbag. The sandbag slams into Keenie, separating her and Millie, and Moxxie swings over and catches Millie as Cletus and Collin chase them down, firing their crossbows. Millie grabs Moxxie's face and they stare into each other's eyes with lustful grins. They make out as they swing above the stage, Millie pulling two machine guns out of Moxxie's coat and firing as they spin rapidly. Blitzo and Antauri climbs onto a catwalk and spots Millie's bra and Moxxie's bow tie fly past them. The bullets hit and kill various audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle.
"It's all starting to make sense now! Life is worth living because we only get one! We must cherish it! If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these over my life, then certainly is worth living! Killing myself is not the answer! Plus...I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things!" Lyle said as he pulls out two wads of cash in triumph. "I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!"
The audience claps happily for Lyle. Millie and Moxxie, spinning while firing their guns and being chased by Collin and Keenie, accidentally shoot a woman in the audience in the eye, killing her instantly.
Blitzo runs along the metal scaffolding with his flintlock pistol. He jumps onto a bit of scaffolding, holding some spotlights attached to the ceiling with a rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other. Blitzo attempts to fire, but finds his gun empty.
"Hey, asswipe!" Antauri called him, taps Cletus' shoulder.
Cletus turns and Antauri punches him in the face.
"Oof! You fucker!" Cletus grunts.
Momentarily blinded, Cletus recklessly fires an arrow, severing the rope holding up the scaffolding Blitzo is standing on and that Moxxie and Millie are swinging from. Antauri then grabs a rope and swings his way to save the three imps from falling.
"Thanks, sweetie." Millie thanked him, kisses Antauri in the cheek.
"I couldn't let you three die." Antauri told her with a small smile.
Then, Antauri lands on the floor with the three imps jumping off. The metal scaffolding smashes onto the floor of the stage, narrowly missing the pianist and cartoonishly bending a board so it holds up the piano at an angle.
The pianist is startled and stops playing, then straightens his bow tie, drops his stool down onto the stage, and uses it to drop from the bent floorboard. The board then sends the piano flying through the air, breaking in the process. Blitzo, Millie, Moxxie, Antauri, Cletus, Collin, and Keenie follow the piano with their eyes as it falls. Lyle turns to see the piano flying straight towards him, screaming like a girl and scrambling out of his bed into a seat. Unfortunately for him, the piano suddenly shifts to his new location and crushes both him and a few corpses haphazardly shot and killed by Moxxie and Millie.
"Well, he's dead." Antauri said with a smirk.
Moxxie grins as he stand next to Mille. Blitzo, Antauri, and the couple grin smugly.
"Well, well. Would'ya look at that? You...did our job...for us." Moxxie said. "Heh!"
Antauri gives the Cherubs a raspberry while Millie smirks and gives them two middle fingers.
Cuts to the Cherubs staring at Lyle's unfortunate death in utter shock. Collin gasps in horror.
"Ohhhh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my Goooood!" Collin said in panic.
Keenie grabs Collin by the shirt and slaps him across the face a few times.
"Get a hold of yourself, Collin!" Keenie shouts. "And do NOT use the Lord's name in VAIN!"
"THIS...ISN'T OVER!" Cletus yelled angrily, then turns to Antarui. "ESPECIALLY YOU, ANTAURI, WE'LL BE BACK!?"
"I wouldn't count on it." Antauri said quietly.
Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie smirk as Keenie creates a portal to Heaven and the Cherubs fly through, only to be mysteriously repelled back.
"WHAT THE-?!"
A group of Cherubs descends, composed of two bees, two sheep, and Deerie, the leader. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard.
Deerie is a somewhat tall anthropomorphic fawn covered in light honey brown fur with lemon yellow accents, along with light coral pinkish-red hair and ear which are pale pink on the inside with orchid purple tips. She also has a dark slate blue-purple nose that could almost match her eyes, which are nearly the same color, albeit a little lighter. Her thin eyebrows are both indigo and so are her hooves, and she has a pair of pale gold feathered wings. She wears a blue shirt, overalls, a pink bow, and a halo.
"Mmm, yeah, no, sorry, Cletus, but I'm afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human and you failed to bring Antauri." Deerie informed him. "I'm afraid you can't re-enter Heaven. Yeaaaah, no..."
"WHAT?!" Cletus, Collin, and Keenie exclaims.
"Yeaaaah, mmmmm, sorry!" Deerie said condescendingly. "Yeaaaah, no..."
"Is there...anything we can do?!" Collin pleads.
Deerie flies her hoof.
"Yeaaaa, nooo!" Deerie answered with a chuckle. "Noooo, no, no."
Deerie says 'no' while pointed her hooves at Collin, Cletus, and Keenie.
"Bu-But, we didn't mean to!" Keenie pleads. "We'd never! It was all-"
Keenie points to the spot where I.M.P. and Antauri were, only to find them gone. All three Cherubs stare wide-eyed, Keenie's pointing hand trembling, whilst the sound of a horrified woman screaming plays in the background.
"Anyway, sorry, guys. But those are the rules!" Keenie points out. "Yeaaaaah. Byyye!"
Deerie does a happy wave before she and the group vanish through the portal.
"Wait! But-"
Cletus flies toward the portal but it closes. Cletus breaks down into tears and cries. Keenie notices the trail of hellhound hair as she follows it, but Collin noticed, following her. Soon as they found the trail, the two Cherubs watches the three imps head towards the portal.
"There you are." Keenie said quietly.
"But Keenie, are you sure about that? We need-"
"It's too late, Cletus got us into this mess in the first place." Keenie interrupted. "He already lost it and we didn't do anything. I think we should join them since we've got nowhere else to go."
Of course, Collin didn't like the idea of going to Hell with her, but knows that she's right.
But as Antauri went through the portal, both Keenie and Collin quietly went through the portal.
Blitzo claps his hands together, transitioning back to the I.M.P. Office.
"Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed." Blitzo said. "Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so...It's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up."
"I wouldn't say that." Antauri said, earned his attention. "Lyle is maybe dead, but he's up in Hell right now. The reason I'm saying that is because of the illegal experimentation on the humans.
"Hmm...didn't thought about it." Blitzo said with a hum.
"Sir...when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asks curiously.
"Oh, I already sent him a text, and...we're in good hands, 'cause text don't make people angry." Blitzo replied, holds up and points at the phone.
On Blitzo's phone it shows that Loopty Goopty is called 'Lupis' in his contacts. The text from Loopty reads 'U fail, U die', followed with Blitzo replying 'sorry' surrounded by emojis, with 'saxophone emoji' typed a line below. Moxxie looks worriedly to the wall behind him. He quickly scurries out of the way as a metal escalator proceeds to crash into the office.
"BLIIIIIITZ!" Loopty Goopty called him, descending the escalator.
"Loofaaaaa!" Blitzo said with worry, mispronounces. "We can explain everything. I was..."
Another metal escalator crashes through the wall and squashes Moxxie as Lyle, now a mechanical demon with piano keys for teeth and rolling ball in place of legs, arrives with a grin. Moxxie stiffly in pain.
Lyle Lipton is now a demon with a robotic appearance with a round, spherical body with his head on top and arms on his sides. He wears a light green vest with a dark outline on top and one button on the front, a dark bowler hat with a red stripe, and a pair of light green gloves on his hands. He has mint-green skin with a red triangular patch on his chin, a large bushy light grey mustache, and a pair of red pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens. With his lower half being a ball and lacking legs, he gets around simply by rolling. His teeth resembles of piano keys.
"Lyle Lipton?!" Blitzo and Millie exclaims in confusion.
"I don't understand." Millie said. "We thought you went to Heaven."
"Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" Lyle remarked with a laughter.
"Told you." Antauri said with a smirk.
"Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH!" Loopty Goopty said with a smile, turns to Blitzo. "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"
"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?" Lyle questions.
Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling.
Did someone say, I say, inventors?!" Wally Wackford said with a smirk. "Names Wally Wackford, I am lookin' for creative-"
Just before Wally Wackford could finish his sentence, he was knocked out by a frying pan when both Keenie and Collin revealed themselves.
"What the fuck are you two doing here?!" Blitzo demands angrily. "Better yet, how did you get here?!"
"We followed you guys and came here." Keenie told him. "Besides, Cletus lost it since he took it way too serious."
"And we didn't do anything or didn't be part of this." Collin adds.
Neither of the three imps or Antauri are convinced.
"We need a job, if you're hiring, we can help you out." Keenie said.
"...Fine..." Blitzo replied with a grunt in annoyance. "You two can help Moxxie fix the walls."
"But, anyway funny ideas and you'll regret it." Millie warns them with a threatening glare.
Both Keenie and Collin replied with a nod since they got the message loud and clear. She then began to hug the white hellhound, kissing his cheek.
"From now on, we'll be working together." Keenie said with a warm smile.
"I'd rather knit both you and lambchops intestines into a sweater if you don't get off." Antauri growled.
However, Keenie doesn't care while embracing him tightly.
That's it for 8th chapter.