Zelda OOT Parody
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, this is just a funny Parody of OOT
Great Deku Tree: Navi.. Navi… Get the freck over here, I have a stomach ache.
Navi:(appears in like 2 seconds) Hello!
Great Deku Tree: Navi..go to the boy without the fairy bring
him to me.
Navi: OK (zooms off)
Great Deku Tree: Well that gets rid Navi for at least a few minutes. Now I can have some peace and qui- WHAT THE FRECK IS THAT EWW IT'S CRAWLING INSIDE OF ME YUCK.. OHH EWWW (continues yelling)
Meanwhile…
Link: (asleep) snooorre..
Navi: (enters link's room) Aww he is so cute when he's asleep, I shouldn't wake him up.
(pauses for a second)
Navi: HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LIST…
Link: (Screams and then falls out of bed)
Link: WHO THE FRECK ARE YOU! WERE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP! YOU'RE CREEPY!
Navi: HEY LISTEN The Great Deku Tree needs you, go see him now, he has a stomach ache.
Link: You woke me up from my nap to see a FREAKIN TALKING TREE ABOUT HIS STOMACH ACHE!
Navi: Yeah, you're a quick learner Link!
Link: (looks at Navi) Get out of my house
Navi: JUST MOVE ALREADY
Link: FIIINE
(link exits his house and sees Saria)
Link: Oh Crap
Saria: LIINNK you finally got a fairy! YAY! I am totally in love with you. Want to go out *te hee*
Link: Get out of my way you pile of-
Navi: Link watch your language this game is rated E for everyone
Link: FINE *grumbles*
(grabs the pepto bismol)
Link: *pushes Saria out of the way* Get out of my way you little..
Navi: LINK! (glares)
Link: I WAS GONNA SAY BRAT
Navi: (muttering) yeah right
(link walks up to the way to the Deku Tree and sees Mido)
Mido: STOP! THOU SHALL NOT PASS! I AM BITTER AND JEALOUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SARIA! YOU NEED A SWORD AND SHIELD!
(Saria appears)
Saria: *giggles* Hey Link, can I have a lock of your hair, I am experimenting in cloning.
Link: …
Mido: …
Navi: …
You: …
Link: Get out of here you creep.
Saria: O.K *Tee he*
Mido: You know what Link, you can have the sword and shield, I'm not jealous anymore
Link: (mutters) You think.
Navi: HEY LISTEN
Link:(ignores her)
Navi: HEY LISTEN
Link: (still ignores her)
Navi: I'm gonna keep doing it until you respond, HEY LISTEN
Link: *groans* FINNE, What is it!
Navi: Lets go see the great deku tree
Link: Why you little…
Navi: Language Link, children are watching.
(Link proceeds to chase Navi around the forest with his sword yelling I'LL KILL YOU!)
Navi: (hiding in a tree) Sorry Link, sorry. Stop chasing me please.
Link: (sitting on his porch with a b&q and chicken strips.) *mouth full* Hmm uh sure?
Navi: YAY! Lets go Link
Link: But my hamburgers are nearly done.
Navi: *rolls eyes* Come on Link.
Link: FIIINE
Navi: You do realize that's like, the fourth time you have said that so far
Link: Yeah it's my catch phrase.
Navi: I thought your catch phrase was "HYYYAHHHHH"
Link: I thought I'd change it up a bit. Anyway we should probably get to the dungeon part because it has been 5 pages and we haven't even gotten to the dungeon. The author is getting tired.
Navi: You're right
Link: We should get go- OOH My hamburgers are done!
(link runs over to his porch and starts plating them up)
Navi: ?
1 hamburger fiesta with a annoyed fairy later
Link: (enters the grove) Ok old man, where is the dungeon
Deku Tree: Link… GET THIS THING OUT OF ME EWWW (screams)
Navi: I think it is in his mouth
Link: EWWWW, YUCK
Navi: Well, at least it is the only time you will visit the insides of a sacred deity to clear them of a parasite!
SPOILER ALERT: It is not the only time
Link: I guess, but at least it is time for…
DUNGEON SUMMARY
Dungeons Summarized in a few Sentences
Oh this is the Deku Tree's insides, I expected more organs…
EWWW GIANT SPIDER ON A SPIDER WEB YUUCK
Why does a flower drops nuts
OOH COOL A SLINGSHOT! Now I can hit Navi when she is flying
Why are there sticks here
Wow a secret order in exchange for your life. Such a ripoff
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SPIDERS
Stupid parrying the deku stuff for a door
WHAT IS THAT! EWW IT'S EATING THE GREAT DEKU TREE
I THREW MY SWORD AT IT AND IT DID NOTHING! WAHHHH MOMMY I'M SCARED!
NAVI IF YOUR GOING TO BE ANY USE ANNOY HER TO DEATH OR AT LEAST THROW THE PEPTO BISMOL AT HER!
Huh, that actually worked
YAY WE DID IT!
Oh look, a disembodied heart I should consume it!
(Summary Ended)
(Link and Navi exit the dungeon)
Deku Tree: Link… I must thank you. You have conquered the trials laid before you. You used your courage and heroism to defeat Queen Gohma.
Navi: Well actually it was the pepto bis-
(Link grabs Navi and shoved her in his hat)
Link: Yep that's me, courageous and heroic.
Deku Tree: Unfortunately, I am dying anyway.
Link: Wait What?
Deku Tree: I'm dying.
Link: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING I WENT THROUGH A DUNGEON FOR THIS! I COULD HAVE DIED FIGHTING GOHMA AND IT WOULD BE FOR NOTHING, I REPEAT NOTHING!
Deku Tree: What if I give you something shiny to make up for it.
Link: O.K you are forgiven.
Deku Tree: But first I must explain something…
One long discussion involving the triforce, goddesses, and a evil guy..
Deku Tree: *dies*
(Kokiri Emerald appears)
Link: OOH SHINY, lets get out of here!
To be continued…