Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/4510190
Okay/Fine
by ArfisraR
Summary
"We're fine. You have nothing to worry about." Over the years this phrase has become a mantra for Sakura.
Notes
Minor spoilers for chapters of the Boruto Manga (chapters 77 - 78)
See the end of the work for more notes.
Sakura rubs a firm hand downwards on her shifting belly, hoping to calm the anxious movement.
"It's okay, baby, it's okay. Your mama is okay."
Her little one has been turning this way and that, picking up on her mama's apprehension. Try as she might, Sakura cannot curb her own fears in this moment. She looks to her side at her husband's slumbering form, trying to ground herself.
He's here. He is with me, with us. It's okay to feel nervous and fearful at this time.
She has wanted this for so long. A relationship with Sasuke, a family with her Sasuke-kun, and she is so, so happy in this moment, she tells herself.
But as her eyes drift across the room and land on their discarded clothes, on the red and white symbol of her husband's clan stitched on the back of her shirt, her anxiety grows tenfold.
Sakura takes a deep breath, and allows herself to feel all the grief and sorrow, all the sadness and despair, and all the anger and death and infamy and tragedy that surround her husband's clan, the clan she married into, the clan name her child will carry.
Sasuke had asked her before, she remembers now. Standing on the threshold of the great green gates, her inside ready to take her first step, him outside waiting, palm of his remaining hand facing her, not yet reaching but still open, fingers pointing her way. "Are you sure, Sakura?" he'd asked her, looking into her eyes.
Are you sure you want a life with me?
As she rubs soothing circles on the underside of her rounded abdomen, she reflects on this question and all the unsaid inflections always present in her husband's various methods of communication.
Sakura doesn't regret this in the least. This relationship, this man that she chose to love, this family that they are bringing to life together. She does not regret the nomadic lifestyle, nor the constant uncertainty that comes with sharing a life with a perpetual avenger. She has never before regretted the burden that comes with carrying such a heavy surname.
(And oh, what a huge burden it is. In the privacy of her mind she has hated her husband's family a thousand times over. She hates them all for dying and leaving her Sasuke all alone to atone for the sins of generations upon generations of a misguided people. Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Obito got off the hook so easy for all the manipulations and machinations they did for whatever reasons they had. It is her husband that is left behind to pick up the leftover crumbles and reassemble the broken fan, piece by agonising piece, at the cost of his own freedom and peace. Always a breath away from disappearing forever like the fading embers of a dying fire.
And it is her baby that will inherit this same burden...)
Sakura stifles a gasp as her baby gives her a harsh kick, and breathes in the moisture that is beginning to build at the corners of her eyes.
There it is. Her anxiety and uncertainty spelled out clear in front of her. She has never regretted becoming Sasuke's wife and the future Uchiha matriarch, but here in this moment for the first time, she wishes to keep her baby inside her for longer, maybe even forever, somehow (the medic-nin in her snorts at the illogical thought, but the first-time-mom sympathises).
The world outside is so cruel. Even in times of relative peace such as theirs, the uncertainty of another other-worldly threat always looms at the back of their minds. Sasuke has mentioned as much to her, of how he might have to leave them someday soon in search of some danger that only he can look for. He is after all the only wielder of both the Rinnegan and the Sharingan. For now.
The Sharingan. Our child will no doubt inherit that kekkei-genkai. What if...
A warm hand on her own and a breath next to her ear halts her internal torment. "Sakura? Are you okay?" Sasuke asks her, looks down at her belly once and then into her eyes through his sleep-mussed fore-locks.
"I'm fine, Sasuke-kun. Just a bit restless," Sakura answers easily.
"Are you sure, Sakura?" he asks again.
And Sakura takes a breath, counts to ten in her head, and then answers: "I'm okay. We're fine, Sasuke-kun. You have nothing to worry about."
And over the years that pass this phrase becomes a mantra of sorts to Sakura.
When Sarada asks her about her missing father, Sakura assures her that everything is fine.
When Ino questions her about her marriage and how and why she is still in love with an absent partner, Sakura says she's fine with it.
When Sasuke has a rare moment of doubt about their marriage and the toll of his long absence on their relationship, and asks her if she wants a real ring as a reminder of their bond, Sakura assures him that he worries for nothing.
When Sasuke thanks her for everything, after he finds her asleep on their dinner table waiting for him, she reassures him yet again. "We're fine, Sasuke-kun."
And as their old team-mate's chakra disappears and an alert goes out in the village, as Sasuke straps on his cloak and weapon and looks back at her, she hears her husband's unsaid question and answers accordingly:
"We're fine. We are going to be fine, Sasuke-kun."
--End--
End Notes
This is the first story I ever wrote on Ao3, sometime in February last year. Since this is my first fic I apologise if there is any mistake in writing, tagging or formatting. I hope to upload all my stories here soon.