As the middle child Clay had never felt particularly forgotten or ignored. However, sometimes he went a little unnoticed, and that gave him the chance to take note of things that others didn't think twice about.
When the brothers first reunited they all looked at each other and only saw the children they had once been. John Dory was still controlling and needlessly insisted on being the one in charge. Spruce was still easily annoyed and defiant. Clay was still silly and, despite what he said, not to be taken seriously. Floyd was still self-sacrificing, trying so hard to please his brothers that he ended up hurting himself. And Branch was still the clingy little baby brother.
As they actually got to properly know each other, and learned to see past the roles they'd been forced into and the masks that they wore, they began to get a better idea of just who each other was.
John Dory was scared and he put up a strong front because he'd always felt like he had to. He believed that if his brothers could be good enough for the world, then that would mean that John would have been good enough for them.
Bruce, not Spruce, was laid-back, but also responsible. He still had a spirit of defiance, but it had been buried under years of learned tolerance. Time and experience had taught him to calm down, take a deep breath, and deal with a situation instead of running away from it. He wasn't going to run from his kids the way he'd run from his brothers.
Clay wasn't exactly super serious, but he wasn't the goof-ball he'd been told he was as a kid. He could look at a situation, take in everything he saw and heard, and immediately figure out what was the most important to prioritize. He still liked to have fun, but he knew that there was a time and place for everything.
Floyd was still very sensitive to the feelings of others, but he wasn't an optimistic child who tried to bring out the good in everybody. He saw people for who they were, and he wasn't afraid to speak his mind if he thought you were in the wrong.
Branch had grown up. He hadn't had a choice. He'd been hurt in the past and had done his best to shield his heart, and it took finding a balance between patience and pushing him out of his comfort zone for him to open himself up again. He was not the naive child he'd once been. None of them were.
Clay didn't think their relationships would ever go back to the way they'd been before, but he didn't mind that so much, because he hadn't thought their relationships were very good in the first place. Now that they were all adults, and had learned at least a bit about who they were as individuals, they could work on building up a proper relationship.
After they left Mount Rageous it was agreed that they would go to Vacay Island. All of them needed a break, and Bruce had a wife and kids he needed to get back to. And while Floyd was already doing a lot better now that he was out of the diamond prison, he was far from fine. None of them knew how bad it was, and none of them felt comfortable letting him out of their sights until they knew he was okay. But Bruce couldn't be away from his family and responsibilities for an indeterminate amount of time.
So they would be staying with Bruce and Brandy for a bit, just until they could figure out what was going on and where they needed to go from here.
Despite the nature of the island, none of them were able to relax, let alone feel like they were actually on vacation. They were here to recover and reconnect, not to have a good time. They had been on this island for about a week, and they'd all learned things about each other. Clay didn't know if these were new facts, or if they were things that had always been there, and they just hadn't bothered to look. That was just something else about his brothers that he would have to learn.
They learned that John Dory and Floyd liked to be outside. John loved nature, and in general he felt more care-free if he wasn't surrounded by walls. Clay thought this might be something that had been the case when they were younger, because he did remember John Dory going on small camping trips on his own every once and awhile. He had only ever been gone for a day or so, but he came back refreshed and bossier than ever.
Clay and Bruce had always thought that John Dory hated camping, and just did it because he somehow felt like it was something he was supposed to do. They thought it put him in a bad mood and he just took it out on them. Now that Clay knew how much stress his older brother had been under, he wondered if those little camping trips really had been to help him relax and get away from everything, because it was all too much.
As for Floyd's fondness for the outdoors, it was clear that was a new development. After who knows how long of being locked up and unable to really move, Floyd craved the vast freedom that being outside provided.
Clay was glad that John loved being outside and Bruce felt neutral about it, because he and Branch really didn't like it. Clay hadn't realized how stifling the Hole N' Fun had been until he had left. While the mini golf course had been outdoors, it was cut off from the rest of the world. Clay was glad that he had left, and he didn't want to go back to living in constant fear, but it was overwhelming just how large the world was.
Clay was more than happy to go outside to be with his brothers, but if he had the choice between being in the vast world and staying inside, with the protective walls and structure, he would rather stay in. And he knew that Branch, who had similar experiences with his bunker, felt similarly.
They fell into a loose schedule. Every morning all of them would go outside to watch the sunrise and just talk for a bit. Then Clay and Branch would go back in and help Brandy with the kids, enjoying the opportunity to get to know their niece and nephews.
John Dory and Bruce stayed outside with Floyd. Mostly they just swam or moved around in the water as they tried to get him used to moving again without needing to worry about putting pressure on his still weak legs.
Throughout the day they would sometimes spend time with each other as a whole group, and sometimes they would split into groups of two or three to have a more intimate setting. Clay liked those moments most, because he felt like it gave him the chance to properly get to know his brothers outside of them just being the trolls he happened to be related to.
John Dory and Poppy joined Clay's sad book group. He felt like Poppy was doing it a little reluctantly, but Branch assured him that she genuinely wanted to expose herself to other genres and styles, though it might be best to take things slow. So Clay started them on some of his favorite, but more emotionally easier to handle, stories, and they seemed to be enjoying it.
Clay had invited Floyd to join them. The whole reason he'd gotten into sad books in the first place was because he'd been missing his brothers, and anything that made him more aware of his emotions reminded him of his emotionally mature little brother. Floyd had joined them once, but then refused after that. He said he'd had enough pain and loneliness in the past few months to last him a lifetime, and Clay wasn't going to push him to do more
In the afternoon Poppy and Viva would usually go out to do sister things. Floyd would take an afternoon nap, because he was still so easily drained. John Dory and Branch would keep an eye on him while they wrote music together. Clay didn't know how well their songs were going, because they wouldn't share any of them until they were finished, but at least they weren't fighting.
During that time Bruce and Clay would hang out. Sometimes Bruce would teach him how to surf. Sometimes they'd mess around and dance just like they used to when they were kids. Usually though they'd just sit and talk about life. They both had a lot of responsibilities on their plate and people they needed to take care of. It really was a tough load to carry.
When things started to wind down for the evening Floyd and Clay would take turns brushing each other's hair. Clay wouldn't really say that his hair was damaged, but it was wispier than it had been as a kid, and he needed to care for it in different ways than he once had. Floyd's hair on the other hand actually was damaged. It looked like the color was slowly returning to his hair, but there was still a fair amount of white, and that white hair was more sensitive than the rest of it and needed to be cared for accordingly.
Clay knew how to take care of thin hair. He knew how to wash and brush Floyd's hair without pulling his hair out. And by convincing Floyd to help him with his wild hair, Clay was able to teach his brother how to treat his own hair without making his little brother feel like there was something wrong with him.
Clay didn't think there was anything wrong with having weaker hair. It just needed a little more TLC.
He loved that he and his brothers were getting along with each other now, and actually had a real relationship. Clay had never really thought that he could be friends with his brothers. He'd thought that people who claimed that their siblings were their best friends were either sheltered or lying. Now he knew better.
But there were a few things about their brotherly bonding that Clay was a little worried about. Specifically between Floyd and Branch. Their youngest brother was a bit of a survivalist. He and Viva started talking about their different emergency preparations, and Floyd had found himself drawn into their conversations. Now at least once a day Clay would find Branch and Viva enthusiastically going over different worst-case scenarios and how to be ready for them, and Floyd hung on to their every word.
Clay had always been a little frightened by how intense Viva could be in her desperation to protect those around her. He found it very concerning that Branch was the same way, and he didn't really want to see the two of them encourage each other to more extremes. What Clay was most worried about was Floyd.
He knew his little brother was a little scared of the world now. It would take him time to calm down and trust people after what he'd been through, and Clay didn't think it was healthy to have Branch and Viva's paranoia rubbing off on him. What if Floyd took what they said to heart, and instead of just being a little cautious he decided to lock himself away from the rest of the world? That was the last thing he needed.
Clay had tried to bring his concerns up to his older brothers. John Dory had waved it off completely, saying that he was overreacting and it was good for Branch to share his passion with someone. Bruce actually listened to what Clay was saying, and he offered assurances.
"If this makes Floyd feel better, then maybe it'll do him some good." Bruce said. "But I hear you. We'll keep an eye on it. If things go too far we'll talk to Branch. He'll understand. I'm sure he doesn't want Floyd to shut out the world any more than we do."
After that talk Clay felt a little better about the situation, and he also came to another realization. Something about their family dynamic was different than it had been when they were younger, and not just because they'd all grown up.
John Dory was the oldest brother, but Bruce was the one that had stepped up and offered a solution as well as comfort. And while Branch was and would always be the youngest brother, Floyd was the one they were all worried about and bending over backwards to keep happy.
Once the idea hit him, Clay couldn't stop seeing instances that proved him right. He started taking notes, writing down different things he observed, and it was all painting a very interesting picture.
John Dory didn't like being the responsible one. He didn't like being in charge. He took up that role because he hadn't had a choice. Now that he was starting to see that his brothers could take care of themselves and they didn't necessarily need 'the leader', he was starting to relinquish the role, and he was happier for it.
John Dory was more relaxed, and it wasn't a forced mask that he was putting on because he felt like he had to. He could actually talk to and have fun with his brothers without feeling like it was just another job.
John still helped out when he thought one of them needed help, but he didn't feel like it was an obligation. If Floyd woke up screaming from a nightmare, John Dory would check in on him to make sure he was alright and not hurt, as all of them did, but if someone else volunteered to stay awake with Floyd John didn't fight them on it. He would ask if they were sure, tell them to wake him if something happened, and then he would go back to bed and trust that everything was fine.
The fact that John Dory was backing off a bit was far more comforting than the constant hovering that he used to do. Clay was actually much more likely to trust John now than he had before. For twenty years he thought of John Dory as a controlling jerk. Now he could appreciate him as an older brother, even if he was starting to not think of him as the big brother in their family. That honor would go to Bruce.
Being a dad suited Bruce well. In twenty years Bruce was the second to last brother that Clay had ever thought would settle down, with Branch being the last just because it had been hard to think about him without imagining him as a literal baby. Seeing Bruce now and the way he was with his kids, as well as the way he was with their brothers, Clay could no longer imagine him in any other role.
Bruce got intense when he was involved in a fight, but when there was a disagreement between the others he was able to step in and resolve things before they even realized what was happening. When Clay or Viva were feeling overwhelmed with the world Bruce would take their hand, pull them into a quiet room, and just sit with them until they calmed down.
If Branch was frustrated with any of them or getting a little snappy, Bruce was somehow able to understand what he meant underneath his biting words, and he was able to address the problem instead of falling for the bait for a fight.
When John Dory started to dip back into his habit of treating them all like children, Bruce would have him babysit his kids.
As for Floyd, Bruce was the only one who was able to calm him down when he started freaking out. Clay could tell him he was safe. John Dory could put his arm around Floyd's shoulder and promise that they weren't going to let anybody hurt him again. Poppy could sing songs to sooth and distract him. Branch could try his eye-rubbing, fur stroking miraculous method to calm someone down. But it was all like putting a band-aid over a gaping wound.
Bruce was able to get past Floyd's anxiety. He enveloped him in a tight embrace, successfully reassuring Floyd that he wasn't alone and preventing him from accidentally hurting himself. He would whisper into Floyd's ear about how strong he was. Bruce told Floyd that he was too hard on himself, and that he needed to give himself some credit.
Clay didn't know why, but Floyd listened to Bruce when he said these things, even though he rolled his eyes if it came from anybody else and he would tell them to stop patronizing him. It was different when it came from their big brother.
John Dory would always be their oldest brother. That wasn't really something they could change. But Bruce was the big brother.
As Clay started watching his older brothers, he started to notice some things about his younger brothers.
He'd thought of Branch as the baby of the family for twenty years. He was the cute one. The one they needed to protect. The one who didn't really understand things, because he was just too young to get it. Now he could see otherwise.
Branch was always the first one awake every morning. He would make coffee for himself and John Dory, hot chocolate for Poppy and Clay, and tea for Viva and Floyd, and Brandy. Bruce alternated between what he liked to drink in the mornings, and somehow Branch always seemed to know just what he was in the mood for, and he would have it waiting for him when he got up.
Branch was helpful and hardworking, and even though he struggled to talk to them and open himself up, he tried, and it was more than the rest of them could say some days. Branch definitely wasn't a baby anymore. He was a fine young man, and more functional than John Dory seemed to be.
It made Clay feel both guilty and proud. He could tell that Branch was doing well for himself, and he was happy for him, but it was sad that it had to be this way. Branch should have never felt the need to grow up so quickly. They'd all forced that on him. And it had been forced onto all of them in one way or another.
Branch definitely wasn't a baby anymore. He could take care of himself. Floyd couldn't.
All of them were worried about him. For a few days there they had babied Floyd worse than they'd ever done to Branch, even when he was a literal baby. They kept a constant eye on Floyd and kept him in bed. They basically had to feed him because he lacked an appetite. Even Branch, the younger brother, did his fair share to take care of him.
Floyd had tolerated the frankly oppressive care, because he was too tired to fight them and too relieved to have his brothers back. As Floyd got stronger he started to resist them. They probably wouldn't have listened to him, because they all thought they knew better. But Poppy had noticed something that they all refused to see. She knew what it was like to be treated like a child because somebody thought they knew better, and so did Branch.
Poppy had a few short words with Branch, and suddenly he started advocating for Floyd, going on about how they could take care of him without completely disregarding how he felt. Seeing Branch defend his older brother like that was a little odd for Clay to see, but it was what finally made him look at the situation properly.
They really were babying Floyd, and Clay didn't think it was just because of what he had been through. He, John Dory, and Bruce were used to being the big brothers. It was their job to take care of the others. Branch had proven himself capable enough, so they backed off when it came to him, but that brotherly instinct didn't go away. It just shifted targets.
Floyd was their little brother too. He was sensitive, and hurt, and he needed them to be there for him, not just physically, but emotionally. Branch seemed to find a balance between helping Floyd and encouraging him to help himself, and the others followed his example.
Seeing Branch take of Floyd, taking on the role of a big brother for him, even though he was younger, Clay finally had all the pieces he needed to figure out where they all currently stood in this family.
Clay was still the middle child. He took care of others, and at the same time he was taken care of. He knew how both sides felt. But he was just a witness to the extremes on the sibling spectrum. The oldest, and the youngest. He'd seen how things were with John Dory and Branch when they were younger. He'd seen it with Bruce's kids. The oldest felt pressure to take responsibility and be in charge. The youngest felt the need to prove themself in everything they did.
Clay didn't know when it happened, but among his brothers the dynamic had changed. Bruce was the one they listened to when he spoke, and Floyd was the one that needed extra care and protection.
Maybe things were just that way right now, because Bruce was among his family and naturally using those same skills with his brothers, and Floyd was still so vulnerable. Maybe if they saw each other when Bruce wasn't surrounded by his kids, and when Floyd was able to do more for himself, then their dynamics would go back to how they were before.
For now, Floyd was the little brother, even if Branch was the youngest, and Bruce was the big brother, even if John Dory was the oldest. Clay was in the middle, and it was right where he wanted to be.
Clay made note of his observations, and he enjoyed seeing it play out in the way that his brothers interacted with each other, but he didn't say a word about it to the others. It wouldn't accomplish anything. John Dory would feel the pressure to step up and reclaim the role of big brother, even though he was doing fine as he was. And Floyd would just get frustrated with himself for being so weak that they felt the need to take care of him. He would feel like a burden, and that was the last thing that Clay wanted.
So Clay kept his thoughts, his observations, and his notebook to himself. If the others noticed what was going on and wanted to share their own observations, he would gladly listen and talk about it. Until then, his lips were sealed.