"So… Evan was definitely something tonight", I sigh now that me and Cappie are in my car and I'm driving him back to KT.
"You mean an ass?", Cappie scoffs. "Yeah that's pretty much his usual state of being".
"Yep", I sigh. "At least he apologized though".
"Yeah that's true", Cappie nods. "I think he'll really stay out of it now. Like he should've been doing from the beginning".
We drive in silence for a bit as I think over my worries about everything. And stupid Evan had just brought them to the surface tonight.
Would I be a good mom so young? Was I naive to think me and Cappie could live together and raise a baby without being in a relationship? Was this all destined to fail before it even began? Did I completely throw away any semblance of a successful future?
"You don't… think he's right, do you?", I ask treacherously.
"Casey…", I look over to see Cappie giving me a sympathetic face. "Don't let Evan get under your skin. He has no idea what he's talking about anyways. Since when did he become the expert on parenting?"
I scoff at that.
"I know right?", I say, annoyed at Evan. "Like he thinks that we're complete idiots. I think I know what's best for my baby".
"You do, so don't let Evan tell you differently. He's just… I don't know, jealous maybe? Which is really stupid since he's already in a relationship", Cappie theorizes.
"I don't know if he's jealous, if he is genuinely worried for us, or if he just doesn't like that we're gonna be in each others lives forever now", I shake my head.
"Maybe all three", Cappie shrugs. "I think he just hates the thought of me and you being happy together. And… we right now and he can't stand it".
"I guess you're right", I nod as I pull into KT's driveway.
"So, you wanna come in?", He asks.
I actually did. I really didn't feel like being away from Cappie tonight and being alone with my thoughts. Plus back at ZBZ Ash was gone now and who knows if Rebecca had Evan over, who I definitely didn't feel like seeing again tonight.
"Yeah, I would actually. If that's okay", I smile.
"If that's okay?", He scoffs, repeating my words sarcastically. "It's more than okay. C'mon I bet I'll be able to find something in the house for dessert. It's hard to hide much from the guys in terms of food but I have my ways".
I laugh as we get out of the car.
When we get in the place is pretty packed with guys. I mean it is Friday night.
The first one at the door to greet us is Beaver.
"Cap!", His face lights up.
"Hey Beav", Cappie grins.
"Oh hey Casey. I went out with your friend tonight. She is… very pretty", He smiles giddily.
"Yeah she is", I laugh.
"So you didn't have the baby yet?", Beaver looks at the two of us.
"Well considering I'm still as big as a whale, I think that should answer your question", I laugh.
"Remember I told you Beav, it's gonna be mid January, when you come back for second semester", Cappie tells him like he's a little kid.
"Oh right", Beaver shakes his head. "I'm just so excited to meet the little guy".
"Little girl, Beav", Cappie corrects him.
"Right. Our first KT baby", Beaver smiles. "Hey maybe I could practice on her, since you know, I don't know many other kids. Any actually, to be honest".
"I'm sorry practice what on her?", I step in then and Cappie laughs, realizing how weird what Beaver just said sounded.
"Oh I guess I've never told you, Beaver wants to be a kindergarten teacher", Cappie explains. "But Beav, she's gotta be a bit older first… when she's a baby there's not much you can do with her".
"Aw damn, yeah I guess you're right. It'll take like a few weeks before she's talking?", He asks.
"Close", I wince. "It'll be a couple years actually until she can form full sentences".
"Wow… this is gonna take way longer than I thought", He gives us a sad look. "She's taking so long to get here and then we can't even do anything fun with her for like two years, I mean by that time I might even have graduated".
"Sorry, I can't hurry her up or anything", I say, Beaver's complete incompetence about babies actually pretty compelling to me. "It's pretty standard 9 months cooking time for every baby".
Cappie scoffs at my comment.
"Don't worry Beav, you'll like her even before she can talk. You can hold her, and-", Cappie starts.
"Well I don't know about that", I cut Cappie off giving him a look.
"Right yeah… you can look at her… from afar", Cappie explains to Beaver as we all walk over to the living room.
"Okay Cap", He nods. "Anyway, I'm so glad you're here now, I have to go through everything I did on the date, make sure I didn't say anything inappropriate like I did last time".
I look at the both of them, confused.
"His last date he told the girl that she looked like his favorite stripper down at Gentleman's Choice", Cappie explains to me.
"I don't know why she slapped me! It was a compliment. The highest compliment you could give actually!", Beaver argues.
"Well earlier today I tried to give you some pointers, did you do what I told you to?", Cappie asks him as we all sit on the couch.
"Yeah I opened the car door to her car for her, I opened the door to the restaurant, paid the bill. I mean it was just Subway, but I sprang for footlongs. I think it's going well so far", He says with an excited smile.
"So far?", I question.
"Oh yeah, she's upstairs waiting for me. I just told her I was going to find some condoms", Beaver says nonchalantly. "That reminds me, do either of you guys have any condoms?"
Me and Cappie exchange surprised looks then.
"Wait she's in your room right now?", Cappie confirms.
"Yeah isn't that awesome!?", Beaver smiles. "So the condom situation then?"
"I don't think I have any that aren't really old", Cappie thinks to himself. "Since I haven't exactly been using them as of late. But hey why don't you check the miscellaneous condom drawer?"
"The what?", I question them, a confused, and slightly disturbed, look probably on my face.
"Of course", Beaver facepalms. "It's been so long since I've gotten laid I forgot about it".
"It's this new thing we're going here at KT, a kitchen drawer dedicated to spare condoms. An initiative to combat STDs and illegitimate love children", Cappie explains.
"And yet…", I give them a look. "I still got pregnant?"
"It's a new initiative", Cappie says with an awkward look on his face.
"You were the inspiration actually", Beaver smiles at me like I should be flattered.
"Wow… what an honor", I say sarcastically. "But Beav… you know Katherine's a virgin right?"
"Oh yeah she told me", He nods like it's no big deal.
"I just mean that you should take things slow", I explain. "Make sure that she's okay emotionally. She's my friend so I want to make sure it goes okay for her".
"Trust me, I'll use all my best moves", Beaver smirks at the both of us. "Alright see you guys! I've gotta go find a condom and get back before she thinks I forgot about her".
"Good luck man", Cappie pats him on the back.
When Beaver's gone me and Cappie snicker to ourselves.
"Wow", I laugh.
"Yeah I know, don't worry he won't be alone with the baby", Cap laughs.
"I just hope he knows how to use a condom properly", I laugh.
"Yeah surprisingly he's smart about the stuff that really counts, don't worry", Cappie jokes and I laugh.
"Maybe we'll stay down here for a bit. I'd rather not… hear whatever the hell is about to go on up there", I say awkwardly.
"You read my mind", Cappie laughs. "Want me to go see if I can find some ice cream?"
"Um obviously", I laugh and Cappie grins before getting up to go try and find us some dessert.
"Cap if we were having a boy I would seriously think about the names Ben and Jerry", I say with ice cream in my mouth. "To honour the greatest minds of our generation".
Cappie laughs at me then, holding his own carton of Ben and Jerry's half baked ice cream.
"The baby really likes sweet stuff huh?", Cappie laughs. "Frostys and ice cream are your main cravings".
"Oh and when I was in Chicago in the first trimester it was brownies and sweet tea", I smile. "When I wasn't throwing up those two things really hit the spot".
Cappie looks at me softly then, thinking. We're sitting in the KT living room, a lot of the guys now gone for the night to parties, just a few straggling around here near the pool table.
"I wish I could've been there to help you", Cappie looks at me, not angry with me, just sad.
I smile then, wanting to make him feel better.
"I was fine", I nod. "Depressed, sick, and terrified…"
I say that last part with a shake of my head and a scoff.
"But I made it through", I nod. "Going to work at my mom's office was the worst because I would have to get up every 30 minutes in the morning to go to the washroom to throw up. And then even after doing that the nausea still lasted all day".
My face turns into a grossed out expression then just thinking about the memory.
"My mom actually took me to the ER once in June to make sure that I was okay because for like 24 hours I could barely even keep crackers down. I didn't want to go but she insisted and they ended up having to give me fluids through an IV", I recount.
He looks at me sadly then.
Crap, I didn't say that to get pity from him. I was just trying to fill him in on the time he'd missed while I was too scared to tell him about the baby.
"I guess that's why your mom worries about you so much", Cappie says. "Because she's worried you're gonna be all alone and not have anyone to force you to go to the hospital when you're being stubborn and don't think you should go".
He gives me a semblance of a smirk then and I think about what he's said.
"Yeah I guess I didn't… think about it that way", I nod and then smile at him. "But if they really knew you Cap… they'd know that I'm well taken care of here".
His whole face turns into a grin then at my words.
"Not that I can't take care of myself and the baby on my own", I clarify, holding my finger up. "But having you around to help means a lot. The first trimester stuff was rough but… it was worth it".
"Yeah it was", He smiles and we continue to eat our ice cream.
I hear steps upstairs then, and as if on cue, Cappie meets my eyes, both of us wide eyed. We're pretty on edge to see how this thing with Beaver and Katherine goes. I'm pretty sure we were both just hoping Beaver didn't screw anything up with her.
I hear Katherine's laugh then and me and Cappie sit up, the stairs creaking as someone inevitably walks down.
"Oh!," Katherine appears then, looking startled by me and Cappie sitting there eating ice cream. "Well hello ZBZ! And Cappie of Kappa Tau".
Her hair is ruffled and she looks flustered.
"Hi Katherine", I stammer awkwardly.
"Yeah hey, how's it going?", Cappie nods.
"Well… I'm sure you've heard but if you haven't… me and Beaver just consummated our relationship", She sighs, smile on her face. "Just in case you were wondering".
"I wasn't but-", Cap starts but I give him a look, cutting him off.
"That's a big deal Katherine, you're okay right?", I confirm with her.
"Yes of course I'm okay", She smiles. "I just came down because I left my purse down here, silly me".
She searches around.
"You've gotta be careful around here, KT's are like police dogs, they can sniff out money and anything else valuable that they can get their hands on", Cappie laughs, evidently feeling awkward.
"You're right, my mind is just out to lunch today", She laughs, shaking her head. "Ah! Here it is".
She pulls out a roll of condoms from her purse.
"Oh wow!", I let out, Katherine startling me slightly with the sheer amount of them.
"You guys need some energy bars or anything to go with those?", Cappie laughs and I jab his side.
"Thanks for the offer, but these are grape flavoured. We'll have enough to snack on", She gives us both a knowing look, and she goes to climb up the stairs again, before looking back. "See you later!"
"Yeah- yeah", I nod, stuttering awkwardly. "See you Katherine".
"Have fun!", Cap yells to her as she runs upstairs.
Me and Cappie's eyes meet and once she's out of earshot we can't help but burst out into laughter.
"Oh. My. God", I laugh.
"She's very… open", Cappie smirks. "I like her style though. I remember as a young freshman you were more of a cherry flavoured girl though…"
He trails off, his face mischievous as I look at him surprised, my face going red.
"Oh god", I groan with a laugh. "Don't remind me".
"Remember that winter when we ran out of condoms in that snowstorm and we had to rough it to the campus convenience store?", Cappie recalls a freshman year memory.
"Oh my gosh, I haven't thought about that in forever", I giggle. "And remember when we got there and Officer Huck was checking out behind us?"
"Yep, that's me and Huck's origin story", Cappie grins. "He's had it out for me ever since".
"So awkward", I wince, face hot.
"I think it was fun", Cappie says, giving me a rueful shrug, grinning.
"You know… even though I made a huge mistake by dating Evan…", I sigh. "I was just doing it because of the sorority and Frannie. Once I got further away from that I realized I was just, I don't know... faking a personality because I thought it was who I should be. But my senior year, getting back together with you… I found myself again. Had fun again".
I smile at him, thinking about how much more fun I had when I finally just let myself be with Cappie over senior year rather than trying to be someone I'm not with Evan.
"Well", Cappie smiles. "That's why I always knew we could work out again. I never really gave up hope".
"No you didn't", I smile, speaking softly.
We look at each other then, locking eyes for a moment until Cappie breaks the eye contact, shaking his head and getting up.
"I'm gonna… take these back to the freezer before they melt", Cappie says awkwardly, grabbing both ice creams from the coffee table.
"Good idea", I nod.
I sit there alone now, my heart pounding for some reason, this whole talk making me nervous, but also exhilarated.
I sit back then.
It's just Cappie, I remind myself. And you're supposed to be on your best behaviour for the baby. And that doesn't exactly include reminiscing about being our young and in love selves.
I lean back into the couch, even with the duct tape keeping it together it was comfortable. I yawn.
"You look like you're tired", Cappie comes back, startling me slightly as I've just about drifted off for a moment.
I wake myself up, batting my eyelashes.
"No, I'm good", I nod with a smile.
"You sure? It's been a really long day for you", Cappie stands above me. "You can lay down on my bed if you want. It's not the Ritz but…"
I laugh at him then.
"Yeah, um okay", I nod. "Maybe just for a bit and then I should drive back".
"I can walk you back too if you're too tired to drive", Cappie offers as I get up and we walk up the stairs.
My levels of tiredness are crazy lately.
"Thanks", I nod and make my way down the hall and open the door to Cap's room.
"Oh um…", Cappie says suddenly then, remembering something.
I open the door to find a stroller put together, a box and styrofoam strewn in the corner beside it.
"Shit, sorry. I wanted to surprise you with it but…", He laughs slightly.
"Cap!", I turn around to look at him, taken aback, grinning. "How did you know this was the one-"
"The one you wanted?", He finishes my sentence as I go over to look at the stroller. "I saw it on your laptop… I wasn't snooping or anything, believe me".
I look back to see him laugh.
"I was sitting beside you one night and saw you looking at it online and… well you keep saying we need to shop for stuff and you've been stressed about it so-", He rambles but I cut him off by leaning up on my tip toes to hug him, my arms around his neck.
"Thank you Cap", I look back at him, tears in my eyes, every little thing making me emotional lately.
"It's really no problem", He shrugs it off, smirking. "If you can believe it, it was actually the first time I followed a manual. Beaver helped a bit… okay not much but he wanted advice for his date so in exchange for that he tried to help".
I giggle then.
"It's perfect", I smile, moving it back and forth.
"Still tired?", He asks me.
"Yeah", I yawn and go walk over to his bed, laying down as the bed springs creak. "But don't worry I'm not gonna fall asleep, I just have to rest my eyes for a bit".
"Okay", He nods, looking like he's stifling a grin, looking at me intently.
"What?", I look at him confused.
"Nothing, I just… I guess I'm just thinking that this'll be what it's like when we move into the apartment next week", He says.
I scrunch my nose, giving him a look.
"Except we'll each have our own beds", I hold my finger up, matter of fact. "Which we will strictly be sticking to".
"Oh of course", He nods, giving me a mischievous smile.
"I'm serious Cap", I look at him sternly, but I can't help the smile taking form on my mouth making my cheeks hot.
"Okay", He nods and sits down on his bed, giving me a look that says he still doesn't believe me.
I glare over at him then.
"Hey, I just know you and I know your pregnancy hormones", He laughs. "And I don't think you're going to last that long before you're begging me to-"
"Fine", I groan. "We'll see how it goes".
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. No promises but… you're probably right", I sigh. "It's gonna happen, inevitably, knowing us".
"I don't see the problem with it", He grins at me with a shrug.
"Me neither but Evan and Ashleigh, and probably Rusty… and my parents", I sigh and then laugh. "And probably therapists around the world… would most likely disagree".
"Eh", Cap shrugs. "I've never been one to follow the rules".
"Yeah I know", I laugh.
Of course I knew that. He'd dragged me along with him freshman year breaking the rules, being young, having fun 24/7. And it had been the best year of my life up until senior year which somehow was even better.
Even if people didn't approve, Cappie made my life better and if I felt that way I didn't think that I should have to listen to anyone else about it.
"Relax now Case", Cappie whispers to me, his hand on my knee and then he lays down beside me, on his side of the bed. We laid there just like old times last year.