a/n: Listen, life. My life derailed this fic. Sorry. Imma try to do better.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"How's the assignment going?" Casey asked, pulling Chuck out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Chuck hummed, looking up at Casey.

"Christ, you look like a lovestruck calf," Casey muttered.

It had been a week of Chuck and Sarah living in the suburbs, and they were back at work on a Monday morning. Chuck had come downstairs the previous morning to Sarah cooking breakfast. She had cooked breakfast for him before. He had cooked breakfast for her before. But that morning, it seemed both were thinking of the possibilities of what could be.

"I don't know if I want to give up being a CIA officer," Sarah said, sliding the eggs from the skillet onto Chuck's plate. "It's all I've ever really known."

"Okay," Chuck replied, tasting the eggs. "These are delicious."

She kissed him lightly on the lips and turned back to the stove. "I mean, some stuff I could see giving up."

"Seduction missions?" he asked. Sarah shrugged cutely. "Fine, then I don't give up seduction missions." She spun and stared at him. "I was joking, I am never seducing anyone again." Her eyebrow arched. "Except you, of course."

"Of course," Sarah told him. "Yes, Chuck, I'm done with that now, so I don't have to give it up." Chuck opened his mouth to say something about if you have to give it up then you didn't do the seduction mission right. He saw the look on her face, and clamped his jaw shut, making her giggle. "I mean, lots of married people are still CIA officers."

"Why couldn't we keep doing what we're doing?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked shocked at the suggestion. "I mean, we're good at what we do."

"Damn good," Sarah agreed. "There just may come a day when I can't do the physical stuff, so maybe we will migrate to being team leads. Have others in the field."

"Are you feeling okay, do you need to see a doctor?" Chuck asked, with growing concern. She shook her head as she grinned. "Sarah, you're in amazing physical shape. The day you can't do physical stuff… I'll be in the grave."

"What kinda physical stuff we talking… Chuck?" she asked, clicking the k and taking a bite of bacon. Chuck's eyelids fluttered. "Are you flashing?"

"No, trying not to pass out from all of this," he admitted, making her laugh.

"Well, if that has you trying not to pass out, I probably shouldn't say what I was thinking about," Sarah told him as she turned back to the stove. She counted down in her head from ten, until she heard Chuck's fork hit the plate. "I mean, I couldn't be in the field if I was pregnant."

Chuck looked around, having heard something, pulling him out of his thoughts. Casey was glaring at him. "I said, mo… Chuck," Casey corrected himself. "You know what? Never mind. I'm going to assumed by the look on your face everything is great with the assignment, and you don't need to run talk to Devon."

Casey went back to work, but felt something wrong in the room. He looked up and saw horror on Chuck's face. "Bartowski," Casey began, nearly pleading.

"I'llbeback!" Chuck shouted, jumping up and running out of the building.

The office door opened to reveal Sarah, staring at the space previously occupied by Chuck. She turned her gaze on Casey. "I swear, all I said is it looked like he had a good weekend!" Casey said, trying to defend himself. Sarah slammed the door to her office shut. "I hate this damn assignment," Casey nearly whined.

}o{

"Chuckst-" Devon began as he walked into the lounge to find Chuck sitting there.

"First she didn't want kids, now she thinks she might want to be Molly's mom, but she isn't sure, and now she's talking about having kids, my kids," Chuck rushed out. Devon's eyes widened. "Devon, she's being sucked in."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Devon said, his hands up in front of him as he tried to process the onslaught of information being tossed at him at a million miles an hour. "What do you mean, sucked in?"

"I mean, that… place!" Chuck said, gesturing in the direction of the suburbs, many miles away. "It's affecting her."

"Of course it is," Devon said. Chuck blinked. "Chuckster, why do you think it's such a big deal for people to go to a wedding together?"

Chuck blinked, trying to figure out how that was similar. "I don't get it."

Devon sighed. "Chuckster, you're smart, and you're trying to protect the woman you love."

"I am," Chuck agreed.

"You're over doing it." Chuck's jaw dropped. "Listen to me carefully, because this I get, dating your sister. She never had that family, then she met mine, and they're a lot."

"I sort of think you're downplaying them, if I'm honest," Chuck replied.

"You're probably right," Devon agreed. "What I do know is you live your life, and you process what you see by what you know. You view things through the lens created by the things you've done and seen. Sarah is seeing all the possibilities; possibilities she probably hasn't seen since she was a little girl."

"Okay, that I get, but how can you possibly mean I'm over doing it?"

"Chuck, you are trying to protect her… but from who?" Devon asked.

"From those people," Chuck said. Devon raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I hear it, that sounded bad. Fine, those suburbanites? Is that the right word?"

"It works," Devon said. "What has she said that has you worried? Did she mention kids?" Chuck nodded. "Has she mentioned kids before?" Chuck was silent and thoughtful for a second, then nodded. "So, the question is, Chuck, are you protecting her from herself? Or are you actually protecting you?"

"What?" Chuck asked.

"Are you now seeing everything that can be, and now she might be in a place where you're not ready?"

Chuck sat there. "Am I the villain?" Awesome laughed. "I mean, am I?"

"No, Chuckster, no," Devon told him. "But, think about it: you are in a relationship with a woman who has… issues,with her feelings."

"She doesn't like to admit they exist," Chuck said.

"And you have feelings coming out of you for days," Devon continued.

"That's true," Chuck replied.

"So what you did, consciously or unconsciously, is put your feelings and thoughts in check. And now that she's experiencing her feelings, you're in the odd place of what do I want? Does this scare me?"

Chuck was silent for a moment. "Kids do scare me," Chuck told him.

"No, they don't," Devon replied. He was silent, just watching Chuck.

Chuck locked eyes with Devon, and when he spoke, he did so softly. "Ellie have the same fears?" Devon nodded. "But she raised me."

"But she must wonder, how far does the apple fall from the tree? Did she stay and raise you because she had no choice? If in the position of her mother or her father, would she make a similar choice?" Devon and Chuck sat there in silence for a bit. "What are you thinking?"

"That we all come to relationships with all sorts of baggage. And some of it, even when we think we know what that baggage is, we really don't," Chuck answered. "I think this is one of those times I'm talking to the wrong person."

"That, I agree with," Devon told him. They both stood, and Devon pulled him into a hug. "For the record, you will be a fine father. You aren't him, and you aren't her."

"Ellie knows she's not them, right?" Chuck asked as they separated.

"She does now," Devon told him. "Then…" He winced, making Chuck laugh.

"There's a reason you're awesome, you know that, right?" Chuck asked. Devon chuckled and watched Chuck leave.

}o{

Sarah opened the door to the house, worried. She had gotten his text that he was heading home and would see her there. She found it interesting he was calling the place in the suburbs home. Was it because he was keeping up the cover? Was it because he felt like it was a home? And if so, why? Those questions worried Sarah, and excited her, all at the same time. She walked into the house, and her worries faded away. There were no overhead lights on, just the ridiculous number of lights from the Christmas tree and other lights that weaved through the garland around the house.

Light instrumental Christmas music was playing. Chuck was sitting on the couch, a content smile on his face, watching the Christmas tree. "Hi," she said softly. He turned to her, and the smile grew into her smile. The one that made her knees weak. The one that screamed "I LOVE YOU!" and "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME!" There were times seeing it made her want to cry tears of joy.

"Hey," he said softly, standing. "I made some hot chocolate. Do you want some?" She nodded, and he started to the kitchen before he turned, and puting one arm around her, gently held her back and lightly kissed her forehead. She took his cup from his hands, placed it on the table, grabbed his cheeks and kissed him as if life depended on it.

}o{

"Okay, that was unexpected," Chuck said sometime later. He looked over at her, and her contented grin. "Your look like you're sort of gloating… but you know what, gloat on. You deserve it."

"You can gloat too, if you want," she told him, making him laugh. She waited for him to sober up. "You know, you can talk to me. I get there are some things you need to talk to Devon about, but… I am here for you."

"Oh, I know," Chuck assured her. "And-and I want to apologize to you."

"Apologize for what?" Sarah asked. "I already said I get going to talk to Devon."

"It's not that," Chuck told her. "It's that… would it be fair to say that one of us in this relationship is more in touch with their feelings than the other?"

"If you mean one of us embraces them, and the other tries with all her might to ignore them? Probably," Sarah agreed, making him chuckle.

"I've been ignoring my own feelings," Chuck began. He stopped as a worried look crossed her face. "This is not me breaking up with you, please know that."

"Okay," Sarah said.

"In fact, I'm not sure I ever get to break up with you," Chuck continued. A smile flickered across her face, and one began to grow on his. "We both know a restraining order wouldn't mean anything."

"You're the one who fell in love with a spy," Sarah said with a shrug.

"So it's all my fault?" Sarah nodded. "Fair," Chuck replied. Sarah snorted, and let her forehead fall against his shoulder. "I worry about the man I'll be some day." She lifted her head, shock written across her face. "All I know about parenting, is what not to do. All I know is not to leave my kids. All I know is you can't go too far for love."

"And that's the important parts," Sarah said.

"Is it?" Chuck asked. She pulled her chin back, surprised. "Sarah, how do I know, in the same situation my parents were in, that I won't do exactly what they did? How do I know my family doesn't have some… gene, that makes me predetermined to run when things get too complicated? How do I know that I can do this?"

"How do I know I can?" Sarah countered.

"Come on, Sarah," Chuck said. "You saved a baby. That's freaking momma-bear mentality, right there. And, you've babysat me through this whole thing."

"Chuck, that is not the same thing," Sarah told him.

"Yeah, you're right… you shouldn't leave a toddler or baby in a car alone and unsupervised," Chuck continued.

"Chuck." He turned to her. "Chuck Bartowski, you are the kindest person I know. You should have hate in your heart, for all the things that happened to you. And instead… instead you have love… you believe in people. You are not your parents, and if you can't be a good father, then what chance have I with being a good mother?"

He sat there quietly. "I'm just scared."

"God, I've never been more scared," Sarah admitted. "But… I've got you, and I feel like between you and I…"

"It's gonna be so hard, Sarah, so hard," Chuck told her.

"Well, so what?" Sarah said with a shrug. Chuck looked at her, shocked. "I mean, we knew this wasn't gonna be easy, and we're not getting married because we thought life was easy. We're getting married so that we could be there for each other when things get tough. So we could work through things, together."

"I love you, Sarah."

"I love you, Chuck."

"If you want to have kids – with me – I'm willing, but…"

"Is it okay if we wait a while?" Sarah asked.

"God yes!" he replied, making her laugh.

}o{

He awoke later, blinking. "You're awake," Sarah said. She was down at the foot of the bed, and ohmygod she was wearing black lingerie.

"I'm sorry," Chuck blurted out. "I try and be more respectful in my dreams but apparently there's a side of me that… why are you crawling like that to me? I'm dreaming, and you shouldn't be… Sarah?"

"It's no dream, Chuck," Sarah told him, over top of him at this point. She licked her lips, and Chuck thought he would pass out from the sudden reallocation of blood in his body. "And for the record, I need to know about these dreams, so I can better recreate them."

"And why would you do that?" Chuck asked, his mouth dry.

"Because, you beautiful sexy nerd…" she began.

"I don't know if I've ever been spoken to like that before, and good Lord if it is not the hottest thing I've ever heard," he blurted out.

"…because I've decided something," Sarah told him.

"And what's that?" he asked softly, lost in her eyes.

She was smiling softly at him. "Chuck, I think it's time we admit some things."

"I'll admit anything, just tell me what I need to admit," he blurted out.

"Before I met you, I thought that at best I'm just a spy. At worst, I'm a killer," Sarah began. Chuck remained silent. "So, if I'm a killer, then we are going to kill this relationship."

"Do you mean kill it dead, or we're so good, we're killing it?" Chuck asked.

"The second," she said. "Sorry, you know sometimes I'm not the best with words."

"I think you're doing an amazing job," Chuck told her.

"Are you going to keep talking, or am I going to get to the part where I'm wearing this?" Chuck mimed zipping his lips. "I'm gonna need you to unzip those later, if you know what I mean." He couldn't stop the moan, and that made her grin. She took her right hand, grabbed his left wrist, and pinned it gently against the bed. Chuck looked at it, and then at her. She grinned. He put his right hand in the same place on the other side of the bed, and she pinned it there with her left.

She leaned down and kissed him gently. "Chuck," she said softly. "I don't know about kids, about a family, or about anything domestic like that. But I do know that together, you and I, we can figure out anything."

"So do I," Chuck replied. "Now, maybe we take a weird way to get there."

"The weirdest," Sarah agreed.

"But damn it, it's our way!" Chuck said.

"Right!" Sarah said. Chuck lay there, quiet. "I know we have some plans about getting married."

"I mean, at this point I thought we had pretty much decided to get married on the beach with Devon and Ellie," Chuck said.

"I feel like we're stealing their moment," Sarah told him.

"What are you saying?" Chuck asked. She grinned at him.

}o{

Earlier that day

Ellie opened the door to find Sarah, a furious look on her face. "Did I do that, or my dumb brother?"

"Neither. It's this damn assignment," Sarah said, walking into Ellie's apartment. "God, Ellie, I want… thatso badly. And I know he's over with Devon right now, saying that I'm getting caught up in the whole living in the suburbs thing."

"Aren't you?" Ellie asked.

"Of course I am," Sarah replied. "But not in the way he thinks. Jesus Christ, is it so awful that sometimes I just want to be a normal girl!?"

"Damn it, you won the bet, Ellie," came a voice down the hallway. Sarah turned to see Honey and Mary walking towards the two younger women. "I was sure you'd make it past Christmas," Honey said.

"I figured you'd make it through the mission, and then you'd lose it," Mary said. "We've got to bury our feelings for the good of our country."

"Country comes first," Honey said to Mary. "The service we provide, the lives we save, that's what's important. Not what we sacrifice."

"You two would make the worst recruiting officers ever," Ellie said to the older women.

"I'm just so tired of it all," Sarah said. "Not only do I have to deal with what any woman must in a normal relationship, it's my job to protect the man I love from who knows what, and he's got a damn computer in his head. I finally get a few days, living a normal life. I start to enjoy it, want more, and he thinks it's the suburbs doing it to me."

"What do you want to do?" Honey asked Sarah.

"I want to marry him. I want to be married. I want to know after coming home from saving the world – or the greater Burbank area – that I'm coming home to my nerd. That he's going to be fussing over something he spilled on the stove, or how a comic book has him just worried to death about who might die, or that it's being adapted into a TV show or movie."

"Then do it," Ellie said.

"I am, with you and Devon," Sarah told Ellie.

"That's not what you want," Ellie told her. "You want to marry him right now."

"Let's say I do," Sarah said. "I'm supposed to just convince him to go off and marry me? Between his parents who have come back, his sister who raised him, and his bearded friend, who I really believe not only has a proposal plan, but a complete wedding planned, I'm supposed to just go off and marry him?"

"Yes!" came the answer from the three women.

Sarah looked around the room at all of them, and then back at Ellie. "And you're okay with this?"

"Am I okay that the woman, who loves my brother the way he deserves to be loved, wants to marry my little brother? Now? And not wait? Am I okay that the woman who has gotten him to be the best version of himself wants to be wed to him? Of course I am!" Ellie had Sarah's biceps in her hands as she said the last of that.

"Sarah, you deserve happiness," Mary told her.

"We," Honey said, indicating herself and Mary, "understand everything you are saying."

"So, I just go get him and marry him? Just like that?" Sarah asked.

"You probably should ask him first," Mary replied.

"But wear something sexy when you ask him," Honey suggested.

"He's never going to want to elope," Sarah groused.

"Make a deal with him," Ellie said. "Tell him you'd like to get married now, and then have a public ceremony later on into the spring or summer."

"Just not when you're getting married, because it's your day, and I don't want to take away from it," Sarah told Ellie. Ellie pulled Sarah into a hug. "You deserve your day," Sarah insisted.

"Mom, I'm getting the sister I always wanted," Ellie told Mary.

}o{

Now

"So, Chuck… what do you think?" Sarah asked, leaning down to kiss him.

a/n: You're….you're just gonna leave it here?

ChuckQuinn: I do whatever the hell I want.