A/N: This is an 'explanation' chapter so most of it is dialogue.

Chapter 16

"I had woken up in the middle of the night to the room being dark. I couldn't remember when I had fallen asleep, or even when I had felt that rested. My heart felt a bit lighter than it had in a long time and then it had hit me. I had asked you to let me go and you had said yes. A feeling of relief had passed through me. I knew it was hard for you Ginny, and thinking back now, I hated that I had put you in the position. But you really were the only thing that had been keeping me there. Your presence was the only light I could see."

"Then why did you leave Harry?" She cried. "I could have helped you."

"You had to go back to Hogwarts."

"Screw Hogwarts! You were more important." She exclaimed.

"No. No, you had to go back Ginny." He said. "You needed to go back, and I needed to leave. I know I was all wrapped up in my own pain and misery, but I knew you were suffering too. You needed to go back to Hogwarts, finish your education, find some kind of new normal."

"That wasn't your decision, Harry."

"It wasn't, you're right." He paused as he watched her. Not able to explain to her why it was important to him that she find that normalcy. He had been unable to find his own, too haunted by the ghosts of the past of the war to be able to. He didn't want that for her.

"It was really hard to actually do the leaving part, I want you to know that." He continued. "You looked so peaceful lying there sleeping. My heart told me to just stay there with you. Just grab a blanket and cover us both while I curl into you and just let you keep me safe. But I had to go, I couldn't stay anymore. All the death, the war, demands, everything. It was all around me, it was too much, and I couldn't take it any longer.

"So, I found a piece of parchment and wrote you a note. And I put it under the pillow along with my invisibility cloak and map. I had thought of taking them with me, but something told me to leave it. I wanted you to have it with you. Even though Voldemort was gone, and for all intents and purposes you were safe, I still wanted you to have it for protection. In the event that something did happen. I wanted you to be able to get away."

"I still have them, Harry. I keep them in a locked drawer in my bedroom. I wanted to keep them safe for you."

"I'm glad. It will be nice to pass them on to Evelyn when she goes to Hogwarts."

"I can only imagine the mischief she will get up to with the other Weasleys."

"They'll put both the Marauders and Weasley twins to shame." They both laughed, the image of trouble the whole lot of them would get into.

"So, I left that for you. I didn't bother to grab anything else. I didn't really know what I would need. Most of my stuff was still at Grimmauld place anyways. Ron and Hermione in their haste to get me out had left almost everything. I just went downstairs, and grabbed my wand from the hiding place Ron thought I didn't know about and just left."

"You knew where he hid your wand?"

"Of course I did. It wasn't exactly the cleverest of places. Hiding in the back of the top shelf in the kitchen? I mean, come on."

Ginny laughed. "I think he was banking on you being too short to be able to reach. Hermione tried reminding him that you may be short but you're awfully resourceful, but he didn't listen."

"Yes well, jokes on him because I did get it, and then I left the house. Once outside the wards I apparated away. I wasn't sure where I was going but I somehow found myself in Surrey, right outside of the Dursleys. It was nighttime still and I didn't fancy waking them up, so I just sat on the front porch and watched the sun rise.

"I don't know how but I ended up inside, in my old room. I woke up to see Dudley sitting next to my bed. He said he found me when he opened the door for the paper, just sitting there all dazed off. I just nodded at him and said thank you. I think I was in that room for a couple of weeks."

"How is that? Ron and the others went to search their house. It was still empty. We thought they hadn't moved back yet, if they were ever planning on it." Ginny interrupted.

"Yeah, Kingsley told me that they had moved back but they didn't want anything to do with us ever again. So, he placed them under the Fidelius charm, and also a Wizard repelling charm." He answered. She looked thoughtful.

"I didn't even know there was a Wizard repelling charm. Does it work like the Muggle one?" He nodded yes.

"He was the secret keeper. He gave me the address despite Vernon's wishes because Kinglsey felt I wasn't just a Wizard, I was their family." Harry laughed a bit at that. "If only he knew there was no difference to my uncle. I have no idea how I bypassed the wizard repelling charm though.

"My Uncle Vernon was so mad when he found out I was there. He screamed and yelled, but Dudley said that I was to stay there. I only got up to use the loo, otherwise I stayed in bed. Dudley attempted so many times to get me to get up, and my aunt would bring me food, but I barely touched it. It was strange. I had spent my entire childhood desperate to get out of that place, but those few weeks I was there, I had felt so safe. I won lie, it had taken what little willpower I had to not just slip into my cupboard and stay there for the rest of my life."

"Harry…"

"I could feel myself descending into madness. That's a feeling I will never be able to describe, and I hope you will never have to feel. Knowing you were going mad. But Dudley had been very kind. He would spend hours talking to me. He brought a TV in, and we would sit there on my tiny bed and watch. Well...he'd watch…I'd be…"

"Going crazy?"

"Yeah. When I had finally left, it was out of desperation if anything. My Uncle had been drinking, I suspect. He was downstairs ranting and raving about this and that. The ministry had been able to fix it, so Vernon still had his job, he even got a promotion with a huge pay raise, but he was still angry about the year they had been in hiding, and he coped with it by drinking in excess. Then the subject of me came up. I heard Dudley yell at him to lay off me and leave me alone. But Vernon didn't listen. I heard his footsteps come up the stairs and he pounded into my room. I felt sick then, my heart was pounding and suddenly felt like a little kid again about to be punished. I couldn't move at first as I was paralyzed with fear."

Harry stopped and covered his face with his left hand, taking a few deep breaths. He hated that just talking about it upset him. He hated that just the memory of his childhood would still bring up the fear that was rooted deep inside of him, the fear he had lived with for so much of his youth. He had faced down the most evil wizard in centuries, and yet his uncle instilled more fear in him than Voldemort ever had.

"He stepped over to my bed and I looked up at him, frightened as he looked down at me. He had said he was tired of my lazy ways. And that I've been nothing but a burden to them since the day I was left there. I've brought dangers to their lives, and he'd had enough of that. And then he raised his fist and brought it down upon me. I curled up in a ball at the pain. He just kept hitting me, I could hear Dudley and Aunt Petunia in the background shouting at him, but he was furious, and he was drunk. He picked up anything he could and started beating me with it. It was worse than anything he had done to me as a child. I could feel myself growing weaker and the pain was just increasing.

"With one last effort I had grabbed my wand from under my pillow and disapperated away. I had landed hard on some pavement someplace. I didn't know where I was, I didn't really care to be honest. All I knew was I hurt a lot, and it was raining very hard. I remember, sitting on the ground next to the building I was by, the rain pounding down on me. There must have been some hail as well because it stung a bit, though it could just be the water on my split skin. I was so cold. But nothing else seemed to register.

I don't remember much of anything after that. I had gotten up at some point and began wandering around, but after that, nothing. For months. Things come back now and then, snippets, hazy visions. Everything your brother said I presume was true, based on what I was told by my doctor later.

"You mentioned a letter you had received from me."

"Yes, on Christmas. It came during dessert. It was the last time we had heard from you." She told him.

"Yes, Well, the thing is, I do remember writing it, but I never sent it Ginny."

"What do you mean?"

"I was in a muggle hospital, on the psych ward. I had no access to an owl. Which didn't matter anyways. I wrote the letter and then I…"

"You what?" She asked him. Harry stared at her concern; her brows furrowed. He looked away from her, unable to witness the horror he was sure would show as he said the next part.

"Then I slit my wrists."

"Oh, god Harry…" She gasped out. Tears sprang from her eyes as she covered her mouth in horror. He hated seeing her that way. He never wanted to see her in such a state of pain and horror. He berated himself internally that perhaps he should have left out that part. But he had already confessed it to Ron and Hermione and Andromeda's warning of it coming back to Ginny later by someone else rang in his ears.

"It's ok Ginny. I'm ok now." He soothed, reaching out for her hand again. She grasped it tightly as he ran circles on it with his thumb.

"I just…didn't that place have some kind of precautions or something? To prevent you from doing that?"

"They do Ginny but it's not like they could use a charm to prevent someone from harming themselves." He told her. "Luckily they do have checks in place, and I thankfully was not entirely there in the head, so it wasn't planned out very well and they saved me."

Harry paused for a moment, debating with himself on whether to show her or not. He was embarrassed by them and hated them. They symbolized the time in his life when he was at his lowest. But looking over at her, watching her as she sat against the couch with rapt attention, he knew he had to. He didn't want secrets between them. He wanted to be with her and start a life with her. For that to happen he had to share everything with her, even his darkest shame. After he made the decision with himself, he gave a slight nod and with shaking hands he raised his arm a bit and pulled up the sleeves of his shirt. First his right than his left. She gasped and reached for his wrist staring horrified at them. Harry felt disgusted at himself and had to look away. There upon his pale skin were slice marks. Multiple ones, faded slightly by the years but still visible and glaring angrily at those who spied them. Marked from his wrist up to the crook of his arm.

"Oh Harry." She whispered horrified. A few tears escaped her eyes.

"Please don't cry Ginny. You have to know, I didn't mean to, at least I don't think I did. I don't even remember doing it. I'm not like that anymore." He was desperate for her to believe him. He was better now, and he needed her to believe him. With her own nod, she brought his wrist to her lips and put a soft kiss on it. When her lips touched his skin, it felt like electricity shot through him. Relief flooded him. He knew she wasn't okay with what he had done, nobody could be, but he knew that she still loved him despite his past self-destruction.

"I know Harry. Please. Continue." She said, as she leaned back again, still gripping his hand. Harry nodded and cleared his throat, lowering the sleeves of his shirt once again to cover the angry marks.

"Well, like I said I don't remember much of the hospital, or the transfer to the asylum. I was there for at least six months before I snapped out enough to know what was going on. I must admit, I was so scared. I just woke up one day and I was in this white mostly bare room. There were bars on the wall, locks on the door. There were no personal effects. I didn't know where I was. So many scenarios, all bad, ran through my head then.

I stared and sat there for a long time. I don't know how long but I must have, well, gone out for lack of a better term, again sometime after that. The next time I 'woke up' I was sitting on a couch and a man was asking me questions. He was dressed as a doctor, well that's because he was. I asked him who he was. He jumped slightly and looked really shocked that I had spoken, and said he was Doctor Kore. And then I went out again.

Time followed like that for a while. According to Dr Kore I went in and out like that for a few months before I was fully aware of everything. I would come back to myself for a few moments before losing my grip on reality again. Though each time I came back it was a little longer than the last. He explained to me that I just shut down, he called it being catatonic. My body kept on living and going through the motions, but my mind had retreated and just stopped living in the present. It scared me so much to think of all the time I had lost and everything I didn't remember. It still does. I get flashes still, of things that happened, of my time in the hospital, but there's no real sequence of events. It's all jumbled and it's frightening.

"There are ways to recall those times, Harry. They have mind healers that specialize in that at St Mungos."

Harry shook his head. "I don't think I actually want to remember Ginny. From what I do remember, the feelings, the thoughts, my…actions. I don't want to relive that.

"Dr Kore, he assured me that I was well taken care of there. That it was a very reputable hospital. When I asked how I got here, he wouldn't tell me much. He just said I had an anonymous patron who insisted that I be placed here and taken care of. It was a private institution and not to worry about anything, my 'patron' was taking care of everything."

"A 'patron'?" Ginny asked, confused. "Who do you think it could be?"

"I don't know, I didn't think much about it or this mysterious person. Then or now. I didn't really want to. Once I snapped out of it, I began getting better. Dr Kore informed me that his sister was a Witch and that he knew of the war and other things. He knew who I was."

"Who was his sister?"

"I don't know. I never asked." Harry said. Ginny gave a frustrated eye roll that caused him to smirk.

"You didn't ask a lot of questions, did you?"

"Yes, well, I thought we already established I wasn't right in the head there. Logic and rational thinking aren't what us crazy people are known for."

"Harry…" She said, clearly not liking that he joked about it. He wanted to explain that making jokes about it was his way of dealing with the trauma of what happened to him but decided now was not the time.

"My first thought after he told me was to leave. To run. But he assured me that he hadn't told anyone who I was, or where I was and that he wouldn't. Not even his sister. He explained the doctor/patient confidentiality laws and that while my mysterious patron was handling the financial side, my treatment and what I say and do will not be given to them.

He paused as a look of skepticism crossed her face for a moment before she schooled to a more neutral expression. He knew there were ways that his patron or any other magical being could extract or collect the information. But he didn't think of it then, and he didn't want to think of it now. Dr. Kore had helped him greatly and he refused to think ill of the man.

"It took time, but I eventually came to trust him. I told him everything. Everything from as far back as I could remember all the way to 'waking up' in the hospital. I told him about the abuse by the Dursleys, the eternal loneliness I had felt until Hagrid came and gave me my Hogwarts letter. I told him about finding out I was a wizard and going to Hogwarts, about making my first friend ever and my first presents ever at Christmas. I told him everything that happened at Hogwarts, from the sorcerer's stone right up to Dumbledore's death. And of course, the war."

Harry paused, taking a few deep breaths as Ginny rubbed his hand soothingly.

"I told him about the voices, and the people, and the death." Ginny looked up at that statement, but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking as his vision had clouded, and he was back in the past. Seeing the dead, hearing their voices. He closed his eyes tight against the visions as they seemed to fly back at him as if he were still there. Suddenly he couldn't breathe, and his heart rate increased as he became lost, drowning again.

But a gentle touch to his face brought him back and he opened his eyes to see Ginny in front of him, concerned in her eyes. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and quickly inhaled again, his lungs burning at the feel. Ginny didn't say anything as she stroked his cheek with her thumb, anchoring him to the present.

"Breathe Harry. You're ok." She soothed. "You're not there anymore."

"You don't understand. I would hear them and see them. In and outside of my head. The screams of the people around me. They would be screaming in horrible pain and anger. They'd be blaming me for not doing something sooner. For not working faster. For not killing him earlier. I could smell the smoke and see their dead bodies every time I closed my eyes, and it wouldn't go away once I opened them. They were always there. They hadn't left, they wouldn't leave. They were always with me!"

He was breathing harder, tears were beginning to pour from his eyes. He suddenly looked at Ginny intently. "Do you understand Ginny? Why I had to go? They were all around me. It was every second. I couldn't escape it. I begged and begged for their forgiveness, but they never would give it. They wouldn't leave me alone" He grabbed her arms hard, almost painfully, but she didn't protest. "I was going crazy with it. I couldn't breathe, or see, or anything past it." Ginny wrangled free and put her hands on his.

"It's ok Harry. I understand." She said simply. Harry was shaking now and felt relief at her words course through him. He didn't think she fully understood, he didn't believe she ever could. But hearing the words seemed to calm him.

Breaking free from her he reached over and grabbed the bottle of wine and poured the rest into his glass and downed the whole thing in one drink to calm his nerves. 'Or maybe it's making it worse.' His mind supplied as he placed the empty glass harder than necessary onto the coffee table.

"He talked me through it all." Harry continued. "He really helped me. I'll be forever grateful to him for helping me live again. I was getting better, but there was one other thing I had to tell him, that I needed to talk about and work through. Something, I don't know how I would ever move on for. To this day it still haunts my thoughts. I told him about my journey, with Hermione and Ron, to destroy the Horcruxes. I told him about the six we had found and destroyed so we could kill Voldemort." Harry paused, "And then, I told him about the seventh."

"Seventh?" Ginny interrupted again looking very confused. "Ron and Hermione said there were only six." Harry swallowed hard and looked away.

"They only told you of six because we agreed to not share about the seventh. Ron and Hermione were concerned about what would happen if people found out about it. What it would mean for me if they did."

"Why? What would happen?" She asked him confused. "What was the seventh one?"

Harry looked away again. "Me. I was the seventh Horcrux."

"What?" She gasped, horrified.

"I was the seventh, the one he never meant to make. All those visions I had, the ability to speak parseltongue, everything involving Voldemort. It was because a part of him had been inside of me since I was one. Inside me Ginny. He was there, he was part of my mind and body, invading on me. This evil creature. This thing. Those objects we had to destroy. They were evil, they changed us when we took turns with the locket. And I was one of them. I put you all in danger." He cried. Ginny didn't know what to say.

"And I had this horrible fear, that even though Voldemort killed me, and supposedly destroyed it by using the Killing Curse, I was afraid it wasn't truly gone. That it was just disconnected from him. What if that was true? What if he is still there inside of me!"

Ginny leaped up from her seat and grabbed Harry an embrace so tight she could probably kill him. He felt his body shaking horribly and could feel wetness on her shoulder from his tears. She herself was crying and he hated that he had been the cause. Harry didn't know how long they sat like that. He just let himself be comforted by her as he fought his own mind from going back to that time, fought the panic that had begun to rise again. This was why he didn't ever want to talk about it. Yes, he had gotten better, he had gotten help, but bringing it back up was hard and he fought to remain detached and not slip back into that mindset as he told Ginny his story. He couldn't afford to take a step back. He had a daughter that needed him, and he needed to be sane and functional for her.

Eventually Ginny pulled away, leaning her forehead on his as she took a few calming breaths. "Harry, even if he is still with you, which I very highly doubt. It's very obvious that he has no control over you. You are the stronger person. You have nothing to fear from it, and if you ever do, if you ever find yourself thinking or feeling that you know you can come to us." She said soothingly. He just nodded. "You can't keep it bottled up Harry." She said. "Not again."

"I know. I'm sorry. I had never meant for it to get that bad. I just wanted to protect you all. I had failed so spectacularly in doing so. I thought, I could protect you from this…this thing that was inside of me."

"But you didn't fail Harry. I wish you could see that." She told him sadly. "You gave us the tools we needed to defend ourselves. You taught us how to protect ourselves and you gave us hope that a better future was possible."

"But it wasn't enough! Can't you see that!"

Ginny stared at him for a long moment before shaking her head. "There will never be 'enough' to prepare someone for war, Harry. I know you know that." She embraced him again and he let her. Harry knew she was right. There was only so much you could do to prepare, he knew that all he could do was give them the tools they needed and then it was up to them to use them and work upon them to better themselves. But knowing it doesn't stop the hurt he feels from it, from feeling like he hadn't done enough. "Do you want to stop for the night?" She asked him.

"No, I want to continue. I want you to know that truth. I love you and I at least owe you that." With that he took another moment to compose himself, a few stuttering breaths and a swig of wine seemed to help. She looked up at him encouragingly. "This is really hard for me to talk about Ginny. I know I owe Ron and Hermione explanations too, and I'll tell them whatever they want, but reliving it like this, I don't think I can do it again."

"You're not alone anymore Harry. I'll know the story now too. Don't worry about them, I'll help you. I promise."

Harry squeezed her hand, thankful to have her in his life again. "Dr Kore said basically the same thing as you. Though he did agree it was a valid fear. A very common one too apparently. Not having a piece of an evil guy's soul attached to you, but being invaded by something apparently is common. Like cancer, or an infection. It would be gone but some become paranoid that it's still there or back. Eventually I accepted it. That I was stronger than the supposed soul of his that could still be in me. Ron and Hermione were concerned that if the public found out I had been a horcrux, that in their fear, it would be decided it would be in the best interest of the public to destroy me. So, we all agreed to not divulge that information.

"A few months after I told him about the horcruxes he told me that he felt I was doing very well and that perhaps it was time for me to begin integrating back into the world. By that time, it was the end of September. Just over a year since I had left. He said he felt I made a lot of progress but that I still had a lot to go, but in the next few months he would be preparing me for outpatient treatment.

"I was frightened. I'd spent over half a year stuck in my own head, then another half here inside the safe walls of this building. But he was right. I kept thinking more and more about all of you. I did want to see you all again. I was working out my demons and getting better.

"Several months later I was placed in this group home called "Wavering Leaves". It was so beautiful there."

"What's a group home?" Ginny asked him.

"It's a kind of an in between place between the hospital and the real world. They have more freedom to come and go out of it, and are encouraged to do so, but they also have stricter rules and regulations than living out on your own, like a hospital. They also had things like group therapy to continue to help us."

"Makes sense. Sounds like a good place to be instead of jumping in headfirst." Ginny said. Harry nodded in agreement.

"There were all sorts of people there. Most people were like me though, recovering from mental health issues and had just gotten out of the hospital. I shared a room with this one guy who had a personality disorder that he was trying to get under control with new meds. I gotta say it was an interesting time there.

"I did all I could to get better. I participated in group and other activities and utilized the assistance that was provided there. I continued with my therapy with Dr Kore as well. By that time, they normally assigned you to a new therapist, but because of my 'special' circumstance of being a wizard, he kept me as a patient.

"It was here that I met Andrea."

Ginny held her breath for a moment. Harry looked over at her and gauged her reaction to that statement. "You met her in this halfway house?"

"Yeah. I did." He couldn't really tell what she was thinking, and he fidgeted for a moment before continuing.

"Andrea was a very solitary person. She was always sitting alone, eating alone, she didn't talk much in group. Nobody talked to her or bothered her except the staff, and she had liked it that way. We became friends by accident really.

"It started one evening when I went for dinner after a late session with Dr. Kore. The dining room was completely empty except for her. Despite all the rumors that went around I decided to go sit by her so I wouldn't have to eat alone. She was very standoffish and not big on conversation. I could respect that. We ate in silence, or I ate, and she played with her food. The silence was nice, especially after a session and not having to deal with conversation after. Everyone there just seemed to want to talk. Which, granted, was kind of the point on the road to recovery but as I'm sure you know, I like to silently brood too."

"Yes Harry, you are very well known for your brooding capabilities." Ginny teased. "If it were a sport, you'd be the champion."

"Haha Ginny." He laughed. "Anyways this went on for several weeks, but as the weeks progressed, we would say a little more to each other each meal. Somehow, in what little was said we had become friends. It was an easy friendship based on hardly any information which was nice. We weren't weighed down with things from the past that involved us both. We just had our own demons and that was our common bond.

"I found out later in one of our sittings that she was there because she wouldn't eat. I had noticed that she was a lot thinner than most of the others there, which was saying a lot since us crazy people didn't take much stalk in eating, or grooming, or really any sort of self-care now that I think about it, but who was I to comment? I was still a good 45lbs underweight myself. She was always on the defensive, always looking for the bad side of people. It's amazing I had gotten as far as I did.

"I did discover that she didn't have any family except for one aunt, who was the one who had put her in the hospital. She wasn't a very kind woman. She felt Andrea was a failure and that she needed to just, I don't know. She expected a lot from her that just wasn't in Andrea's nature.

"I also later found out, after we got out of the home, that her father had been an abusive alcoholic. He was horrible to her, did things to her. Ever since she was very very young. Her mother was a drug addict who prostituted herself out to earn money for her addictions. I couldn't imagine what it was like growing up. When she was 12 her father was murdered in front of her by a dealer who her mother owed money to. Her mother already died from an overdose a few months previous. "

"Oh Merlin. Please tell me you're joking." Ginny gasped out. Harry wished he could tell her that.

"Sadly no. That was her life. She was sent to her aunts who she didn't even know existed. Life was better there for her of course, better than before, but she couldn't live up to the expectations of her aunt. She expected Andrea to get perfect grades, dress perfectly at all times, become an important person in society and her school. It was too much for her and eventually she crashed. Having a predisposition for drug addiction didn't help her either.

"But back to before. I got out of the home by February. I had found an apartment just outside the town I was living in so I could stay close to continue my therapy. I was determined to get better. Every day I thought more and more about you all, wanting to come back, missing you all terribly. Especially you Ginny.

"Part of me was really afraid, which is kind of why it took me so long. Looking back on what happened later, I wish I would have just sucked it up and came back but I couldn't. I was afraid of going back to how I was. I was afraid that the war, while over for almost two years now, was still there. I wasn't ready to face that. I couldn't face all the destruction. So, I stayed where I was.

"It was there where I told you I met that woman with the kids. I had gotten a job nearby and rented a room from this woman. Her husband had left them a few years previous, and she had three young children. I would watch them for her occasionally and I found that I just loved the way they viewed the world, and how eager they were to learn things. I decided then to be a teacher. I wasn't quite sure how to go about going to school for it. I knew I had the money, but the school transcripts and things would be hard.

"Andromeda helped me with that. A few months into my stay at the halfway house I had gone to see her. After a session with Dr. Kore, I couldn't put that off any longer. I was Teddy's godfather. Even though I was a mess, and I knew he was safe in a loving home with his grandmother, I wanted him to know that someone else loved him and cared for him. So, I apparated to her house.

"It was really hard at first, she was my first real contact with the wizarding world in over a year, but she was so kind and patient. She understood my hesitation in returning and agreed not to tell anyone. I started making weekly visits to her house to see Teddy. He was growing so fast, and I felt so bad for missing so much of his life already. I was very glad he had Andromeda. She loved him so much that I knew he would be safe. He wouldn't grow up like me. But on one visit I had mentioned my idea of going to school to become a teacher. She thought it was a marvelous idea and she helped me get the appropriate paperwork from Professor McGonagall."

"McGonagall knew where you were?" Ginny interrupted again.

"No, she didn't. Andromeda wouldn't tell her. Just that she needed it for me. She also got the money from the Black vault for me to go to school. She was very helpful."

"Why didn't the professor say anything?" She demanded. "We saw her several times a year."

"It wasn't her place, Ginny. She can't actually say anything about a student's record. And besides, all she knew was that I needed my Hogwarts transcripts for a muggle school. What was there really to tell?" He explained calmly. Ginny nodded her understanding though she seemed agitated.

"Ginny-"

"I'm sorry, it's just, for someone who was supposedly missing, an awful lot of people knew where you were and what you were doing. People who knew us, who knew how much we missed you and how desperate we were to find you. She may not have known where you were, but she could have at least given us a little comfort by saying you had requested your Hogwarts transcripts. At least then we would have known for sure you were alive, and at least well enough to go back to school."

They sat in silence as her words hung between them. There was nothing he could say in their defense, nor were there any words he could say to sooth her anger. The fault was his and his alone, but he knew Ginny would never see it that way. None of them would. They view the actions of others on them, not on Harry, even if it was Harry's wish.

"I'm sorry Ginny." He said softly. He opened his mouth to say more but looking over Ginny's shoulders he startled at the figure who stood there. "What are you doing, up little girl?" He asked softly. Ginny turned around to see Evelyn walking towards them, rubbing her eye with one hand and dragging a little blanket in another.

She walked towards Harry and held her arms out to him. Harry dragged her up into his lap and held her, wrapping the blanket around them and rocked gently from side to side as she laid her little head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong sweetie, you should be asleep still." He said softly to her. She didn't answer, just snuggled in closer to him and stared into space.

"I don't really think she's fully awake." Ginny chuckled. Harry petted Evelyn, holding her close. "Um…I think I should go now." She said, starting to stand up. Harry looked up at her with a sad expression. He didn't want Ginny to go. He still had much to tell her but spying the clock on the wall he realized how late it had gotten.

"Ok, I promise we'll finish again soon." He told her, reaching out to once more to squeeze her hand. She nodded again in understanding. She leaned down close to Harry and placed a soft kiss on his lips and ran a hand over Evelyn's head through her hair.

"Goodnight Harry." She said and she leaned closer to Evelyn. "Goodnight Evelyn." She said quietly, not really expecting a response. And with a final glance she headed towards the door.

"Night Ginny." Evelyn said mumbled. Ginny turned around and smiled, seeing the little girl look at her and give a small wave from under the blanket. Ginny waved back herself and then walked out the door.

A/N: Please R&R