Chapter Three:
Present Day
I ignored Jenny and Adam, who were making out on my front porch. I ignored Bobby and Tig, who were arguing in my kitchen. I even managed to ignore Half Sack and Juice, who were wrestling in my backyard. I couldn't, however, ignore the nagging feeling in my stomach that made me think something wicked was coming this way. I drank my beer and read to Katie while her crazy uncles spat profanities and insults at each other. Together, we ignored them, in favor of The Giving Tree. I put her to bed in the same fashion, with a steadfast and stubborn determination. Two months back in Charming and I'd already adjusted the way I'd wanted to. Jax caught me as he exited Abel's room.
"Out like a fucking light!" He cried with joy, punching his fist in the air. I snickered, slapping his chest, as I headed to the kitchen. I poured us both drinks, rum and coke for me and whiskey neat for him.
"When were we going to talk club business, babe?" I asked seriously, adjusting my cut so it fell flat against my chest.
"What've we been doing for the last eight weeks darlin?" He replied, refilling his now empty glass.
"You've been skirting around any big issues." I argued. "'Gun business is steady, the Irish are happy.' 'Mayans are keeping their distance. Niners aren't planning anything.' 'There's nothing to worry about, darlin.'" I imitated Jax's deep voice and gave him a look.
"What? Those are all true statements. Juice tapped Leroy's phone, and his crew isn't making any major moves. The Mayans are staying in Oakland. I haven't had contact with Alvarez in over a year. The Irish are happy as hell, the gun business is booming and we've been distributing firearms at impressive rates. Speaking of," he stopped and opened the cabinet beneath the sink. This particular cabinet had a false bottom that Jax tapped open. He grabbed the bag and handed it to me. "Here's your cut, babe." He handed me the cash and I put it on the counter next to me.
"Jax, you son of a bitch, prison didn't give me amnesia!" I cried. Bobby and Tig stopped arguing and looked at us. "Clay has cocaine. Clay is probably selling that cocaine. Clay has an army of men with him, probably helping him sell the cocaine he has in his possession." I slowed down my speech pattern and thickened my accent. As slowly as my voice was, the random club members reentered my house. Jax took a seat at the kitchen table. I propped myself up against the counter and stared him down.
"Cassia…" he started, pinching his nose between his forefinger and thumb. He looked a lot like Caine after I'd made my first kill. "We can't go after Clay or his cocaine."
"What the fuck are you talking about, we can't?" I asked, hissing. Jax's stare could cut diamonds but I was undeterred.
"When did you start questioning your President?"
"When did my President become such a pussy?" I countered. I rolled my eyes at Jenny's dramatic reaction. She was still outside, in the rocking chair I'd been sitting in when she first arrived in Charming. I could see her clearly through the open window as she sharply inhaled her breath. Half Sack and Juice tried to enter the house silently, but I heard their heavy footsteps.
"What did you just call me?" Jax asked, his voice low and deadly.
"A pussy. You're treating me like a fucking Old Lady, not your Seargeant at Arms. I haven't had to beg you for information in 4 years, Jackson, don't ask me to start again now."
"Texas, it's complicated." Bobby stated, taking a seat at the kitchen table. I gave him a dead eyed look.
"As I've never handled anything complicated for the Club before, I can understand your reticence to tell me." I snapped. Everyone ended up inside, almost the whole club, but not quite, staring at me like a bomb about to detonate. "Jennifer, you must know." I turned to my sister, who was safely tucked in Adam's arms. Watching them as a couple was one of the best parts about being out of prison. Adam, so silent I forget he's not mute, and Jenny whose voice and personality filled every room. He kept her balanced, relaxed, and on a long leash. He protected her the way I tried to decades ago but had given up when I failed to protect myself.
"I do know, but now is not the time." Jenny answered. I looked from her to Jax, wild eyed. Everyone in the room was resolute, digging their heels into the sand to stubbornly keep this from me.
"All of you are unbelievable." I shook my head and grabbed the keys to my bike, ignoring their calls as I sped off.
There were only a few places in Charming I went alone. The frozen yogurt place on Main Street, my House, and the Streams. I usually had my army of men beside me. I rode my bike hard to the Streams, reveling in the feeling of the wind beating against my skin. My sunglasses sat low on the bridge of my nose by the time I got there.
"Home sweet home," I grumbled, plopping to the ground. The dirt kicked up around my ass as I hit the ground hard. I got two bottles of beer from my storage compartment, and used one to open the other. I took big swings and stared up at the slowly setting sun. I drank until the 6 pack was gone, and then I drank until my backup 6 pack was gone. I ignored the sound of a lone motorcycle until its rider dropped another bottle of beer in my lap. The sun had set over the water by then, my sunglasses now serving as a headband.
"What happened to you in there?" Jax asked, referring to prison. I rolled my eyes and held the bottle up so he could uncap it. Jax was dutiful, at least.
"What happened to you in there?" I spat back, drinking the beer.
"I'm being responsible, damn it. I'm not telling you what's going on with Clay for a good reason."
"And what is that brilliant reason, Jax? I'm not going through the fights we had when you became President. You remember those? Every night screaming at each other until our throats were raw and sore? Not talking? I'm not fucking doing it again. We're supposed to be partners. I'm supposed to be your guard. How can we be that if you're keeping things from me?" I cried, the tears I'd been holding in for over 2 years threatening to spill out. Jax's face fell.
"Is that what you think?" He asked, his tone sharp. "That I don't trust you because you're a woman?"
"You haven't touched me in the eight weeks I've been home, Jax. I assumed that you're trying to reconcile our club duties with your sexual attraction again." I sniffled, wiping under my eyes and taking another drink. I was suddenly much too sober. "But you can't cut me out. I can't take it."
4 Years Ago (Cassia's First Year fully patched)
Clearing Clay from the Chapel felt right. I was comfortable for the first time around the massive wooden table. Jax stood awkwardly near the head of the table, where the President's empty chair sat. Opie smirked from his seat.
"Waiting for an engraved invitation, Jax?" He asked, laughing.
"We have to take a vote." He replied, shaking his head.
"All in favor of Jax taking over as President of SAMCRO?" Opie announced. A unanimous affirmative sounded around the room. Jax rolled his eyes but sat down at the head of the table.
"I don't take this shit lightly, brothers. I understand the responsibility of being your president." Jax was solemn as he gave his speech. "It's my job to keep us earning, keep us whole, and keep us safe."
"Here here!" Chibs cried, banging his hand on the table. I rolled my eyes but smiled as Jax cracked his sexiest smirk. I tried not to let myself get affected, but I could feel my heart beat faster.
"Now, I need to make some changes. Opie, brother, I need you at my right hand to make this work." No one was surprised at Jax naming Opie his Vice President, the taller man was silent as he stood and sat in the chair Jax usually occupied. I was at the foot of the table, near Half Sack and Juice. Seating was based on rank and hierarchy, as everything was in the SAMCRO world. I was just happy to be included, even if I was in the cheapest seat.
"I'm honored, Pres," Opie grumbled when he sat down.
"Bobby, you can keep handling things as Secretary. You know more about books than me, anyways." Jax laughed. Tig, and the rest of the club waited with bated breath.
"Ain't that the truth, brother." Bobby answered with a laugh and a wheeze.
"Tiggy, you've made some epic moves in that chair. I don't doubt your loyalty to SAMCRO or me for a second. But I need someone else in that position." I kept my eyes down, ignoring literally everyone. Tig, however, glared at me while he stood. In my heart, I thought Jackson was going to pull this stunt, but I never truly believed it.
"No," I whispered as Jax started talking.
"Cassia." Was all Jax said. I looked up at my boyfriend and kept his gaze. Our look was charged with unsaid words.
"You're gonna have to say it, boss." I told Jax.
"I want you as my Sergeant at Arms, Cassia. You're the best shot we have in the club, you'd die before letting anyone hurt me, and you've proven your worth to the club more times than most in the short time you've been here. There's no one better." Jax sounded genuine, which scared me. We sat in silence, staring at each other, for several moments before he cocked an eyebrow. "You just gonna sit there, Cass? Or do you plan to take the position?"
"I serve at the pleasure of my President," I answered, quoting The West Wing. I stood as gracefully as possible and took Tig's chair. The rest of the members shuffled around seamlessly so that we all sat in our new hierarchy.
"You understand what I'm asking of you, right?" Jax asked me, looking me dead in the eyes.
"I understand and I'll be damn good at the job, Jax. You and the Club are safe with me."
"I don't doubt it." Jax gave me a genuine smile before banging the gavel on the table. "I think that's enough excitement for one day, let's take the day off." My brothers roared with cheer and applause as we all stood and headed to the bar, where a Prospect was waiting to serve drinks. Jax stopped me at the door to the Chapel, and brought me close to his side. I looked up at him, a question on my lips but he interrupted me.
"You're the only person I'd want watching my back. Tig was great for Clay, neither man gave a shit about consequences. I need you to be my fail safe. I need to make sure I don't turn SAMCRO toward the Reaper indefinitely. You're ruthless, Cass. But you're not heartless." He told me, still looking ahead at our brothers, the club girls, the old ladies who were strolling in, and the hangers on waiting for a patch to notice them. The weight of his arm around my shoulders was our only connection even as I gazed up at him.
"You've got a lot of trust in me, Jax." I replied, stunned to near silence by his admission.
"You've earned every shred of it." He replied, finally looking at me with his classic smirk. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on the lips. The kiss quickly turned passionate, as his tongue tangled with mine and I clasped my hands around his neck.
"Hey, hot stuff, wanna take this up to one of the dorms so you can show me just how much trust you've got in me?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively and smirked right back at him.
"You keep talking like that and I'll show what else I can put in you."
"Don't you dare threaten me with a good time!" I laughed and Jax guffawed, practically dragging me along to the stairs. I was still giggling when we entered the dorm, and only when he pushed my back against the wall did I stop laughing. Jax pushed his pelvis into mine and claimed my mouth again, grinding his hard cock into me. I moaned against his mouth, my lower abdomen tightening and heat pooling there. I sought friction between us, and longed for fewer clothes. He kissed me deeply, still, for several long moments as I made furtive attempts to undo his buckle.
"Tell me what you want, Cassia." Jax asked in a low voice, taking my bottom lip between his teeth.
"Fuck, Jackson, I want you."
"You want me to what?" Jax was playing coy with his mouth, but he was running his hands all over my body and pushing his cock against me.
I used all my strength to push Jax off me. Once we'd gotten a few feet of separation, I took my cut off, laying it on the nearby chair. Next went my black SAMCRO t-shirt, and then my jeans. "I want you to fuck me, Jax, hard and fast. I want you to worship every inch of me." I unclasped my bra and let it fall to the floor with the rest of my clothing.
"Save the panties for me, babe," Jax replied, openly stroking his hard cock in front of me. I tucked my hair behind my ear and walked over to his perch on the bed.
"You're still wearing too many clothes, Jackson." I teased. Jax made quick work of the offending scraps of fabric, leaving himself bare and naked for me. I drooled at the sight of his hard chest, his tight six pack abdomen, and the tattoos across his torso. I straddled him, raking my hands through his hair. The silky blonde strands felt so much better since I got him using my conditioner. He buried his head in my cleavage, biting and licking and sucking on my breasts while kneading my ass with his hands. His tongue swirled around my nipples and I threw my head back, moaning loudly.
"Jax…" I breathed out as he replaced his tongue with his fingers. He was skillful and patient, strumming my nipples like a well tuned guitar. He'd breathe whispers of encouragement as I writhed against him, my slick sex making the glide against his thighs easier.
"Just like that Cassia," he said when I bucked against his hand. He'd snaked it between our bodies to stroke my clit.
"Jackson Teller, I swear to God," I cried as the orgasm ripped through me. I barely registered it when my walls stretched to accommodate his large cock. I noticed Jax holding my torn panties in one hand and smiled. I hadn't realized he'd torn them off.
"How does that make you feel, Cassia Belle?" Jax growled out, pumping into me slowly.
"Ahhhh…" I breathed out on a moan. I couldn't form words, let alone articulate them. All I could feel was the rhythm he set, the way his fingers slipped up my sweat soaked skin, how his eyes bore into mine when he pressed our foreheads together, and how he poured every ounce of love into our kisses. I came a thousand times, in a thousand ways, and wrung every bit of seed from Jax.
I awoke the next morning to Jax's tongue lapping at my clit. I screamed his name twice before he took me hard and fast. He was insatiable, and for damn near 4 months, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I was in a constant state of giddiness, gleefully bouncing around the Clubhouse and bantering with my brothers. We were at peace. Aside from my solo missions to make sure Clay was following orders, I got to hang with my man all day, get fucked, and drink with my boys. Everything was perfect until one morning I awoke to the bed empty and cold beside me.
"Jax, you ass, where's my morning wood?" I called out, my eyes still closed. I burrowed my face into my pillow and stretched my long limbs. My boyfriend hadn't answered, so I finally gave in and opened my eyes.
"Jax?" I called out again, sitting up and running my hands through my hair. He wasn't in the room, that much was clear. I shuffled around the bathroom, cleaning myself and my teeth before I rooted in my dresser for something to wear. The SAMCRO tank I'd made a couple weeks ago was form fitting, and today it was snug. I ignored it, I'd had too many nachos and ice cream recently anyway. Of course the shirt, and my favorite jeans, wouldn't fit. When I was dressed and my hair was in a ponytail, I checked my phone.
Jax: at the Clubhouse, babe. Didn't want to wake you.
Jax's text was vague, and I didn't like it. Without thinking twice, I grabbed my shit and hopped on my Harley. The Clubhouse lot was full when I got there. Juice and Half Sack were on duty at TM. I could see Gemma yelling into the phone with a lot of passion.
"Did someone screw up an order?" I asked Chibs, who was smoking on the picnic table and flipping through his phone.
"It looks like it! I haven't seen Gem that riled up in a while." He replied, patting the space next to him.
"I'm looking for Jax, actually. Have you seen him?"
"He's inside, Miss America. Maybe you should wait out here…" Chibs answered, speaking to my retreating back. I pushed the door open and made quick use of the small hallway. I stopped short when I saw Jax holding a blonde woman close. She had a toddler in her hip. And even I couldn't deny the resemblance.
"Jax?" I asked, my voice wavering only a little. The woman turned and I saw her face. She wasn't ugly, that was for sure, but crank hadn't been kind to her. She couldn't be too much older than me, but her face was drawn and her eyes were vacant.
"I've gotta go. I'll leave all of his shit with Gemma." The woman said, handing the boy to Jax and pushing past me. Bobby, Tig, and Opie came out from the Chapel.
"We talked over your idea, Pres, and it's a good one. We should really talk to Cass about protection though." Bobby said, not seeing me or the boy. He has been looking behind him, at Opie. But he stopped short when he turned his head.
"What the hell is going on?" My voice had stopped wavering. It was clear now, I was just plain pissed. The little boy was adorable and perfect, Jax's bright blue eyes and the woman's full lips. He had an older, wiser look about him. Like he'd seen too much already. Bobby was red in the face and sputtering, slowly retreating like he was afraid I'd punch him. "Jackson. What the fuck is going on?" I repeated.
"Babe, this is my son. I just met him today. His name's Abel." Jax replied. He had the good sense to look grim. And if I hadn't been one hundred percent sure the world had opened beneath my feet, his next words confirmed it. "And we've made a plan of attack on the Niners, there's some history there and I've been meeting with Leroy. I think he needs to be put in his place."
"You've been meeting with Leroy without me?" I repeated.
"Listen, Cassia, sometimes this shit has to happen on a need to know basis." Jax looked like he believed his own words.
"Need to know basis?" I asked. Jax nodded. The air was charged and I was sure my throat was closing in on itself. I couldn't breathe, and the rage had blinded me. "I have to go." I answered stoically, turning on my heel and lifting a bottle of bourbon from the bar before slamming open the door. The sun was bright, so I slid my aviators onto my nose and covered my eyes. I took a swig of liquor before hopping on the bike. I left tire tracks in my wake.
6.5 Years Ago: Cassia's in Dallas
6 months into my contract with SMADAL, I heard the nickname. Caine was bragging about it to the whole boxing ring like it referred to him.
"The Southern Assassin! Ain't that something?!" He cried before snorting a line of coke off my left breast. "I wonder what the son of a bitch looks like." He speculated, smirking at the crowd like he knew something they didn't. I guess he did, since my identity was kept under strict lock and key. I had to be seen as the harmless club whore Caine kept around in order to be the Southern Assassin. How else would sending me undercover work?
"I'd like to know who this vigilante is, and why they seem to be on our side." Jimmy Jam commented. He was trying to sound like he didn't care, so I knew immediately that he cared a great deal. For the 800th time I questioned my methods. Should I have gone straight to the mother charter? Should I have left Texas completely? What would have brought the least suspicion? I shook my head, seemingly in response to Caine's antics. There was no going back now, I was in Dallas, with the Sons, until my worth was irreproachable.
The first time I'd seen the Reaper on a man's cut was a Miss America retreat in Northern California. My car of contestants stopped outside of Oakland, at a gas station to fill up. I was on snack duty, in the store to grab a mix of water and sodas for us to drink on the road. 3 men waltzed in like they owned the place. Their smiles were huge, their laughs boisterous, and they looked like they didn't have a single care in the world. I ended up looking at candy with one of them.
"I always look at the options like I don't already know what I want." I'd said to the man next to me. I dared a look at his face, unlined except for the wrinkles near his mouth, the laugh lines. He wore the leather vest well, the haunting image laying proudly on his back.
"Creature of habit?" He replied, smirking. He ran a hand through his short cropped brown hair and bent at the knee to pick up a handful of Snickers bars. "You can never go wrong with an old favorite." His smirk turned into a full on smile, and handed me 2 of the candy bars. "You take care, beautiful." He left without paying, hopping on his bike and riding away with his buddies. When I got back to the car, my fellow Miss America contestants worried over me.
"Oh my god are you okay?"
"Did he hurt you?"
"Was he dangerous, Cassia? What did he say?!" They cried, at the same time. I slipped back into the passenger seat, assuring them I was okay, but they spent the rest of the drive talking about the gang. I asked Miss Cali what their crew was called when we reached the retreat.
"That's the Sons of Anarchy, they're out of Charming, and are the scariest dudes around. It's so weird that he even talked to you."
"Oh, wow. Maybe he was just in a good mood." I brushed it off, changing the subject to Miss Cali's nails. But I never stopped thinking of them, of the freedom they must have felt when the wind whipped around their bodies. When I was finally done with my pageant duties, I took a "gap year" before college. I didn't technically run away, my parents knew I was in Dallas, but I did put as much space as I could between us so I could find my way back to the Sons of Anarchy. Even now, serving as a glorified table for a coke addict, I was proud of how far I'd come. My little trip down memory lane made me feel better about my decision to start here.
"Cassia, I need to talk to you for a second." Avery called across the room, motioning me over with his hand.
"Sorry sugar," I said to Caine, kissing him on the cheek before standing up and brushing the cocaine off my chest. "Catch you later?" I asked, hoping to placate him.
"Damn right, baby." He replied. I smiled and followed Avery into the Chapel. He locked the door behind us and offered me a seat at the table.
"I'm gonna get straight to the point, Cass. What's your endgame?" Avery put up his hand before I could deny one. "Don't bother with excuses, tell it to me true. You have a plan, what is it?"
"I want to patch SAMCRO." I told Avery, voicing my desires for the first time to another person. "I need to patch SAMCRO." I added, hoping my sincerity would bleed through my words.
"Why?"
"Because I need to be free. Avery, you don't know what it's like. I've been boxed in my whole fucking life. My whole existence has rules. And don't get me started on my parents." I took a deep breath, not ready to bear that part of my story just yet. "I'd be an asset to any Club, and the Club would give me a real family, freedom, and a reason to fucking live. I want someone to look at me for something more than my pretty face, big tits, and full lips. I have to be more than a real life sex doll or else there's no fucking point." I told him. I swiped the errant wisps of hair from my cheek and took another deep breath. Avery hadn't said anything yet, but he was looking at me like he'd always seen me but was just now accepting what he saw.
"I can make that happen for you. The VP of the mother charter owes me a debt, so I can get you in front of the Club. You'll have to do the rest." He said, finally, his eyes were hard. "They won't take you seriously if you start as a club whore, or a Croweater. They can't ever know about you and Caine. If you want to be more than a pair of tits, you've gotta prove it to them time and time again. Do you understand me?"
"Yes sir." I said on an exhale.
"You've made life a hell of a lot easier for me in these last 6 months. Give me another 6 and I can get you out to Charming to see Jax Teller." Avery finished, standing and offering his hand for me to shake.
"You're serious about this? This isn't some kind of con?" I confirmed before putting my hand in his.
"I swear on my life, Cassia, I'm not fucking with you. I'm gonna make this happen for you. You just have to give me 6 more months of pretending to be in lust with Caine, and of killing whomever we say to kill." He was solemn, but I smiled the biggest smile I ever had.
"I won't let you down!" I gushed, resisting the urge to hug the shorter man. He didn't crack a smile in return, but instead unlocked the door and gestured for me to leave. I felt like I'd snorted some of Caine's stash, I was so giddy. My dreams were just 6 months away.