A Holiday by Decree
~~ Day 9 ~~
Tyrion could not have gone any further if he had tried, not with how Sansa gripped his hand. He pulled the chair behind him closer to ease her position. "Only if you blame yourself no more. I-I can't allow it," he required, his voice breaking with feeling.
Sansa still seemed to disagree, but she nodded tearfully. A few minutes passed, and she sucked in deep breaths. Her face crimped a few times, and she would look away, clearly trying to stem the flow. Throughout this though, she kept Tyrion's hand in her hold.
Out beyond the veranda, thunder roiled. The gauzy curtains hanging over the large windows and open doors rose and wafted as the beginnings of a stormy breeze whirled into the room around them.
The position he leaned over in was not comfortable, but Tyrion dared not move. The thought of Hirat's entreaty, She needs you… She should not be alone at this time, resonated in his mind. He would do anything to make Sansa feel better, but he now saw more clearly that neither smothering, uninformed words nor his leaving would make this immediately better. He needed to be patient, he needed to be there for her in this moment, no matter what she was about to tell him.
Sansa huffed a bitter little laugh when at last she could look at him without more tears falling. "The dams may at last be in place," she said, her voice still gravelly and wet but clearer than before.
Tyrion smiled though it was small and uncertain, still not knowing quite what had sent her into such tears. He had been readying himself though; if her turmoil turned out to be his doing and would cause Sansa to sacrifice herself for his selfish desires, he would tear himself from her side at the end of this.
He would not allow her to do such things when he himself was not worth it.
He braced himself, as Sansa fixed her gaze on him: "Tyrion, you did nothing wrong when you touched me, because you see, I wanted you to."
Tyrion's heart ran double-time at hearing what he did not have the courage to expect.
It was everything he wanted to hear! How often had he felt affection where none could be genuinely reciprocated? Tyrion's own emotional "dams" were in danger of springing leaks now, but he had to use his head.
"Sansa, please, you don't need to justify my actions. My presumptiveness put you in danger -" he protested, but Sansa cut him off.
"Tyrion, no. I actively encouraged you, and I will not hear otherwise," she started strong. Still, it was not enough, as tears refilled her eyes with each word. "So if there was anyone who was presumptive, you see it was me, and I fear now that the one I was wrong about was actually myself."
Tyrion's breath caught. Meanwhile, more thunder and wind rolled in from the veranda. The curtains rippled in the flickering lamplight.