If he didn't think too much, Scott Baldwin almost felt in his element as he drove towards Mt. Kisco. Almost, well maybe that was a bit of an overstatement. Maybe it was optimism. His sister was always telling him he needed to work on that, optimism.
"I've never been up here before, and I have to say it's a little creepy," Eve said as he turned onto the access road and they began their ascent to the peak of Mt. Kisco.
"Well, fortunately I have my blazer back. Four-wheel drive, you know, it will get you through," Scott said. He hated to admit that Eve had a point. Even he felt a little bit of a cold chill when he drove past the cabin that had been the former home of his sister's almost rapist.
Eve rolled her eyes at his comment. "Yeah, well, fortunately I'm not trying to get to the first day of my surgery rotation on time."
"Oh, come on, Alan didn't hold that against you. Anyway, Brian tells me you could be a great internist. So, if surgery doesn't work out, you have options."
"Are you determined to ruin every rotation for me?" Eve asked.
Scott heard the frustration and anger in her voice but, for once, he didn't understand it. It wasn't like he had ever meant to make things harder for her. He hadn't even known her really when he scribbled his name on the bottom of her AMA form and resumed his quest to find his child. From his perspective they had both done what they needed to. He needed out of the hospital to find his kid and she needed to document that she had advised him to stay. It wasn't really either of their fault that PCGH had a policy which stated patients needed to be seen by an attending and the neurosurgeon on call had been too busy playing mattress tag with the PT tech that broke up his marriage in the first place to actually come in to the ER and see him.
He also hadn't made her late for surgery rounds on her first day on purpose. Honestly, it was really more the fault of that guy at the Ford Dealership who had clearly sold him a defective vehicle. He had tried to fix everything by explaining to Alan that it was really his fault as it had been his car which had broken down. He hadn't really been thinking about how that explanation would just add more fodder to the hospital rumor mill. He kind of grasped that it had. Especially since Eve's attending happened to be his brother in law. He just didn't call him Doc Bro in law because he had more class than Luke Spencer.
However, his latest offense he really didn't understand. Was he not allowed to have lunch with an old friend? He and Brian went way back. Brian had used some of his limited vacation time during his own internship to help him rescue Laura when she had run away unable to face the truth, or perhaps the consequences, that she had killed David Hamilton. When the legal situation had been resolved Brian had stood up for him when he and Laura married and then stood by him through all of the aftermath that had followed. There had been a lot of aftermath.
"You really are determined to ruin this internship for me, aren't you? Why? Why me?" Eve ranted.
"I was just having lunch with an old friend. I didn't even mention your name. Brian brought up how amazing you were all on his own."
"So, you just happen to be old friends with my IM wards attending?"
"We went to Kent State together. Class of seventy five. Well, actually I was class of seventy five. Brian took the less scenic route. He finished up in seventy four and went right onto medical school at Wright State."
Eve just shook her head and sighed loudly. "I'm doing OB-Gyn next month are you long lost friends with anyone in that department?"
"Hmm. Howie Newman delivered Serena. You probably shouldn't call him Howie, I don't think he really likes that much," Scott said.
Eve sighed again. "What are we doing?"
"Driving up to the Mt. Kisco Overlook to watch stars and eat ribs from Eli's."
"That wasn't what I meant."
Scott had kind of figured that. Of course, if he took the question literally he could answer it. If he didn't, well, then there didn't really seem to be an answer. His sister had asked if he was dating Dr. Lambert. He thought she had been looking for a yes or no answer, but he hadn't been able to give her that and eventually she had let it go. Was he dating Eve? Heck if he knew.
Eve intrigued him, she was funny, she was smart, Serena was comfortable around her and she seemed to genuinely care about his five-year-old daughter. He had a feeling that even if Eve decided she wanted nothing to do with him, and perhaps she was getting close to that point, she would still be nice to Serena. He liked that about her and they had fun together, or they did when they weren't worrying about what they were doing.
Then there was the other side. She was younger than his oldest daughter. She was a resident at a hospital his sister, mother, and brother in law all were physicians at. His brother in law was her Chief of Staff. His daughter was a member of her internship class. Of course, after his sister had listened to him fumble around on the topic for a good ten minutes she had finally pointed out that they were both consenting adults and perhaps there was no reason for it to be an uncomfortable topic. Yet, somehow it still seemed to be, and Scott wasn't sure what that meant exactly.
Scott's headlights picked up a deer directly ahead and he slowed and finally came to a complete stop as the dumb animal stood motionless in the path of his truck. He honked his horn and waited as the animal finally darted the rest of the way across the road.
"That was close," Eve said once they were on their way again.
"Not really, deer are annoying but it's the Moose you really need to watch out for."
"Moose?"
"Yeah, we had a lot of those when I was up in Vancouver. Supposedly there are some out in Hampton Bays even now, but I've never seen any," Scott said. He shuddered as he saw the mailbox along the road still labeled Dorman.
Apparently, Eve noticed it too. "So, people actually live this far up? This must be a nightmare in the winter."
"Yeah, well the guy who lived there was kind of a nightmare himself so maybe that fit," he said.
"Another one of your unsatisfied clients," Eve joked.
Scott gripped the steering wheel tightly. He knew he shouldn't expect Eve to know about Dr. Dorman and his reign of terror. He had died right before Intern Orientation had started and his privileges had been permanently suspended a few weeks before that. However, he doubted that his name wasn't still mentioned around the hospital, especially as the trial loomed closer. "Not exactly. The guy who lived there was another example that Dr. Hardy had a few lapses in judgment since he hired him. He used to be a cardiologist at the hospital. Really he was more of a cocaine addicted sociopath."
"Sounds like a real standup guy. Wait, was he the guy who kidnapped Dr. Quartermaine?" Eve asked.
Scott also heard the caught gasp which punctuated her question. He presumed it had hit her that she wasn't just talking about a random cardiology attending she didn't know well but his sister. Intellectually he knew she knew that, but he could see how there was the disconnect. "Right, fortunately, her nephew came through. He happened to see her being forced into cokehead's car and he called the police. They got there before a bad situation got a whole lot worse. Small miracle I guess."
"I'm sorry," Eve said.
Scott wasn't sure if she was sorry for what had happened or what she had said. "Monica has more courage than most, she's been through a lot but she's a survivor, that's for sure," he said.
"You seem really close."
Scott chuckled at Eve's observation. In 1997 he would say he and Monica were close. When his father had married her mother thirty years earlier he probably wouldn't have said that. Of course, he doubted anyone else would have said that either. He had been a pretty awful stepbrother, but by the time his father had adopted Monica when she was almost fifteen he had been ready to become a better brother. Or he had tried. Time healed wounds or nurtured a connection or something because it had been Monica who had helped him to accept that not all things could be understood and had supported him as he signed the divorce papers that freed his wife to go marry her rapist. That had been seventeen years ago. His relationship with Monica had only deepened since then but he was still nowhere near reconciling the choices Laura had made.
"Ok, forget I said that. Serena is always talking about Aunt Monica, so I just figured."
"I was chuckling because I was remembering where Monica and I started from but, yep, we're close now, and she has always been a big part of Serena's life. It's hard to be a single dad to a daughter. Monica has definitely made a lot of that less difficult," Scott said as they finally reached the parking lot just below the peak of Mt. Kisco.
"That's good," Eve said.
Scott heard the uncertainty in her voice. That kept him from asking her about her own siblings. Instead he just shifted into park and killed the engine.
XXXXXXXX
In the dining room at Wyndamere, Katherine Bell picked her way through her salad. Truth be told, she had never cared for green vegetables, but she had forced herself to stomach them for appearances sake and business lunches. Stefan sat across from her, yet, as they were separated by the length of the full banquet table, he seemed so far away. He also seemed distracted. She hoped he was rehearsing his proposal speech as worked his way through his greens. She wondered when he would offer her the ring. She supposed it didn't matter as long as it was safely on her finger before his sniveling cousin, Alexis, returned home.
Katherine smiled a little as she envisioned Alexis's look of distraught disappointment when she saw the ring on her finger. Laura had always had such rough gargantuan hands she hoped that Stefan had thought to have the ring resized. She was sure he had thought of that. Stefan thought of everything when it came to her.
XXXXXXXX
Although Scott was sitting right beside her, at least physically, Eve had a feeling his mind was elsewhere. She wondered if he was thinking of past moments when he and his wife had sat in a similar spot and watched the stars. Or perhaps her earlier foot in the mouth moment had haunted him more than he had let on. It was painfully ironic that the one moment she had been able to let go of the awkwardness that his mother, sister, daughter, and brother in law were all physicians at her hospital had come back to bite her. Such was life, or at least such was her life.
With half of a glance in his direction, Eve decided that he probably was thinking about the monster who had tormented his sister. That would be a hard thing to let go of and she doubted he had. Even if Chris had added in a little extra embellishment for effect, she had been disturbed by the whole event and she hadn't known anyone involved personally. She had actually been kind of glad when Karen had joined them, and Chris had to quickly change the topic because Karen was Dr. Monica Quartermaine's niece.
As she contemplated whether all cardiologists were sociopaths, or perhaps just all male cardiologists, or perhaps even just all male interventional cardiologists Eve felt something land in her hand. She glanced down and saw the quarter Scott had laid there. She looked at him more carefully and wondered if he had decided to make Serena return the money she had won from their penny pitching game. That had only been seventeen cents though and Serena had counted it out to make sure it was correct.
"I figured your thoughts were worth far more than a penny," Scott suggested.
Eve just shook her head. Sometimes she wondered if Scott would ever run out of his lines. Probably not. "Or not if you look at my intern salary," she said. Chris had already worked out that, providing PCGH was compliant with the Bell Commission requirements for house staff, their salary worked out to about seven bucks an hour which Eve figured had to be far less than twenty-five cents per thought even on the days she wasn't feeling particularly cerebral.
"And once again we're back to money."
"Well it's the path to happiness or the root of all evil depending on perspective, right?" Eve asked.
"Or it's a convenient wall so you don't have to let anyone in," Scott suggested.
Eve sighed. The scariest thing was that Scott was so right and there was a small part of her that wanted to admit that to him. But the larger, more rational, and practical part of her just couldn't go there. He was old enough to be her father. He was Karen's father. It was all just so complicated and messy. She couldn't go forward but she couldn't just walk away either. "Do you really want to know what I was thinking about?" she asked.
"I do."
"I was contemplating whether all male interventional cardiologists were sociopaths."
Scott looked a bit taken aback by her words. "My sister wants everyone to believe that Dr. Dorman was just a bad apple in a good profession. But if Dr. Devlin is still giving you a hard time then you need to talk to someone."
"Who said Dr. Devlin was giving me a hard time?" Eve asked. She presumed the answer was his sister. She knew Monica had witnessed one of their less friendly discussions.
August 22, 1997
When Dr. Bennett Devlin finally released her arm, Dr. Eve Lambert inhaled and exhaled and tried to regain some composure. She wasn't afraid of Dr. Bennett Devlin. She wasn't afraid of Dr. Bennett Devlin. Except no matter how many times she repeated the mantra the truth was that she was afraid of Dr. Bennett Devlin and she always had been. Initially she was afraid he would get her kicked out of medical school, she had slept with him to protect her secret. But then, after she had become pregnant with his child, she had truly feared for her life. In spite of what she had told the police, she knew he had pushed her in the stairwell intentionally, and she believed he had wanted to kill her, not just the pregnancy she had refused to terminate. That had been over two years ago and she had gotten past it. Or she had thought she had until she discovered that Dr. Bennett Devlin was a cardiologist at PCGH and the father of her apartment mate. He still had a secret to hold over her head. She had one to hold over his too though and that altered the power dynamic enough that it released her from his bed. Unfortunately, it also heightened the stakes for him and in many ways gave her more reason to fear him.
A voice pulled her from her thoughts and Eve turned to see Dr. Monica Quartermaine.
"Are you alright?" Monica asked.
"I'm sorry, I was just focusing on the IV fluid order. Your husband is very particular," Eve said.
Monica smiled. "Alan has his moments. If anyone is making you uncomfortable that isn't acceptable here at PCGH . Perhaps we could go to my office and talk."
"I wasn't complaining. Truly, your husband is wonderful to work with in comparison to some of the surgeons I rotated with as a student. He just expects us to be careful with our orders that was all I meant."
"I wasn't referring to Alan. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting but what I just saw between you and Dr. Devlin concerns me."
"He just wasn't really watching where he was walking," Eve offered. That didn't really explain him grabbing her arm, but she hoped that Monica wouldn't challenge her. "I think he was probably late for the cath lab."
"Well, if you're sure everything is alright, but if you ever need to talk, my door is always open. I do mean that. I really do."
"I appreciate that, but really, everything is fine," Eve lied.
Eve thought she had convinced Monica she had misinterpreted the interaction. Apparently, Monica hadn't bought her lie as much as she had led her to believe.
"Listen, I know that DME has you all convinced that residents don't speak unless spoken too, but, even her bark is worse than her bite. Trust me, my brother in law really doesn't want another deranged cardiologist running amok and he's not going to shoot the messenger."
"Perhaps your brother in law needs to brush up on confidentiality."
"Oh, he's good with that, ask his sister about that."
Eve wasn't sure what Scott was referring to and she wasn't sure she cared. "If you're implying that Dr. Quartermaine is treating family members that kind of violates the AMA position on physician conduct."
"No, he's good with that too. He only treats family members in emergencies when he's the unfortunate surgeon on call. The AMA is fine with that, you can't really fault a guy for saving a life even if happens to be a niece by marriage. Anyway, Monica didn't exactly reveal that you were the female physician that Dr. Devlin was manhandling. She just assured me it wasn't my daughter and I presumed it wasn't his own daughter, although I guess you never know. My point is that these things have a way of snowballing really quick and real bad."
"I can take care of myself!" Eve insisted. She wanted to believe she could. She wanted to believe that Bennett would continue to bully her just to remind her that he had the upper hand but that he wouldn't actually cross the line. She didn't really believe that though. She just wasn't sure how to really break free. Again a small part of her wanted to be honest with Scott and trust he could and would help her. But another part of her couldn't.
"I'm sure you can. You know it's ok to have some help sometimes. I keep trying to convince my daughter of the same thing."
"Serena?"
"Well, she is five now and she's becoming more independent, but I was thinking more of Karen. I wasn't there for her when she needed me and I think that makes it harder for her to really trust that I will be now, or even that anyone will. Maybe you can relate to that."
Eve shrugged her shoulders and didn't speak.
"You don't have to answer that, it wasn't exactly a question it was just an observation."
"Karen said you didn't know she was your daughter until she was in medical school."
"I didn't."
"Would you have been around if you had?"
"I want to think I would have but I don't know. My life was a bit of disaster area for a while. I gave my wife a divorce, so she could marry the man who raped her. They say I didn't handle that very well, but how do you handle something like that well?"
"That was Karen's mom?"
"No, that was someone else, you should forget I said that. Technically it's a matter of public record the marriage, the divorce, and even the arrest warrant was. The DA let him take a plea for assault and public lewdness, that's public record too so I can't be sued for slander or defamation but, well, they have kids now and that's not really the kind of thing a kid needs to hear."
"How do you marry someone who raped you?"
"I don't know. I haven't really wrapped my head around that one. I've basically given up on understanding that one. I'm not going to. It's not my issue I guess. I left town before they actually married. I signed the divorce papers and got out of dodge. I'm not sure if I could have stuck around then for Karen even if I had known."
"I guess that is honest."
"I try to be."
"I see," Eve said.
"Anyway, the point is that it's ok to need help. No man, or woman, is meant to be an island."
It sounded so simple when Scott put it that way. Eve knew it wasn't. The truth was that life was just messy and complicated. Her life was especially so, and she had a feeling that wherever things were going with Scott was just going to bring her more of the same. Yet, she couldn't walk away.