Times have changed,
Teyvat is getting worse!
They won't obey their archons,
They just want to fart and curse!
Should we blame Celestia?
Or Orobashi?
Or should we blame the Principles Heavenly?
No, blame Khaen'riah!
Blame Khaen'riah!
With all their nasty rifty hounds,
In their city undergound!
Blame Khaen'riah!
Blame Khaen'riah!
And for the goddess of the Salt!
It's Khaen'riah's fault!
Don't blame me,
For my boy Xiao,
He got some karmic debt,
And now he's weirder than Hu Tao!
And my Dvalin once,
Had my picture on his shelf,
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
Well, Blame Khaen'riah!
Blame Khaen'riah!
It seems like everything's gone wrong,
Since Khaen'riah came along!
Blame Khaen'riah!
Blame Khaen'riah!
They're not even a real nation anyway!
Guoba could've been a god, of stoves rich and true,
Instead he cooks up matsutake on the barbecue!
Should we blame the famine?
Should we blame the fires?
Or the humans who compelled him to retire?
Heck no!
Blame Khaen'riah!
Blame Khaen'riah!
With all their robot hullabaloo,
And that dick Dainsleif too!
Blame Khaen'riah!
Shame on Khaen'riah!
For…
The bots we must stop,
The trash we will smash,
The knowledge that's canned,
Has got to be banned,
We must blame them and cause a fuss,
Before somebody thinks of blaming us!
In case you were wondering about my casting of this "musical"
Stan – could literally be anyone IMO
Kyle – Xiao
Cartman – Hu Tao (She'd sing Xiao's dad's a dick)
Kenny – Bennet (because bad luck)
So on and so on.