Chapter 12:

I am SO sorry for the late update, but hey! At least I made it before midnight my time! I wanted to get this out by Friday after work early, but it's been a pretty busy week and I haven't had much time to write. Currently it's Friday at five my time and I've only got two pages…

I was hoping to make up for last week's shoddy update, but it appears 11 was still pretty good. After I read back through it I felt a little better about the content, just not the length. I'm glad most of you seemed to like it; it makes me feel accomplished and hopeful that my muse hasn't completely escaped me.

Thanks to all of my reviewers for taking the time to let me know how I'm doing. I can only improve by getting feedback from all of you.

Thanks again!

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Jean Grey was not sleeping well.

Dressed in a knee-length red and white jersey nightshirt, she had tossed and turned for the last few hours and there was still no hope of sleep in sight. The pale blue comforter and matching sheets were twisted and tangled at the foot of her bed - the result of alternating from being bone-numbing cold to molten lava hot and the poor linens had paid the toll.

She tried again to block out the flood of emotional tension exuding from the residents of the mansion, but it was too thick and heavy to allow the young telepath any sort of blissful slumber. How was she supposed to get any rest when everyone else's nightmares invaded her own?

Jean raked her fingers through her disheveled red hair and groaned as she glared at the clock.

It was nearly 6 a.m.

Thankfully the Professor and Wolverine had cancelled training sessions for the next few days to give everyone a chance to rest and recover from yesterday's terrible loss. Tears stung the red head's eyes for a moment as she thought back to the Professor's words.

Rogue was dead.

Jean sighed and rolled onto her side, clutching her large stuffed brown teddy bear to her chest. Scott had won it for her at the spring carnival a week before graduation.

She buried her nose in the faux fur. It smelled like him and she took comfort in the familiarity.

Scott.

She had always known that Rogue had a small crush on him, but Jean had hoped that with a little time and work, the gothic girl would grow up and grow out of it.

Jean rolled onto her back with the stuffed bear still secured in her embrace and sighed again.

Now, Rogue would never know what real love felt like. She would never have the chance to experience the butterflies of a first kiss; never feel that floating on air sensation from her first real dance; never get lost in the comforting embrace of a lover's touch; she would never do any of the things other "normal" girls got to do.

Jean never got along well with the girl, but that didn't mean she didn't care. Of course she cared. They had never been 'friends' and gone to movies or shopping or stuff like that, but Rogue's her teammate – her family.

The redhead winced. Well, she WAS her family. The knowledge that one of her teammates, her family, had been killed because of their failure was sickening.

And she had never been truly close to Rogue either. Jean could only imagine what the others – especially Kitty and Kurt – were going through. Everyone felt guilty, but those privileged few that Rogue had been close to were devastated. Those few were the main reason sleep was eluding Jean now.

Kurt, Kitty, Wolverine and even Scott were feeling the real pangs of Rogue's loss and that overpowering grief, coupled with the anger, fear and sadness emanating from the other students was enough to drive Jean's control over the brink.

Jean groaned as another surge of desperation and regret washed over her. This one was stronger than the others and she new immediately to whom it belonged.

Scott wasn't sleeping either.

Jean had to bite her lip in order to bring the swell back under control and for a moment, she was actually jealous.

Scott was thinking very hard about Rogue and his thoughts and feelings for his dead friend were leaking through Jean's psychic barrier.

She knew he was suffering with the recent events, but she had no idea how strongly he felt about the other girl. Instead of snooping into his emotions any further, Jean opened their psychic link.

'Scott?' she whispered in her mind.

'Jean? You awake too?' he answered and she could hear the fatigue and sorrow in his voice.

'Yeah, can't sleep either. Too many people projecting. I'm having a hard time keeping up my shields,' she responded wearily.

He did not reply, but a few moments later she heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. She opened it telekinetically and Scott quietly snuck in. His long blue drawstring pants and plain white tee shirt were wrinkled and damp with sweat. His feet were bare and his hair was wild and unkempt. It was a very different image from that of the controlled, tidy leader to whom she was accustomed.

'You're going to be in big trouble if Logan catches you here,' she admonished him.

He smiled lightly, but she knew it was just a half-hearted attempt. 'Let him catch me, I don't care anymore. Not when the woman I love needs me.'

"Oh Scott," she whispered aloud as a single tear coursed down her cheek. Whether it was from her own grief or his she wasn't sure.

In a few strides he was beside her on the bed and she molded herself to his side. He wrapped his right arm around her shoulders and his left snaked over to soothe back the tangled red hair.

He kissed her forehead and rested his cheek against her hairline. Inhaling the fading scent of gardenia and vanilla, Scott tried to calm his thoughts and center his psyche. He knew that his troubled emotions were wreaking havoc on his girlfriend's overloaded mind, but he didn't know how she had gleaned from him already.

They were silent for a moment before Jean finally squeaked out, "Scott, I know this is stupid under the circumstances, but…how did you really feel about Rogue?"

He stared quizzically at her for a moment before frowning deeply.

"What makes you ask that?"

Jean blushed violently and buried her head under his chin.

"I – I'm sorry. I know it's dumb, but – but I you were projecting and I couldn't help but notice…"

"Oh honey," he chastised lightly, "I cared for Rogue, but not like that. I had a feeling that she liked me for a while but once she realized how in love we are, she never really wanted to be around me. I guess I feel a little guilty you know? She was practically starving for attention from someone and I was the only one she was really comfortable around at first."

He heaved a great sigh and nuzzled his girlfriend's hair again.

"I just can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I had at least stayed friends with her, talked with her more. Maybe I would have realized something was wrong before Apocalypse got to her. She walked around here for days while under Mesmero's control and no one ever… What kind of a leader does that make me? I had an inkling that something was wrong with her, but I couldn't find the guts to ask? It shouldn't have happened this way."

Jean brushed her thumb across Scott's cheek and he turned to look at her.

"Scott, I know you feel guilty and there are probably dozens of 'what ifs' running through your head right now, but you're not to blame. Nothing you could have done would have changed how things worked out. You were a really good friend to her, better than most of us." The redhead hung her head and sighed again.

Scott tipped her chin up so he could read his expression and the genuine emotion there.

"Jean, you can't help the past. Rogue was a tough person to get close to, especially if she didn't want to get close."

"Oh I know, but I still could have tried harder. I never even thanked her for saving me when my powers went nuts. What kind of friend does that make ME? I mean, I'm a telepath. I knew she hurting. I knew how much she hated seeing us together because it was just another reminder to her that she would never… And I, I hated seeing her with you because I knew – I KNEW – how much she liked you. How much she idolized you. You were the only one that ever gave her a shot and made her feel welcome and I … I even took that away from her."

Jean realized a strangled sob as she was succumbed by her own guilt and grief and Scott soothed her as best as he could.

"Shh, shh honey; I know. I know how you feel. Everyone feels guilty; everyone wishes they would have tried harder, been a better friend; but, you can't force someone to talk to you or open up. Rogue had a really hard life and she didn't trust easily. I just wish she could have learned to trust us." Scott sighed and rested his head on Jean's as she cried in his arms.

Soon, they were both emotionally spent and with the love and comfort radiating from each other, they fell into a dreamless slumber.

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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kurt Wagner bolted upright in bed seizing his chest and gasping for air. His long blue hair was matted to his forehead and stuck to the back of his neck. His gray t-shirt clung to his sweat drenched fur and the sheets, dark with moisture in spots, were twisted around his legs, pinning him down to the bed.

The boy continued to cough and wheeze as he wrapped both arms around his ribs and heavy tears leaked down his face.

XXX

Kitty was sleeping in her own room down the hall when she heard her favorite furry friend scream.

The soul-wrenching cry caused her to phase through the bed, but she was quickly on her feet again and bolting through the walls to Kurt's room.

The scream had apparently awoken most of the house and Kitty heard many shouts of protest and alarm as she phased through each room, but did not stop.

Amara, Rahne and Jubilee shrieked in surprise as they saw Kitty's ghost burst through their bodies and into the opposite wall.

Bobby, Ray, Lance and Pietro all jumped from their beds and sleeping bags after hearing Kurt's scream, but the former three were all frozen in place as they tried to shield their eyes.

"Oh my God, Pietro! Put some damn clothes on man!" Lance shouted as Kitty came running through the wall.

She failed to notice Pietro's 'wardrobe malfunction' however, as she continued tearing through each bedroom. For once the slight girl was actually faster than Quicksilver himself and phased through the boy before he even had a chance to cover himself.

"Kitty wait! What's going on?" Lance called after his off again girlfriend, but she simply ignored the boy as she continued on.

In the next room, Piotr was throwing on a long robe as Pyro snored loudly and murmured in his sleep. As Kitty came throw the wall in front of him, Colossus jumped slightly but quickly recovered as he reached for her.

"Katjya!" he cried and grabbed for her hand. Instead of going through it though, he was able to latch on to her wrist gently as he ran forward with her. "I am coming too!"

Kitty looked back to him and nodded silently as she barreled harmlessly through the next wall and Piotr flinched slightly as his arm was swallowed up in her wake.

XXX

Kurt was still hunched over in bed as Kitty and Piotr came through the wall.

Kitty immediately released the Acolyte's hand to climb onto her friend's bed and rub his back as she coaxed him to breathe.

Immediately Jean and Scott, followed by the Professor and Hank threw open the bedroom door. Scott's hand was already positioned next to his glasses ready for an attack, but he calmed when he realized there was no imminent threat.

Hank took in the boy's pale complexion and the grimacing snarl and quickly shooed Kitty from the bed.

"Kurt, are you injured?" Hank asked as he peeled Kurt's hand away from his ribs and searched for a pulse.

Blood was pounding through Kurt's veins and although the physical pain seemed to be subsiding, it seemed the emotional pain was just becoming visible.

Kurt shook his head but left his free arm over his ribs.

"Rogue," he moaned as more tears slipped over his cheeks.

A collective sigh of release permeated the air.

"Kurt," the Professor started, "it's alright; it was just a nightmare."

"Nein! It was Rogue!" Kurt exclaimed, jumping from the bed. "She's in pain! Apocalypse is killing her! We have to save her!!"

"Kurt," the Professor explained quietly while taking the boy's hand, "Rogue is not in pain any longer, you know this. It was only a dream."

"No! It wasn't a dream! I could feel everything; she's so scared! Please Professor, we must find her!"

"Kurt," he tried again.

"NO! I know what I saw! I saw Rogue, I saw mein schwester!"

By this time all of the Mansion's occupants had gathered around Kurt's door and the Professor silently asked Ororo to escort the crowd back to their rooms.

When she had shut the door, the Professor turned back to Kurt who was quickly losing patience.

"I'm telling you it was Rogue! She's alive and she needs our help! Look in my head if you don't believe me!!" he shouted, nearly desperate now.

"Alright Kurt, I will, but you must stay calm. Perhaps you would like to explain what you saw while we move his downstairs. I'd prefer to use Cerebro for this. The current atmosphere makes concentrating rather difficult."

The group made their way down to the basement as Kurt, assisted by Kitty and Hank, told the Professor of his vision.

XXX

"I could feel her Professor; her pain, fear, hope, everything. It's almost like I was there with her, watching it all from above, but I could do nothzing to help her." Tears stung Kurt's eyes again as he recalled his sister's agony.

"I know I was not dreaming. It vas too real."

The Professor nodded as he slipped Cerebro on his head. "And what of the pain in your ribs, Kurt? Is it fading?"

"Ja, it is a little. But it is not my pain zat concerns me."

"Of course," Xavier replied and gestured to a nearby chair, "please, take a seat Kurt."

The boy sat obediently with his legs drawn up under him. Aside from his agitated tail and labored breathing, Nightcrawler looked very much like a watchful gargoyle.

"I'm going to use Cerebro to reflect the images on to the screen. They could be of use to us."

Magneto, who had joined them en route, nodded his agreement. "If he has truly had a vision then perhaps it can help us locate Apocalypse."

Xavier turned to Kurt and smiled kindly. "All right Kurt, just relax and focus on the dream."

Kurt's shoulders slumped slightly and his tail ceased twitching, but his brow was drawn tightly.

Xavier placed his hands on either side of Nightcrawler's head and within seconds an image of Rogue, wearing a long, sleeveless black dress appeared on the screen. The screen was etched in black and the only indicators that it was truly Rogue was her pale skin an white streaks in her hair.

Without sound, she began running through the halls, a look of terror building on her darkened face. It was difficult to see her exact expression in the dim lighting, but her wide eyes and constant glances over her shoulder were telling enough. She had an arm wrapped around her ribs much like Kurt had when waking and a few moments later she came to intersection and doubled over.

As she tried to stand again, the crowd could see her chest heaving as sweat glistened from her face and caused her hair to stick it.

An unexpected cackle reverberated through the war room and the occupants, including Magneto himself, all jumped at the unexpected sound. Much like Rogue on the screen, they all shielded their ears with their hands and watched as a pair of large purple eyes glowed and began to dominate the screen.

Jean reached for Scott as she tried to control her own fear and block out the rioting emotions through the room. Kitty gasped and turned her face into Piotr's abdomen. The Russian flinched slightly at the unexpected contact, but rested one hand on the girl's shoulder while the other brushed through her hair soothingly.

Rogue quickly came back into view, but this time she was huddled in a corner with tears in her eyes. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she was practically shaking with terror.

Apocalypse was crouched a mere arm's length away.

He reached out to caress her face and Rogue turned her head toward the screen away from him.

To the group in the war room, it was as if she was looking straight at them and begging for help that would never come. They watched as Apocalypse's hand traveled farther and Scott had to bite back the bile that was rising in his throat.

Kitty made to look back at the screen, but Piotr bent toward her and whispered in her ear. She stilled immediately and kept her face burrowed securely in the large man's arms.

On the monitor, Rogue suddenly launched herself at Apocalypse, breaking his nose before bringing a sharp heel down on his groin.

From the back of the room, Logan growled.

"That's my girl."

Jean and Hank turned to look at the latecomer, but quickly turned their attention back to the screen as Rogue let out a piercing shriek.

She was being dragged across the stone floor, her fingernails being torn away by the rough surface.

Kitty clasped both hands over her ears after sneaking a regretful peek at the commotion on the monitor and once again turned back to the Russian Acolyte's embrace.

Logan's claws extended involuntarily as he watched Apocalypse pin Rogue's arms over her head and Jean too turned her face into Scott's shoulder as tears streamed down the girl's face.

As Magneto, Logan, Scott, Hank & Colossus watched, Rogue threw back her head and screamed silently before Apocalypse crushed his mouth over hers.

"Dear God," Xavier muttered as he pulled Cerebro from his head and placed it upon the counter.

"Well Chuck, that seemed pretty real to me," Logan bit out from the back. No one really noticed the six new claw marks running down the wall behind him.

Piotr removed his arm from Kitty's shoulder with a gentle squeeze and the girl looked up at him rather sheepishly as she wrapped her arms around her middle. She took a single step back from him, but still stayed close to his side.

"Is it possible that the girl is still alive Charles?" Eric asked as he stepped closer to Xavier.

"I just don't see how it can be Eric. I felt her very life force being extinguished. That only happens when a mutant, or human for that matter, dies a true death. When the body has expelled it's last breath and the heart beats for the last time that life energy is extinguished. In certain cases, there have been times when a person has been revived from the land of the dead, but with Rogue I would be able to sense her mutant powers being re-ignited."

Xavier was met by skeptical looks from Logan and the students.

"Before you ask Logan, in ENGLISH, it is much like the metaphor of a candle. When lit, I can hold my hand over the flame and feel the heat – in the same way I can use Cerebro to feel the "heat" from a mutant's energy, their powers. When the flame is extinguished, the heat flares for a moment before vanishing. If the flame were to be lit again, if Rogue had been brought back to life, I would feel the energy, the "heat" of her mutant powers coming alive again."

Kurt stood finally, still a little shaky from the force of the dream, and asked, "But what about the vision? You just saw it! You felt it just like I did! That can't be a dream, it was too real!"

"I agree Kurt, I doubt it was a mere dream at this point," Xavier agreed and turned back to replace Cerebro on his head. "I will continue to scan for any sign of Apocalypse, Rogue or Gambit, but in the meantime I would advise that you all guard your thoughts well. This may be a machination from Apocalypse himself. Perhaps another way to rattle us into making a rash decision."

With those final words Xavier left with Magneto to visit the Cerebro room, leaving Hank to usher the other students back upstairs.

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Oh. My. Gods.

Worst chapter ever, I know, I'm SOO sorry! My husband only got back in town Thursday night and I've written practically this whole thing (minus 1.5 of 10 pages) in a few hours. I'm going to go back and focus on Rogue and Remy again next chapter – I think I've got a few ideas of what I want to do now.

I'm going to start mapping out a few ideas on paper as that usually helps me find a direction once I get stuck. Other than that, just PRAY that my muse will find his/her voice again and yell really loud in my ear.

My muse is also fueled by really good reviews (especially a large number of them or a few in depth, lengthy ones). So the more people who review, the more likely my muse will be to find his/her voice again! So review people!

Thanks to all the last reviews too – it seems a good many people are figuring out my direction with this story. Damn! I must be too obvious…

Time for a plot twist! Just kidding. I'm not at a point in my writing career where I can do plot twists really well yet so I'm going to leave them to the professionals. Hopefully I can make up for the lack of originality by writing the scenes really, really well.

Oh well, see you next Friday!

Love and light

Wiccamage

P.S. j.d. – "A Different Kind of Christmas" will be hot on the presses once this story is over. I'm hoping before mid December.