Shadows of the Past

by SashaWeiss

A blind Hero bears the weight of inescapable destiny. The heir of Twilight falls through time, lost and alone. A Sheikah woman, weary of her duty, seeks a different purpose. Three souls are snared by strange circumstances and brought together by a far stranger fate. A princess goes missing, ancient enemies reawaken, and even older prophecies seek fulfillment in a fallen world.

4. Prologue: Part 4

A/N: Hello again. I just want to say, to anyone that reads my other works. I haven't forgotten them. Moving has been just one of the many stressful and time consuming things recently. I haven't been able to write very much at all. To those who just read this one, please enjoy!

- Prologue -

Part 4: Sheikah

Midna eyes the Sheikah village with more than a little distaste. The entire valley has buildings and farms built into it. There must be at least fifty or more buildings scattering the hidden village. White hair and red eyes are abundant in this space. She feels their eyes and yearns to flee. So many people of the unfamiliar race surround them, with their dark and bloodstained history. She can almost feel the ghosts of the past calling out to her. Can almost taste the taint of their tribe's sins in the air. It's enough to drive a woman mad.

They'd left their horses near the entrance of the Valley. It had taken them the better part of an hour to make the rest of the journey on foot. The sun has almost set and the long shadows only add to the menacing aura the village exudes. The other travelers they've seen from Hylian to Lorulean to Rito. None of them seem to sense it. They're all here to see the mysterious new ruins, while remaining blissfully unaware of the death that permeates the space.

"I hate it," Midna states with a definitive finality. "I want to leave."

"Midna," Lila's gentle admonishment makes her groan. "It'll be one night, two at worst. I promise it's going to be okay. I'll protect you."

"Lila-va. Please... We can just camp outside the valley. Then we can come back and work during the day," Midna's not above begging. She'll fall on her hands and knees if she thinks it would make a difference.

"You can go camping, but I'm getting a nice warm bed," Lila's simple reply ruins any hope Midna has. She knows that Lila's serious.

"In no world, do I leave you in this village alone," Midna means to snap it out, but hates how petulant her voice sounds in her own ears. "It... Ugh... I am trying. I am."

The hand on her arm offers a gentle squeeze as Lila replies, "I know Midna. It shows. It means a lot to me." That's just cheating, Midna thinks as her heart skips.

She pulls the woman closer as they approach the large building in the back of the village. The building is situated atop an outcropping of rock and surrounded by a pond of water, fed by multiple small waterfalls. She feels electric and on edge. Like hundreds of eyes lurk in the shadows and follow her each step, until the house of the village chief stands before them.

"Nar'e molen..." Midna mutters beneath her breath as Lila makes an amused sound.

"What does that mean?" Her partner wonders.

"Scorching sands," Midna explains and sinks into the comfort of teaching. "It's a classic exclamation of our people. Something of a curse really. When I was younger Father would have my mouth rinsed with soap if I were caught saying such crude things." She tries to mimic his deep voice as she says, "'As daughter of the chief and heir to Twilight, you should be above such coarseness, Mahvehvini.' He was a good chief and a better man... I miss him dearly."

As they arrive at the foot of a large staircase that leads to the building, Lila comes to a stop and Midna follows suit. She looks at the blindfolded woman as a pale hand touches her cheek. She lets Lila bring their foreheads together as the shorter of them says, "I'm here for you. I would like to hear more about him and any other tales from before you came. I can tell that you are suffering and I would ease that pain. When – if – ever you want, know that I am here."

Midna's lips turn up in a watery smile. She won't cry. She will not allow herself tears – weakness in any form – in this dark place. Still though, she says, "Thank you... Hililini. Lila-va. I... I am here for you as well. I know you worry for your brother, and Zelda... I can see your own burden weighing upon your shoulders. I would aid you as well."

"I will take you up on that sometime soon," Lila's promise fills her with warmth.

She truthfully does look forward to reciprocating. Their lives all came and went in a time long, long past. She would see that someone remembers them. Her family, friends... herself... It isn't lost on her that she's a woman out of time. She can't tell what she fears more at this point. Never returning to her time... or leaving this one behind. That scares her too. A lot of things scare Midna recently.

Midna clears her throat and leans back, effectively ending the tense moment. She turns her eyes to the village elder's house to see a Sheikah woman watching them. She's dressed in the cream and deep blue robes of their people but these seem somehow less intricate but more telling in a way. The large straw hat with hanging pendulums and their tribal symbol drawn upon her face is even more so. It must be this Paya woman she's heard about.

There's a flicker of emotion but Midna doesn't know the Sheikah well enough to place it. Her amber eyes are locked on Lila before finally meeting her own. They stare at each other in a long thick silence. Midna's proud that she doesn't crack first. She holds the soft looking woman's eyes with a challenge in her own. Say something, do something, speak out if you must, Midna dares her silently.

In the end, the Sheikah averts her eyes first. Even Midna can recognize the deep sadness that settles on the woman's features for a long moment, before she schools herself and approaches the pair. It's a sadness, a loneliness that Midna understands... intimately. She warms to the Sheikah woman, just a little, but she'll cut her tongue off before admitting it.

"Hello Lila. It's me Paya. It is good to see you..." Lila releases her arm to embrace Paya in a familiar embrace. Midna ignores the sharp stab of unkind emotions in her chest. Two days, she reminds herself. She's known her for two days, Midna thinks that she needs to calm down. She's getting too ahead of herself.

"Paya... It is truly good to hear your voice. It's been too long," Lila's voice is warm and airy. It makes her chest ache. Blessedly, the embrace ends and Lila motions towards her. "Please, meet my new companion, Midna. Midna, this is Paya. I've told her much about you, Paya, so I'm afraid you'll be at the disadvantage."

Midna offers her hand politely, while doing her best to rein in her more aggressive urges. She's a trained mage of the Twilight Tower, compartmentalizing is a basic skill. She's the daughter of Ganondorf and the Twilight Queen. She's above jealousy. Definitely.

Paya takes her hand lightly and a brief jolt strikes her palm. From Paya's sharp intake, Midna's not the only one who felt it. The Sheikah's eyes study her in the silence. Up close, Midna can almost appreciate the woman's blend of soft eyes, button nose, and sharp jaw. The gentle light in her almost golden eyes as she offers a small, shy smile.

Midna blinks as she realizes that she's mirroring the small smile. She swallows thickly and this time it's her who wilts under the Sheikah's kind gaze. It doesn't belong on a Sheikah, but... Midna's eyes flicker back to see a dust of pink on Paya's cheeks, mimicking her own warm flush. Maybe she has been overly dramatic... Surely they can't all be as bad as she's been taught to fear. If Lila trusts this woman... then maybe she can try too.

"Sav'saaba. It's a pleasure to meet you Paya. Lila-va speaks true. She has told me much about you. It is good to finally put a face to the name," Midna speaks as Lila lays a hand on her arm. The appreciative smile on Lila's face puts her at further ease.

"Sav'saaba, Midna of the Twili... It is my greatest honor to meet you," Paya replies in an almost breathless tone. Amber eyes flicker down and Midna realizes that their hands are still bound. Her face flushes with a worse heat as she pulls her hand back in a jerky motion. Paya lets out a soft laugh and Midna clears her throat.

"How did you know that I am Twili?" She questions, desperate to distract from her own embarrassment.

Paya's smile is brittle, almost sorrowful. "We Sheikah have long memories... Almost as long as the Twili themselves. We have waited many, many years for this moment. Please, if you would both be so inclined... Join me inside for some tea?"

"That sounds delightful, Paya," Lila states as she wraps her arm around Midna's once more. She sees Paya's eyes fall on their arms and the woman immediately turns towards the house.

"Please, follow me then. We have much to discuss." Midna takes the steps slowly, making sure to match Lila's pace. They enter the building directly behind the woman. "I suppose you wouldn't know yet, Lila... But my grandmother has stepped down. I am chief of the Sheikah now."

"Oh wow... that's quite the responsibility to be given," Lila states as Midna takes in the open space.

The walls are lined with shelves covered in pages and pages of notes and research have begun to cover the space. On the floor the right side is covered in a line of cushions for holding audience. To the left is a small table with similar cushions around it. Towards the back is a raised platform with a single worn cushion on it. The whole building is made of wood, and more wood. Streamers and metallic Sheikah eyes decorate the walls and rafters.

"It is certainly... trying. Please, have a seat," Paya motions towards the table and Midna nods. She guides Lila to a seat before taking her own place on the woman's left. She sits on her legs while Lila sits cross-legged. Paya motions to the rooms only other occupant, a large man with thick facial hair and an aged face. "Dorian, would you be so kind as to give us some space?"

His gray, almost blue, eyes fall on Midna and she scowls at him. His lips curl back in distaste and he makes as if to argue, but Paya clears her throat before he can. Midna meets the chief's pleading eyes and – though it pains her – she schools her features into something more personable. "I promise that no harm shall befall Paya Ko'sha. On my honor as a Princess of Twilight."

The promise seems to mollify the man and he bows once before leaving the building with heavy footsteps. Lila's hand lands on her thigh and Midna covers it with her own before slipping her fingers around the soft appendage. She takes a deep shuddering breath and rolls her shoulders, as if the action would remove the weight of this tribe's sins from her shoulders. The very air is stale with them. She's trying. Truly.

Paya walks to the shelf just on their left and begins preparing a kettle of water. As the flame of a small stove begins to heat the liquid Lila speaks, "How have you been Paya, truthfully? I've wondered about you often. It's been... months now?"

"Three... to be precise," Paya agrees with her back to them. "I am doing as well as can be expected. I... Didn't expect to be bearing such a burden so soon. Grandmother thrust this upon me with next to no warning. I don't feel prepared. Dorian... Well he seems to run the village more than I do at this point."

"Surely you're being too hard on yourself," Lila tries and Midna sees the quiet shake of Paya's head.

"I wish it were true. Honestly though, I've been so caught up with these new ruins that I haven't had much time for other pursuits. I want to be more than a chief who leads from her hall with quiet wisdom." Midna watches as Paya turns around and meets her gaze with a fire that she hadn't known the woman possessed. "We have hidden in the shadows and left the world to its own devices for too long. It is time for the Sheikah to return to the light and serve the good."

"Paya-ga..." Midna begins while squeezing firmly onto Lila's hand. "There is a reason that the Sheikah have hidden themselves away. There is a curse on your tribe. By hiding away you have done the most service you can for the world."

"I am aware, Lady Midna. The words of the curse have passed down from my lineage since days of old. Words that have been kept, until Twilight and Darkness walked the world together again..." Lila makes a confused noise. "The curse, as I've read it, goes like this-" Paya's eyes close and she recites the ancient curse, just as Midna had memorized it.

"'No more shall the Sheikah serve faithfully the Light. Thy every action shall be met with futility. For every good deed, evil shall answer two-fold. For every evil deed thy commit, evil shall befall thee in kind. Woe to thou loathsome dogs who have harmed my child. By my eyes and by my womb and by my very life, I lay this curse upon thy blood and thy flesh and thy very souls. Until the blood of my blood shall walk the world once more from eternal slumber. Until the heir of Twilight kneels to thine kind, willingly and faithfully. Until my spirit shall accept thy kind as its own.'"

"Such was the curse laid upon my people by the Demon Queen. That is our oldest tale and our most sacred..." Paya trails off as Lila is practically vibrating next to Midna. The Twili looks at her companion and struggles to gauge her emotions. The hand in hers clings tightly to her fingers.

"You mean to say... That when they created the Divine Beasts and the ancient technology... The Sheikah knew what would come after? That all of this suffering would be born from their actions?" Midna can see tears escaping the fabric of Lila's blindfold and restrains herself from wiping them away.

She has no place in this conversation as of yet. Instead she just holds Lila's hand and remains silent. Merely observing them and preparing to step in if things devolve. She watches Paya step forward and lower herself to sit on her legs across from Lila.

"Lila... I believe they did..." Paya states in a soft, sorrowful tone. Her eyes are downcast and Midna can see the depths of her pain written in the almost empty gaze. "Just like... they had to know what would happen when we unearthed the technology over one hundred years ago."

"Then... Why?" Lila's voice is crackling and hollow. That single word carries so much weight behind it. Why... Midna can't help but wonder the same. She's heard the vague, overarching tale. How the Sheikah technology was brought to bear a second time against this Great Calamity. Calamity Ganon... It bears a Gerudo name... An uncomfortably familiar Gerudo name. It is the word for Dark Magic, so the coincidence is likely that. A coincidence and nothing more.

"The world would not have survived if we hadn't. The Twili had locked themselves away. The Champion of the Dark wouldn't reach her true potential... The world wouldn't survive if we didn't intervene. It was the lesser of two evils… from what I have been made to understand." Paya explains in a calm tone that is in sharp contrast to the devastated suffering on her features.

Midna feels a twinge in her heart. She has the faint desire to ease the woman's suffering. Her hand twitches towards the Sheikah before she stops it. When did she become so soft? What is happening to her?

"Paya... How long have you known?" Lila asks and Midna feels like something heavy and dark lingers behind the Lorulean's question. The precipice of betrayal and heartbreak.

"Lila I... I've known since Grandmother named me chief. It is passed down in preserved texts that have existed for millennia," Paya's words ease the heavy weight in the room.

Lila's next question weighs even heavier, "Would you have told me... if you had known? Would you have shared any of this with me?" Midna can feel the strain her partner is under. She can't blame her. "We could have tried to prepare in some way. We could've saved people. I... I spent six years, Paya, blaming myself. Hating myself. Thousands of lives on my shoulders, and Impa didn't say anything. Nobody said anything. Would you have told me?"

The Sheikah doesn't wilt, exactly, but her eyes will not lift from the table. Midna can not decide if it is from shame or merely self reflection. "I do not think this is a fair question, Lila-va," Midna finally speaks even as the Sheikah's sparkling amber eyes meet her own. "It is impossible to know how one would handle such things in times of such stress. I can only imagine how hard it was for you all those years ago, but this Impa may not have known when she was younger either. It would be unfair to place such blame upon her, without hearing her side. For now... maybe it is enough that Paya-ga is telling you now?"

Lila takes a deep, shuddering breath and Paya's eyes shine with unshed tears and gratitude. Midna tears her gaze from the white haired woman and watches Lila stretch her free hand across the table. She turns her gaze to the research papers on the wall as Lila says, "Midna is right. It means the world to me, Paya... That you're telling me this. It... It takes much of the weight from my shoulders... I apologize for being so harsh towards you."

"I-It's okay, Lila... I understand that you must be dealing with much. I've heard a little about what has happened from Purah. She's told me that Zelda and Link have been missing. I'm here for you, should you ever need a shoulder or an ear."

Midna glances over to see their hands twined tightly together. Paya has this soft expression on her face as she looks at Lila that causes a strange mix of emotions in her chest. She swallows a thick knot and turns away. Suddenly she feels like an intruder. She can't stay here right now. She needs to go, to find some space to get her head straight.

"I... It might be best that I give you some time to catch up," Midna states in a tone that is nowhere near as firm as she'd like. The sudden raw emotion shouldn't be there. Lila's hand grasps her wrist as she makes to stand.

"W-wait! What- Where are you going?" Lila's voice is thick with surprise and anxiety. "You don't have to leave."

"It is alright, I shall not be far... You should catch up with your.. friend," Midna's tight smile doesn't go unnoticed by the Sheikah. She can see the woman thinking rapidly as her eyes flicker between the pair. "I shall go secure us a room for the night at the inn we passed."

"We can go rest together soon, and we have a place already. Please, stay..." Midna feels her resolve cracking under the pleading in Lila's voice. It shatters completely as the Sheikah reaches across the small table to rest her fingertips lightly on Midna's trapped hand. A sincere, if nervous, expression sits on Paya's face along with a light dust of pink on her cheeks.

"Stay with us?" Paya asks in a soft, maybe even shy tone.

Midna should hate her. Should storm out that door in a rage that the woman touched her. She shouldn't be lowering herself to sit once more, with a warm flush in her cheeks. Her stomach shouldn't be so fluttery and weak as a smile lights up Paya's face. One that matches the warm smile on Lila's lips. Her heart shouldn't be skipping and pounding in her chest. The air turns tense and heavy as Midna realizes neither woman has moved, her skin tingles where they're touching her. Then Lila shifts and soft lips are on her cheek.

"Thank you..." Lila breathes in her ear. "It- I... Thank you."

If her heart was racing before, then it is about to burst from her chest now. Her vermilion eyes fall on Paya, expecting to see some form of regret or jealousy. Instead the Sheikah's lips are parted and her eyes have darkened considerably. Oh sweet goddesses, Midna's breath catches in her throat as those darkened amber eyes meet her gaze.

It's an expression she isn't a stranger to but can hardly believe she's seeing it now. Midna holds the Sheikah's gaze steadily while – in a fit of insanity – she turns over her hand. Paya's palm now rests lightly across her own, slightly calloused and strong fingers rest on her own. Lila's hand drifts down from her wrist and the Lorulean's breath skips when she feels the extra hand in Midna's own. She and Paya both turn their gazes to the violet haired woman.

Lila's lips are parted and she seems almost stunned. Midna begins to think that she's mistaken everything, though she still doesn't know what everything is. Panic starts building in her chest and she's preparing to flee. Just when she starts to tense, Lila finally moves again. Her pale hand settles atop Paya's and her fingers wrap around their joined hands. Midna doesn't understand what's happening and she's terrified and confused. But she doesn't want it to stop.

Paya's face begins to flood with a bright crimson, but she doesn't move away. A small, thin smile pulls at Lila's lips and the room suddenly feels very dangerous. Midna thinks she should run if she wants to survive. The Sheikah seems to be of the same mind as wide golden eyes meet her vermilion. Yet neither of them move, as if trapped by some invisible force. Until the whistle of the tea kettle cuts through the tension.

Paya pulls away even as Lila jumps as if in surprise. Midna bursts into laughter at the snapping of the tension. The absurdity and confusion finds a home in mirth. Lila leans into her side, joining in on the ridiculous laughter. Paya just watches them for a moment, confusion and hurt on her face. Midna reaches across the table to touch the woman's arm.

"It's not you... I'm just... It's been a long couple of days..." Midna manages to speak through the aftershocks of her laughter. The Sheikah's expression softens somewhat before she rises to tend to the tea. Midna leans back on her legs and lets out a long sigh. How true her statement is begins to settle in.

She's been thrust forward at least ten thousand years, probably more all things considered. Then she met the reborn Demon Queen and is now sharing tea with her and a Sheikah. Father would never believe her. Nobody sane could believe her. Yet here she is.

"Are you doing alright, Midna? Truly?" Lila wonders in a low voice.

Midna cups Lila's chin and – on a potentially dangerous whim – pulls her into a gentle kiss. It's easier, she feels, than words would be. Because, no, she isn't alright... But as Lila's hands come up and cradle her face, she thinks that she will be. By the Golden Gods... What is becoming of her? She's truly losing it.

/-/

Paya carefully places the hat of the chief upon what was once her Grandmother's seat. She snuffs out the candles on either side of the placement with a gentle pinch to each wick. The faint heat on her fingertips is grounding. It brings her back from the melancholy and exhaustion that threatens to consume her. "Why did you thrust this so suddenly upon me," She asks into the empty air. She wishes that her grandmother were here, to provide answers. "I'm not ready. I don't... I don't want it."

Duty. The word that defines their tribe. A word that has defined them since time immemorial. Sheikah have always been bound to their duty, to the Goddess, to the Royal Family... To Hyrule. What a farce. She hates the thought just as she loathes the duty that binds her so. Paya has ever been the dutiful daughter. She has striven her whole life and given all of herself to their ancient duty. But wasn't it that same duty that has doomed them so?

She tries to imagine it. Imagine herself as the one to strike down Lila's son, in the name of Hyrule. She can't do it. It rends her heart and brings forth stinging tears to her eyes. Even the thought of plunging a- She can't finish it. "I'm not strong enough..." Paya nearly cries out as she bows low, pressing her palms and forehead to the floor. "I couldn't possibly harm her in any way. Not even for my people, for Hyrule... Not even for the old Gods."

She remembers her descent into weakness. One that had begun with Link. He had shown up confused and disheveled. She had begun to question if he was even real by that point, or if her Grandmother truly had lost her sanity, at least a piece of it. If it weren't for the Great Seal, holding the Calamity trapped, she wouldn't have ever believed. Then he had shown up, with the Sheikah slate on his waist. The first thing he'd asked was about Lila, his sister. He didn't have any memory except of his twin.

It had broken her heart to see the pain on his face as Grandmother relayed the tale of what had happened a hundred years prior. She remembers how he clenched his fists in his lap and the tears that had fallen from his face. Her Grandmother's stories had always spoken of the stoic, unflappable warrior of legend. She had realized then, seeing the surprise on her Grandmother's face, that Link had been misunderstood. That the Hero of old was just as human as the rest of them.

She remembers seeing him a few more times during his journey. How he would come back looking stronger and more alive each time. Only for that same deep pain to etch itself deeper and deeper into his features. She would find him sometimes, standing and staring at the castle. Most times he would have the Master Sword in hand, the blade seemingly alive and singing a tune in his hands. As if it were trying to calm him. Paya could see the struggle in his eyes, the desire to rush off immediately to the castle warring with the need to free the Divine Beasts.

Paya had almost asked him once, to court her, when she'd found herself braver than usual. She had accompanied him, on his request, to Fort Hateno. His last memory lay in the field of fallen guardians. She had intended to broach the subject of her affection, after it was done. She remembers vividly when the memories had come flooding back. He had gone stiff as a board. Then a minute passed and another... then he had sunk to his knees with hollow breaths. She asked him about what he had seen.

'I failed,' He had stated with dim eyes turning on her. 'I failed and now my sister and... and Zelda.. they have suffered for a hundred years due to my weakness. How do I... How do I go on? How can I ever face them again?'

She hadn't had an answer for him. She had simply taken his hand and pulled him to his feet. The piece of her that had begun to fall in love with him changed that day. She did love him, just not a romantic love. She could see that there simply wasn't room in his heart for her and that was okay. He hugged her then and she returned it. She held him as he cried into her shoulder. She knew that he would – could – only ever be a dear friend to her heart.

Paya had begun to hate her duty then. That she had to be confined to her tribe as this broken man was out there saving the world. She couldn't understand it. The Sheikah were servants of Hyrule. They should've been out there, combating the darkness, eradicating the Yiga, even simply aiding the people of Hyrule. She envied her great-aunt Purah of that. The fact that she could so easily shun her tribe and family to aid the world at large.

Then Link had succeeded... Saved the world and brought an end to the Calamity. She met Zelda and Lila. Her heart had almost stopped at first sight of the woman, Link's sister. She was so obviously his twin. The same face shape, the same eyes, the same nose. She even shared his smile. But instead of the bright blue and warm gold of his hair, she was a daughter of darkness. Her violet hair and pale skin marked it out clearly. Paya's devotion to her duty had cracked even farther on that first sight.

Princess Zelda herself was standing in front of Paya, but all she could do was stare at the Hero of Shadow and her tattered blindfold. She had stepped forward and introduced herself in a breathless tone. Lila's smile had melted her heart. When she'd finally gathered her wits, she realized Link was watching her with a knowing smile. Princess Zelda even had an amused expression. Paya had been absolutely mortified.

She had panicked and spilled the tray of tea she'd forgotten she was carrying. The old ceramics had shattered across the floor and she had been absolutely humiliated. Even more so, when Lila had knelt down to try and aid the cleaning effort. Paya had insisted that the blinded woman not bother herself. Only to see the hurt and frustration in the set of the woman's jaw as she continued anyway. Paya never insulted the woman's capabilities again. She refused to hurt the Hero that had helped save the world.

She had seen Lila many times since that first meeting. The woman had come with Link and Zelda during their many journeys across Hyrule. Paya had been blessed enough to enjoy the woman's presence each and every time. They had grown rather close though Paya had never been brave enough to reveal her feelings for the other woman. She'd been too attached to her duty and too afraid of ruining the relationship they already had.

Paya wasn't blind either. She was aware that Lila had begun to distance herself from her. It was almost painfully obvious from their last meeting a few months back. Lila had been polite and kind as ever, but she'd shied away from Paya's touch and been more withdrawn and quiet than usual. Never had Paya felt so lost. She had known deep down, on some primal level, that if she didn't make that impossible choice... Lila would be lost to her.

Her duty weighs around her like a chain. Her ancient lineage holds her trapped in the depths of destiny. She feels like she's drowning in it and reaching desperately for the light, struggling to break the surface of fate's murky depths. Now, the heir of Twilight appears and turns her world upon its head once more. Paya couldn't begin to understand her own heart. She thinks that it's unreasonable. First she had begun to fall for Link. Then she truly had fallen for Lila... now those piercing vermilion eyes have sparked something in her chest that shouldn't be possible.

She feels greedy and uncertain. That faint spark when they first touched had stirred to life faded embers in her heart. Embers of emotion that should have no place, that she should snuff out right now. But then she remembers the feel of the calloused palm under her hand. The hands of a warrior, the opposite of Lila's soft tender fingers. The touch still burns against her skin. Made only worse by Lila's actions, clasping both of their hands together. A silent acceptance, or maybe an offer... It was enough to plant a traitorous seed of hope in her chained heart. A greedy, maybe even sinful hope. One that finds itself being strangled by her duty.

For the past hour – since the other two went to rest – she's been thinking and thinking and thinking. Trying to find some form of loophole, something to get her out of this trap. She can't just abandon her people. She can't. Not even... Not even for her own heart... Right?

She just doesn't know anymore. She's dedicated so much already, given so much. Would it be so awful to take something for herself? Is it worth it for even the slimmest chance of happiness? Would all of her previous service matter anymore?

...why does it feel harder to care than ever before? Once, serving her tribe was enough to fulfill her traitorous heart.

Paya knows that it isn't a coincidence that her Grandmother stepped down when she did. No, that isn't right. It wasn't that Impa stepped down, but that she raised Paya. Dorian would have been a better choice. The safe choice, the smart choice. Paya licks her dried and cracked lips. A part of her... a part that she fears... that small sliver... It believes that Impa hoped to tie her down. Hoped that the weight of the position, of the title, would be enough to chain Paya once more.

Her Grandmother is old, wise, and certainly observant. She had to know that Paya was struggling. It... is difficult to convince herself that Impa could have missed her yearning for freedom. It had to have been obvious. Looking back, it is obvious to even herself. She just... can't understand why. Why would Impa do this to her?

She's trusted her Grandmother for her entire life. Paya has looked up to the woman and learned from her. She loved – loves – Impa. That is what makes the betrayal feel all the more sharp. It digs the dagger a little deeper into her shoulder blade. She had thought Impa loved her too. That's what makes this all so confusing. She's tried – trying – to make sense of it. Searched for the lesson, for the reasoning. For over a month now, she has tried to come to terms with the betrayal.

There's just nothing else that has presented itself as a true possibility. It hurts her head, the dichotomy of it. Trying to align the woman who has betrayed her, with the woman who raised her. Maybe it truly is as simple as the Twili believed. Maybe betrayal is what it means to be a Sheikah, anything goes, as long as it is in service to Hyrule and the Royal Family. Murder, torture, betrayal. All simply tools of servitude. No deed is too dark, in service of the Light. Is that what it is to be Sheikah? Bloodying her hands to keep clean the hands of Zelda and her kin?

She can't help but wonder... why such deeds are necessary. If such lows must be stooped to, then... Why? Is it truly worth it? The Demon Queen was of the Dark, yes... but the most ancient texts describe a kind, wise woman. A ruler who accomplished as much, if not more, than the Sheikah ever had. Yet she did so nobly and honorably. So... why couldn't they? Lila is just as human as the rest of them. But she's always searching for another way, a better way. Why is that such a novel concept? Why does that realization feel surprising?

Paya doesn't know. She's too lost in murky shadow, mired in it's suffocating depths. What she wants and what is required of her... They conflict so fiercely that she feels that she may be torn completely asunder.

Paya rises from the floor, sitting back on her legs once more. She stares at the hat, at the Sheikah mark resting upon it. Then, slowly and carefully she produces the wrapped package from her robes. She pulls open the strings and gingerly unfolds the thick cloth. A golden compass rests in the palm of her hand. She runs her finger along the edge of it, over the ancient inscription of a long dead language. That she's considering this... It speaks to the strength of her turmoil.

The legends say that to give this to the Daughter of Darkness is to herald the end of the Sheikah. That it will destroy their way of life. But... maybe the time has come for them... Maybe the Sheikah way of life is no longer what the world needs. Maybe it shouldn't have to cower in fear of the shadowed hand of the Light. Fear of the Eye of Truth. Paya scoffs at that. The deeds of their past... that truth would shake the world, she believes. No one alive knows the extent of their deeds, but she knows it to be true in her heart. Their past is one drenched in sin and evil.

The door opens behind her and familiar, heavy steps cross the threshold. Paya rises and turns towards him, the gold of the compass glints and glitters in the dim lantern light. Dorian's eyes fall on the artifact before meeting her own. His expression betrays nothing.

"I..." Paya closes her fist around the artifact. "I do not think that I am fit to remain chief."

"I think you have yet to decide," Dorian's reply is soft but emotionless. Carefully controlled. He is a good Sheikah. "But you must."

"I know," Paya replies as she pulls the artifact to her chest. Holds it over her heart as if it might guide her to the right answer. "It scares me."

"What does?"

"The unknown. If I wrap this Compass up once more... Then the decision will have been made and I shall spend my life as chief of a fallen people. Mere shadows of what we once were. But..."

"At least we'll know what to expect," Dorian confirms as he steps forward. He stops at her side and lowers himself on his legs. She joins him as they both stare at the hat.

"But then... I think about our history. I think about what we've done... And I can't help but wonder..." Paya trails off as she holds out the compass once more. She watches the vermilion point flicker back and forth between the East and West... as if it too, is torn. Is being pulled towards two separate paths. "Maybe it is time our vigil ends. Haven't we served faithfully, since the dawn of time? Maybe it is time for us to take another step."

"Do you not fear the destruction?" Dorian questions and Paya can't help but smile.

"No," She states easily. "It is not the destruction of us, necessarily... but the destruction of the Sheikah way. That... I think it could be good. I believe... that we can be so much more. The Twili managed, didn't they? The dark that served the light, but the change they brought was through words and kindness. We fight with steel and pain."

"The Twili have also abandoned the world. When all else fails, it is the Sheikah who are there to save Hyrule. To guide the Princess, or the Hero. We are the ones who prepare the way. Maybe our sins are worth that certainty." Dorian's counter makes her frown. There is truth to his words but...

"Then... why not show the Twili something more? They who know the peace of the Dark and thrive in the Light. We could stand to learn something of peace... They could stand to learn something of duty." She feels her stomach flutter. Maybe the future doesn't have to be so terrible. "What else is there, Dorian? Join the Yiga?" She spits the name.

"Some might... rather than join the ones that they see as cowards," Dorian's fingers curl into tight fists.

Paya closes her hand tightly around the Compass as its confused spinning comes to a halt. As her decision is made. "Then... they would deserve the destruction that the Yiga shall face. Have we not hidden away in our little corner, as the Yiga have run rampant? As the Calamity claimed the world? Purah, Robbie... They are out there doing something at least." Paya rises to her feet. "We have fallen into stale inaction while the world has fallen apart around us. Even still, while it rebuilds around us."

"We are servants of the Goddess, Paya. We do as she wills," Dorian states as he rises too. She sees the fierceness in his eyes. The fervent fire of a Sheikah.

"The Goddess is not all knowing. Her way is not perfect. I have seen the ancient texts, Dorian. 'I fear the Dark, for I am of the Light and it is unknowable to me.'" His eyes widen at the quote, even as the power of the Goddess's words echo in the room. "Well... I have seen the Dark, I have glimpsed its peace and I long for it. There is more to the Dark, than hatred and greed. Just as there can be more to us, to our people, than our sinful past."

"Then your decision is made," Dorian states plainly. The fire seems to fade from his eyes. Paya hesitates... then reaches out to place a hand on his arm.

"It is. I... I shall leave our people to your care. Perhaps one day, I shall be ready to return. But... The next step for our people is not one I can take for them." Paya takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "You were Yiga once. You are Sheikah now. You have seen our weakness and our passivity. One way or another, it is time for us to act once more. I trust that you... You will guide them to what is best. I have chosen my path and where I walk... The Sheikah are not ready to follow. When the hour of reckoning comes... Where our people will stand... I leave you to lead them down their chosen path."

Dorian offers his hand and Paya clasps his arm. Finally, true emotion shows on his face. His eyes glint with tears that won't fall and sorrow that lies deeper than the roots of a mountain. "I hope that when we next meet Paya... it is as friends once more." Paya offers a tight smile to his back as he leaves the building, closing the door gently behind himself. She turns to glance at the hat one last time... Then she makes for the stairs, to go pack her belongings.

---

Sa'avsaaba - Good Evening.

Ko'sha - Chief ; literally, head wanderer

Shout out to Seiboz07 on Reddit, and the Gerudo Language Academy on Facebook. The Gerudo language is all them.