Ink stained her fingers as Tsunade blindly searched the draws of her desk for the cool touch of porcelain, eyes glued to nothing as she let the information bleed itself into the fissures of her mind.
It was late, and if Shikamaru knew what was good for him, he wouldn't be returning to her office anytime soon – not after he politely excused himself in the wake of Yamato's missive, the Brat. No one would surely notice if she slipped away now.
And as soon as her slim fingertips grazed that smooth bottle, that's exactly what she did.
Contrary to her ANBU guards' protestation, Tsunade knew exactly what she was doing when she dismissed them for the night – under threat of castration. She knew what she wanted when she marched herself to Training Ground 16 in the late hours of the evening, hands shaking with adrenaline and the need to pound something into dust. She knew what she needed when she ripped off her winter haori and clamped her lips around porcelain.
Every Hokage had their vices; the things they turned too when the Hat grew too heavy, and the ball in their throat got too tight to breathe.
Her grandfather, Hashirama – bless him – was trigger happy with his money and wagers. Admittedly, she had inherited that from him too, albeit with far worse luck. But that wasn't what she turned too in these times. Not really.
Hiruzen had his pipe, but more unheard of was his affinity for midnight disappearing acts. No one knew for sure where he went or what he did; only that when he reappeared, it was with renewed determination and clarity, hidden behind a wrinkled smile.
Hell if she knew what her solemn uncle or Minato did to relieve the molasses from their veins, but she was willing to bet they certainly did something.
Perhaps she had heard a rumour of the Yodaime's baking proclivities. And somewhere in the depths of her mind she might've recalled Hashirama's anecdotal teasing of Tobirama's 'peculiar meditation methods for stress relief'. Something involving wax. She stopped listening after that.
Regardless.
If Kakashi could get away with his tasteless habit of reading erotica in office – and less commonly talked about, his long sombre conversations with stone – then she could get away with this.
Tsunade fingered the neck of the sake bottle between her fingers, bringing it to her lips for a generous swig. It burned comfortably on its way down and she inhaled the crisp winter night's air – frozen and stagnant, just like the rest of her.
She had been keeping things together long enough. She was about ready to take a moment to be selfish, if that's what people would later declare this as. She didn't care.
Yamato's report had burned itself into her mind; each stroke of ink mocking her from the page. Each failure, each loss presented so neatly for her perusal.
Tsunade placed her half-empty bottle in the snow alongside her haori, and cracked her knuckles.
And Konoha shook with the unleashing of their Godaime.
Tsunade didn't care who she woke, startled or pissed off. She didn't care when the soil began to drink up the blood of her knuckles. She didn't care when she let loose a final roar and fell back into the torn earth under her.
She didn't care.
She was too busy trying to avoid caring at all. Sakura was missing, likely captured or even worse - !
And Tsunade knew in her bones that for there to be no sign of Sakura after the mass explosion she saw… Well. She wouldn't acknowledge the hard truth of that fact. Not until there was a body under her nose and the absence of a pulse beneath her fingertips.
Even then.
She just… needed to close off for a moment. Before she had to be Hokage again and bear the burden of her infamous strength.
Weary honey eyes closed, stars dancing behind her lids as her harsh breathing evened out. She was done for the night.
When Tsunade gave herself over to oblivion; when she let the world around her blur and disappear into gentle nothingness, she wasn't prepared to see a familiar face grinning above her.
She had half the mind to wake herself up, just to avoid dealing with the insufferable man her mind dreamed up for her. But instead, she stayed. She lingered in the lost and old company, selfishly content to pretend this was reality, and not a figment of her tired and distraught mind.
"You're blocking my sunlight." She said, ignoring the way his grin broadened and the sun formed a halo around his ridiculous white mane.
Tsunade was smart enough to recognize a hyper-lucid dream when she experienced one – if not for the abrupt change of scenery, then at least for the person occupying it. But she didn't care to end it. Not when he was here, and for a moment, the weight at her shoulders ached a little less.
"It is my humble opinion that your skin is already the perfect shade of delicious ivory, and would therefore be a shame to alter it in any way. I am merely preserving perfection, Hime." His voice was as warm as the sun-soaked earth beneath her.
Tsunade wrinkled her nose. "It slightly sickens me to know that line would've worked for you before."
Jiraiya's eyes crinkled, his grin splitting his face. "Alas, a woman as fine as you could never be won over with flowery words." He eased onto his rear, and swept his arm to side in grand gesture. "No, a Woman like you requires dedication and strides of passion."
"A woman like me requires nothing from a man. Least of all the 'passion' of a prideful pervert." She corrected on a sigh.
Tsunade rolled to her side and sat up, studying him. He was perfectly ridiculous, with his tan face, wild hair, and kind dark eyes. Exactly the same as the day he left her.
"It's good to see you too, Tsuna. If only in your dreams."
And just like that, the steady smile that had been pulling at her glossed lips slipped away.
Tsunade turned to gaze at the setting sun, painting the sky in vibrant pinks and yellows, the breeze warm against her cheeks. A tender gnawing had begun in the depths of her mind; questions unanswered, moments unfulfilled and the perfect opportunity to rectify it all here and now. Yet, Tsunade let the gentle wind clear her yearning and settled on a singular question.
"You ever think about the paths not taken?"
Jiraiya – infinitely indulgent with her, even in her mind – crossed his legs and rested his forearms over his knees. He tilted his head to absorb the retreating light departing between the cropping of Konoha trees.
"Between the two of us, we have taken a myriad of paths. Walked in a number of directions - always leading to the next folk in the road. Each path not taken shapes us just as much as the paths we do tread."
Tsunade rolled her eyes, and Jiraiya cracked a smile at her exasperation with him. "Enlighten me, Hime. Which path troubles you so?"
Her lips twisted wryly but she withheld her scoff, scared the brash sound would shatter their tentative reunion.
"The path of Foresight seems to mock me at every turn." She admitted, twisting blades of grass between her fingers. "As do the roads of Peace. Where we would be, who we would be, if we had… travelled differently."
Jiraiya slanted his head towards her. "I don't think I've ever heard you sound idealist and yet pessimistic at the same time…" He stroked his chin, thoughtfully. "Travelled differently. You mean… if none of us had ever left?"
She flinched. "Forget it."
"If perhaps the Sannin had stayed instead of strayed, the world might be a little less complicated, perhaps even a little brighter for all our strength and companionship?" He asked with an amused yet kind smile.
Grass tore beneath her power. Tsunade glared at him venomously. "You're an ass, you know that? An absolute fucking twat, Jiraiya."
Jiraiya laughed, a damnable sparkle in his eyes. "Careful love, don't get my blood racing just yet. I may be a God of Sex, but even I require a modicum of foreplay before the main event."
His hearty laugh rang clear in her ears, even as she swung a fist to deck him straight in the jaw. It didn't send him flying because, well, she was shamefully afraid of the distance it would create. Still, it landed him flat on his back and Tsunade could only surrender her snarl as his bright smiling face melted away any fury he had awakened within her. Her fist unclenched the longer she stared, retracing the lines and contours of his face as he blinked warmly up at her.
There was a shift in the air – the last vestiges of winter barely clinging to the change in season – and suddenly solemnity was back on their doorstep, waiting to be addressed.
Jiraiya slowly sat up, his torso angled against hers, eyes calm and searching. "Is it really the past that's troubling you, Tsuna? Or is it that which you have yet to face?"
The scoff escaped her before she could stop it, but Jiraiya did not disappear, and for that Tsunade was grateful.
He was too close, both to her and the issue at hand. It was alarmingly easy how quickly she slipped back into old habits. When faced with things beyond her control, the things she couldn't fix; she turned tail and fled.
Tsunade drew back and looked away. "Since when are you actually using your title of 'Sage' for wisdom? You may be an old man, but you're not the Old Man.".
Jiraiya's smile shifted along the lines of a weary grimace. "One could never compare to Sensei." He agreed on a sigh. "A great man, with a great many flaws… But we're not talking about the long dead. Are we, Hime?"
His eyes caught hers and Tsunade quickly turned away. "If we were, the conversation would never end." The bitterness was raw in her voice, tinged with guarded sorrow.
Jiraiya hummed, running his eyes over her as if divining poetry from her very soul and Tsunade could do nothing but let him compose her.
He spoke quietly after a long moment, "I know I've been gone a few years now, but what exactly did I miss? Candid open feelings were never quite your style, Tsuna." He levelled her with a simple look, watching the pink creep up her smooth face. "What's got you so uncharacteristic?"
She snapped, anger brimming back to the surface and running to her defence in a well-travelled path. "Well maybe it's the damn Hat that you pushed on me! You can't expect me to stay the same when you're off and – "
"Dead." He finished easily, much to her own discomfort. "I'm flattered to be occupying your thoughts and emotions so earnestly Tsunade, truly honoured. However, I can't help but notice that which you seem so determined to ignore. And before you fight me on this, this is your mind we're in. I know."
And why did he have to look so sympathetic?
Tsunade pulled back with a sharp breath. She wasn't sure she wanted to know just what he was seeing in her mind. Parts of her rankled at the mere idea of someone knowing the deepest measures of her. Others, craved the understanding; craved his familiarity with her.
Tsunade drew her eyes towards the soft sky; now almost entirely blended petal pink against the orange glow of the sun. She supposed she couldn't run from it, not in her own mind. The words found her before she was ready for them.
"You considered Naruto a son…" she stated roughly. "If you were in my shoes you'd be just as eager to ignore the grief of a child lost."
The words tasted like a betrayal. Sakura deserved more than her uncertainty and fear.
The girl had been in worse situations before. Probably. And she'd been fine, and Tsunade would've backhanded anyone into the next century who dared to suggest otherwise. To doubt Sakura was to doubt the Godaime, to doubt the magnificent young woman of whom she was so proud.
So why couldn't she shake the feeling that this time was different? Something had been spinning back to life in her gut; something dark and horrendous and oh how she wished she'd never have to feel this again.
There was a hand on her chin, angling her head to meet his.
"Lost but not gone." Jiraiya corrected, his eyes flashing in understanding. "Is that what this is? You're trying to hide from your fears? Cling to pride and outrun familiar grief before it has the chance to take you by surprise and tear you apart as its always done before."
Indignation flared within her. "It worked for you didn't it?" she sniped back, ripping herself from his grasp and coming to stand.
She did not need to be lectured on loss by the fool in her life who could never seem to stay.
"Did it?" he asked simply. So simply she couldn't even muster the energy to hold onto her anger.
Tsunade kept her back to him. Even when she heard the shuffle of feet, and felt the warmth of him at her back, a tentative palm brushing her arm.
"I'm sorry I ruined your perfect track record of being the Legendary Sucker. A tainted victory. But you can't use the past as an excuse to fear the future, to run from the things that scare you…The Hime I love is fearless."
Tsunade clenched her fist, spinning wildly to shrug off his careful touch. "Then the woman you love is a lie!"
Her words rang clear through the spring afternoon, stilling the very leaves of the elm trees. And it felt like she just admitted some long-kept secret; shame and freedom bursting through the break in her defences. Tsunade regained herself and quickly sought for her armour, layering herself in thick impenetrability. But Jiraiya saw through her, just as he's always seen through her.
"Perhaps." He said softly. "Or perhaps your fear is exactly what makes you fearless."
She stared at him and his nonsensical words, the scoff at her lips held back only by her shameful yearning to believe him.
"But you don't need me to tell you that." Jiraiya chuckled lightly and scratched his neck, before flickering his eyes to hers. "You've never needed me to know who you were."
He took a step back and Tsunade was struck by the panic that surged with the distance.
"You're leaving?" She took a step forward and hated the naked tone of desperation that seeped through her voice. Hated the denial that burned on the tip of her tongue to tell him all the ways she needed him.
The grin he rewarded her with could've outrivalled the sun itself. She fought not to look away.
"Oh Tsunade, you know I could never truly leave you. Your beauty is the sun I orbit my world around." His sincerity almost broke her. "But I'm afraid the living waits for no one. And I've been selfish with your light long enough."
He was leaving. He was leaving and her ridiculous mind was giving her the opportunity to say all the things she never got the chance to when he was alive.
Jiraiya was looking at her, the sun haloing his head like a damn angel and she thought he'd never looked so at peace.
In the end, there was only one thing she could say.
"You look good." She croaked with a brave set of her chin. "For a figment of my imagination."
He laughed, drifting his hand to her cheek. And for a moment, Tsunade allowed herself the concession of turning her face into his warm calloused palm. So warm and present.
"Until next time, Hime." His thumb stroked away a tear she hadn't felt fall. "Which I hope is not for many, many years…"
Her hand drifted to his and Tsunade tugged weakly on his wrist, eyes glassy and pleading.
Jiraiya's laugh was as soft as his touch as he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss over her Byakugou. "Oh Tsunade. Take care, My Love."
Bathed in orange and pinks and under her careful grip, Jiraiya departed.
Her cheeks were wet when she woke, but it wasn't Jiraiya's chocolate eyes and the warmth of spring that greeted her.
"Shikamaru sold you out." Shizune said with a sympathetic quirk of her lips as she hovered over her, green palm lifting from her face. "Something about making sure you didn't over-do it."
Oh.
Oh.
Tsunade swallowed her groan as she shuffled to sit up in the deep snow and shook off her hollow bereavement. "Brat. I would fire him if I didn't know he'd welcome the reprieve so damn much."
She discreetly wiped her cheeks and began brushing the ice from her numb arms, cycling chakra through her body to heat herself up. She must've been more transparent than she thought if Shikamaru knew to send the hounds out after her.
Damn nosy Nara's. Asses too lazy to, Kami-forbid, actually do the work themselves.
Shizune sat back on her heels and gave that disapproving stare she did so well. "You can punish him with a raise." She passed over Tsunade's discarded winter haori, but kept the sake bottle carefully tucked behind her. There was something measured behind her chestnut gaze when she said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Tsunade blew an icy strand of hair from her face with a huff and shrugged on her haori. "Talk about what?"
Shizune gave another look. And this time Tsunade did sigh. "That Nara is bloody pushing it." She grumbled into her bosom before flicking her eyes back to Shizune. "I take it ordering you to drop it won't make a difference?"
"I wouldn't be the woman you raised me to be if it did." She replied, pride ringing true.
Tsunade felt the weight of her words fall on her with a tired severity. Her cheek twitched and she tilted her chin up and away. "Right. And where has my tutelage ever led you and Sakura but to have a target on your backs." She said quietly, bitterly; and she could practically hear Shizune's frown.
"…A target you made certain we would be capable enough to handle, no matter the situation." She corrected, her tone bleeding into admonishment. "Tsunade, you can't possibly be that far gone to be regretting taking us on as – "
"I could never regret the two of you!" She cut in with a harsh rebuke, "Y-you're as good as my own blood! But blood accounts for nothing in longevity. Blood is synonymous with loss. I should know."
A steady stream of mist was curling past her lips with her harsh breathing. Tsunade wrenched herself from the snow bitten ground and began marching through the beaten terrain. She couldn't do this right now. Not with the echo of Jiraiya in her mind and the phantom weight of grief tugging at her ankles.
"We are shinobi, Tsunade." Shizune amended firmly, following at her heels. "Longevity is an empty pipe dream for any to hold onto. But we all accept as much the moment we receive our headband and wear our Village's emblem with pride."
Tsunade paused, her back turned. "…For the Village."
"For our bonds. For our future." Shizune's warm hand curled over her shoulder and Tsunade could've sworn the younger woman put a hint of chakra behind her gentle touch.
"Go home Shizune. And take that disobedient brat Genma with you." She dismissed softly, a weak glare directed at her silent audience hidden in the trees. "Go… be together."
Tsunade began to trudge away again, desperately pretending she couldn't hear Shizune's returning call.
"This…fear – it isn't you." Shizune said, and it was so reminiscent of Jiraiya that Tsunade almost wanted to sob.
Instead, she rolled her shoulders back and turned to face Shizune and a worried looking Genma; ANBU mask pushed up and his arm wrapped warmly around his fiancé's hip as they stood in the snow. The image struck something deep within her, reverberated a quiet longing.
"Isn't me, huh?" She echoed on a faint laugh. "I'd be a shit Hokage if I never feared for my citizens." Tsunade tiredly pointed out. "Besides, you know better than anyone Shizune, where I draw my strength from." Her hands fisted beside her and slowly she let them drop. "I racked up enough cowardice and fear to be the damn strongest woman alive after all."
It was an unspoken truth – acknowledged in the early hours of hotel room panic attacks, years of careful avoidance and drunken distraction – a truth Shizune carried for the both of them. Because Tsunade knew better than to ever give voice to weakness, least of all hers.
Shizune raised her chin, a liquid steel shining in her bronzed depths. "Well, then. You should know just as well as I, where Sakura draws her strength from…"
And wasn't that so Shizune, to be able to get to the heart of it; all gentle touches and a spine of diamonds. A woman who never had to shatter something into a million pieces to understand it at its core. Tsunade wondered where she went so right with her.
And wondered where along the way she went so similar with Sakura.
"That's what scares me." Tsunade admitted quietly.
For to draw your strength from weakness is both noble, and so terribly dangerous. And she did not want to think about how weak Sakura would have to become to render an impossible strength once more.
She didn't want to think that this time, when Sakura got knocked down, when she truly reached her breaking point; there wouldn't be enough time to build herself back up. Didn't want to think that Sakura could be one loss away from becoming exactly like her.
One Village Sanctioned Sacrifice away from never returning.
Kakashi stumbled blindly into the trunk of a tree, ribs smarting and blinked around his heavy fatigue. He couldn't see straight, couldn't think straight; not with the overwhelming anger festering in him, weighing him down like lead.
His ice-burned hands trembled as he pushed himself upright, squinting through the cold blue morning light. His lashes had frozen over, along with the rest of him, making it hard to see and harder still to move. He couldn't use his chakra; wasn't able to wade through the onslaught of rage and bitterness that coursed through and corroded him.
He couldn't breathe.
Kakashi's numb fingers fumbled for the knot of blankets at his neck, reaching to rip it from his shoulders where it was dancing in the persistent icy wind. He looked back the way he came, his clumsy footfalls in the snow now all but wiped away with sleet gusts. He didn't know where he was, didn't know what direction he was even stumbling; his keen nose as useless as the snow-drenched blankets on the ground.
Kakashi chanced a glance up; the smattering of tall winter trees mocking him from where they stretched aimless towards the hazy white sky. His hand drifted to his ribs – his injured side – at the reminder. He couldn't manage the chakra to travel by treetops. Not when it was bubbling and poisonous and leaking. He was lucky he didn't break his neck when he fell the first time.
The thought tore through him and a snarl broke past his clenched teeth, echoing faintly into the deserted frozen wasteland. With a determined curse, Kakashi lurched himself onward, slowly trudging forwards in the desperate hope that maybe it was in Sakura's direction.
He didn't think about the dark hatred brewing with every step.
Sakura wasn't sure how long she had been there – forced to sit in seiza on her freely bleeding knees, and restrained by Hansai's strings – waiting for her ominous 'inevitable' to arrive. Surely it had been hours now. The pangs of hunger had long since departed to the depths of her mind, along with any throbs of pain or discomfort. She wasn't one to waste energy on such small concerns.
No one had spoken since she had willing walked herself back into the throne room, Yukine swiftly disappearing to no doubt inform his God on the reconstruction she performed on his bleak palace of operations.
Occasionally, the strange chakra-string user would mutter something under his breath as he sat, preoccupied in his little corner. Sakura had tried exactly once to test the limits of his ability and concentration in subtly shifting her position. But a swift and painful twist of her arms at a ninety-degree angle had her reconsidering ever underestimating him again.
Perhaps the only thing that appeared to be working in her favour was Ara's apparent appreciation for her; the woman quickly reprimanding Hansai for his roughness and threatening the man in her stead. Sakura wasn't going to trust the woman, but at the very least, she wasn't going to suffer irreparable harm. At least not while under her predatory watch.
Sakura took a shallow inhale and let her head dip fractionally down.
She hoped Kakashi was safe; that he was at least smart enough to take the opportunity she gave him to get some backup. Use his intelligence to contact Tsunade-shishou and ensure Sasuke would stay a million leagues away from her, and this utter mess.
Sakura wanted to shiver at her situation. At yet, she found herself alarmingly calm. She had felt this way ever since she'd been unchained; since the moment her chakra had been 'returned'. Something had changed. She could feel it again, as though unveiled. It was clearer and… not the same.
It was calling to her.
Calling in that same song that was now drumming through her, violently, pleasantly.
Sakura looked up, and waited. She felt him before she saw him, just like the last time. And she remained entirely calm as the side door was edged open, two figures emerging; one taking his seat on the throne, and the other making his way to her.
Ara appeared to perk up from her lazy slouch against a stone column and Hansai quickly scurried forward as Yukine descended towards them. But Sakura only had eyes for one. And he, it seemed, was returning the sentiment with far greater delight.
He was dressed in a detailed scarlet kimono now; the deep rich reds perfectly offsetting his silvery-blue hair from where it was bound in a long ponytail, delicate strands framing his smooth face. He looked entirely regal; pale eyes soft and gleaming as he sat perfectly calm on his throne of stone. Every inch the apparent God among mortals.
It was in sharp contrast to where she was slumped on the floor, kneeling in a puddle of her own blood and ragged from days spent in a prison cell. Her long pink locks fell limp around her, parts of it plastered to her back and neck with sweat and grime. Her skin, she knew, while now healed of burns was a canvas of dirt and filth, enough to make her want to compulsively scrub at it.
And she felt every inch the vermin in this God's presence.
And yet, that thought was perversely grounding. Grounding because Sakura had a sinking feeling that she would need all she could to distinguish a line between herself and the man before her.
"That was quite the performance, Woman." The God said pleasantly, running his fingers over his smooth lips as though trying to hide his smile. "A truly devastating display. I would applaud you, but you did blast a hole through my fortress and then reduce a portion of it to rubble."
He was teasing her and Sakura's shoulders twinged as she quietly seethed in rejection of her forced position.
"If you're looking for an apology you'll be waiting an eternity." She replied, eyes defiant where her body remained subservient in seiza.
Somewhere to her left Hansai gargled on a choked giggle. To her right, Ara leant forward in interest and Yukine eyed her with passive disapproval.
And yet, Atsuhiko merely continued to smile, warm and indulgent. "Time, my dear, is something I have in abundance."
Sakura ignored his condescension. "What do you want from me?"
Here, his expression changed. A small frown coloured his perfect complexion as he waved a careless hand. "A stupid question."
Sakura stared coolly under his expectant gaze. She knew what he wanted her to ask. He wanted to hear the words from her lips like some show of surrender. And Sakura resigned herself to the truth of the matter – she could deny it no longer.
"Why do I feel you in my chakra?"
Atsuhiko leaned forward, proud. "A better question." He smiled at her.
Sakura closed her eyes and let the words speak themselves. "I felt it the moment the cuffs were realised. My chakra wasn't my own… I felt you, just as you were probably feeling me. You allowed me to make it all the way to the point of actual escape. Though you knew I would stay. Just as I knew I would stay." Forrest green eyes narrowed up at him. "Was that your idea of entertainment?"
The God laughed warmly, shaking his head. "I am pleased to hear your acknowledgement of our bond, Woman."
Sakura could only close her eyes in brief defeat. "We've been connected since I broke that Seal. Haven't we?" She asked tiredly. "When I destroyed the Seal in the way I did, my chakra core touched yours and something happened to link us. Or maybe that was always going to be the outcome of unlocking the Seal."
"Our connection was likely an unintended by-product of your prowess, Woman. The previous collection of chakra cores that were sustaining myself and the Seal, you destroyed. And in doing so, it was as you said – your chakra core touched mine, directly. You connected us, Woman. Although I do not begrudge it." He declared thoughtfully before staring intently at her with his lilac gaze. "I felt you the moment you released me, and every moment since."
"And yet I've only just begun to feel you." Sakura told him. "Before it was only a foreign haze, my own chakra buried beneath. But now I feel you. All of you as though your chakra is my own."
Atsuhiko nodded, pleased. "Your strength is my strength." He paused to laugh, as though amused. "Although, a mortal could never compare to a God, so I suppose you could say my strength is yours. However I see fit."
"What did you do to me when we first met?" She asked without hesitation, without fear because she couldn't. "It wasn't this way before. You changed something in me. It's more than just a connection now. It's a… a bond."
Atsuhiko shrugged, silver hair slipping over his shoulder with the motion. "I did not change anything. I merely acted on the fortunate consequence of your heroism." He answered at length. "I strengthened our tie. A gift I suppose you could say. A unique benefit of my… being." He smiled kindly.
Sakura chewed on the ambiguous answer steadily. "Strengthened with what?"
"His blood! His blood!" Hansai exclaimed in a fit a giggles, shattering the quiet tension. "He gave you his blood so you could not refuse him!"
"Hansai." Yukine rebuked firmly, as Ara stroke quickly over towards the hunched man to grasp him by the collar.
Hansai whimpered dramatically, wordless apologies foaming at his lips. But Atsuhiko waved away the interruption with an amused laugh.
"There you have it, Woman." He said easily. "We share my blood, just as we share my chakra. We have been inherently and irrefutably linked to one another. Our compatibility has been assured, as has your future compliance. After all, my blood now flows through your veins – no inconsequential matter you will come to learn."
Sakura wanted to feel the dread and repulsion that should've accompanied such a revelation; the knowledge that she had some deeply intrinsic, 'irrefutable' connection to this God, that his blood was running rampant through her. And yet, there she sat; perfectly poised and decidedly unconcerned by her morbid actuality.
"Your blood…" She said at last, puzzle pieces clicking into place. "You use your blood to control others. Your blood is capable of rendering people under your dominion? A Puppeteer of humans."
Silence met her as she glanced slowly around the occupants of the room. Sakura could never claim that any of them offered anything remotely close to an admittance. But the pleased sparkle in Ara's eyes, the manic twitch of Hansai and the impassive stare of Yukine was more than enough confirmation.
"I see." She breathed out, eyes returning to Atsuhiko in a blank emerald stare.
Had Sakura the capacity, she would've felt horrendously vindicated in her conclusion; the last missing piece of information which connected all the dots laid out perfectly before her. It made sense.
A drop of a God's blood to render one under their control; to guarantee blind and unknowing loyalty to their cause, whilst giving the recipient a shred of a God's power. And three separate proficiencies to ensure such a transfusion occurred.
A Sensor to find them, keep track of them. A Genjutsu specialist to administer the blood under guise, without notice. And a Chakra-string user to pick up the pieces, to ensure a trail was never found.
"You're all the Summoner." She said, her voice echoing despite her soft utterance.
Atsuhiko hummed. "An interesting term. But perhaps, a conversation for another time, Woman. Once we're better acquainted."
Sakura breathed out her resignation with a change in direction, a new riddle waiting to be solved. "You let Kakashi go." It was a statement as much as a question.
Atsuhiko tilted his head at her in vague disinterest, before sighing. "To be perfectly candid, I grow tired of waiting. I do not much care for the status of the Rokudaime as a prisoner. He is, however, infinitely more useful in expediting the final conflict."
"You let him go so he could lead the others here." She surmised vacantly. Sakura was finding it increasingly hard to grasp unto any solid emotion when all she felt was yearning compliance for this man. She wished she could've felt unsettled by the mere notion, and yet…
The God rested his cheek on his palm and appraised her easily. "You, my Dear, were terribly instrumental in ensuring he got a rather vast head start. Although I confess, I was not expecting such a… demonstrative approach."
Sakura tilted her chin in a semblance of a shrug. "I didn't do it for you."
True, she had felt the need to get Kakashi out, to make sure he escaped. The utter urge screaming at her to save Kakashi. But it wasn't her chakra that whispered the suggestion, nor was it her blood that thrilled with her complicity. She had made that decision with the entirety of her. A lucky coincidence on the God's part that their motives happened to align just that once. But Sakura swore to herself it was going to be the last time, if she could help it.
Atsuhiko hummed at her, eyes dancing playfully at her mild defiance. "In any case, I am glad for you to be free of distractions whilst in my presence, Woman. I believe we shall have a great deal to explore together, as I have never shared such an unmitigated link with another mortal before. I am eager to test our limits and capabilities. However, while I do admit myself most satisfied with your unique presence, there is one element of business between us that we must address before we continue further."
"I don't have it." Sakura said simply. "I know you want the Pomegranate, but I don't have it." It was as much of the truth as she could manage and Sakura hated the part of her that trembled in her small rebellion.
Atsuhiko leaned forward, his demeanour shifting. "Lying to me is useless, Woman. As I'm sure you feel by now, we share my chakra, just as we now share my blood." He gracefully rose from the throne and stepped down to approach her, his ornate crimson robes trailing his motions.
"I know you can feel it, Woman." He whispered heatedly, coming to hover above her. "That innate pull to me, that desire to comply to my wishes, to act as one with me. It's the nature of my gift, you see. It's only a matter of time. So regardless of your personal feelings on the matter, you will obey me."
Atsuhiko lifted a finger to ghost over the skin of her cheek. Sakura drew her chin up and stared him down, not even flinching when his skin touched hers, sending painful vibrations of awareness of him coursing through her.
"Unfortunately for you, will is something I have in abundance." She stated in kind, cold fire blazing in her green depths.
Atsuhiko darkened at her mockery. He trailed his finger down her cheek and gently hooked it under her chin, tilting her head further back as he leant down towards her. His long silvery hair brushed the side of her face as he bent to whisper into her ear.
"Then by all means, I look forward to seeing which wins out," He pulled back to catch her eyes in his, certainty shining. "Will or Time."
The first glimpse Naruto and Sasuke caught of Kakashi's face came at a terrible price.
Naruto panted lightly as he ran among the treetops at a steady pace. He had managed to find a temporary shelter to wait through the worst of the blisteringly cold night, but Sasuke had taken a turn for the worse and they no longer had a choice. They were going to have to wait to find Sakura and Kakashi. Sasuke needed help. They both did. Sasuke's raven-head lolled against his shoulder with each jump, his breath rasping hot moisture against his neck. Naruto had managed to melt some snow and funnel the water into Sasuke during his occasional moments of lucidity. But that was hours ago now. They couldn't wait around for a miracle.
Naruto activated Sage mode mid-jump and winced at the strain. He hadn't slept in who knows how long – Kurama had begrudgingly kept his word, for better or for worse – and the toll was beginning to set in. They just had to make it to the small civilian town to the west of them – the only sign of life he had been lucky to see. It was the best bet they had at finding Sasuke some medical attention. Naruto let out a haggard grunt as he leapt to the next branch, struggling to keep his dimming eyes alert.
On his landing his foot slipped on a sheet of ice, throwing his stomach into his mouth as he flailed for balance among the lower branches of the gnarled twisted tree. His vision blanked in a kaleidoscope of colours and textures as his Sage mode blinked out of sight, sending him into a fit of disorientation. He blindly stuck an arm out and grappled with bark as he shot chakra to his feet and slid to a stop down the side of the tree, bark tearing under his violent hold. His other arm spasmed from where he clumsily clutched Sasuke's deadweight to him, screaming with the jarring commotion.
Naruto tipped his head against the side of the tree as he wheezed, his heart slowly calming from its jack-rabbiting pace. "Fuck… Fuck."
"…Don't stop now, Kit." Kurama said, coarse encouragement tickling his voice.
Naruto shook his head, screwing his eyes shut. That was too close. And he was just so tired.
"Oi. Weren't you the one swearing at me to fucking believe in you?" The voice snarled. "Then fucking show me, Naruto!"
Naruto unbent his head, and snarled into the open forest, red colouring his vision for a brief moment as a flush of heat and frustration enveloped his numb, aching body. The momentary loss of control was enough to snap sense into his flagging mind and body. He gasped and swallowed the animalistic ferocity back down.
"Come on." He shook himself, determination mounting once more. "Come on."
With a heave, Naruto clawed himself back onto the nearest branch and stood at his full height; Sasuke slung limp over his back. His fingers dug into Sasuke, as exhaustion weighed him heavily down.
"Come on, Sasuke. Just a little further." Naruto grunted, mist curling around his raw, cracked lips.
It was then Sasuke roused, waking enough to groan feebly into his shoulder. Naruto almost cried in relief, jerking his head to check on his teammate.
"Sasuke?" He shook him, testing the limits of his consciousness.
" – ruto… Where?"
"Fuck, Sasuke!" Naruto cried throwing his face to the sky and taking a grateful breath. "Can you stay with me, man? I need you to keep awake for me alright?"
Sasuke's head rocked loosely against his, and Naruto snapped in panic. "Oi! I said stay awake you damn bastard!" He yelled into Sasuke's ear, desperation clawing through him.
There was something short of a whine when Sasuke croaked, "So fucking noisy, Idiot."
Naruto grinned breathlessly, his dry lips splitting. "Heh. Keep insulting me, Fat-ass. Tell me what a hopeless moron I am until you run out of breath or adjectives. Whichever comes first."
"…surprised you know what an adjective is, Dimwit."
Naruto blinked the relieved tears from his stinging eyes and hitched Sasuke higher on his back. "That's the spirit, Teme. Just keep going, yeah? I wanna hear just how many synonyms your superior Uchiha brain can think of."
"I'm awake, Naruto. You don't have to keep proving to me you know the basics of grammar." Sasuke groused, slowly pushing himself further upright against Naruto's back.
"Smartass."
"Asshole."
Naruto smiled to himself and praised whomever was listening for small miracles. He set his shoulders and was about to jump to the next tree, when something flickered in the corner of his vision. He jerked into stillness, chasing the subtle movement in the distance.
"Dobe…?"
And then, he saw him. A man, stumbling through the snow.
It was only a second later that his swirling chakra signature followed; heavy static and spiking ozone but undeniably –
"Kakashi-Sensei!" the words tore from his mouth fervently and Naruto shot towards the staggering figure in the near distance, fresh tears stinging his cerulean eyes.
This can't be real. Shit! Oh please. Please!
Naruto skidded to a stop in the slick slush, Sasuke sliding himself free of his back as they stared, disbelieving at the man before them.
Relief waged against pure shock as Naruto took in the sight that was Kakashi – standing haphazardly dressed in strange ill-fitting clothes, and completely bare-faced.
The almost-unfamiliar man froze, his tired slate eyes narrowing with hazy suspicion at their sudden arrival. He looked like a wild animal; jumpy and fierce in his apparent disorientation.
Naruto drifted a step forward but was stopped from going further by Sasuke's warning grip on his arm.
"Naruto." Sasuke cautioned quietly, staring down Kakashi intently despite listing heavily himself.
Naruto frowned in confusion. It was like Kakashi didn't even recognise them… "Kakashi-sensei." Naruto ventured softly. "A-are you… alright?"
Kakashi glared distractedly at them, unmoving, slow-blinking as though staring straight through them. He seemed almost entranced.
"Sensei, please." Naruto begged on a whisper, staring uncomprehending at the bare shell of the man they once thought to know. "It's us."
"…Where is Sakura?" Sasuke asked suddenly, tightly.
It was like his words had triggered a switch in wondering nin. For one moment Kakashi was lost and listless and the next, his gaze was razor sharp and he was flying towards Sasuke with murderous intent. A trap sprung. A feral wolf provoked.
"Sasuke!" Kakashi's voice thundered he shot forwards, taking hold of Sasuke and ramming him against the nearest tree, disassociation long forgotten.
"Shit, Kakashi!" Naruto swore, frantically stumbling after the disturbing turn of events.
Sasuke grunted as the air was blown out of his lungs, but he didn't bother struggling under Kakashi's fierce grip and wild stare. He lifted his head and glared up at his rabid former sensei, eyeing the thin cuts decorating his pale, exposed face. The man looked savage in his heated fury and some latent survival instinct in Sasuke urged him to tread carefully.
Kakashi snarled, as though incensed by the mere action of meeting his eyes. "Time is up for you to be honest with us!" He shook Sasuke from the grip he held on the Uchiha's tattered shirt. "They were ready for us. This whole thing was one big ambush. They wanted Sakura. They wanted her to get to you."
Naruto whirled with confusion and upset. "What?! Why would they – "
"Did you plan on using Sakura as bait from the start? Was that why you wanted her alone?" Kakashi shouted at a muted Sasuke shaking him once more and jostling his injury.
Ripe fear and concern choked Naruto. "Stop! Kakashi wait – "
"Answer me!"
Dark eyes narrowed and Sasuke brought an arm up to wrench the Copy Nin away. He had heard enough. "Get off me!"
Kakashi held firm and slammed Sasuke back against the rough bark of the tree, barely registering Naruto's distressed cry or Sasuke's brutal wince.
"We're supposed to be a team Sasuke. You need to tell us exactly what the hell is going on. Sakura is paying the price for our mistakes now!"
That was the moment Sasuke erupted; his hair parting to show wild spinning eyes of feral red and purple and blood crusted cheeks. Something in him snapped. A fragile keeping of broken pieces thrown and shattered on the floor; crunched viciously underfoot.
"We're not a fucking team!" He shouted back fiercely. "Since when have we ever been a team? I never wanted any of you here in the first place, least of all Sakura, and now we've fucking lost her to some fucking lunatics. You let her get taken! And then you just left her there?!"
"That's enough, both of you! Stop!" Naruto cried stepping up and attempting to pull them from one another.
They both pushed him back without so much as a glance, strength mustered in the face of wrenching guilt and bitter blame.
"Who was the one freely giving out your identity? I told you it was reckless and that you would be dragging Naruto and Sakura into this with you. They were after her because they thought she was yours. Your wife." The statement was a dark accusation and Kakashi spat out the words with the heat of his rage.
Naruto saw Sasuke's eyes widen, his momentarily sought strength dissolving in shock. "They – "
Kakashi forged ahead, his wrath making way for clear distress. "If you had just been honest with us from the start, if you had just trusted us – "
"Like how you trust me?" Sasuke shot back, driving his head up to butt harshly against Kakashi's. "You were never going to trust Sakura with me, were you? I've seen how you look at her. How you look at me! I'm the mistake. I'm your failure. I'm everything wrong with your perfect fucking life. All that talk about trusting each other was fucking bullshit!"
His frenzied yell rang clear and loud throughout the terrain, and Sasuke felt the burning in his lungs echo the burning behind his damn eyes. His snarl remained painted across his lips even as something hollow pitted his stomach. A hollowness only matched by his former sensei's dark stare.
A long silence had taken root in the ice-crested forest. Naruto watched through near tears as his Sensei leaned back slightly from Sasuke and stared at him in obscure scrutiny.
Something in him broke, and Naruto had to look away.
"Did you know?" Kakashi asked lowly, hatred churning, suffocating.
Trusting Sasuke had left him bruised and bereft of Sakura. Kakashi would not apologise, no matter how much of a hypocritic it made him, no matter how of much of him shattered in disgrace of his values.
He had to know if Sasuke had willingly put Sakura's life in danger – for the sake of pride, in his carelessness, with the intent of harm – he had to know.
"Did you know Sakura would be a target?" Kakashi repeated, gripping Sasuke harder.
And what could Sasuke say but the truth. The bitter truth that all of his reservations, everything he ever feared about being with Sakura again had come vividly to life.
"…Not for certain." He rasped. "I thought I could protect her if something… I never expected…"
Sasuke's voice cracked and that almost hurt more than the reality of their failures. There was a dark pain in the kid's eyes, a guilt he came to terms with long ago, and one newer, rawer guilt that would haunt him.
Kakashi stepped hollowly away from him, and Sasuke slid down the tree, unresponsive and silent.
Kakashi's hands fell limply to his side, ears ringing. His stomach fell out from under him; the bitterness and rage that had been fuelling his every step faltering.
There was nothing. The answer changed nothing. It merely mirrored back at him. A painful reckoning.
Kakashi's knees buckled slightly under him. He barely noticed Naruto taking his weight and slinging his arm across his broad shoulders. He was too busy obsessing over his failures.
He was just like Sasuke in so many ways that Sasuke was just like him. The reflection of himself cut deep – like a shard of broken glass biting into old scar tissue.
"Sensei – "
"It doesn't matter now." Kakashi quietly stated, the fight leaving his body in an exhausted respire. "All that matters is getting Sakura back."
Naruto was quiet and subdued when he spoke beside him. "Sensei, you need rest and medical attention. You're probably a few seconds away from frostbite as it stands. We're not going anywhere until you're treated. And Sasuke – "
"We don't have time to waste, Naruto." He didn't intend for the venom to escape his voice the way it did. But he couldn't take it back now, not when trepidation and resentment was crawling back through him.
"Since when has your health been a waste, Kakashi? Since when has a teammate's wellbeing been last priority?" The blond retorted with anguish. "You know as well as I do that if Sakura were here right now, she would give the exact same order and you would listen!"
"Well she's not here, is she Naruto?!"
Kakashi panted slightly with his eruption. He saw his reflection in the frustrated gloss of Naruto's eyes. And yet it still changed nothing.
"No, but we are."
All three startled as a new voice entered their broken standoff.
Kakashi barely had time to reconcile the image that was Tenzou emerging from the trees, before he was sent flying back from a solid right hook to the jaw.
Kakashi landed harshly in the biting snow, sliding along the ground until his back was collected by solid bark. He blinked roughly and shook his head, slowly pushing himself upright on strained limbs and torn hands.
Before he could register what was happening, hands were on him, hauling him up to his feet and driving his back against the tree firmly.
Tenzou glared back at his dazed open face.
"If you're not going to act like the man I once pledged my life to, then tell me now. Because I can lock you up and keep you grounded while the rest of us sort this shit out without you." His kohai spat. "We don't need anyone playing hero and getting themselves or a teammate killed. I'm sorry, but I don't tolerate that in my team."
Kakashi spat out a mouthful of blood. "Tenzou." He acknowledged breathlessly.
The man in question merely shoved him to his proper footing and then turn to regard the rest of the disquieted men. Kakashi spared a moment to observe the evidence of his shattered standoff.
Naruto stood, clutching his chest as though physically pained, Pakkun nipping consolingly at his heels. A little way from him, Sai was kneeled next to a slumped and unresponsive Sasuke, a supporting hand placed atop his gauzed-covered shoulder.
How…? When?
Kakashi wheezed and clutched a hand to his abdomen; the world briefly tilted on its axis before it righted itself with heavy reckoning. When his vision cleared, Kakashi truly saw.
He felt like the scum of the earth. He only wished Tenzou had hit him harder. He deserved so much worse for what he had just done to his team. Kakashi cowed in on himself, the icy hand of shame sliding its way back through him, filling the spaces hatred had left behind.
Just how many times did he have to fail a team before the world finally saw fit to end his misery…?
"Listen up, this is my operation now." Yamato's voice commanded the attention of his disillusioned comrades. "You will operate under my command and not question it. So if any of you are feeling some suicidal inclination to go rouge and do something stupid, raise your hand and I'll deal with you here and now."
There was a sharp anguish to Yamato's voice as he threatened his already fragile team, but it needed to be done. He could hardly believe the shit-show he and Sai had walked in on. This wasn't his team. This was a shell of them.
At the despairing silence, Yamato let a small sigh slip and calmed his tone. "Sai, grab Sasuke before he keels over further. Naruto, can you come support Kakashi?"
The blond scrubbed his eyes and immediately made his way over to slip under Kakashi's arm once more, Pakkun following him worriedly. "Hai."
Yamato wished he didn't catch the way Kakashi turned his face further away from Naruto in shame, nor the way it cut Naruto that much deeper.
"Alright everyone, stand back then."
With a focused breath, Yamato brought his hands together and then slammed them upon the ground. Within seconds, a wooden cabin groaned into existence, interweaving between the surrounding environment and blending itself into the wintery terrain.
It was imperfect and rough but it would do for what they needed – a shelter to rest and regroup.
With a jerk of the head, he gestured for Sai and Naruto to drag their boys in and get them settled and treated.
Throwing a dejected sigh to the snow-covered ground, Yamato prepared himself for what was about to be a difficult night ahead.
Sai gazed around the wooden cabin his Senpai had built for them, and catalogued the way each of his teammates had found a corner to claim as their own in their despondence. Sai frowned at the spectacle – it was as though his teammates were opposingly charged magnets, a physical barrier preventing them from a closer kinship.
No one had said a word since their earlier arrival, and while Yamato-senpai had departed to set wards and catch food, the initial piecing together of the team had been left up to him.
Sai slowly drew his attention back to the solemn man sitting beside him, and resumed combing through Karin's medical kit. It was quite well equipped, and contained four vials of her chakra-imbued blood, which Sai deemed a thoughtful inclusion on her part. He pulled two aside. Both Sasuke and Kakashi would likely benefit from such a medical opportunity. They didn't have time for anything less.
Returning to the med-kit, his hands stilled over a nondescript jar of ointment and Sai felt a wave of sadness edge at his senses.
Sakura…
He truly missed her. Now perhaps more than ever. She would surely know what to do in this circumstance. Sakura always knew what do to when their team wasn't functioning as one. Sai thought that if one truly wanted to hurt Team Seven, all they had to do was pull a certain string and the rest would follow. It was an alarming thought. But he supposed, Team Seven's greatest weakness had always been their saving strength.
Sai gazed back up at his patient.
"I was upset with you…" he murmured softly, vaguely aware of the way Sasuke jerked at his voice.
Sai continued, his eyes drawing back to the smooth black jar. "When you first came back to the village and took Sakura away, I was upset. I held you responsible for the consequences. But more than that, I blamed you for my negative feelings."
Sai took a breath. "But I was wrong to. I believe what I actually felt was insecurity and anger to be left behind, and concern that I would not be there for my friends should they need me."
Sai drew the ointment out and lathered a small amount on his fingers, bringing it up to Sasuke's shoulder where the blistered burn was beginning to weep. It looked heavily infected, and Sai decided that it warranted close monitoring, regardless of the anticipated benefits of Karin's blood. Perhaps two vials would be in fact warranted for his treatment.
The Uchiha flinched, but kept his eyes averted and expression blank. Sai took his silence as permission to resume.
"I believe you might be feeling similar things now. Insecurity in feeling as though you failed your team, anger to have lost Sakura, and concern over her wellbeing. They are natural things to feel for your loved ones, as I know."
Sai palmed a kunai and deftly cut away more of Sasuke's shirt to access the burns further, his voice remaining soft as he sounded out the words. "We may not share as close a bond as I wish, but we do share these feelings Sasuke. And although they are sad and painful to experience, it is what also brings us closer together as a team and family. So, I do not begrudge these emotions. And you shouldn't either."
The Uchiha shivered slightly as the last of his tattered shirt fell from his figure. Sai was relieved to see the area of burns to be mostly contained to his shoulder and began redressing that which he treated. The action brought a nostalgic feeling to the forefront of his mind and he could not help but further comment.
"Sakura, would not wish for us to fight. Because then she would get mad and accidentally break the earth, and she always feels guilty when Yamato-senpai has to fix what she has inadvertently destroyed." He smiled when Sasuke let out a small puff of air.
Sai was led by memory and sentiment and, channelling the kindness Sakura had once shown to him in a similar moment of vulnerability, he laid a tentative hand across the length of Sasuke's cheek.
Sasuke startled, locking eyes with him and Sai gave his most sincere smile. "We will get her back, Sasuke. Team Seven is family, and as I've learned, no one gets left behind."
An obsidian eye widened before looking away. Sai's hand slipped from him. Yet, he could not help but notice the tension that fell away with it.
Yamato marched back into the cabin to find it in a slightly less depressing state than what he left it.
Sasuke appeared to be sleeping off the shouting match he had with Kakashi, suitably looking medically treated and wrapped in several blankets. Naruto was now cracking the thinnest of smiles at something Sai allegedly just said as the two of them conversed in hushed whispers near the Uchiha.
The stiff posture of Kakashi sitting forcibly controlled against the back wall, however, arrested his attention most of all.
Dropping the rabbits he had caught for dinner by the entryway, Yamato quietly strode over to his senpai's fraught figure. Pakkun had curled himself comfortably in Kakashi's lap and appeared to be passed out from exhaustion and relief. Yamato soundlessly sat himself across from Kakashi, and openly watched him. He was slightly worried that in all this time, Kakashi had not even attempted to cover his bare face in the least. It was as though he was completely thrown out of his defences. Yamato felt unsettled.
He drew a breath and nodded at the dozing Pug. "I hope you understand just what Pakkun went through to get us all here."
Kakashi's hand curled tighter around the small body.
"He was really worried, Kakashi. We all were… are."
"I'm sorry, Tenzou." The broken man murmured, hardly managing to look him in the eyes. "I don't… I don't know what came over me."
Yamato ran a hand through his chestnut hair and blew out a breath. "That's not going to cut it, Senpai."
His blunt statement drew a flinch from the silver-haired man, and Kakashi's head further bowed as he worked his jaw to respond. "I'm sorry for not telling you about all this. For getting you dragged in regardless. I'm sorry that I lost control and let my team down. I'm sorry that I lost Sakura…"
"Stop." Yamato shook his head. "I'm not asking for more apologies, Kakashi. I'm asking you to do better."
Charcoal eyes flickered up in weak surprise. "I…"
"We all lost Sakura… give yourself some slack." He soothed, before hardening. "But you are the one that taught every one of us here the meaning and value in teamwork and comrades. You are the one we look to for guidance, as our Rokudaime, as our team leader. But right now, you're not thinking like a Hokage. Hell, you're barely thinking like a shinobi. You're thinking like a man who's lost. And that's not a man I can follow into battle."
Yamato watched the way Kakashi absorbed his words, bestowing him with a slow shallow nod as his hand absently drifted to stroke the top of Pakkun's brown head. A compulsive reach for something to occupy his hands, when already his face was on perfect display and the worn pages of a familiar book were far from near.
"So, give yourself the time you need to rest and regroup, and then pull your bloody head out of your ass before you actually start losing things." Yamato reached over to flick Kakashi on the nose like a scolded dog.
He expected Kakashi to dodge it, obvious as the movement was, and was mildly surprised when Kakashi took it with a weary huff.
"Thank you, Tenzou." Kakashi whispered, grey eyes drifting to meet his.
The naked sincerity on Kakashi's bare face was enough to startle him out of his stupor. With a grudging click of his tongue, Yamato reached over and pulled a scroll from his pack, tossing it to him. "Here, go get changed."
Kakashi received the blank scroll with tired bemusement. "What's this?"
"It's one of your spare uniforms." Yamato answered distractedly rummaging to find similar scrolls for the rest of his bedraggled team.
Kakashi raised a brow, a fraction of his usual wit seeping through. "You just happen to carry my clothes around with you?" From his comfortable perch on his Alpha, Pakkun lifted his head in a curious judgement of Yamato.
The younger man reddened. "I – don't go acting weird! I have several spare uniforms packed for everyone in their sizes, just in case. It's practical mission planning. Ever since the incident – "
The tips of his ears had gone bright red before Kakashi cut him off with a hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Tenzou. I appreciate it. Truly." He said, flashing him a small genuine smile.
"Just shut up and put your mask back on." The man grumbled. "I'm still angry with you."
It was late at night when Naruto was nudged awake by the feeling of being watched.
He lifted his head and scanned the darkened cabin. Sasuke lay to left, still wrapped in layers and thankfully sporting colour back unto his clean cheeks. Naruto had never been so unbelievably thankful for his distant cousin and her bizarre 'blood-healing' quirk.
Naruto tossed a weary look in Kakashi's general direction, still resolutely camped out in the furthest corner of the room, head bowed and slouched against the wall. He was now dressed just as he always remembered him, all Konoha's blues and greens and yet… He'd never looked so foreign. A body without its spirit.
Though, at least the body was now on the mend; Yamato having forced down a great deal of medical advisements and treatments. Apparently, they all had to be careful from now on. Between Sasuke and Kakashi, they had used up three of the four vials Karin had gifted them for 'emergencies'. No one could get sick or injured. Not until they found Sakura-chan. Perhaps not even then…
"Naruto."
The Jinchuuriki startled at the soft sound, turning to his right. "Yeah Sai?"
"You and Sakura, in all the years we've been a team, you have yet to give me a nickname." Sai said intently, his dark eyes shining under the cracks of moonlight streaming in through warped timber.
Naruto blinked at the abrupt statement and quirked his brow. "…Would you like a nickname, Sai?"
Sai's pale skin creased under his thoughtful frown. "I am unsure." He replied quietly. "I recently discovered the emotional affects a nickname can inflict when used against you. A name can become so easily weaponised. And yet, it is how I sought to relate more closely to you and Sakura. But you both took my assigned name and made it mean something. I am grateful for my name. Sai."
Naruto wedged an elbow under him to sit up, watching his teammate carefully. "What are you getting at, Sai?"
The man sighed, rolling onto his back to stare at the twists and knots of Yamato's mokuton. "You call Sasuke 'Teme', and he calls you 'Dobe'. I call you 'Dickless' but you call me 'Sai'. I call Sakura 'Ugly' even though she is not. She calls me 'Sai'."
Naruto studied him. "You're feeling left out."
"No, I… I don't think so. Perhaps I feel guilty? Uneven? I have created an antagonistic basis of friendship with name-calling, and if you were to reciprocate, I do not think I would like the potential results." The term replacement rattled around in his head. And perhaps he had said it out loud for Naruto suddenly scooted closer and frowned.
"Don't ever call yourself that."
Sai turned his head, but kept his eyes averted, something like shame underlining his words. "But I call you 'Dickless' and Sakura 'Ugly' and I call Sasuke 'Traitor'."
Naruto blew out a breath and eased himself unto his back beside him. "Well, when it comes from you we know it's a term of endearment. We don't see it as insults…anymore. But, if you are starting to feel uncomfortable using them, you know you don't have to. You can change nicknames, or just use our regular names. We won't mind."
"But, what would I call you?" Sai whispered.
Naruto shrugged and drew his hands up to rest under his head. Sai tried not to dwell on the way Naruto made sure to keep in physical contact while doing so. In an odd twist, it felt both comforting and simultaneously undeserved.
"Well, you know how nicknames work by now, Sai. What words remind you of me?"
"Hero." Sai answered immediately.
Naruto flinched slightly, but Sai didn't know what to make of such a reaction. Or maybe he did… he was not so sure he would appreciate the term if it were attached to him either. Something about it felt… heavy.
Naruto chuckled lightly. "Heh. Well that's… too universal." He settled on. "We're all heroes, Sai. What else you got?"
"Toad-Lover?" Sai pondered with a frown, earning himself a nervous snicker from Naruto. "Ramen-boy. Whiskers. Loud Orange Man."
"We can come back to me later. Wanna try finding some for the others?"
"Yes. I believe I would enjoy that… Sunshine."
Naruto couldn't help his chortle. He didn't know when, or how it happened, but suddenly he couldn't imagine his life without his socially-inept-but-still-learning teammate. And maybe the last few hours had something to do with how raw he was feeling but, Naruto couldn't help but feel immensely grateful for having a friend in Sai. Grateful that he was here.
"Hey Sai?" He whispered into the dimness of their cabin.
"Yes, Sparkle?"
"I really missed you, ya know?" Naruto admitted with a watery laugh. "I truly missed your smug face and your dumb voice."
"I… share those feelings with you… my B-brother." Sai whispered, stumbling over his hesitancy.
Naruto paused but didn't turn to look at him in his momentary shock, afraid it would scare Sai off his vulnerable offering. He licked his lips and continued to stare at the roof.
"Brother, huh? …Can I… call you that too, Sai?" Naruto swallowed roughly when Sai remained silent. "I mean I don't have to. We can find you a nickname just for you, if you – "
"Yes." Sai answered quickly. "Yes, you can call me Brother as well."
And when Naruto turned his head, when he worked up the nerve to look over at Sai and whatever face he was pulling; his breath swiftly stole in his lungs.
Sai was staring at him with a tender eagerness so hopeful Naruto couldn't help but grin like an idiot. He was so going to brag about this to Sakura-chan. And she was so going to gush over them both in tears before demanding she be called his sister.
Naruto nodded, keeping his grin firmly in place as he worked a hand out from under his head and offered his palm to Sai.
Sai immediately took his hand and something in his dark eyes relaxed. And Naruto swore he was going to leave the crying up to Sakura-chan later cause damn his eyes were hurting already from today.
"Alright. Then it's settled." Naruto beamed. "Brothers."
Sai didn't realise his bottom lip had been wobbling until it was pulled into a sincere smile at the warm sound. "Brothers." He echoed, content.
And when Yamato would come to wake them in the morning, no one would comment on the way their hands had remained linked together as they slept.
A/N:
Sorry for the DRAMA. But hopefully some of the harder moments were offset with the few small tender ones.
Your fun fact for this chapter is that Tsunade's ~dream sequence~ was completely accidental. Originally it was just going to be Shika fetching Shizune to talk down Tsunade. But then, somehow Jiraiya nudged his way in there, and before I knew it Tsunade was having her own existential crisis. But it's actually become probably one of my favourite passages. I love a dimensional Tsunade!
Anyway, let me know if you have a favourite moment in this chapter. I always love hearing your thoughts and reactions!
P.S. I have a special little surprise for the next chapter (a wee interlude if you will). So keep an eye out! :P
Much love Team!