Tex: Previously, on RvBvRWBY: Incursion...
"Ah, Church! What happened to your body?!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Well, at least somebody asked," Church said, glaring at his teammates.
"Just tell us, what did you see?" Tex asked.
Church answered, "Um, it was a really big… thing."
"That's your story? You just saw a big 'thing'?"
"Was it the Grimm?" Ruby asked.
"I don't think so, but I also didn't get a clear look at it." Church replied. "All I know is that it was slimy, and it had lots of teeth."
Hiding in the corner with some type of firearm in hand was a scaly, slimy alien creature with a split mouth and sharp teeth clad in sleek blue armor plates.
Tucker let out a high yelp. "Ah! There it is!" Everyone snapped around and quickly saw the same sight.
"Crap!" Tex exclaimed, and they all began to fire at it with their weapons. Blake caught the alien with a Dust round to the shoulder, but it bounced off the armor.
"Andy, have you seen a uh… it's a big slimy, like alien looking thing?" Caboose asked. "It's shaped just kinda like that shadow that's on the ground next to you."
"Huh?" Ruby looked down, and sure enough, towering over their own shadows was that of another figure behind them.
"Did… did everyone else see that?" Weiss said.
"See what? My excellent leading skills?" Sarge said.
"No, a tank just drove by right behind you!" Simmons said. Sarge turned around now, to see nothing but open ground between them and Red Base, then spun back around to face his lieutenant.
"Simmons, there's nothing there."
"Grif and Yang saw it too! We all saw it!" Simmons said.
"I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't see a damn thing," Grif denied.
"Alright men. Donut. Since Simmons has been demoted and Weiss outcasted for reasons of dementia-"
"- we're now holding auditions for the permanent position of second-in-command here at Blood Gulch outpost number one."
"WHAT?!" Simmons cried.
"Hey Grif, stop the jeep!" She called out. Grif hit the brakes and Yang hopped right back out of the cart and went towards a nearby clear area of grass.
"Yang, what are you doing? There are enemies chasing us!" Sarge exclaimed.
"I think I found O'Malley's ride," She said. "I wanna take this baby for a spin."
"I think I will call him… Crunchbite," Caboose said.
"Not a bad name," Ruby said with a smile.
"Ruby, who are you talking to-" Tucker started to say, then as they all rounded the corner, they saw the Alien standing in front of Ruby and Caboose. "Holy shit!"
"Wait, don't shoot him!" Ruby quickly exclaimed.
"Stop! He is our friend!" Caboose added.
RvBvRWBY: Incursion
Chapter 8: An Unexpected Party
Church approached Gary's terminal, taking just a moment to question the computer about their new alien companion. "Hey, Gary, is there any way you can translate what this big alien is saying to us?"
"No," Gary simply replied.
"Aw, come on, man. Isn't this one of the aliens that built you?"
"Yes, but I do not know much about those creatures," Gary said. "I was only programmed with the knowledge of the Shisnos. I mean you."
"Yeah, listen man, that word is really starting to bug me a little bit," Church said.
"You did not even know what it meant until I told you," Gary pointed out.
"I know, but you just say it so much."
"I only say Shisno in context, like when talking to a Shisno or about a Shisno," Gary defended. Then after a long moment of silence, said, "I think I see what you mean, Shisno."
"So you'll stop?"
"Inter-species prejudices take a long time to overcome, but I will try," Gary said.
"Thanks," Church deadpanned.
"Luckily, I am not lazy like a Shisno."
"Yeah, it's pretty clear you mean to give this your best effort," Church replied sarcastically.
"I think the important thing is that I am trying."
"Yeah, well, I'll let you work on that," Church said before leaving the terminal room back out into the main room, where Ruby was speaking slowly and clearly.
"Okay, Church is getting a translator, so that we can talk to each other," She said.
"Ruby, like I told Tucker, the alien doesn't speak our language. Talking slower isn't gonna help," Church said.
"I was talking to Caboose." Ruby gestured to the blue soldier in front of her.
"Oh. Is he getting it?"
"Yes. You were talking to Gary so we can understand the alien," Caboose said.
"Well I'll be damned. How did you do that?" Church asked the red-hooded leader.
"I just talked him through it, like a normal person. It's not that difficult," Ruby shrugged.
"Well, keep working your magic while you're here. If we can get Caboose up to common sense level, it'd be like a gift from God."
"You guys are mean to him. That doesn't help anything," Ruby frowned.
"Tell ya what, kid; let him shoot you with a tank, then come back to me on that," Church replied.
Caboose turned his full attention to the alien standing in front of all of them now. "Okay gargantuan alien, now that we have decided to keep you, you need a real name. I vote for Fluffy."
"Fluffy?" Blake raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.
"Fluffy! The alien that only loves!" Caboose proclaimed.
"Yea, that's why he tried to kill us and then bit you," Tex said sarcastically.
"He's got to have a name! Why don't we just ask him?" Tucker suggested, then turned to the alien. "Hey alien dude, what's your name? Name. I am Tucker. This is Blake. That's Bitchpants McCrabby." Tucker gestured to Tex at the last name.
"Hey!" Tex exclaimed.
"Well that's what we call you!" Tucker replied defensively.
"Not me," Caboose said. "I call you 'Mrs. McCrabby'."
"Thanks," Tex deadpanned.
"What is your name?" Church asked the alien slowly. The alien replied with a series of honks.
Blake rolled her eyes. "It has been an hour, and talking slowly hasn't worked. It didn't work then, it won't work now."
"She's right, we're going in circles here," Tex agreed. "Caboose, Ruby, what did you call him earlier?"
"Crunchbite?" Ruby said.
"Yeah. Let's just roll with that," Tex said.
"Hey alien, is Crunchbite a good name for you?" Church asked.
"Blarg," The alien replied.
"Hold on, I think blarg means yes. Hey, does blarg mean yes?"
"Blarg."
"Holy shit! Blarg means yes! I speak alien!"
"Unless blarg means no, in which case, he said no, Blarg does not mean yes," Blake countered.
"What? No way. Hey alien, am I right?" Church asked.
"Blarg."
"Ha ha, see? The fuck do you know?"
Weiss sat cross crossed on the top of the abandoned blue base on the opposite side of the canyon from red base, where the talking tank Sheila, belonging to the blues, brought both Weiss and Simmons. While Weiss sat there, absent-mindedly running her thumb over her necklace, Simmons tried to get back in radio contact with the rest of his squad mates.
"Sarge! Sarge, do read me, this is Simmons! Come in!" He said.
A response came from the other side as Donut's voice came over the airwaves. "Hello, Red Army HQ, we don't stop until every blue is dead!"
"Donut, let me talk to Sarge!" Simmons said.
"For help in English, press or say 'one'!"
"One," Simmons said into the mic impatiently.
"(For Spanish, dial number two)," Donut said in Spanish.
"One," Simmons repeated, to no avail. "One! One- god dammit!" Simmons clicked the number one on his HUD before he was fully patched through.
"For unconfirmed Dutch-Irish, press one too, as in 'also'."
"Donut!" Simmons exclaimed.
"Oh hey, Simmons. What's up?" Donut greeted.
"Donut, put Sarge on."
"Oh yeah… Sarge is really busy. Things have really picked up since you left. Uh…."
"Donut, I'm not here!" Sarge said in the background of the call.
"Lemme see. Do you mind if I put you on hold?" Donut asked.
"Just take a message!" Sarge said.
"Donut, stop screening my calls!" Simmons exclaimed.
"Sorry, Simmons. Sarge isn't available at the moment. I tell you what, I can ask him to call you back, but it's really better if you have an appointment," Donut said.
"Oh for the love of God, I can hear him, Donut! Would you just tell him I captured the blue base and…" Simmons turned around to glance at the parked Sheila out on the grass and out of earshot, then turned back to whisper into the mic. "And I've taken possession of their tank."
"Right right… Simmons…" Donut said as if taking notes.
"Tell him we've got a call waiting!" Sarge said in the background.
"Blue base…"
"No no, you're going through a tunnel!"
"Tank… tank!"
"Are you really writing this down?" Simmons sighed.
"Look, I have to go," Donut said. "We have a conference call with Yang and Grif in five minutes. They're pitching ideas with what to do with that weird vehicle and your rations! Gotta run. If anything comes up, we'll call you. And Simmons?"
"What?" Simmons asked through pursed lips.
"This job is the best! I can't believe you quit!" Donut's transmission cut, and Simmons was left in disbelief and seething anger.
"That's it. I'm gonna kill 'em all!" He decided.
"Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?" Weiss said, her attention coming away from her necklace and back up at the Maroon soldier.
"Okay, consider this, Weiss: I've been exiled and disowned by my own team because they don't believe me about a tank that is sitting fifty yards that way and I've lost my second-in-command position to an idiot who is severely unqualified. My entire goal in life just got put down in front of me like a dog. How am I supposed to react?!"
"With perhaps a little more tact," Weiss frowned, standing up to her full height. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."
"I am smart! Which is exactly what those dumbasses don't get! They got rid of the smartest person on the squad!"
"Then show it by doing something more than holding a grudge against them," Weiss said. "If you're smart, then there are two things you do to prove it. First is showing Sheila is real without using her to blow them all up. The second can be helping me figure out a way back to Remnant."
"And how exactly are we supposed to do that?" Simmons questioned.
"First, I'll need to go back to the Red base and get some of the Cosmic Dust from Yang. Do you think you can organize a workspace for us to use before I get back?"
Simmons took a deep breath. "All my equipment is back at Red Base, but I'll see what the Blues have laying around."
"Thank you," Weiss said before leaping down from the roof of the base and starting her way back across the canyon. Simmons, meanwhile, went down the ramp back into the base's interior.
"Church!" Tucker called into the facility from outside. "Church! Hey Church!"
"I'm right behind you, dumbass," Church remarked as he approached his second-in-command from behind.
"Oh," Tucker said as he turned around. "Hey Church, do you have a knife?"
"That's a weapon, dude. Ask Tex or the other girls," Church replied.
"Well, Tex and Blake went off on their own, saying they had something to take care of. Girl stuff, I think."
"Huh? Like what?" Church asked.
"I don't know, I stopped asking questions at 'girl stuff'."
"What are you three even doing?" Church asked, glancing behind Tucker to see Caboose and Ruby with Crunchbite, letters of the alphabet drawn on a board in front of them.
"We're gonna teach Crunchbite how to speak English," Tucker answered.
"How are you gonna do that?"
"People learn English all the time, it ain't that hard."
"Maybe you should try learning his language," Church suggested.
"Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those are the rules dude," Tucker said. "Earth colony, Earth language."
"Tucker, there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth," Church said.
"Yeah, but only one that kicks ass, and that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick ass!"
"Alright, there's no way this is gonna work."
"Yeah it is, we got visual aids and everything."
"Where the hell did you get those?" Church asked.
"We made them. Turns out Caboose's gun didn't have any bullets. It was loaded with crayons. I just need to cut one of these things, and when we tried it with Ruby's scythe, it was too big and obliterated one. Do you have a pocket knife?"
"Hey, if you need to cut something why don't you just use that sword of yours?" Church suggested.
"Oh, right. Duh." Tucker grabbed the hilt from his belt and ignited the blade of the energy sword. As soon as the pinkish energy came to life, Crunchbite snapped around to gaze at the weapon, then howled before lunging right at Tucker, sending him to the ground and beating him senseless. "Ow! What the fuck? Ow!"
"Man, Tucker, that thing either really hates that sword or really hates you," Church began to laugh.
"Aaah! Get this fucking thing off me!"
"Wait a second, Tucker. This might be a good chance for us to evaluate how these things fight," Church snickered. "Now hold still. For science."
"Not the face, not the face!"
Tex and Blake entered the main room of the facility, where Andy sat in the corner of the room. The two black-clad women approached the explosive. "Alright, bomb, we need to talk," Tex said.
Andy let out a snarky chuckle. "Talk about what, butch? Working on cars and picking up chicks?" He remarked.
"Now is that how you talk to a lady?" Tex raised an eyebrow.
"'A lady'? You've gotta be kidding! I bet ya have more balls than a roman candle!"
"I knew this was a bad idea," Blake shook her head.
"See, you should take after your little friend next to ya. Dress in something that shows your curves, if ya have any."
Blake's cheeks flushed red and she quickly crossed her arms uncomfortably, becoming somewhat self-conscious of her look.
"Listen here, you little firecracker. I put you together, I can take you apart," Tex threatened.
"Hey, what do you mean?" Andy questioned.
"Bombs come with remote detonators, dumbass."
"And any time you get too annoying, all we have to do is flip a switch, and you're a memory," Blake added.
"A very annoying, very insulting memory, but nevertheless, a memory."
"I think you're bluffing," Andy said, albeit unsurely. "Dike."
"Ok, strike two!" Tex snapped.
"Alright! What do you want?" Andy asked.
"Can you use the protocol parts Tex built you with to translate what the alien is saying?" Blake asked.
"Of course! But what's in it for me?"
"Well, don't push our buttons, we don't push yours." Blake furrowed her brow.
"Alright, fine. But I'm not translating any of that touchy feely crap," Andy relented.
"Deal," Tex said. "Come on."
"What am I gonna do, roll there? Pick me up, you dumb bitch!"
"Great. I can tell this is starting off well," Tex said sarcastically before heaving Andy's spherical form off the ground.
"Hey, Tex, I bet you haven't had your hands on a ball this big since your morning scratch," Andy remarked before breaking into laughter. Blake and Tex traded annoyed glances before Tex simply dropped Andy back onto the floor, and the two walked right out of the room.
"Hey! Aw, come on! Tex, baby, where ya going? It's just a joke between the two of us guys, come on! Blake, what I said before was a compliment, you're looking good! C'mon!" As Tex and Blake left for good, he got one last jab in. "Hey, Tex, when you walk away, I can see where you tucked it!"
Yang and Grif had taken the stolen floating vehicle Yang grabbed from under O'Malley's nose out into the canyon to begin painting it. They'd found cans of black, orange and yellow spray paint hidden among the junk inside Red Base and had already done a solid black coat to replace the purple of what the hull used to be.
"So what are we thinking, something basic? Or like hot rod flames?" Grif asked.
"Hot rod flames sound cool. We could even nickname it Fireball," Yang said.
"Uh, I don't know how I feel about driving something called 'Fireball'," Grif said hesitantly.
"Fair point," Yang relented. "Orange and yellow… how about Hornet?"
"There's already vehicles called that here. We need to come up with something more original."
"You're right. Hmm…"
Grif glances at the vehicle again, then rests his eyes on the back driver position. "I'm sure we'll come up with something."
"Yeah. Something," Yang said, starting to space out a bit. Grif noticed after a few moments of silence.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Hm? Yeah, I'm good. Just worried about Ruby. We haven't heard from them in a while," Yang said.
"Eh, I'm sure they're fine. You guys are kick-ass warriors, right?"
"Yeah, but it's mainly that Grimm I'm worried about. Even in a world where we fight them on the daily, I've never seen one like that."
"How different is it?" Grif asked.
"Well, to start with, they don't talk. They're not smart enough for that. They also don't change like that. It adapted to fight us, and then escape when it couldn't keep up," Yang answered. "It learned."
"I mean, if you guys drove it off before, couldn't she do it again?" Grif asked.
"It took all of us to drive it off. Makes me worried about us being split up this long."
"Then why not call her?" Grif asked.
"Out of range. Our scrolls are connected to your helmet radios. They're too far away. The signal can't reach," Yang explained.
"Still, I'm sure they're fine. At least the Blue's are somewhat better than us. Uh, don't tell Sarge I said that," Grif said. "Besides, they have a freelancer with them. They'll have everything under control."
"I hope you're right…" Yang frowned.
Grif began to feel bad for Yang. "Hey, being worried for your sibling is a normal thing. Believe it or not, I have a little sister too."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Grif chuckled. "And she was definitely a handful. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, always wanting to do something crazy. But since I was the older brother, I had to take care of her. I guess part of the reason I'm so lazy now is the amount of crap I put up with all those years."
"What happened?" Yang asked,
"Just had to let her learn on her own. I joined the army, and she had to learn the hard way how to take care of mom and become at least a little bit like an adult. I wasn't gonna be able to deal with her forever. Seriously, I was almost to the point of caving her knees in."
"You're a jerk," Yang chuckled. "But I think I get what you mean."
"Look, if my crazy ass little sister can take care of herself, I'm sure yours can too. So don't worry about it," Grif said.
Yang smiled. "Y'know, for a guy who just seems lazy on the outside, you got some words of wisdom there. You're a good guy after all."
"Yeah, well don't tell anybody. I have an image to keep up, and people expect less of me if they think I'm completely lazy."
"My lips are sealed," Yang said before miming zipping her lip.
"Grif? Oh, Grif?" The two heard Donut's voice approaching.
"Oh, great," Grif groaned. The pink-colored soldier ran up to the two of them.
"There you are! Where have you been?" Donut asked.
"We've been out here the whole time," Yang answered for him.
"I've been looking all over for you," Donut said. "I looked in the base, I looked around the base, I looked on top of the base, I looked in the base again-"
"I think you need to learn what 'all over' means," Grif remarked.
"Anyway, Sarge wants you to come back to base and-"
"No, I'm not going to do it," Grif cut him off.
"'No'? But I didn't tell you what he wants!" Donut said.
"Donut, it's Sarge. I know he doesn't want me to come into the base and help him eat ice cream. He wants me to do stuff, work stuff."
"But-" Donut started.
"Listen, Donut, I know you're riding the high on your new promotion right now, but don't think you can order me around. Me and Simmons, we had a system. He didn't try to tell me what to do, and I didn't ignore him."
"Wait, you ignored him all the time!"
"I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening to you. See? The system works. Learn the system, Donut."
"Alright, if you say so," Donut said in an unsure tone before turning around and taking the walk back to base.
"Yeah, I think you got nothing to worry about with your whole 'lazy' image," Yang said.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Grif said proudly.
"Uugh, I'm gonna die…." Tucker groaned as Ruby and Blake helped him up off the ground, Crunchbite's relentless assault now ceased. Crunchbite himself was howling ferociously, as if out of anger.
"What's he saying, Andy?" Caboose asked.
"Look guys, if you want me to translate for you, you can't keep asking me every five seconds, 'What's he saying now, Andy? What's he saying now?' I'm gonna tell you what he's saying, that's my freakin' job!" Andy harshly replied.
"That's what he said? That's a weird thing to say," Caboose said, the tone of Andy's words going right over his head.
"Uh, Caboose? Andy's saying we need to give him a chance to actually translate," Ruby clarified.
"Oh. Sorry," Caboose apologized.
"Can't believe we got an alien translator and a translator for Caboose on the same day. Is it just our lucky day? Anyone got the winning lottery numbers?" Tucker remarked.
Crunchbite let out a series of agitated roars and snarls, which Andy quickly translated. "Okay, basically he's, uh, he's saying he's pissed off."
"We didn't need a translator to figure that out," Blake frowned.
Crunchbite continued, and Andy kept up with him. "Says he came here to claim some type of thing… and that the teal one took the thing… and now the thing is gone."
"Who's the teal one?" Tucker asked.
"You are, idiot," Tex said.
"No way, I'm aqua! Teal's out!"
"That 'thing' that he's talking about must be your sword, right? But it's not broken, it's right there," Ruby said, gesturing to the de-ignited grip sitting in the dirt between all of them.
Crunchbite barked at Ruby suddenly, causing her to step back a bit towards Caboose. "He says it only works for the hero who passes the trial of the windmill and retrieves it from its resting place," Andy translated. "For everyone else, it might as well be broken."
"Trial? Please, I fell in a hole. That's not a trial," Tucker scoffed. "I'm starting to like this culture, though. Any dude who trips is a hero. I'm pretty sure that makes Caboose, God."
"This all sounds like bullshit to me," Church said, not convinced.
"No, he's right. It didn't work for me, remember?" Tex said, referencing the sword.
"Of course it didn't work for you. You couldn't even figure out the entertainment center back at base!" Church replied. "Doesn't mean the remote control is mythically attached to us."
"Alright then you little smart ass, you pick it up and try it," Tex replied. Church glanced at the energy sword on the ground, then at Crunchbite, who gave him a death glare for even thinking about it.
"I think I'll take his word for it," Church relented.
Crunchbite then began to speak again. "And now, you have to go with him to fulfill the prophecy!"
"We don't have time for this," Blake said. "We don't want to go on his 'quest'."
Crunchbite let out a low growl and few words of his own. "Yeah, he's not too thrilled about it either."
"See? I knew this was a bad idea!" Tucker exclaimed. "Sorry to fuck up your quest, dude, but I'm not going."
"And if you don't go, he'll destroy the base, and kill everyone here," Andy added.
Blake frowned and glanced at Ruby, who gave a small shrug. Considering even Dust rounds were ineffective against the alien, and a battle would just waste more time, the two huntresses knew what they would have to do. Blue team came to the same conclusion.
"C'mon, a quest sounds fun! C'mon, Tucker!" Tex said with fake enthusiasm.
Andy chuckled. "I think he should stay here, because I like that killing everybody option."
Weiss entered one of the interior rooms of Blue Base to find Simmons with spare parts thrown around in what could have only been a junk room. Metal parts, wires, and even just plain trash was piled everywhere. Weiss turned up her nose and approached Simmons at the table at the far end of the room.
"You'd think they'd know how to clean," She said.
"Ignoring the trash, even the parts of haphazard. This place is almost as bad as Grif's room," Simmons replied. "Did you get the Dust?"
Weiss pulled three crystals of Cosmic Dust from her pocket. "She and Grif were working on the new vehicle, but she went back to Red base to give us these. They're all we'll have to use. We can't use or lose too much of what's left of our shipment."
"Well, even if we only got one crystal, it'll still be a chore to figure out how to harness it, especially if we don't have the parts we need. Do you even know how it was going to be harnessed back on Remnant?"
Weiss shook her head. "I didn't even know of their existence until the day we got on the bullhead with them."
"Do you think using one of your weapons to try and use it like your ammo would work?" Simmons asked.
Again, Weiss shook her head. "Sounds too risky. But if we can scavenge the parts, we could construct a similar device. All we'd have to do is scale up the actual firing mechanisms."
"Not to mention remote operation to avoid any potential close range danger, hence why we don't actually use your weapons."
"Precisely," Weiss nodded, then smiled a little. "See? There's the intelligence at work."
"Eh, I try," Simmons said. "Besides, at least it's something to do so I don't have to think about those jackasses. Not to mention, multiversal travel is still very interesting. And revolutionary! I mean, crossing from one reality to another is a scientist's dream!"
"At least you're passionate about your work," Weiss noted. "Shall we begin?"
"... Then after we cross the burning plains of Honka Kill, we're gonna reach the Freezing Plains of Blarganthia," Andy translated as Crunchbite began to give the group a rundown of what lay ahead of them. They stood at the beach shoreline next to a path that would lead them to where Crunchbite's prophecy would take place.
"The burning plains are next to the freezing plains?" Caboose said. "I bet there's some pretty wet plains in between."
"This so dumb! I'm not doing this!" Tucker exclaimed.
"We don't exactly have a choice, Tucker," Balke frowned, clearly also not happy with it.
"It's your fault in the first place. You're the one that picked up the sword and locked it to yourself," Church pointed out.
"I know! And I'm so used to picking up things and not letting them get attached. I'm talking about women," Tucker replied.
"You are an unbelievable human being…" Blake sighed.
"Don't worry, Tucker. We're not gonna send you alone," Tex said.
"You're coming with me, Tex?" Tucker asked.
"Me? Hell no!" She replied. "This is the first thing you wimps have done that actually sounds dangerous."
"Well I'm not going with Church! That guy's a worse fighter than I am!"
"Well you're in luck then, because I'm not going either!" Church replied.
"What? Then who?" Tucker asked, before immediately glancing at Caboose next to him. "No fucking way! I'm not going with him!"
"Oh, oh! I hope we meet a cleric along the way! None of us knows how to heal!" Caboose said excitedly.
Crunchbite let out a sound, and Andy quickly translated. "He says he's a healer."
"Oh, good," Tucker said.
"Heh heh, not really," Andy deviously chuckled. "They eat their wounded, heh heh heh."
"Just like chiropractors," Caboose muttered.
"This is a joke, right? You're sending Caboose? What's wrong with you?" Tucker complained.
"What's wrong with me? I saw a chance to get rid of Caboose and I took it! There's nothing wrong with me!" Church replied.
"You guys should really treat Caboose better," Ruby said in defense of the blue soldier.
"Don't freak out, Tucker. We're coming with you too. Unfortunately…" Blake crossed her arms.
"That makes me feel a little better at least…" Tucker said in semi-relief.
"Heh heh. How do you feel about two little girls showing you up, Tex?" Andy asked with a chuckle. "That's gotta deal a blow to your masculinity, heh heh."
Tex let out a low growl. "If you weren't already leaving, I'd turn you into shrapnel right now."
"Also, we're not kids. I'm eighteen, and we're both trained warriors." Blake deadpanned.
"Okay, so Tucker is the fighter, uh, Crunchbite is the healer, Ruby is the hunter, Blake is the assassin, and I am the powerful… and intelligent… wizard! Morphumax!" Caboose proclaimed.
"What the hell does that make me?" Andy asked.
"You're the good looking and stealthy archer," Caboose answered.
"A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron!" Andy exclaimed.
"That is what makes you so stealthy," Caboose said. Ruby let out a giggle with an entertained smile. "This is going to be the best party ever."
"I'm gonna fuckin die…" Tucker said.
"Yeah, I guess this is it, Tucker! Nice knowing ya!" Church laughed.
"Oh, you better hope that I don't die, cause if I do, you're the one taking care of my kids."
"You have kids?" Blake questioned.
"Heheh, probably!"
"Well, good luck guys. Don't forget to change your underwear at least once a day," Church joked. "Tucker, that goes double for you."
"What? I'm the cleanest guy here," Tucker said.
"Not mentally," Ruby noted.
"No, it goes double for you because now you're in charge of changing Caboose and I'd rather not give Ruby PTSD for the rest of her life."
"I hate you," Tucker said.
"But, hey, for real, listen Tucker, just drop off this weapon and get back to Blue Base as fast as you can."
"What if I have to kill stuff, dude? I'm a lover, not a fighter."
"I know, Tucker, I'm the same way. That's why we get along so well. We're both just a couple of lovers," Church said.
"That sounded kinda gay, dude."
"Yeah, it did… Erm.. I feel obligated to say something encouraging, as your boss."
"Our captain died. You're just the guy pretending to be my boss,
Tucker countered.
"Y'know, in our given situation, technically, you could be seen as one of my employees-"
"Except that I'm not."
"Whatever, listen! I just, as someone in an employee/manager relationship-"
"Which doesn't exist!" Tucker interrupted. Church let out an annoyed sigh and looked at the sand beneath them. "Why did you pull me aside again?"
"Y'know, I'm sure it was to say something inspiring or something, but now I just don't care"
"I'mma go man," Tucker said as Caboose, Ruby and Crunchbite holding Andy started on the path. He and Blake joined them simultaneously.
"I can't tell if you're worse at being teammates or worse at being friends," Blake remarked.
"We have a system," Tucker said.
Church and Tex watched as the group took the path around the bend and out of sight behind the rocky cliff face hugging the shoreline. "You know, I have to say I'm a little surprised you're not going with them."
"Why?" Tex asked. "Quests are dangerous."
"Yeah, but they usually have some kind of big reward at the end, y'know, like some big treasure chest, or an entire room filled with gold and art. It's tot really like you to pass up on something like that, Tex," Church said. No response came. "Tex?" Still silence besides the waves and the wind. "You're gone, aren't you?" He turned around to see nothing but empty air where Tex was standing. "I really should've seen that coming…" he sighed.
Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter! Just wanna get some things outta the way real quick. For those who don't already know, my other currently running story Smash: Emissary is being put on hiatus until I decide if I truly want to go through with it and use it's characters or not, so with work pausing on that, more attention will be put to updating this story as often as possible. While I doubt I will finish Incursion before the end of the year, one can always hope. For more details on Smash's hiatus, go read the author's note posted there.
As for Incursion, I truly will put all of my attention on it for now. In fact, in order to get readers more involved, I would like to hear what some of you would like O'Malley's Ghost to be renamed as. Something that fits the orange, yellow and black color scheme. I'd also be partial to any names in the same vain as Bumblebee, Yang's motorcycle on Remnant, but any and all suggestions are viable. I don't have a settled name yet, and reader input is important.
I think that's all for now. I await responses and name ideas, and I'll be working on the next chapter.
- Shad