Rimmer stared, unblinking, on the plugged cabel which helping him survive. It seemed to be pathetic. Why he supposed to stay like this? He didn't exist, did he? He was just computer simulation, not him himself. He sighed. Who liked him anyway? He was just as pointless as a condom machine in the Vatican. Normally, he would laugh on his little joke but the true is, it's not funny at all. He was already dead, why should he stay in this little imitationed existence?
Door of cockpit loudly opened as Lister came inside. He sat next to Rimmer and sighed. "Oh, nothing to do now but just to sit tight and wait it to blow over." Rimmer almost forgot about the sandstorm outside. "How long's that gonna take? Could be days." He didn't want to take all the energy for himself. Oh smeg, that didn't sound like him at all! "I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing," Rimmer sighed and looked again on the cabel plugged also into his body. Well, simulated body, right?
"What do you mean?" Lister asked and looked at Rimmer
"Hanging on," Rimmer explained and showed Lister the cabel. "Draining Starbug's battery. Maybe it would be better if I just pulled my own plug and be done with it."
"But if you powered down, you'd be dead," objected Lister.
"I'm already dead."
Both of them were quiet for few seconds. Rimmer stared in front of himself, Lister stared at him.
"Why am I here? What's the point of me?" asked Rimmer hopelessly. "The only reason I was ever brought back was because I was diametrically opposite to you. I don't fit it. No-one likes me."
"People like ya. Of course they like ya," Lister lightly smiled.
"Name one person on Red Dwarf who likes me." Lister's smile faded and his eyebrows shrank. "Oh, come on, I'm not getting into a naming contest, Rimmer. But there's... people on board that... like ya," said Lister quietly and turned away.
"Name one."
"Oh, come on."
"Name one!" Rimmer barked. Lister's face changed into slight sad agony. It was true that on a whole Red Dwarf wasn't a single person who liked Rimmer? He can't say his own name, he don't like Rimmer. Well, he would like Rimmer if he wasn't such a smegging goit. That was the problem, wasn't it? Rimmer's expressions wasn't actually his fault, he's trying. Or maybe he doesn't, whatever, but inside of him, deeply inside of him, was a good person. A good person who didn't deserve all of this, right?
"Okay, erm..." started Lister quietly. "What about Skutter on B Deck? He likes you." Lister smiled brightly.
"The one who's mental? The one who eats shoes?" asked Rimmer unbelievably. "He still likes ya," argued Lister. "Erm... That dispenser on C Deck, the one that leaks. That likes ya," Lister smirked. "It likes everyone. It's leaky. Who else?" asked Rimmer unpatiently.
"Kryten?" said Lister as he was asking more himself than Rimmer.
"Kryten does not like me!" Rimmer strongly protested. "He thinks I'm a petty-minded, bureaucratic, power-hungry control freak."
"But he still likes you. Admires you, even," lied Lister right into Rimmer's eyes. "He told me he liked and admired you just the other day."
"Yeah? What did he say?" Rimmer waitfully looked at Lister, who tried to come out with something really smart to make Rimmer believe him. "That... he liked and admired you - just the other day," said Lister after all quietly.
"Really?" Rimmer asked hopefully and started thinking about it. Was it possible that Kryten, that Kryten, would really like him? And even admire him?
"Really," Lister nodded and embarrassingly turned away. The silence in the cockpit broke a sound of opening door when Kryten came in. Lister opened idly his mouth and horrifyingly looked at Rimmer. "A warm drink, sir," said Kryten when he came near Lister. "Don't ask where from. It'll taste better that way."
"Not now, Kryten. We're in the middle of something," tried Lister save the situation. "Lister was saying you like admire me, Kryten. Is that true?" In that second Lister wanted bury himself really, really deep. Kryten turned to face Rimmer and just stared into his face, unblinking, none speaking. Lister's face ranged tense smile how he tried to act cool.
"Look, he nodded," said Lister and pointed his hand to Kryten's face.
"He didn't move," argued Rimmer sulkily.
"That was a proper nod," said Lister loudlier, pointed both of his hands to Kryten's face, which hasn't move at all. "A definite seven degree vertical tilt. How could you miss that?" Lister looked hopelessly to Kryten and Rimmer just shooked his head.
"Look, he did it again. And again!"
Rimmer ignored him and turned his head to face Kryten again. "Kryten, do you like me?" he tried it again, Lister nodded fast. "Well, do you?" said loudly Rimmer, Kryten closed his eyes tightly and slowly turn his head creakingly down and up - and down again, where it stayed. "There you go, what did I tell you?" pointed Lister out and Rimmer just shooked his head again, closing his eyes for a moment.
"If that'll be all, sirs, I think I'll go and change heads. I think I may just have ruined this one," said Kryten and left cockpit closing door after him.
"You must think I'm stupid," pointed out Rimmer and sighed again. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't unplug right now," Rimmer said and to proof his words, he pluged out the cabel. The battery started beeping immediately when it finded out that was something pluged out.
"Whoa! Whoa!" Lister stood up, worried. "Look, we need ya. I need ya," admited Lister but Rimmer just shooked his head again. "Why?" Rimmer asked simply. "To bounce off, you know, ideas and stuff," answered Lister hopelessly. Rimmer's eyebrows shrank. "You don't need me. I'm not sure you ever did. I don;t exist. What's the point of me?" said Rimmer his thoughts finally aloud.
"Rimmer, we're the posse. We're the boys from the Dwarf. We're like the Four Musketeers, D'Artagnan, Porthos, Athos... and the other one. Rimmer, you're the other one." Smeg, that wasn't really smart speech, was it?
"I'm the other one?" asked Rimmer slowly and looked at Lister.
"You do all the stuff that the other one does."
"And what's that, then?"
"'Other one' stuff."
"'Other one' stuff? What's 'other one' stuff?"
"All the stuff that the others haven't done that the other one does."
Rimmer shooked his head, closing his eyes. "I'm pointless," he sighed.
"No, you're not," Lister said quietly and looked outside the window in cockpit. And there comes the thought! "You know, I'll tell you the point of you." Rimmer rolled his eyes but listened. "A moon cannot make light, right? And yet there's such a thing as moonlight."
Rimmer really didn't know why he let himself talk with Lister like that, like... seriously. But he let himself think that he's being just curious about what Lister has in the small brain of his so he answered the real thing and not some sarcastic sentense which would send Lister down. "It's light reflected off a moon from a sun."
"Yeah, but the sun can't make moonlight without the moon. And the moon can't make moonlight without the sun, so who's making the moonlight?" Asked Lister, pointing out the window even that Rimmer stood with his back on him and he couldn't see him. "They both are."
"Which means that even though a moon cannot make light, moonlight exists. Like you, smeghead." Rimmer stared, unblinking again. Lister really got a point. But how does it make him... whoa. That feeling was really weird. He should probably plug himself in again but he couldn't move. But at this moment he really didn't mind. He wanted solve this thing. That was interesting. Maybe he really fit here. Maybe it always has to be him. Maybe he has to die, he didn't know why exactly, but maybe all of this is right. Maybe he's just meant to be here, be here with their stupid weird crew along all the universe.
"Who's the sun, then?" asked Rimmer while he turned to see Lister's face. "What do you mean?"
"Well, if I am the moonlight, like the moon technically because it's named moonlight from moon, obviously, who's the sun in this smegging equation of yours?" Lister chuckled and shooked his head. "It's me, Rimmer. I am the sun."
Rimmer shrank his eyebrows and devolved the weight on his leg to the other. "Sorry, Lister, but you?"
"Yeah, me, smeghead. Like I said before, that I need ya, the sun needs the moon. I need ya, Arnie." Lister have never called Rimmer Arnie. Not even Arnold. Everybody on the Red Dwarf always called him Rimmer. Rimmer looked at Lister, his face showed suprised expression and just staring sight.
"You should probably plug yourself in again, Rimmer. Your light starting to be quite of... void." This woke Rimmer up, he quickly plug himself in and felt how the strenght coming into his body. Oh, he felt nice. That was better, much better. And when they're gonna be on a Red Dwarf again, it will be even superior. He sighed comfortably and let himself look at Lister again. That was the moment he probably should thank him. But it's Lister, for smeg's sake. How he should say something like that to someone like him? He will laugh, won't he?
"Thank you, Listy," he let himself said that and even lightly smiled. Lister suprisingly didn't start laughing. He looked even more worried now. "Did it help?" he asked but Rimmer didn't know answer for this question. Why would Lister ask for something like that? Does he really care? Why he does care? "Lister, I don't know. I feel less pointless now but am I really? This little voice in my head still tells me otherwise, Lister. I can't help it, I'm sorry." It was the most honest thing what Rimmer could ever tell Lister.
Lister looked at him, face expression couldn't be read. Rimmer had no idea what is going on in his head right now. But when he came near him, when he almost could smell his breath, when their eyes met and Rimmer could say the exact colour of them he already knew. He felt what was going on on Lister's mind. "I'll show you the point of you, may I?" asked Lister quietly and Rimmer couldn't do anything but gulp. The closeness between them gave Rimmer butterflies in his stomach and he couldn't move. Little nod was like automatic move what his computer did on purpose. He couldn't help himself. Right now it actually felt like someone was controlling his body. Lister's lips came near Rimmer's ear and lightly touch it. Rimmer couldn't hold his quiet moan and slowly closed his eyes. Lister's lips were now on Rimmer's neck, touching him as slightly as he could. Rimmer let his hands touch Lister's shoulders and slowly pulled him closer. Even that he was still in black-white vision, he could touch things and he was so grateful for it right now. Lister's hands slowly unbuttoned his shirt and his naked skin was fastly covered by Lister's lips. Even Rimmer started unbutton Lister's shirt but he immediately took it off of him, so Lister stand there half naked.
Rimmer felt how he's getting aroused but he didn't want to feel something more until he touches Lister's lips by himself. He took Lister's face into his hands, few minutes stared into his eyes and after killing all that weird thoughts about something could come in, he kissed Lister.
Lister moaned into his lips quietly, put his hands into Rimmer's short hair and pulled it tightly. Rimmer open his mouth slightly what was a great chance for Lister to put his tongue in. They kissed for few minutes straight until Lister had to pull away to start breathing again. "Smeg, Rimsy," he breathed out but didn't give Rimmer time to answer, he kissed him again. Rimmer put his hands on Lister's naked shoulders and slowly moving them down, until they were on Lister's trousers, slowly unbuckling his belt. Lister moaned again into Rimmer's lips, let him do whatever he wanted but just let him touching him.
When the trousers fell down under his knees, Rimmer slowly pulled away from Lister's lips and kneed down. With eyes fixated on Lister's eyes he put his pants off and took his penis into his hand, stroking it slowly. Lister moaned loudly and tilted his head. Rimmer lightly smiled and put Lister's cock into his mouth. Lister moaned again, put his hands into Rimmer's hair and pulled it tightly. He tried to not moan to aloud but he couldn't help himself. Even if he knew that Rimmer do this for a smegging first time in his life, he was so good. Almost too good. "Oh, Rimmer... I..." he moaned loudly when he came. It was the shortest time he's ever come but it was strong as smeg.
He quickly helped Rimmer to stand up again and pulled him into a kiss not wondering about tasting himself in Rimmer's mouth. "I ought to probably return the job to you, shouldn't I?" Lister asked, still panting. Rimmer shooked his head and kissed Lister shortly. "I want something else, Dave," he said quietly and started unbuckling his belt. Lister watched him and he felt how he's getting hard again. Just the vision, even black and white, of Rimmer uncover himself was too much for him. Of course he has seen him before, many times actually but it has not ever been like that. That was smegging hot!
When Rimmer stand there, totally naked infront of Lister, he had to gulp. This sight was like heaven itself. He slowly touch his skin on his thighs and waist and pull him tighter. "So, what do you want, Arnie?" Rimmer pulled him into a kiss again, slightly brushing his lips against Lister's and after few moments pulled away slowly. "I want to make love with you, Listy." This sentence hit harder than it probably should. Saying 'making love' could be two different meanings. First could be that Arnold really don't want to say a word 'sex' and the second could be that Rimmer actually liked him more than he expected. But, smeg it, he did too anyway. Why he would do all of this if he didn't like him, right? "Are you sure?" Lister knew that this was little bit pointless question, Rimmer didn't asked for anything if he didn't actually mean it. That was maybe the reason why Rimmer smiled. Oh, how bright that smile was!
"Yes, Listy. I want you to have sex with you. Right now and right there. I want you to put your big cock into me and fuck me until I forget my own name, Lister!" Wow, that was... Lister never heard talk Rimmer like that but it was hot. His cock was even harder and it hurted how hard it was. God, just imagination of his cock disappearing in Rimmer's tight hole made him moan. "I can do this for ya, my second technician," Lister whispered into Rimmer's ear, turned his back to him and slightly touched Rimmer's arse. Rimmer gasped as Lister's fingers circled around his hole. Lister pulled away his hand and lend it to Rimmer to suck his fingers of. Rimmer's tongue slowly licked Lister's fingers, sucking them and putting them along into his mouth. Now it was Lister who moaned. He put his fingers out of Rimmer's mouth or he cums immediately. He slowly return his fingers on Rimmer's hole again and even slower put his first finger into his hole. Rimmer moaned and grabbed Lister's hand to help himself hold on to. Lister slowly thrusted into Rimmer's hole with his finger and tried to find his... oh, there it is. Rimmer loudly groaned and tilted his head as Lister found his prostate. He continued hit this spot and without Rimmer's knowledge added a second finger into his hole. He sped up his thrusts and tried to not cum just hearing Rimmer's moans. He added a third finger and few times thrusted into him until he took out his fingers and slightly stroke his own cock. Rimmer felt so empty now but when Lister slowly pushed in the head of his cock he couldn't help but groan. He was really big and it hurt as Lister cock slowly spread out his hole. Lister pushed himself all in and waited few seconds until Rimmer let him know he can continue. Rimmer was so tight and it was hard to not cum just because of the feeling being in him. God, he never thought this could happen between them.
"You can move now, Listy. It feels so good," Rimmer whispered and Lister pushed himself little bit out and in again. Rimmer moaned, put his hands on a chair to held on himself and let Lister thrust into him. "God, you're so tight, Rimmer. It's so hard not to cum into you," panted Lister as he sped up his thrusts and fuck Rimmer even harder. Rimmer groaned, held on tighter and tried to not moan to loudly. But it was so hard with a cock like that deep in his arse, thrusting into his prostate. "Listy, if you won't slow down, I'm gonna cum every second, m'laddo." Lister couldn't stop. He was so close as well. So he ignored Rimmer, even put his hand on his cock and stroke him in the same rhytm as his thrusts and whispered into his ear: "Come for me, Arnie."
Rimmer couldn't hold it even more, with a loud moan and name Lister on his lips, he came on Lister's hand and his stomach. As Rimmer's hole tightened even Lister couldn't help it anymore and he came into Rimmer. He never had a strong orgasm as this. He panted, held Rimmer's body to help himself stand and kissed Rimmer's neck slowly. After few minutes he pulled himself out of Rimmer's body and let himself, naked as he was, sit on a chair, still trying to find his breath.
Rimmer slowly started dressing up and tried hide his blushing face. What he has just done? How this had even happen? "Are you okay, Rimsy?" asked Lister, also started dressing up. "Don't call me like that." Lister stood up, came closer to Rimmer and tried to put his hands on Rimmer's shoulders but he did one step away from him. "What's going on, Rimmer? What have I done?" Rimmer turned on him and almost started screaming but he slowly realised that none of this was Lister's fault. For once. "Something broke in me." He turned away again and slowly breathed in and out. The cabel in his back didn't let him go on bigger distance than he was so he just stood there, eyes closed. "Have I done it?" Lister asked slowly and quietly. "I thought you liked it, Rimmer."
"I did, that's maybe the problem, Listy." Lister didn't understand a single word what Rimmer said. "Arnold, if you feel bad because you liked sex with a man, it's nothing wrong about it. I understand you feel weird because you've never experienced something like that-"
"Oh, you can't know that!"
"-but it's nothing wrong on it at all. And if it's me? Who cares, Rimsy? It is just two of us in this smegging universe, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Lister ignored Rimmer's sentence, everyone knew he's never had sex before. Rimmer thought about it for a second. It was true he always liked women but sex with Lister unlocked some secret stuff in his mind he has no idea that existed. And he liked it, he had to admit that. It was good, really good. And he definitely wanted to do it again. And how Lister said, it's just two of them there. At least right now. So he turned to see Lister again, slowly came infront of him, put his hands on his neck and kissed him slowly.
"Thank you for turn on the light in me, Listy."