I had called Morgan and Reid for help on our third day off. They helped me deconstruct my bed, and we took all my furniture to the storage unit.
After all of that was done, I took them to a bar and brought them a few drinks. We had dinner there too, and then they both went home, and I went back to my place.
I packed all my boxes into my car and then returned to my empty apartment. I walked around to make sure I didn't miss anything, and then I said a last goodbye and left my key on the counter; I'd message my landlord in the morning and let him know I was finished and where the key was.
I drove to Hotch's place and took up two boxes. I put them down to unlock the door, to find the apartment empty. I thought about calling Hotch to see where he was, but this was my place now too, so I decided to just make the half a dozen trips to get my boxes and clothes in now.
It took me a while, and then I found he had cleared closet space and most of his drawers for me. I hung and folded clothes in a new order to fit into the smaller space than where they came from.
I unpacked the boxes from my bedroom onto my nightstand, and the dresser that was bare apart from two picture frames. Men were so simple.
I put my toiletries into the cupboard in the bathroom and left the remaining boxes stacked in the corner of the bedroom.
I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and almost spilt it when the front door opened, startling me.
"Hey." Hotch was shocked to see me here.
"Hi."
"Emmy!" Jack ran in to hug me. I kissed his hair and he told me all about the dinner he and his dad had with Uncle Dave. He reluctantly went to get ready for bed when Hotch told him to, and then he came back to say goodnight to me. Hotch went to read him a bedtime story and I went into our bedroom with my wine and reclined on the bed.
Hotch joined me after about fifteen minutes, and he watched me for a short while.
"What?" I asked.
"You have finished everything? Your apartment is bare?"
I nodded, "Yeah. Morgan and Reid helped me move all my furniture to the storage unit today. We started late morning, finished early evening. Bought them dinner and a few drinks as a thank you, then packed all the boxes into my car and came here."
He eyed the boxes in the corner, "You have three boxes?"
"I have three boxes left. All of this," I motioned to the dresser and my nightstand, "And my toiletries I already unpacked. Most of my boxes were clothes, and I already put them all into their places."
"So what's left?"
"A few kitchen items that you either didn't have, or I wanted to keep. Special mugs, favourite peeler, things like that. And picture frames, little decorative knick knacks, etcetera."
He nodded and then looked at me with a soft smile, "You looked exhausted."
"I am," I nodded. I saw him wince when he shifted. My eyebrows furrowed, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just hurt my back a bit today at the park with Jack."
I nodded and grabbed the massage oil out of my nightstand drawer. "Take your shirt off, lay on your stomach." He gave me a questioning look, and then I showed him the oil. He went to protest, but I spoke before he could, "Now." I smiled.
He did as he was told, and he grunted quietly when I straddled his thighs. I kissed up his spine to his neck before I sat back and poured the oil.
When we returned to work on Monday, I filled out the relevant paperwork to change my address. I handed it over to Hotch and he seemed thrilled to see his address now listed as mine as well.
We were called out to Knoxville, Tennessee. We were dealing with young women being eviscerated in parks at night and left there until found in the morning.
After three days in Knoxville, it was obvious that we were struggling to catch this guy. The victimology got us nowhere; the only thing they had in common was that they were women, between the ages of 20-25. Two had blonde hair, one red, two brunette. They didn't have any overlap in the personal lives that Garcia could find.
They were victims of opportunity of an efficient unsub.
On our fifth night, Hotch texted me and asked me to stay in his room tonight. We were on a case; we shouldn't do that, but he was beginning to get too frustrated with this case and blaming himself for the latest victim. I waited until I was sure the others were all in their rooms, and then I went and knocked quietly.
He kissed me when I closed the door behind me, and then I showered, and we just went to bed. He didn't want to be alone, and claimed he just missed holding me.
On our tenth day, we caught him in the act well after dark. Morgan tackled him down, and I tried to keep the woman's organs inside of her body while we awaited the ambulance. The doctors were confident that she would survive.
So early on our eleventh day, we were flying home.
I sat with Reid on the plane away from the others. We played gin for the short flight, and then we all headed straight home.
Hotch picked Jack up on his way, and I went straight to the apartment. Spending ten straight days in Hotch's presence on a case, on top of the time together in the same home with barely any time apart was harder than I expected.
When he arrived home with Jack, I spent some time with the boy before I went to the bedroom to lay down and read for a while.
After a half hour, Hotch came looking for me.
"Hey." He stood in the doorway. I glanced up to acknowledge him, and then returned to the page. "Jack and I are going to watch a movie. Will you be joining us?"
"No, thanks."
"…Okay." He closed the door again behind him.
I stayed in the bedroom for the rest of the afternoon. I read for most of it, and then I completed some paperwork. I spent the last hour of alone time first scrolling through my social media, and then just laying down, staring at the ceiling.
When Hotch came back in, it was early evening. "Will you be coming out for dinner?"
"Yeah." I got up and went to leave the room with him, but he didn't move from his stance in the doorway. He glanced behind him for Jack, and then stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing?"
"What's wrong today?"
"Nothing."
"You have been holed up in here all day. You were short with me when I came home, and you didn't want to watch a movie with Jack. Something is wrong."
I sighed and looked away, "This is just…harder than I expected it to be."
"What is?"
"Moving in. We have been in each other's presence for two weeks straight. Before I moved in, I could at least go home for a while after a case and be alone. Now, I don't have my own space. We're going to start getting irritated with each other, and we're going to fight, and—"
"Stop." He cut me off, "I understand what you're saying. So you've been in here all day to get some space from me, that's fine. But it's not enough for you…" I went to speak, but he held a hand up to say he wasn't finished, "Maybe moving in together here wasn't the best idea."
"No, Aaron. I want to live with you, I just need to adjust."
He smiled, "I didn't mean we shouldn't live together; I mean maybe we shouldn't here. This apartment is small, there's barely enough space for Jack and me. I should have known that adding you to the mix was going to cause this. You're a naturally independent person, you don't want people with you 24/7."
"…So?" I shook my head.
"So we should look for a bigger apartment, or house, even."
"…But you like it here."
"It's an apartment, Emily. I like you more, and I don't want you to resent me or break up with me because you feel overcrowded all the time." He took my hand and kissed the back of it. "So we'll find a bigger place where you can have your own space."
I loved how well he understood and accepted the kind of person I am. I took a step forward to close the space between us and I kissed him. When we parted, I rested my forehead against his, "Marry me."
He pulled back quickly to look me in the eyes properly, "What?"
"Marry me, Aaron."
His response died on his tongue as the quick knock on the door sounded, "Daddy!" Jack yelled out, "Daddy, I'm hungry!" He glanced at the door behind him and the looked back to me. I smiled and motioned for him to go.
I watched him open the door and walk out the kitchen with Jack, and I stayed here for a few seconds to breathe. I didn't miss the look in his eyes when I asked; he didn't want to marry me. That shattered my heart, but Jack was here and in his usual good mood, so I ignored it and joined them in the kitchen to help cook.
Hotch and I were quiet with each other, although we responded and spoke to Jack happily. I could feel the awkward tension between us and it worried me. Had I just ruined everything?
We didn't talk about it again last night. After Jack went to bed, I waited for him to bring it up. He didn't; he went about his routine quietly and then told me he loved me and went to sleep. He hadn't even kissed me goodnight like usual.
This morning, he was already up when I woke, which wasn't unusual. He had a cup of coffee waiting for me when I exited the bathroom and went into the kitchen, and he asked if I wanted something to eat. He was normal, considerate, but it was still awkward.
When I got into work, I found JJ in the breakroom and told her to follow me. I found an empty office and went in, closing the door behind her. "What's wrong?" She asked with concern.
"I asked Hotch to marry me last night."
"Whoa! Who knew Emily Prentiss would ever settle? When's the wedding?"
"I don't think that there is going to be one…"
"Come again?"
"He looked…panicked…when I asked. And he didn't know how to respond, and then Jack interrupted so we left it for the time being, but it was so awkward for the rest of the night. Then Jack went to bed, he was quiet, he said he loved me but he didn't kiss me, and then this morning the awkwardness was still there…"
"Oh…" She was about to speak again, but she looked behind me and I turned to see Hotch walk past the window. The door opened and he looked at us. "Case?" She asked.
"No, Morgan and Reid just said they hadn't seen either of you, and I knew Emily was in but I hadn't seen you either, JJ. I was just seeing if you were here."
"Present." She smiled. He nodded and then looked at me. I met his eyes for only a brief moment before I dropped them and turned back to JJ, my back to him. I heard the door close and then she let out a breath. "He loves you. He asked you to move in with him, he continues to assure you that you are a permanent part of Jack's life now. He wants a life with you, Emily. Maybe he's just not ready to get remarried. Haley died…what…a year ago?"
"Year and a half." I mumbled.
She nodded, "They were married a long time. Maybe he just isn't ready right now."
I looked at my shoes as I spoke again, "He wants to get a bigger place so that I can have my own space."
She nodded, "That's good, reassuring! Let yourself settle, and then talk to him about it. Ask him for a straight answer of is he just not ready right now, or does he not want that. Communicate." She squeezed my hand and then left the office.
I took a few deep breaths and then followed her out. I went to my desk and greeted the boys before diving into the paperwork.
My mind kept replaying the look in his eyes and it made me nauseous. What if this was it for us? I would have nowhere to live, I would need to transfer out, I would lose Jack, and I would be alone again.
A few times throughout the morning Hotch left and returned to his office between meetings. Each time we made eye contact but neither of us spoke.
At lunch, I went and sat in the breakroom with a coffee. Rossi sat across from me with his own cup and waited. When it was obvious that I wasn't going to start a conversation, he did. "I can sense your anxiety from my office…"
I smiled at him weakly, "I'm fine."
He nodded, "Aaron spoke to me this morning…and I just want to give you something to think about. You were the first one to say I love you…and you asked him to marry you. Do you understand where I'm going with this?"
I shook my head, "No."
He smiled and stood, "Think about it."
The rest of my afternoon, I tried to decipher what Rossi was trying to imply while finishing off paperwork.
I left work at five-thirty and sat at the dining table for a half hour before Hotch and Jack got home. I spoke with Jack briefly before he ran to find some toys to play with. When I met Hotch's eyes, I smiled and tilted my head. He tried to return the smile, but I could see it was forced.
He went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner, and I went and sat at the counter island, "Aaron—"
"Wait for Jack to go to bed, please." He cut me off.
"…Okay."
He sighed and looked down, shaking his head, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. It's been a long day." I just nodded. I went to get some paperwork I brought home, and I filled that out at the counter while he cooked the pasta.
Jack fought Hotch tonight at bedtime. He went down almost an hour past the usual time, and then I could see how drained and exhausted Hotch was. I decided I'd wait to talk to him. It was still awkward, but less so now that I thought I knew what the issue was.
I'd address it tomorrow.