Chapter 46

"How does Fin feel about it?"

Liv pours herself a glass of wine, leaning against the kitchen counter. "He laughed it off, but I know he's hurt by it. I'm hurt by it….I'm sure Mike is going to be fine, but it takes time to build that trust, and as my number 2, I need to know that he's going to have my back."

Rafael adds the cheese he'd been cutting to the charcuterie board he had been making, turning to her. "If it's coming from the Commissioner's office, there's probably not much you can do, babe."

Sipping her wine, she shrugs a shoulder. "….it will be fine. I just….I wanted this for Fin. No one deserves it more than him."

"I get it," he reassures. He moves to the sink, rinsing the grapes, plucking them from their vines. "Any word back from his rope guy?"

She shakes her head. "They're backed up, and considering we already got a confession, it's not top priority. Willard is walking around, a free man."

He adds the grapes to the board, opening the package of cured meats. "You'll get him."

"There's more, I want to talk to you about."

Rafael nods. "Ok. I'm listening."

Going to her bag, she pulls out the files Trevor had left with her. Silently, she lays out her updated Will and health care directives on the island beside him.

Wiping his hands, he looks over the paperwork.

She watches the recognition cross his face, at what she's telling him, and his gaze meets hers. Before he can say anything, she lays the other two folders out for him to see. She's only signed one, the adoption papers, and as he flips through the paperwork, the tears are welling in his eyes in understanding.

"Liv."

"Despite it not being his area of expertise, I think Trevor's covered all the legalities….I wanted you to look them over, to be sure."

He's wiping his eyes, shaking his head. "This isn't my area of expertise either," he laughs a little. "I can get Rita to look at them but…" He flips through the paperwork, noting her signature on the adoption papers. "…are you sure?….if things change between us-"

"-you're going to ask me to marry you, remember?"

A soft smile tugs at his mouth. "I am."

"Doesn't sound like anything's going to change between us, then," she points out. "Noah has already chosen you, and if anything were to ever happen to me, I need to know that he'll have you."

"Always," he reassures softly. "He'll always have me."

"Then this is just making it official." She searches for a pen in her bag, leaving it on the island in front of him. Liv leans into him, wrapping her arms around his waist as he signs his name under hers on the adoption papers. There isn't any hesitation on his part, and she presses a kiss to cheek, resting her head on his shoulder.

When he's finished, he slides the file with her Will and health care directives in front of him, looking through it as well.

She rubs his back. "….in the hospital, the doctor recommended a hysterectomy. You said no."

" It wasn't life threatening and I didn't want anyone taking that decision from you." He stops when he sees Fin's name as her witness. "He signed this willingly?"

"He did."

Rafael exhales heavily, and its not lost on him what this means, how important it is for her to have someone she trusts the most, support her decision.

"….do you want more kids, Rafa?"

"What do you want?"

"I asked you first."

He smiles, moving to position her between the island and his body. Sliding his hands under her shirt, he splays his hands over her abdomen. "Have I thought about us having a baby? Feeling the life we've created growing inside of you? Envisioned a little girl with your eyes, your smile….your everything? Of course I have. I also know that it's your body that will be bringing this life into the world and it's not only what I want."

"I'm not exactly young."

Rafael nods. "And our jobs are demanding. We've got Noah, each other."

"….would you consider adoption?"

"Of course."

She caresses his forearms, his biceps. "You should probably make an honest woman out of me first, before we starting thinking any further."

He laughs, and the lines at the corners of his eyes cause her stomach to flip in a good way. "You're the most honest person I know, Liv. But noted, amor…. What do you want?"

"I want to see the look in your eyes when we hear the heartbeat for the first time. I want to watch you fall in love all over again, watch you be the father you already are to Noah….I want a little boy with your eyes and your smile…your everything…..and if that's not in the cards for us, I want us to take that love, and give it to a child that needs it. That's what I want."

"We're on the same page then?"

Liv nods. "We are."

Rafael smiles, that one that lights up his entire face and reaches his eyes. "Ok then."

She's smiling too, and she leans in to press her lips to his in a kiss.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"I never asked you; is it alright that I'm drinking right now?"

Rafael sifts his fingers through her hair. "It's fine….just because I'm not, doesn't mean you shouldn't….turns out, alcohol has been a coping mechanism of mine."

Pulling back from his arms, she meets his gaze. "You'll tell me, if it's triggering for you?"

He nods, and she settles back into his arms. They're watching some home Reno show and she's only really half paying attention. His fingers are sweeping through her hair, and he's practically lulling her to sleep and turning her on all at once.

"That color is hideous," he comments.

She draws her attention to the TV, noting the sea foam green the designer has chosen for the bathroom. "Too beach house….doesn't really fit the rest of the house."

"They probably should have chosen the farm house…..seems to fit their personalities better…their lifestyle."

She slips her hand under his sweater, splaying her fingers over his skin. "Rafa?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't really want to watch this."

Reaching for the remote, he brings up the guide. "Survivor's on?"

She laughs, tipping her head into his neck. "….I wanna fool around a little," she murmurs in his ear, kissing along his jaw towards his mouth.

"That sounds like a better idea," he agrees, slipping his hand under his Harvard sweater that she's got on, his other sliding between her thighs.

She presses her lips to his and he's meeting his tongue with hers, his hand sliding up her back to unhook her bra. He's got it undone one handed and she smiles against his lips. "Where'd you learn that trick, counsellor?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He breathes against her lips with a smirk.

She's pulling him with her down to the couch, and the minute his body presses into her, everything about her own seems to come to life. His hands are sliding under her bra and he hums against her mouth when he finds her nipples already painfully hard. "How long have you been turned on, amor?"

"Since I watched you massage the chicken a few nights ago," she admits.

He chuckles, pulling back to meet her eyes. "That did it for you, huh?"

"Your hands are sexy, Rafa."

His pupils immediately dilate, and he's tugging on her nipples gently. "…..have you been thinking about my hands all night?"

She nods, closing her eyes.

"Where do you want them, Liv?" He questions.

"You know where," she sighs, arching her back into his touch.

His lips are on hers, and he gently tugs at her bottom lip. "You want me to slide my fingers through your lips, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Slip my fingers inside of you….I bet you're wet right now, aren't you?"

"Only one way to find out," she breathes against his mouth.

He smiles. "I don't think your doctor would classify that as light duties."

"I don't care…Rafa, please."

Settling beside her best he can, he slips his hands between the waistband of her sweats and panties. "Spread your legs, amor."

She hooks a leg over his hip, opening herself up to him and he slides his middle and ring finger through her lips. It's been a long six weeks and she knows all it will take is a few strokes against her clit. "It's really sensitive," she sighs, grabbing his wrist, slowing him down.

"Show me how you want it."

Slipping her hand over his, she lightens his touch, using the length of his fingers to create friction as she slides them up and down through her lips. "…just like this."

The TV drones on and she vaguely registers the home owners agreeing that they should have went with the farm house but her own voice, breathy and soft, quickly drowns them out. Grabbing his wrist, she stills him, lifting her hips to grind against him.

"That's it, Liv," he praises. "Take what you want."

"Rafa," she groans. "I'm gonna come, babe." Her orgasm washes over her almost immediately, and he's got a hand under her sweater, teasing her nipples. "Don't stop," she pleads. "Make me come again." Her nails dig into his forearm, her hips grinding against his fingers and hand.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

She pulls his mouth to hers, and she shakes her head. "God, Rafa," she wines. "Your mouth….I want your mouth." He slides down the couch, taking her sweats and panties with him. He hooks her legs over his shoulders and the minute his mouth touches her, she's unravelling, and her fingers are in his hair, keeping him next to her as she grinds against his mouth.

He hums against her, a hand on her lower stomach pressing down and the vibrations sending everything south and the urge for release is too strong. Looking down at him between her thighs, she lets go. He holds her gaze as he works her through her orgasm, his hands soothing her trembling body.

She's louder than she wants to be and she hopes the TV is enough to buffer the pleasure that he's wringing out of her.

He flattens his tongue, stroking over her and she squeezes her thighs together."Fuck," she moans. She's so sensitive it's almost painful but he keeps a steady pace and the pleasure is there and her thighs are trembling and she wants to push him away and drag him closer and she pulls on his hair, bucking her hips and he's pushing her back down into the couch and the growl that comes from him sends her over.

Her body goes slack and he relents, watching as she trembles in front of him. "You're so beautiful like this, Liv."

She runs her fingers through his hair, more gentle this time. "I feel beautiful like this," she pants. "…only you, Rafa…"

Kissing her thighs, he untangles himself from her legs, moving to lay next to her. She's still blissed out, her breathing heavy, and he brushes the hair from her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You're not in any pain, are you?"

She shakes her head, reaching out, needing to touch him. He pulls the blanket from the back of the couch throwing it over them, pulling her closer.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Am I in trouble?" Noah questions.

"No, you're not in any trouble," Liv reassures, sitting next to him at the table. "Papa and I want to discuss something with you."

Rafael leans against the island, cradling his coffee to keep his hands steady. Despite Liv's reassurance that Noah will be happy, there's still a something inside of him that doubts it.

"Do you remember when Papa was Uncle Rafa?" Liv begins.

Noah nods.

"And you decided that you'd rather call him Papa."

Noah nods again, his bottom lip trembling. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Rafael answers immediately. Circling the island, he takes the seat next to him. "I don't want you to stop, mijo…..we just want to make it official, if it's alright with you."

Noah wipes his eyes, looking between them. "What do you mean?"

"You're my son, in every way, Noah," Rafael assures. "And you and I and Momma, we know that. But when it comes to the law, we'd have to make it official."

Noah's silent for a minute. "How do we do that?"

"Well," he exhales, pulling the file folder towards them. "Momma and I had a friend of ours do all the legal paperwork and we've already signed them….the next step would be going to see a judge and they'd make it official."

"Then you'd be my Papa?"

Rafael nods, swallowing hard. "If that's what you want."

Noah frowns. "Of course that's what I want. Can I have eggs for breakfast?"

Liv laughs, and Rafael exhales, nodding. "Of course."

Noah turns in his seat as Rafael heads towards the fridge. "Does this mean I get to be a Benson and a Barba?"

They didn't discuss last names, and Liv looks towards Rafael. "Well, you already have two last names-"

"-but why do I have to be a Porter? I don't even know anyone with the same last name," he reasons. "Why can't I be a Benson and a Barba?"

"That's what you want?" Rafael questions carefully.

Noah nods. "Why do you keep asking that? You're my Papa. You play Legos with me and have the best voices and your hugs are the best when I'm really, really scared." He looks between them. "I want to be a Benson and a Barba."

They're both wiping their eyes and Liv nods. "Then we'll get the Judge to change you're name to Noah Benson-Barba."

Noah smiles at this, sliding off his chair to give her a hug. "When can we see the judge?"

She lifts him into her arms, kissing the top of his head. "As soon as we can, babe."

Tbc