Author's Note- Thank you all for the lovely reception to the first chapter of this story. I have no intention of not returning to my other stories, and I hope that I will get another of my other stories updated still this week. I'm really enjoying this story for the moment. If you want to look up the house that they are in, it is 39 S. Battery in Charleston. It is currently on the market for a nice sum. The facts that Rhett tells about the house are true about the actual house. The shore line in 1873 (my map is from 1872) is quite different from the shoreline in 2023. There are also floor plans of the actual house on Zillow, and though they may be quite different from how the house was laid out in 1873, I am using them for my story purposes. I'm planning on posting this story 2X a week until the entire story is up. So Merry Christmas. They say that all writing is autobiographical, so there are many small moments in her culled from my life, that I've twisted for the story. I've also used facts from A. Ripley's story about Charleston because she did write quite a bit about the area, and I think that she did have solid historical understanding of the area. Without further ado, here is the 2nd chapter of Where Are you Christmas?
Chapter 2 - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
The carriage ride was relatively short from the King Street Station to the house Rhett had gifted his mother on the Battery. It was not far from the home Rhett had grown up in, but has been lost during the war. There was nothing about the home that stood out from the neighbors, which meant that it was approved by society. And Charleston society was far worse than Atlanta could even imagine.
Scarlett remained silent on the ride, allowing Ella's chatter to fill the air, though Rhett answered her questions as much as he could before she asked another. "Uncle Rhett, this is such a pretty horse. What is his name?"
"I don't know. I hired him for the day. Most of the best families in Charleston don't have their own anymore. Not since the war." he offered.
"But why, Uncle Rhett? That seems silly. How are people supposed to get around without a buggy?" Ella continued to prattle. "Mother got me new coloring books to color on the trip. Can I show you one of the pictures we colored?"
"Most of them walk," he answered the previous question, and he acted interested in the paper that was being shoved in his face. But Scarlett could feel Rhett's gaze upon her, though she refused to meet his eyes. She was still trying to process the encounter with the children from the train. Their presence had made her long for the children she'd lost, and she couldn't shake the melancholy feeling that had descended over her. It clung to her like a wet veil, and she could hardly lift her head from the weight of it.
She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her several moments to realize that the carriage had stopped. Wade and Ella had already climbed down, she looked up to find Rhett expectantly waiting on her. "Welcome to Charleston, Scarlett." He held her hand as he helped out of the carriage.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Thank you, Rhett."
But he was already going in through the white iron gate, and he acted like he hadn't even heard her. The front door opened, and Rhett's mother stood waiting with open arms to greet the children. At this, she could smile. At least the children would not be miserable for Christmas. She couldn't fix any of it, and she could bring back the dead, but at least they would be reasonably happy, as long as she could keep up her head.
As she entered through the door she quickly realized the door led to an open-air courtyard with a fountain in the center and not into the house just yet. But Rhett's mother took one look at her and embraced her. "My dear daughter," she crooned, her hands brushing at Scarlett's damp cheeks. "It's been an awful year for you." Those words pried at her already bleeding wounds, scraping her raw.
Evelyn Butler took Scarlett in her arms and hugged her tightly. Rhett's mother was taller than Scarlett, though not nearly as tall as Rhett. She was beautiful, even at her age. Her dark hair was streaked with a liberal sprinkling of silver. Her shoulders were broad, and she seemed able to bear the burdens thrust upon her. Her eyes were kind, and they were a warm golden brown like freshly baked bread.
Scarlett was uncomfortable for a moment at the contact, but it also felt so familiar. It had been so long since someone had embraced her, especially since someone held on for an embrace that truly made you feel safe. And as Rhett's mother held her, suddenly Scarlett felt like this was what she'd been missing since she returned to Tara after feeling Atlanta and finding her mother dead –that mother's comfort had been absent for so long. It was what she desperately needed, but it unleashed a torrent of grief that had been bottling up for months. Scarlett hated to cry in front of anyone, and so instead of dealing with her pain, she tried to bottle it up and store it away until she was ready to process it. But instead, it kept bursting forth, for a dam can only hold back the river for so long before the waters rush over it and flood the river bed again. Scarlett began sobbing, everything was just too close to the surface.
She gently urged Scarlett inside, and they stood in the foyer while Scarlett cried. "Rhett, take the children up to their rooms and get them settled" Mother Butler commanded, waving her hands to direct him. And though Rhett would likely never take that command from anyone else, his mother still held that power. "Don't you worry about your wife. I'll take care of her."
Rhett sent the butler out to gather the bags, and he led the children up the stairs, while his mother followed him to the second floor with Scarlett. She led her daughter-in-law into an airy bedroom decorated in dark, rich colors and brought her to the bed. "Sit down."
Scarlett nodded, not trusting her voice.
"I know that this will be a hard Christmas, and it may not feel like Christmas, but when I told Rhett he needed to invite you, he realized that I was right." Scarlett swallowed the feelings of disappointment. She wasn't here because Rhett wanted her here, she was here because his mother made him. It stung. That couldn't be helped, but she could make things better for the children. They deserved better than this year had given, and she would find her way through it to protect them, even if she wasn't good at being a mother.
"Thank you," Scarlett's voice quavered.
"Hush now, child. I'm putting you to bed." She patted Scarlett's hand. "Let me help you get ready for bed. And then I'll send up a tray of food. I told Rhett he needed to turn around and go get you back in September, but he always was the most stubborn child." Scarlett found herself submitting to Mother Butler's hands as if they were her own mother's. "I know that your mother has been gone for a while. You've been carrying too much of a burden for too long."
When she was finished, she tucked Scarlett into bed. "I'll send you some food. Just rest a little before you try to do anything."
Scarlett was startled awake by the slamming of the bedroom door. Someone was in the room, but there was almost no light from the moon to illuminate the room. "Who's there?" Scarlett's trembling voice called out.
"Unfortunately, your husband." Rhett returned gruffly.
She could hear the thud of his boots dropping on the floor and then more rustling as he undressed. "Why are you here?" She questioned.
"Because I lied to my mother, and now I have to share my bedroom with you. This house isn't really set up for his and hers bedrooms. There are only two bedrooms on this floor, and two above us. There are more rooms in the back part of the house, but those are the servants quarters. So unless I put you in one of the children's rooms, we are stuck together."
"Didn't you know this when you invited me?"
"Hush, we can't be too loud about it, because mother's room is just next to us, and sound travels through these walls exceptionally well. I heard many of my fathers tirades over the years." She could see him moving without the aid of any light, though it was just his shadowy figure in the darkness. "And I suppose I should have realized that I'd have to share my room with you, but I have great difficulty saying no to my mother. And I would prefer that Charleston know nothing about our separate bedrooms. I wouldn't think that this would be such a hardship, since you profess that you love me now, and not the hapless Ashley Wilkes."
"I'm not worried about being a hardship on me. I want to make this easier on you. I would think you'd appreciate that. And surely your mother knows there is something wrong between us. She had to have known something when she was in Atlanta. There is absolutely no way that Suellen or India Wilkes didn't say something to her. Our separate bedrooms are common knowledge back home. And you've been here for months. You can't seriously think she is unaware of the state of our marriage." Scarlett said softly, deferring to his request to speak softly.
"Yes, well, I still don't want to discuss it with her, so I would rather be uncomfortable by sharing my bedroom with you for a while than tell my mother the truth, much like I know you'd rather do pretty much anything to avoid having your mother be disappointed in you. Didn't you tell me something about ripping your favorite dress as a child climbing trees and trying to mend it yourself, rather than your mother or Mammy scolding you for playing with the Tarleton twins?" He retorted.
"Fine, Rhett. You're right. I understand," she returned with a sigh. "We will make do. It's better for the children to be here than in Atlanta this year. I'll make the sacrifice."
At this he snorted, "There is no sacrifice for you. I can sleep in my office. It is just through the door." He continued to move about the room, "We are sharing a room, not a bed. Though the bed is big enough that we could if we had to.'
"You could have warned me, or I could have just sent the children for the holiday." She pulled the covers up to cover her nightgown. "How are Wade and Ella?" she asked, as she hadn't intended to fall asleep without tucking them in.
"And leave you to your own devices for Christmas?" he snorted. "My mother absolutely wouldn't have allowed it. And the children are fine. Mother tucked them in and read them several bedtime stories, even if they are both capable of reading on their own. She already seems to really enjoy having them here. She spent quite a bit of thought and time making their bedrooms feel like they were meant for them." He replied easily. "Neither my brother nor my sister have given her any grandchildren. She has always wanted grandchildren to dote on. I should have brought them with me when I brought Bonnie." The specter of Bonnie hanging in the air between them.
"I'm glad she is enjoying having them here." Scarlett reciprocated, trying to not fight back or snap at him. "Rhett, about those children at the train station… I'm sorry that you saw them. They were near us, and the little boy just came up and asked to be held, and I couldn't turn him down. And he looked so much like what I thought our son would look like, and then the little girl sitting with Ella looked so much like Bonnie, and I …"
"You don't have to explain," he cut off her rambling. "You can't control who is riding the train with you. You certainly can't help that she looked like Bonnie. And the boy…." He huffed,and trailed off, "now I'll just grab a pillow from the bed…"
"Rhett, I'm much smaller than you. I can sleep in your office. You don't have to give up your bed. I didn't know it was your room. Your mother just brought me in here. I can make excuses to your mother if I need to."
He scoffed, "are you planning on sleeping with Ella instead of me? Or are you thinking that I should kick the maid out of her bedroom? I've already explained why you're going to have to just stay in here. Good luck convincing my mother of anything. Where do you think I got my stubbornness from? It was no wonder that Bonnie was as stubborn as she was, between your family and mine…"
The silence descended over the room, and then Scarlett climbed from the bed. "Just show me where I can sleep. I'm not taking your bed. You'll get a crick in your neck. I'll be fine."
"It seems then that we are at an impasse, as I'm not letting you sleep in a chair in my office." She tried to imagine his face as he weighed his options. "Get back into the bed, Scarlett, you'll catch a cold. It is fairly warm for December, but you're only in your shift. You didn't even dress in your nightgown."
"Your mother insisted that I lay down and my trunks were still being brought in," she returned defensively. "But I'm already enough of an inconvenience to you that I refuse to make you physically uncomfortable to make your mother happy."
"I slept on the ground while I was in the army, and I've slept in much worse places while running the blockade." He was pacing the floor beside the bed.
"You were also a decade younger then."
"Fine," he huffed. " We can sleep in the same bed. If I sleep anywhere else, my mother will know. She always knows." He moved towards the bed. " I'm a grown man, and she can still make me feel like I'm ten years old."
"Mother's have that power, at least mine did." Scarlett reminisced. "Though in hindsight, I wonder if she really did, because if she knew so much, why didn't she stop me?"
They both went silent and climbed into the bed from their respective sides, adjusting pillows and tugging on the blankets. Scarlett finally turned towards him, "Good night, Rhett. Thank you for inviting the children. They need something special this Christmas."
"Good night, Scarlett," he said softly. "And you don't need to thank me for inviting the children for Christmas."
"I know that your mother made you invite us."
"No, I mean that you don't need to thank me for this. It is Christmas, and even if I have neglected them since Bonnie, they are still my children too. I made a commitment to them when I married you, and they haven't done anything nor could they do anything to absolve me of that duty. And if all I can do to make things better is to give them a better Christmas, then I will give them the best Christmas that I can."
Scarlett took a chance and leaned over and softly kissed his cheek, "Good night."
"Good night, Scarlett." Rhett returned, and then turned and faced away from her.
Scarlett lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling, listening to him breathing. His presence was soothing, and just by being there he made her feel a little safer.
Within the foggy realms of her dreams, she could feel the panic threatening to overwhelm her. And then as if it was a miracle, she could hear Rhett's voice, soothing and warm, "Wake up, Scarlett. You are safe. I've got you." His calming words couldn't fight the panic rising within her breast, and she was again startled awake by Rhett shaking her; there was the faintest light of dawn slipping in the windows to illuminate the wrinkles around his eyes. "Good god, stop screaming! Now wake up."
She blinked up at him, unused to his presence in bed. "Did I have a nightmare?" she asked. She could feel her heart racing, and the fear from her dreams still holding on without any memory of what she had been dreaming about—but she had a good guess. Her dreams seemed to have a consistent theme, always searching in fog unable to find anyone.
There was a faint knocking on the door, "Mother?" came Ella's plaintive voice. "Mother, can I come in?"
Rhett answered, "Come in, Ella."
The door knob turned and Ella slipped inside, still dressed in her nightgown trimmed with pink ribbons and lace, her hair in two messy braids, tousled from sleep. As soon as she spotted her mother, she came scurrying across the floor and climbed into the high bed. "Oh Mother, you were having a nightmare. I could hear you crying all the way upstairs in my room. Mother, you'll have to come see my room!"
Ella snuggled up to her mother, and Scarlett smoothed her hair and pulled her close. "I'm all right. It was just a dream."
Rhett snorted, "Glad you're paying attention to one of your children now at least," he said softly, almost under his breath. Scarlett didn't respond, too busy listening to Ella, and reacting to his rude comments hadn't gained her anything. She lost every time.
"Mother helps me when I have a nightmare, and I help her when she has a nightmare." Ella patted her mother gently. "It's because of the little girl from the train, wasn't it? She looked like Bonnie, and while she was playing with me I didn't miss Bonnie so much, but now I miss her more."
"I don't remember," Scarlett returned honestly, though Ella's assumption probably was accurate.
"Ella," Rhett interjected, "I think you're right. I think seeing a little girl with you that looked like Bonnie hurt everyone a little bit, but I'm glad that she helped you a little to not miss your sister so much."
"Mother, if you're not so sad anymore," Ella changed the subject, "I'm going to go find Grandmother Butler. Last night she said she had something special planned for breakfast, and I'm hungry."
Scarlett couldn't help but smile. Ella was sweet, but she could get distracted by anything. And in response to the thought of breakfast, Scarlett's stomach began to rumble. "I'm ready for breakfast too."
"No wonder. You didn't even eat anything from the tray my mother sent up for you last night." Rhett interjected.
"I guess I was more tired than I realized." Scarlett admitted as Ella scampered from the room. The door banged behind her, and then they could hear her running down the stairs calling for Grandmother Butler.
Rhett rose from the bed. In the growing light, Scarlett could see he was almost naked, though his undershorts were still on. He had lost some of the weight he'd carried, and his face was less puffy. The time away had been good for him, at least physically, and it seemed emotionally as well.
He smirked at her appraising glance. "I'll get dressed and call for Mother's ladies' maid to come help you dress. I brought your trunk in last night while you were sleeping. You slept right through it."
"Do you have anything planned for the day for us, or are we staying here?" Scarlett asked from the bed. Rhett stepped into his closet, and she heard his muffled response. "I'm planning on taking the children and you, if you're interested, to walk around town and see the harbor. I know that you've been here before, but it has been a while. Perhaps you can do some Christmas shopping if you aren't finished."
"The last time I was here, Wade was only a babe in arms. He wasn't even sitting up on his own yet." Scarlett explained. "I do think that I must have met your mother then, which makes sense, because she is friends with my aunts. I do like your mother better than my aunts."
When Rhett stepped out of the closet, he was fully dressed in a fresh button down shirt with a dark blue jacket and trousers. He slipped a black armband on while she watched. She looked away from the reminder of their loss. "I'll have a bath drawn for you. I'm sure that you want to wash the travel dirt off and the soot from your hair."
"Thank you, Rhett." Rhett sat on the chair in the corner to slip on his boots. "Rhett, I do want to make this easier for the children. So you can say whatever you need to say, but help me keep things pleasant for them."
"Of course." He smiled blandly at her and slipped out the door.