A/N: I hope you are all still enjoying the story! I will admit, things with my mental health have gotten a little out of my control recently, so I do apologize for any sporadic updates. I will do my best to keep updating as often as I can. Enjoy!

Jed sighed as Abbey left the table, unable to keep his eyes from following her as she disappeared into the stacks, intent on finding a book that would shed some light on whatever God-forsaken subject she happened to be studying at the moment. He would have been the first to admit that he didn't have the slightest idea of what she was working on, not because he didn't care, but because she had been driving him insane for the better part of the last two hours. He shook his head to clear it as she came back into his line of sight, and when she reclaimed her place across from him, she gave him a smile.

"Just think, babe. In a few weeks, finals will be over, and we won't know what to do with all the free time we have."

"Mhmm," he muttered absentmindedly.

Abbey frowned, looking at him with a slightly concerned expression, and she leaned forward on the table, trying to catch his eyes with her own.

"Jed, are you okay?"

He said nothing for a long moment, and when she said his name again, he shook his head, finally raising his eyes, the intensity of his gaze making her feel suddenly worried. He stood quickly, picking up the books he had been attempting to read, and as he walked to shelve them, he took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. If he knew anything about Abbey, it wouldn't be long before she followed him, and God help him if he didn't manage to think somewhat clearly before she did.

"Jed?"

Damn. He finished shelving the books before turning to look at her, and when he spoke, he made sure to keep his voice soft, lest they be overheard.

"I think I'm going to take a break from studying today."

Abbey's eyes widened and she took a step closer, making him fight the urge to step back. God only knew what would happen if she touched him.

"Are you sick? You never take a break when finals are this close."

Her touch was light on his arm, but he still jumped as though she had burned him, and he shook his head.

"I just can't concentrate right now."

"Are you sure nothing is wrong? I could always—"

Jed grabbed her by the arm, crashing his mouth against hers as soon as he had pulled her against him, his tongue tasting every part of her as they kissed. When he finally released her, Abbey merely stared at him, her eyes slightly dazed, and there was no mistaking the ragged tone in his voice as he spoke.

"I can't focus because all I can think about is tearing your clothes off in the middle of the library."

"That's a pretty good way to get yourself kicked out, so do you mind if I make a suggestion?"

He waited, knowing she wasn't really asking for confirmation, and she gave him a smile as she stepped closer, her breath warm on his skin as she continued.

"Why don't we take a break, go back to a dorm room, and you can demonstrate exactly what you've been thinking about all afternoon?"

God, he loved her.

As he breathed in the scent of vanilla perfume, Jed lifted Abbey off her feet, bracing her weight on the door behind her, and she smiled as her hands tangled in his hair.

"You know," she whispered as she kissed him, "there is something inexplicably sexy about being pinned against a wall."

"Mhm," he murmured as he moved his lips to her throat, "Now stop talking, Abigail."

Abbey laughed, untucking his shirt as best she could from her current position, and she frowned when she realized that it was proving more difficult than she had expected.

"This would be easier if—"

Her words were cut off suddenly and before he had even realized what happened, he found himself sprawled on the floor, Abbey landing on top of his body with a shriek. He closed his eyes in pain as he tried to remember how to breathe, and Abbey raised her head slowly from his shoulder, swearing as she fought the dizziness that slammed into her.

"Oh, shit! Jed, Abbey, are you okay?!"

Abbey slowly moved her body away from his, a pained expression on her face, and Jed winced as he tried to pull himself to an upright position, trying to keep from glaring at Millie as she closed the door. Using Millie's bed for balance, Abbey stood carefully, stumbling slightly as she looked at her roommate, and she held out her hand to Jed, blinking hard. He accepted her help, still trying to pull air into his lungs, and when he felt his knees buckle, he landed on Millie's bed, thankful that Abbey still had a tight grip on his hand.

"Jed, are you okay?! I am so sorry! I didn't know you were right behind the door!"

"What was the huge rush, Millie?" Abbey asked weakly, "You could have opened it a bit slower."

"I'm sorry! I was just coming to tell you that Howson has been fired. Not suspended, fired. I just heard it from that girl down the hall. He was apparently escorted off campus a few minutes ago. Everyone's talking about it."

"That's great," Abbey moaned, her head falling into her hands, "And what better way to mark the occasion than by a concussion?"

Jed slowly opened his eyes, thankful that his lungs seemed to finally remember their purpose, and when he felt Abbey place her hand on his shoulder, he forced himself to turn his head, ignoring the pain that shot through him with every movement.

"Are you okay, babe?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he answered, though his voice was weaker than he would have liked, "Just don't expect me to run out and join the basketball team any time soon."

"I'll be right back," Millie said suddenly, turning to walk to the door, "I'm going to get some ice. I am so sorry, you guys!"

Slowly, he and Abbey made their way across the room, and when he fell onto her bed, Abbey's eyes widened, helping him to lie down, trying to fight the growing concern she felt.

"Jed…?"

"I'm fine, Abbey," he tried to make his voice lighter than he felt, "I think I'm definitely going to feel this in the morning, though."

Abbey sat down on the bed, moving so that his upper body was across her lap, and she ran her fingers lightly through his hair, unconsciously checking for any cuts or abrasions. Jed smiled in mild amusement as he realized that she wasn't even aware of her actions, and he shook his head carefully.

"Don't worry, Dr. Barrington. I've definitely had worse injuries."

"Maybe so, but they don't typically involve me landing on top of you."

"What a shame," he said jokingly, "That was the best part."

She rolled her eyes at his attempt at a joke, and when Millie returned moments later carrying several plastic bags filled with ice, she handed one to him wordlessly, looking at Abbey worriedly.

"I really am sorry," she said softly, shaking her head, "Are you bleeding?"

Jed shook his head, slowly sitting up, and when Abbey held a bag of ice to the back of her head, she closed her eyes, taking a slow breath.

"I think we're both going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow morning," she muttered.

"Millie, what were you saying about Howson?" Jed asked, "I was a little preoccupied with trying to breathe earlier."

"Right! He was escorted off campus about fifteen minutes ago. With the statements that everyone gave, they said there was no way he could safely be allowed to stay, and they fired him. Isn't that a relief?"

Abbey nodded, her head still a little foggy, and when she smiled, she hoped it didn't look as forced as it felt.

"Yeah, Millie. It's great."

Jed frowned at the tone of her voice, but she shook her head as she felt him turn to look at her, her eyes closed.

"It really is good news, I'm just still a little rattled from smacking my head on the ground."

"I'm so sorry, Abs. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."

Jed laughed.

"You're going to regret that statement, Millie."

Abbey rolled her eyes, letting her head fall onto his shoulder.

"Shut up, Jed."

Two weeks after the firing of Professor Howson found Abbey and Jed studying in the library, filling notebook after notebook as they tried to prepare for their finals, each one pretending that they didn't feel the pressure with each passing moment. Abbey was furiously scrawling notes in the margins of a paper that depicted a diagram of the chest cavity, her pen flying across the sheet, and as Jed raised his eyes from his own work, he smiled.

"How can you even read that? You're writing so fast that it can't possibly make sense."

"It's a special skill," Abbey muttered, "Now, hush. You're distracting me."

He laughed, turning his attention back to his own paper, and when he heard a soft voice just to his right, he frowned.

"Hi, Jed. Hi, Abbey."

Abbey smiled as she glanced up, her eyes brightening at the sight of the girl in front of them.

"Hi, Sara! How have you been?"

Sara smiled.

"Things have been good. I didn't want to bother you, but I just wanted to stop and say hi. And to thank you again for everything you did to help me with—well, you know."

Abbey waved her apology away with a smile, shaking her head.

"No need to thank me. It's over and now we can both breathe a little easier."

Sara nodded, still smiling.

"Well, anyway, I'll let you both get back to studying. It was nice to see you again!"

She disappeared as quickly as she had come, and Jed smiled as Abbey picked up her pen again.

"She's a nice girl," he remarked lightly.

"She is," Abbey agreed, "but right now, this diagram is kicking my ass, so hush. I need to focus."

A few moments passed in silence, and when Jed glanced at her paper again, he couldn't stop the laughter that spilled out of him, earning him a glare.

"What's so funny?"

"I hate to tell you this, babe," he began, still laughing, "but your diagram is upside down."

After staring at the page in front of her for a long moment, Abbey swore quietly, rolling her eyes as she tossed her pen onto the table.

"God damn it," she muttered, "That's it. I quit. You're just going to have to support me for the rest of our lives. I give up."

"You couldn't give up if your life depended on it, Abigail."

As much as she hated to admit it, he made a very good point, and she sighed, picking up her pen. Damn him for being right.

If she had been asked, Abigail Barrington would have said that she had never studied so hard in her entire life, and as she walked with Jed back to his dorm room, she laid her head tiredly on his shoulder, her eyes burning as she did so. She was so exhausted that she had flat out refused to even entertain the idea of sex that evening, though Jed hadn't so much as mentioned it to her, and when they finally made it back to his room, he gave her a warm smile.

"Well, if you don't pass that Anatomy final, it won't be because you didn't try," he said as he sat down on his bed.

Abbey nodded, falling onto the bed with a sigh, letting her head rest on his legs lightly.

"You know, while you're there…" Jed remarked jokingly, "I've never gotten—"

"Josiah Bartlet, if you finish that sentence, I'll kill you in your sleep," she muttered.

"Would you?" he asked, looking down at her in amusement.

"No," she sighed, "I don't have the energy that murder requires."

She closed her eyes slowly, losing herself in the sensation of his fingers combing through her hair, and she smiled as she felt herself drifting closer to sleep. She didn't even flinch when Jeremy opened the door ten minutes later, too exhausted to care, and she moved closer to Jed's warmth.

"—found him dead this afternoon."

Her eyes opened slowly, and she frowned, having no idea what had just been said.

"Jeremy, what did you just say?"

"I said that no one will ever have to worry about Howson again. They found him dead this afternoon."

She sat up immediately, blinking in confusion, and she shook her head, certain she had misheard him.

"What?" she asked weakly.

"It's all over the news. They found him with a gun in his hand, in the middle of his apartment, blood everywhere. They've ruled out any foul play, it looks like he did it himself."

Abbey shook her head again, her entire body trembling, and when Jed glanced at her, he frowned as he noticed how pale she had become.

"Abbey?"

"You okay, doc?"

She moved quickly, reaching for the trash can next to Jed's bed, and as she held it tightly in her hands, she vomited, harsh sobs tearing from her throat. Jed gathered her hair in his hands, his eyes meeting Jeremy's worriedly, and as she vomited again, her fingers gripped the trash can so tightly that they were pure white. Frowning when Jeremy stood up, Jed gave him a strange look, but as soon as he realized what he'd picked up, he nodded in understanding. After several minutes, Abbey took a shaking breath, and Jeremy handed her the bottle of mouthwash, a sympathetic smile on his face.

Rinsing her mouth more than once, Abbey spat the liquid into the bin, setting it on the floor within easy reach, and she gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Don't mention it," Jeremy said, moving to sit back on his own bed.

"Better?" Jed asked quietly.

Abbey nodded then shook her head, a troubled look coming over her face.

"Jed, a man is dead because of me."

"No, a man is dead because he made the choice to assault two women and he couldn't handle the consequences," he told her firmly, but not ungently, "You didn't put the gun in his hand, you didn't make him pull the trigger."

"Maybe not, but—"

"No, no 'but'. If he had still worked here, he would have done something so much worse to who-knows-how-many girls. You did the right thing by reporting him, you did the right thing by making sure Sara was safe, and you are not to blame for this."

"Then why do I still feel guilty?" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Because you're a good person, doc," Jeremy said, looking at her seriously, "But this wasn't your fault. He made the choice to assault you, to threaten you, he's the one responsible for getting fired. He's the one who made the choice to end his life. Not you. A man like that doesn't deserve your sympathy or your tears, so don't waste them on him."

Abbey stood suddenly, looking between them both once, and she shook her head as she walked slowly to the door.

"I'm sorry, I—I need to be alone for a while. I need to think."

"Are you going to be okay, baby?"

She turned to look at him, nodding once.

"I'll be okay, Jed," she said softly.

She reached for the door, her hand shaking as she pulled it open.

"Abbey?"

The distance and hollowness in her eyes made Jed's concern immediately skyrocket, but he forced himself to keep his voice steady as she met his gaze across the room.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, the sadness in her voice nearly shattering his heart.

She swept out of the room, leaving them both to stare after her in confusion, and when Jeremy spoke, there was a pain in his voice that Jed had never heard before.

"You know she still blames herself, right?"

Jed sighed, nodding as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I know."

Abbey had never been more thankful to be alone in her dorm in her life, and as she sat down on her bed, she tried to control the shaking in her hands, taking several deep breaths as she tried to sort through the thoughts spinning in her head. She knew, logically, that Jed and Jeremy were right, knew she had nothing to do with Howson's death, but she couldn't help the guilt that seemed to be pushing in on her from every angle. Her head fell into her hands as she tried to remind herself that Howson had caused physical harm not just to herself, but Sara as well, to say nothing of the emotional strain it had caused, but she couldn't stop the tears that dripped through her fingers no matter how hard she tried.

She raised her head from her hands, catching sight of her reflection in the full-length mirror that she'd hung on the wall over a year ago, and she shook her head in disgust. How could she live with herself? It had ultimately been her statements combined with the physical evidence that had led to Howson's dismissal, and now…now a man was dead. A sick, troubled man, but wasn't every life precious? She hadn't held the gun, true, but she had been responsible, at least partially.

Unable to stand it any longer, she pulled a blanket from her bed, crossing the room and tossing it over the mirror, effectively hiding her reflection, and she bit back a sob as she took a deep breath. The blanket wasn't enough, and she yanked it down, launching it across the room in her frustration, and when her eyes landed on the bottle of scotch on Millie's bedside table, she picked it up with hands so unsteady that she was amazed she hadn't dropped it.

Several long drinks weren't enough to stop the thoughts in her head, and she felt her tears beginning to fall again, blurring her vision. The bottle flew from her fingers, connecting with the mirror, and both shattered on impact, though she didn't seem to be bothered by this fact in the least. What was seven years of bad luck compared to the death of another human being? In the grand scheme of things, Abbey thought that it paled in comparison. This was the least she deserved.

She had no idea how long she paced the floor, arguing with the voice in the back of her mind, reminding herself that Howson had done this of his own accord, that he had been a dangerous man, then ultimately veering in the other direction, hardly able to stomach the thought that her actions had (whether directly or indirectly) led to the loss of a human life. The only passage of time she noted was the elongation of her shadow as she tried to sort through the emotions, and when her door opened, she didn't even notice Millie's soft gasp of shock.

"Abbey, what the hell happened in here?"

"He's dead, Millie," Abbey said quietly, still pacing the room.

She dimly registered Millie's nod as she passed her, her eyes staring blankly ahead.

"I know. I heard. That still doesn't explain what happened in here and why—Abbey, where are your shoes?"

Though she heard the words, her mind didn't register the question, and Abbey took another step, passing Millie quickly.

"Abbey, stop. You're walking on glass. Do you even know that?"

Millie reached out to grab her arm, effectively halting her steps, and when Abbey's eyes finally met hers, she felt a rush of concern at the glassy look in her friend's green irises.

"What happened, Abbey? Sit down and talk to me before you cause major damage to your feet."

Blinking, Abbey glanced down, unsure of when she had taken off her heels, frowning at the flecks of blood staining her skin, and she nodded slowly, letting Millie lead her to her bed.

"He's dead because of me, Millie."

"Are you insane? Abbey, he blew his own brains out, you had nothing to do with that."

Abbey flinched at her words, shaking her head.

"I was the one who reported him. I was the one who had the physical evidence they used against him. He was fired because of that. He lost everything because of me."

Millie stared at her, reaching out to take her hand, her eyes burning as she spoke.

"No, he didn't," she said gently, "He made those decisions, Abbey. Not you. I know this might be hard for you to believe, but you didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel guilty," Abbey whispered.

"I know, but—"

"No, you don't!" her voice was louder, making Millie jump, "I feel guilty because he's dead and whether I did the right thing isn't the point and I—I feel guilty because I'm relieved. I shouldn't feel relief from the death of another person! What does that say about me? What kind of person feels relieved by someone dying?"

"I think you need to talk to Jed," Millie said softly.

Abbey shook her head, blinking back tears.

"I've bothered Jed enough with the shit going on in my head to last a lifetime."

"Think about it, Abbey. His father abused him for his entire life. He was in danger every time he was alone with that man, and yet he didn't wish death on him. But you and I both know that he felt relieved when his father died because he didn't have to be afraid anymore. He was finally safe from someone he should have been able to trust but who decided to use that trust against him. Jed is exactly the person you need to talk to about this. He would understand better than anyone what you're going through."

Millie paused, looking at her seriously, making sure that she was listening before continuing.

"I'm not saying you have to talk to him right this second, but you know I'm right. Now, why don't you stay here, and I'll go find some bandages for your feet?"

Abbey nodded, and when Millie left the room to find supplies, she lifted her right foot to her bed, leaning close to examine the damage. She could see several fragments of glass sticking out of her skin, and as she reached for the largest one, she braced herself for the pain. Her fingers slipped on the smooth surface of the glass more than once, and when she finally began to pull it free, she closed her eyes as fresh blood began to flow. How had she not noticed this happening?

Most of the cuts were superficial, more of an annoyance than anything, and when Millie returned with an armful of bandages and a bottle of rubbing alcohol, Abbey had already arranged the broken glass into a neat pile on her bedside table. The pile was strangely intriguing to her, holding her attention for longer than she had expected, and as Millie handed her the medical supplies, she offered her a small smile.

"I would have preferred hydrogen peroxide, but all I could find was the alcohol."

Abbey shrugged, not really concerned.

"It's okay. Hey, Millie, I just thought of something: if rubbing alcohol cleans exterior wounds, doesn't it stand to reason that drinking alcohol would clean interior wounds?"

It took several seconds for Millie to realize that she was joking, and when she shook her head, she sighed, looking at Abbey in exasperation.

"I think it stands to reason that you've been spending too much time with Jeremy Clenden."

Abbey bit down on her bottom lip as she carefully poured the alcohol over her skin, closing her eyes in pain as it trailed over the shallow cuts, and as she began the process of applying the bandages, she rolled her eyes.

"Perk of studying to be a doctor, I guess…I can tend to my own injuries."

She paused, checking to make sure she had wrapped them tightly, and when she raised her eyes to Millie's, she sighed.

"I hate feeling like this, Millie. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Do you know what happened when I heard the news about Howson? I vomited into Jed's trash can. Multiple times. I hated the man, for God's sake. Why does it—what's wrong with me?"

"It's a complicated situation, Abbey. Makes sense that you would have complicated feelings about it. That's why I said you need to talk to Jed."

Abbey nodded, knowing that Millie was right, but still hating it. Couldn't they have any period of time where it didn't feel as though they were waiting for the next crisis? Was that really too much to ask?

Inhaling the smoke from his cigarette, Jed leaned casually against the wall of the building that housed Abbey's Anatomy class, waiting for the opening of the door that would signal the end of the lesson. He knew Abbey had been worried about passing the exam, though he was confident she had passed easily, and he closed his eyes as he allowed his mind to wander. He hadn't seen much of her since the news of Howson's death, which he was forced to admit concerned him a little, but he trusted her to come to him if she wanted to talk. He certainly didn't want to push her if she wasn't ready, no matter how concerned he was. He knew all too well how Abbey reacted when she was pushed too far, and it wasn't a situation he wanted to find himself in.

The sound of someone saying his name pulled him from his thoughts, making his eyes open, and when he saw Sara standing a few steps away, he gave her a smile.

"Hi, Sara."

"Hi," she replied, "Are you waiting for Abbey?"

He nodded, taking a long drag off his cigarette.

"Yeah, but if you see her, don't tell her I was smoking. She'll never let me hear the end of it."

Sara laughed.

"I take it she isn't a fan?"

"She's been jumping down my throat about it since the day we met. Literally. The night we met, one of the first things she said to me was about how smoking would kill me."

"That sounds like Abbey."

Jed laughed, finishing the cigarette quickly, and he nodded as he tossed it into a trash can.

"Yeah. So, how have you been? Finals going okay?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, don't ask. Finals are going to be the death of me. But things have gotten better since I heard the news about…well, I'm sure you know. How did Abbey take it?"

"Not well," Jed admitted, remembering her pale skin, "I think she was more shocked than anything."

"I imagine so. Well, have a good day, Jed! Tell Abbey I said hi!"

She waved at him before making her way into the building and he smiled as he heard the doors opening. He was glad to see the younger girl so happy, and he just hoped that maybe he could lift Abbey's mood when he saw her. As it turned out, Abbey was talking excitedly with one of her classmates when she came into view, and when her eyes landed on him, they lit up as though she hadn't seen him in months.

"Jed! What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," he said simply, "How did the final go?"

Her smile was brighter than anything he'd seen in days, and she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I passed! It wasn't the highest mark I've ever gotten, but I passed!"

He kissed her lightly, returning her smile easily.

"I knew you would. Congratulations, babe. I'm proud of you."

"What about you?" she asked, "How did your History final turn out?"

"Highest mark in the class," he said, trying to keep his tone light.

"Highest—Jed! That's amazing!"

She kissed him again, though she frowned when she pulled away, her eyes landing on his seriously.

"You've been smoking," her tone was accusatory.

"Nothing gets by you, Abigail," he replied with a laugh, throwing his arm around her shoulder as they began walking.

Abbey rolled her eyes, sighing in annoyance as she walked next to him, and Jed glanced at her, a teasing smile on his face.

"Excuse me, Miss Barrington, did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Nothing gets by you, Jethro," she answered, matching his previous tone.

Jed swept her into his arms, smiling when her bright laughter reached his ears, and as her arms locked around his neck, he kissed her, grateful that no one nearby was paying them any attention in the least.

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

Abbey raised her eyebrow at him, her expression one of mock annoyance.

"You don't really expect me to listen to you when you talk, do you? You and I both know that our relationship has no real depth. It's all about the sex."

He nodded, his eyes serious.

"You're right. It's all about how great my ass looks in jeans and how amazing your legs look in a skirt."

"Obviously," Abbey replied with a laugh.

Placing her back down on the ground, Jed frowned when he noticed that she winced slightly, shaking his head as they began walking again.

"Is your ankle bothering you?"

Abbey frowned.

"What? No, it's fine."

"You winced. Did I hurt you when I picked you up? Abbey, I—"

"No," she assured him lightly, smiling when she realized what he meant, "You didn't hurt me. This was my mistake, Jed, not yours."

Though he wanted to ask her to elaborate, her smile was so beautiful that he didn't want to do anything that might risk it leaving her face, and he merely nodded, his arm around her waist.

"Well, to celebrate your outstanding intellect, I think we should have a glass of scotch and spend the rest of our day doing as little as possible."

Abbey laughed, smiling as they neared her dorm room, her eyes bright as she looked at him.

"You read my mind, babe."

Jed lightly clinked his glass against Abbey's after he had poured a generous amount of alcohol into both, and as he spoke, there was no mistaking the pride in his voice.

"Here's to you, Abbey. The smartest person I know, which also makes you the most terrifying person I know."

She laughed, shaking her head.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I know if I pissed you off badly enough, you could kill me in the most medically painful way possible."

She acknowledged this with another laugh and as he took a drink from his glass, Jed smiled, looking at her slowly.

"You should do that more often."

"Do what? Kill you in the most painful way possible? Jed, I had no idea you were such a masochist."

No," he said rolling his eyes, "Laugh. You have the most beautiful and contagious laugh in the world."

"Thank you," she said with a smile, taking a drink from her glass, "I think."

She slipped her shoes off, grateful for the relief, and when he noticed the bandages covering her feet, Jed frowned, looking at her seriously.

"What happened to your feet? Are you hiding a cat here that I don't know about?"

"No, the mirror broke a few days ago, and I stepped on broken glass."

"Uh-huh," Jed said slowly, "And how did the mirror break? Correct me if I'm wrong, but they aren't typically prone to spontaneously shattering."

"We don't have to get into this now," she said quietly, "I don't want to ruin the mood. Please, Jed, just for tonight, let it go."

One look into her brilliant green eyes was enough to make him nod, though there was one thing he wanted to make sure she knew before the night was through.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? Even if I don't always understand, I'll always try."

Abbey nodded, smiling as she leaned closer, kissing him lightly.

"I know," she whispered, "and I promise I'll tell you, just…not tonight, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly, pulling her as close to his body as possible, "Tonight is a celebration, so what would you like to do?"

Thinking hard, Abbey suddenly stood, ignoring the slight pain in her feet, holding out her hand.

"Dance with me, Jed."

He took her hand, smiling when she moved to turn on her record player, and as she stepped back into his arms, he held her as close as humanly possible. Her head came to rest on his shoulder as they danced around the room, and when he kissed her hair lightly, he felt her smile against the fabric of his shirt.

"I know I've said it already, but I am so proud of you, Abbey. You've worked so hard, and you've never let anything stand in your way. There aren't words in the English language that really describe how much I love you, so I'll say it another way: Tu es clarissima et maxime capitiva stella in universe."

Abbey raised her head to look at him, a questioning look in her eyes, and he kissed her slowly as he carefully dipped her backward.

"You are the most beautiful and captivating star in my universe," he translated, spinning her in a circle after he had pulled her back up.

"I love you," she said quietly, "and you are absolutely getting laid tonight."

Jed laughed as the song came to an end, kissing her one final time before he released her, and as Abbey reached for her glass of scotch, he said a silent prayer of gratitude, knowing that no matter how long he lived, he would never deserve the woman standing in front of him, but vowing to try all the same.

The clock on the wall had just moved to read thirteen minutes past two when Abbey's eyes opened, and she frowned as she tried to figure out what had woken her. To her disappointment, Jed had slept in his own room that night, though she knew he had been worried about being caught slipping out in the morning, and she blinked as she tried to clear her head. For once, she had been enjoying a dreamless sleep, so she couldn't imagine what had woken her, and as she turned to face the door, she closed her eyes again, coughing to clear her throat.

She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, however, and when she opened her eyes in annoyance, she again noticed the hazy quality that had taken over her vision, only serving to irritate her more. Why couldn't she just sleep? It hit her suddenly that the haziness wasn't limited to her own eyes, and when she took a breath, it burned painfully, making her sit up in alarm.

"Millie."

She realized with a jolt that she had just inhaled smoke, and she jumped from her bed, making her way quickly over to Millie's side of the room, shaking her urgently.

"Millie, wake up."

Millie mumbled incoherently in her sleep, and Abbey shook her again, more forcefully this time, feeling more than a little relieved when she finally looked at her, her irritation clear.

"Abbey, I know you like to start your morning at the crack of dawn, but—"

"Get up," Abbey said urgently, fighting against the cough she felt in her chest, "Something is burning. We need to get out of here."

It took a few seconds for her words to make sense in Millie's half-asleep state, but as soon as she understood, she threw her blankets off, looking at Abbey through the haze.

"What do we do if we can't get out the door?"

"Worry about that if it happens, come on!"

Abbey cautiously checked the door handle, finding it warm but not hot, and though she knew it was a risk, she pulled it open, coughing immediately as thick smoke billowed into the room. She reached for Millie's hand as she stepped out of their room, blindly feeling her way down the hall, and as they passed the room next to theirs, Abbey glanced at her.

"I think we found the problem."

Though she desperately wanted to check the room, Millie pulled her down the hall, both trying to inhale as little as possible, and when they stumbled into the open air, Abbey finally stopped, pulling as much oxygen into her lungs as they would allow. A quick glance around them showed that nearly everyone had been accounted for, and as the two girls who shared a room across the hall from Abbey and Millie came into view, Abbey made her way over to Sara, looking at her curiously.

"Sara, what's going on?" she asked, coughing as she took a breath.

"Looks like someone fell asleep with a lit cigarette. I think it was Laura from the room next to you. It seems like it wasn't too bad, just a lot of smoke. They're definitely installing smoke alarms after this."

Abbey nodded, closing her eyes as she began coughing again, and when she noticed the flashing lights approaching, she glanced at Sara tiredly.

"Fire department is here to save the day," she said dryly, "After everyone has vacated and already doused the fire."

Sara laughed.

"To be fair, they didn't know how big a fire it was when they got in their truck."

Abbey was too tired to articulate a response, so she merely nodded, moving a short distance away to sit on the ground. God, what a night.

The lights flashing through the window as they passed were enough to pull Jed from his sleep, and he frowned as he blinked in the sudden brightness. When he finally understood what he was seeing, he swung his legs over the edge of his bed, looking out the window curiously, and he pulled on his shoes the moment it registered that the vehicle was headed towards the girls' dorm room. Not even glancing to see if he'd woken Jeremy, Jed wasted no time in making his way to the door, hastily throwing on an old shirt, though he couldn't have cared less about the sweatpants he was currently wearing.

It took him less than a minute to cross the campus, scanning the area for Abbey, his curiosity morphing into concern when he didn't see her standing next to Millie. It quickly vanished when he spotted her sitting on the ground a few feet away from Sara, and he quietly moved closer, not wanting to alarm her.

"It's a little early to be sitting on the ground and contemplating your existence, don't you think?"

Abbey turned at the sound of his voice, smiling at him tiredly.

"What are you doing here?"

"The lights woke me up. What's going on?"

"Small fire in one of the rooms. Someone fell asleep with a lit cigarette. See, I told you that cigarettes would kill you."

Jed wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"Abigail, can we save the lecture until the sun comes up? You're right, but I don't have the mental capacity to get into it right now."

Abbey laughed, though it quickly turned into a cough, making him look at her, his eyes worried.

"You okay?"

She nodded slowly, taking a careful breath.

"Just inhaled a little too much smoke. Thank God I woke up, or Millie and I would be dead. I can't believe that there are no alarms in the building. I'm pretty sure that's a safety violation."

"I'm fairly certain that there will be alarms now," he replied lightly.

They sat quietly for several long moments, each watching the crowd around them with mild interest, and Jed unconsciously pulled her closer, lightly kissing her hair, noting the scent of smoke clinging to her.

"I feel guilty, Jed," Abbey said suddenly, her voice quiet.

"For the fire? Honey, I know if you had it your way, no one would smoke ever, but you can't control—"

"No, not about that. I know it isn't my job to fix everyone's problems. I'm not you," she replied, ignoring the glare he shot her, "I meant about Howson. I feel guilty because a part of me…a really big part of me…is relieved that he's dead. I—God, Jed, what kind of person feels that way after someone dies? I'm a horrible person."

"If you're a horrible person, then humanity is doomed, Abbey," Jed answered softly, not wanting to attract attention, "and if you're a horrible person, then so am I. If you don't think that I felt the same way after my father died, then you've been lying to yourself. I was relieved when I realized that I didn't have to be on edge constantly, wondering if even just one wrong move would end in a slap to the face or worse. It isn't the same situation, but the outcome is the same. It makes sense that you would feel relief because now you don't have to be scared of him coming after you anymore. And you feel guilty about that because, just like Jeremy told you, you're a good person. You have compassion and empathy, even for those who don't deserve it. And I love that about you."

"I'm really angry that he's dead, too. He should have been forced to live with the pain of what he's done and understand just how much damage his actions caused, but he didn't. He got off really easy, when you think about it. It isn't fair," she sighed, "and I hate that I want him to suffer, but I do."

"Believe me, baby, he's in Hell and he's suffering plenty."

"I hope you're right, Jed," she whispered, "I hate myself for it, but it's the truth."

Jed kissed her hair again, not knowing how to put into words just how much he loved her for admitting the truth, but as they sat there in the darkness, he had a feeling that maybe she already knew.

A/N: Hope you liked it!